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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24374647">Real Life Love Is Under the Mirror of the Surface</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nigaki/pseuds/Nigaki'>Nigaki</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Accidental Stimulation, Alternate Universe - Merpeople, Anal Sex, Awkward Romance, Blood and Injury, Blow Jobs, Bottom John Marston, Cannibalism, Comparing scars, Consensual Somnophilia, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Drowning, Falling In Love, Feral Arthur Morgan, First Everything, First Kiss, First Meetings, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Hand Jobs, Holding Hands, Hosea is a good dad, Hurt Arthur Morgan, Hurt John Marston, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Injury Recovery, It'll make sense, John has one brain cell, John is a monster fucker, Kissing, M/M, Mary-Beth gives good advices, Merperson Arthur Morgan, Micah is an asshole, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Protective Arthur Morgan, Protective John Marston, Rimming, Romance, Romantic Gestures, Secret Relationship, Shooting, Slow Burn, Smut, Sort Of, Top Arthur Morgan, and more man-eating merpeople, but we love him anyway, but what is new?, but with less songs, it's basically Disney's Tarzan/Little Mermaid fusion, kind of, not really - Freeform, save a boat ride a merman, supportive friends, underwater kissing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:40:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>327,190</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24374647</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nigaki/pseuds/Nigaki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After the bank heist gone wrong and Sean getting injured, John feels unwelcome in the gang where everybody blames him for how the robbery ended. Dutch being angry at him is the worst part, so John decides to leave to catch some break and come back when everyone will calm down.</p><p> </p><p>Looking for a peaceful place just for himself, John discovers an uncharted lagoon. Peace isn’t the only thing he finds there. And what he finds, or rather who, will change his life in a way he never thought was possible for an outlaw like him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>John Marston/Arthur Morgan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>296</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>513</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Creature from the Blue Lagoon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So yeah, its mermay! But this idea was sitting in my head since last year. Because when I have an otp, I need to make a merpeople au for them! At first I wrote first two chapters only in Polish and I wasn't sure if I should write more or even publish it, even though I knew how the story would progress and end. Only after I started writing in English I decided to give this story a try now that I feel confident enough to write longer stuff in my second language! I hope you will like the story even tho it doesn’t exactly fit RDR atmosphere but maybe I will make it work, who knows!<br/>Enjoy!</p><p>The title comes from the song Aquaman by Walk The Moon.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The tensions was high when the gang finally stopped to make the camp. During the whole travel, John kept himself in the back, not wanting to feel other’s angry or disappointed gazes on himself. Or both at the same time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dutch was the worst of all of them, who’s mix of anger and disappointed hurt more than any knife that ever sliced through John’s flesh. He never felt anything like that, but he also never screwed up a job this bad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The result of his failures was currently limping towards the main fire. Sean got shot in the leg during last heist. In the knee, to be exact. He would probably never walk correctly again, not to mention run. They took care of his wound as best as they could during the ride but it didn’t help much. The boy couldn’t even use that leg, Bill and Charles helped him move so he didn’t have to put any pressure on his knee that lost at least half of its size. The bandage that was wrapped around it was all red.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone was helping setting up the camp. John stood on the side with his horse and stroked him softly on the muzzle, pretending he wasn’t there. Maybe if he would avoid the subject long enough, everyone else would forget about the whole thing?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Only Sean would never forget. It would be good if he won’t feel pain in his knee for the rest of his life. It was hurting him so much right now the boy didn’t even tried to hide his tears when his bandaged was being changed. For a short while, before Grimshaw get in the way, John once again saw what was left from his friend’s knee. It didn’t even look like a knee anymore, more like a red, shredded by wild dogs lump of meat. John could swear that when he first saw it, he caught a glimpse of hanging piece of flesh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A very close revolver shot can do quit a damage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John cut himself from all the noises coming from his left and focused on the only creature that wasn’t blaming him for what happened. That’s why he didn’t hear he wasn’t alone anymore, he only sensed it. It felt like being stabbed again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned nervously towards Dutch. John thought that the leader will calm down a little on the way to this place, but it turned out to be a wishful thinking. Dutch was as angry as he was when he heard Sean scream of pain and realized what happened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anger hadn’t left Dutch ever since. John already heard some scolding words about his mistake, he was sure that would be the end of it but now he wasn’t so sure anymore. Now he had a feeling Dutch didn’t even show his true anger yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you have anything to say about your actions, John?” Dutch asked with a terrifyingly calm voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John looked anywhere he could to not meet Dutch’s eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, hoping it’d be enough. “I made a mistake.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A mistake that could’ve cost them more than a limping Sean. A mistake that shouldn’t even be called his, because he did everything right. He couldn’t have predicted what happened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You made a mistake,” Dutch repeated. John grimaced when he heard his cold tone. Dutch was disappointed. With him. “This is how you call screwing up a perfectly good heist?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John preferred the term “unexpected turn of events”. It fitted what happened better. It wasn’t his fault, he did what he was supposed to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What else should I call it?” he asked instead of what he was just thinking of. He felt brave enough to look at Dutch, but his attention was stolen by others standing far away behind the leader, watching and trying to listen to the whole conversation. As if John wasn’t feeling humiliated enough. Maybe that’s what Dutch was trying to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe a sabotage,” the older man suggested and took a step closer towards John. “How else you can call what an experienced man like you did, if not a premeditation.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t do it on purpose!” John doubted Dutch really suspected him for sabotaging the heist but it still hurt. He may have liked some of the gang members less than the others but he would never wish anything like that for them. Maybe only for Micah.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure don’t do much to prevent those things from happening.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I already apologized, what else do you want from me?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tried, he really did! Agree, he made some mistakes recently but never on purpose! And he sure as hell didn’t purposely let Sean get shot. If it was Dutch in Sean’s place, John wouldn’t have noticed the gun either. It was impossible to notice it, he couldn’t see how it was his fault like during some of the other robberies, those really were his fault. What was Dutch expecting of him? That he would take it back? Heal Sean’s leg? Why couldn’t he just leave John alone?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To do your job like you used to do!” Dutch yelled. If no one heard them before, this definitely brought their attention. John felt almost naked being watched like that. “Recently you always disappoint me. A mistake here, a slip up there, and yesterday Sean almost lost his life because of your lack of focus! What’s happening with you, boy?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He really didn’t know. If he did, he would’ve fixed it a long time ago, risking other people life wasn’t fun to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe… Maybe I’m just tired,” John tried explaining himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dutch was throwing hundreds of jobs at him. Whenever there was something to do, he always send John, as if other were unviable. John was really tired by this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tired? You think others aren’t tired? Have you seen them making so many mistakes like you?” If he rested as much as them, he’d be in the best shape as well. “You’re my best gunman and you’re making childish mistakes. Get yourself back together, son or we’ll all die because of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t going to listen to this any longer. He had enough after the last couple of weeks. All he heard nowadays after every job was complains, then Dutch was giving him another one expecting success, and when John came back on the shield almost each time, the complains were starting all over again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without a word, John turned to Old Boy and climbed into saddle ignoring Dutch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are you going?” the older man asked, frustrated that John wasn’t listening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To think,” he answered shortly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You running like a little child, Marston?” he heard Micah shouting. “You gonna cry too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Screw you, Micah!” John yelled back and made his horse go faster, leaving the camp behind them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Recently he was feeling unwelcome there. And even if someone still respected him, they were looking at him with pity as well. John hated it. And that he was responsible for everything, as he was some wizard that can turn any job into a success, win every shoot-out or lose any chase.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t alone in this gang and yet he was carrying it all alone, all the time. He was good, the best, but he had his breaking point and he was reaching it right now. If he didn’t already.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John had a feeling that everyone was expecting more and more from him. They got used to perfection and now they couldn’t handle that he was still human after all and he could make mistakes. Many of them weren’t even his fault but the blame had to be put on someone, so why not at him? Maybe he didn’t make any mistake, but he didn’t prevent them either, ergo, he was the one responsible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had enough of it. He wanted to rest finally, not do everyone’s job. Go scout, secure the place, keep an eye on the hostages, beat the wanna-be-hero, cover the escape. He did all of that like he always do. It wasn’t his fault that one of the clients in the bank had a hidden weapon. It wasn’t his fault that Sean stupidly turned his back to the fella. It wasn’t his fault that Bill didn’t watch the hostages while John was threatening the manager just like Dutch told him to, preventing John from seeing if any of the hostages didn’t hide any more weapon on them. It wasn’t his fault they didn’t took enough people for the job. Who needs a bigger group when they have John who fights like three man?</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Surprise! John wasn’t going to do all the job while rest of the gang was going to lazy around, waiting for him to bring them money they’d use to get drunk while he’d be doing another job. After all, it would be a shame to let that much potential go to waste.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the moments like this he regretted being so good. Back in the days he was proud of being Dutch’s favorite, the perfect gunslinger their leader can brag about. From a prized pony to a working horse. If he knew it was going to end like this, he would’ve made himself an idiot like Bill. Others would call him names but at least he would be able rest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John didn’t know the area they stopped at, he was riding completely blind to get as far away from the camp as he could. To be sure no one send by Dutch would find him, he pulled into the woods. It would be harder to look for him there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Old Boy slowed down and walked among the trees, carrying John into the unknown. With enough luck, they wouldn’t find a way back. He could use a vacation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rustling leaves above his head helped him calm down. He was still angry, but not as much, certainly not calm enough to get back yet. He wondered about returning tomorrow when Old Boy suddenly changed direction and moved to the side before getting spooked completely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John managed to hear a loud rattling sound before all he could hear were quick hoofbeats when Old Boy run away from a snake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Horses were strange sometimes. This one had no problem with people shooting at him, but he was scared of a snake while both of those things could kill him with the same ease.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before John calmed down his spooked horse, Old Boy took him into entirely different direction than they’re going to. Not that it was concerning since John didn’t have any destination in mind. The stallion finally stopped but he was still nervous. John spend some more time calming him down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the horse was finally calm, John looked around to find out where they were and how to get back to camp. He had no idea where was this place, he didn’t even see the end of the forest, but on one side of it there was more light than on the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He directed Old Boy that way and soon enough they had to stop again, right before a cliff. There wasn’t that much trees there, but they were growing far beyond the edge, spreading their branches everywhere and preventing anyone from seeing what was at the bottom. He saw the water, that’s for sure, but that wasn’t surprising. When John was looking straight ahead, he could see Pacific.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They trailed along the edge. John was hoping that will lead them out of the woods. It did to some extent. They stumbled upon a rocky wall near which the ground was significantly dropping. Curious, John dismounted and keeping a hand on the wall, he took a few steps down through the bush. A path. Narrow and steep but he could walk on it. If he leave a horse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stay,” he ordered. Old Boy flicked his ears towards John and as if nothing happened, he bend his head to feed on the grass growing there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John followed the path, plastered to the wall behind him and looking at the sights that were being revealed to him with each step and which trees covered before. The clear water was more visible now, John felt the smell of salt in the air and the breeze on his face. When he pushed the last branch aside, a bay appeared in front of him, impossible to see from the cliff, and noticing it from the water wasn’t easy either. It was separated from the deep ocean by two belts of big and small rocks growing from the water, creating a beautiful, shallow lagoon, and few steps further, a gate to the depth of the ocean, where the water was so dark it was impossible to see the bottom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow” John gasped amazed and went even lower.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The path slowly became more wide and the ground was replaced by rocks that on the very bottom turned into yellow sand. This whole place looked like a paradise. John looked around fascinated, he couldn’t believe he discovered this on accident. If it wasn’t for one rattlesnake, he wouldn’t even know about this place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not wanting to get his boots wet, John walked on the rocks, staring at everything. What he couldn’t see while standing on the path, was that the bay was hidden under a ceiling of a small grotto. He was on the top just few minutes earlier. The trees were growing on the whole lengths of the ceiling, hiding this place from people.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John moved more towards the center of the bay, having no idea where to look first. He needed to remember that place to come back to it later. He had no idea how long the gang will stay in this area but this bay was a perfect place to hide and rest from all the work, from the gang, from Dutch and his expectations.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stopped exactly in the middle of the first belt of rocks. Water washed his boots from time to time but John was too amazed to bother. He felt like he was standing in the border of two worlds, one was like taken from a dream, the other straight from a nightmare, his nightmare to be exact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Usually he would never get this close to a deep water but he couldn’t stop himself this time. Both sides of the bay were equally breathtaking in their own way, and he wanted to look at them from up-close. If he only draw better, he would try to put them on the paper, otherwise nobody would believe him he found that place. He wouldn’t be surprised to find that no other human was ever here. He couldn’t see any signs of people’s presence, only fishes swimming in the shallow waters and seagulls screeching in the sky. In some places he could see some crabs but other than that, the bay was empty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The moment he thought about lack of people, he felt someone’s eyes on himself. The hair on his neck instantly stood up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Surprised, he turned towards the path but no one was there. Same at the top of the cliff, he saw first handed that the trees there were too thick for anyone to see through them. Just in case, he checked the grotto as well, maybe he missed someone, it was easy to hide in a shadow, but no matter how hard John was starring, he saw no one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The feeling of being watched wasn’t passing, if anything, it became stronger. John put the hand on the revolver, ready for an attack. With each second it didn’t happen, he was becoming more nervous. He hated situations like that, he would rather know at who he’ll be shooting. Or from where he would be shot at.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nothing happened during another few seconds. John was ready to admit it was all in his head when he suddenly felt a strong hit to the back. The wave that collided with him wasn’t big or strong enough to knock him off his feet, but with all the distraction from being watched it made him lose his balance which on slippery stones could’ve ended only one way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>John waved his hands to fall to the shallow water but it was already too late. He fell to his back and landed into deep water. Another wave pushed him into the rocks he just fell off. He tried to cling to them when he crashed into them, but he couldn’t hold his grasp, his fingernails slipped on something slimy and the wave was already taking John deeper into the ocean.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He managed to stuck his head on the surface for a moment and take a breath, but water quickly covered it again. Nothing he was doing was bringing him any closer to the surface. He could see the rays of sun slipping under, he reached his hands towards them and kicked his feet to swim. He didn’t move even for an inch and the light was getting harder to see.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He deserved it. He wanted peace, now he will have it forever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes closed on their own, his lungs were burning. Before he lost consciousness completely, he felt someone grabbing him by the arm and tugging him upwards.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So there was someone there, he thought before his mind was consumed by emptiness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John woke up due to a burning pain in his lungs. He quickly drew a deep breath and propped himself on his elbows, coughing out the swallowed and breathed in water in which he was still laying but fortunately it was a shallow one this time. Coughing helped only a little, the lungs were still burning but at least he was alive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to die anyway?” he heard a question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John quickly turned and stood up, looking right at the smiling man who, few steps away, was half-lying on one of the rocks separating the bay from the ocean. What caught John’s attention first was that the man was naked, at least from waist up, that was the only part of the man’s body he could see, the rest was hidden behind the rock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What the hell?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you… saved me?” John asked confused. He still didn’t know how could he have missed someone being in the bay. Unless the man was swimming. That would explain why he was partially or completely undressed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to thank me,” the man assured and started at John curiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was going to say ‘Thank you’ but since the man was insisting…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You always walk around with no clothes?” he asked bluntly. It’s not that he hadn’t had any manners but if anyone is walking like that, they has to expect questions like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t like them as much as you do,” the man simple answered. John had no idea what he meant by that. “Besides, clothes only get in the way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John nodded. “Okay.” He had no idea what else to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’re both looking at each other, as if trying to figure out what the other one was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does all human walk so close to the water when they don’t know how to swim?” the stranger asked suddenly. He had a nice voice, deep, gravely, but not as raspy as John’s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John got flustered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just me,” he stated and came slightly closer to get a better look at his savior. He had some weird drawings on his left shoulder. An eagle surrounded by a strange patterns that stretched through all of his arm. “I’m a fool like that. I got distracted a little, otherwise I had everything under control.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I noticed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John shivered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you was the one watching me.” So it wasn’t only in his head. But, to be honest, he would rather have had hallucinations than someone watching him secretly. It was never a good thing. “I wasn’t wrong sensing someone. Why was you watching me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Only thieves and weirdos stared at him usually. The stranger fitted the second group. At first glance he seemed completely normal but John couldn’t help the feeling that there was something wrong with the man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was curious who is snooping around,” the man explained. He looked older than John, with short light hair and blue eyes filled with curiosity and nothing else. “I’ve never seen a human here before.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I found this place accidently,” John admitted and took another step towards the man who didn’t react, he just stared. “Where was you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There.” The man pointed behind himself, at the ocean. “I was swimming.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In the ocean, just like that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John had no idea what could be in someone’s head to make them risk like that. He wasn’t even in the open ocean just a moment ago and he almost drowned, he couldn’t imagine anyone swimming in it for fun. Besides, doesn’t people have swimming pools for that? Or closed bodies of water like lakes?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man shrugged. “I like swimming. You, on the other hand, you should avoid it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, I’m not going to swim any time soon,” John assured. “I was lucky you were there Mr?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John didn’t introduce himself but he was curious of the name of a man who swim for fun in the dangerous ocean.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you wouldn’t be able to pronounce my name,” the stranger told him. “It’s completely different language than yours.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me try.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He spoke a little bit of Spanish thanks to Javier. He also knew some Latin words and even German and French ones. Whatever the country the man was from, it couldn’t have had a very hard language since the stranger was fluent with English.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can call me Arthur,” the man suggested. “I like that name.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Strange. John was still getting closer to the man, not being able to tell what was it exactly, but the closer he was getting, the more things about the way the man looked or even stood was bothering him. He closely watched stranger’s – Arthur’s – face, looking for anything unusual, some hidden intentions but the eyes that were staring back at him were warm and friendly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur blinked suddenly, probably for the first time since John was looking at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” The atmosphere was becoming heavy and more eerie with each passing moment. “Well, thanks for the help, Arthur.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was liking this conversation less and less, with no idea what is the reason for it. Arthur wasn’t acting that strange, John saw weirder behaviors, people screaming for no reason or hitting themselves, but that didn’t change the fact that the man was just strange. That would explain his weird behavior, way of saying things and the unusual aura that was surrounding him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re welcome.” The man was still acting friendly and scary at the same time. Despite that, John came closer, still trying to see what was missing. Something that would explain the uneasiness he was feeling. But the man looked normal. Normal face, normal eyes, hair, lips, shoulders, chest, hands. What was wrong?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You swim here often?” John asked before he could stop himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I live here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In this bay?” Arthur nodded. “Where is your house then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He would notice a building, a shack or a tent when he was looking around earlier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here?” the man responded uncertainly, as if he didn’t understand the question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another step.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you live here alone?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Someone sick in the head never lives alone, they always have someone to take care of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t like each other like humans do,” Arthur explained. “Unless we’re mated.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We? Humans? Mated? What was this man talking about.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who are you?” John asked the most important question that was in the back of his head this whole time. “Are you crazy or something? Why are you talking about humans like you are not one of them?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur blinked again and John was finally close enough to notice what was wrong. The eyelids closed from the side, and they were black. They didn’t retract.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John took a step back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I’m not,” Arthur revealed and when he opened his mouth again, instead of normal teeth, the long and sharp fangs came out from the gums. Dozens of those teeth, sticking close side by side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John almost stumbled when he backed away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur uncrossed his arms and put one of his two palms on the rock, gripping it with claws that were at the end of every finger connected with a weird membrane. He did the same with the second palm and lifted himself on the rock he was leaning on. Instead of legs, the seemingly endless body covered with scales emerged from the water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the… What are…” John stuttered, too afraid to take his eyes of Arthur to check where he was going while trying to escape him. No, not Arthur. He could call a human with this name, not a monster this thing was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The creature slipped from the rock, it’s long tail followed like a snake, the dark blue scales sparkling in the sun with various colors. John tried to get away from this beauty while looking for his gun at the same time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But his belt wasn’t where it was supposed to be. The monster was still crawling towards him in the shallow water, staring at John with its black eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I took your gun,” the creature explained and looked at something behind John who was too afraid to do the same. “I didn’t want you to do something stupid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something stupid? He would only do what he needed. He would kill that thing before it could hurt him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was backing away faster until he touched the sand with his feet and he kicked something with the heel of his leg. The gun belt! But could he grab it fast enough? He took one more step back to not have to turn around for it and quickly snatched the belt from the ground with a trembling hands. The monster was still following him, crawling on the ground like something straight out of hell. John knew that if he allows it to come closer, he wouldn’t be able to get alive out of this. Those fangs would rip his throat with no problem.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled the revolver from the holster and aimed steadily at the creature. His hands weren’t shaking anymore, he thought of it as of any other situation when he had to use a gun. Before he even put the finger on the trigger, the loud bang was heard coming from the top of the cliff.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The creature looked that way startled before quickly turning away. Moving faster than it should with no legs, it dashed through the water of the bay, squeezed itself between two rocks and despaired in the deeper waters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite the instinct telling him to run, John acted stupid and followed with a gun ready to shoot. He jumped on one of the rocks and watched the water in front of himself. He only managed to notice a wide tailfin vanishing into water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What the hell?</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. It or He?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John returned to camp in the evening, spending rest of the day wandering around, not knowing if what happened to him was real or was it just hallucinations of a drowning man. For some time he was sure he never woke up after falling into water and all this was just some strange dream preceding death.</p><p>But the death never came and the water in his boots was reminding him that he was in the water at least for a while. He still couldn’t believe in what happened to him. What he encountered.</p><p>When he closed his eyes, John could still see a mouth full of sharp teeth and eyes black as starless night looking at him with hunger. He was still seeing sparkling scales of a long fishy tail with a fin wider than his chest, and claws like in an eagle’s talons.</p><p>It was still making him shiver with fear whenever he was seeing it in his memory.</p><p>It was impossible he imagined this. His imagination wasn’t that good, that’s probably why his drawings, no matter how much he worked on them, still looked like shit. Maybe brain works differently after it goes blank in the water, but all of this still seemed too real to be just hallucination.</p><p>“Real, good joke,” John mumbled to himself, getting close to camp.  </p><p>Because no matter how real it looked and how deep it was stuck in his memory now, existence of a creature that’s place was in the mythology was just absurd. John witnessed many strange things in his life, sometimes they seemed unexplained but in the end, there was always some explanation. The world was entering twenty century, people stopped believing in magic and monsters a long time ago, at least those who knew how to read and learned something about the world.</p><p>Monsters weren’t real. Same with mythological creatures. And yet he could swore he saw a siren just few hours ago. Or maybe it was merman? He was sure sirens supposed to be half people half birds.  </p><p>Arthur.</p><p>That’s how it introduced itself. Because its real name was too hard to pronounce. Maybe because it was from Greek. That’s were sirens originated.</p><p>Strange creature. Unbelievable. So human and yet it was a monster that planned to eat John after a short chat.</p><p>If all of it even happened.</p><p>John put his horse among other mounts and took the saddle off before quickly rushing towards his tent. He hoped it was ready, maybe Miss Grimshaw was as angry as Dutch and tossed John’s stuff to the river. He wouldn’t be surprised.</p><p>Thankfully the tent was where it always was, near Dutch’s own tent. The best gunslinger needs to be close to their leader. John wasn’t that much happy about that right now because that meant Dutch may want to talk and the older man was probably still angry.</p><p>But Dutch’s tent was closed so John avoided another argument that others weren’t eager to start either. He could only feel their gazes on himself, watching him from different parts of the camp.</p><p>“We was worried.”</p><p>John jumped startled when he heard Charles, as always sneaking up behind everyone. How could he be so good at that?</p><p>“I needed to calm down,” John explained putting his saddle in its place before turning to his friend. It was nice to know there was at least one person who cared about his absent.</p><p>“We all did,” Charles pointed out and glanced towards Dutch’s tent. “I think Dutch calmed down a little as well.”</p><p>“How is Sean?” John changed the subject. He didn’t want to talk about Dutch, he was still feeling sick when he was thinking about disappointment in his eyes.</p><p>“Unconscious but alive.” John nodded with relief when he didn’t hear any worry in Charles voice. “It’s the best state he can be, he’s not yapping constantly.”</p><p>John couldn’t stop a smile from appearing on his face.   </p><p>“Ain’t that true,” he agreed amused. “It’s good he’s going to live.”</p><p>Sean could be annoying at times but he was a good kid, he didn’t deserve to die so young. He didn’t deserve to lost half of his knee either but that was something they couldn’t fix.</p><p>Charles was smiling at him when a sudden worry painted itself on his face.</p><p>“You okay, John? You’re awfully pale.”</p><p>You would be too if you met a sea monster, John thought to himself.</p><p>“I’m fine,” he assured and smiled to confirm that. “I’m just tired, and this situation with Sean and moving…”</p><p>Charles patted him on the shoulder.</p><p>“I understand. Everything will be alright, John.”</p><p>John wasn’t so sure of that but he still nodded, watching his friend getting back to the main fire from where he probably came.</p><p>“Yes, John, everything will be fine,” he heard once again behind his back, but this time the voice wasn’t so friendly. John sighed really tired. “Do don’t you worry your head about anything. Just like you’re doing for a while now.”</p><p>“I already apologized, Dutch,” John reminded their leader and faced him. He didn’t want to argue so he acted submissive. “I’m just not in the best shape right at the moment. I can’t help it.”</p><p>“Try harder,” Dutch told him, getting uncomfortably close. John stopped himself from rolling his eyes. As always only he was supposed to try as hard as he could.</p><p>After Dutch’s words he carved to get back to that bay, even if there was monster lurking around.</p><p>“I’m trying,” he swore. Sometimes you just can’t go any further. “I’m not a miracle worker, Dutch.”</p><p>“And yet you never had such a problems before,” Dutch noticed in a cold voice. John grimaced. “We’re going to lay low for a few days. No robberies, scouting. You’ll have time to <em> rest </em>.”</p><p>“Yes, Dutch.”</p><p>Dutch watched him for a few more seconds before he returned to his tent. John let a sigh of relief and retired to his own tent. He lit up the oil lamp standing on the table, get rid of his guns, boots and satchel from which he pulled out his journal. He laid on the bed.</p><p>A guard from a bank stared at John from the last filled page, he was watching the man for a few days before the robbery. The man wasn’t looking like in real life but John put as much effort into his portrait as he could.</p><p>He turned the page and started writing.</p><p>
  <em> I encountered something strange today. We had to run from the last camp because the robbery went bad – supposedly my fault – and Sean lost half of his knee. We were planning to move anyway but we weren’t supposed to be chased by the law. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> We run to the coast, I don’t even know where exactly but close to the ocean that I won’t ever step into. Not that I had plans like that before. I swear I met a strange sea creature there, a merman. It called itself ARTHUR, saved my life. It seemed nice but strange, until it revealed what it was. </em>
</p><p><em> I never saw anything like that before, I’m still not sure if it was real. Maybe I just died. It was the strangest thing that ever happened to me, and kind of fascinating. Who knows, maybe I discovered new species of an </em> <strike><em> human </em></strike> <em> animal.  </em></p><p>
  <em> I kind of want to see it again. </em>
</p><p>John tried to draw the creature as well, at least its tail. His poor sketch didn’t show how the creature looked like, not even one bit but at least he had something that added to the writing.</p><p>Satisfied he closed the journal and put it under the pillow before closing his eyes. He fell asleep in few seconds, because no matter what Dutch thought, he really was tired.</p><p>The last day still seemed like a dream in the morning. If it weren’t for the entry in the journal he checked right after waking up, he would swear he dreamed all of it. But what he had written was clearly talking about a sea monster and the drawing, while incomplete and very poorly drawn, was another proof.</p><p>John sighed and rubbed his still sleepy eyes.</p><p>“What a crazy day.”</p><p>He didn’t rest that much. Weeks of hard work couldn’t be slept off in just one night, but at least he slept through it all and didn’t wake up at the break of dawn.</p><p>He waited a moment to woke up completely and then he took all of his stuff and exited the tent. The whole gang was awake already, some of the members were working, girls were cleaning and Sean was sitting by the fire with his leg propped on a log.</p><p>John approached him.</p><p>“Hey,” he greeted the kid. Sean looked at him with a happy smile, only slightly filled with pain.</p><p>“Johnny Boy!” Sean shouted with enthusiasm. “You finally dragged your ass from the bed, eh? What a times that a cripple wakes up earlier than a healthy man.”</p><p>“I needed to rest.”</p><p>“After what happened recently, I’m not surprised,” Sean admitted and patted the place beside himself. John took the invitation and sit down, shocked that Sean isn’t even slightly angry at him. “Some fucked up last couple of days, eh?”</p><p>John smiled.</p><p>“Yeah.” He looked at Sean’s leg. “Listen, I’m sorry for what happened.”</p><p>“Don’t worry about it, pal! Could’ve happened to anyone!”</p><p>“But it happened to you.”</p><p>Sean only shrugged his shoulders.</p><p>“I’m alive,” he reminded in chirpy voice. “It could’ve been worse, I could’ve got shot in the head. Good thing them hostages was laying on the ground.”</p><p>Sean laughed cheerfully and his good mood spread to John. </p><p>“Still, this shouldn’t have happened.”</p><p>He was actually feeling guilty about it, even though he knew it wasn’t his fault.</p><p>“No blown knee is going to stop amazing Sean MaGuire!” Sean announced dramatically but at the same time very seriously. “We Irish are tough son of a bitches to kill! Like Scottish! You should know that, we’re practically brothers!”</p><p>“I’m only half Scottish.”</p><p>“Half-brother is still a brother,” Sean noticed and elbowed him playfully. “What’s important is that our hate towards English is equally strong. Yours is even stronger, because it also comes from American part of you!”</p><p>They both laughed at that.</p><p>“You sure you don’t blame me?” John asked to be sure. “You should be.”</p><p>“It’s just a leg, I have one more.” Sean leaned towards him and continued in whisper. “Besides, girls are taking very good care of me. It’s like having your own hospital of nurses. And I’m getting morphine. Do you know how good that stuff is? You should try one day!”</p><p>“One day,” John agreed amused and put his hand on Sean’s shoulder. “I’m glad you’re okay.”</p><p>“Before you all notice I’ll be coming back to robbing with you,” Sean promised. “I’ll be limping during heists.”</p><p>“I’ll remind you this soon.”</p><p>John stood up and returned to his tent, motivated to sit there all day. Sean wasn’t angry at him but this short visit to the camp main area told him other’s weren’t as generous with their forgiveness. Especially Dutch who watched him like a hawk from the bench by his tent, waiting for even a smallest slip up so he could jump at John again.</p><p>He tried to read some book for a while to not look lazy but he quickly noticed it was useless. He couldn’t focus, not only because someone was constantly glancing at him but also because he was returning to yesterday with his mind.</p><p>A merman. A god damn merman. He knew what he saw and yet…</p><p>John tossed the book on the ground and jumped out of bed, snatching his saddle from the post in front of the tent. He needed to make sure, to see this creature again. Otherwise he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it and for the rest of his life he would keep wondering if it was just his imagination or a strange reality.</p><p>He remembered the way to the forest, it was harder to find the path to the bay but he found it eventually. He left Old Boy in the same spot as yesterday and slowly walked down, already looking for the monster.</p><p>The lagoon was empty or it just seemed that way. Step after step he was getting lower until he reached the water. His boots were already ruined by salt so he stepped into the bay without feeling bad about them. John headed towards the first rock belt.</p><p>The whole bay was still amazing to him, water had almost turquoise color in this place but the waves constantly crashing into the rocks were reminding him about the abyss of the ocean waiting on the other side, with a creature from nightmares lurking there somewhere. </p><p>John walked uncertainty towards the belt when something crunched under his boot. He stepped aside immediately and bend down to pick up something from the water. Fish bones, big. It didn’t mean anything yet, a stupid seagull or a crab could’ve left it there.</p><p>He tossed the remains of someone’s dinner back into water and approached the rocks, the same one merman slipped from yesterday before coming at John. He crouched, getting wet to the waist right away, and looked closely at the boulders until under certain angel he noticed a metallic blink.</p><p>John’s heart started racing in his chest when he found the proof of the monster’s existence. Carefully he touched the place that sparkled and when he took his hand back, there was a scale on his finger, big as is fingernail. It was sticky and transparent, with a bit of blue shade. When the light was falling on it, John could see a rainbow.</p><p>There was more of them, he noticed them now. Some of them were even on the sand near the rock. John shook the one from his finger, draw his revolver and climbed on the belt.</p><p>It wasn’t a dream or hallucination, this merman was real. And it was here somewhere, it had to be.</p><p>John stared at the ocean in front of him, trying to notice the creature but the water in this part of the bay was so dark he couldn’t see anything, even just under surface, and rest of the water was blocked from view by another rocks. Maybe he was standing there for nothing, maybe monster run away for good after he heard gunshot the other day.</p><p>Beside, why would it come back to the place that wasn’t safe? The merman couldn’t know John wouldn’t get back with other people to catch it. On Arthur’s place, he would stay far away from a dangerous place.</p><p>“And yet here you are, you idiot,” he pointed to himself.</p><p>He was basically giving himself to that creature on a silver plate, asking for being eaten. Nothing devoured him yet only because even a stupid monster was smarter than him. </p><p>But John just couldn’t help himself, he was curious. Not knowing would keep him awake all the time. He needed to find out if it was real. Apparently it was, scales were pointing at it but until he could see the merman again, he couldn’t be sure.</p><p>He walked on the belt, being careful to not get swept by another wave, because this time no one would save him. He didn’t even know why the merman did it in the first place.</p><p>John was placing his feet carefully on every rock, but he still slipped few times and almost lost his balance. When he straightened himself after another incident like that, something grabbed his leg out of nowhere. He screeched like a little girl and fell on his back, right into the shallow water of the lagoon.</p><p>John didn’t even stand up but rather aimed his revolver in front of himself, but there was no hungry merman attacking him. It was there, leaning over the rock John just fell from, but it was laughing and didn’t look scary at all. He would took it for a human again if he didn’t know where the fish tail was starting on its body.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself, it was too easy,” the monster explained itself. It looked a little nervous with gun being pointed at it, partially hiding in the water but the creature wasn’t as scared as yesterday after the gunshot. In fact, it was looking curiously at John. “You’re back.”</p><p>“And you’re still here,” John noticed. It was strange to talk with this thing like with a human when he knew what it was. He felt like talking to a bear.</p><p>“I told you, I live here,” the merman reminded and shifted anxiously, looking straight into the barrel of a gun. “You can put it away, I’m not going to eat you.”</p><p>“Just like you wasn’t trying to eat me yesterday?”</p><p>John could still feel the fear from that moment. He was charged at by a grizzly, attacked by a pack of wolves but nothing scared him more than a creature from the abyss that was slowly crawling towards him the other day. </p><p>The merman rolled it eyes. Like a human. Those humans behaviors were making it hard for John to see this thing just as a monster.</p><p>“If I wanted to eat you, I would’ve done that instead of saving you.” It… made sense but John still would rather not risk it. “I saved your life, the littlest you can do is not to take mine.”</p><p>It was a very bad idea, he didn’t know what this creature was capable of. It could as well jump at John the moment he would lower his gun. He saw how fast it was despite lack of feet. How could he be so sure that it wouldn’t attack when it see the chance?</p><p>Because it didn’t do that yesterday, John’s common sense pointed out. It had a perfect opportunity to kill John when he fell into the water in which he was completely helpless. Even a great swimmer would not have a chance with a creature living in the water. If Arthur wanted to hurt him, John wouldn’t have even woke up after he lost consciousness.</p><p>He shouldn’t trust that thing, after all the monster was crawling towards him for some reason even though it must’ve known John was scared. He had no idea why it did that or why it showed up again. John shouldn’t even care, he should shoot that thing in the head, drag it up the cliff and show to the world. He could get a lot of money and the gang would be rich. Maybe they would finally be able to stop robbing and stay in one place. </p><p>No more orders, no more working for everyone else. He could finally rest and do whatever he liked.</p><p>John slowly put the revolver back to the holster, watching creature’s every movement. It relaxed after few seconds.</p><p>“Thank you,” it said with a smile and moved, pulling rest of his body out of the water.</p><p>John’s hand reached his gun again.</p><p>“Don’t come any closer,” he warned, brushing the handle of the gun with his fingers. “You get of those rocks and you’re dead.”</p><p>Arthur watched him, deciding if John is bluffing or not. But it wasn’t a bluff and the merman must’ve sensed that because it just laid more comfortably.</p><p>“If that’s what you want,” he answered unaffected. “I’m not going to hurt you so you don’t have to be afraid. You can even come closer. If you won’t hurt me too.”</p><p>John would trust that thing only when it would be dead and truly wouldn’t be able to do anything.</p><p>“I would rather keep my distance,” John informed it and only shifted to the right, but did not come closer. “So what even are you? A merman?”</p><p>“Aren’t you smart.” The merman grinned. “That’s what they call us.”</p><p>“Us?”</p><p>“I’m not the only one, but like I said, we don’t really like each other’s company,” the creature explained openly and turned on his belly, rising the tail in the air.</p><p>Without panic from yesterday, John could take a better look at the tail. Even at first the merman seemed big but now he was really seeing its length. It had to be at least nine feet long, longer than John was tall and most of it was just tail.</p><p>Wide in the hips, it was getting thinner the closer to the ragged fin it was. Scales almost melted with the human skin at the waist and they had different colors, darker blue on the top of the tail and lighter on the bottom, like a cloudless sky.</p><p>Scales were sparkling in the sun just like yesterday and John had to admit again, they were pretty, no matter how scary the owner was.</p><p>John also noticed something that he missed yesterday – additional fins. Two bigger ones located slightly under hips, rested loosely on the sides of the body. Second ones, smaller and slightly sticking out were near the end of the tail.</p><p>He remembered the paintings of merpeople from the books. None of the painted woman, because they were always woman, didn’t have such a tail. Instead they were smooth, not even half as colorful as the one he was looking at right now. He never saw such tails even in common fish they were sometimes catching for the gang. Such bright colors and weird fins were only seen on tropical fish, not on a common sturgeons or rainbow trout that were living in American rivers.</p><p>John would need to add some things to his drawing.</p><p>“Why did you saved me?” It was strange, weren’t merpeople killing humans?</p><p>“Because you needed help.”</p><p>As it was explaining everything.</p><p>“Yeah, but why do you care?,” he kept asking. Arthur blinked with his strange black eyelids.</p><p>“I’m a nice person.”</p><p>“You’re not a person.”</p><p>“That wasn’t nice,” Arthur pointed out with a chuckle, lazily waving his tail. Water crashing into rocks was washing it up sometimes, not letting it get dry. John assumed it would be bad. “I don’t know why I shouldn’t have helped you if you fell into water and you can’t swim.”</p><p>“You should’ve ate me,” John suggested, not knowing anymore what to think about the creature.</p><p>“I don’t eat people,” it answered simply. It said in such a nonchalant way like it was just admitting to not eating apples. “At least those I don’t find already dead.”</p><p>A monster with rules and morality. Wonderful.</p><p>“So you eat corpses,” John guessed, already feeling disgusted. “Someone drowns and you eat them.”</p><p>“It would be a shame to waste perfectly good meat, wouldn’t it?” it asked innocently.</p><p>“That’s disgusting.”</p><p>“Said a human who has no problem with eating fish or other animals.”</p><p>“Exactly, animals, you eat humans.”</p><p>“Dead humans,” it addressed again, like that was making it any better. “I don’t know why it’s wrong to you. After all, I’m not even human to you, so what’s the problem?”</p><p>John wished he could answer that. Wolves or other animals ate humans. He saw vultures eating humans to the bones all the time, same with coyotes. The sole fact that something may be eating humans wasn’t scary. What was scary was that something so similar to humans, capable of talking, was eating humans.</p><p>Arthur was a monster, there was no doubt about that, but he was human enough that eating people by him was cannibalism to John.</p><p>It was really hard to look at him and see only one thing. On the one hand, a sea monster, on the other, a human being. John was sure he was going crazy. </p><p>“I’m not sure anymore,” he admitted confused. “You look like a human but you also look like a fish.”</p><p>No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t see only monster in Arthur, some new missing link between humans and fish. Maybe if hissed and screeched instead of talking, then even a human torso, head and hands wouldn’t distract him from a fact, that they didn’t belong to the same species.</p><p>But Arthur was talking. It wasn’t even a primitive speech, he talked like any other person that learned that from childhood, he was putting the accent in right places, used right words, he didn’t stutter even once. He knew what he wanted to say and his eyes weren’t blank or empty but full of emotions, so easy for John to read.</p><p>The longer John talked with him, watched him, the harder it was to call him a monster.</p><p>“I’m half-human,” Arthur noticed and god damn, he was right. “So we’re almost the same.”</p><p>“I’m not eating other humans.”</p><p>Arthur pointed his finger at John.</p><p>“But I bet you eat fish,” he said in an accusing tone and grinned. “So we’re even.”</p><p>John was surprised he actually chuckled. It was so absurd. He should kill the creature or just never come back to this place, not talk with it like with any other human. Joke with it.</p><p>After hearing John’s laugh, Arthur’s smile widen. He had a nice smile when he wasn’t using that other teeth.</p><p>“What’s your name?” merman asked suddenly, looking curious again.</p><p>“What it’s to you?” John wasn’t sure if he wanted to share his name with something like that.</p><p>“You know mine.”</p><p>“It’s made up.”</p><p>“Like every name,” he noticed and John couldn’t deny that because Arthur was right. Again.</p><p>“John,” he introduced himself. Arthur practically beamed at him. “John Marston.”</p><p>“John,” the merman repeated without any problem, tasting the name on his tongue. “John. I should’ve thought about a second name.”</p><p>“Why do you even need a name? It’s useless for you.”</p><p>“Wasn’t useless yesterday,” Arthur reminded proudly before confusion appeared on his face. “Why did you get back? And get close to the water again if you can’t swim.”</p><p>“I told you already, I’m a fool,” John explained and found enough courage to get a little closer when Arthur was looking elsewhere. He had no idea if merman noticed anything. “I needed to make sure that yesterday wasn’t a dream.”</p><p>“And?”</p><p>It would be easier for John if it turned out to be a dream. Strange, but harmless. Reality wouldn’t let to forget about itself that easily. There was no way he could get back to normal life when he found about creature from books. If on Arthur’s place was a living mammoth or a dinosaur that became popular recently, John wouldn’t be able to forget about them either, and those creatures couldn’t even talk. Or at least that’s what they all thought.</p><p>“You still seem so unreal,” John admitted honestly. He was looking at Arthur and he still wasn’t sure it’s not a hallucination.</p><p>“Come closer.”</p><p>John went tense in a second and reached to his holster.</p><p>“I don’t need to be eaten to have a proof.”</p><p>“I told you, I’m not going to eat you,” Arthur promised. He didn’t look aggressive but you could never know with unknown creatures. It was easier to spot anger on a bear. “I’ll give you a proof it’s not a dream.”</p><p>John made a lot of stupid things in his life, small or big ones. One more wasn’t a problem and like an idiot, he stepped closer to the creature that just few minutes ago admitted to eating humans. If he dies here, it would be entirely his fault.</p><p>He was holding his hand on the gun which was making Arthur nervous but none of them gave up. John finally stopped only slightly beyond merman’s reach, carefully watching his every move. Water in this place was deeper than in the middle of the lagoon, it reached John’s knee which was making every move harder. If he wanted to escape fast, he wouldn’t make it. That’s why he needed to be ready for everything and use his reflex as gunslinger like during a duel with other people.</p><p>He never lost any.</p><p>Reflex wasn’t needed when Arthur, watching him all the time just like John was watching him, slowly dipped his hand in the water and tossed it in the air, right onto John’s face. He closed his eyes on instinct and when he opened them panicked, sure he was going to get devoured, once again he didn’t see sharp teeth but a warm smile.</p><p>“You still seeing me?”</p><p>John relaxed and took his hand from the gun to weep the water from his face.</p><p>“Holy shit, you’re real.”</p><p>Arthur smiled again and blinked. Black eyelids for a split second covered blue eyes, giving the merman his terrifying look. John shivered but didn’t take a step back. Instead, he used the fact he was closer to the creature than ever before.</p><p>John was standing so close he could see freckles on merman’s face, thin veins right under the skin, scars on his chin and a two day stubble. He lowered his gaze to Arthur’s hands, the claw on the end of each finger that were connected with membrane. He wondered how it would feel to touch it, or scales that from up close, layered perfectly one against other, looked even more beautiful than single ones he found earlier.</p><p>But John wasn’t that stupid. He would only reach his hand towards the merman and he could say goodbye. To his hand, not the merman.</p><p>“Took you long enough,” Arthur jokes. “But you mentioned you’re a fool so I can forgive you.”</p><p>John laughed again. It was getting disturbing, it shouldn’t have been happening. He was supposed to just come back here, find out if the merman was real and leave, not try to be friends with a cannibal.</p><p>He need to think, without the creature’s presence that was messing with his head with his sole existence.</p><p>John slowly took the step back and then another. Arthur looked at him confused.</p><p>“I need to go,” John explained even though he didn’t have to justify his leave. “I’m needed somewhere else.”</p><p>Maybe gang was laying low right now but that didn’t mean there was no work to be done in the camp.</p><p>“But you’ll be back?” Arthur asked when John was getting away. His voice was full of hope. John felt like a bastard for leaving.</p><p>“Why? You lonely?”</p><p>He should’ve used different tone, there was no reason to be cruel but it was just a damn creature, more animal than human, no matter how similar it was to people.</p><p>“A little,” he surprised John. “Usually we’re not social.”</p><p>So why you are, John wanted to ask but he didn’t.</p><p>“You’re looking for a friend in the wrong person, partner,” John informed him, still retreating towards the path. “If I were you I wouldn’t show myself to people. Someone else could shoot you in the head and you would end as a part of some museum.”</p><p>“Museum?” Arthur repeated, like he didn’t know that word.</p><p>John didn’t explain him what it meant and flee fast enough to not stay too much longer but not fast enough to look scared.</p><p>He could already feel he would be back. John wasn’t some scientist, he didn’t need to know anything more about the creature beside what he already knew. He could leave it here and never bother with it again, but the fascination Arthur stirred inside him was too strong to ignore. He discovered something amazing and unique. He liked it, he wanted to know more about this merman, even if just for his own satisfaction. He just need to stop sympathize with him. Just like he wasn’t friends with a dog or a horse, he wasn’t going to be friends with a monster, no matter how human.</p><p>What next, friendship with a wild cat?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A Short Trip to Town</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John was in his tent, laying on his cot, staring at the roof. Apart from going out to take a piss two times, he was there since yesterday. He liked to think it was because he wanted to be alone, but truth to be told, he was just hiding from Dutch.</p><p>Leader was still angry at him and he was very open about it every time he spotted John. The others… well, John wasn’t outside long enough after his visit to Arthur to notice what they thought of him, so there was a chance nobody was angry at him anymore like Sean wasn’t, but getting scolded by Dutch again, feeling his disappointment wasn’t wort checking it or spending some time with his friends, so John just stayed in his tent, far away from judging or pitying looks.</p><p>It was quite boring to just lay there. Usually he had no problem with finding something to do but because of the merman swimming somewhere in the ocean not so far away, John’s usual forms of entertainment were useless. He cut himself two times before he left a piece of branch alone and stopped carving into it. He still couldn’t focus on the book so it just laid on the chair, waiting to be picked up at better times.</p><p>At least he cleaned up his gun, that didn’t require that much focus, for years now he was able to do it with his eyes closed. But that didn’t mean he was thinking about cleaning while doing it. Arthur was on his mind constantly, the merman latched himself to John’s brain and wasn’t planning to let go anytime soon. It was hard not to think all the time about strange creature you never thought existed before.</p><p>John was sure that seeing it again would make things easier but it only made everything worse. His curiosity about Arthur only increased, he wasn’t yet satisfied with what he knew and it was clear he wouldn’t be for a long time. There was still a lot he didn’t know about him, where he came from, how he learned English, how old was he, how long can he stay on land, how is he breathing underwater, why they live separately, why this one is sociable and friendly?</p><p>John had a lot of questions and the only way to get answer for them was to ask Arthur directly. That’s why he was going to visit him again. For science purposes. But not today. He was probably already suspicious with leaving the camp two days in a row, he was going to stay here for today so the others wouldn’t think he was betraying them or something. And so Arthur couldn’t think he was desperate to meet him again or to be his friend.</p><p>Friend. It was still funny to him that such a creature was looking for a friend among humans. Why Arthur even thought it was a good idea to approach one? Humans were awful towards unknown, the merman was lucky he wasn’t killed yet, by John or someone else he decided to get close to, if he ever did until now, until John. Was he that interested in humans to risk his own life? Guess John couldn’t blame him since he was equally interested in the merman.</p><p>He wondered how often it was that a merman got close to people. Probably not very often since nobody believed in them for hundreds of years now and John never heard of one, only read about them in books. The only close encounters must’ve been the ones when merpeople were killing humans without a trace, no wonder there was no one to write about those. John was probably the first person since a long time that survived the meeting with a merman and was able to tell the tale. Not that he was going to, nobody would believe him anyway.</p><p>John updated his drawing while staying at his tent, since he had nothing better to do and he was thinking about Arthur anyway. It was awful as always but he was kind of proud of it. It didn’t show the true beauty of the creature but it was a good enough attempt. Hosea would probably draw it better. John wished he could draw like his father. Maybe one day, if he practice long enough, like, half of his life.</p><p>A knock to a post holding the tent brought him from his thoughts. John sat up and looked towards the flaps he kept closed for some privacy.</p><p>“Come in,” he said and waited for his guest. He hoped it’s not Dutch. It probably wasn’t, Dutch never knocked when he was angry.</p><p>It was Hosea who entered the room, looking around curiously before his gaze landed on John who just waited for his father to spoke first.</p><p>“How are you, John?” Hosea asked eventually and put away a book that was laying on the chair so he could sit on it. The older man went through the book while waiting for the answer.</p><p>“Fine,” John replied and shrugged his shoulder. “And you? I heard you cough the other night.”</p><p>It sounded really nasty, like Hosea was choking on the air that was entering his lungs. It only lasted two or three minutes, but it was enough to scare John. He almost left the tent but then the coughing stopped and the camp was quiet again.</p><p>Hosea waved his hand dismissively, and that only worried John more. “Ah, don’t worry about me. It’s the price I pay for being old.”</p><p>“You’re not that old,” he noticed. He really hoped Hosea wasn’t sick and the coughing wouldn’t repeat itself. Dutch was their leader but they would be gone without Hosea. And John would miss him. That was the man that taught him how to read and write, taught him mathematic and hunting and more. He wouldn’t be the man he was now without Hosea’s influence.</p><p>“Why thank you, John, but don’t think I don’t remember you calling me old man just a week ago.”</p><p>John blushed and looked away.</p><p>“Yeah, sorry,” he murmured ashamed. Hosea chuckled which fortunately didn’t turn into coughing. John still didn’t like how raspy Hosea’s voice was when he laughed. It was worse than his own, and he had his thanks to smoking even two packs of cigarettes a day in the past.</p><p>“So… You sure you’re okay?” Hosea asked again and looked at him worried.</p><p>“Why wouldn’t I be?” John replied confused. He wasn’t still pale, wasn’t he? Arthur didn’t scare him again and he wasn’t that scared of him anymore anyway.</p><p>“You just sitting in your tent all day,” Hosea explained, still using that worried tone. Was sitting in a tent that worrying? “You didn’t even come out to eat.”</p><p>“I had few can of beans.”</p><p>John pointed at the empty cans he stored in the corner of the tent. Hosea looked at them unimpressed.</p><p>“A man can’t live on beans alone,” he pointed out, looking at John again.</p><p>“I won’t be sitting here forever;” John promised. He was going to go out eventually, just not now. “Just… till Dutch stop looking at me like I betrayed him.”</p><p>Sometimes he could still feel that look even through the walls of the tent. He knew he was probably just paranoid, that Dutch wasn’t staring at his tent every second of the day, but John couldn’t help but feel like he was. And even if he wasn’t the moment he would go out, Dutch would stare and judge. And John wasn’t ready for this again.</p><p>He was a coward.</p><p>“Then you’ll be sitting here for a week if not more.”</p><p>“That bad huh?”</p><p>If Dutch was still that angry, everything was pointing at the possibility of John not leaving his tent ever again. He wondered if he had enough food to last a week. Probably. The only problem was something to drink. He finished his last bottle of whisky last night and he was really thirsty now but he couldn’t go out, not with Dutch out there.</p><p>Death from dehydration it is then. </p><p>“He’ll come around, he always do, especially for his favorite son,” Hosea assured him and sat on the bed next to him. “It’ll just take time.”</p><p>He was aware of that but he wanted everything to be okay as fast as possible. He missed sitting with others, drinking and laughing together. Hell, he even missed that stupid gramophones Dutch had or him talking excitedly about Miller and his books. But it was still too early for the return of the last two and John wouldn’t be able to enjoy time with friends while having a very angry Dutch behind his back.</p><p>“I just don’t know what to do to make him less angry,” John admitted and sighed tiredly.</p><p>Usually saying sorry was enough and if not, then a thing or two placed in the loot box would make Dutch happy. Right now, John would have to singlehandedly rob a whole train or a Queen Victoria of England herself to conciliate Dutch. Just do something that would prove that John still cared about the gang and was a capable outlaw.</p><p>Too bad they were supposed to lay low, otherwise he would already be in town looking for something to give Dutch as a peace offering.</p><p>Hosea thought about his words, and John patiently waited for his advice. If anyone could help him right now, it was him. Nobody knew Dutch as good as Hosea. John was Dutch’s favorite son, but it was Hosea who was his closest friend.</p><p>“I say you do nothing.”</p><p>That wasn’t what John expected. He was hoping to get a real advice or to get something old and valuable from Hosea to offer Dutch as an olive branch. Do nothing? He was doing nothing for two days now and it didn’t make the situation any better!</p><p>“So I’m supposed to wait for him to forgive me?” he asked confused. Dutch wasn’t looking like someone willing to let go so far, with this pace, it could take weeks for the leader to forgive John. He was supposed to feel unwelcome in his own home for that long?</p><p>“He already forgave you, he’s just too stubborn to admit it.” That wasn’t making it any better. “It was a very dangerous situation that bank robbery. Sean wasn’t the only one who could’ve died, all of you could.”</p><p>“That’s the hazard of this job.”</p><p>They could die at any moment in their life, even traveling between camp and some town. But it was nice to know that Dutch was so angry because he cared. Though John would prefer if the leader wasn’t angry at all.</p><p>“That doesn’t mean Dutch would like to see you dead. He’s not Colm, he cares about his people. If one of you would die, he would think of it as his own failure.”</p><p>“That’s no reason to blame me for what happened,” John pointed out bitterly and hanged his head low. He got that Dutch was worried, he appreciated that, but he could’ve shown that differently than jumping at him for failed robbery. He didn’t even yelled at anyone else, just him. How was he supposed to feel after that if not hurt?</p><p>“No, it’s not,” Hosea agreed with him, patting him on the back. John looked at him from behind his hair. “I guess the anger got the best of him.”</p><p>Dutch was known for his outburst but now he was being silent which was even worse. A short yelling John could handle, he did in the past, Dutch yelled and then he was back to being nice. His silent treatment John couldn’t handle, he didn’t even know what Dutch was thinking about, which he was always happy to yell about before.</p><p>He yelled now too but that wasn’t the end like usual so John couldn’t even count on that. All of this was unusual, he wasn’t used to situation like that and it confused him. That’s why he asked Hosea for advice but it looked like he was already doing everything he could.  </p><p>“You don’t blame me, do you?”</p><p>Hosea didn’t speak with him since the morning before robbery. John was afraid that his father was just as angry as Dutch, though Hosea wasn’t showing any signs of anger so far. It was a relief that he came to talk with John but just because Hosea wasn’t yelling and throwing blame left and right didn’t mean he didn’t have a candidate to blame at all. Hosea liked to be silent when he was angry just as much as he liked to yell at people. John could never decide which was worse.</p><p>Both. Just don’t angry Hosea, it was always a bad idea and he felt like the worst bastard whenever he angered that poor old man. He didn’t deserve that.</p><p>“Of course not.” John smiled happily. “Not only you.”</p><p>John huffed.</p><p>“Thanks.”</p><p>“Oh stop scowling, boy,” Hosea chuckled. “Whatever you like it or not, it was yours mistake too.” He didn’t think so but he wasn’t going to argue with Hosea. It was like trying to win a battle of kicking with a horse. Sure you can land one solid kick, but horse would always kick harder. John was too stupid to argue with Hosea anyway. “But it was also Bill’s, Sean’s and even Dutch’s fault. It was combination of all of your mistakes. Nothing you can do about it now but to live with it.”</p><p>“Easier to say than done,” John pointed out. Maybe it could’ve been easier if the whole gang wasn’t against him, blaming him as the only one at fault.  </p><p>“Sean already doesn’t care, you should to,” Hosea advised him and waited for John to look at him again. When he did, Hosea leaned closer and talked quieter. “Just remember to never listen blindly to Dutch, no matter what.” John squinted his eyes confused. What was he talking about? “If you haven’t listened to him in the bank and do everything with your pace like you were taught, Bill wouldn’t have gotten distracted and Sean wouldn’t have turned his back to the hostages.” Oh. He never thought of it that way. John knew all along what he was supposed to do, he’s done it hundreds of times already but Dutch suddenly told him to do something different than usual, get in the way of his plan and John went with it, causing everyone to switch jobs and get sloppy for a few seconds, just enough for the hostage to take out his gun in all this chaos. “Dutch made his own mistake by telling you to hurry up. From what I’ve heard, everything was under control until he panicked about the law getting to the bank.”</p><p>It made sense seen that way. And it actually made John feel better about the whole robbery. Maybe he could really don’t care about it anymore, leave it behind like Sean. Maybe.</p><p>“Dutch will never say it was also his fault.”</p><p>That was the only thing stopping everything from getting back to normal. Dutch was too proud to admit he did anything wrong, and everything went wrong because of him, he knew it and that meant the silent treatment would continue god knows how long. John was already tired of it, he just wanted everything to get back to how it was before that stupid heist. He wanted to hear praises from Dutch again, not how much he screwed up.   </p><p>“Of course not, that’s why you do nothing and let him digest his mistakes at his own pace.”</p><p>His own pace. John just hoped it won’t take a whole month.</p><p>“Wish I could point that out like he points out my every mistake.”</p><p>“That would be a terrible idea, leave it to me.”</p><p>John chuckled, feeling slightly better after talking with Hosea about all this. He even stopped thinking about Arthur for few minutes.</p><p>“Okay,” he nodded and smiled at his father. “How’s everyone doing? Do they blame me still?”</p><p>John was actually surprised when after the heist everyone, not only Dutch, was suddenly angry at him. It’s not that the gang members were never angry with each other, they were, but not all at once. It seemed like the sight of Sean being hurt and Dutch being angry with John made the whole gang go crazy with anger as well. It didn’t matter why they were angry, everyone was so they wanted to be too.</p><p>Hosea smiled softly at him. “They miss you.”</p><p>John blinked surprised. “They do?”</p><p>He knew about Charles, but everybody else? It was impossible.</p><p>“Of course,” Hosea assured him. “Don’t judge them by how they reacted after the robbery, everyone was on edge then but now that everyone calmed down and relaxed, they recognized that being angry at you was stupid and unnecessary. Everyone is in a good mood. You could’ve noticed that if you haven’t closed yourself in your tent.”</p><p>John bend his head again, feeling ashamed for his behavior. Hosea was right, it was a tense situation, John was seeing it now, no wonder Dutch’s anger affected the whole gang. Instead of hiding from everyone, he should’ve just talked with them or at least spend some time with them like they probably did while he was at the lagoon or closed off in his tent. He was feeling stupid now.</p><p>But then he remembered how everyone was looking at him after the heist and he felt justified again.</p><p>“Wasn’t sure I was welcome,” he explained uncertainly. It was something new to him, if there was one place in the entire world where he always felt at home, it was the gang. And suddenly it wasn’t home anymore.</p><p>“Those are your friend, John.” John nodded, realizing his mistakes. “Just because they were angry at you doesn’t mean they forever will. Go to them, enjoy some free time. You can’t tell me you have anything to do here.”</p><p>“I have books,” he mentioned shyly. A book he couldn’t even read because some merman was taking all of his mind. “And my journal.”</p><p>“How’s drawing going?” Hosea asked the moment John mentioned journal.</p><p>“Fine, I guess.”</p><p>It was Hosea who convinced him to start drawing to help clean his mind. It was actually helping, even though he was terrible at it.</p><p>“Can I see?”</p><p>John hesitated. He never did before, he wasn’t drawing anything to be embarrassed about and he wasn’t scared about what Hosea might read because he only always checked the drawings. But now John felt strange sharing his drawings with Hosea, his drawing of Arthur in particular. It was his secret and he wanted it to stay that way. What if Hosea would ask why he drawn a merman? Where the inspiration came from? And why a merMAN, not a merMAID like any normal man would do?</p><p>He wasn’t ready to have this conversation, or explain why he started drawing mythological creature instead of what he sees during his travels. He couldn’t just explain that a merman was exactly what he saw. But he also couldn’t just hide his journal, Hosea would think it was suspicious.</p><p>So with his heart beating heavily in his chest, John picked up his journal from under the pillow and passed it to Hosea.</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>Just like he expected, Hosea skipped every entry and focused only on drawings. John licked his lips anxiously and waited for his father to get to the last drawing.</p><p>“Your technique is still terrible,” Hosea commented while going through the sketches. “And there is no shadows.”</p><p>“Yeah, I know.”</p><p>He was working on it.</p><p>Finally Hosea arrived at the last page. John held his breath while the older man looked at the drawing of Arthur. Hopefully it was bad enough he wouldn’t even recognize it as a man.</p><p>Hosea hummed, didn’t said anything about the odd choice, just closed the journal and gave it back. John snatched it from his hand a little too fast. He mumbled apology under his breath.</p><p>“Just keep practicing and maybe one day you’ll be able to draw a circle.”</p><p>John could feel his cheeks getting warm.</p><p>“Thanks, Hosea,” he answered sarcastically, ignoring Hosea’s chuckle when the man stood up from his cot.</p><p>“You’re welcome. Now go join your friends. No reason to sit in your tent all day.”</p><p>That sounded like a good idea. It could help forgetting about Arthur, at least for a while. Because John had no doubt that the moment he would be alone again, the merman would haunt his mind again.</p><p>Hosea left and John did the same few minutes later. It was only noon, most of the gang members were sitting by the main fire and they seemed to have fun together. John felt almost like an intruder when he approached them, wary of their reaction to him.</p><p>Javier noticed him first and smiled widely at him.</p><p>“There you are, amigo!” he shouted happily, brining everyone’s attention to John. “Nice of you to finally join us!”</p><p>“Hi, folks,” John greeted everyone and smiled shyly, looking for a place to sit. There was every gunman here so it was pretty crowded but Sadie made him a space on one of the log, almost shoving off Charles who was sitting next to her. “Mind if I join?”</p><p>“You ask now, when you’re already siting?” Lenny asked and laughed. “Sure you can join, you’re always welcome. Unlike some other people.”</p><p>“Shut up, kid,” Micah snapped at the boy immediately.</p><p>“I didn’t mention any name, Micah,” Lenny pointed out and grinned while everyone laughed. Micah just groaned angrily.</p><p>It was good to sit with everyone again, feel welcome, joke around. John was sitting there for just a minute and he was already loving it. He really missed everyone those two days.</p><p>“So, you finally moved from your tent,” Sean began, his leg once again propped up to keep it from moving. “We thought we’re going to find a corps there at some point. It even started to smell.”</p><p>Sadie waved a hand in front of her nose. “Everyone smell, none of you is taking bath often enough. Maybe except Charles.”</p><p>“Well I’m sorry we don’t smell like flowers,” Bill sneered. “Did the lady feel offended by being in real man’s presence?”</p><p>“Don’t call me ‘lady’,” she warned him.</p><p>“What are you then, a man?” Micah asked and laughed like it was the best joke ever told. “You wish you were.”</p><p>“Don’t put your own dreams on me, Mr. Bell. I’m perfectly happy as a woman.”</p><p>He really missed this, picking on Micah in particular and how much fun it was bringing to everyone. Expect Micah himself, who started complaining as always when he was the target of the jokes.</p><p>“Really good one, Miss Adler,” Micah admitted bitterly. “You won this time.”</p><p>“She wins every time, you’re just too much of a coward to admit that, you prick,” Sean pointed out and cackled.</p><p>“And you’re always licking at Sadie’s boots,” Javier joined the fun. “You won’t get anything from it, amigo. Esta chica esta loca, not worth it.”</p><p>“I’m gonna pretend it was a compliment.”</p><p>“It was,” he promised and tipped his bowler to her. Sadie returned the gesture with her own hat and with a smile.  </p><p>“So, John, glad you’re out of your tent?” Lenny asked and passed him the bottle of whisky they were sharing around.</p><p>“Yeah,” he admitted and took a swig. He forgot how thirsty he was. “Sorry for not coming out earlier.”</p><p>“Don’t worry about it,” Charles assured him. “None of us were in the mood for this, it’s actually the first day we sit around like that.”</p><p>John nodded, thankful that he didn’t miss much when he was hiding away.</p><p>“And we were just discussing what to do for the rest of the day,” Bill added. “We were thinking about celebrating.”</p><p>“Celebrating?” he repeated surprised. “Celebrating what?”</p><p>They didn’t have the money from the bank, everything was left at the vault and they also left some stuff while they were leaving the last camp. There was no reason to celebrate.</p><p>“Why my surviving of course!” Sean exclaimed with a big smile on his face. He was looking even better than the last time John have seen him. “I know you’re all happy I’m still with you, you beautiful bastards!”</p><p>Few sarcastic words were thrown around the fire.</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>“Why wouldn’t we be?”</p><p>Sean ignored it all, like always.</p><p>“I know you cared,” he laughed. “You would be lost without me.”</p><p>“We would be lost without Charles and Lenny, without you, we would be thriving,” John joked, enjoying when everyone laughed at his joke. It was so good to be a part of the group again.</p><p>“Go to hell, John Marston!” Sean shouted at him offended. “You’re just scared I’ll take your place one day.”</p><p>“Oh yeah, I’m shaking to the core,” he agreed to humor his friend.</p><p>“We were going to town before you arrived, John,” Javier informed him. “You coming?”</p><p>“To town? Didn’t Dutch told us to lay low?”</p><p>Dutch already had a problem with him, he didn’t want to give him another reason to be angry.</p><p>“I thought we voted out the town,” Sean reminded them.</p><p>“Only you,” Charles pointed out. “Because you can’t come.”</p><p>“I can and I bloody will!”</p><p>Sadie joined Charles side. “You’re not going.”</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“Look at you.” Lenny pointed at Sean’s leg, wrapped tightly in bandages. “You shouldn’t move anywhere with that leg. It’s going to fall off.”</p><p>Sean looked better but his leg was still in an awful state. Lenny wasn’t joking while saying it would fall off, it certainly looked like it.</p><p>“Then one of you can take me on their back.”</p><p>“None of us will be seen carrying you around, you idiot,” Micah quipped and everyone agreed with him.</p><p>“None of us should go, Dutch told us to lay low,” John mentioned again, feeling nervous with the prospect of going to town.</p><p>“Ah, yes!” Sean cheered. “Good idea, Jonny boy, we should stay and drink here!”</p><p>John was very happy to stay and celebrate in the camp, they had beer, they would be fine, no reason to go to town against Dutch orders.</p><p>“Stop ruining the fun, Marston,” Micah told him looking at him smugly. “We’re not going robbing, just having some fun.”</p><p>“I know your idea of fun, Micah.”</p><p>The last time they let Micah have fun, it ended with a massacre. Dutch was furious after that, John didn’t want a repeat, especially not now.</p><p>“Come on, John,” Sadie encouraged him. And not only her, everyone was looking at him with hope in their eyes. Well, except Sean who was pouting from his place and mumbling about stupid leg. Everyone wanted John to come and he wanted to go to, he really did, but he was worried Dutch would only became more angry. “It’ll be fun.”</p><p>He had no doubt about that, he loved going into town with the gang, especially when they had reason to celebrate all night. But it wasn’t the best time for that, they were on the run, they haven’t left the previous town that far behind.</p><p>“There is a lot of us,” he cautioned. “People will notice us when we ride into town.”</p><p>“Then we split before we enter the town,” Javier told him and already stood up. Others joined him, ready for the ride. ”But if you still want to stay in your tent then by all means, stay.”</p><p>Javier was provoking him, John knew that and it was working. He just joined his friends after two days of avoiding them, he didn’t want to stay behind.</p><p>He looked worried into direction of Dutch’s tent. Leader was probably inside, closed off just like John was just a couple of minutes ago. Before Dutch would notice they were gone, maybe they would be able to come back. He doubted that, they never finished drinking early. Dutch would notice, he had no doubt about that.</p><p>Easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission, or so they say.</p><p>“I’m coming,” he admitted finally, which was met with enthusiastic reaction from everybody. “Someone need to keep an eye on you all.”</p><p>“Great, a babysitter,” Micah mocked. “Look out gentleman, don’t drink too much or put your hands under women’s skirts or Marston will tell dear daddy.”</p><p>“Shut up, Micah,” he snapped at the man.</p><p>Normally, he would be having fun as anyone else, he wasn’t a kind of person to tell on others for having fun, but he really didn’t want trouble during this trip, and drunk people like Bill or Micah could easily turn a fun trip to town into shootout with their trigger happy fingers.</p><p>John was going to have some fun as well, he wasn’t planning on standing in the corner, brood and ruin other’s fun. He was just going to make sure there wouldn’t be any fun involving gun or even a brawl. Dutch would still be angry at them for going into town but at least they wouldn’t have to move again after some massacre.</p><p>John didn’t want to move again. Not when there was still a lot to discover about a mysterious merman living in the lagoon.</p><p>“I missed your sharp tongue, Marston,” Micah admitted and grinning, he patted John on the back before the whole group left to town, ignoring Sean’s whining. They would have to bring him something to make it up for him. It wasn’t fair they were leaving him but he really couldn’t come with hat leg.</p><p>Miss Grimshaw reminded them to behave, Uncle and the girls complained they weren’t invited and Hosea just waved at them when they passed him on their way to town. John didn’t feel Dutch’s gaze on himself so the leader was still in his tent, probably with Molly. Maybe she could keep him distracted long enough. If he didn’t hear dozen of horses trotting away from the camp. He probably did.</p><p>The town sat at the coast. It was small, dirty and full of degenerates and regular town’s folks. Just a regular American town in the middle of nowhere. Just like they agreed, they split up before arriving to not scare the locals. It worked and when John arrived as the last one along with Sadie, others were already snooping around getting to know the town better.</p><p>Micah and Bill’s horse were in front of the convenient store and the two of them left the building soon enough, both with pack of cigarettes. Charles, Lenny and Javier were already in the saloon, John could hear Javier’s voice with his characteristic accent. Sadie went to join them with Micah and Bill, but when she asked John if he was joining, he said he would in a minute.</p><p>He used some free time to walk down the main street of the town and look around. Dutch told them to lay low, but John couldn’t help but check for opportunities for robberies. After all, they wouldn’t be laying low forever, he wanted to have something for Dutch when the time to do something would come, so the older man could be proud of him again.</p><p>John was mostly interested in the local bank. Maybe robbing it, successfully this time, would make Dutch forget about last heist. And John would be a prized pony again, praised for his experience and skills like before everything went to shit.</p><p>Yes, that was a good plan. He would come back here the other day and plan everything. He was already feeling more rested than the last couple of times they were robbing folks, this time there won’t be any mistakes on his part, everything would go flawlessly just like it was supposed to the last time. Dutch would have no doubt who was his best gunman ever again.</p><p>With that in mind and his mood significantly increased, John joined the others in the saloon. He sat down next to Sadie, Charles and Lenny, all three were already drinking together and having fun while Bill and Micah were trying to scam some people from their money at the poker table, and Javier was trying to get lucky for tonight with some whores.</p><p>Everything was just like always, just a regular day in the life of the gang. John felt at home again. When they were rising their glasses in toast to really celebrate Sean’s surviving, John wondered how he could’ve thought he wasn’t welcome in his little family. Nothing really changed, they just screwed up one job, but nothing was broken in their relationship. If anything, it was stronger than ever.</p><p>They didn’t spend all afternoon together. After few drinks, Charles found himself a nice looking girl and went upstairs with her. Sadie left couple of minutes after, also with a girl?</p><p>Huh, who knew.</p><p>Bill found some friends he could talk to and Micah was still scamming people off their money. Lenny went somewhere with Javier and John couldn’t even see them anymore. He hoped they wouldn’t get into trouble.</p><p>Left alone, John decided to stood by the bar and enjoy few more drinks before it would be the time to get back. Hopefully Dutch wouldn’t be angry at them, they didn’t do anything wrong, they still could but so far everyone was on their best behavior, even Bill who usually, at this point, would be provoking some fight.</p><p>John let himself relax and soon enough, just a couple of beers turned into few shots of whisky. Before he noticed he was drunk and barely standing, he didn’t fall only because of the bar holding him.      </p><p>He deserved to get drunk after those last days. He shouldn’t have, he was supposed to keep an eye on the others, but the alcohol was too tempting and it was going in so easily it was hard to stop himself. Besides, getting drunk wasn’t a crime, and it’s not like he was causing any troubles while intoxicated, far opposite of that, depending on the mood, he was either giddily while drunk or sad.</p><p>Today he was in a more happy mood, smiling at everyone and everything, chuckling to his own glass. He couldn’t cause trouble in that state even if he wanted to, he was too friendly to start any fight and too uncoordinated to do something stupid. The only way he could cause troubles would be by talking, but anyone seeing him now would never took him seriously, even if he started insulting everyone.</p><p>So John just stood by the bar, drinking and humming to himself, sometimes watching other people that came here to drink after work that involved fishing. Everyone smelled of fish around here, nothing surprising considering the town was built right on the shore.</p><p>John had no idea how anyone could live this close to the ocean. Humans weren’t born to live near such a vast water, it was easy to drown in it, it was dangerous and full of sea monsters with a terrifying set of sharp teeth and pitch-black eyes.</p><p>“Hey.” John tried to get the attention of the barkeeper. “Hey, buddy.”</p><p>The man finally turned to him, already holding a bottle of whisky.</p><p>“Another one?”</p><p>“No,” John refused before thinking about it more. “Actually yes, keep them coming,” he encouraged the barkeeper. “I have a question.”</p><p>“Okay,” the man nodded while filling John’s glass to the brim.</p><p>“It’s a… weird question,” John noted and put a coin on the bar, paying for the whisky.</p><p>The barkeeper chuckled. “You have no idea what kind of questions I heard from fellas after few drinks.” The man pushed the glass towards him.</p><p>“Have you ever…” John took a pause to take the shot. Whisky went down his throat not even burning anymore. “Have you ever seen a mermaid?”</p><p>“A what?”</p><p>“Or a merman, you know,” John clarified, waving his hand nonchalantly. “They can be males too.”</p><p>Barkeeper looked at him amused.</p><p>“How many did you have, pal?” he asked, like he wasn’t there for the past hour, filling John’s glass whenever he asked.</p><p>John slapped his hand on the bar. “I’m not drunk!” he scoffed, feeling slightly dizzy after moving so suddenly. “Much,” he added and shook his head to clear it. It didn’t help. “Have you?”</p><p>The barkeeper snorted. “Mermaids don’t exist,”</p><p>John looked at him carefully, trying to find if the man is lying. He had to be, they lived near water and Arthur was a very friendly merman. He must’ve showed himself to the locals at some point!</p><p>“You sure?”</p><p>“I’ve seen weird things after alcohol, but yeah, I’m sure.”</p><p>“Maybe you saw one and just thought it’s a hallucination,” John suggested. It was impossible that no one in this town never saw Arthur. He wasn’t living that far from town and there was no way he was only swimming in his small lagoon. Nobody ever caught him in their nets? Nobody ever got eaten by him? Arthur told John he never hunted humans but who knows, he could’ve been lying! He had no idea why but sea monsters couldn’t be trusted!</p><p>The barkeeper scratched his beard in consideration before shaking his head. “I don’t think so.”</p><p>“No? Nothing?” Another shake. “Nine feet long, pretty blue tail.” So pretty and sparkly. “Black eyes, but not always, sometimes they’re blue like the tail. Kind of funny.”</p><p>He chuckled when he remembered how Arthur made him laugh yesterday.</p><p>“Those eyes?” the barkeeper asked. John narrowed his eyes.</p><p>“No, the merman,” he clarified. Was the barkeeper stupid?</p><p>The man send him a condescending smile.</p><p>“You saw a fish, friend,” he said and turned to other customer.</p><p>John followed the man with his gaze, not knowing what he was talking about. What fish?</p><p>Before he could ask, a movement caught his attention. Some man was walking by.</p><p>“Hey!” John tried to stop him, shouting after him and waving his hand in the air. “Hey, partner.”</p><p>The man stopped and looked at him tired.</p><p>“What do you want?” he asked a bit rudely but John barely noticed. With uncertain steps, he got closer to the man, stopping himself from falling by holding to the beam holding the roof.</p><p>“You look like a fisherman,” John noticed, watching the man from head to toe.</p><p>“Half of the town is fisherman.”</p><p>“You ever caught a merman?”</p><p>“No.” Was the quick reply and the man smirked. “But I caught a goldfish that gained me three wishes.”</p><p>“Ah. Don’t care about those,” John informed the man. Who cares about a stupid fish when there is a merman to catch! “Maybe one of your friends disappeared while at sea.”</p><p>Even if Arthur wasn’t eating humans, he said it himself he wasn’t the only once. Certainly other merpeople hunted fisherman while they were at sea.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Nobody was eaten?”</p><p>“By sharks, sure.”</p><p>“That’s sad.”</p><p>“It is.”</p><p>“Ocean is dangerous.”</p><p>The man nodded amused. “Sure.”</p><p>“I almost drowned, you know,” John revealed. “But I was saved.”</p><p>“Good for you.”</p><p>“A merman saved me.”</p><p>The man raised one eyebrow.</p><p>“Oh yeah?”</p><p>“Yeah,” he confirmed proudly. “His name is Arthur.” John leaned closer so nobody else could hear. “Ever been saved by a merman, friend?”</p><p>“No, but a tuna named Tony saved me once,” the man confessed in a very serious tone.</p><p>John looked at him with wide eyes. “Really?”</p><p>The man laughed and patted him a little bit too forcefully on the arm, almost causing John to fall. “Sure, buddy.”</p><p>Still laughing, the man turned and walked from the saloon. John watched after him for a moment before he decided to investigate further and keep asking people about a merman. Someone had to know about Arthur!</p><p>No one knew anything about Arthur.</p><p>He asked everyone but everyone was either laughing at him for some reason, or telling him to leave the whisky alone because he was talking nonsense. He wasn’t drunk!</p><p>Okay, he was drunk, but there was no nonsense coming out of his mouth, there was a merman living in the ocean! Why did nobody believed him? How could they not notice they had a monster swimming right under their noses?</p><p>John forcefully stood up from the table where he was sitting for the past five minutes or so, asking some man about the merman when said man laughed at him and called him crazy for believing in mermaids. It wasn’t even a mermaid, it was a merman, how hard it was to understand?!</p><p>“Sleep it off, partner,” one of the man said to John when he was going towards the exit. If no one believed him, he was going to make them believe!</p><p>He was just there when he was suddenly grabbed by the arm.</p><p>“John,” he heard and then he was being turned. The sudden move made him dizzy and he wasn’t seeing right for a few seconds. “John, where are you going?”</p><p>After few more seconds, he got his sight back and he saw a concerned Sadie in front of himself. He looked closely at her, noticing her wrinkled clothes and how she smelled more like flowers than gunpowder like usual.</p><p>“Let me go, Sadie,” he demanded and pushed away her hand. She didn’t budge. Damn, she was a strong woman. “I need to show those bastards.”</p><p>“Show what?” Charles joined in, standing right behind Sadie.</p><p>“They don’t believe me, I’m gonna bring them proof there is a merman here,” he explained and tried to move but Sadie’s grip on his arm was too strong. “Let go.”</p><p>“You’re in no state to go anywhere but back to the camp,” Charles told him and took him from Sadie. “Let’s get you back, you need to sleep.”</p><p>“No, I need to see a merman,” he insisted and tried to stay in place. Charles effortlessly pushed him outside, where he was going anyway so it was kind of perfect. Now only get to the horse.</p><p>“I’ll get Old Boy,” Sadie informed them both.</p><p>“Yes, bring me my horse,” John agreed with her and swayed while going down the stairs. “I’ll need him.”</p><p>“You’ll be riding with me,” Charles said again and dragged him towards Taima. What a pretty horse!</p><p>“Do you know where the merman is?” John asked him, resting against his friend’s mare. Taima turned her head and looked at him, judging.  </p><p>“There is no merman, John.”</p><p>Shocked, John turned his head to him. “There isn’t?” he slurred.</p><p>Charles would never lie to him. But if there was no merman, then what he saw yesterday? With who he talked? He was so confused right now.</p><p>Charles tried to help him climb the horse, but John had different plans and turned towards his own horse Sadie just brought closer. He gripped the saddle and unsuccessfully tried to put his feet in the stirrup, missing couple of times before Sadie dragged him away.</p><p>“Where are you going, you idiot?”</p><p>“I need to see,” he tried to explain to his friends. Charles lead him towards Taima again. “If he’s real.”</p><p>He would be devastated if it turned out Arthur was just his imagination. He started to like the idea of studying the creature, it had to be real! He needed proof for himself again, and then for those two fools that didn’t believe him in the saloon. He didn’t know yet how he was going to drag the merman back to town to show it to everyone and not lose a hand in the process but he would figure something out. All he needed to do right now was get to the bay and see the merman with his own eyes. </p><p>Charles and Sadie were having none of that. They practically threw him on Taima and dragged him back to the camp where they left him in his tent. He fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.</p><p>John dreamed about sharp teeth in the darkness of the ocean that night. When in his dream he finally reached the surface, all he could see was a soft smile on a friendly face.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>No Arthur in this chapter but we got John being a cute drunk!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The Touching Paradigm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I can't write short, I'm sorry :(</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John woke up the next day with a headache and a bile lurking in the back of his throat. He swallowed it and groaning he covered his sweaty and cold face with hands.</p><p>“Marston, you moron,” he mumbled to himself and groaned again when his own voice caused the headache to get worse. Why did he drink so much? He couldn’t even remember, the only thing that wasn’t hidden behind the curtain of a hangover, was how happy and relaxed he felt yesterday. He really needed a break like that, even though he was suffering now, feeling like his head was about to explode. Every time he was telling himself he would never drink again, not that much to lose track of what he was doing or to be dying the next day, but every time the alcohol would start working and he was becoming happy, it was back to the usual.</p><p>“Still as stupid as you were while sixteen,” John complained to himself and about himself.</p><p>He laid like that for a couple more minutes, trying to decide if it was safe to get up or it would only end with throwing up all over the tent’s floor, which he wanted to avoid. He never liked cleaning his own puke and there was no way any of the girls would do that for him.</p><p>Maybe he could ask that O'Driscoll boy they caught a few weeks earlier. Unlike the girl, the boy couldn’t say no to him. Not if he wanted to keep walking freely around the camp instead of being tied to a tree again.</p><p>Thankfully it didn’t come to John having to puke. He felt sick and dizzy when he eventually got up but he kept his stomach in line and walked out of the tent, swaying only slightly. The whole camp was up, he didn’t even check what time it was, but when he looked at the position of the sun, it couldn’t be later than nine or ten in the morning.</p><p>Feeling like shit and wanting nothing more than to crawl into some hole in the ground and die, John stumbled to Pearson’s wagon where they kept a bucket with some fresh water. It was full like always in the morning. John knelt in front of it, swept some water in his hand and tossed it on his face, clenching his eyes shut even before the water touched his skin. He also stopped breathing to not accidentally inhale it. He hated water, it was scaring him, especially when it was any close to his nose, but it made him feel slightly better.</p><p>He put some water on his neck as well before he stood up and grabbed something to eat. He was still feeling sick but he knew some food would help to sooth his distressed stomach. He couldn’t look at the meat so only took some canned peaches and after snatching a spoon from the basin where Kieran was just washing dishes – the boy smiled at him and said a cheery good morning, to which John only grumped something back. Kieran had no idea what a bullet he dodged just a minute ago – John joined some people around the fire.</p><p>Since he couldn’t move much and his bedroll was just behind the log, Sean was a constant presence by the fire. Karen was sitting right by his side and they whispered something among themselves, the shirt in need of stitching forgotten next to Karen. Grimshaw wouldn’t be pleased.</p><p>Apart from Sean and Karen, giggling right now like two idiots, there was also Uncle holding a bottle of whisky – John felt another wave of nausea – and Hosea and Sadie, both sipping their morning coffee. Everyone else was scattered around the camp, with Micah sitting in Dutch’s tent and discussing something with him.</p><p>John felt a pang of hurt when he saw them together. Before that damn bank heist, he was the one talking with Dutch like that, sitting in Micah's place. He was the one Dutch smiled proudly at, not some fella that joined a couple of months earlier.</p><p>John huffed angrily and sat down next to Hosea, who was reading a newspaper. One of the folks who visited town yesterday must’ve brought him it.</p><p>“Morning, John.” Just like with Kieran, John only made an unidentifiable sound as an answer. His mouth was so dry he doubted he could even speak. A juicy peach should help. “I see you had a lot of fun yesterday.”</p><p>Everyone by the fire was looking at him right now. John stared back and then watched everyone else. Charles was chopping wood like it was nothing, Bill was taking care of Brown Jack, looking like he woke up just a moment ago like John, but he seemed ten times better than him. He wasn’t as pale and judging by how much he was talking to his precious horse, he didn’t have any headache and didn’t feel any need to shoot himself whenever he heard the sound of his own voice.</p><p>The rest of the gang that was in town was just the same, looking like they didn’t drink at all.</p><p>“It’s surprising because he was there to keep an eye on us,” Sadie informed Hosea and snorted. “He ended up drunk as a skunk and we had to drag him home.”</p><p>It was that bad? John didn’t even realize, to be honest, he had no idea how he got back to camp either. Now he knew and to hide his embarrassment, he stuffed his mouth full of peaches, pretending he didn’t hear anything at all. It wasn’t the first time the gang saw him drunk, but it was the first time when he was planning to be the responsible one and he blew it on the first try.</p><p>“That’s true, Johnny boy?” Sean asked excitedly. “I wish I was there to witness you in your drunk state after you talked so much how we should keep out from trouble.”</p><p>“He was right about that,” Hosea joined the conversation and turned to Sadie. “Hope he didn’t cause any trouble back there? He was never a fighting type when drunk but you know how men are.”</p><p>John blushed, red as some of the spots on the peaches he was eating, still pretending he wasn’t there. Nobody was buying it but he was feeling better nonetheless.   </p><p>“He was just talking nonsense to everyone who was willing to listen.” Oh god, what he was saying? “Talked about some mermaid, he wanted to even go see her.”</p><p>John almost choked on the peach.</p><p>Hosea perked up a little. “Is that so?”</p><p>“Yup,” Sadie confirmed. “Don’t know where he got that from, he must’ve been really drunk.”</p><p>“I told you all to stay in the camp!” Sean shouted and tossed his hands in the air angrily. Karen rolled his eyes at him and got back to her work before Susan could yell at her. Again. “I missed John babbling nonsense! What a fucking unfairness!”</p><p>“You would be too drunk to even notice all this, boy,” Hosea pointed out and got back to his newspaper while Sean huffed offended. “Glad you didn’t end up in any brawl, John. Or spilling out something you shouldn’t to strangers.”</p><p>But he did, he talked about Arthur and he shouldn’t have, not if he wanted to keep that secret to himself for now. </p><p>John finally said something. “I’m glad about that too.” Dutch would kill him if he ended up in a fight. “Didn’t mean to get that drunk it just… happened.”</p><p>“Nothing wrong with being drunk, John,” Hosea assured him, not taking his eyes from the newspaper. “Just don’t get into trouble, son.”</p><p>“I won't, I swear. I don’t remember anything but I was never the one causing trouble after some whiskey.”</p><p>Still, it was frightening that he was so eager to talk about Arthur in this state. It was a secret like any other, if he talked about that, who knows if he wouldn’t talk about the gang some day? It never happened before, but he couldn’t be sure it won't happen in the future.</p><p>Another reason to ditch the whiskey, he thought to himself and ate another peach.</p><p>“Don’t worry, we’ll remember everything for you,” Charles said with a smile when he approached them with logs swung over his shoulder. He dropped them all near the fire. “Never saw you like this, John. Where did that mermaid even come from?”</p><p>Thank god they thought it was a mermaid, not a merman. That would be much more awkward to explain.</p><p>“You talked about her saving you,” Sadie added amused. “I would say you drank too much sea water but you wouldn’t be that stupid to get this close to the ocean.”</p><p>If she only knew how stupid he really was.</p><p>“I didn’t drink any sea water,” he answered, uncertain what he should tell to justify his sudden interest in mythical creatures. “Just read a book and it stuck, I suppose.”</p><p>“What book?” Sean asked “Some fairy tales? I heard there is a tale about a mermaid who wanted to be with a prince. If you wish that to be true, then I’m sorry, my friend, your mug is too ugly for a prince.”</p><p>“Thanks,” John murmured, self-conscious about his scarred face. He covered his scars on instinct. “I read no fairy tales, just some books about art. There was a painting of a mermaid there.”</p><p>When John finished explaining, hoping it was enough to satisfy everyone’s curiosity, he noticed Hosea was looking at him and then nodded in understanding. Maybe he did wonder about the drawing of Arthur’s in his journal after all. Well, now he knew why it was there. Except it was a lie.</p><p>John felt relieved when nobody asked any more questions about the mermaid, they just continued making fun of him for dreaming of her and being her prince. Which he was not. Just like he was no prince, Arthur wasn’t some pretty mermaid that would drive a man crazy with his beauty. It was a monster that could kill him with one bite. Whoever wrote that stupid tale Sean was talking about, clearly never met a real merperson. </p><p>After finishing the whole can of peaches, John purred himself some coffee and sat in his tent to drink it alone. He had enough teasing for today. He felt a little better after a few sips. He was already feeling better thanks to the peaches, but the food was only helping his stomach while coffee cleared his mind and helped with the headache. John kind of felt alive again, at least enough to do some work around the camp.</p><p>He cleaned his cup and went to look for some work for himself but unfortunately for him, most of the daily work was already done. John settled back in his tent again, placing his saddle on his lap to clean it, he hasn't been doing it since before the heist. It didn’t look that bad but it still needed some conservation if he wanted to use it as much as he could. A good saddle wasn’t cheap and he quite liked that one, he was used to it, Old Boy too.</p><p>John hummed while working and to his surprise, he barely thought about Arthur. Of course the merman was still on his mind but now more like a ghost that was vanishing and repairing from time to time than a constant presence. He wanted to see him again, see if Arthur was still in the bay or if he took John’s advice and found himself a new home. It would be a wise thing to do, especially since John talked so much about the merman in town. Most of the people took it as just the alcohol talking but what if someone actually got curios? John hoped he never told anyone how to find Arthur in his bay. He could ask his friends but he didn’t want to be the target of their jokes again.</p><p>Besides, why was he even caring about that? So what if some poor fisherman finds Arthur and kills him? It was just a stupid fish, and it was more likely that the fisherman would end up as Arthur’s dinner than the other way around . The merman said he never ate alive humans but if he was smart, he wouldn’t hesitate to kill someone that was a danger to him.    </p><p>If John was smart, he would kill Arthur himself and use him as a peace offering for Dutch who still looked at him like John betrayed him. He could feel the older man’s gaze on himself when he was cleaning his saddle. It wasn’t a constant staring but the shift of Dutch’s gaze happened often enough that John couldn’t ignore it.</p><p>It was tiring and it still hurt. He really needed to get on Dutch’s good side again but he couldn’t go to town and look for an opportunity to rob someone or something. They were still laying low.</p><p>But Arthur wasn’t in town, getting him wouldn’t bring any trouble to the gang. If John could manage to kill him or capture him and then drag him to camp, they could get a lot of money for him, maybe even enough to stay in one place like Dutch wanted for some time now. It would be easy, capturing Arthur. Well, maybe not capturing him, but killing him without damaging him so they could show him to the world? The merman was already too trusting, all John would need to do was get him to think he came to become friends after all and shoot him when the merman would have no way to escape or attack. One shot between the eyes should be enough and people in some museum or in a circus could always cover that with some paint after stuffing the merman.</p><p>Everything would get back to normal again and John wouldn’t have to think about the merman ever again. It was a shame that he would lose an opportunity to know a lot about some new species, he was really looking forward to knowing Arthur better but the gang was much more important than some stupid sea monster. It was always like that for John and he wasn’t going to change that now.</p><p>His saddle was ready to use, John grabbed it and put it on Old Boy after he coaxed the gelding to stand up and stop being lazy. John got back for his satchel and gun before he was ready to go.</p><p>“I’m going to look around,” he told the others. “Should be back soon.”</p><p>He felt good not lying about his absence. He couldn’t wait to see everyone’s jaws on the ground when he would drag Arthur to the camp to show that the mermaid wasn’t just some drunk talking.</p><p>“Safe travel, John,” Lenny wished him while keeping guard.</p><p>John spurred Old Boy into a trot and then to a slow gallop. He wasn’t in any hurry, and he wanted to make sure he remembered the road. This time finding a path wasn’t hard, he stopped by it on the first try and dismounted.</p><p>“Wait for me here, boy,” he spoke to Old Boy softly, brushing his soft nose. “Shouldn’t take long.”</p><p>If Arthur was still there. Last time it didn’t take long for the merman to show up, scaring John in the process, today shouldn’t be different, Arthur was so desperate for a friend he wouldn’t even notice it was a trap.</p><p>John checked his revolver – anything bigger would be too suspicious so he left any big guns in the camp – and hummed satisfied when he found all six bullets inside, ready to shoot. One should be enough. Judging Arthur’s reaction to the distanced shot and how he made sure John was without a weapon after he saved him, the merman was scared of guns so it could kill him. Good, John thought. It will make killing him easier.</p><p>Being wary of every step, John started going down the path, still amazed by the slow reveal of the bay, how he could see the almost turquoise water through the leaves, feel the chilling breeze on his face that was becoming stronger with each step. It was a truly beautiful place, he was going to miss it after the gang would leave with their money they would get for the merman.</p><p>Speaking of merman.</p><p>John noticed Arthur the moment he pushed the last branches from his face. He stopped then and just watched from the path. The merman was swimming lazily in the shallow waters, his movements elegant and swift like the water wasn’t showing any resistance to him. The big fins on the sides of his hips were spread like wings, waving up and down like ones too, and the blue scales of his tale sparkled even more in the water, looking like the whole thing was covered with diamonds.</p><p>The way Arthur moved, took every turn or a roll, how relaxed he was right now was somehow soothing to John, like watching a slightly wrinkled surface of the lake on a slow day. He couldn’t turn his eyes away, the sight stealing his breath away.  </p><p>Taking the merman away from the water, John realized, putting him stuffed in a museum, would be a crime against nature. He couldn’t do that, he couldn’t just go there, shoot him and then give him to Dutch as a gift. He didn’t want to do that in the first place. Arthur’s place was in the water, that’s where he looked and felt best. That’s where his beauty was supposed to be admired, not on the exhibit, unmoving, dead.</p><p>Killing a legendary deer or a bear was one thing, but killing something that strange yet so human, so intelligent? John couldn’t do it. He wasn’t a man like that, he had morals and Arthur saved his life while he could’ve ended it. John owed him his life too.</p><p>He watched as Arthur swam towards the rock belt and lifted himself on it, laying his huge body comfortably before staring at the ocean in front of him. He looked so calm, like he wasn’t scared that some human may come at any moment and kill him.</p><p>John decided to reveal himself then. </p><p>“You shouldn’t lay in the open like that!” he shouted and the merman turned to him immediately, shocked at first, but then his whole face lit up.</p><p>“You came back,” Arthur noticed, surprised, turning his whole body towards John while he was getting down.</p><p>“And you’re still here,” John replied with a smile. He had no idea why he was so happy but he was really glad to see the merman again.</p><p>“You weren’t here yesterday, I thought you weren't coming back.”</p><p>John shrugged his shoulders.</p><p>“I had my own life, you know.” That was a lie, ever since he saw Arthur, he could only stop thinking about him for that long. John pointed at the merman again. “You heard what I said? Laying like that is dangerous.”</p><p>“You’re the first human I’m seeing here,” Arthur said, watching him get closer. The end of his tail was waving almost nervously to the sides, like it belonged to an angry cat.</p><p>“I could hurt you too.” John patted himself on the holster with his revolver he wasn’t planning to use. Not now, not never. Unless Arthur would attack him first. </p><p>Arthur crooked his head to the side and smirked.</p><p>“If you wanted to do that, you would’ve yesterday.” The merman saw right through his bluff. Not that John wanted him to be scared of him. “Why are you back?”</p><p>It was a simple question, easy to answer but John felt unsure of himself when Arthur asked that. Should he lie? The truth wasn’t that embarrassing but somehow it made the tips of John’s ears burn.</p><p>“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he revealed finally, watching Arthur’s reaction to that.</p><p>The merman looked at him surprised but it was quickly replaced by amusement.</p><p>“That’s sweet,” Arthur noted and propped his head on one hand and watched John like that. John could see his claws, still as scary as they were the first time. Arthur could rip his throat with them easily, one swat and any human would drown in his own blood, bleeding like a pig.</p><p>John blushed even more, he felt the heat in his face increasing. He hoped it didn’t show that much but Arthur smirked again so it probably did.</p><p>“Don’t flatter yourself, it’s not because of your endearing personality.” John entered the shallow waters of the lagoon, getting closer to Arthur who still watched unaffected by this bold move. It looked like they both weren’t scared of each other anymore. If Arthur was even scared, he looked mostly nervous the last time John was here. “You’re just a strange and fascinating creature.”</p><p>“Likewise.”</p><p>John snorted. The water was already reaching to his knees, two more steps and he would be in the exact same spot he was the last time, just barely outside of the touching distance.</p><p>“You’ve seen humans more than once. You eat them.”</p><p>“Dead people aren’t the best to get to know them better.” Arthur blinked. It was strange, he had normal eyelids but he never moved them, just the black ones. What were they for, John wondered. “Keep that in mind when you decide to kill me to get to know my species better.”</p><p>It was amazing how easy Arthur was making him laugh.</p><p>“I’m not here to kill you.” Not anymore. John stopped and they both looked at each other for a few seconds without saying anything.</p><p>Arthur broke the silence first. “Then why are you here?”</p><p>That question again. What else could John say to that but what he already admitted?</p><p>“You aren’t scared,” he noticed, changing the subject. Arthur blinked again, John couldn’t get used to that, to just randomly seeing a black lids over those human, blue eyes. “Of me shooting you.”</p><p>“I know you won’t shoot me,” Arthur explained, completely relaxed. John would be more shocked by that if he wasn’t relaxed now too. “You were just scared the first time.”</p><p>“Yeah, because you crawled at me with those sharp teeth of yours,” he remained and as on cue, the teeth appeared slowly, growing from the gums in Arthur’s mouth until they filled it all. His eyes were still the same which added some grotesque to his look.</p><p>“Just wanted to show you what saved you.” Arthur smiled like that and despite John’s best effort, he shivered which didn’t go unnoticed by Arthur. The teeth retreated instantly. “Sorry for scaring you. It wasn’t my intention.”</p><p>“I’m sure it wasn’t,” John said unconvinced.</p><p>Arthur let out a chuckle. “Okay, so maybe I wanted to scare you a little,” he admitted. John rolled his eyes and once again took the opportunity of being this close too look more at Arthur. The human part of his body looked normal so John focused mostly at the tail. “It was kind of funny watching you panic. And I wanted to know if you… you know.”   </p><p>John didn’t know.</p><p>“What?” He tried to pull at Arthur’s tongue and make him speak more. Whatever he had to say it seemed interesting because the merman looked actually bashful.</p><p>Arthur shook his head, like he was shaking off the shyness to put on a big smile on his face instead.</p><p>“Doesn’t matter,” he said but it did matter. John wanted to know. “You’re back.”</p><p>It was kind of adorable how happy it was making him. He really must’ve been lonely.</p><p>“I am,” John confirmed, looking at Arthur’s tail again. His scales looked like any other fish, just bigger because the merman was bigger than a common trout. It still amazed John how long he was, he couldn’t imagine how heavy it made him and yet he seemed to have no problem with walking on land, at least for a short time. “I’ll probably be back tomorrow too.”</p><p>Arthur was actually surprised by that.</p><p>“Really? Why? I thought you said you’re not the right person to be friends with.”</p><p>“I’m not. I’m not here to be friends, I just want to know you better.”</p><p>Arthur squinted his eyes at him, looking nervous again. It showed in his tail as well, it started moving a little fast to the sides and the big fins at his hips were buzzing like a rattle of the rattlesnake. John wanted to touch them.</p><p>“Hopefully not to use it against me,” he said, finally acting suspicious like he should instead of being friendly.</p><p>“I’m not going to kill you,” John assured him again, flashing him a smile to soothe the merman’s nerves. “You said it yourself, you saved my life, it wouldn’t be fair or honorable to kill you. I owe you.”</p><p>“You owe me nothing,” Arthur told him and looked away for a second. If he was still going with his plan, that would be the perfect opportunity to kill the merman. But John wasn’t lying, he had no desire to kill Arthur. He would have to find another way to please Dutch. “Saving you was the right thing to do. You needed help, so I helped.”</p><p>“And I’m forever grateful for that.” John placed his hand over his heart but he didn’t think Arthur understood this gesture. But he understood smiles so John didn’t stop smiling. “I still don’t understand why you saved me, but I’m glad you did.”</p><p>“Just like you have your rules to not kill someone that saved your life, I have mine to help those who need help, animal or human,” Arthur explained. John already knew the merman was very much human but it still surprised him how sentient he was. </p><p>“Still, it would’ve been easy to just watch me die and get a free meal.”</p><p>“I wasn’t hungry at that moment.”</p><p>It was meant as a joke but somehow John had a feeling it was also just a fact. Still, it made him chuckle but also horrified him a little.</p><p>“What a relief,” John joked back and now it was his turn to make Arthur laugh. The merman was relaxed again, his tail laid pliant on the rocks. Arthur had no intentions of using it to either run to water or throw his whole body at John to kill him. “Well, I’m in no need to kill a merman so we’re even. I really just want to know you better, your species.”</p><p>“You can start with touching my tail.” John was shocked by that consent. “I see how you keep looking at it.”</p><p>John blushed at that.</p><p>“Never saw anything like it,” he admitted and after clearing his throat he got closer than ever before. If Arthur wanted, he would be able to grab John and either slash his throat open or drag him with him to the ocean.</p><p>“Never saw a fish?” Arthur asked with a humorous smile. “It’s not that different.”</p><p>“Fish in American rivers aren’t that colorful,” John clarified. “And they aren’t that big neither.”</p><p>“You never saw a shark, have you?” Arthur snorted. “Or a whale.”   </p><p>“Not a big ocean lover,” John chuckled and nervously reached his hand toward Arthur’s tail. He was just about to touch it but hesitated and took his hand back. “Any place I should avoid?”</p><p>He didn’t want to provoke the merman to attack or cause him pain. Which would provoke an attack. Arthur looked human and John was seeing him like that more and more, but he could still see an animal in him, and animals always have the same reaction to being hurt – fight or flight. Something was telling him a predator like Arthur would fight.</p><p>“Just this spot.” Arthur pointed somewhere where John assumed would be his abdomen if he had legs. He saw nothing at first but then scales in this place opened, creating a slim slit.</p><p>“What’s in this spot?” John asked curiously, tempted to touch despite Arthur telling him to avoid it.</p><p>“My reproductive organs.”</p><p>John blinked and retrieved his hand even more than it already was before he looked at the merman. Arthur’s face was blank, John expected him to laugh at any moment but he didn’t, he just stared back, turning his head to the side a little.</p><p>“You’re joking, right?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>John put the hand he was intended to touch Arthur with under his vest. His face was on fire right now and he really tried not to look at the slit. He coughed awkwardly.</p><p>“Can you…” John waved at the direction of the opening. “Close it?”</p><p>“Why? Everything is still hidden.”</p><p>“Just close it,” he begged. Arthur was watching him, John could feel it even with his head turned away from the tail. He didn’t expect the talk to go this way, that’s for sure!</p><p>“If it’ll make you feel better.” John could hear the scales coming back together and it only made the whole thing more awkward. “Done.”</p><p>“Thank you,” he breathed out, but he was still hesitant to look at Arthur. “I didn’t need to know that.”</p><p>“You asked,” Arthur noted, still unaffected by the whole situation. It wasn’t surprising, it was probably different for merpeople. After all, Arthur was showing his bare chest without shame, John would never do that in front of strangers, only behind closed doors while spending a night with a working girl. Or a man.</p><p>“You didn’t need to show me this,” John insisted.</p><p>“I showed you nothing. Everything was still hidden,” he repeated his previous word.</p><p>“I didn’t see it that way.” This was getting even more awkward than it already was. “So avoid that spot, got it.”</p><p>Arthur nodded and John tried again, staying as far away from that one spot as possible. He moved his hand towards the slimmer part of the tail, somewhere in the middle of its length. The whole thing was curled like a snake to fit on the rocks, it was really long, almost seemed never ending, with the fin hanging on the other side of the rocks, probably partially submerged in the water.</p><p>John inched his hand closer until the tips of his fingers got into contact with the blue scales. The moment it happened, a terrifying screech left Arthur, John snatched his back and tumbled backward on his ass while looking terrified into the merman’s black eyes and at his sharp teeth. The side fins were spread in a threatening manner and Arthur, lifted on his arms, looking ready to attack, continued screeching, sounding like something that came straight from hell.</p><p>John's heart was pounding in his chest, he was sure he was going to die any moment, that Arthur was just playing with his food when the screech ended abruptly. Arthur changed his appearance to normal and laughed. He laughed!</p><p>“I’m sorry,” the merman said between his laughs while John still wasn’t sure what happened. His body just froze after witnessing something that terrifying. What he saw the first day he met Arthur was nothing compared to this! “It was just too easy.”</p><p>Arthur continued laughing, very proud of himself. John’s heart continued beating like it wanted to get out but the panic subdued, replaced by anger. Clenching his teeth, he draws his revolver like during duels and shoots once into the air. He watched with pleasure as Arthur jumped startled and leaped into water, disappearing under the surface. Now John laughed and he only laughed harder when he saw Arthur’s terrified expression when the merman nervously emerged from the water looking from behind the rock to see if John was really going to shoot him. When he realized it was just a joke like his own, Arthur huffed and lifted himself on the rocks again and just sat on them with his arms crossed.</p><p>“Okay, I deserved that,” he said with a raised voice so John could hear him over his laugh.</p><p>“You did,” John chuckled and put his gun away to assure Arthur he wasn’t going to use it. Just like Arthur wasn’t going to use his deadly teeth on him. “You should’ve seen your face.”</p><p>John laughed again and to his surprise, Arthur joined with his own laugh. It was raspy, just like his voice, very nice on the ears. Much more than that horrifying screech.</p><p>“What was that?” he asked about the sound, hoping the merman would understand.</p><p>“You can call it a siren song,” Arthur answered with a smirk. “Not very effective in luring people but it’s perfect for scaring them away. Nothing scares humans on the open sea more than an unknown sound at night.”</p><p>“It's the middle of the day, I was seeing you and I still got scared,” John admitted and stood up. His pants were wet again but he was getting used to that while being here. “You’re horrifying when you want to be.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Arthur replied proudly and looked into the direction of John’s gun. “That thing can be scary too.”</p><p>“It’s a revolver,” John explained and took it out again to show it better. Arthur didn’t try to reach for it, he was probably scared of it but he wasn’t afraid John would use it. “It can kill so yeah, it can be scary. But so do you.”</p><p>“It’s loud,” Arthur noticed, watching the revolver with wary eyes.</p><p>“So are you,” John repeated. Arthur rolled his eyes and John holstered his revolver. No reason to keep it out. “You gonna scare me again if I try to touch you?”</p><p>John got closer again but because Arthur wasn’t laying anymore, he couldn’t really touch the tail where he wanted to. He hoped he wasn’t going to touch that slit.</p><p>“Would you fall for it again?” Arthur asked back and smiled slyly.</p><p>“Probably,” John admitted without shame. That screech would always be scary, he was sure it was going to haunt him at night. And he thought elk or female cougars calling for a mate had a scary cry.</p><p>“I won’t scare you again,” Arthur promised and laid down again, which not only gave John lots of safe places to chose from but also placed both of them on the same eye level.</p><p>John tried once again and this time there was no screech when he touched the tail, it didn’t even flinch under his touch or when he moved his palm, feeling the scales. They were slick with something but it wasn’t unpleasant, just strange. It wasn’t also that surprising, regular fish were slimy as well.</p><p>Some of the scales got stuck to his hand when he lifted it. He picked one up, looking the same as the one he found the other day.</p><p>“It doesn’t hurt?”</p><p>Arthur shook his head. “They fall off all the time,” he admitted and allowed John to touch his tail again, moving his palm back and forth at some of its length. When going with the direction the scales were growing, it was smooth and kind of pleasant to touch after getting used to the slick. John couldn’t tell what the feeling was, it wasn’t like touching a reptile, but it wasn’t like touching the fish either. If he was supposed to name it, he would compare it to touching a rock after the rain. It was smoother but still kind of rough. That was how Arthur’s tail felt like under his touch.</p><p>Going against the scales was stranger, he lifted some of them up and they stayed like that before they got back to how they were, seemingly on their own. That motion was unpleasant, scales were actually sharp, not enough to cut his skin, but they were irritating it, making it red like after a hard scratch with John’s own fingernails.</p><p>Arthur was watching intensely all this time. John reached the fine on the side of merman’s hip. It was folded, just laying on the body it was attached to. He gently grabbed it and spread it. It was bigger than he thought, as wide as wagon wheel but it was also thin like a paper. When John touched the membrane it was made of, he was actually afraid he was going to tear it with the slightest touch, just like something did with the edges before him. The fin was ragged in some places, just like the tail fin. He wondered what was brave enough to attack Arthur and cause this.    </p><p>“It’s beautiful,” he admitted, leaving the fin and moving his hand down with the scales again, still staring at Arthur’s tail that shivered slightly. Must have touched a sensitive spot. “The scales, the whole tail.”</p><p>“Thank you.” He almost didn’t hear Arthur, he said that so quietly.</p><p>“It’s okay if I touch your human skin?” John asked, looking into Arthur’s eyes for any negative response but the merman nodded.</p><p>“I don’t know what’s fascinating about it, you have it too” Arthur pointed out but didn’t object when John touched his hips where scales looked like they melted with the skin. The transition was smooth, he almost didn’t notice it because the human skin was as cold as the scaly tail.</p><p>John was feeling a little strange touching Arthur’s bare stomach, like he was crossing some boundaries even though Arthur seemed okay with it. Still it was too intimate so he switched to merman’s arm where he had his tattoo and followed its patterns. He could feel strong muscles under the skin, especially where the biceps were. He didn’t see it yet but he was sure Arthur was really strong with arms like that. It explained how it was possible he was so fast on the ground.</p><p>John’s mouth went dry for a second before he reminded himself this was not only basically a stranger, but also a merman, a completely different species. That wasn’t the time to show any attraction but it was hard to ignore that naked, muscled chest and arms.</p><p>“You’re cold,” John said to focus on something different. It worked.</p><p>“And you’re warm,” Arthur pointed out and reached his hand toward him. John backed off slightly, startled by a sudden move. “Can I? You touched me, it’s only fair to let me touch you.”</p><p>“Why? You touched humans before.”</p><p>“Only dead and most of the time already rotten ones,” Arthur explained like it was nothing. John was still getting used to that subject. “That’s why I’m surprised you’re warm. I thought humans are cold like we are.”</p><p>John was actually considering it. He didn’t like the idea of being touched like some science subject, but then again, he just did that to Arthur. He wasn’t even scared of being attacked, it was just the fact that people didn’t touch each other often, not without a reason behind it. That’s the same reason it was awkward for him to touch anything other than Arthur’s tail. He wasn’t feeling like he was examining an animal anymore, it felt like he was caressing a random human on the street and it was making it weird.</p><p>But it was only fair, as Arthur put it. For him it would be the same experience as for John, just curiosity, nothing inappropriate. If the merman could handle that, John could too.</p><p>“Fine,” he agreed and couldn’t help but smile when Arthur grinned. It was so easy to smile back. John reached one of the rocks, stood with his back to it and using his arms he lifted himself up, sitting next to Arthur who sat as well. They were the same height when they were sitting. “Just not too long, we don’t let strangers touch us like that.”</p><p>“We aren’t strangers,” Arthur pointed out with his hands hovering in the air, not knowing where to touch first. ”You know my name, I know yours.”</p><p>John snorted. “We’re still strangers, I know nothing about you and you know nothing about me.”</p><p>“I still know more about you than any other human or merperson.”</p><p>“I guess.”</p><p>Arthur finally decided to touch John’s face first. Just like he expected, it was awkward and kind of scary when those claws were so close to his eyes. One wrong move and he could end up blind. But Arthur was very careful, his touch was soft like a feather, he barely touched John’s skin, his stubble. He even touched the scars, lingering around them for a little longer, making John anxious about them. The merman didn’t ask about them, just went to the neck.</p><p>John’s heart started beating faster. Arthur could rip his throat right there but once again, he just lightly touched the skin, feeling the pulse under his fingers. They were cold, made John shiver slightly and gave him goosebumps even though he barely felt them.</p><p>Arthur moved his palm to John’s sternum next. Like always, he had the shirt unbuttoned at the neck so some of the chest was in the open. Arthur touched the hair that grew there, there weren't that many of them, not as much as the merman had. It was strange, he was fascinated by what he had himself but he was just probably checking if it was really the same or was different from humans.</p><p>Arthur hummed satisfied and suddenly gripped the collar of John’s shirt and tugged at it before moving his hand lower, on the covered chest. He tugged at the buttons as well, felt the material once again and moved further, getting too low for John’s comfort. When he was about to touch his crotch, John grabbed his wrist, not caring if it would provoke him.</p><p>“Don’t touch that,” he hissed at the merman who looked at him confused.</p><p>“Why? What’s down there?”</p><p>How many times was he going to blush this day? It never happened before!</p><p>“Just don’t,” he repeated and released his grip on Arthur’s wrist.</p><p>“Will it hurt if I touch you there?” Arthur asked again, watching John’s face carefully for any signs of pain.</p><p>“In a way,” he said evasively. He wasn’t as bold as Arthur to just talk about his… reproductive system.</p><p>Arthur was satisfied with that answer and got back to touching above the waist.</p><p>“Why do you wear clothes?” he asked, touching the material of the vest John had on him.</p><p>“To not get cold, that’s one thing,” John teased him. Arthur looked at him with narrowed eyes while John grinned. “We just do. Walking around naked is inappropriate. And like I said, it could be cold.”</p><p>“What’s so inappropriate about it?” Arthur kept asking, still touching John’s clothes. It was better than touching his naked skin, though from time to time Arthur would push at some spot of his chest to feel the muscles there better or would come across one of the nipples. “I’m naked.”</p><p>“Well, you don’t have your… reproductive system out like you pointed out two times already.”</p><p>“Oh, so that’s what this weird small thing and two balls are,” Arthur realized. “I saw it on dead bodies. That’s why you didn’t want me to touch you there. I’m so sorry about that.”</p><p>He would rather not talk about that at all than hear Arthur apologizing.</p><p>“It’s fine,” he rasped. “I didn’t warn you.”</p><p>“Should’ve asked,” Arthur mumbled awkwardly before he got back to not feeling any shame with his next question. “So you don’t have it hidden like we do? Now I get why you wear clothes.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Arthur kept touching his clothes like it was the most fascinating thing on Earth right now. The weird discussion was done.</p><p>“I understand covering your genitals but why covering your chest?” Maybe not. “Both your males and females hide it.”</p><p>“You can’t just walk around showing your chest to everybody,” John explained with a groan. He didn’t expect that day to be so awkward.</p><p>“Why not?” Arthur was puzzled. “There is nothing there.”</p><p>“It’s just how it is,” John tried to explain as vaguely as possible, which probably wasn’t helping with ending this conversation early. He just didn’t know how to explain it because he didn’t really understand why people hide their skin so much. Which didn’t stop him from doing the same thing out of shame.</p><p>“I don’t understand.” Arthur still had confusion written all over his face. “It’s just skin. And breasts are for babies.”</p><p>“Not only for babies,” John mumbled under his breath and coughed. “We use them during… What did you call it? Mating?”</p><p>When he looked at Arthur, the merman looked confused.</p><p>“You use them during mating?”</p><p>“Yeah?” he croaked unsure.</p><p>“Why would you do that? It doesn’t have anything to do with mating.”</p><p>“It’s just nice to touch. For both man and woman.”</p><p>John never thought he would have to have a conversation like that.</p><p>Frowning, Arthur looked at his own chest and after two or three seconds, he touched one of his nipples. Blushing, John turned his head and shifted uncomfortably. Even working girls weren’t as shameless as this fella.</p><p>“I don’t see what’s so nice about that,” Arthur said, still puzzled by all this. John felt brave enough to look at him again. Thankfully, Arthur stopped touching his own chest.</p><p>“It has to be done to you by another person,” John explained awkwardly, not knowing if he was more frustrated, or embarrassed. They barely know each other and they were talking about procreation! When Arthur looked directly at him, John felt himself blushing even harder. “Not by me!”</p><p>Arthur was startled by his sudden yell. “I wasn’t asking?” he noted uncertainly, eyeing John suspiciously.</p><p>“Oh.” Would Arthur eat him if he killed himself now? Because that seemed like a pretty good idea right now. He was definitely more embarrassed. When he spoke again, his voice was slightly stuttering. “You’ll have to find yourself some nice mermaid and see for yourself. For now, you have to believe me it’s nice.”</p><p>Arthur still wasn’t convinced but he slowly nodded.</p><p>“I’m sure it is.”</p><p>John groaned, hiding his face in his hands before he looked at the merman again.</p><p>“Can we not talk about it and go back to touching?”</p><p>That sounded wrong but Arthur didn’t seem to think that so John didn’t correct himself but he still wanted to lean back, fall into the water and drown. No wonder people never talked about this stuff, it was the most awkward thing John ever experienced and he came after being inside a whore for like two seconds when he was sixteen..</p><p>“Sure,” the merman agreed and chuckled. “You’re really weird, you know? Humans, I mean. Hiding your body like that for no reason and using it the strange way.”</p><p>“You call me weird? You’re half-fish, half-human that eat dead bodies!”</p><p>Arthur shrugged.</p><p>“They taste nice, you should try it sometime.”</p><p>“No, thank you.”</p><p>Arthur chuckled again and grinned but what caught John’s attention was the sides of his neck. He could swear that for one second, it opened.</p><p>“What’s that?” he pointed and reached towards it but didn’t touch it. After that awkward conversation from a minute ago he didn’t want a repeat so soon, or never for that matter. Arthur frowned at him, not understanding what he was talking about. “On your neck, I saw…”</p><p>He couldn’t help himself, he touched it and to his surprise, his fingers dipped a little inside the flesh. He snatched his hand away immediately at the same time as Arthur shifted away slightly and covered his neck.</p><p>“That lets me breath underwater,” the merman explained. When he took his hand back, the neck opened in three places, wide enough to see the red tissue inside. Gills.</p><p>It looked horrifying, like someone cut the merman open but there was no blood, just smooth edges.</p><p>“How come I haven’t seen it before?”</p><p>He could understand not seeing it the first time, they only talked briefly, but the second time he was close enough he should’ve noticed.</p><p>“I close them when I’m on land.” Arthur kept them open, allowing John to have a closer look. He leaned closer to look inside and see small rows of fibers sticking close together, red as blood. He couldn’t look inside Arthur’s throat like in some fish, the whole gill looked like a small pocket placed slightly askew on the side of the neck, no bigger than two inches long. “So nothing can get inside, it’s not pleasant.”</p><p>“Did I hurt you when I poked them?” John asked worried.</p><p>“It doesn’t hurt it just… I don’t know how to call that.”</p><p>“Tickle?” John suggested.</p><p>“I don’t know what that means.”</p><p>John reached his hand toward the merman again, Arthur wasn’t suspecting anything so when John tickled his ribs, he scooted away in shock, his body doing anything it could to stay away from John’s hand.</p><p>“That’s a tickle,” he said with a smile. He was actually surprised that merpeople had them. “You never had someone tickle you?”</p><p>“I had, I just didn’t know the word you used,” Arthur explained and looked him over. “I guess you could call touching my gills ticklish. You have them too? Tickles, I mean.”</p><p>“Sure, on the ribs, behind ears, under armpits, on the bottom of our feet.”</p><p>“So everywhere we have them,” Arthur noted and slipped from the rock he was sitting on. His body fell into a shallow lagoon with a splash, head first. He used his strong arms to lift himself, even some of his tail, gripping the rock for support. From this place, he was close to John’s dangling legs. “Except these of course.”</p><p>John didn’t protest when Arthur started examining his legs. He started from the calf's, then went to the knee and actually grabbed the leg to see how it bends. John watched him, fascinated by the merman’s curiosity. He never spent any time with a small baby but he was sure that’s how it would look like watching it learn how the human body works. Except it wasn’t a child but a sea monster who didn’t have legs himself.</p><p>It was just like John checking Arthur’s tail, something new, strange and intriguing, even though Arthur must’ve seen and touched human legs before, unlike John who never touched a merman’s tail until today.</p><p>“Never understood how you can walk on this,” Arthur admitted, lowering himself so he could take a look at the feet. He didn’t like that boots were in his way. “They look so thin, like they can’t keep up all your weight.”</p><p>“They're actually pretty strong, stronger than my arms,” John told him, remembering how he killed a couple of guys with one kick to the head. It never happened with punches. “They’re just right. We can walk a lot on them, cross many miles and not get tired.”</p><p>“Don’t help you much in the water,” Arthur noticed and got back on the rock. John once again was surprised by the strength in his arms. “Saw a human swim a couple of times. Not only you look funny in the water, like you don’t know what you’re doing, but you get tired quickly.”</p><p>“Well, it’s hard to move in the water,” John tried to explain. “Every move in it is heavier than on land, like something is trying to keep you in place. I guess humans swim okay, but not as good as you. I saw you do it effortlessly before I shouted at you.”</p><p>“I never get tired in water,” Arthur said proudly. “I can swim for days, even in my sleep. When I don’t feel like moving, I just let the current carry me.”</p><p>“We don’t have those on land but we use horses to cross great distances.” Arthur looked intrigued by horses when he heard this word. John wondered if he knew what they looked like but he didn’t ask. “Legs are perfect for land but aren’t that good in water.” John waved his legs to make a point. “Your tail is perfect for water but not so good on land.”</p><p>“Yeah, I wouldn’t be able to follow you much,” Arthur admitted and waved his tail just like John did with his legs. Its movement was slower than in the water, heavier. “Maybe for some time, slowly, but not with the same pace I use when running away. Not to mention sand would hurt my skin from all that crawling.”</p><p>“Better stay in the shallow water then.”</p><p>“And you stay away from the ocean,” Arthur suggested with a chuckle. “I saw better swimmers than you drown. You’re helpless in water.”</p><p>“Just like you on land,” John pointed back.</p><p>“I can still protect myself on land, what can you do in the water without any of your loud weapons?”</p><p>“Swim as fast towards the land where it’s safe.”</p><p>“I swim faster than you, believe me. And so do sharks. Just stay on land, that’s your home. Yours and your weird legs.”</p><p>John laughed.</p><p>“I’ll stay away from your home, I swear.”</p><p>They smiled at each other. It felt weirdly surrealistic, here John was, talking to a merman, something that didn’t exist for him just a couple days ago, yet it was there, sitting beside him, smiling at him. He touched it, not only saw it with his eyes but he touched the creature, its tail was real just like John’s legs were to Arthur.</p><p>What he said earlier was true, he wasn’t here to make friends but he couldn’t help but be drawn to Arthur. Call it a curiosity or a friendship forming, but he actually had fun during this hour or so. He wasn’t expecting to have such a two way conversation, to feel like he was talking to another human, to laugh that many times, to want more of that.</p><p>He really liked Arthur as a person, not only an intriguing creature. He was funny, friendly and as curious about John as John was about him which was interesting on its own. It felt good talking to him, like with a good drinking buddy at the bar. John wouldn’t mind talking with him more, seeing him more. Not only to know about merpeople better, but just to spend a good time with an interesting person.</p><p>“I hope you won’t stay away from me,” Arthur admitted suddenly, shyly and avoiding John’s gaze who stared at him, surprised with such a bold statement. When Arthur looked at him again, the merman was blushing and his next words were almost murmured. “I would like to know you better. I always liked humans, you’re fascinating. I spend so much time around ships I learned one of your languages but I don’t know much about you. Maybe you could teach me some?”</p><p>John couldn’t believe his own ears. Teaching a merman about humans? Why? Why would he need that? He wouldn’t be able to use that knowledge anywhere, not with humans, not with other merfolks. Why bother? What was it supposed to even look like?</p><p>Not to mention John wasn’t the best person to teach about that. He knew nothing about teaching, he was no teacher, he was just a simple man, an outlaw, never educated in school, he lived away from normal society all his life, all he could teach Arthur would be about the gang, not living in a big city or anything else. Some scientists would be a better choice, someone who actually knew how the world worked.</p><p>John wouldn’t know how to start, what to tell, how to explain many things. Sometimes he barely understood life himself, how was he supposed to teach about the whole humanity? Not to mention it could turn awkward very quickly like today.</p><p>But John would lie if he said he wasn’t flattered by that request. Not that Arthur had any other choices but to ask him, but it was still nice of him to think of John as a right person to teach him about humanity and the life on land. He was feeling like a smart person right now.</p><p>Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad. They talked today and learned something about each other. Nothing big, John couldn’t really explain how legs worked and Arthur couldn’t explain how gills worked, but now they knew something more about each other, that Arthur even had gills, that they were both ticklish, that legs were stronger than they looked. Those were small things but with other small things they could create a whole picture that would help John and Arthur understand their species better.</p><p>And that would be a perfect excuse to spend more time with each other.</p><p>“I’m fascinated by you too,” John admitted, feeling it was the only right thing to do after Arthur opened up so much. He hated that it made him blush. Again. Arthur noticed but didn’t tease him about it, not when he was still blushing himself. They smiled at each other awkwardly. “I can tell you about humans, I don’t know how much you will get from me, I’m not an expert but we can try. If you teach me about merpeople.”</p><p>Arthur grinned happily, John couldn’t help but smile back, that smile was so damn contagious. It was hard to believe it could look like something from a nightmare.</p><p>“I’ll tell you everything you want to know,” Arthur promised him.</p><p>“Looks like we have a deal, partner.” John offered his hand but Arthur only looked at it confused.</p><p>“Are we greeting each other now?” he asked, his hands fumbling in his laps. If John could call it that.</p><p>“Lesson number one, people shake hands to seal the deal, not only to greet each other.”</p><p>“You said that funny.”</p><p>“Lesson number two, two words sounding similar is a rhyme.”</p><p>John smiled when he made the merman chuckle.</p><p>“We learn fast.” Arthur finally grabbed his hand firmly and shook it. The claws scratched John’s wrist but they didn’t hurt. “We have a deal.”</p><p>When they smiled again, it was more relaxed, without any previous awkwardness. John couldn’t believe he just made a deal with something that wasn’t human and yet he didn’t even feel weird about it, just good, happy. He could already tell they would be having fun learning more about each other and their worlds. Talking with Arthur was just so easy and he had a feeling Arthur felt the same about him.</p><p>Teaching would be easy as well. Maybe John wasn’t well educated like a scientist, but he had something they didn’t. Connection with Arthur. He had no idea where it came from, how it formed so quickly and if Arthur wouldn’t connect with any other human the same way if it wasn’t John who found him, but it was there and John had one more reason to come back.</p><p>“I’m getting hungry,” Arthur spoke up, and despite the fact that the merman was friendly and not dangerous at all, John still shivered at the thought of dead humans being one of the meals on Arthur’s menu. “I’m gonna catch us some fish. Wait for me.”</p><p>“I should probably get going,” John stopped him before the merman disappeared into water. “I told my friends I wouldn’t be gone long.”</p><p>“Oh,” Arthur breathed out disappointed. John was actually disappointed too. He wanted to stay and talk some more but he didn’t want to worry the gang. “Will you…”</p><p>“I’ll come back tomorrow,” he promised before the merman could finish his question. It made him relax again while John jumped off the rock. “I don’t know which time, but I’ll be back. You promised me some knowledge about your kind.”</p><p>“I did,” Arthur confirmed and gave John a soft smile. “Thank you for visiting me.”</p><p>“You’re welcome,” John responded and returned the smile, taking a few steps back while he was still watching Arthur. “That was fun.”</p><p>“It was,” the merman confirmed. “Well, see you tomorrow.”</p><p>“See ya’”, John said back and turned around, walking towards the path leading up the cliff. When he was about to cross the branches growing on the upper part, he turned around and saluted Arthur who was still watching him. The merman waved, leaned back and disappeared in the water.</p><p>John climbed the rest of the path and greeted Old Boy who was eating the grass growing around.</p><p>“Let’s go home, mister,” he said to the horse and climbed into the saddle.</p><p>Just before entering the camp, John realized he never stopped grinning like an idiot.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Writing Lesson</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Next day, right after breakfast, John picked up his saddle and got Old Boy ready for a ride. He wanted to visit Arthur again, see how he was doing, maybe teach him something about humans like he promised and learn something about merfolks in return before his visit to town later. He was going to find something to conciliate Dutch.</p><p>Eager to ride already, John returned to his tent for a hat, satchel and journal. With a gun belt hanging loosely on his hips, John returned to his horse. He just put the foot in the stirrup when Lenny came over.</p><p>“Where’re you heading, John?” the kid asked, looking like he was ready to go somewhere as well.</p><p>“Look around,” John answered hesitantly, putting his foot on the ground again. “I want to try to find something to rob.”</p><p>He didn’t know why he was feeling like a liar while he wasn’t lying, just not telling the whole truth. He didn’t need an excuse to leave the camp anyway, it was only his business what he was doing in his free time, he didn’t have to explain himself, even to Dutch.</p><p>“Want me to go with you?”</p><p>John looked into the direction where Lenny’s horse was waiting, already saddled. Kid must’ve been watching him when he was preparing Old Boy and did the same. </p><p>Any other time he would gladly take Lenny with him. He liked him, the kid looked up to him which was nice considering there wasn’t a big age difference between them and John couldn’t really be a mentor. But for some reason, Lenny thought of him highly and liked to work with him. John liked that too but he couldn’t reveal Arthur to him. Not yet, maybe even never. Not only could it be dangerous, he just wasn’t ready to share his discovery with anyone yet.</p><p>“Maybe another time, kid,” he told him with a sad smile. Lenny’s shoulders sagged.</p><p>“Sure, why not.”</p><p>Clearly disappointed, Lenny walked towards his horse and left the camp, heading into a completely different direction than John who finally climbed his horse as well and rode towards the bay. He felt bad about disappointing Lenny like that but the kid would be fine and John wasn’t lying about taking him another time.</p><p>The road to the bay was already familiar to John and soon enough he reached his destination and stopped Old Boy right by the path leading down.</p><p>“It’s thanks to you I found this place,” John said to his horse when he climbed down. Old Boy nosed him playfully on the chest. “If you weren’t such a coward, I wouldn’t even know about it.”</p><p>As if being insulted by John’s words, the gelding caught his hair and tugged causing some pain. John chuckled and gave the horse some sugar cubes to coax him into forgiving him. When Old Boy started eating grass around himself, John knew the ‘argument’ was over. He patted the horse on the neck and went down.    </p><p>Arthur wasn’t anywhere in sight when John could see the whole bay but that didn’t worry him. The second time the merman wasn’t there either but he still showed up soon enough. John would have to wait but he was okay with that, it would give him time to admire the bay some more since every time he was there, Arthur’s was the focus of his attention and not the place itself.</p><p>John put on some old boots today to not ruin his good ones even further than they already were ruined by sea water. He followed the wall of rocks on his right until he reached water. He continued then, still keeping his hand on the rocks until he got to the belt separating two different waters. He stared at it, wondering if Arthur was there, right under the dark surface, watching him. He didn’t feel watched so the merman was probably somewhere in the open ocean.</p><p>John looked around for a place where waves wouldn’t get him, though he didn’t think he had to worry about that, the ocean was pretty calm today, only soft waves were crashing on the rocks, unlike that day when he almost drowned.</p><p>He found a perfect spot anyway, in the far corner of the belt. John climbed on and sat down with his back resting on a big rock behind him. He pulled out his journal and placed it on his bent legs before starting to draw, trying to portray Arthur once again now when he knew what he looked like better. It was still a shitty drawing but working on it relaxed him. The soft scratching of a pencil on the paper and the sounds of the ocean were calming, he never thought he would think of the ocean as soothing, he had no idea why it was like that suddenly. It was so vast and who knows how deep, filled with not only sharks but deadly merpeople who liked to eat humans. If anything, John should feel more respect towards the ocean, fear it even more.</p><p>And he did, he still feared it, wouldn’t want to end in the water ever again but somehow he was feeling safe here in this bay despite deep water being right there, ready to swallow him whole if he fell into it. He hoped he wouldn’t, the rock he was sitting on was pretty wide, plenty of room for a human. He would have to be drunk or fall asleep to fall from it.</p><p>The weather was nice, hot but John wasn’t bothered by it thanks to the cold breeze coming from the ocean. Sometimes clouds would cover the sun, casting a shadow over the whole bay. It still looked beautiful, and John could feel his body regaining strength just by sitting in this wonderful place, listening to waves and seagulls somewhere in the distance.</p><p>John sighed and almost sunk into the rock despite it not being the most comfortable to sit on. It didn’t bother him and he continued drawing Arthur from memory. He was so lost in his work he didn’t notice how much time passed but that couldn’t have been long, his drawing was just a rough sketch when the merman finally showed up.</p><p>He startled John a little when he suddenly emerged from the water and climbed on the rock beside him. Arthur was grinning from ear to ear and John had no other choice but return that smile.</p><p>“What you got there?” the merman asked, pointing at the journal in John’s hand and leaning closer.</p><p>John, to his surprise, wasn’t bothered by the closeness. He didn’t even think about how easy it would be for Arthur to clamp his teeth around his neck and tear it to shreds. He was feeling comfortable. It probably had to do with their touching. If they didn’t hurt each other that time, why would they now?</p><p>There was still a possibility that Arthur was only playing with his food, even though it didn’t make any sense and John had a feeling it wasn’t like that at all. He probably shouldn’t, but he trusted the merman already. At least in terms of not being eaten by him.</p><p>“Just my journal for writing my thoughts and to document what I see during travels,” he explained to the merman and opened the journal on a random page with writing. He doubted Arthur knew it, because where would he learn it?</p><p>“You’ve been drawing?” Arthur asked again. He was sitting so close John felt the scaly hip touching his booth.</p><p>To have it easier for the merman to see, John changed his position and sat just like him, putting his legs in the water. He could feel the tail moving there, at some point the fin appeared on the surface before submerging again, quite far from the place they were sitting, at least three feet away. He was forgetting how long that thing was.</p><p>“Yeah,” John admitted and got back to the page he was working on, getting nervous when he realized what he was about to show Arthur. “I was drawing you, actually.”</p><p>Arthur peeked into the journal and frowned when he saw himself. John couldn’t blame him.</p><p>“It looks awful,” he said bluntly and John blushed right to the tips of his ears.</p><p>“Well I ain’t no Rembrandt.”</p><p>“Who?”</p><p>Of course he doesn’t know who Rembrandt is, idiot, John thought to himself.</p><p>“Doesn’t matter.”</p><p>Arthur shrugged his shoulders. “Can I try?”</p><p>“What? Draw something?” John asked, surprised. Arthur nodded and reached for the journal. “Not with wet hands.” The journal would be ruined in an instant, the paper wasn’t the best.</p><p>Arthur looked at his hands and without any words he wiped them on John’s vest.</p><p>“Hey!” he protested and moved away but it was already too late and Arthur took his journal and pencil. “You know how to draw?”</p><p>He wouldn’t know but he could imagine that drawing underwater couldn’t be easy.</p><p>“Where do you think these came from?” Arthur shifted, showing his tattooed arm to him.</p><p>“You draw them yourself?” It wasn’t probably that hard, Arthur was holding the pencil in his right hand so he was most likely right handed, reaching a left arm was easy but it was still impressive to John.</p><p>“More like putting them under my skin,” Arthur noted, focused on his drawing. When John tried to take a look, the merman raised his tail from the water and used its fin as a cover. John huffed and moved away, the tail returned to water.</p><p>“What do you mean putting under your skin?” he asked confused. Tattoos weren’t just drawn and then fixed when they got smudged or something? “How did you make them then?”</p><p>“I spent days stabbing my arm with the pointy end of a shell dipped in ink to put it under my skin,” Arthur explained with a steady voice while John’s face went white when all the blood left it.</p><p>“You did what?” he choked out.</p><p>“I was bleeding after each day,” Arthur kept saying, and John kept getting horrified by the idea of doing something like this to himself. And for what? Couple of drawings on the skin. “It was just putting small dots of ink under the skin, one next to another until they created the whole tattoo. I think it took me sixteen days to finish.”</p><p>Sixteen days of causing pain to himself! What was wrong with merfolks?</p><p>“Did it hurt?”</p><p>Stupid question, of course it hurt, he just said he bled.</p><p>“I got used to it after two days.”</p><p>Arthur checked on him and smiled before returning to work, seemingly not noticing how pale John was.</p><p>“Where did you even get the idea from?”</p><p>Humans were making tattoos as well but John doubted they were as crazy and were just hurting themselves like that only to have something on – under, his brain corrected, making John shiver – their skin.</p><p>“I noticed some humans doing it that way.” Humans were as crazy as merfolks apparently. John shouldn’t be surprised. “I was pretty young then.”</p><p>“How young?”</p><p>John realized then he had no idea how old Arthur actually was.</p><p>Arthur stopped drawing and scratched his beard. “I don’t know, I’m four hundred thirty two right now and…”</p><p>“How old?!” John interrupted him, looking Arthur over. It was impossible. Could it be that not only merpeople existed, they were also immortal?</p><p>“Four hundred thirty two,” Arthur repeated confused but also concerned while he stared at John. “You okay?”</p><p>Four hundred thirty two years. He was alive long before John was born, then any human living on this planet right now was born. Hell, the USA wasn’t even funded yet, nobody discovered the continent even! He was sitting by and talking to an ancient being. He was both intimidated and curious.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m fine,” he responded finally and looked Arthur in the eyes. They’ve seen so much. Was he really that old or was it just a joke? “You’re so old.”</p><p>Arthur snickered.</p><p>“I’m barely halfway through my life,” he pointed out and sketched some more. At this point John didn’t care what he was drawing, not after this age revelation!</p><p>“You’re still older than me,” John noticed. “I’m only twenty six.”</p><p>“That’s pretty young,” Arthur noted, looking even more shocked than John was just a minute ago. “I was sure humans grew slower.”</p><p>“Yeah, no joke,” John agreed, ignoring the second comment, not understanding what Arthur meant by that. They were growing slow. “I’ll probably die long before I even could reach hundred years.”</p><p>“Years?” Arthur squinted his eyes and thought for a few seconds until a sudden realization hit him and he laughed. “Oh, you thought I’m over four hundred years old.”</p><p>“You’re not?” So it was a joke! Bastard!</p><p>Arthur laughed again before explaining himself. “No, I was talking about moons, or months as you call it,” he explained with a chuckle. “I’m sorry, the way you handle time is still confusing to me.”</p><p>John groaned, not really sure if he was frustrated with Arthur for confusing him or with himself for thinking that any creature could really live this long. As if it wasn’t bad already, the merman let out another chuckle. When John turned sharply and glared at him, Arthur was already watching him amused.</p><p>“Sorry,” he said again. He was still shaking with laughter when he returned to his sketch.</p><p>John huffed, feeling the frustration leaving his body. At least he apologized, he thought.</p><p>“So, four hundred thirty two,” John said again and counted for a while in his head. “You’re thirty six years old.”</p><p>“Yup,” the merman confirmed and for some reason, John felt relieved. “I’m finished.”</p><p>John took the journal and pencil from him, expecting to see nothing more than what a child would draw but it was actually a pretty accurate image of the entrance to the bay that was in front of them. It wasn’t as detailed or smooth like Hosea’s drawings but it was far better than John’s. He was really impressed. And jealous. </p><p>“Where did you learn to draw like that?” He would have to tore the page out in case Hosea would like to check his progress again. John would never be able to explain how he could draw something so good and then commit a crime against art on the next page. “I mean, there is no paper underwater, right?”</p><p>“I don’t know if you noticed, but I can be on land too.” John shoved laughing Arthur with his elbow but couldn’t help and chuckle as well. “I draw on sand, with ink I used for my tattoo. I once found your ink as well, on a sunken ship. I used to steal paper from your… the place where you keep your ships.”</p><p>“Harbor?”</p><p>Arthur gave a half shrug. “Maybe. There was always paper there but stealing it was risky, I would have to go on all those wooden structures, get the paper and go back without anyone noticing. And swimming with paper is never easy.” </p><p>“You did good for someone with limited experience,” John praised. It would be a shame to tear the picture from the journal but he didn’t have any other choice. “Can you write too?”</p><p>“Not your language.”</p><p>John wasn’t surprised. Learning how to speak was always easier, there was a reason why every person knew how to speak but not everyone could write. But that was among humans who talk all the time, they hear their languages since birth, having plenty of time to get used to it and learn it, that’s why John was still impressed that Arthur learned everything alone just listening to humans on ships where there couldn’t always be an English speaking crew. He must’ve been really curious about the human world from a very young age.</p><p>“Do you have your own?” John asked curiously. “Writing I mean, you mentioned you have your language.”</p><p>He still wanted to know if Arthur’s real name was so hard to pronounce.</p><p>“Sure, talking underwater is limited.” Arthur reached for the journal again so John gave it to him with a pencil. The merman opened on the last page. “Mostly we just use our writing to tell others to stay away from our homes.”</p><p>“You attack each other?”</p><p>“It happens, but not often. We don’t like each other much but we are not aggressive or anything. We don’t have towns like you but we can live close to one another in small colonies, sell things to each other or work together we just…”</p><p>“Would rather not?” John finished for him. Arthur nodded and sighed sadly. “Must be really lonely.”</p><p>John felt sad for Arthur, the only one, or one of very few members of his species who like the company of other merpeople. It couldn’t be easy to live with them, feel unwelcome everywhere. He understood that, he was feeling just the same few days ago. Only his loneliness wasn’t as long as Arthur’s. No wonder he was willing to risk dying just to have someone, anyone to talk to.</p><p>“It was.” Arthur seemed more cheerful when he looked at John and showed him what he wrote in his journal. “Those are some of our signs we use. Each one of them has a different meaning.”</p><p>John looked at the page with drawn symbols. Those were circles with lines crossing them or other geometric figures. He saw waves, something resembling humans’ letter ‘S’ but laying on the side and with two lines coming from one of the ends. It was gibberish to John, just some silly drawings but he could bet so was the alphabet for Arthur. The merman probably didn’t even know how to write his own name.</p><p>“Looks like hieroglyphs,” John mentioned, touching some of the symbols.</p><p>“I don’t know what that is.”</p><p>“I’ll show you one day,” he suggested and smiled at the merman. “What does this one mean?” he asked and pointed at a small triangle trapped in two circle, one bigger than the other.</p><p>“I’m busy,” Arthur translated for him.</p><p>“And this one?”</p><p>“Don’t want to talk.”</p><p>John wondered if two is a pattern already.</p><p>“And this?” he tried again, hoping to hear something nice.</p><p>“I don’t like company.”</p><p>“You really aren’t friendly,” John chuckled to make it sound less sad than it was in reality. “You carve it on your homes?”</p><p>“On the rocks we have in front of our homes,” Arthur corrected him, still clearly down because of how his species was. “Usually every single one of them is outside at once.”</p><p>John couldn’t imagine not seeking company. He sometimes liked to be alone but live like this all the time?  </p><p>“Don’t you have any positive symbols?” John wanted to cheer him up somehow so he gave him the journal again. “I won’t believe you’re all rude all the time.”</p><p>“We ain’t, we greet each other, wish each other good day, say sorry if we bump into each other but we just don’t form any friendships outside of family members and if anyone tries, the signs tell them to get lost,” Arthur explained while drawing somethin<em> g. </em>John realized then, that Arthur probably didn’t have any family, that’s why he was lonely. “Here. That’s the most positive symbol I can think of.”</p><p>John looked at it, it reminded him of a butterfly. Unlike other symbols, it didn’t have any sharp edges.</p><p>“What does this one mean?”</p><p>“Love.” John blinked at him. “We put it in front of our homes when the newly mated pair decides to live together. Or when the baby is born. Even others open up more then, often give gifts but after a few days everything is back to normal. I’m sure there are merpeople that form friendships with strangers, we form some sort of loyalty in the colonies after all, but we’re so suspicious of every other merman it must be really rare to just find a friend.”</p><p>“Shit, that’s depressing,” John decided. It must be a torture to live so close to others but not be able to bond with them. For humans the only thing they often needed to do to talk easily was drink together. John was no expert when it comes to psychology, but he was sure merpeople would be capable of the same thing if it wasn’t for their untrusty nature Arthur mentioned.   </p><p>“I always envied your relationship with strangers,” Arthur admitted, looking blankly ahead. “Must be nice to just approach someone and chat.”</p><p>“I’m not gonna lie to you, we can be bastards too,” John told him. “Sometimes people tell me to get lost even before I can greet them. Or they’re rude when I do. It’s not like we’re all friends in this world. We kill each other in useless wars all the time.”</p><p>“Still better than living in a society that just ignores you,” Arthur sighed, rubbing his laps. “And it’s easier to talk then. You can’t really speak underwater.”</p><p>That made sense why merpeople weren’t the friendliest creatures. Must be frustrating to have so much to say but not being able to because it was impossible to speak words underwater, so why even bother? John wondered if merfolks would change their attitude if they could create colonies on land near water and have an ability to communicate better. Of course only if humans wouldn’t try to kill them or use them the moment they would discover them. John had no doubt that’s how it would look like. Wouldn’t be the first time humans destroyed other civilizations or used other humans. Charles' ancestors on both of his parents' sides were the biggest examples of that. Sometimes John was ashamed of being a human.</p><p>“So…” It was time to change the subject to something lighter. “Want to see human’s writing?”</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>Now it was John’s time to write something. He thought if he should write the whole alphabet but that was a lot of letters so he decided on something small.</p><p>“Here. It’s a short word.”</p><p>Arthur stared at it curiously, the previous subject already forgotten.</p><p>“What does that mean?”</p><p>“That, my friend,” John ignored the way Arthur looked at him with hope after calling him friend. Shouldn’t have used that, John thought. “Is how you write your name.”</p><p>“My name?” he asked and looked down on the word again, following it with his finger.</p><p>“That’s how you write it. Arthur.” John added, watching his reaction with a smile. “I assumed you never knew how to write it.”</p><p>“You assumed correctly,” Arthur answered with a smile. “What does your name look like?”</p><p>John wrote his full name and then every sentence Arthur showed him earlier. Arthur decided his symbols were better because they were shorter to write. They went back and forth, the merman showed him more positive symbols, usually meaning food. He also explained to John they didn’t write their names because it was impossible.</p><p>“What’s your real name anyway?” John asked after that. “It can’t be that hard to say.”</p><p>“For you? It is,” Arthur warned him smugly. “Wanna hear?”</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>Arthur didn’t even open his mouth when the deep, rumbling sound mixed with something like a whistle resonated around John, making his stomach turn like when he was sick. He could feel the lower tone in every one of his bones and the higher one ringed in his ears almost on the verge of pain despite being really pleasant.</p><p>John shook his head when the sound ended. He stared at Arthur, grinning and waiting for the verdict.</p><p>“That was your name?” One of these days he was going to guess a joke right. Maybe even now.</p><p>“We have an unique sound for each of us,” Arthur told him. “That’s the other way we communicate. It’s not really language, just sounds that we gave meanings to. We have a lot of sounds to talk but rarely do so. Mostly we use it for directions, to tell that a lot of fish are around and to warn each other. It can be heard for miles underwater so we always know where other merpeople are.”</p><p>“You sound like a whale,” John simply stated which made Arthur laugh.</p><p>“Yeah, I talk with them sometimes,” he admitted and John knew he wasn’t joking. “Of course we have a language to communicate on the surface too, but because we hunt mostly alone and rarely go to the surface these days it’s pretty primitive, doesn’t sound like yours.”</p><p>“We had hundreds of years of practice,” John pointed out. “But merpeople having basically three languages is still impressive. Even if it doesn’t improve how you communicate with each other.”</p><p>“Guess that’s how it’s supposed to be,” Arthur said resigned. He tried to sound like it didn’t matter to him but John could see sadness in his eyes. He really wanted things to be different. “Maybe we just weren’t made to communicate and I’m just a freak for wanting that.”</p><p>John didn’t think it was true, none of that.</p><p>“You are pretty strange from what I noticed so far,” John agreed with him. “But you ain’t no freak. People differ too, you know? I have a friend who doesn’t talk much and one that could talk your ears off.” He smiled thinking of Charles and Sean ever having a long conversation.” If you swim somewhere else, you’ll find people speaking different languages and having different cultures, wearing different clothes and acting differently. We’re all different in some way or another, we even have different skin colors but that doesn’t make us freaks. We’re all humans.”</p><p>No doubt people that were different were considered freaks by some but even them weren’t bound to be lonely all their lives. John’s gang was a proof that bunch of different people can live together, they weren’t always eye to eye with each other but they made it work, it was possible. He was sure merpeople could do the same, with or without language. After all, lions or dolphins didn’t need no language to stick together and care for each other, so why more intelligent species couldn’t do the same?</p><p>Arthur wasn’t convinced. “I don’t think that's how it it works with my species.”</p><p>“You met every merman out there?” John asked him, determined to give him so hope for encountering a friendly merfolk one day. “How far did you swim in your life?”</p><p>“I pretty much stick to this land. Never saw a merman from outside of my colony. Which I left a couple of…” He paused for a moment. “Years?” John smiled and nodded. “Years ago.”</p><p>“Ocean is big, Arthur, I’m sure there are merpeople that are actually friendly to each other, you just haven’t met them yet.” Hope sparked in Arthur’s eyes but he didn’t say anything so John continued. “Maybe it’s just merpeople from your colony that are unfriendly. That would make sense, I’ve been to towns full of people like that before, it’s not uncommon that tight societies are like that. Maybe if you go down the equator or west or east, you will meet completely different merpeople.”</p><p>He didn’t know from where all those words came from, why he wanted to cheer Arthur up so much, they weren’t friends, but it worked. Arthur’s smile was warm and his face was just screaming gratefulness at John.</p><p>But suddenly, Arthur’s smile turned into a smirk. “That was really sweet for someone who says he’s not there to be my friend.”</p><p>John gaped at him before he blushed furiously and practically growled at the merman.</p><p>“Shut up.”</p><p>Arthur laughed loudly and John rolled his eyes. He wasn’t looking at the merman till he felt a cold hand landing on his wrist. He looked at it and then at the owner of said hand.</p><p>“Thank you, John, really,” Arthur said without teasing this time, the corner of his lips curled slightly upward. “I’m really grateful for your words. I don’t know if they’re true but I’m glad you wanted to help. For whatever reason.”</p><p>John was still blushing but he didn’t turn his eyes from Arthur and returned his smile.</p><p>“You’re welcome.” It was just normal human decency to help those feeling down, he would do the same for anyone else. “Want to learn how to write your own name?” he asked out of nowhere but true to be told, he just wanted to change the awkward subject again.</p><p>Arthur took back his hand and smiled.</p><p>“I would like that.”</p><p>That wasn’t how he imagined the whole learning something from each other deal, but John would be lying saying he didn’t have fun teaching Arthur how to write his name and later, also the whole alphabet. In return, Arthur taught him merpeople symbols and made a few other sounds, sounding like something not from this planet.</p><p>It was completely pointless for both of them, it’s not like they would have an opportunity to use this new knowledge, but it was still interesting to learn all that, compare how different something was named in their respective languages. And it was fun to watch Arthur struggle with some of the words John was trying to teach him. The merman was fine with writing letters on their own but when it came to writing words, even with seeing examples beforehand, he was changing the order or putting different letters than he should. He had problems with how the words were spelled but pronounced something completely different.</p><p>“It just doesn’t make sense.”</p><p>“Yeah, I know the struggle.”</p><p>John had the same problem when he was learning how to write and read. It was a nightmare but he learned it eventually, Arthur would too with enough time. He learned how to speak English on his own, he was smart enough.</p><p>Arthur was irritated by him and his laugh but soon enough he was making fun of John in return when John tried to draw symbols but just like everything he tried to draw, it came out crooked. His hand was good for fighting and shooting, not creating, John decided when Arthur laughed he couldn’t even draw a straight line.</p><p>John elbowed him for that but the merman didn’t even feel it. Bastard, he thought and smirked, hiding behind his journal to try drawing that damn symbol again.</p><p>Before they knew it, it was past noon and John’s empty stomach started rumbling. It was time to go back, not to camp, he couldn’t come back empty handed again. Eating in the saloon and then walking around town on the other hand, seemed like a good idea for the rest of the day. He couldn’t just spend it whole with Arthur.</p><p>John had fun though. They didn’t learn much about each other today, not anything useful but to John it was still nice to just sit and forget about Dutch for a while. Hopefully it wouldn’t be needed anymore soon.</p><p>“Hey, you got it!” Arthur cheered way too enthusiastic, John had a suspicion he was still making fun of him but he just rolled his eyes and went with it. He looked down on the symbol he just drew, it still was crooked, nothing like the one the merman drew him as an example, but John was still proud of it. He was learning another language after all, that couldn’t be easy!</p><p>“Thanks,” he said and put the pencil in the journal before closing it. Arthur watched him curiously. “I should get going, got a little hungry. Didn’t expect to be here for so long.”</p><p>“We could eat together,” Arthur proposed shyly, very different from yesterday when he asked for the same thing.</p><p>“I don’t eat dead people,” John refused jokingly and tossed his legs to the other side of the rock belt, ready to jump down and get back to Old Boy.</p><p>Arthur wasn’t giving up.</p><p>“I wasn’t talking about dead humans,” he assured and already slid into the water. “I’ll catch us some fish.”</p><p>“Fish sounds good but…”</p><p>“Great, wait a few minutes for me.”</p><p>With an impressive speed, Arthur swam towards the end of the bay and dived right before the giant rocks covering the entrance, disappearing from John’s sight before he could finish his sentence.</p><p>“I can’t eat raw fish,” he said anyway and sighed, returning to sitting the way he was before Arthur showed up.</p><p>Going back now without a word would be rude, he might as well wait and then gently tell Arthur he couldn’t stay. He wanted to though. Talking with Arthur was easy and pleasant, not that talking with others in the camp wasn’t, but Dutch was there. Here John felt like he could breath without his father’s judging eyes on him.</p><p>While waiting for Arthur, John opened his journal again and reread everything they both wrote down in there. It was easy to recognize who wrote what word, Arthur’s writing style was messy, some letters sometimes looked too big or too small, but John’s tries at drawing symbols weren’t that much better. They both needed more practice.</p><p>John returned to the middle of the journal to write something about this day. Usually he was writing what happened in the evening or the next day but he decided to use the free time to note what happened so far.</p><p> </p><p><em> Went to see Arthur again. I was going to go to town after but he offered me dinner so I stayed. We learned each others writing or tried to. We’re terrible at it but I had a lot of fun today. Never thought learning how to write something would be entertaining, I hated it as a kid and today I tried to teach a merman a Latin alphabet. It went well, he mixes up letters but he can write his name. I felt proud of myself when he did that without looking over at the example. Maybe I’m not such a bad teacher as I thought. </em> </p><p> </p><p>On the previous page he left empty, he drew a couple of symbols out of memory and wrote down the translation under them. He smiled proudly when he checked if he was correct. Arthur wasn’t a bad teacher either.</p><p>He was thinking about starting another drawing of the merman when he heard a big splash and a second or two later something hit him on the face and fell onto his journal. Shocked, he quickly lifted the journal to keep it dry and looked down at a dead fish in his lap that was rolling down. John caught it before it could fall into the water but sacrificed the pencil to do so. He would have to ask Hosea for another one.</p><p>Still not grasping what was going on, John rubbed at his sore nose that now started to hurt and was slightly wet, just like the rest of the face. He wiped the water and looked straight at Arthur who was clearly smiling behind the fish in his mouth. He had his second teeth out to hold it.</p><p>“What the hell?!” John shouted at him. When Arthur got close enough, he could hear his laugh.</p><p>The merman climbed on the rocks and took a fish out of his mouth facing away from John, he only turned when his fangs were sheathed back in the gums. “Sorry about that. Didn’t mean to hit you on the face.”</p><p>John believed him but Arthur had too much fun with this to really be sorry about it like he said he was.</p><p>“That hurt,” John complained and rubbed his nose again. “Why the hell did you do that?”</p><p>“Sorry.” This time the apology sounded honest. “Needed a free hand. But we have dinner now.”</p><p>John didn’t recognize the fish, it looked like some kind of salmon. It was already dead, he noticed a pretty big hole in its head, most likely from Arthur’s claw.</p><p>“You caught them fast,” he noticed and put the journal back in the satchel.  </p><p>“Told you I was fast in the water,” Arthur bragged before becoming unsure. “Is it enough for you? I mean, you won’t be still hungry after eating it?”</p><p>The fish in his lap was quite heavy, he felt it on his face, must’ve been at least six pound, more than enough to sustain his hunger. But there was still one problem.</p><p>“I can’t eat it raw,” he finally said to Arthur who looked at him puzzled. “I need to cook it first.”</p><p>“Oh, over the fire,” the merman realized. “Well, can’t you do it here?”</p><p>He could, the fish being raw wasn’t really the problem, the need to go to town and find something for Dutch was. He really should’ve been going, he still had responsibilities towards the gang. Spending time with Arthur was fun but it shouldn’t take his time from the gang.</p><p>Then again, one more hour wouldn’t hurt anybody. It wasn’t like Dutch could find out about it and scold him for wasting time. Which he wasn’t. He had the right to free time, he was using it right now, along with a break for food. What difference eating in town would make anyway? He would still have to ride there and spend some time eating. At least after eating with Arthur he could start looking for a job right away.</p><p>“I need some wood first,” he said to Arthur who grinned at him. “And a dry piece of land.”</p><p>“Over there should be fine.” The merman pointed at the land hidden under the cliff above, there was a small beach there where water wasn’t reaching.</p><p>“Sounds good.” John handed the fish to Arthur and jumped to the shallow water. “I’m gonna get some wood for the fire and come back.”</p><p>Arthur nodded but he seemed nervous for some reason. John shrugged it off and went to collect wood up on the cliff. Branches growing by the path wouldn’t burn, they belonged to a living tree and were full of water, not a good kind of wood to start a fire.</p><p>He checked on Old Boy while he was up, the gelding was fine, he was walking around, sniffing at trees. He got happy when he saw John and received a treat from him, the horse even followed when John walked around picking up dead and dried branches, sticks, leaves, anything that could bur, from the ground.   </p><p>Old Boy obediently stayed when John told him to before returning to the bay. Arthur was waiting for him on the sand, fish laying right next to him. When merman saw him returning, he gave John a big smile, like he just didn’t see him five minutes ago because that’s how long John was gone.</p><p>John quickly dealt with making a fire and soon enough, flames appeared consuming the dried twigs, bark and leaves and he could start preparing the fish to be cooked while Arthur watched the fire with fascination.</p><p>“Never saw a fire from this close,” the merman admitted, reaching a hand towards it, but never too close. “It’s really warm.”</p><p>“Don’t touch it, you’ll burn yourself,” John warned just in case.</p><p>“Really? I wouldn’t have noticed. You planning to cook a fish over it is no clue at all,” Arthur scoffed.</p><p>John snorted at his offended tone.</p><p>“You don’t have fire underwater, do you?” It was a stupid question but after finding out merpeople were real, John was ready to hear that there was fire in the ocean as well.</p><p>“Kinda.” He knew it! “Some hot stuff sometimes leaks from earth. It boils the water around. We call it flaming rock.”</p><p>“It’s probably lava,” John explained. “We have it on land too, it erupts from volcanoes.”</p><p>“Really?” Focusing his all attention on John instead of fire, Arthur laid more comfortably on the sand, he was completely out of water, which didn’t seem to be a problem to him. Maybe John was wrong thinking he had to be wet all the time.</p><p>“Yeah,” he confirmed, sitting cross-legged on the other side of the fire. He wasn’t looking at Arthur to not hurt himself when he was getting rid of the scales from the fish and gutting it. “When I was ten, there was a big eruption somewhere in Indonesia I think. There was no lava but it was its doing. Almost the whole island was destroyed and the eruption was heard many miles away from it.”</p><p>“Sounds scary.”</p><p>“It is. Even before I was born another volcano erupted. There was no summer the next year.”</p><p>“It’s not that bad underwater. You just can’t get too close to the lava but after some time it just becomes a normal rock and it’s safe to swim around. It always draws a lot of fish.”</p><p>“Lucky you.” John finally cleaned the fish and after cutting it into smaller parts, he put them on a stick and held above the fire. “Why aren’t you eating?”</p><p>“I’m waiting for you.” Arthur shifted closer to John, leaning back on his hand and with his tail curled around the fire.</p><p>“Looks like your momma raised you right,” John joked and turned the fish over the fire. “I really thought you was going to drag a dead body to the bay.”</p><p>“Just because we eat humans doesn’t mean we eat only them,” Arthur explained, offended. “We mostly eat fish. They’re more common and easier to catch.”</p><p>“A fish that feels perfect in the water and humans who barely swim.” John considered it for a moment. “Seems like an easy choice to me.”</p><p>“You would be a terrible merman,” Arthur decided with a smile. “Hunting humans is risky, you’re almost never alone on boats and getting you from land could end with our death or you getting away and telling others about us.”</p><p>“Like I got away.”</p><p>“Well, I was hoping you won’t tell anybody,” Arthur admitted. “I’m glad you didn’t.”</p><p>He did, just nobody believed him.</p><p>“For someone who only eats dead bodies, you know a lot about hunting humans,” John noticed, feeling slightly uncomfortable.</p><p>“My daddy taught me.” A disgust appeared on Arthur’s face when he mentioned his parent. “He liked to hunt humans a lot, he rarely ate anything else. I hunted with him when I was younger but I was feeling bad about it so I was just catching fish. He didn’t like it.” Arthur raised his chin, showing two small scars that were there. “Slashed me with his claws once for not listening to him. He aimed for the eyes.”</p><p>“Jesus. Sounds like a mean sonofabitch.” He was sure only within humans were such bastard fathers. Guess he was wrong. “Is he dead?”</p><p>Arthur talked like he was but John couldn’t be sure.</p><p>“Yup, a shark got him when I was around thirteen.” He sounded happy about it, a small laugh even escaped him. “He was hunting humans and got eaten himself. Got what he deserved. Momma died much earlier, been alone ever since.”</p><p>John’s suspicions were right, Arthur had no family left and even before he lost it, he was living with a bastard for a father. His loneliness made sense now.</p><p>His fish was looking fine already so John brought it closer and with wary hands, took one piece from a stick and took a bite. It tasted okay, like any other fish. He didn’t have any spices or herbs to make it better so this would have to do.    </p><p>“So what else do you eat?” John asked after swallowing. Arthur was eating as well but he had no problem with either raw meat or scales, he just bit into the whole fish and ripped a chunk of it that he started to chew.</p><p>“Shrimps, octopuses, squids, crabs, pretty much everything.”</p><p>“Sounds disgusting.” He couldn’t imagine eating something that looked as disgusting as shrimps or octopuses. For some reason, it sounded even worse than eating humans.</p><p>“Oh yeah? What you eat, human?”</p><p>John chuckled when Arthur called him that like it was a swear.</p><p>“I doubt you even know those animals,” he warned before he started listing. “We eat pigs, cows, chickens, ducks, turkeys, everything that isn’t a predator, their meat is too hard to eat but we can do it if we’re desperate. We also eat plants, we can make whole dishes combining meat and plants. It’s actually complicated, don’t know if I can explain that.”</p><p>“We eat plants too,” Arthur mentioned before biting into the fish again. He was doing pretty good but John couldn’t shake off a feeling that the merman wasn’t used to eating it like that. “And some land animals if we find one dead in the water. But the best feast is when we find a dead whale.”</p><p>“Not a human?”</p><p>“I told you, we don’t eat humans that much.” Arthur sounded actually angry, his side fins started to twitch.</p><p>“Sorry, sorry.” The merman calmed down and his fins settled. “I don’t have anything with me right now but I can bring you some human food. I’m sure you’ll like it.”</p><p>“I would like that.”</p><p>They smiled at each other and finished dinner. John had some struggle with fish bones he needed to pull out many times if he didn’t want to choke. The same thing didn’t bother Arthur, the merman ate the whole thing with a head and a tail, and licked his lips after. John couldn’t help but notice his tongue was weirdly long but he didn’t mention it. </p><p>John felt full, that fish was definitely more than enough for him. After a meal like that he liked to wait a while before doing some work or even riding but he really needed to go. Before he could inform the merman about his plan, Arthur turned from his back to his side, with his head propped on a hand.</p><p>“Why did you come here anyway?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Why did you come here the first time?” Arthur clarified, waiting for an answer.</p><p>“Was looking for a peaceful place,” he answered truthfully. “I had some trouble at the camp where me and my gang are staying.” He should’ve probably explained to Arthur what gang even meant but the merman didn’t ask so it wasn’t important right now. “I felt like everyone wanted me gone so I did just that. I was riding my horse when he got spooked and I found this place while trying to find my way back.”</p><p>Arthur nodded in understanding, digging in the sand mindlessly. </p><p>“It must be hard to find,” he pointed out. “Like I said before, you’re the first human that ever came here.”</p><p>“It’s hidden well,” John agreed. He was lucky he found it. If he wasn’t taught to snoop around everything, he would’ve missed that place like any other human. “And I think locals have better things to do than walk around the cliff.”  </p><p>The merman nodded again, not looking very interested anymore.</p><p>“That trouble you mentioned, what was it?”</p><p>John hesitated before answering, wondering if he should tell Arthur who he really was. Chances were the merman wouldn’t even understand what being an outlaw means and even if he did, what could he do? He couldn’t just go to a sheriff. The worst that could happen would be Arthur scaring him away, telling him to never return because he didn’t like bandits.</p><p>That possibility actually worried John but he still decided to tell the truth. Arthur was honest with him so far, John could be too.</p><p>“I’m an outlaw,” he confessed and, as predicted, Arthur was confused. “That means I don’t obey the laws that society created, I live outside of it by stealing from others and doing whatever I want.”</p><p>“That doesn’t seem honorable,” Arthur pointed out, even more confused than after just hearing the word. “Why would you steal from other people, they need money like you.”</p><p>“I only steal from rich people” he justified himself. “We actually share money with poors and try not to kill innocent people. Rich have more than enough money to share.”</p><p>Arthur didn’t look convinced but he wasn’t judging either.</p><p>“Anyway,” John continued, “We were robbing a bank a few days ago but everything went wrong, my friend got hurt, we left without money and everyone blamed me, including a man that saved my life and raised me. He’s like a father to me. I couldn’t handle it so I left the camp and found you.”</p><p>“I’m sorry to hear that you were treated like that,” Arthur admitted with sympathy in his voice.</p><p>“Thanks.” Talking about it with a stranger was kind of liberating. Hosea already told him not to worry but John couldn’t help it, it was too important to him. “My other father figure told me that Dutch won’t be angry forever but what if he does? He could always count on me and now he felt like I disappointed him. Maybe he will never forgive me.”</p><p>All of this just came out of his mouth, he couldn’t stop the words. It wasn’t even Arthur’s business, the merman couldn’t help him but John just felt he could tell him about his problem. Just like Arthur shared his with John. Having an outside perspective couldn’t hurt, it seemed to help Arthur despite John being clueless about merpeople just like Arthur was clueless about relationships between humans.</p><p>“I’m sure he will,” the merman assured him, once again getting closer and sitting next to John so their eyes were on the same level. “You called him your father, he won’t stay angry forever.”</p><p>“Being a father doesn’t mean you can’t be a bastard to your children,” John informed him. “Your father was a bastard to you.”</p><p>“But you don’t hear me talking about him with any other emotion in my voice than hate.” John blinked at him. “You talk of him fondly, so you have a close relationship, right?”</p><p>John shrugged. “I guess.”</p><p>Dutch certainly cared, but he cared about everyone in the gang. John happened to be his favorite but he wouldn’t call their relationship close, John was always closer to Hosea with whom he shared many interests. Still, Arthur was right, or at least John hoped he was.</p><p>“Then he will forgive you,” the merman promised him, even though he couldn’t make that promise. He didn’t even know Dutch or how their relationship looked before the heist. Hell, Arthur was talking with him now because he never had a normal relationship in his life, he was no expert. And yet John believed him. Or wanted to believe him. Either way he was feeling better about the whole thing with Dutch. Another person was telling him it would be okay and that was something he needed to hear, even if it would turn to be a horseshit. “You just need to give him time, he probably feels as bad as you about all this.”</p><p>“That’s what my other father said as well,” John admitted and smiled shyly at Arthur. “Thank you. It made me feel better.”</p><p>It was good to share his problem, be heard and understood. Maybe Arthur didn’t know anything about Dutch and him, but he listened. It was like talking to a barkeeper while drunk, only Arthur really cared, John didn’t know why, but he cared. He could see it in merman’s eyes.</p><p>“It’s the least I could do after you cheered me up.”.</p><p>“For a fella who lived between bastards, you sure know a lot about cheering people,” John chuckled while Arthur frowned angrily at him. It was so easy to irritate him, just as easy as making him happy. John liked that, it was fun to play with him. And Arthur deserved that for the similar situation from earlier. That was another thing John liked between them – teasing. “But really, thank you. You didn’t have to help me and assure me that a person you don’t even know will forgive me.”</p><p>“Maybe I didn’t have to but I wanted to,” Arthur shrugged. “It feels right.”</p><p>“Can’t argue with that.” The more time he was spending with Arthur, the more alike they both looked to him. No wonder they connected so fast.</p><p>They sat like that for a while, just enjoying the silence and how calm this place was. Arthur waved the fin of his tail lazily and John tracked its movements, watching the scales sparkle whenever the tip would get under the light. The sun was still high in the sky but it was lowering with each passing minute. John checked the time, it was way past 2 PM already, he wasn’t expecting it to be so late.</p><p>“I should be going.”</p><p>Arthur looked at him alarmed from his place next to John.</p><p>“Can’t you stay more?” he asked, watching John put out the fire. He probably didn’t need to, there was nothing there that would burn down, it was just a habit from camping in the woods.</p><p>“Sorry, I have some things to do in town,” he explained and picked up his satchel from the ground. “I probably won’t be back for a couple of days. I have work, need some money for the gang.”</p><p>They still had some but it wasn’t nearly enough to feed so many people.</p><p>“Oh,” the merman breathed disappointed. “But you will come back?” he asked hesitantly.</p><p>“Sure,” John assured him with a smile, adjusting his gun belt. “See you around, Arthur. I had fun today.”</p><p>That made the merman feel a little better but it was obvious he didn’t want John to go. John didn’t want to go either, he really liked the place and enjoyed the company, he felt welcome here and that was something he missed recently in the gang, even if only from Dutch right now. But he had to go, he would come back in a few days, after he would make sure that the gang was secure enough to handle things without him. As always everything was on his shoulders but this time it had to be if he wanted to make Dutch forgive him.</p><p>“Me too,” Arthur said and crawled after him to the path. John felt strange when the merman was doing that, not the following, just being this low to the ground while John was standing. “Come by any time, even if I’ll be hunting I should be back soon.”</p><p>“Just don’t throw another fish at me, my nose still hurts.” Arthur laughed at him, John hid his own smile behind the hand he was rubbing his nose with. “Be well,” he said and started walking away.</p><p>“You too!”</p><p>John heard Arthur returning to water and then jumping into it. He watched to see if merman was going to show up but he didn’t so John climbed the rest of the way, mounted a happy Old Boy and they headed to town.</p><p>He was sure he was going to find some opportunity for a robbery but after four hours he was still unlucky. The town wasn’t small by any means but it wasn’t the biggest either so it was unlikely there was any riches here. They could always rob a bank but that would bring the law on them instantly and John didn’t want to move yet, not until Sean would be capable of walking by himself.</p><p>He listened to people in the saloon in hope he would hear something interesting but it was too early for that, no one was drunk and there weren't even that many people apart from working girls that cleaned during the day. Shops didn’t look like they were full of cash so he didn’t even bother with them, only entered one to buy some cigarettes. He smoked one through the rest of his tour around the town. The only thing he found was a market full of stinky fish. He regretted leaving Arthur so early but he couldn’t really go back so he just returned to camp.</p><p>Dutch watched him from his tent when he was dismounting and unsaddling Old Boy. The older man probably waited for some tip about heist but John came empty handed despite his best effort. He felt sick and angry at himself.</p><p>Avoiding the leader he quickly dashed through camp and hid in his tent. He was planning on staying in it for the rest of the day but others invited him to play poker with them. Having nothing else to do, he agreed and sat with his friends around the table.</p><p>They were having fun playing, drinking and talking, just like any other day they would but John couldn’t help but feel like he would rather be doing something else. Apart from happiness, John was aware of another feeling in him that was never there before when he was with friends.</p><p>Longing. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>John's already missing his soon-to-be-boyfriend.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Reconciliation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Lenny startled when John tossed the kid’s hat at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John?” he asked, confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pack up, we’re going to search for a job,” he told the kid and went to get himself ready too. He heard Lenny jumping from a chair he was sitting on and running after him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are we going?” the kid asked again, trying to keep up with John’s long strides.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John stopped and turned to him. Lenny almost crashed into him, not expecting the sudden stop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wanted to join me yesterday,” John reminded him and smiled. “Well let’s go then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t find anything?” Lenny continued following him when he resumed his walking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They finally reached John’s tent where everything was ready. He picked his holster and faced Lenny who was standing at the entrance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing promising,” he lied. Maybe today they’d have better luck and actually find something. It wasn’t the best time of the day again, if anything, it was even worse, not even being noon yet but that would just mean they’d have a harder time to find something, not that it’d be impossible. At least John hoped so because he really needed something to show to Dutch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That’s why he didn’t go to see Arthur today, just like he told the merman he wouldn’t. John would rather be at the bay right now, to be quite honest. He had nothing against Lenny but they were friends for a few months now, while he only knew Arthur for a couple of days and didn’t know him that much yet. He was too curious about the merman to care about anything else right now but John knew his responsibilities and that was providing for the gang.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, let’s go then!” Lenny exclaimed excitedly and rushed to get ready as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John watched him go with a smile and finished his preparation. He wasn’t taking much with him, just the usual but at the last minute, he decided to take his rifle as well. He was usually only taking it on jobs, not for scouting missions when you need to look friendly and trustworthy to get some information, but he was thinking about going hunting in case they couldn’t find any job. At least Dutch wouldn’t be able to say they returned empty hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With the rifle tossed over his arm, John headed towards the horses where Old Boy was already waiting, saddled, same with Lenny’s horse Maggie. John talked to his horse a little to pass the time until Lenny finally joined him, surprised that Maggie was ready for the ride.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You saddled my horse?” Lenny asked teasingly. “You were this eager for my company?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“O’Driscoll’s boy saddled her,” John explained, smirking when mounting up. To their right, Kieran, who was tending to other horses, mumbled about not being an O’Driscoll. “You ready? Got everything?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What else could we possibly need for this?” Lenny patted his gun and that was it, he wasn’t taking anything else with him like John. The reason it took him so long to get here was the fact that he changed clothes for some reason.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, let’s ride,” John commanded and went first, Lenny right after him. Only after they entered the main road, the kid caught up to ride right by John’s side. “You’ve been to town beside that one time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Lenny answered, watching him. Their horses entered the slow gallop. “We’re heading into town? I thought you checked that place already.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but I didn’t find anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why try again then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you’re smarter than me and will actually find something,” John suggested with a humor in his tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hosea would say everyone is smarter than you,” Lenny noticed with a grin. John snorted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not Bill.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, not him,” the kid agreed and looked ahead. “Can’t believe you didn’t find anything, you’ve been in the town a whole day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John blushed and fiddled with the hat on his head to cast some more shadow on his red cheeks. Sometimes he missed the time when his scars were fresh and red and no one could even tell if he was blushing or not. But only sometimes. He wasn’t missing the itching that accompanied the swelling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well… I wasn’t lucky, I guess,” John tried to explain himself without admitting that he spent half of the day in a completely different location doing nothing. “Talked to wrong people.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll find something today,” Lenny promised him. “It’s always easier when two people are doing the asking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Quite opposite,” John told him. “But it’s not a very small town so maybe no one will notice two fellas asking a lot of questions.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The town wasn’t very far from the camp, it took them less than half an hour to get there. It wasn’t very crowded, probably because of the sun that was very unforgiving today, John could already feel his shirt sticking to him because of the sweat. Good thing he didn’t put on any vest like yesterday. He was missing the cool breeze at the bay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think we’ll be very lucky today either,” Lenny noticed when they rode through town.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>People were sitting on their porches or in any other place that was giving them shadows. Even dogs, usually barking at people riding on the streets, were hiding from the sun, panting like they were already cooking alive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” John agreed and nodded towards the drinker placed in front of the shoemaker’s place. Old Boy and Maggie started drinking before John and Lenny had the chance to hitch them to the post. Animals were taking it hard as well. “Let’s walk around, see what we can find.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“More sun?” Lenny suggested and took off towards some guys sitting on the yellow grass between two buildings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John had chosen the opposite direction and squeezed between two other buildings, getting to the other side of the town. He just walked out on the street when a bunch of people left the small church standing at the end of the road. The crowd quickly spread after being cramped inside for so long, one lady even looked like she was going to pass out but her husband/beau or whatever, caught her under the arm and helped her to the shadow. John sighed and moved again. Only a few people were working in such heat, those who didn’t have any choice and had to work while their bosses were drinking cool water taken fresh from the well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John stopped by it and took a drink himself, right from the bucket. He splashed some on his neck and face as well but it quickly evaporated from his skin. He didn’t even start looking for any jobs and he already had enough, he wanted to go to the sea where it wasn’t so hot. He envied Arthur who could just sink to the bottom of the ocean, not caring about the sun above.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wonder what’s he doing,” John mumbled to himself and started walking, not really knowing what to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was never good at questioning people about jobs, he preferred to watch for an opportunity or overhear something. A gossip about gold there, glimpse of lost security here. That was something he could work with, talking with people was always harder, even a little awkward. He never knew what to tell to make the other person spill what he wanted to hear, that was always Dutch and Hosea’s job, he was just a gunman who was supposed to see the opportunity when it was being presented to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He only even felt comfortable talking to folks when he was sure he was smarter than them or when he was sober and they were drunk. There was no drunk people around and he couldn’t just tell by looking at them if they were stupid or not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lenny was probably already charming people and finding about every dirty little secret this town had and here John was, helpless like a lost child. And he was supposed to be more experienced. Not with this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed again and checked the small port where locals kept their boats. He was telling himself he was doing it to ask fisherman about something interesting but the truth was, he just wanted to get closer to water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John stopped at one of the three piers and leaned against the post with a lantern on top. He was already feeling better with a cool air coming from the water. Some man worked around him, cleaning their nets or picking up cut fish heads and tails, taking it with them somewhere. A lot of seagulls and other birds were flying around, snatching some of the food and flying away. Some fell into the water where other fishes were feeding on it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John watched them for a while before he pulled a smoke out of the satchel and lit it, watching the ocean ahead, wondering again what Arthur was doing right now. Was he swimming there somewhere? Not close enough to get noticed but enough for him to watch his favorite humans? Would he see John from so far?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shaking his head, John took a drag of his cigarette. Arthur probably wasn’t swimming around here right now, he could see two boats in the distance, the merman wouldn’t risk that much. But maybe other merfolk were there, waiting for an opportunity to strike and drag unaware humans underwater.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yesterday, John felt calm sitting by the water, there was nothing left of that calmness today, the ocean was just scary again, he even felt uncomfortable standing on the pier. Didn’t Arthur tell him merpeople were capable of climbing those? He could imagine one of those creatures sneaking around at night, dragging its big tail behind itself, getting closer to some poor bastard that fell asleep there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even he wasn’t safe right now, not standing this close to the water. One hard tug and he would end in the water, fast enough that he wouldn’t even be able to scream for help. It sent a shiver down his spine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He quickly turned around and walked away. John knew he was probably overreacting, nobody believed him when he was asking around about Arthur so no merfolk ever attacked anyone here. Nobody even disappeared because people would’ve mentioned to him in relation to his question about Arthur. People loved to explain stuff like that with fairy tales. Only it wasn’t a fairy tale this time, it was real and the living proof of that was swimming not so far from the town.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was walking around the town without a purpose, feeling like a complete idiot who couldn’t even help his gang anymore. Maybe Dutch was right saying he was getting sloppier. He was sure Lenny already found something or someone to rob and even if not, at least he was trying, John couldn’t do even that. He was never the most brilliant person in the gang but it was never this bad. It looked like he was good only at shooting nowadays, he was always good at that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he had no one to shoot without any job and he wasn’t looking for any, just feeling sorry for himself. He had enough. He could still do his job, he could still find something worth robbing, just like he found the job before the failed bank heist. Maybe he wasn’t as good with words like Hosea, couldn’t really sweet talk man into revealing secrets like Mary-Beth or Karen or wasn’t comfortable enough to just talk to people like Lenny was probably doing right now, but he had sharp eyes and ears, and he was perfect at picking out the best house to rob and later, also providing with the plan to do so.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John stopped for a moment and when he started walking again, this time it was with purpose. He didn’t talk to people but he watched them, what they were wearing and how they looked. Were they well dressed and pale, or wearing rags and were burnt by the sun from working all day? If they were buying, what was it, just the essentials or completely useless but nice stuff?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without pitying himself, John finally noticed everything he was missing. He noticed a couple of wealthier people, women with nice necklaces on their necks and men with fancy watches in their pockets. If it was a bigger town, a city even, and he wasn’t just parading on the streets for the past hour, he would’ve robbed one or two people that caught his attention already. Two women probably, they were never fighting when they were being robbed. Surprising them in some corner and pointing a gun at them was always enough to make them give John their jewelry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not being able to do that, John just walked some more, remembering where he saw wealthier people, in which houses they were living. He had a good memory for that, he still remembered the best houses to rob from the town the gang had been in three months ago.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John eventually ended up opposite the church he saw earlier. He was so focused on the crowd he only now noticed the gold cross at the top of the roof. There was probably more of that inside, how did he notbnotice it yesterday?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tossed the butt of the cigarette on the ground, stepped on it and headed to the church, acting like he was just going there to pray, though he probably didn’t look much like a religious person. The doors were open and he stepped inside, closing it behind himself to know when someone would walk in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The church looked even smaller on the inside. To not look too suspicious, John knelt in one of the bench rows to be ready to pretend he was praying in case anybody would come in. The size of the building was on his side, he didn’t have to walk around to check everything. There was nothing really interesting in the area where people were sitting, but the place that the priest was using during mass? Now that looked interesting. There was a big painting of Jesus on the cross hanging on almost the whole wall but that wasn’t what caught John’s attention. No, it was a cabinet under the painting, partially hidden behind the altar. John could see a heavy padlock attached to it that he could bet he’d be able to open with a picklock, maybe even now if he had Lenny with him to keep the gourd.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe some other time, John thought, and looked around some more. Some of the painting would probably be worth something but he hated stealing art, it was always problematic to carry. There was nothing else interesting so John stood up, deciding to come back another time, maybe even with Lenny.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Jesus,” he said to the painting and left the church with a smile on his face. He finally felt useful, what he found wasn’t that good, bringing Arthur to Dutch would surely be a better peace offering but the church was a start. With this, wealthy people he’d seen and what Lenny no doubt found too, John could finally show up at the camp with pride and maybe, just maybe, Dutch would be proud too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In a far better mood than at the beginning, John returned to the place he and Lenny split up. The kid was nowhere to be seen and John wasn’t very fond of the idea of looking for him so he just checked the horses and moved them in the shadow. They didn’t deserve to sit under the blazing sun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He found a perfect spot with another drinker, left the horses there and returned to the well to have another drink himself. He could use a bath, he was tempted to pour water on himself, he was sure he’d dry off in a few minutes and no one would even have anything to say about this. In fact, before he reached the well, he saw few boys, around ten years old, doing just that. Maybe a grown man doing the same would be considered too weird.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John just drank for now and after wetting his hair, he visited the general store just like the other day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello, again,” a shopkeeper welcomed him, an older black man who was quite chatty but also very polite and nice. “Same as yesterday?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John still had the pack of smokes, he wasn’t smoking that much but since he was already here…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, why not,” he responded and took a look around. He was thinking of buying a few supplies for himself, he could use a new tin of coffee. The one in the camp was for everyone but John liked to drink during his travels and he thought about introducing the drink to Arthur at some point.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The clerk was filling the silence with his talking. While walking around the store, John listened only to every fifth word or so, sometimes humming back or nodding to not look as rude as he was being.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After picking up some canned vegetables and beef jerky along with the coffee he took earlier, John brought everything to the counter and waited for the clerk to sum-up the price. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That would be five dollars,” the man said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John fished in his satchel for the wallet he had there somewhere. When he found it and pulled it out, his attention was caught by some maps on display. They could use a map of the surrounding areas that would help a lot with planning future robberies and escape routes from the scene.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How much for the map?” he asked while already going through them. There were a lot of maps here, far more than he expected to find in a small town that probably wasn’t visited much by travelers. They didn’t even have a hotel in here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A dollar,” the clerk answered. “Though it’s not very useful, the area here is easy to remember. Riding around for a day or two would help you the same.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shouldn’t you be convincing me to buy it?” John asked, making the clerk chuckle.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t like selling things to folks that they don’t need,” the man explained, watching John pulling out one of the maps. “You still want one, sir?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s only a dollar.” John added the map to the pile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My boss will be happy, he has been trying to sell those maps for two months now. One sold, nine more to go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John laughed. “I would buy them but I don’t really need them all,” he said and finally pulled his money but once again he was interrupted by something he saw, this time a big book with black cover and title written in red. “Can I see that compendium?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure thing.” The clerk turned around and took the heavy book from the top shelf where it was standing among other books, including one written by Evelyn Miller. John wondered if Dutch had it and if giving it to him would make the leader happy. “It’s a little old, five years I think. It was written by some biologist and traveler.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John went through the book, categorized by classes and continents. There were animals of both Americas, Europe, Africa, Asia, Australia and Antarctica. Every enormous chapter was about animals from one of the continents, starting with mammals, reptiles, birds, insects, fish and ending with amphibians. Each animal had a small note written about them, some known better had more about them, where to find them, what they eat and other facts and characteristics. But the best part was the colorful illustrations after every couple of pages. Two whole pages with animals drawn one next to another. When he opened the reptiles of Africa, he saw at least twenty snakes drawn next to a bunch of lizards and crocs, showing how some of the animals that had been put in the compendium looked like. Next to each drawing there was a number and the list of the drawn animal was under the illustration.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He skipped to the previous chapter, carnivore mammals, cats to be exact. Lion, male, female and a cub, two cheetahs, an elusive leopard, some other cats he didn’t know but after checking the list it told him one of them was called a caracal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You like it?” the clerk asked, probably when he saw the look on John’s face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s amazing,” John admitted, still going through the compendium. There were animals he never heard of and those he knew a lot of because he hunted them. He had no idea there were so many insects on Earth. Or this many horses! “God damn, they have some pretty horses over the ocean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a good book if you hunt, mister,” the clerk suggested, this time trying to convince him to buy. John needed no convincing, he was going to purchase it. “It can help you recognize any animal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was sure it’d be useful for that but he had a better use for it. Arthur would love that book. He’d be able to see animals he never saw before, find out what lived on land and John would teach him everything about the animals he knew about. And read him every note on animals he didn’t know. They could learn together! And while Arthur surely didn’t have something similar about sea animals, the merman could still teach him about them in return.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How much?” he asked, already excited about showing it to Arthur. Hell, he wanted to read the compendium himself but he was going to wait for another meeting with Arthur. He could already imagine the merman’s face when he sees all those animals. He won’t believe some of those creatures are real. Or maybe he won’t be surprised at all, maybe weirder things lived in the ocean.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Either way, Arthur would love it and after seeing it, that stupid, wide grin would appear on his face, John was sure of it. He already couldn’t wait to show it to the merman, he was tempted to go to the bay right now but he couldn’t just drop everything and leave without Lenny. Showing compendium to Arthur would have to wait for tomorrow. John was going to stay away from the bay for two days to not give Arthur hope they were friends or something and to help around the camp, but he couldn’t wait that long now. He was never that patient anyway, not with something that was exciting for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Five dollars, but it’s worth the price.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a lot, but John pulled a bill from his wallet without hesitation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks’ a lot, and see you,” he said to the man and with a big smile on his face he left the store, rushing to his horse to pack everything. That’s where Lenny found him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Could’ve told me you moved the horses, I thought they’ve been stolen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t know where you was, didn’t want to look,” John explained and turned to his friend. “You found something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure did.” Lenny looked very proud and excited. “I stumbled upon a sheriff and his deputy, they were eating breakfast at the saloon and talking about something interesting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be so mysterious, it’s annoying,” John told him with a smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The sheriff was complaining about a stagecoach that will be going through here in five days.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” John nodded. “What will it be transporting?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Army’s pay,” Lenny said in a hushed voice to not alarm anyone else. “There is a fort up north from here but there is no rail road connected to it, the closest station is in Whetstone, that’s why they transport the pay with stagecoaches.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They gonna ride through town?” John asked. It sounded promising but also dangerous. A normal stagecoach was dangerous enough, but the one transporting money for the army? They’d have to plan everything to the smallest detail if they wanted to rob that thing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Around it, but the sheriff and his deputies are supposed to keep people away from the road and make sure no one is standing on the roofs or anything,” Lenny explained and pointed east. “The road is back there, right next to town.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Show me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walked there and John looked around. It was just a normal road, perfect for people who didn’t want to stop in town and wanted to just pass it. It was very open, no natural or man built barriers to hide behind, only houses about fourteen feet away on the left. It wouldn’t be impossible to rob the stagecoach when it’d be going through here but they’d have to deal not only with the guards but also with the law and some of the locals who would be happy to put a bullet in some outlaw’s head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We could rob the stagecoach before it enters town,” Lenny suggested, still being careful about being heard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John shook his head. “Too close to the camp, we’d have troubles getting there safely,” he noted and took his hat to sweep the sweat from his forehead with his forearm. “And the sheriff will be ready to jump in if he hears shooting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But if we attack after they pass the town, we’ll have to worry about the army in the fort.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John put his hat back, held the compendium under his armpit and pulled a map he just bought from his satchel. He didn’t expect to use it so fast. He quickly located the town and the fort, and checked the road between those two. It looked like a long ride, an hour long? Maybe more with a loaded stagecoach. One look at the scale confirmed this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll have time to rob it without alarming the whole army,” John told Lenny and showed him the map, pointing at the road. “If we catch them here, they should be far enough from the town to not alarm them as well. And if we do, the sheriff won’t be ready for an attack anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’ll let their guard down,” Lenny guessed. John nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Guard as well,” he added. “This close to their destination, they’ll think more about finally taking some break than about watching for dangers. We surprise them, get the money and run through here.” He patted the place on the map where a small road was going from the one leading to the fort. “It leads through the forest, we can easily spread out there and lose the chase if anyone will be alive after we’re done. Then we meet at the camp after an hour or two.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You got it figured right one the spot,” Lenny noticed with awe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not my first stagecoach, kid,” John chuckled and put the map back in the satchel. “Let’s ride and see the road. Maybe we can find a perfect spot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure.” They returned to horses, mounted up and headed towards the fort. “You got something too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Found some rich folks. And church looks promising as well,” John answered, holding the reins loosely in one hand and the compendium with another. It was too big to fit in saddle bags so he was just holding it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s with the book?” Lenny eyed the compendium curiously. “I know you like to read sometimes but never saw you buying a book.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was glad for the hot weather and that he was already red on the face, because he was sure he’d blush.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He thought of giving Lenny the same reason the clerk was using, but John was never a big hunting enthusiast and didn’t care that much about other animals than those that could keep his belly full.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thought I could use drawings in there for references.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t you just watch real animals?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Real animals move, they’re terrible models,” John joked and Lenny chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they eventually reached the place where they wanted to set the ambush, they checked everything around to be sure it’d be safe for the group to escape with the money. It was a perfect spot, if they kill every guard, they’d have time to grab the money and escape without anyone running after them. Before the sheriff or the army reach the stagecoach, the gang would already be gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was already planning the whole thing, considering who he should take for the job. Lenny was obvious, he was the one who found out about the stagecoach but who else should join them? He would have to think about that later, there were so many good gunslingers in the gang he’d have to think it through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead of going back to camp right away, John invited Lenny to hunt with him. The kid agreed right away and they spent the rest of the day on tracking various animals before John finally shot the doe and they slumped it on Maggie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was feeling great during the ride back to camp. He was feeling the same when he was returning from his last two meetings with Arthur but that was because of the time he spent with the merman. This time he was happy because he couldn’t wait to show Dutch what he and Lenny found. Hopefully the stagecoach job and a nice doe would be enough to make the leader happy again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They entered the camp and dismounted. Lenny got to the doe right away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll take it to Pearson,” he said and tossed the carcass on his arm before walking away with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was left alone by the horses, nobody really greeted them, it was evening so everyone was getting ready to eat. Pearson was just finishing cooking something but he ignored the stew for now to praise Lenny for catching the doe. John heard his name as well but he didn’t bother to go there and listen to the nice words about himself. He had more important matters to attend to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked towards Dutch’s tent, it was closed, the lamp inside was lit and he could see Molly walking around while Dutch was sitting on his bed. John really wanted to go there, tell the leader about the job with Lenny but he didn’t want to interrupt and make things worse.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Disappointed, he tended to Old Boy and when the horse was settled, John went to his tent to unpack everything. He was just placing compendium in a safe but visible place to not forget it tomorrow, when he felt the hair on his neck standing up. He turned around with compendium still in his hand and sure enough, Dutch was standing there in the entrance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John gulped. He didn’t know what to expect and if he should say something, like that he found a job.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dutch dealt with this problem himself by speaking first.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I talk to you, son?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John looked at him unsure, feeling a little pride settling in his chest when he heard how Dutch called him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he breathed and carefully sat down on his cot while pointing at the chair but the older man only walked in and stood in front of John, looking at anything but him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was nervous about it. Though he was eager for this talk just a couple of minutes ago, now he was scared. Their last conversations didn’t go smoothly. Dutch didn’t look mad anymore, he actually looked just as nervous and a little apologetic but who knows if he wouldn’t yell again. And even if not, he could still say how disappointed he was. John didn’t ask him what he wanted to talk about, he just waited patiently for Dutch to speak first, hoping the leader had enough of this tension between them as much as John. Or that he would at least let John tell him about the job after he stops scolding him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to apologize, John,” Dutch said after what seemed to be an hour while in fact it was just a minute or so. John watched him with hope and Dutch looked right back. John had a feeling right then that they would be okay. “It wasn’t right of me to blame you for what happened during the heist.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John nodded, glad to hear a confirmation of what Hosea told him already.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine, Dutch,” he assured the leader. He already wasn’t angry like the first day they arrived here and he ran from the camp because of it. The talk with Hosea helped him understand why Dutch acted like he acted.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh but it’s not fine, son.” Son. He missed that word spoken in such a soft tone. “Not fine at all. You did everything you could and even more, you always did and I treated you awfully for that, blamed you for everything like you were the only one there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that… that hurt,” John admitted, bowing his head shyly. He rarely showed his softer side around Dutch, he always wanted to impress the older man and acting emotionally wasn’t the right way to do it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dutch sat on the chair that Hosea occupied just two days ago. When John looked at him again, he saw regret in his father’s eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry for that, John,” he said truthfully, placing a hand over his heart before he shook his head in shame. John felt sorry for him then. “Everything just came crashing down at once. We almost lost Sean and it could’ve turned out even worse. I was angry that we left the money and just looked for someone to blame. I’m sorry I’ve chosen you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All forgiven, Dutch,” John said and smiled at the leader. “Don’t worry about it, it’s in the past already.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shouldn’t have pushed you so much,” Dutch kept saying, still guilty. John was torn between being happy about this, knowing that Dutch cared, and feeling guilty himself. Maybe if he did everything right during the heist, Dutch wouldn’t be in that state right now. “I’m talking about the last couple of weeks. Everything was on your shoulders and it still wasn’t enough for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was good hearing this, knowing that he wasn’t exaggerating things and Dutch noticed just like him that all these jobs were too much for one man. John feared that maybe Dutch was right after all and it wasn’t too much work, it was him who was getting slack after all those years. He wasn’t old yet, only twenty six but in this line of work it wasn’t hard to get worn out. Still, he was too young for it to happen to him and Dutch just confirmed that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The reason I put so much pressure on you,” Dutch continued and John listened closely like always. “Is because I know what you’re capable of. You could be even better than you already are.” </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>A golden boy, that's how some were calling him in the gang. He never protested because it was true, he was Dutch’s favorite, he and Hosea put so much effort into training him, making him the gunslinger he was. He always learned and improved fast, that never changed with him getting older but he didn’t really think there was still a room for improvement, not from Dutch or anyone from the gang anyway. He learned all he could from them, if there was still something he could learn, it couldn’t be done here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have my limits, Dutch.” He couldn’t just keep doing everything all the time. Maybe he could still be better but he needed a rest like anyone else. He was just a gunslinger, not a god.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, son.” Dutch looked at him with understanding and got up. “I really do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John stood up as well, his hand gripping the compendium nervously. Were they okay now? Should he say something too?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry for how the heist went down,” he admitted eventually. His fault or not, he felt a little guilty they got away with nothing. “I promise I came up with a job that will make up for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure you do.” Dutch placed his palm on John’s shoulder. “You got something in mind already? You were out yesterday and today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Lenny found a job in town, a stagecoach full of cash will be coming through there in five days,” he informed proudly. He wasn’t the one who found the job but he was the one who would plan all of it. “Me and Lenny are going to rob it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Take other boys with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or Mrs. Adler,” John added.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dutch smiled at him. “Or Mrs. Adler,” he agreed and squeezed John’s shoulder. “I know I can still count on you. I’m sorry I made you feel like I don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” he assured again and returned the smile. “It’s all good. The bank heist didn’t work but this one will. We’ll get the money.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“With you planning it? I’m sure we will,” Dutch said to him before leaving him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled happily, finally being able to breath freely and not feeling any tension in the air. Everything was good again between them.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The atmosphere in the camp got back to normal when Dutch weren't angry anymore. John ate sitting with others, everyone was in a good mood, talking, joking, laughing. The heist was left behind them and they could relax once again, getting ready for another job that this time was going to go flawlessly. John was going to make sure of that. He’d never disappoint Dutch again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Never.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. I've Got Something For You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Despite the plan to stay away from Arthur for more than one day, John got ready right after breakfast to visit the merman again and show him the compendium. He knew he looked awfully suspicious being so eager to leave, especially after reconciling with Dutch, but he didn’t really care. They couldn’t stop him and it was nobody’s business what he was doing with his free time.</p><p>Others just got too used to him constantly working and now his free time was seen as something unusual. Well, they would have to get used to that because John was done with doing everyone’s work. He was still going to work, just less. Just like he told Dutch, he had his limits and he wasn’t going to reach it again and risk others like in the bank.  </p><p>To not look too suspicious, John packed a rifle on the saddle and told everyone who asked that he was going hunting again. It was a poor excuse, he was never known as someone who hunted without being asked before, but he didn’t have time to come up with a better one. It had its perks, nobody would question him if he wouldn’t come back without something. Everyone knew he wasn’t that good at hunting. He could hunt, he just didn’t want to. They had Charles for this anyway, he was the expert at hunting, John was an expert at robbing.</p><p>With a rifle stored on the saddle and compendium in hand, John left the camp on horseback and headed towards the bay. He couldn’t wait to show Arthur the book, the merman was going to love it, John could already feel that.</p><p>Old Boy practically remembered the way already and walked on his own so John took that opportunity to mark all the pages with the illustrations to have no problem with finding them later. Arthur, not knowing how to read, would only feel confused with all the text. John would be happy to read it to him but at first he was going to show just the illustrations. He was sure he was capable of describing most of the animals on his own anyway and what he couldn’t say Arthur didn’t need. Latin names weren’t that important.</p><p>When he was done, John spurred Old Boy into gallop and soon enough they reached the woods where they had to slow down again. John navigated his horse through the trees and found the hidden entrance to the bay after following the cliff side. Even after all those times it was still a little hard to notice at first. Good, Arthur was safer this way. With the trust the merman had, he would’ve been dead already otherwise.</p><p>“Hope he’s home,” John said to Old Boy, when he was dismounting. The gelding flicked his ears towards him but was already more focused on grazing. John interrupted his breakfast. “Maybe I should take this off,” John suggested and patted the saddle. “Don’t know how long I’ll be there this time.”</p><p>Last time he completely lost the track of time, staying late wasn’t intentional and he had no desire to repeat that, no matter how nice talking to Arthur was, but just to be sure, he took the saddle from Old Boy and hid it in the bushes. There was nothing really valuable there but the saddle itself was expensive so he didn’t want to lose it.</p><p>He took the rifle just in case and a couple of oatcakes he had for Old Boy, but he was going to give some to Arthur so he could taste human food.</p><p>“Be good, boy,” he told his horse. Old Boy didn’t listen, only flicked his tail at him. “Okay, I’m going,” John chuckled and started walking down. He was already familiar with the path so he wasn’t afraid of falling down and his steps were sure.</p><p>John saw Arthur immediately, it was hard not to, the sun wasn’t hitting the bay yet but the deep blue color of merman’s tail was standing out too much to miss it. Arthur was stretched comfortably on the rock belt, one hand acting like a pillow for his head, the other dangling on the side in the water. The merman’s body was completely relaxed, his tail fin swaying slightly to the side while the soft waves were washing him from time to time. With his back turned to the entrance, he didn’t notice John, he didn’t hear him either, the merman actually looked asleep because apart from the tail and strands of hair blowing on the wind, he was completely still.</p><p>John almost felt bad for interrupting him. Almost. It was eight in the morning already, no time to sleep.</p><p>“Hi, Arthur!” John shouted, partially to be heard over the waves and seagulls, partially because he wanted to scare Arthur. He succeeded.</p><p>The merman jumped a little and looked at John with big eyes until he realized he had nothing to worry about and relaxed again, sending John this wide grin of his.</p><p>“Hi, John!” he shouted back and sat up, letting his tail fall to the shallow water where it just laid there.</p><p>John smiled back at the merman and picked up a quicker pace to get to the bottom faster. He nodded at the more protected part of the belt and headed there, hearing Arthur already crawling there too. John was there first because of the advantage of having legs but Arthur wasn’t far behind and reached John when he already sat down comfortably, hiding from the waves behind a bigger rock. Arthur sat down next to him, still smiling, a trail of fallen off scales tracked the way he came.</p><p>“Did I scare you?” John had to ask. It was kind of funny how he managed to scare a sea monster.</p><p>“Don’t flatter yourself, I was dozing off,” Arthur told him, clearly embarrassed.</p><p>“Still a success in my book,” John chuckled, remembering about the book in his grip. Arthur didn’t ask about it yet and no matter how much John wanted to show it to him, it would be more appropriate to start a simple conversation first. “How are you?”</p><p>There, simple as can be. And polite too.</p><p>“Still alive,” Arthur answered. His beard grew a little since they last saw each other. John wondered what merman was using to shave. “And you? Wasn’t expecting you back so soon after you told me you had responsibilities.”</p><p>“I’m well, thanks. My father isn’t angry at me anymore,” he admitted. He had no reason to say this apart from the fact that he already told Arthur all about this so John wanted to share the good news.</p><p>“He realized he wasn’t fair to you?” Arthur asked, pleased.</p><p>“Yeah, he apologized and all,” he admitted happily. “You were right.”</p><p>“You get used to it, I’m always right.”</p><p>John snorted. “Sure,” he agreed to humor the merman. They smiled at each other before John moved his eyes, suddenly self-conscious about giving the book. It was a perfect moment to give it but maybe the whole idea wasn’t as brilliant as it seemed. Well, he couldn’t bail now, Arthur surely has seen it. “I have something for you,” John said, proud that his voice didn’t stutter.</p><p>He felt brave enough to look at the merman again and noticed him eyeing the book briefly before he looked into John’s eyes with a wide smile. John breathed in relief.</p><p>“Really?” Arthur asked excitedly and turned suddenly, his tail hitting John’s legs when it raised from the water. “I have something for you too.”</p><p>“Really?” John repeated the word. His heart started thumping.</p><p>“Wait here, I need to go get it,” the merman explained and quickly dived into deeper water.</p><p>John shifted anxiously, he didn’t expect to get something in return, it didn’t cross his mind because what a merman could give him? Clearly Arthur wouldn’t give him a book too so what was it? Were merfolks making any art of their own they could share?</p><p>He tried to think of something but apart from a dead fish or some rock with merpeople symbols written on it, John had no idea what Arthur had for him. The merman was excited about his gift so it had to be something important. Or big.</p><p>Whatever it was, John had to wait a few minutes for it, nervously drawing with his finger on the cover of the book. Arthur announced his return with a big splash when he practically jumped from the water, startling John in the process and almost making him drop the compendium. There was something in Arthur’s hand, it looked like a sack, the merman probably stole it from people. </p><p>Excited, Arthur crawled closer to John and gave him the sack. “Here, for you,” he said and sat again.</p><p>John hesitantly took the sack. It wasn’t heavy and it wasn’t just one object inside, he could hear clicking noise when he shook it a little. Stones? It sounded like it but he wouldn’t believe that Arthur would give him stones.</p><p>After making sure the compendium was safe in his lap, he opened the sack and gasped when he saw dozens of pink and white pearls inside. </p><p>“Holy crap,” John murmured and looked surprised at Arthur who was grinning at him.</p><p>“You like it?” the merman asked.</p><p>Like it? He loved it!</p><p>“Do you know how much it costs?” Pearls weren’t as expensive as gold or platinum, not anymore at least, but they were still expensive, especially in places where they weren’t common. Somewhere further into the mainland they could sell those with a higher price, maybe for three dollars for one pearl and he had at least twenty of those, all in different sizes and very shiny.</p><p>“Yeah, I heard people talking,” Arthur said, still watching John’s reaction to his gift. The merman was very proud of himself.</p><p>“You got them yourself?”</p><p>It was obvious but he couldn’t help but remember that maybe Arthur just found a necklace.</p><p>Arthur nodded. “Not here, there is no pearl here but I swam south a couple of months ago and found those,” he explained. “They are very valuable for my species too.”</p><p>John couldn’t believe what he just got. A real pearls, not on a necklace but taken from the clams. He never held pearls that weren’t already a part of some jewelry he snatched from around the neck of some high society lady. And those pearls were far more prettier, never touched by a human hand before, it was probably the first time they were taken from the water. He was feeling weirdly happy about it. And like a fool.</p><p>His gift paled to compare with those pearls, giving a book in exchange for something like that just didn’t seem right. Just like accepting something this expensive. He was an outlaw but it was still awkward.</p><p>“I really appreciate it, Arthur but I can’t take it,” he said and handed back the sack. “It’s too expensive.”</p><p>“I can always get more,” the merman assured him and pushed his hand away. “It would take me a few days to go south and return but it’s not hard like for you.”</p><p>“Still.” John felt bad accepting this. His gift wasn’t cheap either but it was still like giving a bronze band in exchange for a gold one.</p><p>“Keep it, John,” Arthur insisted with a smile. “I have no use for them, I just collected them because they’re not common here and thought they may come in handy.”</p><p>Well, if that was the case, John wasn’t feeling that bad about it. His gift was still out of place and dumb in compression but maybe Arthur wouldn’t notice. The merman couldn’t know how much the compendium costed John after all. If John was going to feel bad about it, it was his own fault for being this nice. No, this was Dutch and Hosea’s fault for raising him like that.</p><p>“Only if you’re sure.” John didn’t want the merman to regret it.</p><p>“I’m sure,” Arthur promised. “Take them and give them to your gang. I can keep bringing you more things from the ocean every day. Expensive things.”</p><p>John smiled at the merman, impressed with his dedication to help. “Thanks, but I don’t need help with earning money, I’m good at bringing it myself,” he assured. He had no idea why Arthur assumed that he wasn’t when John noticed the merman turning his face to hide a faint blush on his cheeks. John’s smile turned into a teasing grin. “Oh, you want to be the source of my money so I can keep coming back here every day, is that it?”     </p><p>The blush on Arthur’s face deepened and he stubbornly refused to look at John who laughed.</p><p>“Aren’t you attached already?” John teased him, enjoying the growing blush and the huff Arthur made. “You must’ve really missed me since the last time. You spent yesterday watching the path to see if I would come?”</p><p>“You wish,” Arthur hissed at him. John noticed his side fins tingling with anger or just embarrassment. Maybe both. He really hoped the merman wouldn’t attack him for this because he was enjoying it very much.</p><p>“You should think about tying me to a rock if you want to keep me here,” John joked again, smiling widely when Arthur looked sharply at him.</p><p>“Maybe I will,” he said in a deep, threatening voice. For a moment, John was actually sure the merman was being serious but then the corner of his mouth twitched and he looked away again, still blushing.</p><p>John couldn’t resist himself, he leaned closer to the clearly irritated merman, ignoring his instinct telling him to get the hell away from the danger. He either had a death wish or really trusted Arthur.</p><p>He tried to look at his red face but Arthur was avoiding his eyes and John was too lazy to jump from the rock to stand in front of him. He had a feeling the merman would hide in the water anyway so he stayed where he was and just smiled at his companion’s embarrassment, making him even more embarrassed with how close they were right now.</p><p>“Next time I come here, is there going to be a hut built for me so I have a place to live?” he asked Arthur, feeling his side fin slapping him on the thigh. The merman only huffed again and shifted his whole body away from laughing John. That was good but it was time to stop, John wasn’t cruel, he just wanted to tease Arthur a little, not anger him for real. Besides, he had no right to laugh at Arthur for wanting to see him when John felt exactly the same. He couldn’t wait to see him today.</p><p>John stopped laughing but kept on smiling, not teasingly, just a genuine adoring smile. “In all honesty, that’s very sweet of you,” he admitted.</p><p>Arthur must’ve sensed his honesty because he turned a little and watched John with the corner of his eyes. When all he noticed was a friendly smile, he huffed one last time and despite the blush on his face, turned to John again, whose smile widened.</p><p>“So what do you have for me?” Arthur asked, trying to change the subject.</p><p>“You have dry hands?”</p><p>John only rolled his eyes when Arthur wiped his hands on his clothes.</p><p>“Now they are dry.”</p><p>“Here.” John handed him the compendium. Now it was his time to blush, he was nervous with how his gift would be received.</p><p>John watched closely as Arthur first examined the cover, following the letters of the title with his finger, his claw making a quiet, scraping sound. If John didn’t know, he would assume Arthur had no idea what to do with this book but when he looked at the merman’s face, he noticed the cover alone was fascinating him.</p><p>Of course, it was probably the first book he ever had in his hands. Not counting John’s journal.</p><p>“What does it say?” Arthur asked, still fascinated with the title.</p><p>“Uh, The Great Compendium of World’s Wildlife,” John read it to him. “The words at the bottom of the cover are the author's names.”</p><p>Arthur nodded and opened the book on the first page, once again enjoying everything but not what the book was contenting. </p><p>“That’s the title too, right?” Arthur pointed at the words written on the first page.</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>With a great concentration visible on his face, Arthur focused on other words. John watched him confused. Was he trying to read it? Impossible. Arthur barely knew the alphabet, even if he remembered something from their lesson two days ago.</p><p>“That’s the letter ‘P’.” He said it like he was sure but then he looked at John for confirmation. John checked the letter Arthur’s claw was pointing. It was ‘P’. He remembered. Before he could confirm, Arthur grinned and moved his finger, pointing at another letter. “And that’s ‘U’.”</p><p>“Yup.” John was impressed by Arthur’s memory, he only taught the merman for a few hours but it was enough for him to remember. It was embarrassing but he wouldn’t be able to recall merfolk symbols from memory right now. But he probably didn’t have that much free time like Arthur who had a whole day for practicing. Still, he could only count on his memory, John didn’t leave him any notes. How intelligent Arthur really was?</p><p>“The next one was at the beginning,” Arthur said, pointing at the next letter in the word. “I remember it was right after the first letter of my name. What was it called?”</p><p>“It’s ‘B’,” John helped him.</p><p>“’B’,” the merman repeated, getting used to it again. “’L’, then ‘J’?”</p><p>John smiled at the mistake. “Close, ‘I’,” he corrected the merman. “But you’re doing pretty good.”</p><p>Couple of more lessons of the alphabet, then something about pronunciation and Arthur would know English completely. He was a fast learner, it was impressive and made John want to learn merfolk symbols just to prove he could learn another language too.</p><p>Four more letters that Arthur remembered correctly and he had a whole word he read with John’s help.</p><p>“I still don’t understand why you speak differently than write,” Arthur chuckled and went to the next page. There was nothing that interested him so he skipped it and went to the next one where North America was written in bold letters.</p><p>“Yeah, that’s the biggest struggle in learning how to read,” John admitted, amused. He continued watching because in just two or three pages, Arthur was going to see the first illustration. The merman didn’t ask what the word ‘mammal’ meant, he just skipped that page and he froze in awe when on two next pages, animals of North America were presented to him.</p><p>John watched closely for more reactions, especially those that would come after a surprise. Arthur stared at the animal like he never saw any of them and it was probably true. He was looking at deer, wolves, bear, racoon, bobcat, squirrels, everything squished into one illustration presenting the landscape of America and its animals.</p><p>It was nothing special to John, he saw most of those animals with his own eyes, he hunted some of them, but to Arthur he could only imagine it was like watching fireworks for the first time, with complete amazement and not really believing it’s real because it’s so beautiful. For all the merman knew, those animals weren’t real. He probably recognized some but it didn’t matter when there were so many things to admire.</p><p>John smiled when the shock turned into wonder and curiosity. Arthur actually brought the book closer to his face to see every detail better. John watched him fascinated and with his heart beating excited, happy that his gift was liked, even though Arthur didn’t say a word yet, too captivated by the compendium to say anything. </p><p>“Are those really living on land?” he asked in disbelief.</p><p>“Sure are,” John confirmed, grinning like an idiot because of Arthur’s surprised expression.</p><p>“I’ve never seen them before,” Arthur admitted, touching the drawing of a grizzly bear standing on its hind legs. “Are they walking like you?”</p><p>John laughed. “No, they just stand like that to look bigger,” he explained, with each second more and more endeared with Arthur’s childish fascination and amazement. He couldn’t stop smiling and neither does the merman. “Bigger than they already are, I mean. And they can swim.”</p><p>“How big do they get?”</p><p>“They are called bears.” Arthur mouthed the word. “And when they stand on their hind legs, they’re actually higher than me. I think they’re closer to your size actually.”</p><p>“What are those?” Arthur pointed at the wolves. “They look like dogs.”</p><p>“Those are wolves and they’re related to dogs. They live in big packs and sometimes attack bears to steal their food.”</p><p>“Like dolphins with sharks.”</p><p>“I suppose.” He never saw something like that but it was only as second or third time the gang was this close to the ocean.</p><p>“This is so incredible,” Arthur admitted in a whisper, still in awe of what he was seeing. “Is the whole book like this?”</p><p>“There are a lot of words too, describing what those animals are, how they behave, what they eat. What you’re looking at now are only mammals of North America, there is far more than that.”</p><p>Arthur probably didn’t understand some of the words John was saying to him but he still nodded and with a big grin on his face he went through the next pages till he reached another illustration, entirely focused on specimens of deer. </p><p>“What a strange creatures,” he said when he saw antlers. “I saw those before, they sometimes walk on the coats.”</p><p>“Yeah, that’s an elk, they sometimes wander from the north. Good source of meat.”</p><p>“Never ate one, too spooky.”</p><p>John chuckled. “All deer are like that. Maybe beside moose. Those can actually charge you, bulls specifically.”</p><p>He pointed at the picture to help Arthur find it.</p><p>“Looks big too,” the merman noticed.</p><p>“Many animals on land are huge.” He was tempted to show Arthur elephants and giraffes but he decided to let the merman go through the book at his own pace.  </p><p>“Still smaller than what lives in the ocean,” Arthur pointed out with a proud smirk. “I mean, I’m a human and I’m bigger than you.”</p><p>“Only because of your tail.” John nudged the tail with his foot and Arthur nudged back, hard. This whole thing was built with pure muscles, it could probably break some human bones with one hit. “And you’re not exactly a human.”</p><p>Arthur narrowed his eyes. “I look like you.”</p><p>“Only halfway,” John reminded him, touching the place where skin was meeting with the scales.</p><p>“Those deer don’t always look similar but they’re still deer.” He got the point, John had to admit that. Arthur didn’t look completely like a human but he was acting like one, was intelligent like one, hell Arthur was smarter than many people John got to ever know. Some biologist would probably have something to say about whatever merfolks were subspecies of humans or not but John was no biologist, he never even went to school but what he knew and what he witnessed was enough for him to consider Arthur a human. Adapted to live underwater and practicing cannibalism, but still a human.</p><p>“Fair enough,” he accepted finally and smiled at the merman. Arthur smiled back satisfied and went back to admiring the book. “So, about the ocean. What lives down there?”</p><p>Since he was teaching Arthur about animals on land, he wanted to know more about those living in the ocean. It was fascinating to think how many unknown creatures were living there. Humans didn’t know about merpeople, John could only imagine there were even more secrets down there. Secrets he wouldn’t even see because he would never enter the ocean willingly, not to mention survive enough to see anything but darkness.</p><p>“Apart from fish?” Arthur aske teasingly. “I don’t know, lots of creatures. Unfortunately I don’t have a book to show you them.”</p><p>“That’s okay I have a good imagination.”</p><p>“You just have trouble putting it on paper, right?”</p><p>“Shut up.” Arthur laughed when John shoved him playfully. The merman’s laugh was contagious and John chuckled himself. “So?”</p><p>“I assume you know about dolphins?”</p><p>“Sure.” Probably the only creatures living in the oceans that were friendly. John read about them helping drowning humans and protecting them from sharks.</p><p>“Well, there are various sharks, big, small, one even as big as some whales.” John must’ve palled because Arthur laughed. Maybe he joked. “Don’t worry, they don’t eat meat.”</p><p>“And that’s reassuring?”</p><p>Arthur laughed again. “They’re really gentle, they could only hurt you if they managed to hit you accidently. Orcas are worse, they play with their food.”</p><p>“By orcas you mean…”</p><p>“Big black and white dolphins,” Arthur clarified. John remembered now. He saw some drawings of them in books. “They’re bigger than your bears so watch out for them.”</p><p>“I don’t think I’m in any danger while on land.” Thank god he was never born on the coast and didn’t have to become a fisherman. He wouldn’t survive in a small boat on the open ocean.</p><p>“Here, sure, the gap I swim in and out from here is too small for orcas but don’t think you’re safe from them on land,” Arthur chuckled ominously. “They can swim onto land with waves to catch their prey.”</p><p>“They can do that?” John asked and looked at the water nervously. “I’m liking the ocean less and less, Arthur.”</p><p>“Yeah, they are really dangerous.” The worst thing was, Arthur wasn’t even joking, he seemed to respect orcas and what they were capable of. “When I hear them in the distance, I swim the other way. Usually they don’t attack merpeople but nobody wants to risk it. But don’t worry, the ocean isn’t just full of killing creatures.”</p><p>“Yeah, sure it isn’t,” John nodded unconvinced. “You have something more friendly?”</p><p>“I don’t know how you call those but they’re big…”</p><p>“Of course they are.” Arthur snickered when John rolled his eyes.</p><p>“They kinda look like birds, very thin but huge, with triangle fins and a pair of different one on the front of their heads, they look like horns.” John was sure he never saw a creature like that. “Some are smaller, more round, don’t have horns but they have a longer tail. And they have a stinger they can kill you with.”</p><p>“I wanted to hear about more friendly creatures,” John reminded him with a teasing smile.</p><p>“The one with horns is friendly,” Arthur assured him, returning the smile. “Friendly creatures, huh? Turtles are friendly. They go on land to lay eggs and eat jellyfish, which are nasty things, not intentionally, but they can kill you.”</p><p>“No matter what animal you’re talking about, you somehow always end with something that can kill me,” John laughed. “Hell, even you could kill me, the ocean is just dangerous.”</p><p>“Oh yeah? How many animals on land can kill you?”</p><p>“If you aren’t careful even a grass eating cow, I suppose.”</p><p>“There, your land is as dangerous, so shut up,” Arthur said defensively but with a hint of humor.</p><p>“Alright, calm down,” John chuckled. “What other creatures from hell do you have in that ocean of yours?”</p><p>“I told you about four, now you tell me more about your animals,” Arthur suggested and quickly found another illustration. “What’s that?”</p><p>“Canines. Wolves, foxes, coyotes,” John named every animal in the illustration.</p><p>“I saw those couple of times, they eat dead fish thrown there by the waves.”</p><p>“Coyotes eat anything, really.”</p><p>They kept teaching each other about various animals. John never knew so much about sea creatures before Arthur talked to him about them. It wasn’t big knowledge, mostly just basics. Whenever he could, Arthur used the names humans used but sometimes he just had to describe a fish and other animals to John. At his request, the merman used his own languages too. All three of them. Now John knew that shark was called by merpeople as ‘crik’ and the sound describing him was very high pitched.</p><p>There was no reason for him to learn that but he wanted to. He even wrote that in his journal, along with other new names. Maybe one day, he would be able to communicate with Arthur in his language.</p><p>Just like the other time, they talked for so long it was time for dinner eventually. And just like the other time, John stayed for it and Arthur didn’t even have to convince him, he proposed it himself, not wanting to go yet, which was surprising now that he had nothing to fear in the gang. Dutch was okay with him again, John didn’t have to hide and avoid the camp anymore.</p><p>He wasn’t going to think about that right now and instead, after securing the compendium on the beach, with easy access to it for Arthur so he could go through it whenever he would be alone, John went to gather some woods for the fire while the merman was fishing for both of them. Old Boy wandered away a little in search of grass and now was standing with his back to the cliff, watching the forest around. Smart horse.</p><p>John patted him, gave him treats, checked if the saddle was still where he left it, and after collecting some branches, he returned to the bay. The place where he made fire last time was still visible so he used it for new fire. The flames were growing when Arthur showed up, holding three fish with his teeth. John snorted, it looked ridiculous.</p><p>“You gonna wait for me to cook my fish again?” he asked the merman when he dropped all fish on the sand. Once again there were holes in their heads left by the sharp claws.</p><p>“It’s only polite,” Arthur answered and curled comfortably on the sand.</p><p>“You could try cooked fish,” John offered while grabbing one of them to prepare it. “I bet you never had one.”</p><p>“Never,” the merman admitted. He grabbed another fish and started getting rid of the scales. He wasn’t as effective with his pointy claws like John was with his knife but he appreciated the help.</p><p>John finished the fish Arthur started preparing while the merman, with his instructions, put the other on the stick to cook it.</p><p>“Couldn’t you eat raw fish?” the merman asked when both fish were held above the fire.</p><p>“Never tried.” John tried to think of any meal that included raw fish. “I don’t know, maybe. Can you eat cooked meat?”</p><p>He should’ve asked, he didn’t want to poison the merman.  </p><p>“I don’t know,” Arthur answered with a chuckle. “We’ll find out soon. Why do you have this thing?”</p><p>John turned to his rifle he placed on the ground.</p><p>“I told my gang I went hunting,” he explained. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to shoot you.”</p><p>“You didn’t tell your gang about me?”</p><p>John was surprised with that question.</p><p>“Would you rather if I told them?” he asked confused. “Because trust me, some of the people there wouldn’t be as friendly as me. They could kill you if they knew you are here.”</p><p>“No, I’m just surprised you have to lie to your friends.”</p><p>John sighed. “It’s not something I’m proud of but I can’t exactly tell them the truth.”</p><p>If someone would even believe that he was visiting a merman, John wouldn’t be able to stop some of the gang members from coming here and doing something to Arthur. There were people he trusted and knew that after explaining to them that Arthur was not a threat, they would never hurt him. But some would do it anyway. He was specifically worried about Micah and Bill, John could never tell what they would do, those two men were too unpredictable. John wasn’t even sure what Dutch would do if placed in front of an opportunity of getting a big fortune.</p><p>And he didn’t want to find out. Arthur was going to stay as his secret, nobody needed to know about him anyway.</p><p>“I guess not.” Arthur checked the fish when he noticed John doing the same. “Just don’t want you to get into trouble because of me.”</p><p>John smiled because of his concern. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll be fine. I’m a grown man, I don’t have to explain myself all the time.”</p><p>Arthur nodded uncertainly, still worried for no reason. To get his mind off that problem, John reached to his satchel and pulled a box with oatcakes.</p><p>“I have something else for you,” he said to Arthur and gave him the cakes.</p><p>Arthur grabbed the box mostly with just his claws. He placed the stick with a fish in the sand to have both hands free and opened the box, pulling out one cake. It was broken, probably because John was never careful about them.</p><p>“What I’m supposed to do with this?” the merman asked confused.</p><p>“Eat it, it’s food.”</p><p>Arthur frowned and hesitantly licked the oat cake first. John wanted to snort at that but he noticed again the merman’s tongue was a little long and definitely more narrow that human. Licking did nothing so Arthur put a broken piece into his mouth and chew, grimacing all the way through.</p><p>“It doesn’t taste at all, why are you eating this?”</p><p>“Well, we mostly give it to horses,” John informed him and laughed at his still disgusted face. “It’s good when you’re hungry.”</p><p>“Well, I’m not that hungry or desperate.” John grinned at him when the merman gave him back the box. “Let horses have it. Is all human food that disgusting?”</p><p>“Next time I’ll bring something better,” he promised and checked the fish again. “Should be alright. Dig in.”</p><p>“Alright, we’ll see about that, both those things.”</p><p>Arthur was once again hesitant with trying something new but curious enough to do it. This time he didn’t lick the fish first but bit it right away. He looked surprised when the meat just pulled off from the rest of the fish that easily.</p><p>John watched him chew and taste while he was eating himself, wary of any thin bones. He envied Arthur.</p><p>“It’s good,” the merman decided finally. John already started to wonder what Arthur would say about spices. “But I don’t think I’m going to eat them like that all the time. I would have a problem with finding fire underwater.”</p><p>“Unless you would find a volcano.”</p><p>Arthur amused him with a cheeky smile. “Unless.”</p><p>There was still one fish left when they finished their dinner. John was already full so he told Arthur to eat it since it wouldn’t be good tomorrow. The merman started eating but because the fish wasn’t cooked, he struggled with it a little, mostly with ripping the next pieces apart. He couldn’t get a good grip with his human teeth.</p><p>“Why don’t you eat with your other teeth,” John finally asked. He couldn’t watch that struggle anymore. Last time he was able to ignore it because he was eating too but now, when he had nothing to do and just waited for the merman to finish so they could talk some more, it was obvious now that eating like that was harder. Not impossible, but harder.</p><p>Arthur looked at him surprised, with scales from the fish around his mouth. It didn’t seem to bother him but it showed how much he had to bite to get to the meat. They looked at each other for a few seconds before the merman looked away first. Now John was confused. Why was he being shy all of sudden?</p><p>“You don’t like them so I hide them to not make you uncomfortable.”</p><p>It was… for him?</p><p>John was speechless at first. Arthur really took his feelings into consideration. Completely unnecessary at that. Yes, he was bothered by those teeth but making Arthur hide them wasn’t right. He could get used to seeing them, after all, he knew by now the merman wasn’t planning on using them against him. And they were just teeth, different from the one he had but still just teeth. Made to tear flesh apart but so were those of a dog and he wasn’t bothered by them. Eagles’ talons were scary too, that’s just how nature made them. Arthur needed those teeth, he couldn’t cook his meat like John or cut it with a knife, he had other tools for that. Being okay with him not using those teeth would be cruel just like taking a fork and a knife from humans and telling them to eat with just their mouth. It was possible, but it wasn’t right.</p><p>“It’s fine, you can use them,” he assured Arthur.</p><p>“Are you sure, it’s not a problem.”</p><p>John smiled and nodded. “I’m sure, go ahead.”</p><p>Arthur considered it for a moment before he decided to listen to John. His second teeth slowly appeared filling his mouth. He could close them no problem, they fitted perfectly. John nodded at him again when the merman looked at him one more time and then bit into the fish. The meat separated just as easily as when he was eating cooked fish.</p><p>John smiled when the merman didn’t have to stick his face to the fish to take a bite, his teeth moved a little to the outside, allowing him to bite without touching the meat with anything else but those deadly fangs.</p><p>“Better?” John asked him.</p><p>Arthur chewed and showed him a full teeth smile. It was a horrifying smile, demonic almost and it sent a shiver down John’s spine even though he didn’t feel threatened. He didn’t show how it affected him to not scare Arthur away. Funny. It was Arthur who looked like a creature from a nightmare yet it was John who was afraid of scaring the merman away.</p><p>Arthur dealt with the fish in barely more than a minute, his long tongue once again licking his lips after, cleaning the scales from around them.</p><p>“You can use those teeth with me, I don’t mind,” John assured him again when Arthur sheeted them again after the meal.</p><p>“I’ll remember that. Thank you, John.”</p><p>“Don’t mention it,” John asked, bashful. “You mind me asking about something?”</p><p>Arthur had little to no shame, which John found out in a most embarrassing way but he still wanted to be sure his question was welcome.</p><p>“Depends what it is.”</p><p>“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to but… Why don't you kill humans?”</p><p>Arthur wasn’t bothered by that question at all.</p><p>“I just wouldn’t be able to kill something that is as intelligent like me,” he simply explained. “When I look at humans, I see something that is just like me, how could I kill you for food?”</p><p>“But you don’t have a problem with eating humans.”</p><p>“Well, no. You’re already dead when I’m eating you and meat is meat. If not me, then something else would eat you, be that birds or crabs.”</p><p>It was still weird for John, he didn’t think he would be able to eat a dead human, even when starving but he never was driven to that point so who knows? Arthur didn’t have that problem because he viewed death differently. John, while not religious, kind of saw bodies as sacred, something that deserved to be buried after death. Allowing it to just rot or being eaten by scavengers was seen as violating the dead. Only hated people were left disrespected like that, just like they disrespected the living.</p><p>For Arthur it was completely different. He just said it was meat for him. He was intelligent like a human but his way of life was at least partially animalistic. But not animalistic enough to see killing humans as killing other animals for food.</p><p>John has never seen anything like that, never heard of it. It was fascinating to know a creature with such a way of thinking.</p><p>“Would you eat another merman if they was dead?”</p><p>“Sure,” Arthur said without hesitation.</p><p>“Is there any creature you wouldn’t eat.”</p><p>Arthur actually had to think about that.</p><p>“I don’t hunt some animals. Those I think are sentient enough it would feel wrong,” he said eventually and everything was clarifying for John. Arthur wasn’t that different from humans. Eve with his cannibalism. “I won’t kill a dolphin because I can talk to them in a way. I won’t kill a seal because I feel connected to them. But I would eat their corpses if I came upon any. Because that’s just how life is. I know they would eat me too. They need the food, I need the food. So what’s wrong with eating it when it’s available?”</p><p>John smiled and bowed his head for a moment. Humans were too sentimental to do what Arthur was doing but his way of thinking? It was interesting, inspirational even. John didn’t think he would eat a human or a dog corps any time soon if ever, but he couldn’t say it was wrong morally. Morality wasn’t just one universal thing across the whole globe anyway.</p><p>“Nothing,” he said, smiling again. “Just, if I die here at any point, please don’t eat me.”</p><p>Arthur laughed loudly and with his whole body, even his tail was shaking.</p><p>“I promise,” he swore. “If you start dying right in front of me, I’ll do everything to save you.” John didn’t know what to say to such a promise so he said nothing and just looked away shyly. “Only after I’ll consider eating you.”</p><p>John looked back up and glared at the grinning merman.</p><p>“Bastard,” he scoffed.</p><p>Arthur only laughed again and John joined shortly after.      </p><p>John wasn’t planning on staying long after they ate, he just wanted to rest a little and come back to camp but somehow he left a few hours later when it was way past midday and he and Arthur just finished talking about the places they lived in. While talking about animals, Arthur suddenly noticed how different animals from the north were compared to those in the south. That turned into a very long conversation about different habitats and climates on Earth. In exchange, Arthur talked about different waters. After they were done, John was sure he knew about seas and oceans just as much as a sailor.</p><p>They would probably talk even longer if John wasn’t blinded by the setting sun. It was still high in the sky but it reminded him how long he was sitting there already. And yet it still pained him to go. What was wrong with him? He had no reason to hide, why he wanted to stay with someone that wasn’t even a friend, unlike people he left in the camp?</p><p><em> But he starts to feel like a friend </em>, his brain suggested him and John couldn’t deny it. He liked spending time with Arthur. Maybe it was because he was something completely new, he wasn’t another boring human so getting to know him was even more exciting than learning about another human. And it helped that Arthur was just an interesting and funny person.</p><p>No matter how much John didn’t want to go, he had to. Well, he didn’t, not really, the gang was used to him disappearing for a few days, no one would be worried even if he hadn’t said anything about longer absence when he was leaving this morning, but John wasn’t going to just sleep there or up on the cliff when he had perfectly comfortable bed in the camp not so far away. Besides, after those few tense days, he preferred to be back in the camp and make sure everything was really okay between him and Dutch.</p><p>He could just stay longer, till late evening at least. He even considered it but decided not to. He needed to go back to the gang, spend some time with them and help around the camp. Staying all day with someone he met just a couple of days ago wasn’t fair to his friends. Arthur was becoming his friend too but the gang was something different, they were a family and he already ignored them enough when he was avoiding Dutch. One visit to town a few days ago was nothing compared to the time he spent with Arthur. John’s friends deserved better than a couple of minutes during breakfast. </p><p>“Well, it’s time for me to go,” John informed the merman when he was sure he wouldn’t interrupt him. “Thanks for the food. And pearls.” He patted his satchel where the gift was safely tucked.</p><p>“Well, thanks for the book,” Arthur said in return and smiled. He didn’t try to stop John from going like the last time but he clearly didn’t want him to go, it was visible in his eyes. John felt less weird about his own want to stay, if it was mutual, than it was normal. “You going to be back tomorrow?”</p><p>“I don’t know yet,” he said honestly. He probably shouldn’t get back tomorrow, he had a robbery to plan. But he wanted to see Arthur again, maybe show him something new about humans and land. He wasn’t even going to pretend anymore that he was here only to know more about new interesting species. That too but he also wanted to know more about Arthur.</p><p>The merman was looking at him hopefully, waiting for a clearer answer, probably to not spend one day on watching the path leading to the bay(John was sure that’s exactly what Arthur did yesterday). John didn’t want to disappoint him. And he already knew he wouldn’t be able to stay away. He couldn’t from the very beginning but then it was curiosity, now it was just enjoyment. It’s been a long time since he talked with someone this easily like with Arthur and he wanted to continue it.</p><p>“Yeah, sure,” he confirmed finally, making Arthur smile. “I’ll be back tomorrow.”</p><p>He would have to come up with some excuse, just in case anyone would ask where he was going.</p><p>“I’ll be looking forward to it then,” Arthur said and just like the last time, he crawled after John to the path.</p><p>“You gonna watch the path from the early morning?” John teased him again, he just couldn’t help himself.</p><p>“Keep it up and I’ll drown you when you come close to the water,” Arthur warned him, irritated but not angry. Not enough to erase a smile from his face.</p><p>John laughed. “You wouldn’t dare,” he said, confident, but only for a few seconds. “Right?”</p><p>Arthur’s eyes practically sparkled with mischief. “I guess you’ll have to find out,” he said mysteriously and turned around to get back to water but looked back at John one more time. “Don’t sit on the rocks near water if I’m not in the bay.”</p><p>John didn’t actually believed that Arthur would drown him but something was telling him the merman would still drag him into the water just to torture him. He really was a bastard.</p><p>“I’ll keep that in mind,” John said with a chuckle and saluted as a goodbye. “See you tomorrow.”</p><p>“See you,” Arthur responded and got into the water.</p><p>John couldn’t help but watch him swim towards the belt, once again admiring how swift he was. The merman knew he was being watched, when he reached the rocks, he turned around one more time when he climbed the belt. John couldn’t see if Arthur was smiling(he 100% was), the shadow caused by the slowly setting sun prevented him from seeing merman’s face but it gave him the great opportunity to watch his blue tail glistening in the light.</p><p>Arthur waved at him before he jumped into the water. John waved and smiled back too or rather kept on smiling and watched Arthur swim on his back on the surface till he dived under and disappeared completely from John’s sight. He wondered where the merman was going every day.</p><p>John returned to his horse who was calmly grazing again.</p><p>“Missed me, mister?” John asked him, stroking his flank. Old Boy raised his head and headbutted him a little too hard, causing laughing John to lose his balance. “Alright, sorry for leaving you alone for so long, I just had fun today,” he explained to the gelding.</p><p>Old Boy snorted and got back to eating. He didn’t move when John put a saddle on him, he only fussed a little when his meal was interrupted and bucked under John who just climbed onto the saddle.</p><p>“Hey, none of that,” he scolded the horse. “There is a lot of hay waiting for you in the camp, don’t you want that? Come on then.”</p><p>John led the horse from the forest and galloped back to the camp. Sadie was keeping the guard and nodded at him when he rode by. John jumped from the saddle and after taking it from Old Boy, he settled him with other mounts.</p><p>He took the saddle to his tent, eyeing Pearson’s wagon on the way there. He was hungry again but that would have to wait, he had something else to do first. Once in his tent, John took out the pearls and spread them on his bed to properly look at them. They were beautiful, shinier than any pearls he’d ever seen before, he didn’t even know that they could be this pretty but it made sense. All those pearls he saw in the past were touched on the daily basis, these were fresh from the ocean. Many women would pay a lot for a necklace from these untouched pearls.</p><p>John was going to give all of them to gang’s found but now he was feeling bad about this. It was Arthur’s gift, given exactly to be used by the gang, but John still didn’t want to give them all away, he wanted to have something from the merman, just like the merman had a book from him.</p><p>John hurried out from his tent and made his way to Pearson’s wagon where he searched one of the crates on the ground till he found one of few jars the cook was using to pickle meat or other food. John picked the prettiest one and came back to his tent, hoping that no one saw the pearls and took some of them. Stealing was forbidden among gang members but they still lived among thieves, John should’ve been more careful and at least covered the pearls.</p><p>Thankfully everything was still there, no pearl was missing. The stew was ready, everyone was too busy with it to snoop around John’s tent. He sat cross-legged in front of the bed and carefully picked up five biggest pearls. He refused to pick them with his dirty hands, he wanted them to stay as untouched as possible so he used a handkerchief to collect them and placed them in the jar. One by one they landed with a clank in the jar that John closed when it was done. It looked okay, but maybe they would look even better with the sand on the bottom, just so the jar wouldn’t look so empty? He would have to take some from the bay tomorrow.</p><p>Satisfied, he put the jar near his bed and gathered the rest of the pearls he carried to the found box outside Dutch’s tent. John placed the whole sack inside and wrote down what he brought. Twenty two pearls looked impressive next to stuff like a gold band or some earrings.</p><p>Proud of himself, even though he did nothing to obtain those pearls himself, only befriended a merman, John went to take some stew for himself and joined some of his friends around the fire.</p><p>“Nice of you to finally join us, Marston,” Micah greeted him with a sneer. “Any luck hunting?”</p><p>“Not today,” he answered unaffected. Micah liked to talk much but he was all bark, no biting. John was used to it.</p><p>“You were out all day and didn’t catch a thing?” Uncle laughed. “You’re even more helpless than I thought, John Marston.”</p><p>“At least I don’t sit on my ass all day.” John took a pause to eat some. “Besides, I didn’t come back empty handed.”</p><p>“Oh yeah?” Micah got interested. “What did you bring, scar face?”</p><p>“Don’t change the subject, Micah,” Sean told him, hitting Micah lightly on the arm which fussed the other man more than it should. “I want to laugh at Johnny’s incompetence some more. And he always says I’m useless,” the Irish cackled. The sound alone was enough to make others smile – except Micah and his sour face – even John smiled.</p><p>“I guess I need some hunting lessons from Charles,” John noted and looked at his friend. Charles nodded, already agreeing to taking him. That wasn’t such a bad idea, he has been on some hunting trips with Charles before, it’s because of his lessons John could shoot a bow. Those trips were always fun, John wouldn’t mind riding with Charles again. He couldn’t spend all his time only with Arthur after all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Unexpected Friendship</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John knew that leaving the camp in the early morning two days in a row would be too suspicious so he waited, using the time to pick people who would help him with the stagecoach robbery. It was still four days away but the sooner he would have that covered, the better. It was the army, everyone needed to know their role and everything had to be planned perfectly, even more than the failed bank heist that John didn’t want to repeat. Unlike a civilian, soldiers knew how to shoot and would aim at the heads or chests, not knees. </p><p>Lenny was an obvious choice, he was the one who found out about the coach so even if it was John’s operation, the kid deserved to be a part of it. But just the two of them would be too little to deal with heavily armed soldiers. John needed at least two more and a distraction. There was no problem with both. The gang had many talented gunslingers, whoever he would choose, it would be a right choice.</p><p>Same with the distraction. The girls not only knew how to play people like a fiddle, they also knew how to shoot and protect themselves in case they would have to. John could choose any of the girls(maybe except Molly), but he picked up Tilly, mostly because she was the closest to where he was currently standing and he noticed her first.</p><p>John woke up half an hour ago, he just finished eating a small breakfast and drawing a jar with his pearls to show Arthur later. He had no idea why he wanted to show the merman he kept some of them.</p><p>“Hi, Tilly,” he greeted the woman who just poured herself a cup of freshly brewed coffee.</p><p>“Hi, John,” she said back and offered him the cup. He smiled at her and shook his head. He already had one.</p><p>“Are you free in four days from today?” he asked her right away. He was in a hurry and didn’t have time for chatting. Despite his reflections yesterday, there was no point in lying to himself. He liked his friends, he liked to spend time with them but right now, Arthur was far more important and interesting and John wanted to see him as quickly as he could. He hoped his friends could forgive him for ignoring them, it wasn’t anything personal and he was going to make it up for them after that fixation about a new friend would pass soon.</p><p>“For you boys? Always,” she answered and winked at John, making him smile shyly. “Why? It has something to do with that robbery Lenny is talking about?”</p><p>“He’s talking about it?” He wasn’t mad, just surprised. It must’ve happened yesterday when he was with Arthur.</p><p>Tilly chuckled. “Bragging about it is the right term,” she corrected herself and took a sip of her coffee, hissing a little when it turned out to be too hot. “He’s so excited about robbing the army.”</p><p>John smiled in amusement. That wasn’t anything new, Lenny liked to impress Dutch or more experienced gang members, wanting to show he wasn’t a kid but someone who knew what he was doing. Robbing the army would surely boost him up in the ranks of the gang.</p><p>“That’s the one,” John confirmed. “We need a distraction, someone who could stop the soldiers.”</p><p>“And you thought of me? I’m flattered!”</p><p>John became shy again. He was never good with talking to ladies, especially if they were being flirtatious, even in a playing manner like Tilly.</p><p>“So you join us?” he asked to be sure.</p><p>“Sure,” the girl confirmed. “Who else will be joining?”</p><p>“I ain't sure yet,” he admitted. “I thought about Javier and Micah.”</p><p>Tilly looked at him surprised. “Micah?” Her brows furrowed. “Why him? He’s an awful man.”</p><p>John sighed. “I ain't very fond of him either,” John admitted and looked around to make sure Micah wasn’t around to hear this. He wasn’t scared of him, quite opposite, Micah was scared of him, John just wasn’t in the mood for an argument. “But he’s good with guns and this is the army, I need the best.”</p><p>“It’s your robbery, you decide,” she noticed but John could see she still wasn’t comfortable with Micah being a part of the plan. And for the good reasons, John didn’t blame her at all.</p><p>He probably should take Charles, Sadie or even Bill instead of Micah but he wasn’t lying when he said Micah was a good shoot. That was practically the only thing he was good at. Bill was okay, Charles was fantastic with a bow and shooting it from the trees would be a great strategy. He wasn’t bad with normal guns either. And Sadie had a fire in her that was terrifying. She was a force of nature when she was fighting, she would help greatly during the robbery.</p><p>Not to mention he, Lenny, Charles and Sadie knew how to work together, it wouldn’t be the first time, they were a great team while Micah had a tendency to rush into dangerous situations because he couldn’t resist a good fight. But so did Sadie. The only difference was, John actually liked Sadie while Micah was… just the part of the gang. John never warmed up to him, there was just something in him. Sometimes Micah acted like a good friend, a little crazy at times, but still a great friend, and sometimes he was showing his real face of a racist and a bigot. Why Dutch was still keeping him around was a mystery to John.</p><p>“If Micah makes you uncomfortable, I can take someone else,” John offered. He didn’t want Tilly to feel bad in the other man's presence.</p><p>“It’s okay,” she assured with a smile. “I ain't scared of him.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>After telling Tilly they would yet talk more about the plan, John left to find Javier who was still sleeping and was very grumpy when he was interrupted. Thankfully he didn’t put his knife in John and was very enthusiastic about joining the robbery.</p><p>“I’ll be glad to help, amigo,” Javier told him before getting back to sleep for a few more minutes as he put it.</p><p>The only one left to deal with was Micah. John found him on a guard duty which was an unusual sight. For some reason, Micah was mostly discharged from it just like John. Probably for the best, John was never feeling safe whenever Micah was keeping guard. Not because he was afraid the man could betray them, Micah proved already he would protect the gang when he killed a few O’Driscolls trying to sneak into one of their camps. John couldn’t even tell why he didn’t trust Micah enough but John’s gut was always in a state of unrest whenever Micah was responsible for the safety of all of them.</p><p>“Micah.” The older man stirred from his nap and, very confused, looked at approaching John. Maybe that had something to do with John’s lack of trust for Micah. Because he wasn’t taking his guarding duty seriously. “Was you sleeping?” John asked harshly, crossing his arms over his chest.</p><p>“Just closed my eyes for a minute, calm down, Marston,” Micah told him and yawned. “Where is someone to change me? I was stuck here all night. Unless it’s you. Dutch finally put the princess to work?”</p><p>John huffed unamused.</p><p>“Bill will be here shortly,” he informed the man. He had seen the other man getting ready. “I wanted to ask you something.”</p><p>“You want me to teach you how to shoot?” Micah asked with a smirk on his face. “It’ll be a pleasure.”</p><p>John squinted his eyes at him. “I’m a better shooter than you.”</p><p>“Keep telling yourself that, kid.” John started to regret choosing Micah. He could be funny at times but usually he was just annoying and arrogant. “So what can I help you with then?”</p><p>“Lenny and I are planning robbery, I want you to help,” John explained quickly, eager to leave already and talk with someone he actually liked.</p><p>At the mention of robbery, Micah’s eyes lightened up and a pleased smirk appeared on his lips. “Count me in,” he said, excited. “I assume it’s the army stagecoach?” John nodded. “I’m sure you and I could deal with it ourselves but I bet you’re taking someone else with us.”</p><p>“Apart from us and Lenny? Javier and Tilly will join us.”</p><p>Micah grimaced. “Don’t you have more white people?”</p><p>John made a threatening step towards Micah. “You have a problem with who I picked?”</p><p>The older man raised his hands to show he meant no harm. As always, Micah was backing off from a fight. Some would call it wise since aggression was never an answer to anything. For John, he was just a coward.</p><p>“Just saying you didn’t have to choose only the darkies,” Micah explained, adding a sneer to his words when he spoke about colored members of the gang.</p><p>“I can pick Bill and Sadie if you want,” John offered, knowing already that it wouldn’t satisfy Micah as well. Bill was an idiot, that was something John could agree on with Micah, and Sadie was a woman, which in Micah’s world was making her lesser than him. But of course he never told her that, he was scared of her just like he was scared of John. Or Charles. Or Javier. Anyone, really. “Or Hosea. Or limping Sean if that would make you more comfortable.”</p><p>Hosea was too old in Micah’s eyes, his prime long past him, which wasn’t true. And Sean was still recovering, most of the time he was drugged with morphine, he would be no use, making him useless for Micah. And the older man knew that there were no better candidates for their group. Unless John switched Micah for Charles or Sadie.</p><p>“Jesus, Marston, can’t you take a joke?”</p><p>It was always just a joke. That’s why he was probably still even in the gang. Or still had his teeth complete. Because it was just joking, so no matter how hurtful it was, Dutch was okay with it for the sake of keeping a good gunman in his gang.</p><p>“We’ll talk about the robbery the other day,” John informed him and turned to walk away. He still had Old Boy to get ready for the ride.</p><p>“Why not now?” Micah asked after him, forcing John to stop. “You have somewhere to go?”</p><p>John didn’t like the suspicion in Micah’s voice.</p><p>“I’ll talk to you once you’re more awake,” John answered, tired of this talk already. Conversations with Micah were always exhausting, almost like the man was feeding on other people’s energy. “Sleep the night off when Bill changes you, I have somewhere to be.”</p><p>“Yes, boss!” Micah called mockingly.</p><p>John hated that this asshole ruined his morning. He was so happy to visit Arthur again. Hopefully seeing the merman would lighten up his mood again so he could forget about Micah for the rest of the day. The man wasn’t worth John’s thoughts anyway.</p><p>He quickly prepared Old Boy for the ride, packing a can of strawberries to the saddle bag to give Arthur during dinner. John had no doubt he would stay that long again.</p><p>Bill changed Micah while John was getting ready. The blond watched him when he walked nearby but John ignored him, sure that Micah would stop soon. He did for a moment and then John felt being watched again. He wasn’t worried, after all it could only be someone from the gang so he was safe. He didn’t feel threatened like that day Arthur saved his life but it was still uncomfortable. He turned around, ready to yell at Micah and demand him to stop but when his eyes fell upon the person who was watching him, it wasn’t Micah but Hosea.</p><p>A little confused, John watched his father for a few seconds before hesitantly raising his hand in greeting. Hosea smiled and nodded at him in response before walking away. Strange, John thought and mounted his horse to go already. Arthur was probably waiting for him.</p><p>John was very eager to finally join the merman. Just like the other day he took the saddle from Old Boy, and the gelding, already familiar with the surrounding, walked to graze a few steps away from the hidden path.</p><p>After repacking the can of strawberries to his satchel, John hurriedly started climbing down to the lagoon, looking for Arthur the moment the branches weren’t obscuring his view. Surprisingly, the merman wasn’t on the rock belt or in the shallow water. John thought that maybe Arthur was in the open ocean when he heard a quiet splash and turned his head towards the sound. </p><p>He smiled when he saw the merman sitting on the sand, with his tail partially submerged and waving lazily in the water with the compendium opened in his lap. John stopped to look at him for a moment. Even from afar, he could see Arthur’s smile while he was examining animals’ illustrations with great interest. It was so fascinating to watch this creature learning new things with so much excitement.</p><p>When the end of Arthur’s tail raised and playfully hit the surface of the water again, the splash pulled John from his thoughts. He walked further down, still unnoticed, that’s how focused Arthur was on the book. Maybe he was even trying to read the notes under the illustrations, John saw him following it with his claws at some point. The merman only noticed him when John jumped from the path in the part where it was safe. The spurs on his boots rattling and the thumping sound brought Arthur’s attention.</p><p>The merman looked up with a big smile, already knowing it was just John, god knows how he knew that. John smiled back and walked to him.</p><p>“Morning, Arthur,” he greeted the merman and sat next to him, curling his legs to not keep them in the water that was really close, thankfully without any waves.</p><p>“Morning,” Arthur said back, forgetting about the compendium for now. “You know, I don’t think I’ll get used to someone else using my name.”</p><p>“Someone else?” John asked, confused.</p><p>Arthur looked startled for a moment, it was just a flash, blink and you miss it.</p><p>“Someone other than me,” he explained, seemingly not bothered by anything anymore. John decided to ignore it.</p><p>“You talk to yourself?” John asked with a teasing smile that only grew wider when Arthur blushed.</p><p>“Well, I can’t exactly talk with fish and I had to practice speaking somehow,” the merman said in his defense.</p><p>“Really? I thought you’re friends,” he continued the teasing.</p><p>“Fish are food,” Arthur replied with a huff before he sent John a warm smile. “But I stopped talking to myself now that I have you to practice with.”</p><p>John had no idea how to respond to that other than blush.</p><p>“You’re welcome,” he said after clearing his throat.</p><p>Arthur grinned at him, most likely pleased with his reaction and that he made John blush.</p><p>“How did the gang like my pearls?” the merman asked, changing the subject.</p><p>John was glad to talk about that instead of wondering why he was blushing so much around Arthur. “They were impressed,” he admitted proudly. “But they were wondering where I found them since I can’t swim.”</p><p>When Dutch noticed the addition to the camp box later that evening, he was impressed with what John brought and announced it to the rest of the gang, hoping that it would motivate others to work just as hard as his precious son. Some congratulated him, others were jealous but in a healthy way and it really motivated them to beat John’s recent dotation to the box. Bill, on the other hand, along with Micah, were just envious and angry. They were the first ones to question how John got the pearls.</p><p>Most of the gang was sitting by the fire then so everyone was looking at him exceptionally, waiting for the answer. John was bad at handling such pressure when he wasn’t ready for it, but yesterday he didn’t even blink when he came up with a lie on the spot and told it a second after Micah asked where he got the pearls and how he survived.</p><p>“What did you tell them?”</p><p>“That I robbed some poor fella who dived for them earlier.”</p><p>John hopped then that nobody but Arthur knew that there was no pearl in this part of the cost. Thankfully, nobody questioned him anymore, not much at least. Sean joked he probably robbed some old lady to get those pearls. Hosea told him they were too fresh and weren’t the part of any necklace because of the lack of holes in them.</p><p>“Glad they liked it,” Arthur said, pleased that he could help.</p><p>“Yeah, I don’t need to bring anything for a few days at least,” John noticed. When Arthur gave him the pearls yesterday he didn’t know yet he would be that happy to be excused from getting money for the gang for a while. That was Arthur’s goal, he never denied it but when John was putting those pearls in a box, he was doing it without any ulterior motive, only with helping the gang in mind. Now he was happy anyway that he could now use it to spend more time with the merman and not feel guilty about not helping the gang, even if it wasn’t his motivation in the first place.</p><p>“So I didn’t have to dive for this?” John watched Arthur with puzzled expression when the merman gave him the book open on a chapter showing horses’ breeds in America. Quarter horse, Missouri Fox Trotter, Canadian horse, Standardbred, Florida Cracker, Appaloosa, and few others.</p><p>Arthur crawled into the water and swam towards one of the corners of the bay. When he came back, he was holding something wide and shiny in his hand.</p><p>John had to cover the book and his face when Arthur shook his head like a dog to get rid of the water from his hair, his gills closing once he wasn’t swimming anymore. It was so strange to see his neck just open like that even though John was aware it wasn’t any wound. Still, he wasn’t used to seeing lungs outside of the body like he was seeing Arthur’s gills now.</p><p>“What is it?” he asked, pointing at the object in merman’s hands.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Arthur admitted and showed him his gift. “But you can look through it.”</p><p>Once Arthur dried his hands on John’s clothes again and took the compendium back, John examined the object closer. It indeed had an optic part to look through like binoculars but it wasn’t working the same way. There were some knobs and one part had numbers carved on it.</p><p>The whole thing was a little rusty, it must’ve been laying underwater for a while but still looked like it was worth some money, even if it wasn’t gold like the color would suggest. It certainly wouldn’t have ended with rust if it was a real gold.</p><p>“I don’t know what it is either,” John admitted. Maybe Hosea would know. Hosea knew everything. “Maybe it’s a merman thing?”</p><p>“Why would we use something like that?”</p><p>“I don’t know, I don’t even know how to use it, and you neither. It could be your thing.”</p><p>Arthur looked at the object and shook his head. “I don’t think so, I found it on a ship wreck,” he clarified. Well, there goes John’s theory. “Besides, we don’t have glass underwater. And we can’t make things with metal.”</p><p>John was feeling stupid he thought it could’ve been something created by merpeople. Of course they couldn’t create something out of metal when they didn’t have forges.</p><p>“Where is that ship wreck?” he asked, interested, putting the object away for now.</p><p>Arthur looked towards the ocean. “A little to the south from here, near my colony.”</p><p>“I don’t know where your colony is,” John reminded him with a smile, which Arthur returned.</p><p>“I don’t know how to explain it to you, I don’t know how you measure distance in the water,” Arthur admitted. “If it helps, it takes me twenty minutes to get to my colony from here. The ship is a little farther away.”</p><p>John still didn’t know where it was exactly, he didn’t even care that much since he couldn’t get to it anyway, he just wanted Arthur to keep talking, he still knew little to nothing about the merman, it was interesting to listen about his dives to some shipwrecks.</p><p>“Is it old?” he kept asking.</p><p>Arthur shrugged. “I suppose.”</p><p>John looked at the object again. If it was made by humans and was used on ships, maybe it was something used for navigation?</p><p>“You find ships a lot?” John asked again, turning to Arthur.</p><p>“Sometimes. There is always something interesting there.”</p><p>“Any treasures?” John doubted there were any, ships filled with gold from the New World were sailing through Atlantic towards Europe, not through Pacific to Japan or China. But there were Hawaiian Islands on the Pacific, so maybe some ships with valuables going back and forth between islands and the US sank somewhere in between and Arthur found them.</p><p>“Not really.” John still was disappointed despite being ready to hear it. “Most things I find are in a terrible state. Why? You want me to bring you something?”</p><p>“That won’t be necessary.” He wasn’t even asking to get something from it. Getting a treasure from the bottom of the ocean would be nice but he didn’t want to use the merman like that, even though Arthur offered it himself. But that wasn’t the only problem. “If I keep coming back to camp with stuff found only in the ocean, my friends will start suspecting I’m lying to them.”</p><p>“Just tell them what you told them about the pearls,” Arthur suggested. If only it was so easy. “Or I can teach you how to swim so you can tell you got them yourself.”</p><p>“No thank you,” he refused right away. He wasn’t going into deep water, not now, not ever. “None would believe I or people from here are diving to the sunken ship wrecks,” John pointed out. “I appreciate your help but until I’m really desperate, just keep it.”</p><p>John handed the mysterious object back to Arthur who took it hesitantly.</p><p>“Shame, I really wanted to know what it is,” he admitted with a chuckle and tossed the thing to the water.</p><p>“Maybe I can draw it and show it to my friends later,” John suggested and opened his satchel, pulling out the journal and a pencil before looking at Arthur with a smirk. ”But you would have to get it back.”</p><p>Arthur groaned and put the compendium away before getting into water. He didn’t throw the object too far but he still had to dive a little to retrieve it. It wasn’t a problem for him yet he still looked angry about it, even more so when he noticed how amused John was by it.</p><p>“Here is your thing,” he said, putting it in John’s lap with a little force.</p><p>John chuckled. “Good thing you didn’t throw it at me like that fish one time.” He could've said goodbye to his nose after that. Or even his life, that thing was heavy.</p><p>Arthur narrowed his eyes. “I should’ve had.” Still maintaining eye contact, he wiped his hands on John’s shirt, his claws almost tearing a hole in it. John didn’t stop grinning which was only annoying the merman even more.</p><p>He realized he should've stopped when he suddenly felt a sharp pain in his side. John hissed and squirmed away from the claw that punctured his flesh.</p><p>“Okay, I deserved that,” he admitted and turned to look at the smugly looking merman who, staring him dead in the eyes, licked the blood from his claw. John gulped and looked down where he started to pull his shirt from his pants to look at the damage. “I hope it wasn’t your way of tasting me and you’re not planning to eat me now,” John chuckled nervously, still avoiding eye contact and desperate to change the atmosphere.</p><p>The wound was small but still bled a little. It looked like he was bitten by one tooth snake, only without immediate swell around the wound and less painful.</p><p>So that how fish felt before their death from Arthur’s hands, John thought to himself and moved his gaze back to Arthur when he didn’t hear him respond. The merman was just smiling innocently, which was even scarier than hearing an actual answer. But when that smile cracked and turned into a full wide grin, it soothed John’s nerves that spiked up when for a short moment he really thought he was going to become Arthur’s meal. He should’ve known better.</p><p>“You’re a bastard,” John told him and opened his journal while Arthur snorted.</p><p>“You started it,” he noticed and moved closer. Even after feeling what a dangerous weapon those claws were and how easily Arthur could kill him, John still wasn’t scared. The merman was just playing, John wasn’t feeling threatened by him. “Can you even draw this?”</p><p>“Are you saying my drawings look awful?” he asked the merman, offended. It didn’t matter he was thinking that too.</p><p>“Yes,” Arthur confirmed simply and grinned. That smile was so contagious John had to smile back, even though he was still offended. With a huff, he shoved the journal at the merman, cursing himself when it connected with Arthur’s still wet chest.</p><p>“Draw it yourself then.”</p><p>“With pleasure.”</p><p>Arthur took that weird object from him and started drawing. To pass the time, John checked the wound again. It already stopped bleeding, it wasn’t that deep to be life threatening to begin with.</p><p>After stuffing the shirt back into his pants, John looked back at the merman who was completely focused on his drawing. It shouldn’t take him much longer, it wasn’t a complicated drawing after all. Still, John decided to use that time to relax a little.</p><p>He leaned back on his hands and watched the bay, quickly noticing there was no way for him to get  comfortable while his legs were cramped like that, his shins almost touching the bottom of his thighs. His legs were too long to keep them like that, he could already feel them going stiff, he needed to stretch them but that would mean putting them into the water that was just a few inches away from the tips of his boots.</p><p>Instead of wetting his clothes and footwear or moving away from the water and ending slightly behind Arthur, which would be rude, John, after a short consideration, pulled the boots off along with socks and rolled up his pants before stretching his legs and putting them into water right next to Arthur’s tail.</p><p>He sighed when the cool water surrounded his legs almost to the knees, helping to release the tensions from the muscles. It was nice, he didn’t know it would be, he tended to stay away from the water and whenever he was forced to go in, to cross it or take a bath in a river or a lake, he was either annoyed by the water in his boots or didn’t even pay any attention to his legs other than to clean them and the rest of his body as quickly as he could, so he could get the hell away from that death trap that was water. He never just sat like this. On the shore, sure, but not like this. His feet were free, no socks stuck to them, no slushing in his boots and he liked the feeling of the water around them. It was calming, somehow different than just sitting naked in a tub.</p><p>John looked at the tail curled near his legs. Very small fish he didn’t even know were there were nipping at it before some of them started doing the same to his feet, so gently he couldn’t even feel it.</p><p>He moved his left foot a little, scaring little fish for a moment before they came back. He did it again, moving the whole leg this time. Water was restraining his movements and yet they felt almost light, like his leg wasn’t weighing anything. </p><p>It was still nothing compared to how easy Arthur’s tail was moving. For it, water was no resistance, the slim tip swayed lazily to the sides and up and down, moving the huge tail fin and stirring the sand on the bottom. Watching it was like watching a whip slashing through the air, it looked so effortless.</p><p>Out of curiosity, John nudged it with his foot. The scales were slick and the fin was surprisingly firm and strong for something looking so delicate, like it could be torn by the gentle touch. Arthur curled the tail towards him, brushing his feet with the wide fin as if saying it was okay to touch. John had no idea why would it be okay but maybe it was because Arthur was fascinated by human feet that for once were attached to a living human and not to a dead body.</p><p>John chuckled under his breath at the thought of that and wiggled his fingers against the merman’s tail. When he checked him, Arthur was staring at his legs.</p><p>“Don’t even think about getting a closer look,” John warned him, knowing what the merman was thinking about.</p><p>Arthur looked back at him and let out a snort.</p><p>“I would never,” he promised and brushed the fin over the bottom of John’s feet.</p><p>John pulled his legs back on instinct while trying very hard not to laugh.</p><p>“Stop that,” he said to the merman when he tried to do it again. This time John moved his feet away in time.</p><p>“Stop what?” Arthur asked innocently and managed to tickle John again.</p><p>He pulled his legs back on land so sharply it made a big splash, almost damaging the journal.</p><p>“You’re a bastard,” John repeated and deliberately kicked the tail. Without boots, he could feel what a mass of muscles it was, his toes hurt after the contact with it so he put them back to the water to ease the pain with coolness. And to get back to relaxing.  </p><p>Arthur only chuckled and returned to sketching, his tail once again brushing over John’s feet but without tickling him this time. John watched as the fin folded like a hand fan. The flexible tip of the tail curled around his ankle like a snake before retreating the same way it came. The feeling of scales being dragged against the thin skin of his legs made John shiver.</p><p>Their limbs stayed connected underwater, occasionally they moved them to touch each other for no reason other than to feel one another, like humans would bump their shoulders from time to time while sitting together. The tail laid on John’s legs, swaying just like before when it was alone in the water, brushing over the sensitive skin, tickling it and making the whole leg twitch sometimes but this time on accident. John was nudging it back here and there, feeling the firm fin or sharp scales scratching him gently whenever he moved his foot up the length of the tail. It was surprisingly nice and John was sure not many people could say they’ve done the same thing, just sitting and playing with merman’s tail in the water, ever in their life.</p><p>It went on till Arthur announced he was done a few minutes after. John was surprised it took him this long to finish a simple sketch that should take about two minutes, the object wasn’t complicated at all, but when he looked at the drawing, he understood why it wasn’t done in a minute like John would’ve done it.</p><p>“You’re really good at this,” John said in amazement, staring at the drawn object that not only had the right proportions, it even had shadowing done right, or John assumed it was right, he was terrible at this.</p><p>“I could be better if I had something to practice with,” Arthur admitted, looking proud of himself.</p><p>Maybe you will, John thought and smiled at the merman. “Couldn’t you have drawn this with less talent? When I show it to Hosea he won't believe it was me who drew this.”</p><p>“Nobody was stopping you from drawing it yourself. But then nobody would recognize what it is, so you should be glad one of us knows what he’s doing.”</p><p>John huffed annoyed. “I ain't that bad.” He was often complaining about his art but whenever someone else was doing the same, he was sometimes acting defensive.</p><p>“You’re not,” Arthur agreed with a small smile on his lips that made John’s heart warm up a little. “But I still need help to recognize what this is.”</p><p>Arthur turned the page and pointed at the drawing of the pearls John did this morning.</p><p>“I keep some of your pearls,” John explained, suddenly feeling shy about it. “I know you gave them to me so I can give it to the gang but I wanted to have some. It was a gift after all.”</p><p>“That’s sweet,” Arthur noted, smirking, making John blush. “That’s nice of you to keep them. And it’s a nice drawing.”</p><p>“Yeah, I need some sand to make them look better,” John said, still a little awkward. “And thanks.”</p><p>“You’re welcome.”</p><p>To avoid looking at the smiling merman, John put his journal back to the satchel.</p><p>“And how do you like my present?” he asked and nodded at the compendium laying on the sand. Arthur picked it up, still opened on the chapter with American horses.</p><p>“It’s amazing, I spent half the night looking at the pictures with the moon giving me light,” he admitted and got back to the previous chapter, his finger acting as a tab to know where the horses were. “There are so many animals I’ve never seen and never will. Like this one. I like this one.”</p><p>“I don’t,” John laughed when Arthur pointed at the cougar. “Those are nasty things, you wouldn’t like to stand in front of it.”</p><p>“I don’t like meeting with orcas but I still think they are amazing creatures.” John couldn’t really blame him for that, he considered many dangerous animals beautiful too, but he preferred to see them from afar, not to fight with them and look them into mouth like with those wolves a few months ago. John’s healed scars started to itch. “What is that animal's name?”</p><p>Arthur was still pointing at the big cat.</p><p>“It's a cougar or mountain lion.” Just like with everything else that was new, Arthur repeated the name a few times to know how to pronounce it. “You like anything else?”</p><p>John already knew what was coming next, he only smiled when the merman got back to horses.</p><p>“I like those,” he said, mesmerized. When John looked into his eyes, all he could see in them was amazement. “Horses, right?”</p><p>“Right,” John confirmed, his smile still intact when he was watching how captivated Arthur was with those animals. He couldn’t blame him, he loved horses too. There was no better animal than those. Some people liked dogs better, calling them the best friends of humanity but without horses, humans would’ve been doomed a long time ago.</p><p>“I don’t know why I like them,” Arthur admitted, touching the drawing of a Quarter horse. It looked almost like he was petting it, it was sweet but at the same time sad. Arthur loved something he couldn’t even touch. “There is just something beautiful about them or…”</p><p>“Majestic,” John finished for him, not even sure if Arthur knew that word.</p><p>“I don’t know what that means.” Just what he thought. “But it feels like it fits. I only ever saw them from a distance and on ships but they always looked special to me.”</p><p>John chuckled under his breath. “It means something is really beautiful and great,” he explained. Arthur nodded in understanding, now watching the illustrations sadly. John bit his lower lip, wanting to help the merman somehow and he thought he knew how. “Hey, wanna see a horse up close?”</p><p>Arthur turned to him so quick it was almost scary. Just how fast merfolks were?</p><p>“You can do that?” he asked, his voice full of hope.</p><p>John cursed at himself in his head. He should’ve first checked if it was possible to bring a horse to the bay instead of raising Arthur’s hopes up like that. But if it wasn’t possible, he could always find the other way. There had to be places here easily accessible for both a horse and a merman, the coast was long after all and it couldn’t be all cliff.</p><p>“Sure, wait here,” John told him and got up, not even bothering with putting his boots back on before rushing up the cliff, making sure it was safe for the horse to get down this way. The stones hurt his bare feet but he just ignored it and continued climbing till he was on the top. “Hey, mister.”</p><p>Old Boy pulled some grass from the ground and looked at John while chewing, his head still bent down. The gelding was watching him while he walked to his saddle and picked up a bridle to put it on Old Boy. Otherwise getting him down the path would be impossible.</p><p>“Sorry to interrupt your meal but I have a friend who really wants to meet you,” John explained to his horse while putting the bridle on him. Old Boy huffed when John opened his mouth. “Just a second.”</p><p>When a bit was in place and everything was secure, John happily grabbed the reins and tugged the gelding towards the path.</p><p>“Now careful,” he warned him, going first to make more space for the huge Hungarian. Old Boy became skittish when he noticed how high they were. He neighed frightened and stomped his hooves, determined to stay in place. “It’s okay.” John was speaking to him in a soft voice to calm him down. Patting Old Boy’s nose, he gently tugged at the reins and made the horse take one step further. “There you go,” John praised him. “Not so bad, huh? Plenty of space to walk, just need to be careful, that’s all.”</p><p>Step by step, Old Boy slowly walked down, still a little unsure but trusting his rider. John talked to him the whole time and turned his eyes from him only to watch where they were going. When he felt sand under his feet, John released a breath he was holding this whole time and smiled with pride at his horse who shortly joined him in the bay.</p><p>“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?” he asked and brushed Old Boy’s nose while looking at Arthur to see his reaction.</p><p>The merman was in the same place John left him but now turned towards the path and stared at the horse with disbelief that quickly turned into amazement when he realized the horse was really there, close like never before.</p><p>Arthur moved, crawling towards them. The movement of his tail caught Old Boy’s attention. The horse neighed in panic and raised on his hind legs, tugging at the reins in John’s hold who quickly gripped them tighter and pulled Old Boy back down.   </p><p>“Easy, boy,” he said to the horse, desperately trying to calm him down. Poor thing thought Arthur was a snake. “It’s not a snake, he’s not dangerous.”</p><p>But Old Boy had a different opinion on that. He started stomping with his hooves, his ears lying flat on his head, tail flicking to the side and eyes almost popping out of his skull. To him, Arthur was a snake, or at least his tail was.</p><p>John looked at the merman who was confused by the horse’s behavior.</p><p>“He thinks you’re a danger, it’s the tail,” John explained while still fighting with his own mount to keep him in place. Arthur wasn’t even close yet.</p><p>“I can’t hide my tail,” Arthur noticed, watching the panicked horse with big eyes. The merman looked scared himself.</p><p>“I know, I’ll get him calm,” John promised, shushing his frightened horse. It was working, slowly, but it was. “Go sit on the rock belt, you will reach his head that way. I can make him kneel or lay down on command but that’s not necessary. Horses spend all their life standing.”</p><p>“Even when they sleep?”</p><p>John had to smile because of that innocent question, asked in a time like that. “Even when they sleep,” he confirmed and focused his whole attention on Old Boy. “You’re embarrassing me, mister. I’m very disappointed. You are supposed to be a fearless horse and you’re afraid of a merman?” Old Boy raised again, probably because he noticed Arthur swimming. “Hey, it’s okay. Nothing wrong is happening.”</p><p>It took a few minutes and a lot of soothing words but John managed to calm Old Boy enough to try bringing him to Arthur. The merman was waiting at the rocks like John told him to do, laying on his front with his tail fully on display. Even when it wasn’t moving, it was still making Old Boy nervous but John kept bringing him closer.</p><p>“Should I keep still?”</p><p>“Preferably, yeah. Till I can get him to smell you.” John answered before he hushed his horse once more. “It’s okay, nothing to be scared of. Look, he’s half a human, you like humans, don’t you?”</p><p>Old Boy was stomping with each step, desperate to turn and run away but it already looked better than when he first noticed Arthur and his scaly tail that reminded the horse of a snake so much. Few more minutes and John finally got the gelding close enough for Arthur to touch him.</p><p>“No sudden moves,” he instructed the merman and reached for his hand. Standing between Arthur and Old Boy, John curled his fingers around the merman’s wrist and brought it to the horse. Old Boy huffed, one of his front legs splashing water all around when he was digging in the sand with powerful stomps, ready to either bolt or attack. “Let him sniff you.”</p><p>Arthur was tense, probably as nervous as Old Boy and just like the horse, he didn’t know what to expect from this strange creature he was really seeing for the first time. John had to show them there was nothing to be afraid of. Gently, he moved Arthur’s hand to Old Boy, hoping that the gelding wouldn’t bite but so far, he only was trying to pull his head away. When there was nowhere to run anymore, the horse sniffed at the hand that was being presented to him.</p><p>The pull on the reins started to weaken until it disappeared completely and Old Boy lowered his head, understanding finally that nothing was going to jump at his throat to bite it. He was still shifting his legs nervously but without the previous force, agitated but not terrified anymore. It could all change when Arthur would move his tail again but so far, everything was under John’s control.     </p><p>“That’s it,” he breathed with relief and smiled, first at Old Boy, then at Arthur who still looked unsure. “I’m sorry about that, horses can be very skittish, especially around snakes and you look like one.”</p><p>“I understand,” Arthur assured, not moving his eyes away from Old Boy whose nose was almost touching the tips of his fingers. John was still holding the merman’s hand. “I didn’t expect him to be this big. And to look so dangerous.”</p><p>“There are horses that are bigger,” John chuckled. “As for dangerous, horses rarely attack, they prefer running away. Just because something is dangerous doesn’t mean it wants to hurt you. You’re safe.”</p><p>Arthur nodded unsure, still shaken after Old Boy’s little fit. “Is he okay now?” he asked with worry. John smiled hearing it.</p><p>“Yeah, he’s okay. He’s a brave boy.” John released the rains and stroked the horse’s neck gently, soothing him further. “Want to touch him?”</p><p>“Please.” Smiling even wider, John brought Arthur’s hand to Old Boy’s nose and put it there before taking back his own hand.</p><p>Old Boy huffed but didn’t move, only stared at Arthur who stared back in amazement. John watched this first encounter between two different species that were never meant to meet, how they slowly got used to each other. Even when Arthur moved and his tail with him, Old Boy remained calm, his eyes focused only at the merman’s own eyes that studied him closely and vice versa.</p><p>It was an incredible experience, one on a million and John was lucky enough to witness it.</p><p>“He’s soft,” Arthur spoke eventually, now sitting closer to the horse in front of him, with hand still on his nose, just resting there and watching with fascination how it moved with each breath.</p><p>John had to laugh at the first words after such a big meeting. “He is,” he agreed and sat next to Arthur, watching him nervously petting Old Boy’s snout. “His mane, his hair I mean, is soft too.”</p><p>Arthur looked at him making sure it was okay to keep touching Old Boy before he carefully moved his hand to the mane, threading his fingers through it. The merman was startled when the horse suddenly shook his head.</p><p>“Did I do something wrong?”</p><p>“No, they do that sometimes,” John assured him and joined the petting, brushing the mane with his fingers. “Unless you find a knot you don’t hurt them. I keep his mane brushed so there are no tangles, you’re good.”</p><p>Arthur nodded and brushed the mane away from Old Boy’s eyes, a confusion visible on his face. “He sees anything through his hair?”</p><p>“He can see just fine.” John clicked with his tongue and Old Boy turned to him, shoving his head to John and almost knocking him over. “You like Arthur, boy?” The gelding snorted. “Yeah, good horse.” I like him to, he added in his mind.</p><p>Old Boy faced the merman again. He got a little braver and stretched his neck to sniff at Arthur’s and chest which tickled him. Arthur laughed and shifted away but Old boy actually stepped closer and moved to the tail, a little cautious, but curious.</p><p>Arthur became still, at least his tail because his hand found its way to Old Boy’s neck and stroked it gently, careful to not hurt the horse with claws. John watched them getting to know each other. Old Boy was curious like any animal and him sniffing wasn’t that interesting.</p><p>Arthur on the other hand, now that was something worth watching. The merman was simply in love, John couldn’t describe the look on his face with any other words. It was just love, mixed with fascination, but love nonetheless. He was looking at Old Boy like he never saw a more beautiful animal, and was touching him with a gentlest that was normally reserved for a small child, not a huge horse.</p><p>“He’s beautiful,” Arthur whispered. John couldn’t agree more. He kept watching fondly as Arthur kept examining the horse, poking the ears that twitched under the touch, stroking the coat. He even looked down to watch the hooves, probably tempted to go underwater and have a closer look. John wasn’t sure it would be a good idea but thankfully Arthur didn’t ask to do that and just observed and touched some more, fascinated with how the muscles were shifting whenever Old Boy moved. “Does he have a name??”</p><p>“Old Boy.” John opened his satchel and pulled a little pack with sugar cubes.</p><p>“He’s old?”</p><p>“Five years old, his mane just makes him look like an old horse so I called him that,” John explained and showed Arthur the sugar. “Want to feed him?” he asked, shaking the box that caught Old Boy’s attention. He turned his whole body towards John. “Just a second, boy. Give me your hand.”</p><p>Arthur did what was asked and John placed a sugar cube on his open palm, then pushed it towards Old Boy.</p><p>“Keep your fingers away, he can bite accidently,” he warned the merman who offered his hand to the horse.</p><p>Seeing something on it, Old Boy moved his head and sniffed the cube before happily pushing it into his mouth with his lips. Arthur chuckled in a childish delight and looked at John, waiting for another cube when the gelding kept sniffing and licking his hand.</p><p>“Just have the whole box,” John said and gave him everything.</p><p>Usually John was giving the cubes as treats for a job well done, not as regular food but he made an exception and let Arthur feed Old Boy the whole thing, one by one, watching the merman’s smile grow every time until it became painful to watch it with how wide it was. John didn’t have a heart to stop him, not when Arthur was loving it so much.</p><p>By the end of the box, Old Boy was pretty much as in love with Arthur as Arthur was in him and he was letting the merman do anything to him. He didn’t even get scared when that scary tail from earlier dangled near his legs or brushed over them in the water. Old Boy was always easy to bribe but this was ridiculous, a couple of minutes and he was basically Arthur’s horse now.</p><p>“I don’t know how I’ll now get him back,” John joked, watching as Arthur talked gently to his horse, calling him a good boy and a very pretty animal. Old Boy seemed to like the attention. “Traitor,” he murmured at the horse who started to kiss laughing Arthur.</p><p>“The treats always work on animals,” the merman noted, pushing the horse away and John didn’t ask how the hell he knew that. Who knows what merpeople were taming underwater. He didn’t even want to know. “Thank you, John.” John blinked surprised, focusing on something more than just a happy smile on Arthur’s face. “I never thought I would get to see a horse from this close. Not to mention touch it. If anything, I expected to find one dead on the beach somewhere.”</p><p>“It’s nothing,” John assured him, returning his smile. “It’s not like I made some great sacrifice. I have a horse so I showed him to you.”</p><p>“Still, you didn’t have to do this so…” Arthur looked down for a moment before continuing, a genuine gratitude in his eyes. “Thank you.”</p><p>John nodded awkwardly and hung his head low, feeling his cheeks becoming pink with blush. He cleared his throat when he noticed it was a little clenched when he tried to speak. He wasn’t used to people acting like that towards him, he was used to folks trying to kill him, not thanking him for small things. “You’re welcome,” he said quietly and licked his lips before looking at the merman again. Arthur watched him for a few seconds then focused on a horse again. John felt almost jealous their time was being stolen like that, then he rolled his eyes at himself.</p><p>There was nothing to be jealous of.</p><p>Arthur kept asking about Old Boy so John told him how Hosea bought the gelding when John lost his old horse while running away from the law. Poor thing didn’t feel a thing, it was a clean shot to the head but it still hurt to see his dear horse just die like that. He was so used to her it was strange to ride Old Boy at first but with time, he learned to love the gelding just like his beautiful mare.</p><p>“She was a good horse,” John explained with sadness in his voice. It was always there whenever he spoke about her. “A Quarter horse, just like the one in the compendium.”</p><p>A story about Old Boy turned into a complete lesson about horses, how to take care of them, what they eat and what colors their coats can be. John could talk about horses for hours and it turned out that Arthur could listen about them just as long, and that’s exactly what happened.</p><p>Old Boy wandered away in the meantime, now resting on the beach where Arthur and John were sitting earlier and now they were heading back there to start the fire. It was time for dinner. John struggled with walking in the water, he should’ve just walked on the sand but the water was nice and warm now after the sun started warming it up. He envied Arthur who, like an asshole, started swimming around John till the water was deep enough for that, mocking him for going slow.</p><p>“You need help, John?” the merman asked with a grin, lazily floating on the surface before he shot through the water like a bullet with one powerful move of his tail. He practically glided through the water and reached the shallows where he crawled on land and turned to watch John struggle with a few more steps before he too reached the shallows and didn’t have to raise his legs above the water to move at least a little bit faster.</p><p>“Bastard,” he said to Arthur who laid comfortably on the sand that became damp under his wet body. “I’m gonna pick some wood for the fire.”</p><p>“I’ll keep an eye on Old Boy,” the merman offered and crawled closer to the horse. Old Boy lowered his head to meet with him and sniff at him some more.</p><p>John snorted. “Don’t get stomped on,” he warned the merman but Arthur wasn’t listening anymore, he and Old Boy were already captivated by each other. “Unbelievable,” John sighed, shaking his head. He lost a horse and a new friend. And to each other at that!</p><p>He was gone for a few minutes and when he returned, Arthur was nowhere to be seen.</p><p>“Arthur?” John called but the merman didn’t answer. Confused, John walked further down and went to a place for the fire. Old Boy was still in the bay, calm and relaxed so there was no attack that happened. “Probably in the water.”</p><p>When the fire was ready, John took out the canned strawberries and left them on the beach before he walked towards the water to see if he could notice Arthur in it. The deeper part of the bay was dark as always, John couldn’t even see the bottom or the sides of the rocks he was standing on. The waves weren’t helping either, they weren’t big, not even close to the ones that made John fall into the water the first time, but they were making the water even harder to see through.</p><p>Still, John tried. He watched the surface for any sign of Arthur moving under it. All he saw was more waves. The worst part of this was that Arthur, if he was there, was seeing him perfectly. That damn merman was born to hunt helpless humans standing by the water. John was even sure he was being watched just like the first time, when he noticed a strange blue blink somewhere beneath the surface, like a flick of a fire on the match that was quickly put out.</p><p>John looked closer. Was something there? Or someone? He really hoped it was Arthur because if he was looking at another merperson that wanted to kill him then John was already dead.</p><p>No matter how much he squinted his eyes, the water was still too dark to see anything. Instead of looking everywhere, he focused on one spot in front of him, close to the rocks. He was nervous, looking at god knows what, if there even was something. He was sure there was, he was still feeling watched and whatever it was, it was right there, he just knew that.   </p><p>John was staring into that one spot intensely but he still didn’t even have time to react when a clawed hand launched out towards him from the water and grabbed him by the ankle.</p><p>“Fuck!” he screamed and almost fell into the water behind him, just like that one time. The hand released him, panting, John kept his balance and stared into the dark water that looked like nothing was there again. Until Arthur swam closer to the surface and emerged from under it with a smirk.</p><p>“You’re so easy to catch,” the merman laughed at him while John was still trying to catch his breath after that surprise.</p><p>“Fuck,” he cursed again before glaring at the merman who climbed on the rocks next to him. “I knew you was there!”</p><p>“Really?” Arthur doubted with a teasing smile. “So why was you scared?”</p><p>“Shut up,” John snapped at him, which only made the merman laugh. John jumped down to the water. “Is that how you would hunt humans? And how long was you looking at me?”</p><p>“Pretty much, yeah. And just a few seconds,” Arthur answered, following him, his heavy body hitting the water with a loud splash when he slid from the rocks. “I saw you standing there and couldn’t help myself.”</p><p>“I’ll repeat that till I die, you’re an asshole.”</p><p>“I thought I was a bastard.”</p><p>John didn’t have to turn around to know the merman was smiling.</p><p>They returned to the fire, only when they were there, John noticed a package made from some rag that Arthur dragged with him.</p><p>“Is that our food?” he asked, sitting down cross-legged and pulling out a cigarette from his satchel. He needed to calm himself.</p><p>“Yes.” Arthur laid the rug and uncovered what was inside. Two fish, no surprise there but there was something there too. Something that looked disgusting. “I caught us shrimps.”</p><p>So that's what it was. John breathed out the smoke from a cigarette and grimaced when Arthur picked one shrimp to show it to him. It looked like a pink worm but with legs and big black eyes. It was already dead but it wasn’t making it any more appetizing.   </p><p>“That’s great,” John said with a forced smile and took another drag of smoke. He picked up a can with strawberries. “I got this.”</p><p>He tossed the can to Arthur who started watching it from every side.</p><p>“What’s that?”</p><p>“Strawberries in syrup. It’s a fruit.”</p><p>“Oh, a plant.” Arthur seemed excited to try it but didn’t know how to open the can. John wished he could’ve been that excited to eat shrimps. The longer he looked at them, the more horrified he was. “Can I eat it now?”</p><p>“Later, first the fish.”</p><p>Arthur waited for John’s fish to cook before he started eating. John watched if the merman was going to use his human teeth again or the fangs like John told him was okay. While Arthur hesitated for a moment or two, he used his fangs eventually, easily cutting the flesh from a fish. To John’s surprise, what disturbed him more was how Arthur just bit off the whole head like it was nothing, not the fangs itself.</p><p>After fish, Arthur insisted on trying shrimps. John was disgusted to even touch them but he took one from the merman’s hand and watched it suspiciously, as if it was going to jump at him at any moment.</p><p>“It looks… interesting,” John stated eventually, not wanting to insult Arthur. “When did you catch them? Now?”</p><p>“No, at night,” he answered and put one shrimp into his mouth. John grimaced when he heard the crunching sound. He gripped the shrimp in his hold a little tighter, it was kind of hard under his figners.</p><p>“You read half of the night and the other half you hunt,” John realized, still delaying eating the shrimp. Maybe if he could be lucky, he could hide it somewhere and never try it, only pretending he did. “You slept at all tonight?”</p><p>“Too excited.” This man was ridiculous, John thought fondly. “Well? You gonna try it?” Arthur asked and ate another shrimp himself. John fully expected it to see it crawl down his throat.  </p><p>“I’m not sure I want to,” he admitted, looking at the shrimp with disgust again. He was holding it by its tail or at least he hoped it’s a tail.</p><p>“You’re scared of a shrimp?”</p><p>“I’m disgusted by a shrimp,” John corrected him. Arthur snorted. “What are you laughing at?”</p><p>“Nothing,” Arthur assured but there was still a smile on his lip. John glared at him, offended. “You humans are just so sensitive. Eating human flesh is disgusting, eating other animals is disgusting.”</p><p>“It’s not my fault that shrimp looks like this, look at it!” Arthur wasn’t fazed by that shrimp at all. “It looks like a worm. It’s disgusting.”</p><p>John waited for Arthur to say something in defense of his food but the merman just watched him. With the corner of his eye, John noticed him moving his hand and soon enough he knew what Arthur was doing. Just like with the blood, Arthur stared right into John’s eyes while he put a shrimp in his mouth, making sure John could see its head before it disappeared behind his lips. John shivered when he heard that crunching sound again. In a second, the shrimp was on its way to Arthur’s stomach who cleaned his lips with that weird tongue of his.</p><p>“Delicious,” he said and started laughing at the sight on John’s face. “Just try it. Cook it if you must.”</p><p>“I don’t even know how,” he sighed and just put the shrimp on one of the stones surrounding the fire. “You want them strawberries?”</p><p>“Sure.” With a knife John opened the can and handed it to Arthur, watching as merman pulled one strawberries and held it with just his claws, examining it first before putting it in his mouth. Two droplets of syrup landed on sand and on Arthur’s tail but the merman didn’t care and just started chewing. John hoped strawberries weren’t poisonous for merpeople. If they were, it wasn’t showing yet, because all he saw on Arthur’s face was pleasure. “It’s sweet. Better than those oatcakes.”</p><p>“Oatcakes with strawberries actually taste good,” John pointed out, happy that Arthur liked strawberries. Maybe he would like other fruit too. “You gonna share them?” he asked the merman when he ate three more strawberries in a short amount of time.</p><p>Arthur looked at him confused, then at the can, and then at John again, considering.</p><p>“No,” he said finally and just got back to eating. “Eat your shrimp first,” the merman told him, a nasty smile on his face.</p><p>“I’m gonna regret this.” He couldn’t even eat his own goddamn strawberries. John picked up the shrimp. It was a little hot to touch but hopefully it was edible. Those black eyes were still scaring him and Arthur watching like a hawk wasn’t helping either. But John was an outlaw, he wasn’t going to let a stupid sea worm defeat him. A little resentful, he raised the shrimp to his open mouth and bit. It was still hard. “Damn it, what is it, a shell?”</p><p>“It’s not that hard,” Arthur noticed. He was having the time of his life while watching John right now. John scoffed at him and his smug grin. “Bite it like you mean it.”</p><p>Growling a little, John tried again. He winced when the weird shell broke under his teeth. It tasted awful but the meat inside was even worse. He coughed immediately and spat the shrimp after chewing it for a few seconds.</p><p>“Jesus, it’s even worse than I thought,” John complained and tossed the shrimp away. He needed something to drink, whisky preferably but he didn’t have any. “I’m sorry, but shrimps are not for me.”</p><p>“That’s fine,” Arthur assured, handing him strawberries. “I don’t like them that much either. Humans are tastier.”</p><p>John rolled his eyes. At this point, he was sure Arthur was mentioning eating people just to tease him. “I bet we are,” he said and ate one strawberry to kill that awful taste of a shrimp. “How do I taste anyway?”</p><p>Arthur thought about it. What was so hard with describing it?</p><p>“It was just blood so metallic, I guess.” Arthur gave him half a shrug. “Blood as any other.”</p><p>“Thanks,” John huffed in response. Why was he offended by that?</p><p>“You taste better than shrimps if you want to know,” Arthur added after a while, eating another one. He didn’t even chew it, he just swallowed it. John was going to be sick.</p><p>“Anything tastes better than a shrimp,” John noticed, enjoying more strawberries and licking a sticky syrup from his fingers. Arthur watched him intensely, making John a little nervous. He wanted to ask if something was wrong but then Arthur smirked.</p><p>“They’re not so bad,” he said and suddenly threw one at John, who jumped like he'd been burned, almost dropping the can in his rush to get rid of the shrimp.</p><p>“Aw, Jesus, Arthur!” The merman laughed while John patted himself as if a bunch of ants were crawling over him. He just didn’t know where that thing landed, he didn’t want to feel it on his skin! It was disgusting enough when it hit him on the chest where the shirt was open! “That’s disgusting, don’t throw them at me, fuck!” It was on his fucking leg! He grabbed it and tossed it back at Arthur, hitting him on the face but the merman didn’t even notice, he just laughed more. “I hate you so much.” </p><p>He was fine with seeing a brain being splattered on the wall, or a throat being split open so much the head was almost separated from the neck. But this thing? Those cursed shrimps? They were too repulsive even for him.</p><p>With his heart still hammering in his chest after that gross situation, John glared at Arthur one more time before bursting out laughing himself because of his own cowardly behavior and how ridiculous that whole thing was.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The friendship is growing :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Every Animal Is Just Meat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>John was whistling while preparing Old Boy for a ride, his horse probably hating him by now for forcing him to move every morning without any good reason. The gelding would have to get used to it because John wasn’t going to stop anytime soon. Right now, he felt like he could ride to Arthur every day for the rest of his life. He never felt such a need to spend his free time with someone before, if not counting Hosea and Dutch when he was younger and he liked to sit with them for comfort. It had nothing to do with this now, he just enjoyed Arthur’s company like no one’s else before the merman. It was kind of scary but also nice to form such a bond, and maybe it wouldn’t be even temporary like any previous interest in new people he had in the past, like Charles and Lenny. Maybe Arthur would end as that one best friend that John always wanted but never really had? He had friends, people he liked to talk to, but never someone he wanted to spend so much time with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This could be it and it was making him giddy inside.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You riding again, Marston?” a passing Side asked on her way to guard the camp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he answered simply and smiled at his friend. Sadie looked at him with suspicion before walking away. John paid her no mind and just continued with fastening the saddle belts around Old Boy. “Should be good, mister, what do you think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Old Boy turned to him and made no sound, just watched him for a few seconds. To John, he looked unimpressed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, it’s good, you don’t know what the hell are you talking about,” he said to his horse with a chuckle. He didn’t need to check the saddle again, he was saddling horses since he was twelve, he could do it in his sleep. Old Boy was just being difficult because he didn’t want to move. “It’s not that long of a ride. You need to move and later you just laze around, what’s so bad about that, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You always talk to your horse?” Bill asked. John didn’t even hear him coming closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t act like you ain’t,” John pointed out, trying to get the attention from himself because he blushed after being caught. So he liked to talk to his horse, so what? Sometimes it was his only companion on the road, and how much one human can sing during riding to fill the ambiance? “What do you want anyway?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing, just heard you talking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you’re worried now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In the army they was always first talking to themselves before they would go crazy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I ain’t in the army and as you noticed, I wasn't talking to myself, I was talking to my horse,” John reminded him, still not really sure why Bill was even here. “You need something from me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” was his immediate answer before he apparently remembered he did, in fact, wanted something. “Yes. We’re going to play poker, the boys wanted to know if you’re joining but you look busy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I have somewhere to be,” he said and smiled apologetically. “Maybe another time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Bill walked away like that. John shrugged his shoulders and checked his saddle bags to be sure he had everything, including new food for Arthur to try. Playing poker sounded nice and any other day he would gladly join but Arthur was expecting him and besides, John preferred going to him anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He just placed his foot in the stirrup when he heard a surprisingly booming voice with heavy Iris accents.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John Bloody Marston!” Sean shouted. John turned to the sound on his voice and barked out a laugh when he noticed Lenny carrying the redhead on his back like a baby, only much heavier and much more annoying. “How dare you spit on the invitation of a cripple!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell are you doing?” John asked, smiling at the absurdity of that scene. Charles, Karen and Pearson followed after the duo. “Why are you on Lenny’s back?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I needed to get to you and limping takes forever,” Sean explained. Lenny stopped near John and started panting from exhaustion. “And I wasn't going to be carried like some fucking princess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is the first and the last time I’m doing this,” Lenny warned, clearly tired and not as amused as the rest of the gang. John didn’t realize Charles was capable of smiling so wide.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sean slapped Lenny on the arm. “Shut up, horses don’t talk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do I have to do this again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because Charles wouldn’t carry me. Seriously, does anyone have a respect for a cripple in this camp?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not for annoying ones, no,” Charles said, but he was just teasing. “Wish it was your mouth that was injured.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh very fucking funny.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay, Lenny?” John asked, concerned. Lenny smiled at him from under the weight of Sean. The boy was light, he was mostly just skins and bones but Lenny wasn’t the strongest person either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” he panted, smiling again. If it was anyone else, they would have already thrown Sean off their back, if they would even carry him in the first place. But Lenny had a soft spot for Sean and Sean for him so of course Sean wasn’t lying on the ground yet, howling in pain after landing on his injured knee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who cares about Lenny, I care about my game of poker,” Sean opened his big mouth again. “Why are you not playing, Johnny?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly, why?” Karen asked too, crossing her arms over her chest. “We barely see you anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I always ride somewhere.” It was a weak excuse because it was never so regular before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now more than ever,” Pearson pointed out. “Is something wrong, Mr. Marston?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing is wrong,” he assured them. Everything was fine, more than fine even.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then where are you going?” Lenny asked, bending more and more under Sean. Charles was noticing it too and watched with concern but he clearly wasn't very fond of relieving Lenny from his misery and taking Sean on himself. “To the beach again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The beach?” he replied, trying desperately to hide how terrified he was right now. How did they know?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wasn’t you on the beach?” Sean questioned. Was it because of pearls? He told them he stole them from someone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You came back with the sand on your pants,” Charles explained. Shit. “It wasn’t the first time either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John felt frozen in place, with his mouth sewn shut. They knew. They didn’t know about Arthur but it was only a matter of time till they…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No. There were a lot of beaches around, they were on the coast for god’s sake and John doubted that his friends would now try to follow him, they weren’t like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you hated water, John,” Pearson noticed, confused. “I would expect me to go to a place like that. When I was in the navy…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hate water but I don’t mind it when I’m at safe distance,” John explained, interrupting Pearson before he could torment them all with his boring tales. “Yeah, I visit the beach, so what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you sit there all day?” Karen questioned, raising her eyebrow at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wasn't the only one suspicious of his mysterious rides, he needed to lead them away so they could leave him alone and he could finally ride, he needed to go to town before visiting Arthur and he was already wasting time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had to say something that wouldn’t make them worried because that was the last thing he wanted to do, he was already hiding something from them, he didn’t need another reason to feel bad about himself. If the risk of saying the truth weren’t that big, he would do just that. Maybe not yet, because he liked how Arthur was just his at the moment, but in a few weeks? Why not. But no matter how good he knew some of those people, he wasn’t willing to risk Arthur’s safety only to feel better himself and satisfy his friend’s curiosity. He could live with a lie, Arthur couldn’t live with a bullet in his head after he would be taken as a dangerous monster.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was funny he feared the merman himself not so long ago. The first impression couldn’t be more wrong. Apart from being a bastard sometimes, Arthur was one of the sweetest people John has ever encountered. If Arthur was a human, he would be one of those good ones that loved helping others, he was just sure of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m exploring the area, sometimes it’s the beach” John explained, trying not to show how nervous he was. If his friends would decide to ask more questions, he wouldn’t have answers and he would just run away, making them more suspicious. He couldn’t have that, they needed to believe he wasn’t hiding anything from them. “Looking for fellas to rob. Like the one with the pearls, that was because I’m riding a lot these days.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How many things to rob can be around here?” Karen asked. “The boys said the nearest town is small and there is nothing there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, leave the man alone.” John wanted to hug Dutch so much right now. The older man saved his skin by appearing out of nowhere, though he probably listened to the whole conversation. Everyone turned to the leader who approached them, with firm steps, a cigar in his hand and with that strange, leadership energy he was spreading with his sheer presence. “I’m proud that John is still working hard for all of us and ain’t stopping with one job. He’s a fine example to all of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not everyone agreed but no one protested either. John smiled thankful at the older man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Dutch.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dutch nodded and then looked at the other. “Are you okay, Sean?” he asked, watching the innocently smiling Irish.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Never have been better, boss,” he answered while Lenny was shaking under him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wish I could say the same.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Charles, help the boy, we don’t need another hurt gunman,” Dutch ordered with an amused smile. “That one is actually useful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was a low blow, Dutch,” Sean complained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lenny almost moaned with relief when Charles, after sighing tiredly, took protesting Sean into his arms. Like a princess. John grinned seeing Irish’s offended face. Not wanting for any other instruction, Charles carried Sean back to the table to get rid of the boy as quick as he could.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now get back to work or whatever you were doing, all of you!” Dutch shouted. Pearson and Karen walked away, with Lenny a couple of steps after them, massaging his back. “You go too, John.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” he said again and mounted his horse. “Will be back in the evening.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he left, he felt some of his friends still watching him. He looked back and noticed Charles staring at him from the poker table. Karen too. And when he shifted his gaze, Hosea was observing him like yesterday. Whatever was going through their heads, John knew he didn’t convince them he was just scouting. Now he could only hope nobody would try to violate his privacy and pressure him into telling the truth. Or worse, follow him one day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had to trust them like he trusted them so far. And maybe one day he would trust them enough to introduce them to Arthur. The merman would like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled imagining it, meeting so many new people with different personalities, languages, skin colors. It would be like meeting Old Boy again, only worse and John wasn’t ready for that. He didn’t want to share Arthur’s company yet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Old Boy was confused when instead of riding straight, they turned towards the town. It was going to be just a short visit, John wanted to buy something in town and then he would go to the bay. He stopped his horse in front of the store and entered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, welcome back, mister,” the clerk recognized him. “What can I help you with today?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” John greeted back, coming closer while looking around in hopes he would find what he was looking for. “I’m looking for a journal. Something like this.” He pulled out his own and showed it to the clerk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We got something similar, hold on.” John put the journal back into his satchel and watched as the man crouched behind the counter and shuffled a little. “Not many folks here can write so we only sell those two or three times a year. Usually the owner of the saloon buys one and the sheriff buys the second.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The clerk laid the journal in front of John when he found it. It was around the same size, with a leather cover and full of empty pages ready to be filled with drawings better than John’s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s perfect,” he said with a smile. “Any pencils?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The whole set.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The clerk showed him a little box with six pencils and a little sharpener. Arthur probably had something from the ocean he could use but if the knife was already part of the set, John wasn’t going to complain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How much?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Five for the journal and one for the pencils.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John paid for everything and packed it to his satchel that was getting uncomfortably heavy with two journals.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks a lot, partner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The clerk nodded at him with a smile that John returned before leaving the store and returning to Old Boy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t rush his horse on the way to the bay, Old Boy walked slowly, only sometimes corrected by John to stay on the road while he was busy with writing down the whole alphabet on the first page of the new journal. He used his own pencil for that, wanting Arthur to use the new set as first.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John bought the journal so merman could draw in it but he also decided to help Arthur learn how to read and maybe even write. When Hosea was teaching him how to read, he wrote John the alphabet too, so he could always check if he was writing the right letter. Of course it took more than that to learn, Hosea was helping many hours for weeks, chances of Arthur learning how to read on his own like he learned speaking were slim, but even then having an alphabet would be something useful or interesting for the merman. At least John hoped so. Maybe he could try teaching him himself and learn merpeople’s language in return. Would be nice to read the compendium together one day or maybe even some other book.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the alphabet was completed, along with numbers, because why not, John spurred Old Boy into gallop and they arrived at the cliff around twenty minutes later. John hurriedly took the saddle and made his way down the path.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He noticed Arthur immediately, the merman was in the water but the smile after seeing him quickly faded from John’s face when he noticed how red the water around him was. At first he thought Arthur was hurt but John quickly dismissed it when he heard the sound of flesh being ripped apart. And then he noticed the corpse in Arthur’s hold, a human corpse, a very fresh one. John didn’t even have the time to pretend it was a bird, a really big fish or anything else. He saw the floating human legs while Arthur was bent over the chest cavity, his clawed fingers digging in the flesh with ease, causing more blood to spill into the water.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The merman didn’t notice him, he had his back to the path so John couldn’t see what exactly was happening either but he heard it. He heard wet noise of flesh being ripped, he heard the breaking of ribs, something that was normal while skinning the animal but now, with the knowledge it wasn't a deer or a pronghorn, John’s stomach turned on itself and the bile raised to his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew Arthur was a man-eater, hell they joked about it. But knowing that and seeing that before his very own eyes? It was a lot to take in. Maybe it wouldn’t be that surprising if he saw that the first day when he considered Arthur a monster. But after he got to know him, after he started liking him, it was like a punch to the gut. No amount of talking about eating a human could’ve prepared him for seeing this, for seeing this friendly creature ripping a dead man apart and putting part of human flesh in his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The worst part was the fact that the human was fresh. He didn’t go green yet, his body wasn't swelled like some corpses of people who drowned John had seen in his day. No, the man Arthur was eating looked like he died a couple of minutes earlier. Like something caught him while he was in the water, in the boat, and dragged him under the surface to kill him and carry his body to a hidden bay where it would be safely consumed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur wasn’t like this. He said he didn’t kill humans, he had no reason to lie to John and John had no reasons to not believe him. It was probably someone who drowned on his own or fell from a cliff. Arthur didn’t kill the poor bastard, he just took the opportunity when it was handed to him. Because he was a merman and that was what they were doing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John wasn’t even angry or disappointed that he saw that. He wasn’t naïve, he wasn’t expecting Arthur to stop eating humans just because he now knew one. It was just a lot to take in, mostly just disgusting because he wasn't used to something like that. Sure, he saw scavengers eating human bodies before, but never something as human doing the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly, careful to not make a sound, John walked lower down. He was almost at the bottom when he kicked a small pebble under his feet, making a noise. Arthur turned to him with a terrifying screech and baring his fangs, blood dripping from them and his chin. When his black eyes noticed it was just John and how he jumped back on instinct, the eyes became blue and fangs hid as fast as they could.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With fear written all over his face, Arthur turned his body fully to John, the side fins rising to cover the massacred body behind him. It didn’t work well, the move of the tail in the water caused the body to float away a little, John could still see it. The sight alone wasn’t disgusting him, he saw bodies in worse shape than this. Even the blood on Arthur’s chin and hands wasn’t bothering, the fact how it got there was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John swallowed hard and took a few more steps towards the merman, not scared of him, just not yet used to that new sight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John, I…” Arthur started speaking, but he was obviously too nervous to form a proper sentence. “I didn’t… I thought… I didn’t kill him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” John nodded. The first shock was passing and his stomach calmed down a little. Probably because Arthur stopped eating and John could imagine all this blood on his face came from a seagull. “I believe you, it’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite his words, Arthur was still terrified, most likely thinking he just scared John away. If that was it, he clearly couldn’t read signs because John didn’t try to return up on the cliff, he was coming closer, stopping only at the edge of the water. He could see everything better now, the red blood spreading through the water like a poison, the open chest of a poor fella behind Arthur and the merman himself, whose eyes were filled with fear and panic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John didn’t want to see that or for Arthur to feel uncomfortable with who he was. It wasn't right.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can finish it, you know?” he said and pointed at the body. Arthur looked back at it and then at John again, confused and a little relieved that he wasn't hated. To assure him even more that he was okay with it, John smiled at the merman softly. Arthur didn’t smile back but his body became less tense. “I’ll wait by the fire.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Uncertain, Arthur nodded. He kept looking at John when he turned his body and unsurely reached for the dead human. John smiled again and walked towards their little alcove, sitting on the sand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He should probably pull out his journal and try drawing something or look elsewhere than at the feast that was happening in front of him. But he couldn’t turn his eyes away, he was even a little disappointed that Arthur turned in a way that prevented John from seeing everything. He could only hear again sharp teeth and claws sinking into human flesh, separating it from the bones that were being crushed and broken.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Couple of times he caught the glimpse of what was happening. He saw Arthur picking something that looked like a liver and eating it. He saw how he broke the bone and slipped his long tongue into the created crack, lapping at something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was messy, almost animalistic. But how could it not? Arthur didn’t have utensils to help himself, and he couldn’t cook his food, of course it looked messy and disgusting. Skinning an animal or chopping off a chicken’s head looked disgusting too and yet people were doing it. They would eat the same way if they had no other choice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Humans had means to make their food clean and neatly looking, like this pork on their plates didn’t come from a pig that was once alive and chopped to pieces by a butcher before it was cleaned and it could land on their tables. It was bloody, messy, disgusting, it was meat and it looked exactly like that, only even the butcher had a knife to help himself and yet he was still ending covered in blood every time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur had nothing to help him, no knife to cut or fork to pick up his food, so he was using his teeth and hands. He looked like an animal because that’s what he was, that’s what all of them were. Just animals. Only one species had tools and help to make it less gory while the other had not, but in the end, they were eating the same bloody and disgusting looking thing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, almost.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t a cow in Arthur’s grasp. It wasn’t a pig or a chicken. It was another human. John was watching as a highly intelligent creature was eating another highly intelligent creature. An animal. Just meat like Arthur called it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When John was looking at it like that, animal eating another animal, he didn’t feel as disgusted. It would always be a little strange to him, he was taught that bodies are supposed to be buried, this man’s family, if he had any, would like that. But a symbolic cross would do as well. In a few months, his body would be just bones anyway. They all would. Because they were just meat meant to be eaten by other animals, be it a coyote, vultures or ants. Their end would be on someone’s table. This one ended on Arthur’s, if it hasn’t been the merman, it would’ve been other creatures.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John wasn’t going to eat any human any time soon if ever. But he could accept Arthur doing it, he was doing it right now, but he wouldn’t eat like that himself. It would feel wrong even if it didn’t matter for nature.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur finished rather quickly. Maybe he was already almost done when John showed up or he hurried up to spare John the disgust, not aware yet that John was perfectly okay with it, wasn't even disgusted by it anymore. Either way, the merman threw some bone into the water and grabbed the corpse, carrying it to the deeper part of the bay. John had a perfect view to see the gruesomely opened chest and how empty it was. He was too far to see many details but he was pretty sure most of the organs were missing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man’s face didn’t look nice either, all bloodied and broken, but it didn’t have any scratch marks so it wasn’t Arthur’s work. The weird angled limbs either. It looked like the man fell or jumped from a very high spot and died from the impact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Arthur threw the body away for other animals to eat it, he cleaned his face and hands before he joined John reluctantly, still afraid. Just like the last time, John smiled at him to assure him it was okay and the merman thankfully smiled back but it wasn’t the smile John was used to. He needed to change that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice breakfast you got,” John said in a light tone but it didn’t work like he hoped it would. Arthur tensed and was very hesitant to leave the water where he was probably feeling safe. Maybe he was just staying away for John’s sake. “You full?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he answered quietly, avoiding John's eyes. When he finally looked up, his eyes were still full of fear and some of the blood was still on his chin. “I’m sorry you had to see this, I…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John raised his hand to silence him and then patted the sand next to him. Arthur crawled there and sat next to him, keeping his distance, much bigger than yesterday when they were sitting in the exact same place with their limbs in the water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be. It’s okay,” he said to the merman, smiling once again. “It’s just food.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was a human. I swear I didn’t kill him, I…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, it’s okay, Arthur.” He put his hand on Arthur’s arm to calm him. It finally worked, the merman’s body relaxed and he looked into John’s eyes. “Really. You explained already how you see it, I’m not going to expect from you to just ignore the good food. Yes it’s a human, and you’re half human but I’m not going to forbid you eating corpses now just because we see it differently on land.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It must have been exactly what Arthur needed to hear because doubt and guilt disappeared from his eyes, replaced by relief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can survive without eating humans, it’s just…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Taste good, I get it, Arthur.” John gently squeezed the arm in his hold, feeling how cold the skin was yet somehow a little burning. And how hard the muscles under it were. Arthur stared at his hand like he couldn’t comprehend that John wasn't disgusted or scared to touch him, to sit next to him. Seeing and hearing Arthur screeching with blood on his chin was scary but John wasn’t afraid. Arthur raised his gaze when John continued. “You did nothing wrong. I guess humans are animals like any other, if not you, then something else would’ve eaten this fella. You didn’t do it out of cruelty, you didn’t eat him alive so it’s all good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just a few weeks ago he would probably be horrified by what he just saw. But with Arthur’s insight on it, John was able to look at it from a neutral point of view. He really wasn't repulsed by what the merman was eating.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John nodded and smirked playfully. “As long as you don’t eat me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur chuckled, the last of the tension leaving him, finally sure that he didn’t scare John away. “Don’t worry, I’m not planning on eating you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” he nodded happily, taking back his hand. He didn’t want to be intrusive. Arthur didn’t seem to mind the touch but John wanted to be safe. “So what you’ve been eating?” he asked and began to take off his boots.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The merman looked at him surprised.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you really want to know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t,” he pointed with an encouraging smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur kept watching him, searching his face for any doubt or any sign of forcing. “You don’t have to make me feel better by making yourself feel worse,” he said worried.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine with you eating human, even when I see it. Honestly,” he assured the merman again, rolling up the legs of his pants just like yesterday. “So?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur still wasn’t convinced it was a good idea. Or maybe he just didn’t understand why John would want to know such details. John was just curious. And he wanted to encourage Arthur that there was no need to hide his man-eating tendencies from him. It was normal and he wanted to treat it like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I ate the heart and liver,” he admitted after some consideration. John nodded. That made sense, whenever he was finding dead human bodies that were eaten by animals, organs were always missing. “Some meat from the chest too but there wasn't much, that man was thin. I found him all broken south from here when I was catching fish, I think he killed himself because he had no food to eat. Or maybe he fell, I don’t know. Normally I would eat thighs too but there wasn't much meat so I just ate organs and what’s inside the bones.” When John first heard about merpeople eating humans, he expected them to eat all of them, not even leaving the bones. It was a surprise to know how picky Arthur was. It must’ve shown on John’s face because the merman looked worried. “Too much?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s good.” John felt at ease when Arthur returned his smile again. “That’s what you’ve been licking,” he realized. “That’s why you have a long tongue.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the first time, John saw the tongue in all its length when Arthur pulled it outside, stretching it as far as he could. It reached past his chin, longer than any human tongue, it had to be at least six inches long but not as wide as a human one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur curled it up, almost making a circle, because of course it was flexible, and put it back into his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wish it could be slimmer, it would be easier to get inside the bones.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s slimmer than mine.” For whatever reason, John opened his mouth and rolled the tongue out. He felt ridiculous showing it off like that, he couldn’t help but smile. Which must’ve looked silly in it’s own way when his mouth was open like that.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s a really nice tongue.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John quickly hid it and scoffed at the merman. “Shut up,” he murmured, embarrassed but also glad that Arthur was back to joking and grinning. That meant he was okay. Good. John wouldn’t want them to grow apart because of some dead body. It was shocking to see, it happened, end of story. Next time it wouldn’t be as scary to witness. “Before I forget, I know what that thing from yesterday was.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Arthur perked up. “What is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John pulled his journal, careful to not take the one he had for Arthur. He didn’t want to show it to him yet. Maybe he should, Arthur was okay already but seeing a gift would raise his spirit even more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I showed it to my father. Just like I expected, he knew what it was.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was afraid to approach Hosea because of how good the drawing was. He even thought about asking Pearson, he would know what that thing was too but by the time that thought appeared in John’s mind, he was already interrupting Hosea getting ready to sleep and it would be rude to turn around then.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hosea took the journal with Arthur’s drawing and looked at it for a moment while John stood nervously beside him. Clearly Hosea wasn't wondering what the object was, he was examining the drawing itself, how good it looked compared to monstrosities John was always drawing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, you lost your journal and someone drew it or…” Hosea asked eventually, a smirk on his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John blushed and took the journal back when it was offered to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I asked someone to draw it, didn’t want to mess it up,” he explained. Thankfully Hosea didn’t ask where that object was now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s sextant,” John explained and pointed at the word he wrote down to remember it. And to show Arthur how to spell it. The merman of course repeated the name. John waited for him before he continued, saying what Hosea told him. “It’s used on ships to navigate by watching the stars and the horizon. Like, it shows you the angle and it tells you on what latitude you are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew he probably messed it up somehow, he was never on any ship and he knew nothing about sea navigation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s the latitude?” Arthur asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John feared he would start asking. That’s why he was the worst person to teach the merman about humans. He could teach him about hunting, food but science? Arthur might have as well asked a dog. Still, John was going to try.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a geographic coordinate,” said carefully, waiting for Arthur to ask more. “It tells you where on Earth you are. And because Earth is like a big ball, you can draw lines circling it and they show you how far north or south you are from the equador.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Finally something I understand,” Arthur interrupted, a little annoyed by his confusion. “The north and the south, not the equador.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John snorted. “I don’t understand much of it either, to be honest,” he admitted. “Just to not confuse you and me more, if you look at the Sun at noon with the sextant, or the Northern Star, the angle between them and the horizon will tell you your location but I don’t know exactly how it works.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It seemed easier when Hosea was telling him this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur squinted his eyes at him before looking away, thinking it all through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna nod and pretend I understood this,” he said eventually, making John laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do that,” he practically begged and closed the journal, hopefully ending the conversation about sextant. He didn’t want to explain more when he barely understood it himself. Arthur grinned at him and John watched him for a second or two. “We can try the sextant out later, when it’s noon,” he offered, finally putting his legs in the water. “If you still have it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure I have it, in the water.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John tried to look for it but all the red spread wide now and was blocking his view of the bottom. Not to mention it was still early and the sun was behind their backs, casting a shadow with the help of the cliff.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t see it because of all the blood,” John admitted, his tone humorous but Arthur’s smile was gone when he was reminded of what happened earlier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m really sorry you saw that,” he apologized again. “Should’ve eaten it somewhere else knowing you were coming but here I had it all for myself, didn't have to worry about sharks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s really okay,” John repeated in a gentle voice. “I’ve seen bodies in worse shape.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even being eaten?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure. Maybe not by something resembling a human but still.” He watched Arthur, noticing he was still down after all this. He would probably be for a while, no matter what John would say or do. But if he could cheer him up at least a little, he was going to do it. “I have something for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur watched him curious as he put his journal on the ground only to pull another one from his satchel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s this?” the merman asked, shifting to sit closer to John, as close as yesterday. John smiled at that. Before Arthur reached his hands for the journal, he wiped them on John’s clothes like always.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I bought you something to practice you drawing in,” John explained, a little nervous about Arthur’s reaction. “It’s better than drawing in the sand or putting ink under your skin.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur chuckled and opened the journal in the middle, completely missing the first page with the alphabet. John tried not to show his disappointment, especially when the merman looked at him. He would find out about the alphabet soon enough, if not, John would just help him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You really bought this for me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said that, didn’t I?” John noticed with an amused smile. The journal was empty, it was nothing special really, yet Arthur clearly loved it already, it was obvious in the way he gently touched the pages and the leather cover. And in the smile on his face. “I also have pencils for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He dug out the box and handed it to Arthur as well. The merman took out one of the pencils right away and flipped to the first page, surprised when he found out it was filled already. John waited, curious if the merman would recognize what it is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that an alphabet?” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John nodded eagerly in confirmation and grinned. “I thought you could use some help in learning how to write and read, so I wrote down the whole alphabet and numbers. I don’t know if it will help in anything but… you know. It doesn’t hurt to try,” he explained nervously and played with the sand on his pants. That cursed sand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It certainly won’t,” the merman agreed, looking at him with a soft smile on his face. John shyly smiled back, feeling more anxious with each second, even though his gift was well received, Arthur was happy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He cleared his throat and pointed at the page. “Sorry I wrote it down before asking, maybe you wanted the whole journal to be filled with drawings, I can buy you another one or we can rip the page out. No, that would look terrible, maybe cut it? Would it still be visible?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” he snapped, which he didn’t want to do, it happened on it’s own. “Sorry,” he apologized immediately and blushed, feeling like a fool.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur wasn’t offended, he just had this grin on his face that meant he was having good fun. And obviously the source of it was John’s nervous behavior. He almost wanted to scowl at the merman for that but he stopped himself when Arthur chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were rambling, wanted you to stop before you could start panicking,” he said and John blushed harder, another apology already on the tip of his tongue, but Arthur was faster. “It’s fine, I really like it, thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The merman’s tail flipped against John’s legs. Maybe it meant something in merpeople’s language, maybe it didn’t, maybe Arthur was assuring him with his touch like John did earlier. He liked the last explanation and he touched the tail back with his foot, nudging it gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re welcome,” John said, still a little nervous, but not afraid to look into Arthur's eyes. “It’s for the sextant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t take it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, but it’s mine,” he said with a smirk. Arthur huffed. “You said it yourself, Arthur, it was for me, so it’s mine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever you say.” Arthur looked back at the journal in his hands, then at the one belonging to John. “Want me to write my alphabet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, we could learn together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly my thoughts,” he smiled and picked up John’s journal, opening it at the last page. “I’m really grateful for all the gifts, you didn’t have to get them for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, but I wanted to,” John noticed and nudged the tail in the water again. It touched back, tickling his shins.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know where I'm going to keep them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” he asked when he heard a worried tone in Arthur’s voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur looked up from the journal where few of his weird letters were already written. It was less detailed than symbols and rarely used by merpeople, mostly to learn how to pronounce words that they weren’t using that much either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The tide will be here soon,” the merman answered, nodding with his head at the ocean. “The whole bay will be underwater.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That ain’t good,” John said stupidly, looking back at the compendium that was lying under the wall of the cliff. There was no rock shelf to keep it or the journal away from the water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for confirming it,” Arthur snorted, returning to writing and completely obvious to John glaring at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He needed to do something to keep Arthur’s possession safe. But how? He couldn’t stop the tide. He could keep his stuff on the path for that time but what if it would rain? There probably wasn't much of it in California but one storm would be enough to destroy everything. Not to mention animals could damage the book and the journal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unless Arthur would have a chest. But those weren’t waterproof. Ignoring Arthur's questioning gaze, John stood up and walked closer to the wall, examining it with his eyes and fingers. It was mostly smooth with only a few bumps. And too solid to do something with it, not without the right tools. But he could work with cracks in it. He put his finger into one, high above his head, barely reaching it, even though he stood on his tiptoes and even without that he was already tall. Seemed deep enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait here,” he told Arthur and jogged towards the path.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I think I’ll follow you,” Arthur responded, making John snort.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He quickly reached his saddle, hidden in the bushes like before. Old Boy didn’t even react, happy to walk around but never wandering off. John pulled one of his throwing knives from the saddle bags and grabbed a lasso. One of those he had enough to not miss it, the other he could easily replace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He returned with everything to Arthur who was drawing now in his own journal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you sketching?” John asked, walking behind him and peeking into the journal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Old Boy,” Arthur answered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“From memory?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know it won’t look good but I’m trying my best,” Arthur explained with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I mean, it looks great already,” he admitted, amazed by the rough sketch. “It already looks better than my drawing of him and I had Old Boy in front of my eyes the whole time I was drawing him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur huffed with laughter. “I'm not surprised,” he teased and looked at what John was holding. “What you got there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll see.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The merman shrugged and got back to sketching while John returned to the wall and looked up, almost losing his hat. That would be hard to do, he had nothing to stand on and Arthur couldn’t lift him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But first thing first. He cut some part of the lasso and tied it around the handle of the knife, making a loop. He checked if it was holding tight, tugging it with all his force and when he was sure it wouldn’t untie, he put the rest of the rope through it, letting it dangle near his feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John gripped the knife firmly while bending his knees a little in preparation for the jump. Hopefully his aim he mastered while learning how to shoot would be useful for this too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Feeling Arthur's eyes on himself, he jumped and forced the knife into the crack in the wall. He wasn’t fast enough to let it go in time and it hurt his fingers a little when he fell back down and the knife stayed in the cliff, sticking out of it with the lasso dangling from the handle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perfect,” he muttered to himself and tied a knot on one side of the rope.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is perfect?” Arthur asked somewhere near John’s feet. He looked down at the merman who, propped on his outstretched hands, was looking up at the knife.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John grabbed the other end of the rope and folded it around his wrist till the knot stopped at the loop, not going anywhere. John hoped it would work. He tugged down hard and then again and again, even putting his whole weight on it and hanging inches above the ground. The knife stayed in, didn’t even move an inch. It would probably fall off if he tried to pull it forward but he wasn’t going to do that and there would be no reason to do it in the future either. Proud of his quick, improvised work, he turned to Arthur again, finally ready to explain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One of the ends of the rope we’ll tie around the little chest I’ll bring you tomorrow from town,” he said, pointing at the end with a knot. When he loosened his hold on the rope, gravity pulled the knot down. John left it on the ground with the other, ready to use tomorrow. “The other, we’ll tie around that rock.” Arthur followed his gaze and stared at the pointy rock sticking out of sand. “Whenever there will be a tide, you’ll drag the chest up and tie the rope around the rock to keep the chest above the water. This way it won’t get to it and after it will be dry here, you can put it back down to have easy access for all of your stuff.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was smiling widely, he was really proud of his work, even more so because he wasn’t good with coming up with things like that. He could repair a wheel or a broken tent, nail something down but this? It probably wasn't that hard, it wasn’t a pyramid from Giza or Brooklyn Bridge but he never knew he would be able to create something like that, so he was proud anyway, even if some builder would laugh at him for this childish construction. Maybe it was childish, but it was going to work and keep the compendium, journal and pencils dry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He watched Arthur, waiting for him to say something but the merman was quiet for a while and John was getting nervous again. When the merman finally looked back, he still didn’t say anything, just waved his finger at John to make him come closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Confused, John crouched next to Arthur. He almost fell on his ass when the merman suddenly lifted himself with one hand on one of his knees and practically collapsed against John with arms wrapped around his shoulder and neck, hugging him tight and showing how strong he really was. John managed to keep his balance in the last moment by supporting himself on his knee while he dug his foot in the sand for a more firm stance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was paralyzed, he didn’t know what to do, he and Arthur never hugged before and suddenly something so small made Arthur make the first move. It might’ve been just the culmination of every nice gesture between them, either way, Arthur was hugging him and John was feeling a little awkward because of the merman’s cold and naked chest pressing into him, but also nice. More nice than awkward really, Arthur was really good at hugging and he wasn’t a stranger, which John hated hugging him, even if just as a thank you, so he didn’t wait long to return the hug, maybe just a couple of seconds. Certainly not long enough for Arthur too feel unwelcome with his affectionate gesture.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wrapped his arms around the merman’s broad shoulders and strong back, feeling under his palms all the muscles there and even more intense coldness of the body. And he could smell the sea salt. Arthur smelled of the sea, of his home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was probably inappropriate to smell someone while hugging them, but John took a deep breath anyway and hugged just as tight as Arthur was hugging him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, John,” Arthur murmured, quiet but so close to John’s ear he heard him perfectly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John didn’t ask for what exactly he was thanking him, he had a pretty good idea what that was. “You’re welcome,” he responded and closed his eyes, shivering in the embrace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>God, Arthur was really cold but John somehow felt warm anyway.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>First hug! Many more yet to come!<br/>Eating humans is a little gross but John can deal with it for love. </p><p>There are three days left to the stagecoach robbery.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Tangled In the Water</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John was picking up different cans of food, frowning at every single one of them before putting them back and examining another. He didn’t know what to bring Arthur today. The merman really liked beans the other day so John already packed another one but he couldn’t decide what to take apart from that. He didn’t want to take only beans, he wanted to show Arthur more human food.</p><p>Choosing shouldn’t be that hard, Arthur would be pleased with anything because he never tasted any of those things. Maybe that was the problem. There were too many things to choose from.</p><p>“John.”</p><p>He turned to Hosea who walked behind him.</p><p>“Hey, Hosea,” John greeted him and holding two cans, he faced the older man. “Strange question but what would be better, pineapple or peas?”</p><p>Hosea eyebrows raised almost to his hairline as he tried to comprehend the question, shifting his eyes from one can to the other.</p><p>“That depends what you need it for,” Hosea replied finally, still unsure what John was talking to him about.</p><p>John looked at both cans, frowning again.</p><p>“I’ll eat it on the road, what will be better?” he asked again, lying swiftly, or he hoped so.</p><p>Hosea ignored his question. “So you’re leaving again?”</p><p>John watched the older man warily, trying to figure out if he had anything against John leaving. But Hosea’s face was blank and unreadable.</p><p>“So what if I am?” His voice was a little more defensive than nonchalant, which was what he was going for but after yesterday he was a little nervous with others asking about his daily escapades. He turned his back to Hosea to not look at him and give anything away with his eyes. He knew he was being rude but he didn’t care.   </p><p>“Nothing at all,” Hosea assured him. The tone of his voice was calm and non suggestive. It was making John even more nervous. “Not when you don’t have a robbery to plan.”</p><p>John sighed and gripped the table in front of Pearson’s wagon. He forgot about the robbery. He actually forgot, he didn’t think about it yesterday even once but with finding Arthur eating a human corpse and then making sure his possessions were safe, John really didn’t have time to think about it. Later they just talked and ate together, and after John returned to camp it was already late so he just went to sleep.</p><p>It never happened to him before, how could he have just forgotten? He wanted to impress Dutch with this robbery and he couldn’t even focus on the job. He wasn't even as excited as always.</p><p>He was silent for so long that it worried Hosea. The older man stepped closer and stood next to him. John looked at him unsure, seeing the worry on his father’s features made him even more guilty about forgetting.</p><p>“Hosea, I…”</p><p>Hosea raised his hand to silence him.</p><p>“Listen, John, I’m not going to ask you what are you doing out there, I don’t really care as long as you’re keeping yourself and the gang safe. I trust you, you’re a grown man, you can do whatever you please.” John nodded, glad that at least one person wasn't asking questions. “But you still have responsibilities, John. This job of yours isn’t a small shoplifting, it’s an army stagecoach and you haven’t spoken about it to others at all.” He nodded again, ashamed of his amateurs acts. “Micah asked me when he’s going to hear about the plan. Same with Javier. Lenny only knows that the robbery is happening because you haven’t told him anything either. Even if you already have the plan, you need to tell the others so they have time to be prepared. You understand?”</p><p>“Yes, I understand,” John assured, avoiding Hosea’s eyes, afraid he would find only disappointment in them. He was really a terrible leader for this job right now. Few weeks ago they would’ve been ready days before the robbery but Arthur was taking so much of his free time, they had only two days left and no one knew their part in the plan yet. Hell, John didn’t even have a plan ready. If Hosea didn’t remind him about the robbery in the first place, he wasn't sure if he wouldn’t just ride to that robbery completely blind.</p><p>“John, look at me please.” He did that, surprised Hosea wasn't disappointed, just still worried. “Like I said, I don’t know where you are going or why and I’m not forbidding you that. Just find the balance between the gang and whatever you’re doing, alright? You felt guilty about Sean getting shot, don’t lead to a repeat of that situation with that new robbery. I want to see all of you back in one piece.”</p><p>“Even Micah?” he couldn’t help but ask.</p><p>Hosea snorted. “Yes, even Micah,” he confirmed and patted John’s arm. “Can I count on you to tell the others about the plan?”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, of course,” John promised and gulped nervously, looking towards the already saddled Old Boy. Everything was ready for his ride to Arthur. “I’ll… I’ll be back at noon and take them to see the road the stagecoach will be riding, alright?”</p><p>Hosea probably expected him to change his plans right away but John couldn’t do that, he promised Arthur he would come in the morning, he wasn't going to break that promise and worry the merman. He would go, explain he couldn’t stay as long as always, spend some time with him and then go back to tell the others about the plan.</p><p>Hosea watched him intensely, like he was trying to read John’s mind and find why exactly he was going and why it couldn’t be moved to some other time. John tried not to show how nervous it was making him and with false calmness waited for Hosea to dismiss him.</p><p>“Fine, but I expect you here at noon,” he warned.</p><p>John smiled widely and quickly grabbed the closest thing that was standing on the table. He wanted to be out of here as fast as he could before Hosea could ask more questions. And to not waste that little time he got left to spend with Arthur.</p><p>Only when he was packing the food to the saddlebags, he noticed he snatched the jar of salted offal. He let out an amused huff and shook his head.</p><p>“Maybe he’ll like it,” he spoke to Old Boy softly, wary of others listening this time. “I mean, he ate a human liver, maybe he will like chicken’s as well.”</p><p>John climbed onto the saddle and squeezed his thighs around Old Boy’s flanks, making him move. He needed to go to town first for the chest. He hoped he could find one, otherwise he was going to just steal it from someone’s home.</p><p>He checked the time, he didn’t have much of it to spend with Arthur, it was already 7, they would have to eat earlier than usual. Hopefully the merman wasn’t eating another human and his stomach was empty, John himself only ate a small breakfast, mostly he just drank coffee so he was okay with early dinner.</p><p>John rode into town not even half an hour later. He looked towards the water where boats with fishermen were already in the open ocean, casting nets to catch fish. People on land were working already as well, John had to slow down to not bump into anyone.</p><p>He avoided any collision and yells aimed at him for not being careful, and hitched his horse in front of the carpenter's workshop. The man working there was pretty old but two younger men, probably his sons, were helping him in the back. John ignored them and approached the old man.</p><p>“Howdy,” he greeted, tipping his hat at the man who stopped sanding some plank to look up at him. “I was wondering if you have a chest to sell.”</p><p>“Sure do, mister,” the carpenter answered happily and waved his hand at John to follow him into the workshop. “What are you looking for exactly, lad?”</p><p>“Something small,” he answered, looking around at many different furniture standing by the walls. “But not too small, for a couple of books.”</p><p>He wanted Arthur to have more space than just for what he had now. John couldn’t be sure if he wouldn’t bring the merman more gifts in the future.</p><p>The carpenter led him to a small corner where different chests were standing one on another, the smallest obviously on top. Some of them had handles and keylock, others had none and were more of a casket than a chest. John ignored them completely and examined the bigger ones, each with the handles on top, perfect for hanging them on the lasso he left in Arthur’s bay.</p><p>“This is everything we have, anything you like?”</p><p>“Yeah, I like,” he answered excitedly. This was exactly what he was looking for. “Do they all have locks?”</p><p>The man nodded. ”And good ones too, no thief will ever get inside!” John doubted that, he opened many chests like that, no lock could stop a bullet or a good pick lock but thankfully, Arthur didn’t have to worry about thieves. Unless seagulls could open locks with their beaks.</p><p>“Will they survive the sea winds?” John asked. The chest would be out of the water but the salt was carried with wind too. “And the sun?” In the evenings, the bay was always casted in a beautiful, orange light.</p><p>The carpenter looked at him offended. “Son, we live on the coast, of course it will survive the salt and the sun. The ocean won’t disappear suddenly and the sun shines here all year, even in winter, you think we built those chests like those ain’t going to be there tomorrow?”</p><p>John blushed furiously. “No sir, ah… How much for this one?” he pointed at the random chest in light colors.  </p><p>The carpenter smirked at him before answering. “Ten dollars.”</p><p>He didn’t expect that much, he was paying like for a good book. But he supposed it was worth the price if it was going to survive being assaulted by salt in the air all day. John counted out the money and handed them to the man.</p><p>“You look strong so I won’t call my boys to help you, suit yourself. The chest is open, the key is inside.”</p><p>“Thanks,” he murmured, still blushing. He took the chest and stocked the other he had to take down, back together. The chest he bought wasn't heavy and that big, when he placed it on Old Boy’s rump and was securing it, the chest was only slightly wider than the saddle. The compendium, the journal and the pencils would fit and there would still be enough space for future gifts.</p><p>Smiling, John checked the ropes around the chest again and when he was sure it was secured, he mounted Old Boy and rushed to the bay, arriving twenty minutes later. Old Boy already knew what he was supposed to do so he just patiently waited to be free from the saddle and then he was off, down to his own business. John chuckled at him and went to mind his own, carefully stepping down the path to not fall and break his neck.</p><p>“Is that you, John?!” Arthur shouted. John maneuvered around the chest and smiled from behind the chest at the merman who was sitting on the rock belt in John’s favorite corner where water couldn’t get him, his tail stretched on the rocks in front of him.</p><p>“Yeah, it’s me!” he confirmed and continued walking down.</p><p>“I would help you but, you know!”</p><p>John laughed and finally reached the bottom.</p><p>“Yeah, you’re pretty useless!” he shouted back at the merman whose smile John was able to see even from afar. “Come on!” Arthur carefully slid to the water, tail first and swam on his back. Only when he got closer John noticed a journal on his chest. “Was you drawing?” he asked the merman while walking to the rope he left yesterday.</p><p>“All night,” Arthur admitted with a grin stretched on his whole face. He swam carefully, keeping his chest above the water all the time, only his tail was moving, pushing him through the shallow bay.</p><p>“Wow, you have the whole journal filled already?” When he left the other day, there was only a drawing of Old Boy in there and it was really good.</p><p>Arthur chuckled. “No, not yet.” The merman reached the part of the bay where he couldn’t swim anymore. He grabbed the journal and tossed it into the dry sand before crawling there himself and following John to the rope. “You really brought the chest.”</p><p>“Told you I would,” John answered with a smile and placed the chest on the sand, opening it and pulling out the key. “You need to lock it, otherwise it would be dangling open from the rope,” he explained, giving the merman the key. “You have somewhere to keep it?”</p><p>“In the water,” Arthur answered simply but for now, he just put the key on the sand, next to compendium and pencils.</p><p>“It won’t be lost?” John worried. “Water is vast.”</p><p>Arthur rolled his eyes. “And I’m good at moving through it,” he reminded John. “It’s a key, John, it won’t float away even with the tide and there are no waves to steal it.”</p><p>“Just don’t cry to me when you lose it.”</p><p>“You wish.”</p><p>They smiled and John packed the compendium and pencils to the chest before locking it with a key. “Let’s see if it works,” he suggested and quickly tied a rope around the handle on the top of the lid. Arthur already crawled away, the other end of the rope in his hand. When the knot was tied, John smiled at the merman. “Try to lift it.”</p><p>He hoped it would work. He became nervous when Arthur sat down next to a rock and started to tug the rope till it was stretched completely. Then he tugged some more and the chest was lifted slightly above the ground, then some more, and more. John watched it with pride, how it reached the knife sticking out of the rocks. Arthur tied the rope around the rock and joined John, who automatically crouched to not hover over the merman so much. It made looking up slightly awkward but he didn’t mind.  </p><p>“What do you think?” he asked Arthur.</p><p>“What can I think?” he asked back, smiling. “It works, it’ll keep my stuff safe. I like it.”</p><p>“Won't it be too much of a problem to lift it for you?” The chest wasn’t heavy but with things inside it could be.</p><p>“I don’t know if you noticed, but I use hands to move,” Arthur pointed out and John could already feel blush creeping on his face again. Why was he being so dumb today? First asking strange questions to Hosea, later the carpenter and now with Arthur. The merman flexed his arm muscles to prove a point, the tattoo on his skin moving with them, drawing John’s attention. His mouth went dry all of sudden. And then Arthur was talking again. “I’ll be fine, it’s not even heavy.”</p><p>John cleared his throat. “It could be,” he suggested not so subtly.</p><p>Arthur smirked and tilted his head at him. “Why? You planning on giving me more gifts?”</p><p>“I ah… Maybe?” Was that a good answer? The warmth he felt in his cheeks was telling him it wasn't.</p><p>“That’s sweet, John,” Arthur teased him and crawled away to put the chest back on the ground. John used that opportunity to calm himself. What the hell was wrong with him? When the merman returned, he looked happily at still crouching John. “Want to sit with me on the rocks?”</p><p>“Sure,” he agreed right away. “Let me just take my boots off.”</p><p>Arthur nodded and headed to the water. “Take my journal, will you?”</p><p>“Sure,” he repeated with a smile, quickly freeing his feet and rolling the legs of his pants.</p><p>John followed Arthur, hissing after the contact with the cold water. The merman was already waiting for him on the rocks, once again in John’s favorite spot. He climbed next to him and they squeezed on the wide rock, their arms and hips touching. John offered his clothes for Arthur to dry his hands before he gave him the journal.</p><p>“So, what have you been drawing?” he asked, pulling out his own journal and pencil.</p><p>Arthur looked at him and squinted his eyes in consternation. John wanted to ask what was wrong but then the merman reached his hand to him and next thing John knew, his hat was on Arthur’s head instead of his.</p><p>“It’s nice,” the merman said, touching the hat all over and adjusting it on his head. “I always wondered why you carry it.”</p><p>“To protect ourselves from the sun mostly,” John explained. He had to admit, the cowboy hat suited Arthur. “I guess you don’t need it.”</p><p>“When it’s too hot I just hide underwater.” John expected Arthur to give him the hat back but he did no such thing, he just left it on top of his head satisfied and opened his journal. “You asked what I drew. Mostly what lives in the ocean. Wanted to show it to you since I don’t have my own compendium.”</p><p>“Wow, they’re good,” John admitted when Arthur showed him his sketches of animals living under water. “That’s that thing with a stinger.”</p><p>“Yup,” the merman confirmed proudly, as if he was happy that John remembered. “This is orca. And this is jellyfish.”</p><p>“Never saw it, only heard about it. It looks strange.”</p><p>“It’s dangerous so I wouldn’t touch it.” Arthur skipped to another page, showing different fish. Some had different or funny shapes, like they shouldn’t even exist but Arthur assured him they were real. The merman skipped to the last page then. “I practiced some writing too.”</p><p>“Jesus, Arthur, you haven’t slept all night at all?” John asked, worried but also endeared by the thought of his gift keeping Arthur awake all night. Again.  </p><p>“Just took a nap in the morning,” he admitted embarrassed and put his journal on John’s lap. “Can you check if I wrote that correctly?”</p><p>“Yeah, no problem.”</p><p>Arthur wrote only short words, all animals’ names he saw in the compendium. John had no doubt he wasn't just rewriting them by looking at the words in the book because he was making mistakes, just like a child would do while learning for the first time, just like John did when he was younger and Hosea was losing his patience after John wrote ‘leave’ instead of ‘live’ for the hundred times. Not his fault the words were similar.</p><p>Whenever he saw some mistakes, he wrote the correction next to the word so Arthur could know what was the error, though he probably already knew because he was watching John work.</p><p>The whole page was filled with one word under another, the handwriting was a little messy but it was getting slightly better with each word. John smiled when he saw Arthur’s own name written down without any error and in a nicer handwriting, like he was trying really hard to make it look pretty.</p><p>Then there was the last word and he froze when he saw his own name written right next to the merman’s. At least he thought it was supposed to be his name because it was written wrong as ‘Jonh’ but Arthur clearly tried, using the same handwriting he used for his own name.</p><p>John was lost with words.</p><p>“Why did you write my name?”</p><p>Arthur blinked at him surprised. “I only wrote words I saw before and you showed me your name.” Oh, he forgot about that. That explained it but if so, why did he felt… disappointed? “I wanted to write your second name too but I didn’t remember what it was supposed to look like.”</p><p>“Marston,” John reminded him, looking at his name again. “And you almost got my name right.”</p><p>He quickly wrote both of his names under the one Arthur tried to write. The merman blushed when he realized his mistake.</p><p>“Damn, I knew it looked wrong,” he said, embarrassed, his blush growing. John couldn’t help but smile. “Sorry.”</p><p>“It doesn’t insult me,” John assured him, giving him back his journal. Arthur fixed his mistake right away, making sure the handwriting was once again nice. It was cute how much he cared about that. He even added the second name this time and his ‘M’ looked really good, better than John’s. “There you go, you wrote it perfectly,” John praised him when the merman was done and looked up at him, waiting for the verdict. It looked like a big weight was lifted from Arthur's shoulder.</p><p>“Thanks,” he mumbled shyly, looking down. John nudged him with his arm playfully, wanting him to cheer up a little. It worked, the merman glanced up and smiled back at John before the smile turned into a dangerous smirk and John was suddenly falling to the side. On instinct, he grabbed the journal in his lap to keep it dry, even though he knew it won’t save it.</p><p>Thankfully it wasn't necessary, Arthur grabbed him suddenly and tightly. John hissed when the claws pierced the skin on his shoulder and forearm but at least he wasn't in the water by now, just partially over the edge, held in place by Arthur. Damn, he really was strong.</p><p>Arthur laughed. “Sorry, I forgot you’re sitting by the edge,” he apologized and hurled John back up. “Didn’t mean for you to end in the water.”</p><p>“That’s why you shoved me so forcefully?” he asked, panting, still a little surprised by the sudden falling. He rubbed at his hurt arms, smearing the blood where the skin was pierced. Arthur didn’t answer, just smiled innocently. Well, at least shyness was gone. Not that it wasn't cute. “Bastard.”</p><p>It made Arthur grin like a maniac. “Want to draw with me?” the merman suggested, picking up his pencil.</p><p>“As you know, I'm not good at this,” John reminded him, opening his journal and grabbing the pencil hidden inside.</p><p>“You just need to practice more,” Arthur stated, giving John an assuring look. “Come on, let’s draw…” The merman looked around, humming. “Let’s draw the chest.”</p><p>John snorted. “The chest?” Arthur nodded. “Alright. The chest it is. Do we have all day for that or…” He waved in the air with his pencil.</p><p>“It won’t take you all day,” Arthur noticed, amused.</p><p>“You never know, I'm terrible.”</p><p>“That’s exactly why you will end it quick, quicker than me,” the merman explained, looking smugly. “You will just draw a few lines and be done.”</p><p>“Screw you,” John laughed and nudged the merman again. Arthur chuckled and grinning, looked down at his journal and started drawing, glancing every once in a while at the chest.</p><p>John decided to do the same. Maybe he could learn something about drawing from Arthur.</p><p>They worked in silence for the first few minutes. It was relaxing, just sitting next to another person and listening to the scratching of the pencil over the paper and the sound of the waves. He was really beginning to like the ocean and how calming it was. For now. He was sure he wouldn’t like the ocean during the storm but right now, the water was calm, the sun was shining and the light wind carrying the scent of the sea was brushing John’s hair softly. Perfect day and a perfect company to go with it.</p><p>This ocean he could even love one day.  </p><p>“Tell me about your gang,” Arthur asked suddenly. John was so focused on his drawing, trying to make it good and prove he wasn't just drawing a few lines, he realized the merman asked him something only after a few seconds.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Arthur rolled his eyes. “Your gang,” he said again. “Tell me about it.”</p><p>Talking in detail about the gang was forbidden to prevent wrong people from knowing more than they should. But Arthur was someone John trusted and even if he wasn't, what the merman could do with that information? He was stuck in the water, he couldn’t use that knowledge against them or tell anyone else.</p><p>“There is nothing much to tell, really.” John decided to start with that.</p><p>“Really, nothing interesting?” Arthur questioned him. “I have nothing to tell about my colony because everyone is ignoring everyone but you have to have something to say. I saw you humans interact, you like being in groups. Or you can’t tell me that?”</p><p>“Nah, I can, just I don’t think listening about people you will never meet can be that interesting.”</p><p>“I won’t know a lot of things that are on land, doesn’t mean it isn’t interesting,” Arthur informed him, looking expectantly at John. “Come on, tell me something, names, what those people look like, anything.”</p><p>“We was supposed to be drawing,” John reminded him. He really didn’t want to bore Arthur with stories about his gang.</p><p>“We can do two things at the same time.”</p><p>“Alright.” Arthur seemed really interested, who was John to deny him information? “So there are a lot of us in the gang, twenty two currently, including a little boy. There was more but we got into a little trouble before coming here.”</p><p>“That bank heist that went wrong and your father was disappointed in you?”</p><p>“No, even earlier.” John hated remembering that. “We were far east from here, near a town called Blackwater.” John smiled when he noticed Arthur frowning because of that name. He realized then that he wasn't drawing anymore, just watching the merman doing it. “One of us had some job in the town, me and the others was supposed to rob a ferry but it looked like it was a trap and we was attacked. I got shot.”</p><p>Arthur looked up worried from his work. “You okay?” he asked, looking not only worried but completely terrified.</p><p>“Yeah, it wasn’t big anyway,” he calmed the merman down. He could feel how the body next to him relaxed. “Anyway, we had to run so we headed north, to the mountains but we lost two of ours then, they were killed, Callander brother. Mac died during robbery, his brother Davey got shot and died in the mountains. And a nice girl Jenny got shot too, she didn’t survive either.”</p><p>He still missed those three, especially the Callander brothers. It was always fun to ride with them and they were great company in saloons. And Jenny simply didn’t deserve to die. She was so young and full of life.</p><p>“We stayed in the mountains for a while,” he continued. “Saved a widow from a rival gang that killed her husband and when the snow melted…”</p><p>“What's snow,” Arthur interrupted him.</p><p>“You never saw it?” The merman shook his head. “Well, it’s water, just frozen. It looks white and fluffy but it’s really cold. You can find it in the mountains or up north or down south, on the poles. And almost everywhere during winter.”</p><p>Arthur looked absolutely captivated by this new thing. His eyes were almost glistening like the snow hit by the ray of suns.</p><p>“I’ve never been far north. Or south,” he admitted. “Anyway, sorry for interrupting, continue.”</p><p>Arthur returned to drawing but he was clearly listening because he frowned when John didn’t pick up the story immediately.</p><p>“So we left the mountains after snow melted and we got back west. We were constantly on the move so the law wouldn’t find us and we finally ended not far from here, screwed the bank job and now we’re here.”</p><p>“Sounds like a lot has happened to you,” Arthur noticed, a concern in his voice.</p><p>“Yeah, it was a crazy few months,” John agreed. “But we’re fine now. I think we lost the law by running west. We considered running east for a moment but that’s not a place for us.”</p><p>“Us?”</p><p>“Outlaws,” John clarified. “From the east coast, you have closer to another continent, um, great mass of land,” he corrected himself when Arthur looked confused again. “Maybe you heard, it’s called Europe.”</p><p>“That rings a bell.”</p><p>“Europe is really old and rich so when they got here, to America, they started building everything on the east coast, slowly moving further. That’s why the east coast, with constant connection to Europe, is richer and more civilized than west. They have more law and they really don’t like outlaws. West is relatively safe for now.”   </p><p>“Well, I'm glad you run here and not to the east,” Arthur admitted, smiling at him.</p><p>John smiled back. “Me too.”</p><p>“So you have twenty two people in the gang, tell me about everyone.”</p><p>“You really want to hear?” John asked again, just to be sure.</p><p>“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t,” Arthur noticed with a teasing smile. “Go on, start with anyone.”</p><p>So he started with people dear to him the most. He told the merman about Dutch and how he saved him from being hanged. Arthur looked terrified again when he heard about that way of killing. He spoke about Hosea and how he taught him to write, read, draw and hunt. He talked about Charles and what a great friend he was so far despite knowing them not even a year.</p><p>“He’s a little quiet, doesn’t speak much but I like that in him,” John elaborated. “He’s really good at hunting and sitting next to you in peace.”</p><p>“I like quiet, I’m sure I would like him,” Arthur stated confidently.</p><p>John talked about Lenny and what a great kid he was, talented too, always first in the saddle as Dutch like to say.</p><p>“He’s a little too eager if you ask me,” John admitted with a chuckle. “But I can’t blame him, I was exactly the same when I was his age.”</p><p>“He seems nice.”</p><p>John was almost regretting starting with the people he liked the most, now when he would have to talk about those that irritated him… Then again, he only really hated Micah, even Uncle could be funny sometimes.</p><p>Next he talked about Sadie and how crazy she could be.</p><p>“She will literally jump at an enemy with her knife alone.” He was still amazed by her fighting skills. She was vicious like no one he has ever seen before. “You don’t want to be on her bad side.”</p><p>“Good thing I'm not planning to then,” Arthur joked lightly. He stopped drawing, he was probably done but didn’t say anything, not wanting to interrupt John’s tales.</p><p>So John continued, speaking more and more because he really loved people in his gang. He spoke about every girl, about always positive Mary-Beth, cheeky Karen, kind Tilly, romantic Molly, and Abigail, who was a caring mother to her son Jack, father unknown so far but it was probably one of the boys in the gang. John could definitely cross himself out, he never slept with her, they were always just friends, even though Abigail was clearly interested in him.</p><p>He talked about Sean and what a pain in the ass he could be, that he was the one that got hurt and now was even more annoying but John still liked him. He talked about Susan and how stern she could be, especially about bathing and that she was capable of throwing him into the lake to get him washed.</p><p>He talked about Uncle, Swanson, Strauss and how little they contributed to the gang but they were in it for so long nobody could imagine it without them. He talked about Pearson and his love towards the sea that got Arthur interested. John got curious then too. He wondered if Pearson ever saw or heard about real merfolks.</p><p>He spoke a little about Kieran and how no one had a heart to throw him away after they kidnapped him, hoping that he would tell them something about Colm O’Driscoll but that turned out to be false. He told Arthur about Kieran’s love for horses.</p><p>“Now that’s a friend I would like to have,” the merman chuckled.</p><p>John chuckled back despite the uncomfortable feeling in his gut.</p><p>At last, it came to talk about Javier, Bill and Micah. Arthur listened about what a great friend Javier was, how he came from Mexico and was good at playing guitar. He listened about Bill, his real name, how he loved his horse and how dumb he could be.</p><p>And then there was Micah. John couldn’t even pretend he liked him so he didn’t try to hide it and told Arthur everything that was bothering him about that man.</p><p>“He’s a good gunman and he’s doing his job but…” he paused, looking for the right word. “I don’t know, I don’t trust him completely. I bet if he would have to choose between saving my life and saving his, he would choose his.”</p><p>“Well, our feelings are usually right,” Arthur noticed.</p><p>“Or maybe I'm just being paranoid and unfair because I don’t like him.” John sighed, looking up at the sky, not knowing how to feel about Micah anymore. “Anyway, that’s all. That’s all the gang.”</p><p>“Wish I could meet them one day,” Arthur admitted. “They sound like really nice people.”</p><p>“They’re nice to other humans, don’t know about merpeople,” John noticed, chuckling nervously. “I would like you to meet them too, at least some of them but that could be dangerous and I don’t’…” He could already feel another blush creeping up his face, so he turned his face away, looking at the rocks in front of them. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”</p><p>Arthur was watching him, he could see it with the corner of his eyes but he couldn’t tell what was the expression on the merman’s face and he was too nervous to check. So he stubbornly looked ahead till he was sure Arthur looked away too. He was surprised when he felt a cold hand touching his wrist and then he saw the blue tail brushing against his legs. It felt different than in the water.</p><p>“Thanks, John,” Arthur said, quietly. His uncertainty made John look at him finally and despite the merman showing only his profile, John saw the gratitude on his face. “For not giving me away.”</p><p>John felt his throat clench because of the vulnerability in his voice.</p><p>“Had to say thank you for not eating me when I was drowning somehow,” he explained humorously, but his voice was so raspy it didn’t really sound like that. Still, Arthur let out a huff of amusement, recognizing the joke. “And it was a decent thing to do.”</p><p>“But clearly not that common if you think showing me to your friends would be dangerous,” Arthur noticed.</p><p>“True.” The fact that he simply didn’t want to share yet, he decided to keep to himself.</p><p>John realized Arthur was still holding his wrist only when the merman took it. But his tail remained where it was.</p><p>“Want to show me your drawing?” Arthur asked, changing the subject.</p><p>“Draw… I haven't finished yet,” he informed the merman.</p><p>“It’s been an hour.” Arthur pointed at the position of the sun. “You should’ve done it already.”</p><p>“I was telling you about my gang.”</p><p>“So?”</p><p>“So, I'm not that good at doing two things at the same time.” He was pretty sure he would at some point start writing instead of drawing. “Give me a minute.”</p><p>Arthur sighed irritated. “Fine.”</p><p>John couldn’t focus when the merman was just watching him, waiting for him to finish. It was making him nervous and that was causing his drawing to look terrible. Not that it wasn’t already.</p><p>“Can you stop?” he asked eventually, surprising Arthur. “Don’t you have better things to do?”</p><p>The merman snickered. “Fine, I won’t look,” he promised and then proceeded to continue just a few seconds later, thinking that John didn’t notice.</p><p>“Bastard,” he murmured under his breath.</p><p>“I ain’t watching!”</p><p>John only smiled.</p><p>It took him a few more minutes to finish. He worked hard on this drawing, even if it was just a stupid chest. Proudly, he turned the journal towards the merman. “I'm done.”</p><p>Arthur took the journal from his hand and examined it closer. John felt even worse than when Hosea was checking his progress. Much worse. It was like his stomach couldn’t settle. He really wanted Arthur to like it.</p><p>“You sure you drew it?” the merman asked and John released the breath he wasn’t even aware he was holding.</p><p>“I don’t know if I should be happy or offended,” he admitted, still a little nervous. Arthur didn’t stop looking at his drawing and he was smiling too for some reason. Maybe he was just joking.</p><p>“It’s really good, John,” he said again sincerely, making John blush.</p><p>“Thanks,” he replied shyly, a warm feeling settling in his chest.</p><p>The merman gave him back his journal and also handed his own. “Take a look at mine.”</p><p>John watched Arthur's excited expression before he looked down at the sketch.</p><p>It was beautiful.</p><p>It was just a wooden chest and it looked really great, every line seemingly perfectly drawn, with the right shading and even small details, like it wasn't a couple of feet away from them and Arthur was seeing everything perfectly. The rope looked good too, it was just a part of it hanging loosely above the chest, it didn’t fit whole on the page but it looked like an actual rope. Arthur only watched the chest up close once and he already could recreate it on the paper like that. John was honestly more and more impressed with Arthur's skills.</p><p>He took a look at his sketch again, his journal still open in his laps. Some of the lines were crooked and there was little too no shading. And the proportions were weird too, the knife was way too big, there was no key hole, just a black spot where the whole lock was supposed to be. And the rope was just a simple wavy line because he wouldn’t even be able to draw a realistic rope. How could he think it was a good drawing or be proud of it? Or believe Arthur's words? Arthur was just being nice.</p><p>“It’s much better than mine,” he noticed, ashamed of his dumb drawing. How pathetic he was if even a merman who had no paper until yesterday, was drawing better than him?</p><p>Arthur shrugged. “It’s okay.”</p><p>“Still better than mine.”</p><p>“This wasn't a competition, John.” John looked at him surprised. “We was just having fun, wasn’t we?”</p><p>“I guess. Didn’t mean I couldn’t do it better.”</p><p>“Maybe.” Arthur leaned more into him. It was just a slight change but John could feel the press of the other body against his more firmly now. The merman was smiling. “But you did great. No better or worse than me. Great.”  </p><p>John frowned, not knowing why would Arthur just lie to him to make him feel better. His drawing was better. There was no point in arguing about that.</p><p>“It was worse,” he insisted. Everyone would tell them that, even a child.</p><p>“And it makes it less great?” John opened his mouth but nothing came out. Arthur’s smile grew. “Does it take away its value and beauty?”</p><p>“There was no beauty in it to begin with,” John argued. He liked it just at the beginning, before he noticed what was really possible to be created from a dumb chest.</p><p>“I liked it,” Arthur pointed out cheerfully.</p><p>“It’s not like you’re an art critic.”</p><p>“Do I have to be to enjoy a drawing?” The smile on Arthur's face turned more challenging. “Are you calling me a liar, John Marston?”</p><p>John hummed and faced away, looking down at both sketches again. His was worse, he still thought that but… It looked better than the sketch of his jar with pearls, he put more details into it, he put the shading, even if terrible, he tried his best and he made progress.</p><p>Brushing his finger over his drawing, he felt proud of himself again.</p><p>“No, I ain’t,” he answered Arthur's question and turned to him. “It does look nice.”   </p><p>“That’s the spirit.” Arthur patted him on the leg. “Don’t look at other drawings as competition, John. Look at them as inspiration.”</p><p>John let out a little watery laugh, touched by Arthur's words. How a creature from under the surface could be this wise? “I’ll try,” he promised.</p><p>“Good,” the merman stated simply and then pushed at him with his arm while also giving John his hat back, pushing it over his eyes. “Now move, it’s getting uncomfortable and I need to wet my tail. It starts to itch.”</p><p>With a smile, John adjusted his hat and jumped off the rocks, allowing Arthur to move towards the deeper part of the bay. “Hey, Arthur,” he spoke before merman disappeared under the water.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>John gripped the journals in his hold tighter and hesitated, once again blush appearing on his face. Maybe he didn’t have to say it? Maybe Arthur understood?</p><p>No. He needed to say it. Show how much the merman’s words meant to him. “Thanks.”</p><p>Arthur smiled and then he was gone, leaving John with a racing heart and smiling like a fool for no reason.</p><p>He knew the merman wouldn’t be gone long so he just returned to the place where they were always making fire. John put the journals on the sand and went up on the cliff to gather some wood already in time for dinner. When he got back, Arthur was waiting for him on the sand, playing with his boots.</p><p>“What are you doing?” he asked, confused when he was close enough. He put the branches and leaves on the ground and sat down next to the merman who stole his hat again. John rolled his eyes but didn’t protest. Waiting for some answer, he took off his satchel and laid it on the ground next to himself.  </p><p>“What are these for?” Arthur touched the spur and it twirled clankingly. He looked like he was having good fun.</p><p>“To give the horse command,” John explained, leaning back on the sand and stretching his legs in front of him, next to Arthur's tail who was completely out of water but the scales were glistening with it. “We nudge them in the flanks with those.”</p><p>“Doesn’t it hurt them?” Arthur asked, concerned, still twirling the rowel.</p><p>“Not really, they’re not sharp or anything. I guess you could hurt a horse if you nudged it really hard but a skillful rider doesn’t even use them that much. We squeeze horses with thighs and calf to give them commands.”</p><p>Arthur nodded, clearly happy no horse was being harmed with those.</p><p>“You know, when you talked about your friends, you sounded really happy,” the merman pointed out.</p><p>“And what about it?” That was a weird thing to say.</p><p>Arthur shrugged, not looking at John, just at the spur. “Just thought it’s strange that you spend so much time with me instead of them.”</p><p>“You… want me to go?” he asked carefully. Arthur finally looked at him, surprised by his question but John continued anyway. “Or not to come as often?”</p><p>He hoped it wasn't it. He really liked coming here, meeting with Arthur.</p><p>Now the merman looked confused. “No,” he replied. John sighed with relief, hoping it wasn't obvious. “Just… Shouldn’t you be spending time with them as well?”</p><p>John still didn’t know where that question came from, why Arthur was so worried about his friends.</p><p>“I probably should, I don’t spend much time with them recently,” he admitted, seeing how Arthur's frame sagged.</p><p>“Then you should,” Arthur said. “Spend time with them. I mean, I’ll be okay alone for a few days,” he chuckled nervously, like he didn’t believe that himself.</p><p>“I’ll think about it.” No he wouldn’t. He already decided that he didn’t need his friends right now. He still liked them and would do anything for them, he just preferred to be elsewhere. “But I like coming here,” he added, seeing that despite what Arthur was saying, John’s previous words weren't what he wanted to hear.  </p><p>“And I like you here,” Arthur admitted.</p><p>Then why do you want me to spend time with my friends? John wanted to ask but just smiled at the merman to assure him he didn’t want to be anywhere else. He was having fun here. He would be having fun with friends too, he loved those people, but he already knew nothing could compare with this new relationship right now. And John was okay with it now. His friends would understand if they only knew.</p><p>John read Arthur some of the compendium since it had been a while since they last did it. They talked a lot too and before both of them realized, it was time for dinner. Arthur went to catch something for them and John made a fire. It was big and cracking nicely when Arthur returned, holding two fish and a crab.</p><p>“What the hell is this?” John asked, pointing at the still alive thing. It was waving it’s pincers helplessly. It was almost sad.</p><p>Arthur dropped dead fish on the sand and killed the crab with one stab of his long claws. “A crab.”</p><p>John counted to three. “Please tell me it’s you who are going to eat it,” he begged. He could already tell he would hate it.</p><p>“I wish, crabs are delicious.” Arthur looked at the crab sadly and then he grinned mischievously. “But you’re going to eat it.”</p><p>“Please no. I had a nightmare after eating a shrimp.” He shouldered remembering the disgusting taste.</p><p>“This is better than a shrimp,” Arthur promised him, crawling closer to the fire but leaving his tail in the water. John was sitting the same way, keeping his legs submerged. “And it’s only fair you eat mine food when I eat yours.”</p><p>“Treat it like a gift.”</p><p>“Then treat mine food like a gift too.”</p><p>“You shouldn’t give me presents.”</p><p>“I insist.”</p><p>“Please, keep it if you like it so much.”</p><p>“Can’t let you go home today without tasting this.” Arthur threw the crab at him. John didn’t catch it and jumped when it hit him. Warily, he picked it up, looking inside the shell. At least it didn’t look like a worm. “You’ll love it.”</p><p>“No I won’t.” It looked like the only food from the ocean he would ever like would be fish. He really didn’t want to eat it but Arthur had that hope in his eyes and John just couldn’t refuse him. It wouldn’t be fair. “But I’ll try.”</p><p>Arthur grinned happily. “Thank you.”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered, the corner of his lips raising against his will. “So how do I even open it?”</p><p>Arthur reached a hand towards him so John gave him the crab. His eyes grew bigger when the merman just put claws of both hands in the shell and ripped it apart with sheer strength of his muscles. His mouth felt dry again and his gut tingled.</p><p>“Here.” Arthur handed him two pieces like it was nothing. John took them dumbfounded, still staring at Arthur with amazement. The merman noticed and frowned. “What?”</p><p>John cursed his face for blushing again and ran away with his gaze. “Nothing,” he rasped. “Thanks.”</p><p>“Don’t forget the pincers.”</p><p>John picked one and raised it a little, watching it closely before dropping it.</p><p>“How do I even eat it?” He should start asking Pearson about that. He and his navy friends surely ate weirder things on ships, they had to eat crabs too.</p><p>“I can show you.” Arthur took back the half with the pincers and ripped it from the body he then placed on the ground. “You just suck it out then.”</p><p>“Suck it out?” John asked. The merman nodded. “Okay.”</p><p>“But you should probably cook it first. I don’t think you humans can eat all of this raw.”</p><p>“Probably not.” Just like Arthur, John put part of the crab on the ground. He had an idea. “I'm gonna get something to cook the crab in.”</p><p>“Can’t you just put it on the fire?”</p><p>“Pearson always cooked lobsters in the water, this looks a lot like lobster, so maybe you should cook it the same way.”</p><p>“This doesn’t look anything like lobsters,” Arthur noticed offended.</p><p>“It does to me.”</p><p>The merman huffed. “Can I eat one pincer?!” he shouted when John was already almost on the top.</p><p>“Be my guest!”</p><p>John came back after a minute with a waterskin containing fresh water and a bowl he used for cooking during travels. It was deep enough to put the crab inside. He quickly prepared everything, explaining it to Arthur because the merman was a little confused.</p><p>“Why can’t you use sea water?”</p><p>“Because it has too much salt in it,” John answered, waiting for the water to boil. The fish was being fried next to a bowl along with beans. “Speaking of salt, I have salted offal for you.”</p><p>He pulled a jar from the satchel and handed it to Arthur, who curiously looked inside. “It looks like a liver.”</p><p>“And a heart and kidneys,” John added with a smile.</p><p>“Is it human babies organs?”</p><p>“What? That would be horrible.” Arthur didn’t know what he said wrong. “We don’t eat each other, Arthur, remember?”</p><p>The merman shrugged. “Just asking.”</p><p>“It’s chicken offal.”</p><p>“Never had a chicken.”</p><p>“Well, you can taste his offal now. Enjoy.”</p><p>John watched with interest how Arthur unscrewed the jar and picked the first piece, which turned out to be a kidney. He popped it inside his mouth whole and chewed. “This is good.”</p><p>“Of course it is for you.” John wasn’t even surprised.</p><p>“What, you don’t like it?” Arthur asked with a full mouth. He just put two hearts into it.</p><p>“I’ll eat it when I'm desperate but not because I like it.” The water was boiling, he gently put both halves of the crab inside and the remaining pincer. “I would rather eat just chicken meat than that.”</p><p>“It’s delicious.”</p><p>John smiled at the merman’s enjoyment.</p><p>“You can eat the whole thing.”</p><p>“I wasn't going to share anyway.”</p><p>John let out a snort. “Thank god, at least here you showed some mercy instead of forcing me to eat disgusting things.”</p><p>Arthur scowled at him, which looked ridiculous when he was in the middle of chewing. Like a chubby baby, only with a beard and murderous look in his eyes. John cracked up another laugh.</p><p>He had no idea how long he was supposed to cook a crab so he left it in the water for around ten minutes. The fish and beans were ready earlier and he and Arthur were already eating together when John decided to pour out the water, leaving only the crab in the bowl. He finished his fish while waiting for the crab to cool down.</p><p>“Think it’s cooked?” the merman asked, eating the beans straight from the can by using his hands. He watched John poke the white meat with his fingers.</p><p>“Seems soft.” He hissed a little when he touched too much and got burned. It was still hot. Blowing on it a little helped and he ripped a piece of meat from the shell. It separated easily so it was a good sign. And it didn’t look disgusting like a shrimp so he was more willing to try it. John put the meat in his mouth and while it didn’t have much taste, it wasn't bad either. Maybe a cook would make it better but it had a potential. He picked more and ate it.</p><p>Arthur was watching him the whole time, waiting for his reaction, hoping for a good one, the can of beans forgotten for now. It was almost cute how much he wanted John to like his favorite food. John bit himself on the inside of the cheek to stop himself from smiling.</p><p>“It’s terrible,” he lied with a blank face.</p><p>The merman looked shocked at first then just angry. He huffed and without any warning, his tail raised in the water, throwing it at surprised John.</p><p>“That’s for insulting my food,” he explained, very pleased with himself.</p><p>John was dripping, the splash was big, it even almost put out the fire. And the crab was wet as well.</p><p>Swiping the water from his face, John scowled at the smirking Arthur. “Now you ruined it even more.”</p><p>Seeking revenge, John kicked the water with his foot, aiming at the merman. He hit perfectly, but apart from making his hair wet, Arthur didn’t even blink like a human would.</p><p>“I live in the water, you think you can hurt me with it?”</p><p>Sighing as in defeat, John took off his hat and gently put back the crab to the bowl before lunging himself at Arthur. He grinned at his surprised face and then their bodies collided and they both fell into the shallow water, kicking and thrashing, both of them trying to come on top.</p><p>“What the hell, John?!” Arthur yelled. John was pressing him to the ground, or tried to. If it was human under him, John would never do what he did next. He grabbed merman’s face and pushed it under water. The gills opened up when the water surrounded them.</p><p>“Maybe water can’t hurt you but it sure can shut you up!” John noticed, laughing triumphantly. “You give up?”</p><p>In response, he heard booming whistles, coming from Arthur's chest. Was that something like a growl? He couldn’t ask because Arthur’s tail started moving and twistin with all its strength. John didn’t even have to sit on it to fall from Arthur because of it. Twists of the tail made the whole merman’s body move with it.</p><p>John fell into the water and next thing he knew, Arthur was on him, grinning like a maniac.</p><p>“Does that answer your question?” he asked and splashed water on John's face.</p><p>“Hey!” John protested with closed eyes. He could feel the droplets of water on all his face. “That’s not fair!”</p><p>That bastard only laughed and John laughed back. He tried to get free but it was harder than he thought when Arthur was pressing him to the ground with hands. Still, John wasn’t going to give up and finally decided to throw his leg over Arthur's hip. Almost climbing onto him, he managed to throw the merman off balance and swapped their position. Arthur shouted surprised and pressed his hands against John's arms and chest to keep him at the distance.</p><p>John had no idea what he tried to accomplish after he was on top, he just hovered over panting Arthur, proud that he surprised him again, when he felt something slick curling against his leg. Before he could move it away, Arthur's tail tightened around his calf and pulled him down. John’s hands gave up under him and he fell face first into merman’s chest. He didn’t lay there long because Arthur pushed him off himself.</p><p>John landed on his back, Arthur moved hurriedly next to him, twisting his body like a fish tossed out of the water. When John tried to get up to pin the merman again a heavy tail landed onto his chest, pressing him to the ground and almost crashing his ribs. He gasped and pushed at the tail with one of his hands, the other was trapped under it, but whenever he tried to move, the tail was pressing him harder to the ground.</p><p>He sagged in defeat.</p><p>“I give up, you won,” he said to Arthur and turned his head to him. The merman was propped on his elbows, a stupid, proud grin at his face, his tail laying across John’s chest like a giant snake. It wasn’t even the whole tail, just the widest part little below merman’s hips, the rest of it was stretched next to John’s body, the end curled around his feet, tail fin waving lazily above the water.</p><p>“And I thought you wouldn’t admit that.”</p><p>John huffed and relaxed since it looked like he wasn't going anywhere. His heart was starting to slow down, same with his breathing. The tail on him was cold but the water they were laying in has warmed up already since morning so he didn’t mind and just looked at the sky.  </p><p>“Hey, Arthur?”</p><p>“Hmm?” the merman hummed in response.</p><p>“Will you let me go if I tell you the crab was tasty?”</p><p>As nice as lying here was, he still had a crab to finish.</p><p>“Will it be a lie?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>He really liked the crab, as tasteless as it was. He would ask Pearson how to prepare one properly.</p><p>Arthur smiled, pleased. “Hmm… No.”</p><p>John sighed. “Bastard,” he growled and started wiggling. The tail was slick, it couldn’t be hard to get up from under it. With a lot of pushing and determination, and while ignoring Arthur's chuckles, John managed to crawl from under the tail, pushing it to the side. Turning onto his fours, he panted with exhaustion. Damn, that tail was heavy and he was sure Arthur was pressing him to the ground sometimes too.</p><p>Still a little tired after the fight and getting free, John kneeled in the water and breathing hard looked up, with the corner of his eyes noticing the tail moving away slowly. Suspicious, he followed its moves and looked at Arthur, just in time to see him using his tail and arms to pounce.</p><p>”Jesus Christ!” John screamed and then they crashed into the water again. “Come on, I have a crab to finish!”</p><p>“It’s better to eat it cold anyway!”</p><p>They wrestled in the water like two children, trying to push one from another and come on top. John’s stomach started to hurt from all the laughing, and from one or two times Arthur tried to shove him off himself using his elbow.</p><p>John stayed away from Arthur's tail, knowing it would mean only his loss. But even without it the merman was strong enough to be a challenge. When he jumped at John’s back, John collapsed immediately under his weight and panicked when his face landed underwater. Thankfully the merman pulled him out right away, surely not expecting John to jump at him the moment he wasn't drowning.</p><p>They continued it till they were both exhausted and Arthur wasn't the only one who had to crawl to the dry sand. John laid down on it, panting and still grinning, a small laugh escaping him at some point. It’s been a long time since he had a fight like that, just for fun.   </p><p>He glanced at Arthur who was in a similar state. It was the first time he saw the merman tired. Swimming was so easy for him but fighting? Not so much. And he knew how to fight, using his tail like a weapon. He even swept John from his feet with it once. Thankfully John was just crouching so the way down wasn't long or painful in the end.</p><p>Arthur looked back at him and sent John this big, joyful smile that he couldn’t help but return.</p><p>“Hope you’re happy, now I'm all wet,” John told him. And with sand everywhere. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to lay down on it.</p><p>“You’ll dry,” Arthur assured him. Even if he wasn’t looking at his face right now, John would be able to hear the smile in it. “The sun won’t set for another few hours.”</p><p>John looked at its position. Arthur was right, it was still early and even during night it was warm enough to dry quickly.</p><p>“I wasn't going to get back yet anyway,” he said, grinning widely at the merman.</p><p>It was already dark when John returned to the camp. There was still a lot of sand on him, especially in his boots but he didn’t mind. Smiling, he began taking the saddle from Old Boy when he heard someone clearing his throat behind him. He turned and saw Hosea and Dutch.</p><p>“Uh… Something’s wrong?” he asked confused. They looked angry and he didn’t even do anything bad.</p><p>“You tell me,” Dutch responded.</p><p>John watched them both, waiting for one of them to say something more but it looked like they wanted him to figure it out himself. How could he? They didn’t give him any clue, they just stared at him like he let them down. He felt like before he and Dutch fixed their relationship after the bank heist, only now Hosea was disappointed with him too for some reason.</p><p>What could he possibly…</p><p>Dark. It was dark.</p><p>The day almost ended.</p><p>John’s eyes grew bigger with realization. The fucking robbery!</p><p>“Shit, Hosea, I'm sorry,” he started apologizing. At least Hosea seemed pleased he realized what was wrong. They really were starting to look like they were losing patience. “I'm so sorry, I lost the track of time and…”</p><p>“Lost the track of time,” Hosea interrupted him. “Means being late by an hour. Maybe two. Meanwhile the whole day has passed.”</p><p>John opened his mouth to excuse himself but Dutch was quicker.</p><p>“What’s going on with you, boy?” the leader asked. “You leave the camp every day and I allowed that yesterday because I was sure you would still do your job the next day. You promised Hosea to be back at noon but you never showed up.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I just…”</p><p>“I don’t want to listen to it, John.” John winced at Hosea’s harsh tone. The older man was rarely using it but whenever that happened, it hurt. It hurt because that always meant he disappointed his father. And this time it wasn't just his fear, it was real and now Dutch was disappointed too. “I don’t care for your excuse, what you was doing and with whom, I only care about you doing your job, because the life of your friends depends on you doing it right. Am I clear?”</p><p>“Hosea, I…”</p><p>“Am I clear?”</p><p>John shut his mouth before he could come up with any excuse. He stared at the ground.</p><p>“Yes,” he said, aware that this little talk gained others attention. “Yes, Hosea, I heard you clearly.”</p><p>“Good,” Hosea nodded satisfied. “And spare us the excuses, because you sure as hell wasn't hunting recently.”</p><p>“Or scouting,” Dutch added. Then why did Dutch praise him for that yesterday? Was it just to spare him the embarrassment in front of the others? Well, too late for that now, he was humiliated in front of everyone and he could only blame himself for forgetting about his promise like an idiot. “We expect you to act like a leader tomorrow, son. You’re in this gang the longest and it’s the first time I see you this distracted.”</p><p>“I'm fine.”</p><p>“Well I sure hope so, because I would hate to lose my best gunman in a badly prepared heist.”</p><p>“Like the badly prepared bank and ferry heists?” he snapped back, realizing right away what he said. He wouldn’t blame Dutch for punching him right now.</p><p>Dutch’s eyes narrowed dangerously and he took a step towards John. He was taller, not by much, but tall enough for John to feel intimidated. But he stood his ground. If Dutch could make mistakes, so could he. He didn’t even make one yet, the robbery could still be a success.</p><p>“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that,” Dutch told him, still looking John into the eyes, wanting for him to break under the pressure of his gaze. John only turned away for it to be over. “Do your job, John, or leave it to someone competent” Dutch said one last thing and he went to his tent. Hosea stayed behind and shook his head at John when they looked at each other.</p><p>Angry at everyone but mostly at himself, he stormed off towards Pearson’s wagon and quickly grabbed himself something to eat. Unfortunately, he wasn’t alone there.</p><p>“You okay, John?” Abigail asked while he was washing the bowl after herself and Jack who stood next to her, confused by all of this.</p><p>Everyone else was looking at him, he could feel their judging eyes and pity in them. He hated pity.</p><p>“Leave me alone, Abby,” he told her harshly and hid in his tent. She was just worried, all of his friends were, they all proved that much, but if he let them ask him questions, he would only have to lie about Arthur and he really didn’t want that. He preferred them not to ask at all than coming with excuses to keep Arthur safe.</p><p>He could hear other gang members talking while he ate, the food tasting like paper. He wasn't even that hungry anymore but he finished it because he didn’t want to leave the food in the open for ants to storm his tent, and he wasn't going to leave it somewhere outside, that would mean showing himself to others. The only upside was he heard no mocking, even Micah decided to shut up or someone did it for him before he could start anything.</p><p>When the bowl was empty, he laid down on his cot, with his journal open and writing what was eating him.</p><p>
  <em> No matter how much it angered me, Dutch is right, I am distracted. Arthur is distracting me because he’s a fun and great person. We drew together today and he encouraged me to keep practicing. It was really nice of him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And then he fed me the crab which was strange but good at the same time. And we wrestled like two idiots in the water and I HATE water, I’ve never had as much fun as I have with him. I don’t know why he affects me so much, not so long ago I was terrified of him and now he’s becoming my best friend. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Maybe I'm just losing it. Maybe I'm going crazy. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I wish I could tell everyone about him, to not lie to anyone, so Dutch and others could understand that I'm okay, I just met a friend and they don’t have to be worried. But I can’t and I'm bound to be distracted still because I can’t stop visiting Arthur. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I don’t want to stop visiting him. </em>
</p><p>He tried to draw Arthur on the other page. That dumb grin of his. It probably looked horrible.</p><p>
  <em> It looks great, John. </em>
</p><p>John didn’t care how the drawing looked, he still smiled back at it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Poor John, Hosea and Dutch waited for him like for a kid getting back home past his curfew. And finding out the school told the dads about him ditching the class that day.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Friend</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Walking around the camp next day was a pure torture. No matter where he went, other gang members were either looking at him laughing or pitying him. And he hated both. He supposed he deserved being mocked. Dutch’s golden boy forgot about the robbery, even to him it sounded ridiculous.</p><p>The pitiful looks he couldn’t handle as good. It only reminded him how he messed up big times. He knew that already, he didn’t need any reminder from his friends. John was just angry at himself for forgetting so easily, especially this early after Dutch was giving him a silent treatment.</p><p>This whole robbery was supposed to be a peace offering, a way to impress the leader again, to prove him that the mistake during the bank heist was just that – a mistake. While it wasn't needed anymore, John was still determined to show he was good at his job when he wasn’t tired. Now he felt like a fool because his flawless plan almost made Dutch angry again,</p><p>Both he and Hosea were watching John just like the others. None of them looked angry but they were clearly disappointed, maybe even a little worried and that hurt more than an actual anger. They watched John like they expected him to run to his mysterious place again. Not this time. Maybe later. While he prepared Old Boy, it wasn’t for his trip to the bay. He was going to take the boys like he promised and explain his plan to them. He would go to Arthur later that day.</p><p>The merman would probably be confused why he was so late to their usual meeting but hopefully he wouldn’t be worried.</p><p>John waited for the others to eat breakfast before the ride. He himself ate nothing, he wasn’t hungry, he still felt humiliated by yesterday’s public scolding so after informing everyone they’ll be going after breakfast, he just sat down in his tent and drank the morning coffee, grimacing at the more bitter taste than usual.</p><p>By 8, everyone was ready to go. John packed the map he purchased a few days ago and put it in the satchel to know where he was going since he didn’t know the area very well yet.. After putting his gun belt as well, John approached people he chose for the job. They were waiting for him by the horses.  </p><p>“Everyone ready?” he asked, trying not to show he was still affected by what happened yesterday.</p><p>It was just a simple slip up, nothing more. He was still good at his job, he was capable of leading this robbery.</p><p>“Yeah, we can go,” Javier replied with a smile. He, Lenny and Tilly walked to their horses to mount up. Micah stayed in place, leaning against the hitch post and watching John with a smirk.</p><p>“Are sure you don’t want to go somewhere else, Marston?” he teased and spat the tobacco he was chewing.</p><p>“I’m good, move your ass,” John ordered him, already clenching his palms in fists. He wasn’t in the mood for arguments.</p><p>Micah didn’t stop smirking, if anything, he looked even more amused. “Strange. You were so quick to leave every morning.”</p><p>“Just let’s go, Micah,” Lenny hurried the other man. He was already sitting in Maggie’s saddle. Everyone was waiting just for the two of them.</p><p>“Don’t rush me, kid,” Micah growled at Lenny, who just rolled his eyes at him, mockingly mouthing the word ‘kid’. Javier and Tilly noticed and snickered. John didn’t laugh, because Micah still wasn't on his horse and instead just walked closer to a very tense John. “I’m just surprised Marston is still in the camp instead of god knows where. Being scolded by mommy and daddy put some sense into your head, boy?”</p><p>From time to time, there were moments when John wanted to punch Micah. It was one of those days. But punching him would only put John in trouble, so instead of aiming his fist at that smirking mug, John just took a deep breath and controlled himself. Giving up would just give Micah what he wanted – rile him up.</p><p>“You’re done?” he asked calmly. Micah didn’t expect such an answer and blinked surprised at him.  </p><p>“Come one, let’s just go, you’re wasting our time, you culo,” Javier interrupted Micah before he could say anything else. He wanted to, he opened his mouth to do so but Javier was quicker.</p><p>Micah then turned to him with a grim on his face. “What did you call me?”</p><p>“Enough, Micah!” a sudden shout stopped the man before he could start arguing with Javier next. Everyone turned to face Hosea who marched towards them or rather towards Micah, standing very close to the man. Micah didn’t flinch when it happened but at least he shut up. “Get your ass on the horse,” Hosea ordered him, dangerously speaking the words. “You cried for days that John ain’t telling you his plan so stop whining and go when he tries to do that.”</p><p>Now John had a reason to smirk. He watched as Micah’s resistance slipped and he slowly took a step back from the older man.</p><p>“Yes, Hosea,” he said, and obediently climbed his horse. Micah was pissed but that wasn't John’s problem. He nodded at Hosea to thank him for intervention and led Old Boy out of the camp, hearing others riding behind him.</p><p>He should’ve expected that Micah wasn't done. “So where are you going every day anyway?” the other man asked once they were outside of the camp. Micah deliberately made his horse go faster so he could ride next to Old Boy instead of at the very end of the group.</p><p>“None of your business,” John answered. He wasn't going to explain himself to Micah of all people. If he would have to tell the truth to anyone, it would be Hosea, not him.</p><p>“It is my business if you’re putting the gang at risk,” Micha snapped back, probably looking for a way to let off some steam since he couldn’t do so with Hosea. “What’s so secretive about them rides of yours?”</p><p>“None of your business,” John repeated, gripping the reins tightly. He could feel the looks Javier, Lenny and Tilly were giving them.</p><p>“And I already told you…”</p><p>“Yeah, I don’t care,” he interrupted the older man. He won’t be treated like a newcomer by a newcomer himself! Micah has no right to lecture him. “I’m not putting the gang in any risk, you need to trust me on this one.”</p><p>“And why would I do that?” John gritted his teeth. Who the hell this man thought he was? “How do I know you’re not plotting against us?”</p><p>John turned sharply towards him. “Are you saying I’m a traitor, Micah?” he growled angry.</p><p>Micah raised his hands in surrender but he was grinning. “Just showing some concern about you disappearing.”</p><p>Damn it, he let himself be played. Micah just wanted to make him angry still and he succeeded.</p><p>John looked back at the road again, speaking more calmly when he opened his mouth again. “The gang is safe, I’m bringing my share. You can trust me or you don’t, I don’t give a damn. Dutch trust me and that’s enough.”</p><p>It was okay if Micah thought of him as a traitor. Who the hell was even Micah? Some lunatic from god knows where who joined seven or eight months ago. John couldn’t care less about his opinion.</p><p>“We trust you too,” Tilly suddenly chimed in and smiled brightly at John and then looked at the others. “Right, boys?”</p><p>“With my life.” Javier responded without hesitation.</p><p>“Always,” Lenny admitted as well.</p><p>Micah huffed after he noticed he was outnumbered in his worries. “Just don’t get into any trouble, kid,” he warned John.</p><p>“Worry about yourself, not me, Micah,” he replied. “Hyah!” he nudged Old Boy with spurs and rode ahead. His friends respected his need to be alone and stayed slightly behind, even Micah.</p><p>True to be told, he didn’t want to be alone, he just wanted to be with someone else.</p><p>They passed the town and rode right towards the fort and the place of an ambush. John was riding with the map in front of him, waiting for them to pass the side road that they would use as a route to escape. He was a little worried about the forest being too dense now that he was looking at it more closely but if everything would go the way he wanted, stagecoach’s guards would be too dead to chase them and the sheriff and the army, if they even hear the shootout, would first check the main road.</p><p>The side road wasn't very visible at first glance, bushes around it grew so much they were covering it but it was still possible to ride through it. John stopped his horse near it, wondering if they should cut some bushes to make their escape easier or leave it to not alarm the chase where they went.</p><p>He decided to leave it.</p><p>“This is where we attack,” he said to others when they caught up to him. They started looking around, no doubt already looking for a place to hide during the ambush. “Once stagecoach passes this path,” he pointed at the road. “We do the job. We shoot the guards, everyone will be armed, so one shot, one kill.”</p><p>“You’re talking to professionals,” Micah reminded him, twirling his precious revolver on his finger. “Relax, Marston, they won’t even know what will hit them.”</p><p>“I’ll relax once we will be safe.” John dismounted and walked a little bit north. The road in this place was a little more narrow, it would only fit the stagecoach. “They will have to change formation here,” he informed the others who were already on their feet to come to him. John looked at Tilly. “Ms. Jackson, you’ll stop them here. Hope you’re not against dirtying up a little for the role?”</p><p>“I’ll choose some old dress for this,” he said with a smile. “When I stop them, what do I do?”</p><p>“Distract them as long as you can, when we start shooting, you hide and protect yourself with the gun.”</p><p>“Got it.”</p><p>“When are we going to shoot exactly?” Javier asked, kicking some pebble from under his foot.</p><p>“At my sign.”</p><p>Micah asked the next question. “And what will the sign be?”</p><p>John smiled. “When you hear me shoot, shoot as well. Don’t stop till every guard is dead.”</p><p>Micah chuckled and an excited glint appeared in his eyes. “You don’t have to worry about that.”</p><p>“After we shoot all the guard, Lenny will get the money.”</p><p>“Sure,” the kid agreed happily.</p><p>“It’s a quick action, me and the boys will watch you back, Tilly, I want you on the horse by that point. Don’t want you to get hurt. Javier will keep an eye on you.” Javier and Tilly nodded. Micah snorted. “You have something to say, Bell?”</p><p>“It’s just funny you’re pampering that girl,” he explained, amused. “You chose her for such a dangerous job while she can’t even defend herself?”</p><p>“I can defend myself just fine, Micah,” she said to the man.</p><p>“She’s a lady,” John reminded him. “Women and children are to be protected.”</p><p>“Then why the hell did you even take her?”</p><p>“For a distraction. You can play that part yourself, just put some makeup and a dress on and you’ll convince everyone you’re a pretty gal.”</p><p>Micah snarled at him but didn’t say anything.</p><p>“Anyone else have some questions?” John asked, looking specifically at Micah who was stubbornly avoiding his gaze like a little kid. “Good. Once we have money, we escape through this path. We spread out and stay away from the camp for a few hours in case we would be chased but I hope it won’t come to that.”</p><p>“It won’t,” Lenny pointed out, very confident in his words. “This plan is too perfect.”</p><p>“There is no such a thing like a perfect plan,” John warned him. It looked good on paper but he robbed too many coaches to not be worried about something going wrong. “That said, if for some reason we won’t be able to fight off the guards or the reinforce will arrive, we run. Fuck the money, we need to get back in one piece. Same if any of us will get shot, that means immediate retreat.”</p><p>“Are we cowards now?”</p><p>Micah again.</p><p>“You want to die, go ahead, but I'm responsible for all of you and I want all of you back alive.”</p><p>“That’s sweet you care, Marston,” Micah mocked. “But we can’t leave all the money just because one of us got hurt.”</p><p>“Micah is right,” Javier agreed. Micah looked at him surprised and spread his arms in disbelief.</p><p>“Thank you, Javier, finally someone on my side.”</p><p>Javier snorted. “If one of us gets hurt and we still don’t have the money, we’ll just have to hold a little longer and get to the hurt person,” he continued. Micah nodded with approval. “I’ll take care of anyone who gets hurt, how about that, John?”</p><p>“What if you get hurt?” Tilly asked, not really liking the new plan. John wasn't fond of it either but it could work. Hopefully Javier wouldn’t even have to help.</p><p>Javier smiled. “Then I hope you’ll take care of me as I would.”</p><p>“You don’t worry about that, Marston and I will keep you safe,” Micah promised. Somehow in Micah’s mouth those words didn’t sound reassuring and Javier must have felt that too because he didn’t look convinced. “So what do you say, Golden Boy? We ain’t ruining with our tails tucked between our legs?”</p><p>Everyone waited for his decision. He really didn’t want to risk it but coming back without money seemed like a failure. He knew it wasn't, Dutch would understand and even wanted them to get back safely instead of risking their life. But that was their job, risking their lives on a daily basis. What’s one more risk could do?</p><p>“Fine, we get the money even under the attack. We protect Lenny till he can get the money.” Micah, Javier and Lenny looked very pleased, only Tilly was still worried. John sent her a reassuring smile, even though he was nervous himself. “Javier will drag away anyone hurt and bring them to safety. If he’ll be hurt, I’ll do it.”</p><p>That’s the least he could do after agreeing to the bigger risk. He wanted his group to get back safely and he was going to make sure they would.  </p><p>“The escape plan doesn’t change?” Lenny asked.</p><p>“No, we get the money, we run through the forest.” That was the only sure part of his plan so far. The woods would give them enough cover to escape. “Remember it’s only the second plan, first and foremost, we kill the guards and get the money without waiting for a counterattack.”</p><p>Micah sighed. “Of course, Marston, we understand.”</p><p>“Just making sure you understand we’re not here for fun,” John explained. “Two minutes at most, that’s how long it should take us. We kill, steal them money and we’re gone before anyone could come here to stop us. No waiting for more fun.”</p><p>He was speaking directly at Micah, knowing he was the one capable of doing something like that.</p><p>When everyone nodded – Micah not without rolling his eyes first – John continued. “Alright, the stagecoach will be going through town at noon, we need to be here by then, all in position. Remember to wait for me to get the first shot, I’ll kill the driver and then we kill rest.”</p><p>“Yes, boss,” Lenny replied with a chuckle. “This is going to be fun.”</p><p>John smiled at him, hoping he was right and the plan would go flawlessly. They needed money and he wanted to get the stain of previous failure from himself and this was a perfect opportunity to do so.</p><p>He was confident they could do it, as a leader he had to be, but as a human, he was nervous that something might go wrong. He saw that happening too many times in the past, something always could go wrong. The robbery could be fun like Lenny said, but it can quickly turn into tragedy and grief. Hopefully not this time, he thought, looking at his group. He didn’t want to lose any of them, even Micah. That would only show that he was a terrible leader who couldn’t keep his people safe.</p><p>“If all is clear, then I'm leaving,” he informed his friends, getting back to his horse. “I have somewhere to be and you can get back to camp on your own.”</p><p>“Going somewhere again?” Micah mocked him, as if he was waiting for the subject to be brought up. “Why don’t you tell us where you are going?”</p><p>“Because it’s none of your business.” He said it to Micah but he saw how Lenny and Tilly got hurt by the lack of trust he had in them. It hurt him too he couldn’t talk to them but Arthur's existence couldn’t be known. Not yet. He wouldn’t even know how to tell them first without looking like he should be locked away somewhere, and showing Arthur to the gang was too risky. Too many trigger happy people with guns by their hips.  </p><p>“We just worry,” Tilly explained and she really did sound worried. John sighed and looked at her sadly.</p><p>“I'm okay, I swear,” he promised her. “I just…” He tried to come up with something that would calm her down but at the same time wouldn’t spark her interest, but his mind was blank and his friends watched him intensely, waiting for an explanation.</p><p>Something appeared in Tilly’s eyes suddenly and John recognized it as understanding. For a moment, she was surprised, her mouth open slightly in shock and eyes wide. Then she smiled knowingly, biting her lower lip to not to giggle.</p><p>“Oh, I see,” she said.</p><p>“What?” Javier asked.</p><p>“Speak up, woman!” Micah hurried her but Tilly just waved her hand dismissively.</p><p>“It’s okay, John, you can go,” she assured him, still being amused by something.</p><p>“Um, okay,” he replied, confused by her behavior. At least he wasn't the only one, Javier, Lenny and Micah were puzzled as well. Micah was even angry she wasn't sharing with them whatever she discovered just by looking at John. “Thanks?”</p><p>“You’re welcome,” she replied.</p><p>John watched her while riding away. He wasn't even outside of range of their voices when the boys jumped at her.</p><p>“Where the hell is he going?”</p><p>“You know?”</p><p>“He told you?”</p><p>No, he didn’t tell her.</p><p>“I’ll tell you later.”</p><p>Tell them what? John became a little nervous. She couldn’t know about Arthur. She wouldn’t be so calm about finding out about him. Whatever she was going to say, she assumed she found out John's reason for leaving but John didn’t have to worry because it wasn't true.  </p><p>Just to be careful, John made sure he wasn't followed. He should start doing it all the time now that everyone was interested in where he was going every day.</p><p>Old Boy ran fast as a bullet to get John to the bay as quick as possible. He didn’t want to worry Arthur any longer. He really should’ve spoken about his plan yesterday, when Arthur would’ve had a chance to know where John went. All of it didn't even take that long so he would’ve still had time to return to the bay later.</p><p>But no matter how much John disappointed his father and made others pity him, he wasn't regretting staying with Arthur all day. He had fun, especially wrestling the merman. The memory of that play fight was making his stomach flutter. It wasn't unpleasant so he didn’t mind, he just smiled happily and led his horse towards the woods.</p><p>John was in such a hurry to get to the bay he almost forgot to take the saddle of Old Boy.</p><p>“Sorry, pal,” he said to the horse that snorted in response. “Yeah, I know, I'm a dumbass.”</p><p>Who knew finding a new friend would do that to you.</p><p>When John was still hidden behind the low branches and couldn’t see the bay yet, he heard a big splash and not long after, another one. Curious, he crossed the wall of leaves and found out the reason for all the noises. Arthur was playing in the water. John had to stop to not be seen because then the merman would most likely get startled and end the show. And there was a lot to watch.</p><p>Arthur was diving into the deeper water of the lagoon and then jumping out in the air, falling down on his side or back before disappearing under the surface again and repeating the process. With every jump, the water was being casted in the air with the merman and then falling with him, creating another splash.</p><p>Both water and Arthur's tail sparkled in the sunlight, John could swear he saw a glimpse of a rainbow once after merman’s body sank into the bay, casting the water into the air in a big fountain. Arthur was gone only for a few seconds and then jumped out again, his side fins spread like wings and tail fin still in the water. He turned his body in the air and landed on his side, disappearing under the surface again.</p><p>When the tail fin went underwater, following the rest of the body like a snake, John waited for another jump that he knew was coming. He wasn't disappointed, even if he had to wait a little longer than earlier.</p><p>Arthur ejected all of his body out of the water and curled it in mid air to fall head first into it. John gasped at how high the merman managed to jump. He was heavy, he felt it first hand while fighting with Arthur and here he was, jumping out of the water without any effort.</p><p>The splash was minimal this way but still impressive. John stepped lower, eyes focused on the water to see if Arthur would jump again. It was amazing, he looked so elegant while in the air and his tail? Simply beautiful, glistening in the light and with fins spread, it looked like the prettiest thing John has ever set his eyes on.</p><p>Arthur did jump again. Not as high, just part of his fish body out of the water. He landed on his back and dived right away. John watched captivated how the tail slowly sank after him, moving smoothly underwater. The tail fin hit the surface playfully before vanishing in the dark depths.</p><p>John still wasn't noticed, even when he walked to the rock belt, not caring that he was wetting his boots, he didn’t have time to take them off. He didn’t want to miss any jump. And the next one was so close that when Arthur landed, the splash reached John.</p><p>“Aw, hell!” he screamed, spurting the salty water out because he might have had his mouth open in awe when he saw from up close how gorgeous Arthur looked like this, how his muscles moved to twirl his body in midair and bend it backward when he was diving again from the position on his back. And what a wide grin he had on his face.</p><p>He took his hat off his head and winced at how heavy with water it was. He tried to squeeze some of it out when suddenly Arthur jumped out of the water again, this time in front of him. John yelled surprised and stumbled back, water once again hitting him with how fast the merman appeared on the surface.</p><p>“John, hi!,” he greeted. He was grinning even wider now and he looked really happy. John had no other choice but to return that smile, feeling his cheeks already hurting. “You didn’t come in the morning, I thought you decided to spend time with your friends.”</p><p>Arthur propped himself on his arms, leaning against the rock belt. John got back closer and copied the position, the wet hat still in his hand but already forgotten.</p><p>“In a way,” he replied and nodded at the water. “What you was doing… amazing.”</p><p>Arthur looked back at the water. When he turned to face John again, he looked a little bashful. “What, those jumps?” he asked, smiling nervously. “It’s as simple as you jumping on land.”</p><p>“Well, I can’t do that,” John reminded him, admiring the light blush on the merman’s face.</p><p>“Not in the water. But I can’t jump on land so we’re even.”</p><p>“Really? Because yesterday you showed something different.”</p><p>It wasn't a big jump but high enough to reach John’s hips and the momentum was strong enough to knock him out of his feet.</p><p>“That’s not a jump, most of my body was still on the ground,” Arthur laughed.</p><p>“Still a jump in my book,” John insisted. “That’s what you do when I'm not here? Jump out of the water?”</p><p>“It’s fun,” the merman explained and lifted himself on the rocks, sitting down. John put the wet hat on his head and did the same. While they were facing two different directions, they were looking at each other. John had no idea what fun was in jumping but maybe in water it was different. “And help keep my skin clean.”</p><p>“Your skin?” he replied, turning to sit facing the same direction as Arthur and looking at the human part of his body. It looked fine, smooth and without any signs of bites, just a couple of scares here and there. John lifted a hand and touched Arthur's abdomen, feeling the muscles tensing for a moment at the sudden contact before relaxing back again. It sent a shiver through his body and when he realized what he had done he blushed, taking back his hand like the skin burned, even if it was cold. His heart was beating fast in his chest. “Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to,” he apologized quickly, looking away from the merman. “Don’t know what came over me.”</p><p>“It’s fine,” Arthur assured him and pulled his tail out of the water, laying it across John’s laps. “Jumping out of the water throws the bugs off me. I take off the rest.”</p><p>John didn’t hesitate to touch the tail either, his hands were on it before he even thought of it. It laid heavy in his laps, making his pants wet but he didn’t even care. He just moved his hand up and down the scales, feeling how slick and scratchy they were depending on which direction he was moving. He noticed a few weird looking things resting on the light colored scales. They were white and round, with something inside, and quite big.</p><p>“Is that it?” he asked, poking that thing. Whatever animal it was inside, it shifted when John touched it. He took his hand back with disgust.</p><p>Arthur nodded. “Yeah, they’re annoying,” he said and reached for that thing with his hand. He pushed his claw under it and the parasite came off after a hard tug. Arthur threw it into the water. “But at least I can do this, wales and other animals can’t. They don’t like sitting on me much anyway so I only get a few of those every few weeks.”</p><p>John touched another one of those things. It looked like a weird rock but it was a living thing.</p><p>“Ocean is horrifying,” he stated, making Arthur huff. “You only have them there?”</p><p>“Yeah, they never get on my human skin.”</p><p>John hummed and pulled his knife from the holster. Arthur watched him curious and didn’t even twitch when John put a tip of the blade under the parasite and popped it off, and then the next till the tail was smooth again. Just to be sure, John checked if there was no more around the fins. He was wary to avoid the hidden slit at the height of Arthur's hips. One embarrassing talk about genitals was enough.</p><p>When he was satisfied, John patted the tail but to his surprise, Arthur didn’t take it back, he just let it lay there. This and the trust the merman had in him to not hurt him with a knife was making John grin uncontrollably.</p><p>“Think you’re clean and pretty again,” John informed him. Not knowing what to do with his hands, he just rested them on the tail.</p><p>Arthur grinned, his tail still in John’s laps like it belonged there. “Thanks,” he said, the grin present even in his eyes. The blue in them and the thin circle of green around the irises were bright, sparkling with joy. John stared into them for a few more seconds, probably looking like an idiot to Arthur, but the merman was smiling and didn’t mean the staring he started himself, looking so deep into John's eyes it felt like he could read his mind that way. If he really could, the only thing he found there was blue, because John couldn’t think about anything else but that pretty color. Color of the sky, the ocean, the tail in his lap and the eyes focused solely on him.</p><p>John’s heart skipped a bit and he smiled back at the merman before turning away, feeling awkward all of sudden and nervously putting a strand of his hair behind the ear. Arthur shifted his gaze as well and they both just stared at the ocean, John’s fingers mindlessly stroking the smooth scales of the tail in his lap. When he spared a glance at Arthur, his lips were still formed into a smile, as was John’s.</p><p>“So, you never told me, did you spend time with your friends?” Arthur asked after a few minutes of just watching the water. The presence of another person and the soothing sounds of the ocean made the silence between them completely enjoyable, without any need to talk. John didn’t mind that Arthur spoke up, he liked talking to him, but he wouldn’t mind if they spent the whole day just sitting next to each other. He liked quiet and he needed such peace after the fiasco from the other day, and Arthur was helping him forget which wasn’t surprising as yesterday proved already.</p><p>If it was anyone else, John would never forget about a promise, but with Arthur it was surprisingly easy to forget about everything. Not only this place was like a paradise, the merman’s company was something John greatly enjoyed, even more than the gang right now. When they were together, he had no need or want to think about anyone or anything else and he could really relax. John was glad he found this place one day. He didn’t expect it would be so important to him or that he would find such great company here at first but now his visits here were the best parts of his days.      </p><p>“It was nothing big,” he answered vaguely. He didn’t want to tell Arthur about the robbery. Not because the merman would mind but because he didn’t want to worry him. He could lie that the robbery wasn’t dangerous but John didn’t want that. So instead of laying, he decided to not tell at all. He would talk about it later, he was going to visit Arthur right after they would get the money. “I promised to talk to them yesterday but I forgot so I did it today.”</p><p>There, not a lie but not a truth either. His conscience was clean. Or so he thought because those words still left a terrible taste in his mouth.</p><p>Arthur actually felt responsible for John forgetting. “Oh, sorry I interrupted your day.”</p><p>“Don’t be, I don’t regret it, I had fun.” Arthur shouldn’t feel guilty about John forgetting. It was his fault he couldn’t focus on anything while being here.</p><p>“Yeah, me too,” the merman admitted. “But still…”</p><p>John interrupted him. “It was my own fault for forgetting,” he assured before smirking teasingly. “Okay, it’s yours fault too for being such a good company.”</p><p>Arthur huffed offended and next thing John knew, he got hit on the face with a tail. It didn’t hurt, it was a light slap but he still glared at the merman.</p><p>“You’re a great company too,” Arthur suddenly admitted and all the anger from John just disappeared. “But I can’t really choose anyone else.”</p><p>“Well, I can,” John noticed. He had no idea when his hand found its place on Arthur's arm or when exactly he started smiling at the merman who watched him intensely, even more so than minutes ago.</p><p>John didn’t have to say anything else, that was enough for Arthur who grinned widely at him, a light blush dusting his bearded cheeks. John’s own lips moved on their own, curling into a smile as well.</p><p>“You sure you don’t want to spend more time with humans?” Arthur asked. It was like their talk from yesterday, only somehow deeper, more meaningful.  </p><p>John squeezed Arthur's arm gently before releasing it. “I’m sure. I spent all my life among them, let me enjoy my first merman,” he joked, feeling proud when it made the merman laugh.</p><p>“You have enough of your species?”</p><p>“You would too in my place. Humans are annoying.”</p><p>Arthur tilted his head and looked at him amused. “You’re not so bad.”</p><p>“And how many humans do you know to say that?”</p><p>“Only one, and I have to admit, he’s a little annoying.”</p><p>John scoffed at the chuckling merman. “I’m starting to regret coming here.”</p><p>“No you ain’t,” Arthur saw right through his bluff. Not that it was hard. “You enjoy my company, even when I tease you.”</p><p>John wanted to deny if only to tease back but all he could do was smile fondly at the merman.</p><p>“That I do,” he confirmed and licked his lips nervously. “I really do, more than my friends’ right now. I prefer spending time with you than with them.” He felt himself blush because of those words, the tips of his ear became really warm. Arthur didn’t comment, he watched, listening to his every word. “So don’t worry about me not spending the time with my friends and stop feeling like you’re stealing me from them or something. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t choose that.” He spent time with his friends today. Apart from Micah annoying him, he enjoyed himself. But not as much as he enjoyed his time with Arthur.</p><p>The merman relaxed next to him, he could feel it in the tail too, how it went slack in his lap. John hoped Arthur understood finally that he wanted to be here, not with his friends. Was it really that much of a difference at this point?  </p><p>“Well, you’re always welcome here,” the merman promised. It was something that didn’t need to be said but John still liked to hear it. It made him want to smile again so he did just that. He smiled a lot around Arthur, more than around anyone else. “So…” John tensed when he saw a mischief glint in Arthur's eye. “Am I distracting so much you forget about things?”</p><p>John stared at him surprised before blushing and huffing in anger when Arthur started laughing.</p><p>“Shut up,” he ordered him, only making the merman laugh harder. His laugh ran through John's body like a warm wave.</p><p>“That’s very sweet of you, John,” he laughed still.</p><p>To hide his embarrassment, John started digging through his satchel. “I brought something for you to see,” he informed the merman, hopefully distracting him from laughing. It wasn't hard to find a metal harmonica. He packed it while he was preparing for the ride with the boys and Tilly. He had some new food for the merman as well. “I borrowed it from my friend Sadie, so you can’t keep it and don’t drop it into the water.”</p><p>Arthur stopped laughing but he was smiling. “Sadie is the scary female one, right?” he asked, taking the harmonica from John’s hands who snorted.</p><p>“Sure, scary female one,” he confirmed and as always, watched as the merman examined the strange new object.</p><p>“I think I saw it before. People on the ships use it, they put it near their mouth and it makes a sound.”</p><p>“That’s good, it’s called harmonica and it’s an instrument.” Arthur grinned proudly when he found out he was right. “Want me to show you how to play?”</p><p>“Sure, just give me a second, I’ll bring something too.”</p><p>Arthur gave him back the harmonica and jumped into water, disappearing under the surface. John took that opportunity to walk towards the land. His heart became warm when he noticed the chest being used. It was open and Arthur's journal laid next to it while everything else was inside, now also few sea shells and pretty looking stones.</p><p>John left his boots and satchel next to it and returned to the rock belt in time for Arthur to get back. He was holding a big, pinkish shell in his hands.</p><p>“What’s that?” John asked curiously.</p><p>“Merpeople don’t have a lot of instruments, our voices are instruments but we have a few,” he explained from the water. John took the shell from him so the merman could climb back on the rocks. He watched the instrument then, it had some holes cut out, it was probably working similar to the flute. “This thing is called rorhtu.”</p><p>“Rorhtu,” John replied and he and Arthur swept their instruments. “Does it have any translation?”</p><p>“I don’t think so?” Arthur answered, uncertain. “You can make one.”</p><p>“Play it first so I can know how it sounds.”</p><p>Arthur put one end of the shell in his mouth and after placing fingers over the holes in its sides, he blew the air inside, creating a high, swishing sound. Definitely a flute.</p><p>“How’s that?”</p><p>“Sounds like flute,” John said and knowing Arthur probably didn’t know what a flute is, he decided to describe it quickly. “It’s a long instrument with holes in it and it makes a similar sound to… Uh…”</p><p>He already forgot the name.</p><p>Arthur watched him with sympathy. “Rorhtu,” the merman helped him and chuckled. “The flute it is. Want to play now?”</p><p>John grinned at him excitedly. “Sure.”</p><p>He started first, playing a simple melody and Arthur soon joined, quickly fitting in with his own music. It probably wasn't perfect and the melody John chose wasn't fit for the duet with a flute but it was still fun to play music with another person. Arthur looked at him at some point and John looked back. Not a second letter, they both grinned so much at the joy in each other’s eyes they couldn’t play anymore and just laughed when instead of beautiful sounds, all that came out of their instruments next was some wheezing.</p><p>“It sounded like your laugh right now,” Arthur noticed, talking about his flute.</p><p>John giggled harder, hearing the similarities in his laugh and how the flute sounded when it just wheezed. He made himself stop and took a deep breath, still wheezing with laughter slightly.</p><p>“Screw you, my laugh is normal” he tried arguing back but he still laughed at the end of the sentence because he did sound the same. Arthur grinned at him and bumped their shoulder together playfully.</p><p>“It’s nice,” he admitted. “Your laugh, I mean.”</p><p>John’s laugh turned into a nervous chuckle. “Thanks. Yours too.” He didn’t know what else to say but that seemed to be enough for Arthur.</p><p>They returned to playing when they calmed down and eventually, also switched the instrument. John was terrible with flute, he never played it but Arthur was equally horrible with harmonica. They pretty much scared all the animals from the area, John would be surprised if Old Boy was still up on the cliff and not somewhere far away from here.</p><p>How terrible they sounded made them giggle like drunk idiots again. They really tried to learn how to play their respective instruments but they just couldn’t so they just gave up and got back to playing what they knew how before any human would try to check what was going on.</p><p>John never played with anyone, he rarely played in general it was just not his thing. He only knew how to play harmonica because he liked to annoy Dutch and Hosea with it when he was younger and bored out of his mind. He learned accidently and sometimes liked to play in the wilderness since then but he never played with someone.</p><p>He liked doing it with Arthur, how well they worked together. Sometimes the merman was leading the melody and John had to adjust, sometimes other way around but it never was much of a problem, they both knew enough melodies to find one to fit the other. The ocean was a nice addition to their music that sounded like something that could be played around the campfire. He felt almost sad that no one but them would ever hear this but at the same time, he liked that it was their music and no one’s else.</p><p>From time to time, John was glancing at the merman and watched how focused he was, how he was slowly closing his eyes and all that mattered for a few long seconds was music. Then, as if sensing John was watching, Arthur would open his eyes and look back. Instead of smiling like the first time and ruining the music, they would just watch each other for a little longer before getting more into playing again, their bodies gently moving on their own to the music they played.  </p><p>John wasn’t surprised when he noticed Arthur watching him too sometimes.</p><p>They played till they got tired and couldn’t feel their mouths again.</p><p>“You know, we never told each other how to play those things,” John said to Arthur when they were sitting on the beach again, hiding from the sun. “I think that would’ve helped.”</p><p>“You think?” Arthur asked, grinning.</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>They looked at each other and chuckled like two idiots they were.</p><p>“Well, next time,” the merman promised.</p><p>“Next time,” John agreed, already couldn’t wait to play again. </p><p>John was aware that he should’ve probably came back earlier to camp today. He needed a good night of sleep before the robbery but he didn’t want to move. Not after dinner for which he caught a rabbit that was hopping near Old Boy, and was such an easy kill John couldn’t just let that opportunity go(Arthur liked the rabbit, he bit into the raw meat like it was nothing). He didn’t leave after sunset either, which they watched from the beach and later moved on to the rock belt to watch the stars as well.</p><p>That’s how they were sitting for an hour now, chatting about nothing in particular, with Arthur sketching and John’s hat on his head. John watched the stars since they started appearing in the sky. It was a cloudless night, perfect for such observation. The ocean water was still warm after a whole day of being under the sun so John enjoyed keeping his legs there, waving them lazily right next to Arthur's tail.</p><p>“You see anything?” he asked Arthur. He put out a lantern so it could give them some light and let them see each other but it was standing on John’s side, not Arthur.</p><p>“I see everything.” When Arthur raised his head to look at him, his eyes were black. He uncovered them for John. “It’s dark underwater too.”</p><p>“So you don’t need the light,” John noticed.</p><p>“No, but you do, so keep it,” he said and returned to his drawing. John couldn’t see what it was.</p><p>He chuckled. “Wish I could see like that.”</p><p>“Helpless in the water, helpless in the dark,” Arthur started pointing out. “You feel comfortable anywhere?”</p><p>“We feel comfortable with guns in our hands,” John replied and looked back at the stars. It’s been a while since the sunset, he should really start getting back and get some sleep. But he was feeling so good sitting just there, he wasn't even tired.</p><p>“That’s not a place,” the merman noticed with a chuckle.</p><p>“No it’s not,” he agreed and watched the merman draw. The curiosity was eating him. “What are you drawing?”</p><p>“Why don’t you take your fancy lamp and see?” Arthur suggested cheekily.</p><p>John rolled his eyes, sure that the merman saw, before picking up the lamp and bringing it closer to the journal. “That’s me,” he realized. It was a sketch of him playing on the harmonica. “Jesus, Arthur, it’s amazing.”</p><p>“You think so?” he asked shyly, like he had any reason to when he was drawing so good and he knew it.</p><p>“Yeah, it’s really great,” he repeated, watching the sketch with amazement. It wasn’t finished yet and it already looked good.</p><p>No wonder Arthur watched him during playing. What reason did John have? </p><p>“Thank you,” Arthur murmured and placed the journal back in his lap to continue. “I really liked playing with you so I wanted to draw the moment.”</p><p>“I liked playing with you as well,” John admitted, smiling warmly at the merman. “We should do it again soon. If Sadie will let me borrow her harmonica again.”</p><p>“Just buy one for yourself.”</p><p>He was actually thinking about it. And about borrowing a guitar from Javier. He didn’t know how to play it but Arthur could still enjoy it and they could learn together.</p><p>John put back the lantern on the rocks and checked the time. It was 10 already. Not the latest hour he ever returned to the camp but never before an important robbery. He was always making sure he was well rested before those yet here he was, willing to sit even a whole night with a merman he knew for over a week. And it all started because of mutual interest.</p><p>“Okay, I’m done,” Arthur announced proudly and showed the drawing to John again. “It’s the first time I drew a human.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>Arthur nodded. “Drawing dead humans as alive would be strange,” he chuckled, making John smile. “They always look horrible anyway.”</p><p>This time John chuckled. “Yeah, I noticed,” he said, staring at his own picture. “I like it a lot.”</p><p>He turned to Arthur who was grinning proudly. “I have a great model,” he answered simply.</p><p>John was glad for the darkness and an orange glow of the lantern that hid his blush. “You could find better humans to be your models,” he noticed shyly. He wasn't used to people liking his face or thinking it’s worth drawing. Not that it ever happened.</p><p>“You looked nice,” Arthur kept saying bluntly, like it was nothing big. “I liked how focused you was on playing.”</p><p>What a coincidence, I liked that about you too, he thought, but didn’t say it aloud, only smiled gratefully at the merman. He could see it now that Arthur wasn’t trying to portray just John, he wanted to portray his enjoyment too. In John's opinion, he succeeded. He really looked happy on that sketch, just like when he was playing.</p><p>“Some pretty lady would look better,” he still stated, stubborn.</p><p>“Maybe but I can’t exactly go to one and ask her to let me draw her,” Arthur noticed with an amused huff. “Guess I'm stuck drawing you.”</p><p>“Should I feel offended?” Arthur only chuckled, putting away his journal, careful to not let it fall into the water. “So I’m the first human you was this close to?”</p><p>“I thought it was obvious.”</p><p>“I just thought you tried before.”</p><p>With Arthur’s interest in humans, John expected him sneaking around humans all the time.</p><p>“No, never,” he admitted, looking at the stars. John looked up too. “It was too dangerous and I was too scared to try my luck. The closest I was to humans was while I was swimming with the ships to learn English and when I was hunting with my father. Other than that, you’re the first none dead human I ever touched.”</p><p>“I'm honored,” John joked, surprised that he actually felt special. “If you was so scared of getting close to humans, why didn't you escape after saving me?”</p><p>Arthur shrugged, still looking at the stars but John only had his eyes on him now, waiting for an answer.</p><p>“I don’t know,” he admitted finally. He sounded really confused so John knew he was telling the truth. “When I noticed you in my bay, I stayed away like always, wondering if I would have to find another place to live if you knew this place now.”</p><p>“I was going to come back so probably.” John didn’t know how to feel with the thought that he almost scared the merman away. He wouldn’t even know and in the end he didn’t do it yet he still felt like he needed to apologize for that.</p><p>Arthur looked briefly at him before looking away again, this time towards the ocean. Maybe it was helping him gather his thoughts.</p><p>“I didn’t even want to help you at first,” he admitted and watched John again, waiting for an angry reaction. John wasn't angry. “I thought you could swim and then I was scared that you would hurt me if you noticed me helping you. But you were so weak in the water that I couldn’t just leave you.”</p><p>“You saved my life,” John reminded him. Even when Arthur was just a monster to him, he was still grateful for that.</p><p>Arthur nodded. “I was going to leave you alone after making sure you was breathing. But then I thought that’s probably the only opportunity I would have to see or maybe even talk to a human from up close.” Arthur smiled fondly at the memory. “I was so excited to practice my English on you, try to learn something about your species. I knew I was risking a lot but I just couldn’t leave.”</p><p>“So you stayed and we talked.”</p><p>“You had no idea how nervous I was,” Arthur laughed. “Even without a gun I somehow knew you could still kill me.”</p><p>“I don’t think I would, our fight from yesterday proved that,” John reminded with amusement. “You’re strong and you have claws, I have nothing without guns.”</p><p>“Still, I needed to be careful. So I hid who I was.”</p><p>“But you showed yourself eventually.” He would never forget the moment he saw Arthur's tail for the first time.</p><p>“Didn’t really have a choice, you noticed I was speaking in a weird way and you was getting closer.”</p><p>“Couldn’t you just run?”</p><p>“You would still notice something was wrong if I just dived,” Arthur noticed. It was true, a strange man disappearing underwater and never showing up again. John would still come back to the bay to investigate. “I was already risking so much so I risked some more.”</p><p>“You’re a brave bastard, you know that?” John asked. Arthur watched him confused. “I could’ve shot you that day.”</p><p>“No, I don’t think you would.” Now John was confused. “Don’t ask me why but I had a feeling you wouldn’t shoot. That’s why I kept coming towards you.”</p><p>“I was pointing the gun at you.” He remembered it, he was ready to shoot. He was aiming at Arthur, for god’s sake, he was so close to killing him. If it weren’t for someone up on the cliff shooting first and spooking the merman, they wouldn’t be here right now. Arthur would’ve been sold and stuffed to be shown in some museum, not happy and alive, sitting next to John.  </p><p>“You wouldn’t have shot,” the merman said firmly, confident in his feelings about John.</p><p>“How do you know?”</p><p>Arthur shrugged again. “Gut feeling,” he replied and smiled at John. “I'm glad I didn’t scare you forever and you returned. I was lonely.”</p><p>John’s heart clenched painfully when he remembered how desperate Arthur was for a friend back then. He still was if his smiles every time he was seeing John were saying something. Always so excited to spend time with a boring outlaw.</p><p>John fought against it for a day or two but he finally gave up. He said during their second meeting that they wouldn’t be friends. He was wrong. He would never imagine back then that in just a few days he would crave to spend time with Arthur, like his jokes or his disgusting food. That the monster that saved his life for some reason would play music with him or that they would play fight in the water and John wouldn’t be scared of getting eaten to death oir drowned.</p><p>That he wouldn’t even blink at Arthur eating a human corpse or that they would hug and he would like it the same way he liked Arthur's laugh and his smile.</p><p>He had no idea back then what he was getting into but he couldn’t be happier with the surprise this friendship was.</p><p>“What are you grinning at?”</p><p>John wasn't even aware that he was. He chuckled embarrassed and looked at his friend.</p><p>Friend. He liked that word a lot.</p><p>“Just thinking how my life turned out the way that made me sit next to a sea monster that wasn't even real for me not so long ago,” he explained.</p><p>Arthur watched him with a smirk and when John stopped talking, the merman snorted.</p><p>“I'm not a monster,” he pointed out. He didn’t have to explain it to John anymore and that’s not what he meant by calling him that. But he let him talk anyway. “I’m more of a human than it looks at first glance. I have feelings like humans, dreams, interests. I have thoughts, I mourn, I'm compassionate, I suffer and love.” John just listened to him, already knowing all of this but he was still captivated by the raw emotions in Arthur’s voice. And when the merman raised his hand, showing him his palm, John brought up his as well and connected them.</p><p>They were different, Arthur's claws hovered over their fingers, pointy and sharp. His palm was cold, more wrinkled at the inside and John could see a membrane spreading between the merman’s fingers. But everything else was the same. The size, the number of fingers bending the same way like his. John’s claws weren't even that but he had them. His fingernails were his claws.</p><p>The hand pressed against his was a human hand, belonging to a human.</p><p>He looked at Arthur, into his human eyes and at his human smile.</p><p>“You and I ain't so different just because we don’t look the same,” Arthur spoke again, a smile still present on his face.</p><p>John smiled back at him and tangled their fingers together, squeezing firmly the hand in his hold.</p><p>“You may be right,” he said, watching Arthur's smile grow. “Friend.”</p><p>John's heart jumped at the way that word made Arthur's mouth go slack and eyes widen in shock. He stared at John surprised for what seemed to be the longest time, their hands still connected. And then a huge, bright grin stretched over Arthur’s lips, as if this word was everything he had ever wanted to hear.</p><p>John certainly never wanted to say that word as much as just a moment ago.   </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next chapter, the big robbery is coming up. Will everything go according to John's plan? Is someone going to get hurt? Will Micah do something stupid? Will Arthur worry?</p><p>Yes. You guess now to which question this answer applies.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Robbing Uncle Sam</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“That’s not fair I can’t go,” Sean complained while standing next to John and his horse which he was saddling.</p><p>“You can’t go with that leg,”</p><p>John was kind of relieved Sean couldn’t tag alone. This kid was always messing up something and this was too big of a job for him. He had a lot to learn still.  </p><p>“I could if I stayed on a horse.”</p><p>“You’re not going.” John was nervous enough as it was, he didn’t need to worry about Sean too. “Maybe next time, once your leg is healed.”</p><p>“I’ll hold to that word, Scarface,” Sean promised and limped away with the help of a cane that Charles made him recently. John didn’t even know about this till today when he saw Sean walking without help. He really didn’t have time to see the changes in the camp between visiting Arthur and… And that’s all since he planned the robbery last minute.</p><p>And it was here already.</p><p>John was relieved when in the morning he felt excitement about the upcoming job, just like he always did. Still, if he had a choice, he would’ve been with Arthur a long time ago.  </p><p>While preparing for the job, he kept wondering what the merman was doing, would he wonder why John didn’t come in the morning again? Maybe he should’ve told him about the robbery after all. Not telling Arthur and making him wait all morning only to be disappointed wasn’t fair. Yesterday he had no other choice but to be late without any heads-up but he was able to warn Arthur about today, he just didn’t.</p><p>While he doubted Arthur was the person to get petty or offended over something like that and he would surely understand the reason for John's absence, John should’ve told him, even if just to not to expect him in the morning. Now instead of swimming somewhere and having fun, Arthur was probably at the bay, waiting, maybe even worrying where John was.</p><p>The merman never said anything about being worried yesterday but it was given to happen when you expect your friend to show up and they never did.</p><p>John smiled at the reminder that they were officially friends now. He never felt this giddy because of it before, but Arthur was special not only because he was a merman. There was something about him that was dragging John to him. Maybe that was the infamous siren song. Only he couldn’t imagine how something like this could bring sailors to death. Unless merpeople in the past used their captivating personalities to lure people to themselves and then eat them.</p><p>If that was what Arthur was doing, John didn’t even care about getting eaten. He was pretty sure that wasn't Arthur's intention anyway so he was perfectly safe in his friend’s company.</p><p>Friend. God, he liked this word so much!</p><p>“What are you smiling at, amigo?” clearly amused Javier asked, packing his saddle bags next to John.</p><p>John blushed, avoiding the other man’s eyes. “Just excited about the job, that’s all,” he explained himself, fastening the belt around his rifle to make sure it wouldn’t fall during the ride.</p><p>Javier clapped his back lightly and smiled. “Nice to see you in a good mood again.”</p><p>“Yeah.” John cleared his throat and looked around. Lenny, Micah and Tilly were ready and only waited for them now. John checked one more time if he had everything he would need – guns, ammo, some bandages for a small wound if one of them would get shot, Which he hoped wouldn’t happen to anyone in his group. But for it not to happen, he needed to have his head clear and be focused on the job, not on the merman miles away, waiting for him.</p><p>He really should’ve told him.</p><p>It seemed he had everything but just to be sure, he checked again. He was thinking about Arthur so much he wouldn’t be surprised if he missed something, even something important. Like he had a robbery to plan. How could he forget so easily, he still didn’t know. </p><p>“Think we’re ready,” he announced, checking the members of his group. Everyone except Tilly was armed to the teeth, the army was no laughing matter, so they needed to be prepared well. Tilly has her own weapon too, hidden under one of the layers of her old but still pretty yellow dress. The guards of the stagecoach wouldn’t just ride past her for sure, especially if Tilly would play her part right, which John wasn’t worried about at all. She was really good at fooling men. “We can go.”</p><p>“You sure you don’t want to go wherever you’re going every day?” Micah asked. Next to him, Lenny groaned, irritated.</p><p>It looked like whatever Tilly knew about John’s visit, she didn’t really tell boys anything. Still, Micah looked like he knew something, he was weirdly pleased with himself.</p><p>Deciding that the best way to deal with Micah is to ignore his mocking, John silently climbed onto Old Boy and rode off from camp first. The others followed right after and Micah quickly caught up to John.</p><p>“What? No witty comeback? No ‘shut up, Micah’?” he asked with a teasing smile.</p><p>“Shut up, Micah,” John said with a sigh. “You happy?”</p><p>“Much,” the man replied but didn’t look like he was done. “Just worry about you, Marston, that’s all.”</p><p>“Didn’t take you for a carrying type, Micah,” Javier noticed, riding on the other side of John. Tilly and Lenny were behind them.</p><p>“Of course I care.” John rolled his eyes and the over-the-top sincerity in Micah’s voice. “Would you prefer if I didn’t?”</p><p>“I don’t know, you’re scarier when you act like a decent human being.”</p><p>Micah snorted. “Good one, Javier.” Javier smiled at him and John sighed again. He really was excited for the job, to shoot and fight, but rather than listening to Micah, he would rather listen to Arthur right now. “You sure you can do it, John?”</p><p>“What, you questioning my leadership skills, Micah?” John asked, narrowing his eyes at the other man.</p><p>“Not at all,” Micah assured. “Just noticed you daydreaming a lot, don’t want you to do the same on the job and get one of us killed. There is still time for you to get back and send Bill instead of you.”</p><p>“The only one capable of causing something to get one of us killed is you and your trigger happy finger,” John snapped, realizing he let the man rile him up again. “Just do your job and everything will be fine.”</p><p>“Sure, as long as you’ll do yours.”</p><p>John gritted his teeth in anger but didn’t say anything. He understood why Micah was mocking him but the other man didn’t have to be worried, John wasn't going to do anything stupid and let his free time or constant thoughts about Arthur affect his work because he was a professional who knew when to focus solely on the job. He was pretty sure being shot at makes thinking about your friend who is miles away hard on its own.</p><p>There wouldn’t be a repeat from two days ago. He made a fool of himself in front of the whole gang then, he wasn't going to fail on this job and prove to Dutch that all he said when he was still angry was true. John was still a good gunslinger and an outlaw and he would prove it by keeping his people safe and robbing Uncle Sam himself.</p><p>Micah would have nothing bad to say about him once they return to the camp with the army's pay.</p><p>They avoided the town but watched it from afar. Sheriff was already prepared for the arrival of the stagecoach, he had his deputies patrolling the streets to make sure no one was trying anything. Once the stagecoach would be out of his town, he wouldn’t care anymore and even if he would, the army would be robbed too far from them for the sheriff to be any help. They couldn’t have chosen a better place for a robbery, John had a really good feeling about it.</p><p>They arrived at the spot almost two hours before the stagecoach was due to pass through town. John wanted to be there earlier than risk passing by the stagecoach on the road. It was also giving them a chance to get ready and find perfect places to hide, which wasn't that hard considering they were in the middle of the forest.</p><p>Hiding horses was not a problem too and soon their steeds were resting not far from them but impossible to see from the road.</p><p>The waiting was agonizing, it was always the worst part of those jobs. John got bored pretty quickly and he wasn't the only one. Once Tilly and Javier stopped making the girl’s dress a little more dirty and worn out to make Tilly look authentic(Javier even nipped himself with knife and smeared blood on the material and Tilly’s face), they just sat down next to Lenny who was smart enough to bring a book with him. Either that or he was always carrying one with him all the time.  </p><p>Eventually Javier and Tilly ended talking quietly. John watched them from the other side of the road but even that wasn’t entertaining enough for him. Despite trying his best, he couldn’t stop thinking about Arthur and what they were going to do when he would visit the merman after the job. They could draw again or learn each other’s languages. Arthur was getting better and better with writing and John did too, the symbols and merfolk’s alphabet stopped looking like some ugly doodles and were almost as good as Arthur's. He was proud of his progress.   </p><p>It was way past the usual time John would visit, Arthur was probably wondering where his friend was and if it had anything going with the gang again. Maybe he was worried John didn’t arrive. Or just like yesterday he was passing time by jumping out of the water and having fun. John wished he could see it again or do anything else with Arthur. Even sitting in silence with the merman wasn't as boring as waiting for the stagecoach right now. He could stare at the sparkling tail for hours and not get bored.</p><p>Sighing, John rested his head on the trunk of the tree he was sitting against and looked up at the leaves above. He could see some parts of the sky and the ray of sun was slipping past the thick wrenches as the sun was climbing higher and higher the closer to noon it was.</p><p>Noon in California was really hot, the heat had no mercy and even though it hadn't arrived yet and the forest was giving some shade, John was sweating in his clothes already and he didn’t even dress in many layers. Even at noon, it would be colder at the bay. The cold breeze of the ocean and the warm but somehow cooling water was better at making the heat bearable, even when the sun was blazing from above and there was almost no shadow at the bay.</p><p>John wanted nothing more right now than to pull off his boots, roll up his pants and dip his feet in the water of the bay, next to Arthur's tail that would flick against his ankles from time to time, reminding the merman was there. He wanted to feel the warm sand under his palms while he would lean back on them, enjoying the sun that this close to the ocean was only pleasant. He would pull the hat over his eyes and listen to Arthur drawing next to him. Or not, because the merman would probably steal his hat again.</p><p>Maybe he should buy him one just for him?</p><p>If not sitting in silence, they would just chat about merpeople and humans, learn something new from each other. Later they would eat dinner like always and Arthur would probably bring something disgusting and worm looking that he would assure John was very good. Maybe it was but not with John's cooking skills.</p><p>John didn’t notice when he closed his eyes or when he wasn't alone anymore. Only when he smelled a tabaco close to him he blinked a few times and looked to his left, coming face to face with Micah who sat down next to him and smoked now instead of standing a few feet away and sharpening his knife, which he was doing earlier.</p><p>“What?” John asked, his voice a little hoarse from not speaking for a while.  </p><p>“You daydreaming again, boy?”</p><p>Sometimes John was sure this man had nothing else to do but bother others. He saw it many times in the camp already. Most of the time Micah was sitting somewhere alone but there were times when he would come from one person to another and start checking how far he could tease them before ending with a punch to the teeth.</p><p>“No more than you,” he replied and shifted to sit more comfortably. And to discreetly put some distance between himself and Micah.</p><p>“I don’t daydream.” John didn’t ask. “It’s for women and children.”</p><p>John rolled his eyes. “What would you daydream about anyway?” he asked, curious. “More guns?”</p><p>“Very funny, Marston.” Micah took a big drag of his cigarette and offered the rest to John who declined with a shake of his head. “So…” John didn’t like the tone of the man’s voice. “You gonna go to your secret place after the robbery?”</p><p>John felt a cold shiver climbing up his spine before he quickly made himself calm again. There was no way Micah knew about the bay, he just used the words ‘secret place’ to make a point, nothing more. He wasn't insinuating anything.</p><p>Carefully, he looked at the man, checking if he noticed John’s sudden nervousness but it looked like he corrected himself fast enough and Micah didn’t notice a thing.</p><p>“None of your business.”</p><p>Answering like that was probably only encouraging Micah to keep asking, maybe even to snoop around. While others might respect John's privacy, Micah was surely one of the people that had no respect for anything and John didn’t want to risk Micah following him one day and finding out about Arthur.</p><p>But what could he say? It was obvious nobody believed he was just looking for work or fools to rob. Tilly was suspecting something and she probably told everyone about it already. If she knew something, others had their suspicions too. John would have to come up with a really good lie to fool his friends and at the same time kill their curiosity. Some people probably didn’t give a damn about what he was doing in his free time, Javier didn’t seem to care that much, neither Hosea or Dutch. There were probably more people like that but those close to him were worried and wanted to know more.</p><p>What should he tell them? If he mentions a friend, they would want to meet him and he would have no excuse to refuse them, especially such gentle people like Charles or one of the girls. If he said he had a mistress, the gang would not only start mocking him, they would want to meet her as well. While he could lie she would be scared of the men, he wouldn’t be able stop the girls from meeting her and everyone would know there was no mistress, there was no woman at all.</p><p>Maybe he could hire a whore to pretend? Would it work?</p><p>He wanted to sigh defeated but he couldn’t do it while Micah was next to him. John had nothing. No lie, no excuse. All he could do was keep Arthur a secret and hope his friends would lose interest after some time or get tired of the secret and that it wouldn’t lead them to following him one day. He didn’t know how they would react or how Arthur would react. The merman was curious about humans but his curiosity was being fed by John, who he wasn't scared of. There was no certainty Arthur wouldn’t get scared by the arrival of another human in his bay and wouldn’t attack out of fear. And when people with guns and fast reflexes are involved, that could end badly very quickly. Unless John could defuse the situation before it could escalate. Still if he would ever introduce Arthur to the others, he would do it by warning everyone who they were about to meet.  </p><p>“You’re daydreaming again,” Micah noticed. John glared at him. “Look, I don’t care if you’re smoking opium, make moonshine in secret, tho I would be very offended if you did and you never share.” John didn’t know if he wanted to groan or roll his eyes. “Or if you’re spending you time in bed with women.”</p><p>“Thank you, Micah, that’s very generous of you,” he mocked, making the older man glare.</p><p>“But I do care if you’re doing something that can put the gang in danger.”</p><p>“I would never do anything like that,” John hissed, angry that Micah was bringing it up again. “I ain’t doing anything that should concern you or the gang. It’s safe.”</p><p>“For now,” Micah added, watching him carefully for any signs of cracks in his defense. “Who knows what you’re doing and with who. Or what you’re saying to them about the gang. You could slip something accidently and we would be in trouble because of you.”</p><p>“The gang is safe,” John repeated through clenched teeth.</p><p>Micah leaned closer towards him, trying to act intimidating. John witnessed this trick used so many times, not only on him, that he wasn’t impressed.</p><p>“If it’s nothing to be worried about, why not tell us what you’re doing?”</p><p>Because you would kill my friend for being different, John thought in his head but said something different. “Maybe I like to have some secrets in life?”</p><p>“People with secrets are not to be trusty.”</p><p>“Said the man from god knows where,” John accused back. Why was Micah so obsessed with proving that John was a traitor? He wanted to punch him for that but that wasn't the best time for a fight, even if it would end quickly. Micah was weak. </p><p>“I ain’t keeping no secrets,” Micah defended himself quickly. “You just don’t ask.”</p><p>“Because we don’t care. As you shouldn’t care about me and my free time.”</p><p>With that said, John stood up and crossed the road to join Lenny, having enough of the talk with Micah for the day. Even that was too much if he was being honest.</p><p>“You okay?” Lenny asked when John sat down next to him, their shoulders touching.</p><p>“Yeah, Micah is just annoying,” he replied and massaged the bridge of his nose. Suddenly his head started to hurt.</p><p>Lenny smiled and leaned closer to whisper in John’s ear. “So he’s his usual self.”</p><p>John chuckled quietly and looked at Micah, who watched them suspicious, probably suspecting they were talking about him. “Yeah,” he nodded and looked at the open book in Lenny’s lap. “What you reading? Can I read with you?”</p><p>“I’m In the middle of the book already.”</p><p>John shrugged. “Still better than doing nothing till the stagecoach is here.”</p><p>“Okay, let me know when to turn the page,” Lenny said and they start to read together.</p><p>The time passed quickly like that and before John noticed, it was time to get into positions. Everyone already had one picked up and they hid behind the tree or some big rocks. Only Tillystayed in sight, she moved a little and sat on the ground next to the road, waiting.</p><p>“Bandanas on, and wait for my signal,” John reminded them, covering his face. The others did the same.</p><p>They didn’t hear the stagecoach for the next twenty minutes or so but when it finally arrived, they could hear it from afar before they saw it as well. Tilly got into the role immediately. She uncovered one of her legs and started rubbing at it, hissing and cursing under her breath, pretending she was injured.</p><p>John watched the stagecoach, thrilled and shaking with excitement, the grip on his gun tightening. He missed a good robbery. He wasn't fond of getting shot at and he still wanted this job to go without a hitch, but he had to admit that exchanging fire was kind of electrifying. As long as no one was getting hurt except their enemies.</p><p>The stagecoach was armored and protected by ten soldiers in total. Even the driver was a soldier and had a gun on his back and by his hip but he wouldn’t be the problem. The man sitting next to him would.</p><p>All men were holding their guns and looking around for any sign of danger but all they saw was a harmless girl on the side of the road. Tilly waved her arms, perfectly showing she had no weapon in her hands.</p><p>“Hey, you, stop!” she yelled. The stagecoach got closer and stopped about ten feet from Tilly who clumsily stood up and took a limping step towards the guards.</p><p>“Miss, stay where you are,” one of the soldiers warned. There were three guards at the front squeezed tightly, horse next to a horse on the narrow path. Four others were at the back and the remaining two were standing on the steps at the sides of the stagecoach, weapons in one hand, the others holding tightly to the handles.</p><p>“I need help, mister,” Tilly said with such desperation in her voice John wanted to leave his hiding spot and help her himself. “I think I sprained my ankle.”</p><p>Soldiers were wary, which wasn't surprising, they were carrying a lot of money and they were suspicious of anything. They didn’t point their guns at Tilly so that was a good sign.</p><p>“What are you doing alone in the forest, miss?” one of the soldiers that looked like some officer asked. He coaxed his horse to get a little closer.</p><p>“I ran from home,” Tilly explained. John couldn’t see her face but he knew she was crying. “My husband, terrible man, tried to kill me! He ain’t right in the head!”</p><p>“And you didn’t pack anything?” the officer asked, his suspicions still too big to fall for Tilly’s performance. John’s eyes wandered towards Micah who was beginning to be impatient. He hoped that this lunatic wouldn’t do anything and would wait for John to get the first shot. “No bag, no horse?”</p><p>“We didn’t have a horse, do I look like I could afford one?” she asked, offended. “And try pack a thing when your husband is coming at you with an ax!”</p><p>Clearly surprised by Tilly’s outburst, the officer became less alerted but his soldiers didn’t. They weren't even looking at the girl and their officer while he dismounted and got closer to her. “Where are you heading, miss?”</p><p>“Anywhere with a station, I'm gonna live with my ma’s aunt in Wisconsin!” she answered. “Will you help me, mister?”</p><p>“It’s captain Retford,” he introduced himself and smiled warmly at Tilly. Thankfully he didn’t have anything against colored people like most of the army mentioned by Bill. Otherwise, Retford wouldn’t even stop probably. “I'm afraid I can’t really help you with that one, we’re just coming from the train station. But we can take you to our fort, we can look at that leg of yours and give you some food.”</p><p>“Oh, thank you, mister!” Tilly exclaimed and let the captain hook their arms so he could help her walk. “I thought I would never get out of this forest.”</p><p>The officer chuckled. “It ain’t that big,” he noticed and started walking Tilly towards the stagecoach.</p><p>It was getting too dangerous, John couldn’t let Tilly get that close to soldiers, they would kill her when the shoot out would start, either by accident or for being the part of the ambush.</p><p>Grabbing his rifle firmly, John left his hiding spot and aimed at the driver. One soldier noticed him but before he could do anything, John shot once and killed the driver before hiding behind the tree again, his heart hammering inside his chest with excitement.</p><p>John smiled under the bandana. This was going to be fun.</p><p>“It’s a trap!”</p><p>After those words from one of the soldiers, all hell broke loose. When John aimed from behind the tree again, he noticed Retford laying on the ground and Tilly nowhere in sight. “Good girl,” he said under his breath and shot a soldier who just jumped from the stagecoach.</p><p>Javier, Lenny and Micah were shooting now as well. It wasn't hard to shoot the soldiers because their horses weren’t going crazy at the sound of gunfire and remained quite calm during the fight.</p><p>Before soldiers could form any formation and put all their training too good use, it was almost over. The remaining three hid behind the stagecoach and stayed alive for a while after all their fellow soldiers died but their time came as well eventually. One didn’t hide fast enough and Micah’s bullet reached him, hitting him on the neck, the other two shortly followed when Javier flanked them and killed them by shooting from his hip.</p><p>The echo of the last shoots ringed through the forest for a few more seconds before it all got quiet and the gang left their covers, walking towards the stagecoach. Horses pulling it were panicking and ran away the moment John cut them free. Lenny was already at the door, mending with the lock.</p><p>“You can open it, kid?” Micah asked, watching the road ahead.   </p><p>“Just give me a few seconds,” Lenny answered with concentration, his voice a little muffled because of the bandana he still had on. They all had, only a dumbass would uncover their face before being absolutely sure they were safe.</p><p>With Micah and Javier watching both sides of the road, John checked if everyone was okay. Nobody complained about any wound so it seemed like that.</p><p>“You alright, Tilly?” he asked the girl who dusted off her dress.</p><p>“Yeah, peachy,” she replied with a big smile. “Thanks for taking me with me, it was fun!”</p><p>“You killed the officer,” he noticed proudly. Dutch would like to hear all about that.</p><p>“I killed one more,” she added, a smug expression on her face.</p><p>Chuckling, Arthur gave her an one arm hug and kissed the top of her head fondly like she was his little sister.</p><p>“Got it!” Lenny announced right after that and climbed inside the stagecoach. He pulled out a heavy box and threw it on the ground before shooting the lock. “Whoa! Look at that!”</p><p>“Very nice!” John noticed while looking inside the box. “Must be at least a thousand here!”</p><p>“A thousand?” Micah repeated. “I expected more from the army's payroll!”</p><p>“It’s a small fort, Micah,” Lenny explained and started packing the money to saddle bags he had with him this whole time.</p><p>While Lenny was taking the money, the rest of them whistled for their horses. They arrived just in time of Lenny finishing. “Got it all!”</p><p>“Alright, let’s go!” John ordered and walked to his horse. The others did the same but before any of them could mount up, they heard hoofbeats. “What the hell is that?”</p><p>“Maybe it’s just some traveler,” Javier suggested but he already had a gun back in his hand.</p><p>“Too many horses,” Micah noticed and cursed. “God damn it! That’s reinforcement!”</p><p>Just as he finished saying that, someone shot at them and the huge groups of soldiers appeared in the distance.</p><p>“Shit!” John said, ducking when other bullets flew past them. Even from such distance soldiers were close to hitting them. “They waited for the convoy closer than I thought!”</p><p>“Maybe you would have known that if you haven’t visited god knows who for the last few days!” Micah accused him, already shooting back.</p><p>“Shut your mouth and get on the horse!” John shouted at him. The horses were spooked by the sudden fire but they stayed obediently by their riders instead of running away. Micah shot again. “God damn it, don’t shoot at them, you moron, just run! We’ll lose them in the forest!”</p><p>Thankfully, Micah listened and jumped on Baylock, galloping away. John grabbed Old Boy’s reins and made sure everyone mounted up before doing it himself. He was responsible for those people, he would only run away when everyone else was safe. Javier was the last one to ride off after Tilly escaped before him.</p><p>Staying low and calming his horse with soothing words, John watched the army still shooting at him and getting closer, but he and the others still had a good head start. With everyone already safe, he finally could mount up. He only put his foot in the stirrup when he felt a dull impact in his left side. Wirth a yelp, he let go of the saddlehorn and fell on his back, clutching at his ribs.</p><p>Old Boy reared up and jumped away scared, neighing in panic. With gritted teeth and pained groan, John looked at his side and carefully uncovered the fresh wound that was bleeding like crazy. He hissed when he pressed his palm against it to stop the bleeding. The pain wasn't spreading but it was agonizing and it was only increasing with each expansion of his lungs in his chest. It was worse now than when he got hit in the first place.</p><p>Switching to shallow breaths, he reached for his gun, noticing his hand was already shaking. He couldn’t even pull out the revolver at first and the soldiers were still shooting, trying to hit him while he was an easy target.</p><p>John tried to aim but his hand was trembling too much and because of the throbbing pain, he couldn’t even raise his upper body from the ground. With another pained groan, he tried once again and the pain exploded through his whole chest area, making him see white and almost pass out. He screamed, his muscles gave up and he fell back on the ground, panting and moaning, once again gripping his side that seemed to be pulsing with fire, just like the flow of blood slipping from under his fingers and soaking his shirt.</p><p>The pain didn’t leave but John’s vision cleared and he watched as the soldiers were getting closer, so close he could almost make their faces. In another weak attempt, he raised his revolver, not even sure if he was aiming it at someone. He pulled the trigger but he didn’t hit anyone. Another shot rang out, not from him, and the soldier at the front fell off his horse that stirred away, almost crashing into horses of other soldiers who needed to stop for a moment. Not long after, John’s vision was blocked by the black body of Baylock who stood on his hind legs for a short moment while his rider shot at the soldiers like a mad man he was.</p><p>“You okay, Marston!?” Micah took a look at him briefly and continued shooting. “You don’t look so good!”</p><p>“Fuck you,” John hissed, trying to turn on his good side and then got up but the withering pain didn’t let him. With a cry, he collapsed again, trembling in agony and out of breath.</p><p>Javier joined the fight shortly, standing in front of John on Boaz like a living shield. “Get him on a horse!” he shouted at someone.</p><p>That someone was Lenny who stopped Maggie next to John and quickly jumped down from her. “It’s alright, John, come on, get up!” he said, pulling John to his feet.</p><p>Another wave of pain shot through John’s side. He let out a loud scream but that didn’t stop Lenny who hurriedly helped him climb Maggie and then sat in the saddle himself.</p><p>“Go, take him from there!” Javier ordered. He and Micah were still shooting at the army that must’ve stopped their charge for now.</p><p>Lenny shouted at Maggie to move and soon they were galloping through the forest, getting away from the fight. John clutched to the kid’s body, trying to stay in the saddle while the horse under them was jumping with every move.</p><p>The pain in John’s side was getting worse. It was ongoing now and ripping through his flesh like someone was twisting a knife between his ribs. John’s breath was hitching every time he skipped in the saddle. The bullet was probably still inside and every time he moved, it was moving as well, tearing his insides.</p><p>John tried to stop the bleeding but if anything, it felt like there was more blood than before. He moaned and pressed harder. The pain he felt then made his vision go white again for a second or two and his hold on Lenny and the wound weakened. Lenny grabbed him quickly with one hand, keeping him steady.</p><p>“Hold on, John, we’ll get you to the camp soon!” the kid promised, hurrying his horse.</p><p>John didn’t nod, didn’t even acknowledge Lenny’s words, he barely heard him through the ringing in his ears and the stabbing pain clouding his mind. His breaths were shallow as they could be and breathing still hurt despite that, pain crawling through his entire left side.</p><p>His body went slack against Lenny who said something to him again, probably that everything was going to be alright. He didn’t feel alright. He was shaking, which was only making the pain and bleeding worse, he was barely able to keep his eyes open but he tried, knowing it was important, and his breathing was rigged because he wasn't able to take a deep breath due to the horrible pain that he would feel then, that he was still feeling and it didn’t look like it was going to weaken anytime soon.</p><p>Instead, John was the one getting weaker. He couldn’t see clearly anymore, black spots danced in his visions, sometimes swallowed by white when the pain was becoming stronger whenever Maggie stumbled upon some dip in the road. The blood loss was too big too and it was making him sleepy. He couldn’t see it but he was probably pale as a ghost already.    </p><p>He wasn’t going to make it. And Arthur was clueless about any of this. He was expecting John to show up later that day or tomorrow, or any other day, not knowing John would never visit him again.  </p><p>John wanted to shield his friend from worrying about him getting hurt during the job but he only made it worse by not telling him he would be in danger today. Arthur would never know what happened to John, if he died or just left. He needed to tell him.</p><p>“Lenny,” he slurred. He felt like whenever he was really drunk, only he wouldn’t feel such pain then. Even the headache in the morning wasn't as bad as the one he was feeling right now. “You need to… Tell Arthur…”</p><p>“What are you talking about?” Lenny asked.</p><p>“Arthur,” he repeated. The merman deserved to know and Lenny was one of the few people John could trust, He only needed to tell him where to find Arthur and to not shoot him on sight. “Tell him what happened.”</p><p>Lenny grabbed his hand and wrapped it around his waist, clapping it lightly. “Don’t you worry, John, we won’t let you die.”</p><p>“Arthur,” he murmured again, determined to get the message to his friend. “Find…”</p><p>With a final groan, John lost consciousness, not being able to handle the pain anymore.  </p><hr/><p>John remembered the first time he got shot. He cried like a baby, convulsing in Hosea’s arms while Dutch patched the wound. It was the worst pain he ever experienced and it was only a scratch that didn’t break a bone or slashed any important vein.</p><p>But John’s fifteen year’s old body never knew such pain before. He was scared he was going to die, even though his fathers were assuring him he was going to be fine. He still had a scar from that time, a faint, white smudge on his right shoulder.</p><p>He remembered how gentle Dutch was while he cleaned the wound and then bandaged it. He remembered how Hosea was checking on it for the next few hours, making sure it wasn’t infected. He remembered the terrible taste of the medicine they gave him to sooth the pain. He remembered how Hosea brushed his tears away and put him to bed, feeling guilty for getting him shot.</p><p>He remembered Dutch telling him he did good and he was very brave.</p><p>Every other time was always easier, he knew already what to expect, even if the pain could differ depending where the bullet would hit you. Still, it wasn’t anything new for him, he was shot not so long ago in Blackwater. The scar of that wound was so fresh in fact it was still pink and he already had a new one to add to the collection.  </p><hr/><p>John fluttered his eyes open but couldn’t see anything, his vision was blurry and any noise was muffled by something but he wasn’t sure by what. He felt himself being moved but he knew he wasn't doing it on his own, he didn’t have any strength to do so. He tried to look around but his head dropped down like this of a ragged doll.</p><p>Then the pain returned. It burned in his side, around his ribs inside while the skin prickled on the outside. John groaned and not wanting to suffer again, he didn’t fight the loss of consciousness. </p><hr/><p>John couldn’t breathe. There was a rope around his neck and the gravity was tightening it. It shouldn’t look like it. He saw people being hanged, they were always dropped and in a second they were gone, the sickening snap of their spine louder that a cheering crowd.</p><p>Something went wrong when farmers hanged him on the tree and kicked the stool from under his feet. He wriggled, tugged at the rope but nothing was working. The noose was squeezing his pipes, cutting out all the airway, John's desperate gasp of breath only made farmers he had stolen from mocking him. Bunch of sickos.</p><p>He was starting to black out when he noticed a man a few feet behind the crowd. He didn’t look like one of them, he was dressed too good, his black hair slicked back with pomade, mustache trimmed neatly and his horse well cared for and groomed as much as him.</p><p>John watched with hope but the stranger looked away and rode off just as John blacked out as his left side throbbed.</p><hr/><p>He woke up with a cough and gulping the air. His hands shot to his throat to feel the rope or the burn of skin but nothing was there. His neck was clean but it still ached.</p><p>John looked around and noticed he wasn’t a child, he wasn’t even in Illinois anymore. He was at the bay in California, Arthur's bay but the merman was nowhere in sight.</p><p>Still having trouble breathing, John tried to get up but discovered he couldn’t, something was pinning him to the ground, something light but he felt so weak he couldn’t move it. So he laid there, looking at the sky and getting his breathing under control when he heard a splash. John raised his head and looked as Arthur emerged from the water, his tail sliding behind him as he crawled towards John, fangs out and black eyes, just like the first time they met.</p><p>And just like then, he was terrified again. It felt wrong, he shouldn’t be scared, Arthur was his friend but he looked different this time, his eyes… They were full of hunger and John’s heart was almost jumping out of his chest because of this terrifying sight straight from hell. He wanted to jump to his feet and run but he still couldn’t move even an inch when the merman reached him finally and crawled over his body, trapping him between himself and the ground.</p><p>Arthur smiled at him, a horrifying grin of sharp teeth stretching his lips in an almost unnatural manner. John began to shake and breath rapidly but he still couldn’t move, couldn’t say anything, he just stared into those black orbs till the merman slid down his body.</p><p>Arthur stopped at his left ribs and flashed John another monstrous smile before he sank his sharp teeth into John’s side, tearing out the piece of flesh.</p><p>He didn’t feel anything at first.</p><hr/><p>John screamed in pain.</p><p>His hands reached to the wound to press against it, stop the bleeding, ease the pain but they were grabbed and moved away. The pain continued, like a burning flame, both outside and inside a wound, as if something was sliding into his flesh and digging in.</p><p>Tongue, he thought. Arthur had a long tongue.</p><p>When the pain weakened slightly, John stopped screaming in agony and looked up, expecting to see Arthur’s face and bloody teeth. He wanted to ask why he did that, he promised not to, but all he saw was a blurred face. He heard someone calming him down.</p><p>“It’s alright, Mr. Marston, let us work.”</p><p>“Hold him, he’ll make the wound worse.”</p><p>“I don’t think he’s conscious.”</p><p>“He’s conscious enough to mess my work! I almost got the bullet out, hold him.”</p><p>“Get back to sleep, Mr. Marston. Here, it’ll help soothe the pain.”</p><p>John felt something prickling his arm and after some time, the pain changed into a dull throb and John blacked out again with a blissful feeling coating his brain.</p><hr/><p>John loved his horse like his own baby, if that’s how loving a baby felt like. He loved Old Boy, he loved every horse he had before and he was always sad when he had to say goodbye, either suddenly because his horse was shot or because it was getting too old and he had to sell it at some ranch where it would die from an old age.</p><p>Old Boy was still fairly young, if nothing would happen to him, John was going to have him for many years which he was happy about. The gelding wasn’t the fastest horse out there but he was loyal, strong and brave. As brave as a horse can be at least.</p><p>John would do anything for his horse but for now grooming him and taking care of him was enough. He spent his whole evening cleaning the hooves and brushing the coat from dust while Old Boy ate after almost all day of riding. It got dark before he was done but his horse looked pretty again, just like it should. Old Boy huffed, pleased and nudged John’s chest.</p><p>John chuckled and stroked the soft nose of a gelding before a voice interrupted him.</p><p>“Hey, Johnny Boy!” He turned to see Sean standing by the fire where the rest of the gang was gathered. “Stop petting your horse and join us!”</p><p>John smiled and after patting Old Boy one more time, he joined his friends, noticing something was off. Hesitantly, he sat down between Sean and Charles and looked around.</p><p>“Everything okay?” Sadie asked, looking at him amused.</p><p>No, he wanted to say. You shouldn’t be here. They were in Blackwater, Sadie wasn’t with them then. Mac, Davey and Jenny were still alive, Sean’s leg was good and Kieran was there too, sitting with Mary-Beth not so far away from the rest of them.</p><p>John almost wanted to ask what date it was but it was no use. No matter the date, some people shouldn’t be with them.</p><p>“Yeah,” he answered finally and sent Sadie a reassuring smile before looking ahead. His breath caught up in his throat when he looked into familiar, blue eyes. “Arthur,” he whispered and the merman heard, frowning at him in confusion.</p><p>No, not the merman. Arthur had legs like any other human. He was dressed in simple pants and shirt, the sleeves were rolled up but there was no trace of the tattoo on his left shoulder. There were no gills that John learned to see even when they were closed and when Arthur blinked at him, those were normal eyelids, not a black ones.</p><p>And he was smoking. Arthur the merman never smoked a cigarette in his life.</p><p>John didn’t understand any of this. He didn’t understand what Arthur was saying to him but the other man’s lips were moving.</p><p>“Uh… What?” he asked.</p><p>Arthur rolled his eyes. “I asked if you lost your brain in that heat today, Marston,” he repeated his question. “You’ve been riding without a hat.”</p><p>John reached to his head and noticed the hat wasn't there. He could’ve taken it off already, he was in a camp for a while but then he noticed it was on Arthur's head. And Arthur looked smug about it, like he was waiting for John to notice. Like the bastard he was.</p><p>John couldn’t help but tease. “And whose fault is that?”</p><p>Arthur chuckled and flashed John a playful smile. Just like with merman Arthur, John couldn’t help but smile back.</p><p>He wondered if this was how their other life looked like and if Arthur was a human in it.</p><hr/><p>John saw the roof of his tent when he woke up. He wasn’t happy with being awake and he didn’t know why it even happened. He tried to move but his fingers barely twitched under the blanket he was covered with. Breathing was painful but bearable, easy to ignore if he tried. He didn’t, he wanted to figure out what happened but he couldn’t remember anything, just that his side should be burning with pain but all he felt from there was a faint ache.</p><p>He moved his jaw, tried to say anything, call someone. Dutch, Hosea… Arthur. His mouth was too dry, his tongue too, speaking would hurt. So he remained silent, drummed his fingers against the bed to warm them up from their stiff feeling and stared at the roof of the tent till he fell asleep again.</p><hr/><p>John was cold. Something cold was wrapped around him like a snake but he felt warm nonetheless. In fact, his skin was burning even. His breath hitched when he was tugged closer towards something strong and solid. Hands. There were hands on his waist, they were everywhere, caressing his skin gently but with intent. They were cold but they were leaving a trail of heat behind them.</p><p>John’s eyes opened but his view was blocked by the mop of dirty blond hair. He lifted his hand to it, feeling how soft it was. He couldn’t help but tangle his fingers in it and he heard a purr in response.</p><p>John’s heart skipped a bit when he recognized the voice, even in the purr. Suddenly he was feeling soft lips on his neck, kissing him there, just as gently as the hands that were now on his ribs, tickling and for some reason, causing some pain on the left side.</p><p>John hissed, the lips were gone from his neck and now he was staring into Arthur’s blue eyes.</p><p>“Sorry, darling,” he drawled, a wide smile stretching his lips, showing his yellowish, completely human teeth. “Did I scratch you?”</p><p>Scratch…</p><p>John looked down at the hands on his ribs and the sharp claws at the end of each finger. He looked further, at the long, blue tail laying on his naked legs and stretching even further on the sand they were laying on.</p><p>John shifted slightly, feeling the grains of it under his back that was protected only by the material of the shirt that he wasn’t even dressed with, it was just laying under him. He was naked and out of breath, and content, and he <em> needed </em>.</p><p>“No,” he answered, his voice raspy. He licked his lips and Arthur followed the movement with his eyes, grinning even wider. John held his breath, in awe of the merman’s beautiful smile.</p><p>John didn’t stop him when Arthur leaned down and kissed him. He moaned into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Arthur's wide shoulder, no questions asked, just enjoying how the merman’s body felt against his naked skin, how the sharp claws gently scratched his chest.</p><p>John gave his own scratch in return, not caring about being careful because his blunt nails could do no harm to the merman’s back. Arthur shivered in his hold and kissed John harder, his long tongue asking for entrance. John gave it to him and they both grunted, their bodies grinding together, John’s cock hardening, muscles tensing in anticipation as the ecstasy rushed through him, making him dizzy.</p><p>Falling against the sand with Arthur pinning him to the ground with his heavy and muscled body, John let himself be consumed by pleasure.  </p><hr/><p>It felt right was his first thought when he woke up, hearing voices outside his tent. They were hushed but not enough.  </p><p>“Will he be okay?”</p><p>Dutch.</p><p>“He lost some blood but the boys got him to the camp quickly so he should be okay once he rests.”</p><p>Reverend.</p><p>John turned his head to the direction their voices were coming from.</p><p>“Shouldn’t have let them do this. It’s a goddamn army.”</p><p>“It’s not your fault.”</p><p>Hosea.</p><p>“He came up with this job to prove himself to me.”</p><p>“He would’ve done it anyway. You know John, he’s ambitious. And according to the boys everything went fine, John only got hurt because he stayed to make sure everyone else was okay.”</p><p>“Yes, I'm proud of him for that one. He did good.”</p><p>“And he’ll do good now too. He’ll be fine. This boy is too stubborn to die now.”</p><p>“I hope you’re right, friend.”</p><p>John closed his eyes and was out again in a few seconds. ‘It felt right’ once again ringing in his head.</p><hr/><p>John was underwater, he knew that by the way his limbs weren't moving as easily as they should. Somehow he wasn’t drowning or dropping to the bottom, he was just hanging in the middle of an endless ocean.</p><p>Instead of panicking, John looked around, seeing everything perfectly because of the light shining beautifully through the surface above. He noticed the wall of rocks all around him, surrounding him like a cage. The bay, he was in the deeper part of the bay.</p><p>He looked down. The bottom was terrifying, he couldn’t see it and it was becoming darker the further it went. He didn’t remember much when he was drowning here that one day, he certainly didn’t look down, only up where he tried to reach the surface but he was sure the bay wasn't that deep, not so close to the coast.</p><p>Was he drowning still? Was it all hallucinations of a dying man?</p><p>Not being able to see the bottom was making him nervous so he looked forward. The rocks seemed to be farther away than before and there was some movement there.  </p><p>It was Arthur in the distance, swimming elegantly through the water unlike John who could barely move, as if his limbs were made of lead. Even if he could swim, there was no way he would be able to get out of the water on his own.</p><p>Arthur would pull him to the surface, just like he did once already.</p><p>But the merman wasn't swimming into his direction, he was moving away. John kicked with his legs and waved hands to swim, he didn’t know how but he tried and failed miserably. Arthur was barely a dot now and was only getting smaller. He was leaving the bay and John couldn’t help but feel like it was for forever.  </p><p>Why would he stay if his only friend left him without a word?</p><p>Arthur slipped between the gap in the rocks and disappeared. John tried to shout and call him but when he opened his mouth, the water rushed in and filled his lungs. He started thrashing in panic, trying to reach the surface but there was no use, he couldn’t swim, he was drowning and Arthur wouldn’t help him again.</p><p>Black dots appeared in his vision, there was more and more showing up while he helplessly fought with the water surrounding him, not carying about the pain he was feeling in his side. He didn’t stand a chance in a long run and soon all he could see was black as his body drifted in the water.</p><hr/><p>John woke up with a gasp. He tried to move and sit up but his muscles protested and the pain shot through his side, getting the thoughts of sitting up out of his head. He quickly got his hand there when he felt the burning but he barely touched his ribs when his palm was withdrawn.</p><p>“Hey, easy there, John.”</p><p>Through tears of pain in his eyes, John looked at Lenny who had a worried expression on his face. John gazed around, noticing he was in his tent, a lantern was casting some light and Lenny was sitting on a chair near his bed, a book opened in his lap but the moment he looked at it, it slipped to the ground with a thud. Lenny didn’t react.</p><p>John’s throat was dry and lips uncomfortable while speaking but he rasped out one word. “Arthur.” Arthur needed to know John didn’t leave him, that he would return and there was no need of leaving.</p><p>“Hey, John, look at me,” Lenny asked. John did that and the kid watched him carefully, biting his lower lip in concern. “I should get the Reverend.”</p><p>Lenny was going to stand up and leave but John wrapped his fingers around the kid’s thin wrist, surprised how much strength he found in himself to do that. And how fast he was.</p><p>“You need to find Arthur,” John told him carefully, hoping he wasn’t slurring the words. They sounded fine in his head but he couldn’t be sure. “Tell him-” The groan of pain stopped him mid sentence. “Tell him what happened.”</p><p>Lenny frowned in confusion and turned to face John completely.</p><p>“Arthur?” he asked. “Who’s Arthur?”</p><p>John had to think about it, he had trouble with concentration and he felt exhausted, his previously strong grip slipping till he released his friend’s wrist completely.</p><p>“He’s…” <em>a merman, funny, kind, a great artist, my friend</em>. “He’s beautiful,” he whispered, tired out.</p><p>John managed to see Lenny’s dumbfounded face before he returned to deep sleep once more.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>That's a great description, John, I'm sure Lenny can find Arthur now :) I know Arthur is extraordinarily beautiful, but give the boy some more clues!</p><p>Poor baby. Send him get well soon cards to make him feel better.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Missed You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>John was feeling a twinge of pain in his left side every time he was lifting his hand to brush Old Boy’s neck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The shot wound was healing good, it wasn’t that bad in the first place. It hurt like hell but because of the distance the lucky soldier was shooting from, it didn’t go very deep. It didn’t get infected either. It’s the location that was problematic, the bullet was stuck between two ribs so every breath was twisting it and even later, when the bullet was out, the canal it left behind was causing problems with breathing too. He only felt somehow better when he was laying down, that’s why he spent most of his recovery in bed. That and Grimshaw didn’t want him to pull out the stitches. She wanted him to wait till the wound was healed a little first.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After the first two days, he already felt good enough to get up but Susan(and Swanson backing her up) forced him to stay in bed. She actually pushed him to keep him still. Normally that wouldn’t have been the problem, he could’ve always shoved her away but despite feeling better, he couldn’t lie that he wasn't feeling weak. With how little strength he had left after two days of being unconscious practically all the time, losing some blood and with morphine running through his veins, even Jack would’ve been able to keep him in bed with no problems.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So John stayed in bed despite wanting nothing more than to ride his horse, even bareback, and go to the bay and see Arthur. The merman must’ve been so worried all this time. Maybe not after one day, but after two? John had no way to inform him what was going on and with each day, he was getting more antsy about their separation. He not only wanted to see Arthur again, he needed to see him. To assure him everything was fine and just because he missed him. So much.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sometimes he had no idea if the pain he felt was because of the wound or because of the longing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His friends tried to keep him company while he was stuck in bed, some more than once. Micah visited only once, John thanked him for saving his ass. Bell looked very smug about it and didn’t miss the opportunity to rub it in in John’s face but John wasn't even angry at him for that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He thanked Javier as well when he came to visit too. Unlike with Micah, who left the moment he didn’t get more compliments, Javier stayed for a little longer and chatted with John. Others did the same when it was their time, everyone stayed for shorter or longer chat. Once Tilly even brought dominos so he could play since he couldn’t do much more in bed than sleep and read. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Whenever other girls were visiting, they often brought their work with them so Grimshaw couldn’t scream at them for lazing around and gossiping with a hurt man. Sometimes John fell asleep on them, lulled by their happy chatter. And by the laudanum that Susan was making him drink in big gulps.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Good stuff.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Hosea visited, they drew together but John refused to show his drawings after, saying they weren’t good because his hand was shaking too much and he was just doodling to pass the time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was drawing Arthur and he didn’t want Hosea to know about that. Or ask questions why his son was drawing a merman in his journal. John liked to look at those drawings before sleep. He hoped it would make him miss the merman less but it only made the longing worse. But that didn’t make him stop.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dutch congratulated him for the job when he visited for the first time. They talked for a while, mostly about the job and what John could remember – not much after getting shot and being taken by Lenny, everything was a blank space in his brain from then. While getting out, Dutch looked straight at him and with a warm smile he said “I'm proud of you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John’s heart fluttered and he fell asleep a couple of minutes later, smiling and not thinking of Arthur for once.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sean didn’t miss the visit and he used it to make fun of John, saying getting shot was a punishment for getting him shot. John only smiled at him but on the inside, he cringed. He thought his friend wasn't blaming him. Sean quickly made him forget about that when he started babbling and cursing at Micah who was apparently annoying everyone by gloating about how he saved John ‘Golden Boy’ Marston himself. John was glad he was stuck in his tent and didn’t have to listen to this. Punching a person that saved you wasn't the right thing to do.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Others like Sadie, Charles, Bill and Uncle visited too, the first two everyday and were staying a little longer than the rest and Uncle brought whisky, for which John was very grateful and drank half of the thing in one go. The pain was very strong that day. Even Strauss came once. Jack and Abigail too, the boy brought a drawing of himself and John from one day he took the kid fishing to teach him that. Molly showed up once or two times as well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lenny’s visits were the longest because apparently he felt guilty for all this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How so?” John asked. It was day four of laying in bed, he was getting sick of it but Susan didn’t want to hear anything about letting him walk.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It's just…” The kid struggled with words while he sat on a stool next to John's bed. Lenny sighed with frustration. “I found the job!” he said finally, avoiding John’s eyes. John had to grab his hand and squeeze it to make the boy look at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” he started softly, making sure first he really had Lenny’s attention. “You didn’t shoot me yourself, okay? You did good, the plan was doing great, we didn’t know that the reinforcements were so close. And you saved me, so you’re good. Okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, okay,” Lenny agreed but he didn’t sound convinced. He would get there, John thought, smiling at him before asking to bring that book they were reading before the robbery. Lenny laughed, a cheerful, honest laugh and he quickly went to retrieve the book and they spent an hour reading together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>On day five, John was finally allowed to leave the tent. He thought he would finally be able to go see Arthur but before he could even try, Susan reminded him he could leave the bed, not the camp. He left it anyway, to wash himself in the small lake nearby because he was stinking too much even for his nose to handle. He didn’t even try to run, walking was causing some problem and without a horse he wouldn’t be able to reach the bay. He wasn’t even sure if he would be able to climb a horse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The wound was healing nicely but it was still fresh and tender, stinging under the bandage whenever he moved wrong. So no matter how much he wanted to go, he had to stay and let himself heal. He was sure Arthur would want that as well but that didn’t make John worry less about the merman and how he was handling the loneliness. He hoped Arthur hadn't left. He didn’t know from where that worry came from but he was actually worried that Arthur would leave the bay forever and they would never meet again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>On day six, he was feeling better, the wound hurt less and it looked good when Swanson was changing his bandages and putting some lotion on the stitches.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A week or two and we can get them off you, Mr. Marston,” he said when he gently patted the covered wound after finishing the examination.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John smiled and thanked him. He already couldn’t wait for the opportunity to leave.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>On day seven, he was losing his mind. He was feeling great, he almost didn’t feel the wound anymore and he was tired of sitting on his ass doing nothing because Susan forbade him doing any hard work. He had his friends and they spent the previous night drinking to celebrate the successful robbery and John’s survival but he couldn’t fully enjoy it or his friends’ company when he was so worried.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It had been a week and Arthur was still clueless about everything. For all the merman knew, John just left him. Or died. Maybe he was even fearing the more people were coming to catch him and imprison him. Or even kill him. He had no idea what was going on and he had no way of finding out because he couldn’t go on land. And even if he could, nobody would help him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John needed to go to him and explain his absence, ease his own and Arthur’s worry. That is, if Arthur was worried. Maybe he wasn't, maybe that was just John’s wishful thinking and the merman didn’t care as much as John wanted him too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had those doubts sometimes but he was always dismissing them very quickly, remembering the smile on Arthur's face when he called him his friend. There was no way that wasn’t genuine. Arthur was definitely worried and as much as John didn’t want his friend suffering, he couldn’t help but feel happy that his feeling of longing was most likely returned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was day eight now, morning. John already had breakfast, he washed in the lake and he was brushing Old Boy to make the time go faster but it was still going too slow for his taste. No matter what he tried to do here, nothing held his interest for long. He was happy to spend the time with his friends but that wasn't the same as spending time with Arthur, which was what he really wanted to do but still can’t. He didn’t talk to Grimshaw yet but he was very tempted to do so.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Usually he had no problem finding something to do in the camp, even with possibilities narrowed down because of his wound. He couldn’t chop wood or do any other hard work but he could help Pearson with food, or girls with sewing, assist Jack with teaching him how to read or simply play poker with others or chess with Dutch. Or just talk with them. There was plenty to do, lots of books to read, so many empty pages in his journal to fill, plenty of trees to lean against and nap.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tried it all but it did nothing to keep him entertained. It would work for a few minutes and then his thoughts would get back to Arthur. He wasn't even going to lie to himself, he didn’t want to be here, he didn’t want that even before he was stuck in the camp. He didn’t want to spend more time with his friends than a short few minutes during breakfast in the morning before going to visit Arthur for the rest of the day. He felt bad about it, but it was true and there was no point in denying it. He loved his friends, his family, it was all he had ever known but they weren't what he wanted right now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wanted Arthur, now more than ever because of the current circumstances but he couldn’t go and he was mad and scared, and worried, because he was here and Arthur was there and they weren't together and had no idea what was happening with his friend. John could only look towards the west and hope Arthur was okay, that he wasn't worried much(though if he was worried as much as John, the merman was very much worried) and they would see each other soon.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Go.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John blinked surprised and turned to Susan who sneaked up to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh?” he responded dumbly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Susan rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, nodding at Old Boy. “Go,” she repeated. So John heard her correctly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Go where?” he asked, his heart beating faster with excitement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t play dumb with me, boy,” she scolded him with a stern look. “Don’t think I didn’t see you packing your saddlebags in secret.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John blushed. He thought he was being discreet, he even sneaked everything in his satchel but apparently nothing could escape Susan’s attention. It was her camp after all, she knew everything that was going on here.   </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still, he decided to play dumb as Grimshaw put it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without surprise, she stopped him, raising her hand and silencing him this way. “You were going to sneak out of the camp, don’t even deny it,” she told him. John opened his mouth, wanting to protest. He was going to ask first and if he would get the answer he didn’t want to hear, only then he was going to escape, but that would confirm Susan’s words anyway so he shut his mouth and listened. “Wherever you need to go, go. Just be careful about your stitches.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn’t believe she was letting him leave the camp. For the last week she was extremely overprotective of him and she had no intention of slowing down. She even said it to him two days ago.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought you wanted to hold me here for another week,” John reminded her.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She claimed it was just to be sure. While the wound wasn't as life-threatening as the loss of blood he suffered and John certainly wasn't in any danger anymore, or feeling pain that would cause problems, he still wasn't sustainable for hard work. So Susan wanted him to stay in the camp so she could keep an eye on him and make sure he wasn't doing anything that would mess up the stitches. They were in a place even an innocent bending down could pull one or two, causing another bleeding. Not as bad as the one after John got shot, but still bad. That would only make the recovery longer, which would mean staying in the camp longer, which Susan wanted to avoid.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John wanted to avoid that either. He was already anxious to leave and spent too much time here while Arthur was worrying at his bay. He needed to finally go to him, even if it was risky and could grant him another few days stuck in the camp. But what other choice did he have? Sure, he could wait a little longer like Susan wanted, make sure he was fully healed before visiting the merman again but that would be a torture for both of them. Even if he would mess up the stitches today at least this time Arthur would know why John wouldn’t visit him for a while. So he had to go even if to tell him he still needed a few more days to recover. Arthur deserved to know that instead of dying from worry. And John needed to see him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Surely a short ride and a civil conversation with a friend wouldn’t harm him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I did but I didn’t know you would be this irritating, boy,” she complained and John couldn’t help but grin. “All you do all day is sit, uninterested in whatever everyone else is trying to engage you. You stare longingly at nothing, hide in your tent or get under everyone’s feet by not being able to sit still. I have enough of your moping and I'm pretty sure everyone else thinks the same. Whenever you sit with someone you look like you’re being punished. So stop running around like fart and get the hell out of my camp before I kick you out myself!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John had no idea his bad mood was this obvious that everyone could see it. He was torn between being embarrassed about it and grinning in triumph, because while he acted like a jackass and he felt bad about it, it made Susan let him leave the camp earlier than she planned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You sure?” he asked. If this was a joke…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t make me change my mind, Mr. Marston.” Grinning even wider and buzzing with excitement, John jumped to Susan and leaned down, kissing both of her cheeks. “Oh,” she gasped, surprised and giggled.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you,” he said, grasping her small hands in his. He kissed those too before rushing to his tent for the last few things he needed to get.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No running, you’ll pull out your stitches!” Susan yelled after him but John ignored her this time, he was late already. Eight days late.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He packed his journal in the satchel, picked up his hat and ran out of his tent after just a few seconds, almost bumping into Charles.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whoa, you okay?” the man asked, steading them both.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I'm fine,” he said, gritting his teeth a little because Charles unintentionally put his hand on the wound. It still sting a lot when touched but that was nothing John couldn’t handle. “I'm going out.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Finally, huh?” Charles smiled at him knowingly. “Must’ve been a tough week for you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, sorry about acting like an ass,” John apologized. Charles was one of people that tried to make his forced stay in the camp bearable but he was also one of people that had to put up with his sour mood and cold shoulder this whole time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s fine, we understand we weren’t the desired company,” Charles assured him. John blushed. “Go wherever you need to be.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John didn’t deserve such an understanding friend.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks, Charles.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before getting his saddle, John went for a set of bandages just in case and a small bottle of laudanum if the pain would increase after the ride. Old Boy, who Micah got during his and Javier’s escape from the army, not leaving the horse behind, was as tired of being in the camp as his rider. They were both agitated to leave and it showed. The gelding walked in place and huffed loudly while John simply hurried with the saddling but not being sloppy with it. He didn’t want to hurt himself or his horse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When everything was finally ready, John was close to exploding with excitement. Wincing with pain, he climbed Old Boyin a hurry and let him trot out of the camp. John could feel the eyes of his friends following his departure but he didn’t care, nothing really mattered now but to get to the bay as fast as possible.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once Old Boy was warmed up enough, John made him go faster and soon they were galloping. He lifted himself above the saddle to take some pressure from Old Boy’s back. Even at this speed, they were going to slow too John but that was the fastest Old Boy could run. They had to slow down when they reached the forest anyway. John was frustrated because of that, the ride to the edge of the cliff was stretching like never before and it felt like eternity before they reached it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He quickly jumped to the ground, hissing in pain when his side protested at the sudden move. He checked if he was dumb enough to already reopen the wound but thankfully no blood appeared on the bandage so he was good.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After hiding the saddle, John left Old Boy to his own and hurriedly began walking down the path to the bay, almost slipping one time. He fully expected to spot Arthur immediately but the merman was nowhere to be seen. John ignored the twinge of disappointment, too occupied with fear that settled in his chest. He tried to calm himself, Arthur wasn't stuck in the bay like John was in the camp for the past week, there was no reason for him to be there all the time, maybe he was swimming somewhere in the ocean, visiting his colony, though John didn’t know why would he do that, he had no family there. The point was, Arthur didn’t have to be gone forever.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The unsettling feeling in his stomach didn’t settle even for a moment, it actually became worse when his feet touched the golden sand at the edge of the water. John stepped onto the rock belt and walked towards the middle, figuring out that Arthur would be able to see him there if he was swimming in the open ocean.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The waves were calm and barely licked his boots while he walked. He looked back at the chest under the cliff, it was on the sand, open, recently used. So Arthur was here. Or just left his stuff because he had no way to take it with him to the ocean.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After shaking himself from the pessimistic thought, John continued his walk till he reached the middle, just like the first time he was here. John looked towards the ocean but he didn’t see anything but waves on the small spot that was visible to him through the rocks. He had no luck with the water of the bay either, it was dark as always and looking into it, not seeing the bottom, made him shiver.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Arthur!” he shouted loudly, wanting to be louder than the ocean itself. “Arthur, are you there?!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was no answer but if Arthur was underwater, there was no saying he could hear John. It didn’t matter because John wasn't going to move from here. He would wait all day and even night if he had to, Arthur would have to get back eventually.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John turned around carefully and jumped down off the rock belt, splashing the bright water in there. He took a few steps towards the beach under the cliff and the chest there when he heard another splash behind him and it was so familiar he whirled around quickly, coming face to face with his friend.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Arthur,” he breathed with relief and smiled at the sight of him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The merman didn’t answer or returned the smile, he just stared in disbelief, blinking away his black eyelids. John’s smile grew when he saw those pretty blue eyes again. God, he missed even those.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was worrying him that Arthur was quiet, for a moment he even thought it was a dream or hallucination, he couldn’t tell if it wasn't but then the merman moved, sliding off the rocks and crawling towards John, uncertain.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John watched him, afraid to make his own move, even if every fiber in his body longed to short the distance between them, but he was scared that if he would even stir, Arthur would disappear, or run away like a scared animal. So he stayed still and the merman stopped in front of him, still shocked, still not believing what he was seeing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>God, how long this week must’ve been for him, John thought to himself before he was knocked off his feet when Arthur launched himself at him. John yelped as they crashed into the water, which was too shallow to take some of the impact. His back collided with the sand and it hurt but he didn’t mind, too preoccupied with wrapping his arms around Arthur just as Arthur wrapped his around him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They cling to each other desperately with no space between their bodies. Arthur’s cold nose made a contact with John’s skin on his neck, making him shiver. Or maybe it was the relief of being reunited with the merman again. He didn’t know and didn’t care, he just hugged the cold body tighter, feeling both of their hearts beating rapidly in their chest, almost in the same rhythm.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The position seemed weirdly familiar for a moment, John realized, splaying his palms on Arthur’s wide back and feeling how tense he was. The merman hid his face in the hollow of his neck and breathed deep with relief. They laid like this for a while. It surely wasn't bothering Arthur but to John’s surprise, the fact he was in the water and his clothes were already soaked wasn't bothering him either. The feeling of Arthur's arms around him, how tight he was hugging John, was enough to distract him. He closed his eyes and simply enjoyed their closeness after a week of being refused of it.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It felt amazing to be this close and his heart was nearly bursting with joy. John almost wanted to never let go, not that either of them planned to do so right now. They were content like this and while Arthur was still a little tense, John felt the stress and worries of the last week leaving his own body. There was no other place on earth he wanted to be right now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought you abandoned me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur said those words so quietly John wasn’t sure he heard them in the first place. But when Arthur tensed, apparently not hearing the answer, John realized he heard right and his heart broke at the distress in the merman’s voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Never,” he assured, squeezing his friend tighter. “I'm sorry I didn’t come earlier but I got shot and…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shot?” Arthur lifted himself on his hands to look at him in horror, unfortunately using John's body as a support instead of the ground. His palm landed right next to the wound that was already burning with all the sea salt getting into it through bandages. John moaned in pain and Arthur quickly scrambled away from him, watching how John sat up holding himself by the wound.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, you just found where,” John chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. Arthur was terrified, his big eyes moved to the wound.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I'm sorry,” he explained quickly. “I hurt you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s fine, you couldn’t know,” he assured the merman, wanting him to not feel guilty about this but he could already see it wasn’t working. Arthur crawled closer hesitantly as John lifted his shirt to look at the wound. He grimaced when he noticed the blood already soaking through the bandage. Susan was going to kill him. “I need to change the bandages. And clean the wound from the salt water.” In that moment he realized he wasn’t as prepared for the trip as he thought he was. He forgot the fresh water. Shit. “You don’t have any whisky stored around, do you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur shook his head, not even looking at John but at his wound and the blood. “Why would you need that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“To clean the wound,” he replied, pulling down the shirt. Arthur looked at him again, a worry expression on his face. “I don’t have any water so the alcohol is the next best thing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur was thinking about something for a few seconds.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait here,” he said eventually, already crawling back towards the rock belt. “Go for the bandages and take off your shirt.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Where are you going?!” John shouted after him, a little unwilling to lose Arthur from his sight when he only just saw him again for the first time in a week. He knew Arthur would be back but the thought of waiting for him still seemed like an agony.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“To get something.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John raised his hands in disbelief and dropped them suddenly. Bad idea, he hit the wound but he deserved that for being such a fool. Grunting, he struggled to get up with one hand on his side while he used the other to lift himself from the ground. He was dripping with water so once he reached the sand, he slipped the suspenders from his shoulders and took off his shirt, wincing when the pain only got worse. Pants, while wet as well, he left alone, they would dry quickly, even on his ass. He only took off his boots and barefoot, he climbed up to the cliff to get the bandages.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he returned, Arthur wasn’t back yet. John walked to their usual spot, noticing the place for the fire wasn’t used for the last week. Not that he was surprised, Arthur couldn’t light a fire as far as John knew, unless he learned watching John(still no matches). So it wasn’t shocking but it was still wrong that no fire burned here for a while or no weird food from the depth of the ocean was cooked over it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John didn’t realize how he would miss sitting by the fire like that, just enjoying the silence or talking with Arthur, especially during late evening before returning to camp.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Susan didn’t tell him when to return to camp today but even if she did, John would still stay as long as possible to once again spend the evening with Arthur, with the fire as their only source of light and neither of them willing to say goodbye for the day.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John sat by the burned out campfire and carefully unwrapped the bandages from around his side. He just revealed the skin when Arthur showed up, using only one hand to climb the rocks, the other clenched tightly around something.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Waiting for the merman to get to him, John checked the stitches, breathing a sigh of relief when he noticed they were intact still. But the wound was bleeding a little and pulsing with pain. John reached towards his satchel and pulled out a bottle of laudanum, taking a few sips for the pain just as Arthur crawled onto the sand and sat next to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How are you still alive?” the merman asked, placing two different plants on the sand before looking at the wound.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” John answered, confused. “I mean, I was a little close to dying…” He regretted saying this when he saw the terrified expression on Arthur's face. “But the wound wasn’t so bad.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But you got shot,” Arthur reminded him, taking one of the plants and rolling it between his hands. The plan began to drip with some greenish juice that coated the merman’s hands. “Them guns of yours kill with one shot.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They can kill with one shot, they don’t have to,” John explained to him, watching as Arthur spread the whole juice over his palms, making sure they were fully covered with it. “It depends when you hit. Shot to the head? You’re dead. Foot or hand? Well, you can still die from infection but certainly not from the shot itself.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Still don’t like them,” the merman admitted and nodded with his head. “Show me the wound.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you going to do?” John asked, curious, but trusting his friend. He leaned to the side, propping himself on one arm and taking the other out of the way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur shifted closer, picking up the plant he used to coat his hands with. It was some sort of seaweed but John didn’t know what exactly it was. He wasn’t that familiar with ocean’s vegetation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Clean your wound,” he answered and holding the plan above the wound, he squeezed it. The greenish juice dripped on the wound, making John twitch because of how cold it was. It didn’t hurt, if anything, it soothed the pain and John found himself sighing while Arthur continued working. “We use it all the time underwater. It’s the most common healing plant for us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Never heard of it,” John admitted. The juice mixed with red and the fluid now slipping down his side was yellow in color. He hoped it wouldn’t stain his pants.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Probably because it grows quite deep and as far as I know, no human can dive that far,” Arthur noticed with a chuckle. He seemed more relaxed now that he was sure John wasn’t close to dying and because he returned. “It’s very effective, no wound would get infected after you use it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You need to bring me more of those,” John suggested as a joke but Arthur suddenly lifted his head and looked at him seriously.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You gonna get hurt more often?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When the plant was dried up, Arthur threw it away into the water.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not if I can help it,” John answered and bit his lower lip when Arthur gently patted the stitches, making sure the juice reached everywhere. The wound was clean now, the bleeding stopped but the skin around was still red with swelling.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How did you get shot anyway?” Arthur wanted to know.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John shrugged. “Bad luck I guess.” In a way it was a mistake that he didn’t check how far soldiers from the fort would be waiting for the stagecoach, but he still could’ve escaped without a scratch if that one soldier didn’t get his one in a lifetime shot. “We had a robbery a week ago. I was going to visit after it would’ve been done but obviously it didn’t work.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was waiting for you the whole day,” Arthur admitted, looking down. “I wasn’t that worried, you have your life on land, I thought you were spending time with your gang. But when you didn’t show up the next day, I started having the worst kinds of thoughts. I thought you died or left and I couldn’t really decide what was the worst scenario.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That was exactly what John was afraid would happen and he felt horrible for leaving that day without warning Arthur what he was about to do. He would’ve still been worried, not knowing if John survived the robbery, but he wouldn’t have to wonder if he was betrayed just a day after John called him a friend and if it was something he did that made John leave. No wonder he didn’t know what was worse. Or that he had troubles to believe John returned when he never expected him to return.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It hurt a lot that Arthur thought John could just leave him like that, especially after what happened between them the last time but he couldn’t blame him when John didn’t show up for days. It’s hard to stop your own brain from worrying about everything then. John went through it himself after all and his worry didn’t even match that of Arthur. At least he didn’t have to worry if his friend was still alive or if he left without a word.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I'm sorry,” John said, ashamed of his behavior. He was a fool thinking he was protecting Arthur when all he did was cause more pain. He should’ve known better than to assume everything would be fine and there was no reason to worry the merman. “I should’ve told you I won’t be coming in the morning and what I was going to do but I didn’t want to worry you by telling you I’ll be in danger.” John chuckled nervously. “Guess it didn’t work out, huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To his surprise, Arthur chuckled back. “No, it didn’t,” the merman agreed and smiled softly at him. John had a feeling he was forgiven. “But I’m glad you’re okay. And that you didn’t leave.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re my friend, I wouldn’t leave without a goodbye,” John assured him. Calling him a friend again made the merman grin. Or maybe it was the promise of never leaving without a word. “So If I don’t show up without a warning, you can assume I’m hurt or dead.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just tell me when you’re going to rob people again,” Arthur asked, picking up the other plant. He tore it a little and a clear, dense liquid appeared around the edges. “You’re my friend,” he repeated John’s previous words that made a warmth spread through his chest, curling around his fast beating heart. “I’ll worry about you anyway so you may as well tell me when you’ll be doing something dangerous.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I promise I’ll tell you about anything,” John swore, looking Arthur deep into his eyes. The merman looked back. “No lies?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur smiled but it felt strange somehow. “No lies,” he agreed, avoiding John's gaze at the last moment, right before he stopped talking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John frowned at him confused, wanting to ask what was going on, but before he could the merman told him to show him the wound again. So he did and watched as Arthur crumbled the leaf in his palm and brought it to the wound, using it as a sponge to apply the clear liquid.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just like the last time it didn’t hurt. The liquid was cool and soothing on John's skin, who watched, captivated how gentle Arthur was being. He never pressed the leaf too hard and made sure all the wound was covered with the liquid. When he tossed it aside, John was sure that was all but then Arthur’s hand returned and using his fingers with those deadly claws, he delicately spread the liquid around the wound as well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John’s breath hitched when those cold fingers touched his warm skin with care, making his skin tingle everywhere they came with contact with it. John followed their movement, not even for a moment afraid that the claws would hurt him or cut the stitches. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked up at the merman, at the focus on his face and the concertation in his eyes. He knew exactly what he was doing and he was being very careful to not hurt John accidently like he already did and probably still felt guilty about it. John watched with endearment and he was glad Arthur didn’t even notice because John wasn't sure he would be able to stop looking so captivated by the merman’s ministrations. Or explain his staring.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Arthur suddenly looked up at him, John got startled and he jerked back sharply as if he was hit. The merman watched him confused.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I told you to pass me the bandage,” he said, apparently not for the first time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John blushed and cleared his throat awkwardly. “Yeah, sure,” he answered, not happy with how rough his voice still sounded. Why was his throat so dry? “Of course.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur snickered and John blushed harder. He reached for the bandaged in his satchel and passed it to Arthur, their fingers brushing. John felt a spark of electricity and he stopped breathing for a moment while his heart pounded in his chest, desperate to break through the sternum.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If Arthur noticed anything or felt the same thing, he didn’t comment or react. The focus was back on his face. As if he wasn't doing it the first time in his life, he unrolled the bandage and started skillfully wrapping it around John’s ribs and the wound that didn’t look that swelled anymore.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John tried to look anywhere but at him, not wanting to make a fool of himself again. It worked, to some extent, because he couldn’t hide the way his breath twitched every time those gentle hands were touching his naked skin to keep him steady and make sure the bandage was wrapped securely. He was sure Arthur thought something was wrong with his lungs by the time he was finished with bandaging the wound.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dropping his hands where he kept them high, John finally looked back at Arthur when he was handed back the rest of the roll of bandage that was left.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you,” he said to the merman who smiled at him. He seemed obvious to John’s strange behavior which should’ve helped him relax a little but his heart still hadn’t had enough for some reason.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re welcome,” the merman replied and turned to clean his hands from the first plant. It looked like he was ready to dry them on John’s clothes like always but after turning back he remembered John was without a shirt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur huffed quietly and put his hands in his laps, stilling suddenly. John watched him concerned before realizing the merman was staring at his chest. Suddenly well aware he had no shirt, John blushed and became self-conscious about his half nakedness.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was used to Arthur not covering his chest but not to himself being naked like that. Privacy wasn’t something that was present in the gang but even in their camps no man walked around with their chest naked. Being nude was only acceptable while bathing, not casually sitting next to your friend. If they were on the street right now, they would scandalize everyone there and probably get arrested. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Having his chest naked wasn't even that bad, he just sat for a few minutes like that when Arthur was dressing the wound and John felt fine. Only when the staring started it really became awkward because he had no clue why Arthur would stare at him so intensely.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John felt himself blushing and he was sure that if he looked down, he would see the blush on his chest as well, when suddenly Arthur reached a hand towards him and gently poked his chest with his finger. John shivered and gaped at the merman, ready to ask if he was examining the human body again but Arthur was faster.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s this scar from?” he asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John opened his mouth to answer but stopped himself, feeling ridiculous with the whole situation. He wanted to laugh at himself for making a big deal out of Arthur just staring at one of his many scars.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s um…” he started nervously. “It’s from the knife. A fight in the saloon, one fella nicked me. I nicked him harder.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur chuckled, brushing the scar with the tip of his finger. He tried to keep the claw away from the skin but it still followed, gently scratching the skin there. John felt goosebumps appearing on his forearms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John hadn’t even realized he was holding his breath until Arthur took back his hand to point some scar on his own body, three lines under his right arm. “From another merman. I bumped into him and even tho I apologized he still wanted to fight. So we fought. He left me scars there, his wounds didn’t even have time to scar.”   </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John looked closer at the scars. They were definitely left by the claws and were deep before they became what they were now. He decided it was okay to touch them just like Arthur touched his so he gently connected his fingers with the first scar, feeling how smooth it was and how the skin tingled under his touch. Not hearing any protest, he touched all three of them, following the direction of the strike.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why did he attack you there?” he asked, imagining how it must’ve hurt. Probably as much as being scratched by a wolf. He shuddered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was pinning him to the bottom of the ocean floor, he tried to free himself,” Arthur explained, lowering his hand when John felt satisfied with his examination. “I tore his throat before he could.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“With teeth and all?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur grinned, unsheathing his fangs. It was surreal how fast they could grow from his gums. The merman could look innocent and friendly one moment only to look like a beast from nightmares the other.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“With teeth and all.” Fangs disappeared in a second. “We don’t have guns to deal with assholes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sometimes I want to bite assholes to death too,” John admitted with a chuckle and turned, showing his back. “That one on just above the hip, that’s from a gun.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It healed,” Arthur noticed, amazed. When he touched the round scar again, John shivered slightly. Probably because of the cold hand. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Told you the gun doesn’t always kill,” he reminded and turned back. Arthur was already pointing at another scar of his.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“These ones was left by a shark.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John noticed the scars on Arthur's body before, he wasn’t blind, but he never wondered how he got them. He should’ve expected one of the attackers was a shark.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Damn, how did you survive?” he asked, touching many scars forming a half circle on Arthur’s back. He felt those scars before when they hugged but was too occupied reuniting with his friend to pay them any mind. Now he was touching them again, they weren’t very deep but it looked like a big shark bit Arthur once. It could’ve ripped his arm with no problem.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Looking a little flushed, Arthur licked his lips before answering. “Probably because she wasn’t trying to eat me.” There was an amusement in his voice, like he was retelling a happy story.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She?” John questioned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was a female.” Arthur turned back to him. “I didn’t even see her, I was swimming near the surface, she came from under me.” That’s why John hated the ocean. At least on land nothing could attack him by suddenly opening the ground. “I think she was just curious.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John watched him, staggered. “And that’s why she bite you?” he asked. “Couldn’t she just poke you with her nose?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur shrugged. “Guess not,” he answered. “Once she realized I wasn’t anything to eat, she let me go. The bite hurt like hell but was harmless really.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure, you just got bit by a shark and it was harmless.” John shook his head. “She could’ve eaten you!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah, sharks don’t eat merpeople, or humans for that matter, unless they’re really hungry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I heard the tales.” Mostly from Perason. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He refused to believe sharks weren't dangerous, even if Perason’s stories about them were full of shit. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur actually snorted. “Those are just tales, John,” he assured. “I promise you have a higher chance getting killed by some seals than by a shark. Humans and merpeople are too thin for them. We have no fat.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stop trying to convince me to like sharks,” he asked, hating and loving how it made Arthur smile. “People fear them for a reason.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe you shouldn’t have invaded their home,” Arthur suggested. John huffed. “Come on, your turn.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John rolled his eyes and turned his right hand, showing off the inside of his wrist. “Snake bite. Thankfully empty, bastard was venomous but I guess he didn’t want to waste venom on me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was extremely lucky with this one. He saw people dying from snake bites within a couple of minutes, suffocating slowly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur gently took John’s palm in his and brushed two pale dots on his wrist with his thumb. John watched it captivated, once again feeling like a couple of minutes ago when Arthur was carrying for his wound. Despite not having a shirt on, he felt hot suddenly and the tips of his ears were burning. He wondered if Arthur could feel how quick his pulse was under his thumb.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We have snakes in the ocean too but none bit me before,” Arthur told him, dropping his hand. The touch ended but John only now felt the coldness. “You ever seen a squid?” John shook his head, trying to calm his heart again. It seemed pointless when every touch was making it go wild again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur turned slightly and pointed at the part of human skin on his hip, right above his tail. There were three round scars there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s from a squid?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Arthur breathed, his side fins fluttering quickly a couple of times when John rubbed one of the scars. It was unsettling how round they were, perfect circles. “Now that could eat me if it wanted. Thankfully it only grabbed me for a moment and left me alone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It looks big, how huge the squid was?” he asked, still touching the scars.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s uh…” Arthur staggered. John looked up at him surprised by the sudden hesitation and noticed his cheeks were dusted with pink. John found himself not being able to look away even if he wanted to. He didn’t. “It was bigger than me, that’s for sure,” Arthur managed to say eventually, bowing his head. John was surprised how disappointed he was now that he couldn’t look at the merman’s face anymore. “I was asking for it, shouldn’t have swam that deep but I never saw them this close to the coast. Didn’t think it would be there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John took back his hand finally and Arthur looked at him again, no sign of embarrassment from before, there was only expectation in his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is where I got shot for the first time,” he pointed at the scar on his right arm. “I thought I was going to die.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They went back and forth like that till they had no more scars to show, at least on the chest, back or arms, because John still had a couple he could show below the waist but sitting there with his chest naked was bold enough. Everything lower was for lovers only.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John’s shirt dried off by that time so he was putting it back on, having troubles with buttons when Arthur was watching for some reason. He didn’t ask why the merman was doing it, just focused on the task at hand, watching his fingers struggling with such a simple thing like buttoning up a shirt. He hasn't had such troubles since he was five.   </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You never said anything about the scars on your face,” Arthur noticed suddenly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John’s hands froze holding the button. To be honest, he forgot about those scars. He tried not to think about them much and if he did, he wished they weren’t on his face. Damn wolves.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t like them.” Other scars he could show as a sign of how strong he was, how much he endured during his whole life. He looked tough with them and some prostitutes were fascinated with them, even if they didn’t often believe him when he was telling them the story of how he got them. Still, he was proud of them, those on his face? Not so much. If they showed anything, it was only that he was dumb, losing himself in the snowstorm and not being able to fight of couple of wolves.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How did you get them? If you don’t mind me asking?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t really mind. Those scars weren't any secret, he couldn’t hide them and people would always ask about them eventually. He was stuck with them and no matter how much he hated it, they would always be the first thing people would notice about him. Kind of hard to avoid.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was lost in the mountains and stumbled upon hungry wolves.” Scars started to itch, they still weren’t fully healed despite the stitches being long gone. “One left me this gift.” He pointed with a sigh at his face. “Couldn’t have chosen a worse spot. I was ugly before but now I'm even worse.”   </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not ugly,” Arthur blurted suddenly and looked spooked the second after, like he wasn’t planning to say those words out loud.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The merman blushed furiously and slowly looked away or John thought he did because he himself did just that, blushing as well. Arthur didn’t exactly tell him he was beautiful, he just denied he was ugly, he could still think John was just… okay. Then why the hell John felt so happy as if Arthur did tell him he was beautiful? Why the hell was his heart going like he could swear it shouldn’t be possible? He felt like he was going to pass out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Um,” John hesitated, not being able to look at Arthur, even if he was tempted because of the blush on his face. “Thank you,” he said eventually.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They looked at each other at the same time, still red on the faces. “Anytime.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John laughed at how awkward they were being but somehow he didn’t feel the need to run away. Instead he enjoyed it and when Arthur grinned at him, he grinned back. “So what was you up to while I was gone?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mostly worrying about you,” Arthur answered honestly, non intentionally making John guilty again. “What you’ve been doing?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sleeping and resting. Having weird dreams I don’t remember anymore.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How do you know they was weird?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just a feeling.” John remembered his shirt still wasn’t buttoned fully so he got back to that. “I remember glimpses. I know I dreamed about you one or two times but I can’t remember the details.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s sweet,” Arthur teased him, watching him with a smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John scowled at him. “Shut up,” he mumbled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was good to talk like that again, he missed it and judging by the huge grin on Arthur's face, the merman missed it too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They spent the rest of the day together, like always, filling each other in with stories of what they’ve been doing. John told Arthur more about the robbery, how the others saved him and what he did while he was stuck in the bed, avoiding mentioning that he drew the merman a lot.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur in return told him how he swam to the town to check if he would be able to see John there. He risked a lot getting this close to humans but he couldn’t help himself. He also practiced writing and reading whenever he could focus on it longer than a few minutes or just swam around at the bay to always be close if John decided to return one day.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was mostly lying at the bottom, that’s where I was when you shouted my name,” he explained further.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought maybe you left,” John admitted after that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And where would I go?” Arthur asked. John didn’t answer, he already knew his worries about that were stupid. “This is my home. Besides, I was hoping you would return eventually. You returned even when you said you didn’t want to, after all,” he reminded with a grin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John smiled at that, happy that despite the worry, the merman still had a little faith in him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“To you? Always,” he promised, making Arthur grin harder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sitting close by the fair again, with Arthur by his side and the sounds of the ocean as the background for their talk was relaxing. John never wanted to miss it for this long again. It was only a week but it felt like a month. But they had it again and they could talk and eat together like before. Arthur caught fish for them and John shared a few cans he took with him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Later, when it was still bright and the sun wasn’t set, Arthur showed him a couple new pictures he drew and how good his handwriting was now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It got dark quickly after that but they stayed by the fire and talked some more, not having enough of each other yet. The whole week was tiring for John, not only because of the wound, but he finally felt rested here. Rested, relaxed and happy, not feeling stuck or bored, even when he and Arthur stopped talking to watch the stars. With a company like that, finally at peace, he could play those chess, poker, dominos or draw and actually enjoy it unlike during the last week in the camp. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John didn’t want to move, even more so than ever before but Grimshaw would probably think he hurt himself and passed out somewhere and she would no doubt send someone to search for him. He doubted anyone would find this bay, maybe Charles but it was probably too long since John left even for Charles to pick up the trail. Still, he wasn't going to risk it so eventually, he stood up from his place where he was laying on the sand next to Arthur, their hips and shoulders touching. He couldn’t explain it but he felt the need to feel the merman against him almost all the time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wasn’t afraid it was a dream, or maybe he was, it didn’t matter, Arthur didn’t mind the closeness and often moved closer himself so everything was fine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Need to get back,” he said when Arthur threw him a questioning look. The hope that maybe John was just standing up to take a piss vanished from the merman’s eyes when John said the real reason. And got back his hat from his head. “After I got shot, I don’t think my gang would appreciate me spending the night here,” he chuckled, realizing he really wanted to spend the night. He could, he always had a tent and a bedroll on his saddle, he would only have to lead Old Boy to the bay so he wouldn’t be alone in the forest. There were no wolves here to kill him but he still didn’t like the thought of leaving his horse alone for the whole night.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The only thing stopping him from staying was still just Grimshaw and her overprotectiveness. Some other time, he thought.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur nodded and walked him to the path. “I'm glad you finally returned,” he admitted when John kneeled on one knee to say goodbye. He itched to hug the merman again but he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to let go. He only did before because Arthur moved away first. John never was a person that hugged much but after the first hug with Arthur and especially after today, he craved more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I'm glad too,” he said. He tried to look into Arthur's eyes but the fire was only giving so much light. Barely one side of the merman’s face was casted with it. Better than none. “I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you what will happen.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You couldn’t know you would get shot,” Arthur noticed with a smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Still should’ve told you,” he insisted. That was very foolish of him and he would regret it for a long time, if not forever. Arthur’s words from earlier were still stuck in his brain. ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>I thought you abandoned me.</span>
  </em>
  <span>’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ll tell me next time.” Arthur was still smiling so John let himself feel a little less guilty and smiled back. “Speaking of next time, you going to be there tomorrow?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A little later than usual but I will,” he promised. He spent the whole week with his friend not appreciating their company, he wanted to make it up for them tomorrow. “I’ll be back after noon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll be waiting.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John knew what was coming next the moment Arthur laid a hand on his knee. He smiled and opened his arms even before the merman lifted himself completely to hug him. John embraced him tightly, resting a chin on his shoulder just like Arthur did too. He closed his eyes and sighed, smelling the sea on Arthur’s skin and a unique smell that belonged only to him. The merman’s skin was cold like always but John didn’t mind and felt warm anyway.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I missed you,” Arthur murmured into his neck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John’s heart skipped a beat before returning to its galloping rhythm. “Missed you too,” he replied, hugging tighter. So much, he wanted to add but his throat closed up suddenly and he could only keep the hug going.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It didn’t seem like a goodbye hug, more like continuation of the one when they reunited, another reassurance they were really there. And just like John predicted, he didn’t want to let go again. It felt too good and he just wanted to stay like this, content, feeling Arthur's arms around him and with his stomach fluttering funny.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had no idea how long they were hugging but John’s heart calmed down eventually. Shortly after, he felt a prick of pain in there when Arthur moved away first. John almost tightened his grip around him but that would require explanation he didn’t have so he forced himself to end the hug as well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur got down on the ground again and smiled at him. Another flutter appeared in John’s stomach and he smiled back immediately. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Goodnight, John,” Arthur said and not waiting for an answer he turned to get back to his ocean.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Goodnight, Arthur,” John replied anyway and stood up, watching the merman go for a second or two before turning around as well and climbing up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He only took a few steps before turning around and catching Arthur doing the same. It was hard to see him in the darkness but the scales of his tail glistened slightly in the glow of a still burning fire at the beach. He looked stunning, even like that, even if John couldn’t see him completely.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In his warmth filled chest, John’s heart went wild again and he found himself being filled with such intense affection he could swear it pushed all the air from his lungs. His stomach felt like there were butterflies trapped inside, throat went dry and lips parted in sudden realization.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was in love.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shit.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>John finally caught up with his brain and the one braincell he has there. Good old life-threatening  situation can really open one's eyes! Now only Arthur has to realize what is going on too, if he doesn't know already 😏</p>
<p>I had to include the 'oh' moment. I love it so much in fics, it's precious.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Tricks and Treats</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It all made sense now that he looked at it, John decided later at night while he was laying in his tent, staring at the roof and thinking because he was too nervous and giddy to sleep.</p><p>During the ride back to camp, he didn’t think at all. It was hard to focus on anything that wasn’t the warm feeling that still resided in his chest, or the flutter of his stomach after meeting with Arthur. It was fading with time and the distance he was putting between himself and the bay, but it never truly left. In fact, it was still there, keeping him awake at… John checked the watch he was keeping under the pillow, squinting his eyes to see in the dark.</p><p>Christ, it was 2 a.m., he returned to camp over three hours ago. Most people were waiting for him, already worried that he got hurt. Susan seemed especially concerned if the fact she yelled at him for being irresponsible was telling something. He assured her and everyone else that he was fine, ignoring questions asking him why he was ‘smiling like a fool’.</p><p>Because he was a fool. A lovesick fool. How could he not realize what was going on sooner? He was never in love before but still, the clues were there from the very beginning. Apart from the first two meetings when Arthur was terrifying to him. Now he couldn’t see the merman any other way than as… as lovely.  </p><p>Yeah, that was the right word to describe him.</p><p>Lovely.</p><p>He was also funny, kind, intelligent, passionate, talented and a great friend. And handsome.</p><p>John felt himself blushing in the dark. He never really paid much attention to Arthur’s beauty but he would lie if he was to tell he didn’t notice it. He would have to be blind for that because Arthur was handsome, very much so even. He had no idea how attractive he was for other merpeople, he wasn’t even that handsome by human’s standards but to John he was. Especially those blue, a little greenish eyes that were glistening so prettily yesterday, and it’s all because of John. Because he returned and that was enough to put joy into those eyes.</p><p>And made those pink lips stretch into a big grin.</p><p>And John feels so good about that.</p><p>In retrospect, it wasn’t hard to fall head over the heels for Arthur. With his captivating personality the merman could seduce almost anyone but he didn’t even have to do much to do so with John. His fascination with the merman quickly turned into a friendship and from there, it was just a short step to love.</p><p>Arthur was easy to love. Just like it was easy to enjoy his company. Unless someone didn’t like folks asking lots of questions. And Arthur was like that because he was curious about pretty much everything on land.</p><p>John never liked overly chatty people and he was easily getting tired of Jack asking similar questions about everything, yet it didn’t bother him with Arthur. Maybe because he could always ask a question in return and learn something too? It was never a dynamic like between a teacher and a child, they were both learning from each other.  </p><p>Besides, Arthur trying to figure out how things on land and human society worked was adorable. Some things were confusing to him, others he wished he could try. John loved how excited the merman was about trying new food, his reactions to it, how he could lick the whole can of beans clean because he loved the taste so much.</p><p>He loved how Arthur reacted to a horse for the first time and how gentle he was with Old Boy, making sure to not scare him further. How he grinned after the gelding touched his hand to eat from it.</p><p>He loved how empathic Arthur was, helping John feel better even though he didn’t know much about the problem or how relationships among humans really work and they weren’t that close back then but he still wanted to help because it was the right thing to do and he already liked John.</p><p>John liked him too.</p><p>How easy it was to engage in a conversation with him or just sit in silence. And he liked their small, funny bickering. And that Arthur was not only interested in humans in general but in John as well, his relationship with people in the gang. John never felt forced talking to him, their conversations were natural and he was never tired of them.</p><p>Yeah, falling in love with such a friendly fella wasn’t hard.</p><p>John sighed and closed his eyes, like he should’ve done hours ago. Maybe he would’ve been asleep by now but something was telling him that wouldn’t work as he wished it would. Because even with closed eyes he could still see Arthur and his stupid, charming smile, now even clearer than while looking into the dark.</p><p>His heart skipped a beat and John opened his eyes again, feeling nervousness swirling in his abdomen.</p><p>So he was in love, what now?</p><p>If Arthur was some pretty girl, he would start courting, hoping that his advantages would be welcome, both from the girl and her father. Thank god Arthur wasn’t a girl because his asshole of a daddy would probably eat him.</p><p>John snorted, thinking how absurd it was that this would be the danger and not getting shot like good old ways.</p><p>Anything that he would do in a normal situation was out of question. It was far from normal. Not only he fell in love with a man, it wasn’t even a human man, it was a different species.</p><p>Being with a man wasn’t as scary as it probably should considering he could get killed for it. He was aware of the danger, it’s been like that since he noticed he started ogling men in saloons as much as he ogled the working girls. He knew he liked both and used to experiment when he was younger. He would carefully look for signs that another man could be an invert too before approaching and subtly suggesting doing something quick and dirty behind the saloon or some barn.</p><p>Asking openly would be a suicide, even if he would’ve been sure the other man would love nothing more than to fuck his throat. But other patrons could hear and kill them both so John had to be careful, never approaching the other man like he would approach a prostitute or just a willing woman. And he was always careful, never had been caught or accused of pursuing a sinful, forbidden act.</p><p>Arthur being a man wasn’t a problem. They were always meeting in a hidden place anyway, they would be safe otherwise. When he was thinking about it, him being a merman wasn't that much of a problem either. That only meant he had a tail instead of legs. A very beautiful tail.</p><p>Sure, being in a relationship like that would be challenging but not impossible. They had a connection and liked each other’s company. John rarely had this much fun as he was having with Arthur recently and he was pretty sure merfolks’ love wasn’t that much different from human love. So maybe they came from two different worlds but that didn’t stop them from being friends, understanding each other perfectly and carrying about each other. So they would be fine.</p><p>As for the physical aspect, well Arthur had a working mouth. And if experimenting with men taught John anything, it was that a tongue in the ass was as good as a dick or fingers. So yeah, they would be good, more than good with how long that thing Arthur had in his mouth was. And who knows what exactly he was hiding in the slit on his tail.</p><p>John regretted not asking when he had a chance, Arthur was open enough to share this with him. But it was awkward then, it would still be awkward but now John also felt a little hot thinking about it.</p><p>Shifting on his cot, he stirred his mind into another direction before he could wander too far with them. He couldn’t let himself be distracted when he had to figure out what to do next.</p><p>He couldn’t just ask Arthur about it and tell him about his feelings. He could already tell he would feel bad hiding it from the merman, especially after they promised to not keep anything from each other again, but that was different than not mentioning robbery. This secret could actually hurt both of them upon revealing it to him, so keeping the truth from Arthur, at least for now, was actually a better solution.</p><p>John wouldn’t dare to risk their relationship like that and there was no way to tell how the merman would react. Maybe merfolks were as against it as humans and Arthur would feel disgusted? And even if not, even if merpeople were a very open species that wasn’t against sodomy(Why would they be? They had no Christian God to tell them it’s wrong for some reason) that didn’t mean Arthur would be interested and their relationship wouldn’t turn awkward if John would tell him the truth.</p><p>When thinking about Arthur, it was clear that John became very dear to him in that short time they knew each other. It wasn’t surprising, Arthur was very lonely before John entered his life but he wasn’t clinging to him no more than John was clinging to him so the fast progress of their friendship may have nothing to do with that.</p><p>But the fact was that Arthur considered him a close friend, the kind of friend that patches you up when you’re hurt, cheer you up when you’re down and worries about you when you’re gone long.</p><p>John had no doubt about Arthur’s affection but could this be a romantic love? Arthur was a touchy fella, and very affectionate for someone who spent his early years among the underwater version of Germans(John hadn’t met that many Germans but every single one of them was a buffoon). Maybe he learned it from watching people on ships and in ports. Either way, all the touching and smiles and stuttering could easily be the same love John was feeling.</p><p>Or it could be platonic love, men were pretty close with each other after all. John was far from thinking that Arthur didn’t know the difference, he had parents after all and he must’ve seen other merpeople engaged in romantic relationships, he knew how platonic love looked like but would he be able to tell the difference between it and romantic love in himself if he never felt it as far as John knew?</p><p>John could tell despite not having any experience beforehand, so that was that but still, he was worried he was reading too much into it. That yesterday, when they were touching, was different for Arthur despite both of them reacting in the same manner. John wasn’t crazy, he heard those hitches in breaths from Arthur. He felt him trembling under his touch. He saw those blushes.</p><p>He just wasn’t ready to lose all of that if he was wrong. Maybe John was right and Arthur felt the same but was as much scared of the consequences of being wrong. Maybe John was wrong and was saving them both from the heartbreak.</p><p>He would wait, John decided. Not forever, that would be too painful and the gang wouldn’t even stay here for that long, but enough to give himself some time to come with a plan, observe Arthur and how he was acting around him. Arthur was an open book, it shouldn’t be hard to read him and when John would be sure, he would make his move. Nervous and on the verge of running away, but he would. He had no idea how to start a relationship but if he had a chance, he was going to take it.</p><p>Maybe he would get lucky but for now he was happy with how things were between him and Arthur. Being friends was great too.</p><p>Because God knows he couldn’t just stay away. It was too late for that now, for both of them.</p><p>
  <em> ‘I thought you abandoned me.’ </em>
</p><p>Never. Again.</p><p>Now that he calmed himself, the fluttering feeling in his stomach returned. John turned to his side and closed his eyes again, smiling as he fell asleep.</p><p>He woke up early. Despite sleeping very little he felt well rested and was already eager to go to the bay. He almost grabbed his saddle without even grabbing breakfast first and rushed to get Old Boy ready when he remembered he was supposed to spend some part of the day with his friends.</p><p>John looked around from the entrance of his tent. Some folks were still asleep while early risers were already treating themselves with fresh coffee someone already made.</p><p>Ignoring the need to go see Arthur, John joined those awake, determined to make it up to them for being unpleasant company for the last week. He didn’t promise them anything but he was feeling bad with himself for how he treated them like he didn’t care about them and what they did for him while he was stuck in bed. They tried their best to make his stay in the camp more bearable and all he gave them in return was thinking how he would rather be with Arthur. And he was ignoring them even before that robbery, it was time to finally do right by his friends and treat them like they deserved. Arthur could wait a little.</p><p>That’s what he was reminding himself while trying to be a good friend and failing. It was a big lie. Maybe Arthur could wait(he probably couldn’t) but John couldn’t. He was missing the merman already and it felt again like they didn’t see each other in over a week. It was ridiculous, they were spending so much time together already and it was still not enough for John. He wanted to say it was because of not seeing each other for a week and being worried sick at that time, but he was missing Arthur as much then as he was now. Nothing changed except now he was aware why he was longing so much.</p><p>But he was still being a bad friend, no matter how hard he tried to be better. And his friends noticed how distracted he was, how he only listened to them with one ear during the morning coffee or how little he was adding to the conversation during breakfast when everyone was awake already. They noticed him staring into the distance more than once and teased him every time they caught him.</p><p>It made him feel even worse than he already was.</p><p>John wished he could explain everything, even if vaguely, and say sorry for how he was acting. It would make him feel better and everyone else would be at ease too. But John couldn’t be sure the gang would still respect his privacy if he would open up to them and share the truth. As long as John was giving them signs he had no desire to speak about whoever he was seeing every day, the gang, and especially Dutch, were leaving him alone with his secret for now.</p><p>Thankfully his friends didn’t seem angry with his behavior. They were surprisingly understanding despite not giving away if they knew something or not. They were probably suspecting he was in love, it was obvious after all, but decided not to push for details. Which was surprising, he would expect Sean to ask lots of questions. Sadie probably forced him to keep quiet. That woman was scary when she wanted to.</p><p>John could only hope that things would stay that way and everyone wouldn’t grow more curious the longer he was not saying anything. Which was a wishful thinking on his part, time and staying quiet was only making people more curious, which his friends already were, they just probably still thought he would tell them the truth eventually. Hopefully explaining that he just found a friend would be enough and they wouldn’t ask to meet Arthur. Which was out of question for forever as far as John was concerned.</p><p>With everyone’s curiosity sustained for now and the gang being okay with John being absent most of the time, his guilt was practically non existent when he was leaving to see Arthur earlier than he planned. He wanted to stay longer but it would be pointless, he was still a poor company to the others, who watched him amused while he was quickly preparing to ride off. John could hear them laugh at him sometimes, he looked like a fool to them and he didn’t even mind. At least they didn’t hate him for how terrible he treated them. They understood why he was acting like that and they were okay with that, so he was okay too.</p><p>By the time John left the camp, he didn’t feel any guilt at all. Maybe because there really was nothing to be guilty about or because the excitement to see Arthur again took over and he forgot about anything that wasn’t the merman.  </p><p>They arrived in the forest pretty quickly and John started walking down right after he took off the saddle from his horse. When John heard splashes even before he could see the bay, he was sure that Arthur was jumping out of the water again. He grinned, remembering how gorgeous the merman looked then, and hurried to see it. He was a little disappointed when it turned out it wasn’t Arthur having this much fun.  </p><p>Some kind of seal was swimming in the deeper part of the bay, Arthur was there too, exactly in the middle and the animal circled him, doing tricks and splashing the water all around. It jumped out of the water and dived down when it landed, putting a big smile on Arthur's face which was visible even from the top of the path.</p><p>John walked down slowly, not wanting to interrupt whatever was going on. The seal emerged back from the water and bumped into Arthur with its nose, making the merman laugh. John’s heart sped up hearing this sound. He continued watching as Arthur shot through the water, the seal right at his heels, equally as fast and agile. They reached the rock belt and that’s when Arthur noticed the movement on the path. His already big smile only grew when he noticed John and raised his hand in greeting.</p><p>John did the same, not being able to contain his joy when he saw how much more happy he made Arthur by just arriving. It woke up butterflies in his stomach again and made his knees a little wobbly as he walked down the rest of the path, watching the merman giving the seal one of the dead fish that was laying on one of the rocks.</p><p>“Hey, John,” Arthur greeted him while John was pulling off his boots to be able to get into the water. “How are you?”</p><p>When I’m with you?, John wanted to clarify but didn’t. Arthur didn’t ask about that so he just looked up at his friend who was watching him from behind the rock belt. “Gay,” he answered with a tentative smile.</p><p>The merman watched him with a matching curl of his lips. “Me too,” he admitted before shifting his attention back to the seal that was asking for it. He chuckled when the animal poked him again. “You just get a fish, what do you want?” Arthur asked it and the seal swam away to do a few circles in the water.</p><p>“What is that?” After rolling up his pants, John entered the water and got closer to where Arthur was waiting.</p><p>“A seal,” the merman answered. John rolled his eyes, which Arthur noticed and huffed in response. “I don’t know, it’s in the compendium but I don’t know how to read that one.”</p><p>John looked back at the beach and the book laying open on the sand. He was already in the water and close to Arthur but his curiosity was too great to ignore. He walked towards the beach while listening to Arthur having fun with the seal.</p><p>The sand got stuck to his feet when he walked out of the water and got to the book. It was open on the chapter with seals and John immediately recognized the seal Arthur was playing with. “It’s a California sea lion!” he shouted at the merman and put the book on the ground again, turning back to the water.</p><p>John noticed the merman’s confused face when he turned around as well and swam to the belt again to meet with John.</p><p>“That’s no lion, I already saw a lion in the book,” he pointed out when they reached each other, leaning against the rocks.</p><p>John shrugged before answering. “Hey, I didn’t name that thing, I just tell you what it is.”</p><p>Arthur still didn’t look like he liked that name. “I’m just going to keep calling her Boadicea.”</p><p>John laughed. “Where did you get that name?” he asked, watching as the seal swam in the bay, happily entertaining herself while Arthur was busy with John.</p><p>“Heard it somewhere, just like mine,” the merman answered and whistled. The seal came up to him right away. “Want to pet her?”</p><p>“Didn’t you say they were more dangerous than sharks?” John reminded him but he already reached his hand to pet the animal. The sea lion bumped his hand with her head and tickled him with her whiskers before swimming away. John realized she had a fur on her body, not just a bare skin like he thought.</p><p>“Some are more dangerous than others, those sometimes help people,” Arthur explained with a grin that never failed to make John’s heart go wild.</p><p>The seal returned to them and wiggled herself under Arthur’s arm that was resting on the rocks. Screeching very loudly, she almost climbed the belt to reach John. Laughing, he pet her on the head again before she decided it was enough and returned to the water.</p><p>“You sure it’s not a dog with flippers attached?” John asked, amused.</p><p>Arthur chuckled, making John beam with pride. “I’m sure,” he answered and picked up one of the fish. “Want to feed her? Just be careful with the teeth, they’re sharp.”</p><p>John took the fish, holding it firmly by the tail so it wouldn’t slip from his grasp. “You know from your own experience?”</p><p>“Thankfully no, but I saw what they can do with a fish.” Arthur whistled again and the sea lion returned. “Tell her to wave,” Arthur suggested.</p><p>A little confused, John watched the seal sticking out her head from the water, eyeing the fish in his hand and waiting for it to land in her mouth. “Okay, should I use her name?”</p><p>“Don’t bother, she doesn’t react to it yet.”</p><p>“Wave,” John said then and the seal turned on her back before starting waving with her front flipper as if she was waving goodbye. It almost looked like she was going because she dived and disappeared in the dark water before repairing again right in front of John. “Whoa. That was amazing!”, he said with a wide smile.</p><p>He tossed the seal her fish and she caught it with ease, making a big splash when she landed in the water.</p><p>“I’ve been teaching her tricks for weeks now, every time she visits me,” Arthur explained proudly. “She’s very playful and she will do anything for food.”</p><p>“So, like a dog,” John insisted and grinned at Arthur who grinned back.</p><p>“I suppose, I never met a dog before,” he admitted and grabbed another fish. “I can show you more tricks, that’s okay?.”</p><p>John was going to lead Old Boy here but he didn’t mind the slight change of plans, he was having fun with Arthur and his seal.  </p><p>“Yes, please,” he answered enthusiastically.</p><p>Arthur flashed him another big smile and swam a little from the rock belt, whistling at the seal one more time. “Okay, girl, say hello.”</p><p>John expected the seal to make some sound but she only put her flipper against Arthur’s palm and shook his hand. “Very good. Now go stand.”</p><p>It was frightening how fast the seal was and how quick she reached the belt. John stepped back when she jumped out of the water onto the rocks right in front of him and lifted the lower part of her body up in the air, standing on her front flippers and chest. John just now realized how huge she was, as big as a grown woman.</p><p>“You’re very talented, missy,” he said to her, and gave her the fish in place of Arthur, who watched from the water with a fond expression. John smiled at him over Boadicea’s body who was back on all fours.</p><p>“Say hello to John, girl,” Arthur told her, swimming a little closer to them.</p><p>The seal raised her fin and John quickly gave her his palm to shake. “Good, girl,” he praised her and laughed as she caught another fish, swallowing it whole before jumping back to the water and swimming towards Arthur, circling around him again.</p><p>“That was very good, girl,” the merman said proudly. “How about you jump now, huh?”</p><p>Boadicea dived and jumped out shortly after, effortlessly ejecting her whole body out of the water and landing back with a big splash. Arthur looked back at John, watching his reaction and he must’ve been pleased with what he saw because his blue eyes sparkled suddenly.</p><p>Ignoring the pleasant clench in his stomach, John provided the seal with another fish for her trick and continued to watch as Boadicea swam through the water, rolling her body or waving with her flippers every time Arthur gave her a command. It was fun to watch her but John’s couldn’t help but also look at Arthur after every trick just to see his proud smile again and cheeks flushed with excitement. It was endearing to watch how much love the merman had for that animal and how much he enjoyed it like a human would enjoy a dog or a cat.</p><p>It went on for a few minutes and John considered himself lucky he could watch all of this. He knew animals were doing tricks in the circus but he was pretty sure no circus had a seal in their shows and even if they had, it wasn't as fun to watch as Boadicea.</p><p>When the sea lion finished another trick, which was hugging Arthur, the merman said something quiet to her. John was a little surprised because every other command was said loud enough for him to hear but not this one. He was even more confused when Arthur disappeared under the surface with the seal.</p><p>John watched the water intensely, wondering if he would be able to see them there but it was too dark. He shouldn’t be but John was a little scared they would drown the longer they would stay underwater. Which was ridiculous in Arthur’s case who could breathe there just fine and John was pretty sure the seal could hold her breath longer than a few seconds when they were gone.</p><p>But he was just a human, terrified of water at that, so he couldn’t help but be a little scared. At least until both Arthur and Boadicea jumped out of the water next to each other. John gaped at their synchronization, how they not only jumped at the same time but landed back in the water like that too, both on their opposite sides before vanishing under the surface again and reappearing just a few seconds later.</p><p>“Good girl,” Arthur told the seal and scratched her head. The seal wiggled a little, making weird, barking sounds. The merman laughed at her and let her go, watching her swimming towards the exit from the bay and just like that she was gone, back in the open ocean. Arthur then turned to John and quickly swam to him, climbing onto the rocks and sitting down. “Did you like it?”</p><p>“It was amazing,” John admitted and sat next to the merman, getting as close to him as possible, not caring about the cold radiating from him. “I never saw anything like that. Granted, I have never seen a seal before but still. You taught her well.”</p><p>Arthur blushed a little under John’s praises but didn’t look away. “Thank you, but it wasn’t that hard,” he said, shifting nervously. His hip and arm bumping into John’s because of how close they were sitting. “She’s smart, all I had to do was just show her what to do and give her a fish in return.”</p><p>“Training an animal isn’t easy,” John pointed out. “I know, I train every one of my horses. You need a lot of patience and skills to do that.”</p><p>Arthur smiled shyly at him and John could swear there was no better smile on this world than this one. “How’s your wound?” the merman asked suddenly.</p><p>Broken out of his daze, John struggled for a few seconds to find the words to answer. “Uh, great,” he replied, gratefulness coating his voice. “That seaweed of yours is amazing, it didn’t hurt for the rest of the day.”</p><p>“I could put it on the wound again,” the merman offered immediately.</p><p>John looked down and shivered at the thought of being touched by Arthur again. Yesterday was still fresh on his mind, he remembered in detail how gentle the merman’s touch was, how cold and soothing his fingers were while he applied the liquid from the plant.</p><p>John licked his dry lips and shivered again before looking back up. “I would like that,” he answered, keeping himself in check to not sound too eager.</p><p>Arthur tensed next to him, and for a short moment John was sure he failed to keep his voice neutral and now Arthur was creeped out by it, but the merman’s face was relaxed, without any trace of being terrified. “I’ll go get it now,” he said, and the reason he tensed was suddenly explained.</p><p>Before Arthur could jump into the water, John stopped him by placing a hand at his arm. The merman looked at him, questioning.</p><p>“You’ll get it later, it doesn’t hurt that much,” John said. “I want to get Old Boy down again so you can play with him.”</p><p>It was ridiculous how Arthur's whole face lit up at the mention of a horse. There was this stupid grin again that John was sure was one of the reason that made him fall in love with the merman. He couldn’t help but return it, already feeling his cheeks hurt.</p><p>“Go get him then!” Arthur hurried him.</p><p>John laughed. “After you freaked out yesterday I was sure you would oppose much more before agreeing,” he pointed out jokingly, still keeping his hand on Arthur’s arm. The merman didn’t protest or shook him off so John enjoyed the cold skin and hard muscles under his fingers.</p><p>“You’ll be fine,” Arthur replied with a cheeky grin. “Now go get my horse.”</p><p>“Your horse?” he repeated, pretending to be scandalized. Arthur only smirked at him. “Some friend you are,” he huffed and reluctantly took his hand from Arthur’s arm, brushing his fingers a little against the skin as he did. John bit his lower lip as Arthur shivered just slightly and followed the hand with his eyes before focusing on John again, who was watching him back as well, still trying to act offended while his stomach was doing gymnastics in his belly under the intense, blue gaze of the merman. “You don’t care about my health, you steal my horse…”</p><p>John jumped off the rocks and stomped away. As much as he could stomp while in knee deep water.   </p><p>“I bet I'm the best friend you ever had!” Arthur shouted after him with a humor in his voice.</p><p>“That you are,” John said to himself, smiling.</p><p>Getting Old Boy down was easier than the first time. The gelding had a good memory and remembered that it was safe to go down, especially when John was leading him. He didn’t get scared by Arthur as well, that traitor actually trotted to the merman who smirked smugly at John who was still standing by the path, pouting.</p><p>He tried to tell himself he wasn't jealous of the attention Old Boy was getting while he walked towards his friend and his horse that tried to sniff some treats on the merman. All he could smell was probably just fish and sea breeze.</p><p>“I assume you don’t like fish?” he heard Arthur while he was close enough. The merman reached behind himself and picked up the fish he was feeding to Boadicea. Old Boy sniffed it but obviously wasn’t interested. John wasn’t even slightly surprised when Arthur just put the fish in his mouth, chewed it and swallowed raw like it was a candy or something.</p><p>“Troubles?” John asked teasingly, leaning against the rocks, arms crossed over his chest.</p><p>Arthur looked away from Old Boy to stare at him instead. “John, glad you finally joined,” he said with a grin. John’s heart skipped a bit. “You have any treats I can give him?”</p><p>John sagged, just a little. Not jealous, he reminded himself and dug in his satchel. “Have these.”</p><p>Old Boy tried to snatch the box of chopped carrots out of his hand but Arthur was quicker. Unfortunately for him, now that the gelding knew he had treats, he was going to be even more persistent. The merman almost fell into the water when the horse tried to get his carrots. John barked out a laugh seeing the terrified expression on Arthur who clearly didn’t expect the horse to be so pushy.</p><p>“Alright, mister, that’s enough.” John tugged at the reins lightly and Old Boy left Arthur alone but was still staring at him with his big eyes. The merman chuckled nervously. “You okay?” John asked, amused.</p><p>“Yeah,” he breathed out, relieved. “Didn’t expect him to be so hungry.”</p><p>John chuckled, still keeping Old Boy’s reins to make sure the horse wouldn’t do anything again. “He’s not, he just love them carrots.”</p><p>“Is that it, boy?” Arthur asked and pulled one piece of the carrot, giving it to Old Boy who happily munched on it. “That was fast, you must really like them.”</p><p>He got his answer when Old Boy snorted and stretched his neck towards the box, retreating only when John tugged at the reins again. “Patience, mister,” he told the gelding. “There is no way Arthur won’t feed you the whole box, you don’t need to fight for it.”</p><p>“You know me so well.” Arthur grinned at him while handing the horse another piece.</p><p>John smiled back and watched the interaction between the merman and Old Boy. Carrots were quickly eaten, the gelding tried to sniff more treats on Arthur and when he didn’t find any, he turned to John but that was all he had on him. They both chuckled at how disappointed Old Boy actually looked when he didn’t get anything more but he was quickly soothed when Arthur started to pet him, threading his fingers through his mane with one hand and stroking the nose with the other.</p><p>John wasn’t even complaining anymore about Arthur paying attention only to the horse, he liked watching the joy in the merman’s eyes whenever Old Boy responded to his touch and nudged him with his nose or licked at his hand. It was always bringing a smile on Arthur’s face and it was so heartwarming John just wanted to keep watching and listening to the soft, affectionate voice Arthur used while addressing the gelding. It was the same he used with Boadicea and John wished he could hear this tone aimed at him one day.</p><p>He was so focused on enjoying the picture of perfection in front of him he barely registered that Arthur was speaking to him now. “Must be fun riding on a horse,” he said, his voice back to the normal gruff and eyes still aimed only at the horse in front of him as he continued petting him. Old Boy was in heaven, turning his head wherever he wished to be petted next.</p><p>“One of the best feelings in the world,” John admitted. He couldn’t imagine his life without riding horseback. He heard people were working on some machines that could drive without horses pulling them, however that would work, but even if that thing would be the fastest thing on earth, John wouldn’t switch his horse for it even for a million dollars.</p><p>“Can you show me?” Arthur suddenly asked and looked at John with hope.</p><p>“Show you?” The merman nodded. “Uh, I don’t think it’s possible.”</p><p>He didn’t want to disappoint Arthur but there was no other choice. Old Boy was a strong horse but John was sure Arthur was too heavy for him to carry the merman on his back. He felt that weight himself during their fighting. While the human part of Arthur's body wasn't that heavy, the tail was. A lot. It was a structure of pure muscles, when John was pinned under it, he could barely take a breath. It wouldn’t be a stretch if he said Arthur weighed around 400 pounds, maybe a little less, still too much for Old Boy to carry him, especially without a proper saddle.</p><p>“You can’t ride him?” Arthur asked, softly brushing Old Boy’s nose.</p><p>“Oh, that!” John realized, blushing for understanding it wrong. “Sorry I thought you wanted to ride him.”</p><p>Arthur chuckled. “I wish. But I wouldn’t even know how,” he noticed. There was something bitter in his voice when he said that. John suddenly wanted to find a solution to this problem and grant Arthur his wish. Maybe he could, he would just need a right horse. “So, can you?”</p><p>“Yeah, of course,” John answered and smiled when Arthur did too. He would think about finding a proper horse for the merman to ride on later. “With pleasure,” he added after a short consideration, feeling himself blush again. If Arthur noticed, he didn’t say anything, only smiled wider.</p><p>“You sure?” Arthur asked again when John jumped down next to Old Boy, who wasn't very happy that the petting from Arthur stopped. “He doesn’t have… uh-”</p><p>“Saddle,” John finished for him with a little laugh. “Yeah, that’s fine. It’s called bareback riding. It’s actually nice when you know how to ride already.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>John stirred Old Boy away from the rocks to have more space to jump onto his back. He probably should have put his boots back one but when he thought of that, he was already swinging his leg over the horse’s back and was settling down so he dropped that idea.</p><p>Once seated comfortably, closer to Old Boy’s neck than he would sit in the saddle, John looked at Arthur. The merman was watching with interest and a little unsure. “You don’t have spurs.”</p><p>John nodded. “And as you probably remember, I don’t need them,” he reminded the merman and grabbed the reins, holding them loosely in his hand. “I’ll show you how he walks, okay? Then we’ll get to some tricks.”</p><p>“Tricks?”</p><p>“Sure, horses know tricks. Nothing exciting like Boadicea but you should like it.”</p><p>“I already like it,” Arthur admitted. “I never saw a man on a horse from this close. They usually lead them out by reins from the ships.”</p><p>“Happy to give you the show then. See it as a thank you for showing me a sea lion.”</p><p>“You don’t have to thank me,” Arthur assured him and then grimaced. “And that’s still a dumb name. What’s wrong with you humans?”</p><p>John just chuckled and squeezed Old Boy’s sides to get him to move. The gelding walked slowly through the water. John adjusted his position on the horse’s back and looked ahead, enjoying the working muscles under him. God, he loved riding without a saddle. Old Boy was never a wild horse but in moments like this, John felt like he was riding a wild mustang. He ditched the reins for the mane to have an even better experience before checking on Arthur during the first lap around the bay.</p><p>“How’s that looking for you so far?!” he shouted, because he was already a little far.</p><p>“It looks pretty,” the merman admitted. John blinked, surprised and blushed. <em> Pretty </em>. “He moves so smoothly.”</p><p>Oh, he thought disappointed and shook his head. Just because Arthur complimented his look once didn’t mean he was going to do that all the time now.</p><p>John speeded up a little, Old Boy entered a trot and soon they were going past Arthur, who watched them with a smile but no real amazement in his eyes. John wasn’t going to leave it at that, he wanted to impress him as much as the merman impressed him earlier, so he could see that big grin again and sparkle in his eyes. Horses probably weren't that entertaining as seals but John was pretty confident that Arthur was still going to enjoy what John and Old Boy could show him. They were a great team but there was never anyone who they could show it to. Arthur was sure to appreciate their skills.  </p><p>After doing one circle around the bay, John gripped the mane a little tighter and squeezed the gelding once more, making him shift into a gallop. That was the first thing that really impressed Arthur. Whenever they ran past him, the merman watched the gallop with fascination, mostly focusing on Old Boy’s legs that gracefully moved in and outside the water, splashing it around under his hooves.</p><p>John smiled proudly and sped up just a little bit more. The wind tossed Old Boy’s mane back, just like his own hair as they ran around the bay. While passing next to Arthur again, John smiled directly at him, a little surprised that the merman wasn’t watching Old Boy anymore but just him. Arthur had his own smile that only grew when their eyes met.</p><p>John’s heart was suddenly sunken in warmth when he noticed the admiration in them. The joy he felt made him want to go even faster. While his heart speeded up, he slowed Old Boy down to a trot and made him do a passage.</p><p>“He’s walking differently,” Arthur noticed when they reached him.</p><p>“Yeah, it’s a slightly different trot,” John explained. “Wanna see something more impressive?”</p><p>“Is there something more impressive?” Arthur asked, genuinely curious.</p><p>John smiled and stopped Old Boy, but only in place, he was still trotting but not moving anywhere. “How about this?”</p><p>He didn’t have to ask and Arthur didn’t have to answer, which he didn’t, he just watched in amazement how Old Boy continued to trot in place. It was a completely useless skill that John spent way too much time teaching his horse for his own satisfaction. It was never about showing off those skills but about bonding with your horse and there was no better way to do that than through hard training they both enjoyed.</p><p>John was ready to never use all of what they’ve learned in front of anyone else other than his friends, who weren’t even that impressed by it when he bragged about it since they had their own horses and a slightly different trott wasn’t anything exciting for them. At least Hosea and Dutch praised his patience. That’s why he was happy being able to show this to Arthur now, share his and Old Boy’s skills and impress the merman in the process.</p><p>He knew he succeeded because Arthur was looking at him with a spark in his eyes and that special grin of his. He was enjoying what he was seeing and John couldn’t be more proud than in this moment. Once again he felt the urge to just let go and show the real power of a horse. Unfortunately, the bay wasn't big enough for galloping at full speed so he did the next best thing.</p><p>He urged Old Boy to gallop again and when they got to the sand he made the gelding jump forward a couple of feet. Even over the waves and the sound of hoofbeats on sand, John heard the gasp from Arthur. It made him smile dumbly and look into the merman’s directions, beaming. Arthur was looking like he never saw something this incredible and that was just a simple jump, not even over the obstacle.</p><p>They did it again, this time jumping into the water and spraying it up in the air. It fell around them, wetting them a little. Old Boy huffed irritated but John only grinned, changing the direction. “I know you don’t like it, but I need you to do this,” he said to the gelding as they galloped towards Arthur. “Now stop and up, up, up!”</p><p>Old Boy stopped and raised on his hind legs, kicking with his front and neighing loudly, right in front of Arthur. John, gripping the horse’s mane with his hands and squeezing his flanks tightly with his thighs to not fall, gazed down at the merman that looked a little intimidated by Old Boy’s height like this but still in awe of what he was witnessing. But just to be safe, he slipped into the water. He was really scared for a moment.</p><p>Old Boy stomped down, still spooked with having to stand like that. John calmed him down quickly before jumping off his back, panting a little from the exercises they did. He moved closer to Arthur who was still staring at Old Boy, laughing joyfully. John grinned proudly, leaning against the opposite side of the rock that Arthur was resting his forearms on.   </p><p>“Did you like it?” he asked out of breath and with a fast beating heart, but that second thing wasn't anything new when they were together.</p><p>“That was incredible!” Arthur exclaimed excitedly.</p><p>John was bursting with joy at this point, he almost felt like he was glowing with it. Hearing this from some other person wouldn’t have such an effect on him but hearing it from Arthur? It was doing funny things with his heart that was leaping inside his chest right now.</p><p>“Old Boy is incredible,” he mentioned, turning to look at his horse, even if all he wanted to do right now was to stare into Arthur’s eyes glistening with amazement.</p><p>“Well, his rider was amazing too,” the merman added softly.</p><p>John looked back at him, surprised and a little taken aback by the sudden compliment. Arthur was smiling warmly at him, the wonder in his eyes aimed only at him. The blush raised to John’s cheeks and he felt the urge to look away, escape that captivating stare but he didn’t want to. He stared back and shyly returned the smile.</p><p>“Yeah?” he whispered. Arthur’s smile grew as he nodded. John finally ducked his head in embarrassment, feeling his heart racing in his chest, overcome with joy. Arthur thought he was amazing! “Thanks.”</p><p>“Anytime,” Arthur answered, his gravelly voice sweeping through John like a shock wave of an explosion; fast and shaking him through the core. John looked up again, the merman was still staring at him but looked away after a few seconds of eye contact. “I should get you the plant for your wound.”</p><p>“That would be nice,” John admitted, his throat a little dry. Arthur nodded and pushed himself away from the rock but John stopped him once again today before he could swim away. “Hey uh…” He hesitated, wondering if maybe it was a stupid idea. He wanted to say ‘never mind’ and let Arthur swim away but the merman was already looking at him curiously so John decided to follow with his idea. “Want to learn how to braid his mane?” he suggested, pointing back at Old Boy who was resting right behind him.</p><p>Arthur beamed at him and John felt the relief wash over him. How could he think Arthur would refuse?</p><p>“I would love to,” he answered and ducked under water, his tail making a big splash as it swat at the surface before vanishing under it.</p><p>John smiled so hard his cheeks began to hurt but that didn’t make him stop. He turned to Old Boy who was watching him with warm eyes.</p><p>“He’s amazing, ain’t he?” he asked dreamily, stroking Old Boy’s neck. The gelding huffed, tossing his head to the sides. “Hey, back off, he’s mine, find your own merman!” John told him, raising his finger in a warning.</p><p>Old Boy only snorted, as did John, not believing how ridiculous he sounded and how good he felt with that and the warmth in his chest it caused. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>After Arthur returned and applied the medicine on John's wound they spent the next few hours making tiny braids from Old Boy's mane. The Count was jealous of how fabolous Old Boy looked and wished he too had a gay cowboy and his gay merman to do the same with his mane. Unfortunately he only has Dutch.</p><p>I aplogozie for the stupid gay joke, I'm ashamed of it but not enough to cut it out.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Interlude</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The water was cool and clear as Arthur swam through it, leaving the safety of the bay behind to prepare himself for another day with John. Lately, every day was a day with John and Arthur had no reason to complain. The human was never failing to make him smile and want to swim just a little faster, even when he wasn’t there.</p><p>It wasn’t any different now too, Arthur grinned and pushed his tail down harder, gliding through the water. If he made a single swirl in addition to that, nobody saw. Apart from a small school of fish he scared off.</p><p>He never felt this happy before, this carefree. Granted, he never had a close relationship with anyone but his mother and grandmother. Family was always the closest people you could get in his colony, but he always knew that the bond between him and the mermaids in his family was always stronger than among their neighbors. His mother and her mother raised him practically alone. His father only started being interested in him when he was big enough to take on hunts. The moment he was grown enough to be turned into him.</p><p>Oh, how disappointed his father must’ve been when he realized his mate stole his place in Arthur’s life. He shouldn’t have let her and her mother raise him alone, get attached to them. When he finally decided to be a father, it was already too late. But he still tried.</p><p>He tried to get rid of everything weak the mermaids taught his son. Usually he was doing it by beating him, threatening him to give him to sharks to eat or revealing him to humans. While his early years Arthur spent being loved and taken care of, later he lived in constant fear of his father. The bastard wasn’t violent all the time but it was happening often enough to keep Arthur in check.</p><p>It wasn’t so bad. Worse came after his grandmother died. First her, then within a year, his mother passed away too. Sickness, there was nothing they could do. Two painful blows like that, one after another, was hard to bear for Arthur, especially since his father wasn’t showing any grief and definitely wasn’t going to support his son with his own.</p><p>They were alone from now on and Arthur had nowhere to run after an exhausting, often violent day with his father. There was no one waiting for him at their house, no warm welcome, no arms to hide in, no soothing words to hear.</p><p>At least he still had someone. His father was who he was but he was still a family and in the end, Arthur wasn’t alone. Until two years later when a tiger shark decided that Arthur’s father was on his territory.</p><p>Arthur was completely alone from then. He still lived in his home, among other merpeople in his colony but apart from a few condolences, no one even got close to becoming his friend. Understandable, merpeople weren’t made for company, he was the freak of nature for wanting one and he knew that.</p><p>So he lived his miserable life alone, mostly staying in his home all day. If he was leaving, it was only to get food or to the surface, looking for ships to watch humans, practice their language. He spent years like that, extremely lonely. He never understood how merpeople in his colony could live like that, without seeking the contact with one another. He was desperate for it but he knew that if he ever tried, he would be banished from the colony and he didn’t want that. As lonely as it was, at least he was seeing others every day. He could pretend he still had someone in his life.</p><p>Eventually, he banished himself. He found his bay by accident and decided it was perfect for his new home. He was safe from humans and didn’t have to worry about other merpeople who would rather stay on the bottom of the ocean than explore the coast.</p><p>He moved his things to the hiding spot near the bay and stayed there. He was still lonely and often missed his mother and grandmother but moving away from the uncomfortable atmosphere of his colony was actually a good thing. He always felt like he was suffocating there despite his gills filtering water just fine. Finally no one was giving him funny looks or treated him like a plague just because he wanted to talk a little.</p><p>Instead of spending the time with merpeople who didn’t even want to see him, Arthur started spending time with animals. He played with dolphins or seals, followed whales and turtles on their journeys through the ocean, he himself traveled south, explored the sea floor, learned how to draw and most importantly, he kept practicing human speech and just watching humans in general.</p><p>He was fascinated with them since he was little and he knew his mother and grandmother would be proud of how much he accomplished. Especially of his relationship with John.</p><p>He grinned again when thinking about the human. He couldn’t help himself, it was a natural reaction at this point. When they met for the first time he didn’t expect it would end like this. That day didn’t even look like something exciting was about to happen, it started like every other day, he woke up, ate something, visited Boadicea and was just relaxing outside of his bay when he noticed a human walking there.</p><p>Arthur watched, hoping that the human would leave soon and wasn’t going to stay there forever. As much as he liked humans, he didn’t want one in his home. He would have to move and he didn’t want that.</p><p>When John fell into the water, Arthur stayed where he was, expecting the human to swim back any moment. But when that didn’t happen for a while, and Arthur didn’t hesitate even for a moment, he rushed towards him. He knew he was risking his own safety, John could kill him but Arthur couldn’t just leave him without help. Not when John was already close to passing out.</p><p>So he dragged the human back to the surface and put him on land, in shallow water, making sure John was still breathing. It was done, he helped, now he could hide and wait for the human to leave. Only he couldn’t force himself to do so now that he was so close to a human, closer than ever.</p><p>So he watched John, waiting for him to wake up and to escape the moment the human would open his eyes. This plan went to hell too when John did wake up, sounding like he was dying anyway. Arthur spoke then, talking to a human for the first time.</p><p>He was happy to practice his knowledge on a real human and John seemed nice, if a little confused. When the man started getting suspicious, Arthur decided to take the risk and showed himself, all of himself, teeth and all. John, unsurprisingly, got scared and instantly reached for his gun that Arthur was wise to hide earlier. But even with it, he had a feeling that John wouldn’t shoot him.</p><p>Maybe he was just being a fool that would’ve ended dead if it weren’t for someone else shooting up on the cliff, but John wasn’t giving any signs that he was planning to shoot to kill. He was scared, terrified even but Arthur wasn’t trying to be very threatening, even with his fangs on full display. John sure saw that, even if his initial reaction was to fight or flight, like in every animal’s case. Even a day later he was sure Arthur was going to eat him then and there but deep down he just had to know he wasn’t in any danger.</p><p>He wouldn’t have shot.</p><p>Or it was just Arthur telling himself that because he was desperate for a friend.</p><p>The risk paid off, because he got a friend, even if John fought him on this at first. Arthur thought he was going to burst with joy when John called him his friend, meaning what he said. He never felt as happy as then. But he was always happy when John was around. It was a little scary how fast he got attached to the human. It wasn’t wise, at least when John still wasn’t on the same page as him in terms of their friendship, he was risking getting his heart broken and returning to his lonely days would’ve been more painful than being burned by jellyfish.</p><p>But everything ended well and it was so easy to get close to John. The human, while a little wary at the beginning, was really friendly and kind. Joking with him and about him was always making Arthur laugh or being close to it.</p><p>John also had a talent to speak about the human world in a way that was captivating Arthur even more, and he could spend hours just listening to John speaking about his species.</p><p>John liked to share his knowledge about humans and Arthur couldn’t be more grateful for it. He was always excited about what John would show him the next, what interesting object from a human world he would bring.</p><p>To pay back for that knowledge and experiences, he spoke about merpeople and they learned together about each other. Arthur especially liked when John was talking about his friends from the gang. He was always smiling more then and was more cheery.</p><p>Arthur loved watching him this happy, it was always making him giddy and his heart speeding up. Not that it needed much to start racing in Arthur’s chest. John simply arriving in the bay was enough to make it skip a beat and for a wide grin to appear on Arthur’s face.</p><p>His life wasn’t that exciting, but even if it was, he just knew that spending time with John would still be the best part of the day. He liked the human so much it sometimes hurt, making his chest weirdly tight. He couldn’t ask for a better friend, someone who was willing to listen to him, who showed his support and was so open with him. John even accepted him eating human corpses. In front of his eyes! He was so scared then that John would turn away from him but he didn’t. He accepted this as a part of Arthur’s nature and stayed, acting the same, still smiling friendly at him.</p><p>Arthur loved those smiles.</p><p>And he missed them a lot when John didn’t show up one day without a warning. He wasn’t worried then yet, it happened once already, he was sure John was kept by his gang and just couldn’t come. But then he didn’t show up the next day. And another and Arthur started to worry. The longer John was absent, the more terrified Arthur was becoming. He didn’t know what happened, why John wouldn’t come after last night when he called Arthur his friend.</p><p>Arthur was heartbroken, then scared, then heartbroken again. It was days of jumping from one emotion to the other; agitated swimming around in worry and apathetic lying on the bottom of the bay, listening and hoping that he would hear John shouting to him. He imagined it so much he at first thought he was hallucinating when it really happened.</p><p>But then he swam to the surface and noticed John standing there, in the flesh, alive and well.</p><p>Mostly well.</p><p>Arthur didn’t think about the possibility of John having any injury, even if one of the scenarios that was coming to his head through the whole week was John getting hurt somehow and that was the reason he wasn’t visiting.</p><p>He forgot all about that in that moment because the relief took over any remains of the fear and anger he felt for the past few days. He was so happy to finally see John after so long all he could think of was to hug him. So he did, knocking the human over and clinging to him desperately, glad when the man didn’t vanish and he felt a steady rhythm of his heart beating in his chest.</p><p>Arthur never wanted to leave those arms.</p><p>John came back. He didn’t stop coming willingly, he really got hurt. Arthur still didn’t understand how he survived something that could kill with one shot but he wasn’t going to question it. His friend was alive and he came back. Arthur could breathe again.</p><p>He never wanted to experience anything like that again. He never felt more scared and he had few near death experiences in his life. He was always scared of his father, a giant squid almost ate him one day, he was mistook for a whale once and shot at with harpoon, few people almost caught the sight of him when he was following ships but he never was as scared as at the prospect of losing John, whatever be it by John’s death or by him leaving. He had no idea what would hurt more and he never wanted to find out.</p><p>Few dolphins joined him on his way to the place where he could find the plant for John’s wound. It was healing nicely, also because of Arthur’s care, he was tending the wound every day, John didn’t even have to ask, the plants were always ready and all the man needed to do was take off his shirt for Arthur to apply the healing liquid.</p><p>He shivered at the thought of touching the man again. When they were comparing the scars, he didn’t expect to like feeling John’s skin under his fingers so much. Or be touched in return. Whenever John touched him, his whole body was jolting or tensing for a second before relaxing completely, with a feeling of content settling deep inside him, even in his bones.  </p><p>John’s touch was warm like rays of sun and gentle as the breeze coming from the ocean. Arthur liked that and wished it wasn’t ending so quickly every time. John touched him sometimes without a reason, after their scar comparison even more so than before. He touched Arthur’s shoulder, his wrist, always leaving his skin with goosebumps and carving for more. He touched in return and it seemed to have the same effect John had on him.</p><p>There was a lot of touching between them and it always felt natural and nice, ever since they first started out of curiosity. </p><p>And then there were the hugs. So far they only hugged three times and Arthur loved every single one of them. He wished John’s clothes weren’t in the way, he wanted to feel the man’s warm body pressed against his but he wouldn’t dare to ask. Humans seemed to like having their clothes on all the time. But even with that barrier, those hugs were something and Arthur cherished his memories of them. John smelled so nice every time, like the earth, if that even had a smell. A little bit like Old Boy too. And even through clothes Arthur could always feel the pleasant warmth of his body, the muscles hidden under the skin. But the best part was those strong arms tightening around him almost protectively as if John wanted to keep him like that forever.</p><p>Arthur wanted that too but they had no other choice but to separate each time. He itched for another hug but didn’t know if it would be appropriate to ask for one. Or give one without asking.  </p><p>Dolphins were playful like always, nudging him and swirling around him. He humored them by racing them, even though he was slower than them and was bound to lose. Still, he played with them a few minutes, even jumping out of the water with them, happy to release some of the joy he was feeling before his meeting with John. </p><p>Dolphins got bored eventually and swam away. The ocean was a lively place so he wasn’t left alone. Fish swam around and some animals were walking on the bottom, looking for scraps to eat. He saw a shark in the distance, a pretty big one but the animal ignored him, content in swimming his own way.</p><p>Arthur followed the currents and after another few minutes, he reached the place where he could find the needed plant. Usually he always kept some by the bay but since he used it all on John by now, he needed to stock up again.</p><p>He dived deeper, feeling the water tightening around him a little but it was nothing he couldn’t handle. The flat bottom was covered entirely with various seaweeds. If he didn’t know what he was looking for, he would’ve got confused by the amount of plants growing there.</p><p>Swimming closer, he started looking for the right weed. Last time he was here there was more of it but this close to the colony, it wasn’t surprising someone else was collecting the plants as well. Luckily it was growing very fast so they didn’t have to be afraid of losing their main source of it.</p><p>He swam around a little, cutting off the biggest leaves whenever he found the right plant. With how fast the wound was healing he didn’t need much, John should be perfectly fine in the next few days but Arthur wanted to have supplies just in case.</p><p>He was almost done when he noticed movement on his left. He quickly turned into that direction and noticed a mermaid doing the same as him. They looked at each other, the female was frowning, clearly surprised by his presence just as much as he was by hers. He recognized her and her bright, orange tail, she was from his colony. Not that he expected to meet a merperson from a different colony, that never happened, the ocean was just too big. Even during his journeys south he never met any.</p><p>Arthur could sense that the mermaid didn’t want him to be here, she probably expected to be alone and he was ruining her plans. She was still looking at him with contempt all over her face. That wasn’t anything new, his whole colony was looking at him like that since he remembered. Same with his mother and grandmother. They were always treated like freaks by other merpeople.</p><p>Normally, they would greet each other like any other merpeople but Arthur could already tell that the friendly approach would do nothing. So he put the scowl on his face and his chest resonated with a deep, booming rumble.</p><p>
  <b> <em>What are you looking at?</em> </b>
</p><p>The mermaid scowled back and even showed her fangs.</p><p><b> <em>Don’t talk to me</em> </b>, she answered with a whistling sound and turned around, quickly swimming from one plant to another, picking up the best leaves so he couldn’t have it. Luckily for him, he was already done. He could use some more leaves but he wasn’t going to stay here any longer.</p><p>He swam away, keeping his leaves safely tucked in a small bag he had with him. Time to get back home, he still had some things to do, like catch some fish for his dinner with John. He tried to catch a different species every time so the human could try something new every day. Just like John was bringing him new food.</p><p>Arthur had to admit, human food was very appealing. It was a little strange that almost everything had to be cooked but he liked the idea of mixing different ingredients together to create a meal. Merpeople weren’t doing it much, if at all. There was just no need, at most they sometimes ate fish and some seaweeds together but other than that, they just ate everything alone.</p><p>He was getting hungry thinking of food, he would have to catch something for breakfast as well after catching a fish for John. But first thing first, getting the plants to his secret place.</p><p>It wasn’t very far from the bay, just a few minutes of swim. He would keep it in the bay itself but there wasn’t a good place to hide it and he wasn’t convinced that no merperson would ever find his bay. In fact, he was pretty sure the whole colony knew about it and was just avoiding it because of him. Good. He didn’t need any guest anyway, just one.</p><p>Upon reaching his hiding spot, he discovered it wasn’t as empty as he left it. Just as he moved the rock covering the hole, something tried to attack his hand but he moved it just in time, cursing in his head.</p><p>Arthur moved away and looked inside, finding an eel looking back at him, its jaws open and ready to attack again. <em> Oh, com on </em> , he thought, irritated. <em> That’s my place, find your own </em>.</p><p>The eel remained in place and Arthur wondered what he should do. He wasn’t fond of the idea of attacking it, eels were faster than him and they could bite very hard. He could too but not nearly as fast.</p><p><em> How did you get inside anyway? </em> It probably slipped through the gap he was always leaving in his hideout, the worst he had ever found there before was a crab, which was very much welcomed, he would never refuse a free food. This was the first time he found an eel there.</p><p>Looking around, he searched for something to scare the eel away with it, something long but there wasn’t anything like it. If he could, he would’ve huffed right now. Instead, he just turned around and swam back to the bay. Leaving his bag in the water, he climbed on the rock belt and got to the beach where a few sticks were laying, left there by John yesterday. Arthur smiled, remembering their dinner from the last evening and how much John was complaining about clams Arthur brought him to eat. The human just didn’t appreciate sea food at all. Ungrateful bastard.</p><p>Arthur returned with the stick to the water, disappointed that the eel was still there. Thankfully a few pokes with a stick was enough to scare it away. He moved out of its way to not get attacked and when he was sure the eel was gone, he finally hid the plants, looking at other stuff he was keeping there. It was mostly human creations found on ships or beaches. He liked collecting some of them but ever since he met John, he was keeping it mostly for him, in case the man would want some of it to bring to his gang like he said he needed to sometimes. So Arthur had some valuable stuff ready if John ever needed them. If he would ever admit to that. He was so reluctant to accept the pearls already even though he deserved to get something back for his generosity.</p><p>John already did so much to him, spending almost all days with him, bringing him gifts because he wanted to. Arthur had a few things in his possession that were important to him, mostly stuff left by his mother and grandmother, but none were as precious as the compendium, his own journal, the chest that John made sure was safe from being flooded or the bets of gifts, an opportunity to meet Old Boy, a real horse.</p><p>Arthur was sure he would never be able to repay the human for all of this but he was also sure John wasn’t expecting him too. Because John cherished their time together just like Arthur, and as much as he liked getting those gifts from the human, he didn’t need them to enjoy his friendship with him. And he knew John felt the same way, because he saw him smile many times whenever they learned each other’s writings or John taught him how to read. He felt how relaxed John was every time they were sketching in their respective journals, sitting side by side, Arthur’s tail and John’s legs in the water, touching constantly. Getting to know each other better, trying each other’s food and learning together were the best gifts they could give themselves. Petting Old Boy and looking at animal’s illustrations was fun, but just sitting next to John and talking was much better.</p><p>Still, Arthur wanted to give something back, even if just to see John smile just like he was smiling every time the human was giving him something. He didn’t have any practical gifts like the ones John gave him, but he still hoped John would like the gold compass he once found.</p><p>Arthur liked gold, it was shiny and pretty, and unlike other metal stuff, it was never covered by strange greenish or orange things. Humans liked gold too, he saw them wearing it so John would surely appreciate getting something made with gold.</p><p>If only he would accept it. He said it would be too suspicious to bring things from the ocean to the gang but he could always keep it for himself. Then again, John would probably say it was too expensive of a gift and refused.</p><p>Arthur really wanted to give him something just like John was giving him. Bringing him fish for dinner every day could hardly be called gifts. Maybe he could draw him something? Or craft something else using those few tools merpeople had. That wasn’t expensive and it would be something he made himself, much more meaningful and closer to what John gave him so far than something Arthur simply found because some ship sunk a hundred years ago. And a drawing was something John could enjoy. Arthur wasn’t an expert but he knew what compass was needed for and he was pretty sure John didn’t need one. Or sextant. Or some old coins. Or jewelry, because he wasn’t wearing any. Those he could give his gang, but a personal gift need to be just that – personal. It needs to be a special object or an experience, like meeting Boadicea, even though it was really an accident. John really liked her and most importantly, enjoyed the tricks Arthur taught her and never showed anyone else. He shared something personal with the human, gave him something special to enjoy and he wanted to do it again. He didn’t have many ideas yet but he had no doubt they would come eventually and he would show John how much their friendship meant to him.</p><p>Something fluttered in Arthur’s stomach then and he felt warm despite the cold water surrounding him. Deciding it was just an excitement, he covered the hole of his hiding place, making sure that anything bigger than a crab wouldn’t sneak in and swam away.</p><p>Time to catch some fish.</p><p>But before that, he visited Boadicea. She and other seals were living on the coast but spent most of the time in the water. There were many of them swimming around, some playing, some heading towards the open ocean to hunt. Arthur avoided bumping into any seals as he swam around, both underwater and on the surface, waiting for Boadicea to notice him.</p><p>Eventually she did and swam towards him, barking excited. Arthur grinned at her and patted her head lovingly. He was aware he would soon stop seeing her. She was almost grown and ready to have pups. She wouldn’t have time to play with him anymore. He would still visit but he doubted she would want him near her child. But until then, he was going to enjoy spending time with her. She filled his lonely days before John appeared in them and he would miss her, even if he would still have his friend.</p><p>“Want to swim a little, girl?” he asked her, regretting not taking any fish with him for her. She was less likely to perform any tricks without fish to give her after. But that was fine, they could still have fun anyway.</p><p>They left the other sea lions – what a dumb name – and entered the open ocean. Boadicea swam around him, bumping him with her nose and just having fun. He followed her, repeating every figure she was doing underwater. Arthur wished John could see this and enjoy the water with them. The human would no doubt love it if he wasn't so scared.</p><p>It was funny how he was panicking at the mention of swimming or something dangerous living in the ocean. Maybe he was biased because the ocean was his home, but Arthur couldn’t understand what was scary about it. It was beautiful, especially underwater and John was missing out so much by staying away.</p><p>He would love to drag the human there, swim with him, even though he knew John would be much slower than him. That’s okay, he would keep the slow pace to let the man keep up with him. They could dive and Arthur would show him colorful fish, shells, how soft the sand was there. And if John would get scared at any point, Arthur would just hold him close to his body to make him feel safe.</p><p>Arthur’s heart swelled with warmth and he could feel the tips of his ears burning as the small smile appeared on his face at the thought of hugging John while they would swim together. With new energy, he took a swift turn and dived down only to speed up towards the surface, jumping out of water almost completely. Boadicea followed his example just as he landed back. When she joined him again, he grinned at her and scratched her neck.</p><p>“He would be so clumsy in the water,” he said to her fondly, imagining the scared expression on John’s face and how awkwardly he would swim if he could. “I suppose every human is like that, land is their home, not water, but John would be especially clumsy. Like you on land.”</p><p>Boadicea didn’t seem to listen to him, just enjoying the scratches. Arthur chuckled.</p><p>“I really would like to bring him here one day. He would like it.” He had no doubt about it, John could complain about the water all he wanted but when he would see the true beauty of the ocean, he would fall in love. No amount of fear he would feel would be able to cover the amazement he would experience from watching life underwater.</p><p>Arthur had so much to show him there, so many amazing animals for him to meet. He wouldn’t be able to show him everything, even if he could swim, John wouldn’t be able to hold his breath long enough to dive to a sunken ship or to explore some underwater caves. But he would still see plenty that the ocean has to offer.</p><p>Arthur dived again and twirled in joy, not being able to stop himself, or his grin from growing when he was thinking more and more about what he and John could do together in the water. Or what they could do on land if he could only walk. According to John, the land was big. Not as big as the ocean but still pretty big, full of forests, plains, swamps, jungles, deserts, both sand and ice ones. Animals were roaming everywhere, on land, in rivers and above in the skies. There were small cozy towns and big cities where thousands of people lived together. Mountains so tall they seemed to reach the clouds and canyons splitting the earth in two.</p><p>He wanted to see it all one day, he wanted for a while but he just knew it was impossible. Sometimes he wished he was fully human, not only in part. Or at least could have legs at night or something. But living in the ocean that had just as much diversity and no one really knew where the bottom was and how deep, was amazing as well. That’s why he wanted to show it to John, share his home with him. It would be an amazing gift for the human, one that he would surely enjoy and appreciate. Arthur really wanted John too like the ocean, his home.</p><p>And it would be another great way to spend the time together, make John smile.</p><p>Arthur would never get tired of seeing various smiles on John’s face. Cocky, joyous, warm or shy, it didn’t matter, they were all making Arthur’s heart go crazy in a nice way. He especially liked the shy smile whenever John was embarrassed by something or didn’t know how to react to Arthur’s kind word. He was always blushing then too and that combination, it was making Arthur feel so many emotions at once he felt lightheaded, like he was swimming but above the water.</p><p>One of the emotions he felt then he could pick up easily.</p><p>Pride.</p><p>He was proud that he was capable of making John like this. The human seemed so confident since the first day they met. He was always walking like he owned the place, head held high, strong steps. But when met with a nice word from Arthur he was turning into a blubbering mess and Arthur felt so smug about this every time.</p><p>Unfortunately, or fortunately really, Arthur wasn’t ashamed of that, John had the same effect on him. Arthur was never a person that blushed much, probably because he didn’t have much chance, especially as an adult, but even as a child when his mother and grandmother tried to embarrass him, he was rarely blushing. All John needed to do was smile at him a certain way and Arthur could already feel his face coloring with pink. And those smiles weren't even embarrassing, he was blushing because he was so goddamn happy every time John was sending a smile his way.</p><p>At this point Arthur was sure John had more control over his body than Arthur himself. And he was okay with that.</p><p>Boadicea helped him hunt. She was hungry too so she wasn’t doing it selflessly but Arthur was sure she wouldn’t do it for any other merperson. After her belly got full, she returned to the beach to rest with other seals. Arthur got back to his bay to hide two fish for later.</p><p>He still needed to find something for himself, he was in a mood for an octopus so he roamed near the bottom, trying to find one hiding with its camouflage or squeezed into an impossible small space. He was having no luck so far when his nose picked up a faint smell of blood in the water.</p><p>Human blood.</p><p>Curious, he followed the scent south, getting his teeth ready for a fight. Humans blood might as well belong to a merperson, they were pretty much identical. If two merfolks were having a fight, Arthur wanted to be ready. Just like he wanted to be ready to fight another scavenger if some animal was by the body already.</p><p>The smell led him close to the coast, it was becoming stronger the closer to the land Arthur was getting. Finally, he saw the body, floating not far from the coast. One shark was already circling nearby but so far he didn’t touch the body.</p><p>Arthur swam closer, watching through the mirror of the surface if any human was on the beach. The coast seemed clear so he emerged from the water, scaring a seagull that was trying to peck the dead man’s eyes out. Arthur immediately noticed a hole in his head, someone killed the poor fella with a shot to the head.</p><p>Arthur shuddered. John could’ve died like that. He got the same wound, only on a different part of the body. The human told him a shot to the head is an instant kill and that’s what happened in this case.</p><p>As always, Arthur checked the pockets of the dead person. Usually there was something in them, some weird green papers, a pack of cigarettes, coins or a watch but this time they were empty.</p><p>“Someone robbed you, huh?” Arthur asked, keeping an eye on the shark that was getting closer. It was a big one, a men eater as humans liked to call them, even though Arthur yet had to see one eating a human. Or a merperson for that matter. He only ever saw them eating seals like Boadicea. Men eaters were rather harmless but not when food was involved, Arthur didn’t want to get bitten, even as a warning.</p><p>He ripped the shirt from the dead man's shoulder and bit into it, tearing the flesh. With how sharp his fangs were and how strong the bite was, getting to the bone didn’t take long. Arthur then dragged the body under water and carefully swam towards the shark that was already heading his way. <em> Just don’t bite me </em> , he begged in his mind, watching as the shark was getting closer. <em> I know we look similar but I’m not that tasty. </em></p><p>Arthur liked sharks, really, but watching them feed was always a little scary. It’s because of their teeth. John was saying Arthur’s were scary, he clearly never saw a shark opening its jaws like the one here right now.</p><p>Maneuvering the body the right way, Arthur allowed the shark to bite the arm. Dozens of sharp teeth closed around the limb, and because of Arthur's previous work, ripped it off no problem. While the shark was distracted, Arthur quickly swam away with the body in tow, heading back towards his home. He could swim faster than sharks but not while dragging the body behind himself.</p><p>Thankfully, the men eater was satisfied with a hand and didn’t follow. No other shark showed up, or other animals, and Arthur safely arrived in the bay. He took the body to the shallow water and undressed it to start eating. Human meat wasn’t in his plan today but since he found one, he wasn’t going to just ignore it. He was just hoping he was going to finish before John would arrive. While the human had no problem with Arthur eating human corpses, he probably didn’t want to see it so Arthur had to hurry. He had no idea when John would arrive after all, but it was getting close to the usual time he visited for the last few days. John said he was eating breakfast with his friends and after doing a chore or two around the camp, he would then get to the bay to spend the rest of the day here.</p><p>Arthur opened the chest cavity with his claws and broke the ribs to get to the liver and the heart. He ate both and was just biting off the meat from the cheeks of the man(he only did that when they were clean shaven, he hated hair in his food) when a cheerful greeting sounded from the top of the path leading to the bay.</p><p>“Hi, Art!”</p><p>God damn it. How did John know when to catch Arthur eating human corpse?</p><p>Wait. Art?</p><p>Arthur turned towards John who seemed to be in a very good mood. He was grinning widely despite once again witnessing Arthur eating a dead body. He must have noticed by now what it was and he didn’t even blink. If it bothered him, the joy he was feeling must’ve silenced any disgust.</p><p>The heart in Arthur’s heart continued to beat fast but not because of getting caught. He probably looked horrible with his fangs covered in blood that was also slipping down his chin, he should’ve washed before returning the smile but it was already too late. He smiled, both because of John’s arrival and because of the nickname the human used.</p><p>Art. He liked it.</p><p>And he liked that big grin on John’s face. Even from afar he could see the man beaming. Arthur couldn’t tear his eyes away from him and his sparkling dark eyes. God, he was beautiful, even with scars.</p><p>Arthur blushed, feeling as he was floating.  </p><p>As John got closer, Arthur’s body started filling with familiar warmth and his fins were almost shaking with excitement. </p><p>“Hi,” he replied a little dumbly. It took him forever, John already walked down all the way down and was standing on the sand, just a couple of feet from Arthur who still held the dead body, not interested in eating it anymore, his attention solely on the man in front of him.</p><p>John’s smile grew and Arthur’s could swear his heart was trying to escape and reach the human.    </p><p>He wondered then.</p><p>Was he in love?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I was provoked to write this. </p><p>Is it cheating to reveal that Arthur is in love? I think not, those idiots are too obvious. Everyone and their mothers know already.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. The Storm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the long chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John was eager to visit Arthur today. It wasn’t anything new but it was a little bit different this time. It took him a few days but he finally found a horse that would be able to carry the merman on his back. A ranch a little bit to the east had a huge Breton. There was no better horse for this job than this – it wasn’t the tallest, Shires were taller, but it was massive, with sturdy legs and strong back muscles able to carry enormous weights. Of course those horses had their limits like any other, but Bretons’ limits were just higher than any other work horse.</p><p>And the horse on the ranch looked just perfect. John watched it from afar so far, through the binoculars, but he had no doubt it would be able to carry Arthur for a few minutes. It wouldn’t be the most perfect horse ride in the world but Arthur would surely like it just the same, even without trotting, galloping or jumping.</p><p>Shortly after the breakfast, John packed everything he would need for today. He wasn't going to just give Arthur a ride on a horse, he was also bringing alcohol for him for the first time. He had no idea if merpeople could drink but even a sip would be something new and exciting for Arthur. John hoped it wouldn’t kill the merman on the spot.</p><p>“You leaving again?”</p><p>John turned to Dutch who approached him, stopping a few steps from him. Leaning against the hitching post, the older man smoked a cigar and watched John filling his saddle bags. Thankfully whisky was already packed, because that would raise some questions from the leader.</p><p>“Yeah,” John answered lightly and faced the other man. “Will be gone all day.”</p><p>“I knew you would say that,” Dutch pointed out. John shifted uncomfortable under his gaze. “Don’t you think you should slow down? You hadn’t been out of bed even for two weeks yet.”</p><p>“I’m fine,” he assured and patted himself on the wound. The wound that was healing faster than it normally would. Arthur’s plant was working like a miracle. “I’m almost healed completely, Reverend just needs to remove the stitches.”</p><p>Dutch’s forehead wrinkled with a frown.</p><p>“You still shouldn’t push yourself,” he said worryingly. “One accident and the wound can open again.”</p><p>“I’m careful. I’m not working or anything, I just rest most of the time.”</p><p>He and Arthur were spending most of the days just sitting on the beach and talking or learning together. John was proud of how many merpeople’s symbols he already remembered, along with their alphabet. Maybe he wouldn’t be able communicate with any other merperson than Arthur, but they would definitely understand him if he would say anything to them.</p><p>“Speaking of work.” Dutch took a big drag of his cigar then continued. “I was thinking that with you leaving so often, you will be bringing more goods for the gang.”</p><p>“You just told me to take it easy and now you have a problem with me not bringing money to the camp?” John asked, a little snappier than he should but Dutch surprised him.</p><p>“It was happening even before you got shot,” Dutch reminded him.</p><p>“I brought pearls.”</p><p>“And?”</p><p>John didn’t have anything more to add. “Was robbery not enough?” he asked, getting a little tense. He never liked when he was being interrogated. It always felt like he was being accused of something and he didn’t like it either.</p><p>“Oh it was plenty, but that money went for the future, we still need food and supplies right now, John.” Dutch didn’t need to explain that to him, he knew how it all worked, he just thought that such a big success that was robbing the army would give him some slack. Especially since he got shot during it.</p><p>It’s not that he hated working for the gang or was lazy, he just had more important things on his mind right now. Others could supply the camp as well.</p><p>“There are plenty of other people to bring money too,” he brought that up right away.</p><p>“And that gives you the excuse to not work yourself?” John hanged his head, ashamed. Damn it, he had no time to rob some fools. “Everyone is working right now, especially Micah.”</p><p>John stopped himself from sighing in irritation. Of course Micah was working the hardest, that bootlicker.</p><p>“What about me?”</p><p>This time John gave up and sighed. Micah was what he needed right now. He watched as the older man dismounted his horse and joined them. John didn’t even know the man was gone from the camp.</p><p>“I was just telling John he should work harder.”</p><p>“I was shot,” he reminded both of them. Did Dutch forget how he started this conversation?</p><p>“If you feel good enough to leave every day, you feel good enough to work,” Dutch noticed, looking at him with disappointment. “You said it yourself, you feel fine.”</p><p>“Yeah, because I ain’t overworking myself,” he justified himself, raising his voice a little. “And I help around the camp too, so I'm not sitting on my ass.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Micah snickered. “You help for an hour and then you’re gone, doing god knows what.”</p><p>“Shut up, Micah, this ain’t about you,” John growled. Micah only smirked.</p><p>“John, behave,” Dutch scolded him like some dog. “I agree with Micah.” John opened his mouth to protest but Dutch stopped him. “I’m not saying you should rob another stagecoach or a train, I’m still worried you’re pushing yourself too hard, but I won’t believe you can’t rob some drunk idiot in this county. Or some wealthy lady. Just threaten them with a gun and they will give you anything they have.”</p><p>Sure, it was that easy and he could do it even if the wound was in a worse shape. He just didn’t have time. Or want to do that. It would mean less time spent with Arthur and he was already feeling bad for leaving the merman every night.  </p><p>“I’ll try,” he promised, wanting this conversation to just end so he could leave already. He needed to get a Breton first before going to the bay.</p><p>Micah felt the need to add some more words nobody asked him for. “It’s not hard, Marston,” he said, looking smug with himself. John wanted to hate him for being happy with Dutch’s compliments but he always acted the same so he bit himself in the tongue to stop some witty insult he was tempted to throw. “I just got back from robbing some fool and look what I’ve got.” Micah pulled a gold watch from the pocket of his vest and showed it to both him and Dutch. “Fella had five dollars with him too.”</p><p>“I hope you didn’t show him your face.”</p><p>“I'm a professional, cowpoke.” Micah twirled the chain of the watch on his finger. “Even if the guy saw my face, he ain’t telling nobody. He sleeps with the fishes now.”</p><p>“We was supposed to lay low after the robbery.” John looked at Dutch, waiting for him to scold Micah now for being irresponsible. “We can’t just kill folks now.”</p><p>“He was attacking me.” John doubted that. “What was I supposed to do, let him kill me?”</p><p>“I'm sure Micah did everything he could to avoid killing,” Dutch said, looking at them both.</p><p>“Are we talking about the same man?” John asked, dumbfounded.</p><p>“Why are you trying to start conflict so much, John?” Dutch asked and shook his head in disappointment. “Micah is trying, you should take an example from him.”</p><p>John gritted his teeth, wanting to punch not only Micah and his smug mug, but Dutch as well. “Over my dead body.”</p><p>Turning around, he quickly climbed Old Boy and rode off before anyone could say anything more to him. He couldn’t relax even when he was far away from the camp, on his way to get the Breton. When did Micah become Dutch’s favorite? Did Dutch really couldn’t see that this slime man was trying to have him wrapped around his finger? And why was he allowed to kill people like that? If it was John, Dutch would be furious for putting the gang in danger, but Micah was ‘doing everything he could’.</p><p>And what was it about Dutch worrying about him one second and then demanding him to work next? Hosea never said a thing during those last four days since he first left the camp after getting shot. Dutch himself seemed to have no problem with John coming back with nothing but suddenly it was a problem. It was probably Micah’s fault, that rat started to go out every day, coming back with something every time. He bragged about it in the evenings while everyone was around the fire. He acted like he was bringing fortune every time while it was just a few dollars or some cheap trinket like an old ring. But apparently it was enough to make Dutch go crazy and treat the man like he was the only one working hard.</p><p>Well, John couldn’t say about himself that he was working, and being wounded wasn't the only reason for that, it wasn't even the main reason, but still. When he was working hard before Blackwater and Micah was sitting on his ass, Dutch had no problem with that. Only now it became one, when it was John doing nothing.</p><p>It was probably about John’s great potential again, Dutch just didn’t want him to stagnate, but in John’s opinion, he deserved weeks of lazing around after all those years of hard work. He worked for the gang since he was twelve, he was twenty six now and he deserved some goddamn break. He brought the pearls, he planned the robbery that gave them a lot of money, so what if he didn’t bring anything for a while now? They weren’t starving yet and if he wanted, he could bring something really valuable. All he needed to do was ask Arthur for some treasure from the sunken ship. He didn’t want to do it, use the merman like that, even if Arthur said it was fine, but John could have no choice soon and robbing someone in town was too risky. He wasn't an idiot like Micah. He killed a man for five dollars, Jesus Christ. That wasn’t only stupid, that was just wrong.</p><p>If John could avoid unnecessary killing or robbing, he was going to do that. He was visiting the town sometimes, if he would start robbing people and someone would recognize him, he would get into trouble and they would have to move. He would have to leave Arthur behind. So asking the merman to pull something from the bottom of the ocean was a safer option, even if John felt bad with asking, and bringing sunken treasure was suspicious.</p><p>Getting to the ranch took him half an hour and after, he needed to wait a couple of more minutes for people to clear off so he could steal a horse. He was counting that the Breton was one of those horses that trusted every person and didn’t let only its owner to lead it. Otherwise he could end up dead. One kick from those powerful legs and his bones would turn into powder.</p><p>At first he planned to rent the horse but he didn’t want to pay. He was an outlaw after all. So he decided to steal the horse with a promise to give it back later. Because in addition to being an outlaw, he was also a good man. Goodish. He certainly wasn't going to heaven but maybe the deepest pit of hell wasn't waiting for him either.</p><p>When there were no people around the pen where the Breton was held, John sneaked closer. It was still early but people on the ranch always wake up at ungodly hours. He should’ve stolen that horse last night while everyone was asleep. But then his friends would ask why he stole such a huge horse and what he was going to do with it.</p><p>Avoiding questions was hard, so was coming up with potential lies about Arthur, but keeping the merman safe after everyone would find out about him would be much harder, so instead of complaining about the circumstances, John just did what he did best. Stole the horse and the proper saddle, and left a note saying that he would return everything later that day.</p><p>Breton was very friendly and after giving it some sugar cubes, it gladly followed John out of the pen and then out of the ranch. Once they left a fence behind, John climbed the big animal and rode off. He never rode such a huge horse, the back was really wide, perfect to put a merman’s tail on it so it wouldn’t be dragged on the ground.</p><p>John hid among the trees where he left Old Boy. He switched horses then and after tying Breton to a saddle – a mare as he noticed – he started the ride to the bay. Because he didn’t want to tire the mare before her ride with Arthur, he decided to keep the slow pace and both horses trotted one after another. He only sped up a little when he could already see the forest where the entrance to the bay was hidden. He was too impatient and he just had to get them there faster. It was a good warm up for the Breton anyway.</p><p>Surprisingly, he wasn’t even that much late, just half an hour later than yesterday. Probably because he left the camp earlier. After stopping in the usual place, John left both horses on the cliff for now and entered the bay alone. He wanted to be sure he wasn't interrupting Arthur in any way.</p><p>When he passed the branches of the trees, he saw Arthur in the waters of the bay, eating a dead body again. This time John was ready for it and didn’t react with shock or even disgust. He barely blinked at the body, focusing on Arthur’s back instead.  </p><p>The merman was curled over his food a little, exposing his well-defined back in the process. Whenever he moved his arms, the muscles flexed under his skin and that sight was making John feel a little bit hot inside. He wanted to hug Arthur to feel those muscles under his hands again, feel them working, maybe scratch them a little when…</p><p>Before his thoughts could wander into the wrong direction, John tried to focus on the body and all the blood turning the water red. But how could he, when Arthur was there? His skin was tanned slightly, his dirty blond hair that grew since they met for the first time, were dissolved a little, with water dripping from them onto his back, down to his waist where human skin met with fish scales.</p><p>John followed with his eyes the tail submerged in the water where dark blue scales were glimmering under the surface. When Arthur shifted his tail, the color changed a little when the light hit it differently. But it was still dark, smoothly getting lighter the lower the scales were, till they were almost sky blue on the underside.</p><p>The fins near the hips were folded and rested on the sides, same as the one near the tip where the tail fin was unfolded in all its glory, wide and almost transparent, with a light blue color of the membrane spread between three thin bones. It swayed from left to right, stirring the sand on the bottom of the bay.</p><p>John never saw someone more beautiful. He saw many attractive men in his life, they had few in the camp, he would have to be blind to not notice Javier’s or Charles’s attractiveness. But Arthur was not only beautiful from the waist up, his tail was breathtaking as well and John never had enough of watching it resting in the sun or moving with elegance in the water, how scales shifted with every swipe.</p><p>Something like that should feel alien connected to a human body, but instead both parts of the merman were creating a sight that never failed to make John’s heart skip a bit or make him smile dumbly. Because Arthur was beautiful, all of him, and both inside and out. Even if there was a more beautiful merperson, with an even prettier tail, more dashing smile or joyous eyes, John didn’t care. He already found his perfection in the merman that he was sure was his best friend.</p><p>And if he was a little bit biased about this, he didn’t care either. Arthur was perfect in his eyes and nothing would change that, ever.</p><p>“Hi, Art!” he shouted to get Arthur's attention. He didn’t know where the nickname came from, he never used it before but it just slipped past his lips. It felt right. Darling or sunshine would sound better but he didn’t know how much Arthur knew about humans showing affection, and John didn’t want to test his luck. It was still too early, in his opinion, to admit his feelings. Even if during the last  four days Arthur was showing a behavior that was far from being platonic.</p><p>The merman turned sharply to him, clearly surprised by being caught eating a human. Again. John didn’t want to spook him but he also couldn’t help but be endeared by how adorable Arthur looked while shocked. He froze like a deer, black eyes open wide and mouth full of fangs, blood dripping from his chin.</p><p>And then the merman smiled and John felt a painful tug in his heart that was screaming at him to throw himself into the water and kiss him despite all the blood, despite the fangs.</p><p>He stopped himself and calmly walked further down, stopping just at the edge of the water. From this close, he could see Arthur was blushing, which made John wondering if waiting god knows how long even had any sense. No one blush at the sight of someone if there are no feelings involved.</p><p>His thoughts were stirred in other directions when a gravelly voice reached his ears when Arthur finally greeted him back. “Hi,” he said simply and John smiled wider.</p><p>Arthur blinked and his eyes appeared blue. For a moment, there was something in them but it was replaced by joy so quickly John couldn’t take a closer look. It escaped his mind shortly after anyway, he had more important matters at hand.</p><p>“You uh…” John looked at the body behind the merman. He didn’t ask how the poor fella died because he trusted Arthur that he just found the body. “You almost done?”</p><p>He was going to bring the horse down right away but he was willing to wait if Arthur needed to finish breakfast.</p><p>A little surprised by John’s lack of reaction that should be mandatory while witnessing someone eating a human corpse, Arthur glanced back at the body. John noticed one of the cheeks was eaten out and the chest cavity was already open, with broken ribs sticking out at weird angles. It was also missing an arm for some reason. If he wasn’t used to seeing bodies like that, he would’ve puked, but he witnessed Colm leaving bodies in worst shapes, this wasn't even that bad.</p><p>“Almost,” he confirmed, still a little unsure if it was okay for him to just eat a dead body like that in front of John. He pointed hesitantly at the face of a dead man. “I still have the other cheek to eat and maybe thighs. Depends if I still will be hungry.”</p><p>John nodded, understanding. His relaxed stance helped the merman relax as well. Arthur smiled again, showing his pointy teeth slightly but not fully. It looked like he didn’t remember they weren’t hidden.</p><p>“Alright, finish there, I’ll get ready,” John informed him and turned back towards the path.</p><p>“Ready for what?” Arthur asked, curious.</p><p>John looked back at him and smiled mysteriously. “You’ll see. Just don’t freak out.”</p><p>Frowning, Arthur watched him till John disappeared up on the cliff again. He checked on Breton that, uncertain of the forest around them, stayed close to Old Boy. The gelding, already used to the area, was happily rubbing his flank against the bark of one of the trees to scratch some itch.</p><p>John petted both horses and got to his saddle, pulling out a bottle of whisky and cans with food for later. He carried them down to the bay, noticing that Arthur was already eating the thighs of the dead man. He got between his legs like a lover and for a short moment, John imagined himself in the same position as the dead body, only with much more innocent biting. Because even from the path, he could hear the tearing of the flesh that was being ripped from the rest of the body. While he liked the usage of teeth in the bedroom, he definitely didn’t want to be eaten in it.</p><p>After leaving everything near the chest, along with his satchel and gun belt, John turned to Arthur who was just carrying the body to the deeper water where it would be eaten by other sea creatures. Then the merman returned, his face and hands clean from blood, an excitement showing in his whole body, most noticeably, in his side fins fluttering slightly. John was founding this particular thing adorable.</p><p>“Okay, ready?” he asked the merman. “I got something big.”</p><p>He chuckled at his own joke, even if Arthur didn’t understand it and just looked at him weirdly, but smiling anyway.</p><p>“What did you get?” he asked, impatient.</p><p>“You’ll see,” John repeated. He was already excited too, he couldn’t wait to see Arthur’s face at the sight of the Breton. “Wait on the rocks, I need to go get it.”</p><p>Arthur obeyed without question but he was looking at John suspiciously when he rushed back up on the cliff. When he got there and grabbed Breton’s bridle, he wondered if it was possible to lead the mare down the path. She was wider all together than Old Boy and he was already a pretty big horse. It could turn out that he would have to find another beach for this.</p><p>“I hope you’re not scared of heights,” he said to the mare and stroked her muzzle gently.</p><p>Slowly, he led the horse towards the path. He went first and turned to face the Breton, one hand holding the brindle, the other touching the wall on his left to never side step too far to the right and fall.</p><p>The mare was a little hesitant to go through the bushes but she followed and they stepped on the path. Step by step and brushing her flank against the rocky wall, the Breton walked down, careful where she was placing her hooves but never getting scared. “Good girl,” John praised her and smiled wide. Arthur would get his ride.</p><p>Seeing that the horse was doing alright on her own, John turned so he could watch Arthur's reaction to the mare. He didn’t want to miss it and he wasn’t disappointed. It was obvious Arthur had never seen a Breton before, even from afar, because he watched the big animal with amazement, following each of her steps.</p><p>John grinned at his reaction, leading the mare further down. She didn’t react to the merman with fear like Old Boy, being this big was probably making her braver.</p><p>“Told you I got something big,” John said, proud that his surprise was a success. And it was still only the part of it! If Arthur was amazed now, he was going to be in heaven after hearing what else John had in store for him.</p><p>“It’s a huge horse.” John snorted fondly at his obviousness. “Where did you get it?”</p><p>“It’s a she,” he corrected the merman. The mare walked after him into the water and towards Arthur whose eyes were still open wide with wonder. “Unfortunately I don’t know the name. She’s a Breton Horse and-” He paused to make his friend even more curious. “- and she’s probably the only horse in many miles that is able to carry you.”</p><p>It was comical how the merman reacted. He was staring at the mare, wanting to touch her but hesitant about that, not really listening to John talking. Which in normal circumstances would be very rude but right now, it was endearing and John was smiling the entire time. Arthur had to listen at least a little, but he reacted to it with a delay, suddenly snapping his head towards John who couldn’t help but laugh at the shock on the merman’s face.</p><p>“Carry me?” Arthur repeated carefully, as if not sure he heard it right. “Like, on her back?”</p><p>John nodded. “Yeah,” he confirmed, patting the saddle. “I even got this to make it easier. She’s ready when you are.”</p><p>Arthur opened his mouth to say something but all he could do was switch his gaze from John to the mare and then back. Suddenly, his lips slowly stretched in a wide smile. It finally got to him what John just said. “Really?” he asked to be sure. John laughed again and nodded.</p><p>“Really,” he assured, watching the merman fondly, how he got even more excited than he already was. He thought John just brought him another horse to enjoy, he wasn’t ready to hear that he could ride it. “Wanna give it a try now?”</p><p>“Are you joking? Of course.” Arthur practically vibrated with excitement and the only thing stopping him from climbing the horse on his own was the lack of knowledge how to do it. But John noticed he wanted to do it, he moved in a way that could only indicate the want to jump.</p><p>“Alright.” Breton was about the same height as the rocks Arthur was sitting on so climbing should be easy. John coaxed the horse to move directly in front of the merman and told her to stay while he walked to her other side. “Okay, so it’s a special saddle for such a wide horse, but it’s not for people without legs. Or with a tail. You’ll have no way to balance on her by squeezing her so you need to be careful while on her or you’ll fall.” John made sure Arthur listened to him through his enthusiasm before continuing. “I won’t make her enter a trot or gallop so it shouldn’t sway you much while she walks but you better hold onto the saddle horn.”</p><p>Arthur nodded in understanding. “Got it. Can we start already?”</p><p>John snorted at his impatience. “Sure, hop on,” he encouraged the merman and patted the saddle in invitation. “Lay your hands on the saddle and lift himself onto it, can you do that?” Arthur nodded again. “Good. I’ll support you from this side, because I'm sure I won’t be able to lift your tail anyway. Just work on putting your ass on the saddle.”</p><p>“I don’t have an ass,” Arthur pointed out and eyed the mare worryingly. “What if she moves because I'm too heavy?”</p><p>“She’s used to heavy lifting, it’ll be fine.” Well, he wasn't sure of that but he didn’t want to scare Arthur. Not when it was something so important to him. “Besides, that’s why I’m on this side. So she wouldn’t move away from you.”</p><p>This time it was Arthur who snorted. “Like she would care that some tiny human was standing on her way.”</p><p>“Maybe she’s a nice lady and won’t want to knock me over,” John retorted sarcastically and smiled. “Come on, mount up.”</p><p>“That’s what you call it?”</p><p>“Yup. Oh wait!” he stopped the merman when he placed his hands on the saddle.</p><p>“What?” he asked,</p><p>John walked around the mare, took the hat from his head and placed it on Arthur’s. When the merman looked confused at him, John smiled cheekily at him. “Now you look like a real cowboy.”</p><p>John was sure his heart was going to explode from happiness when Arthur grinned and blushed at the same time while looking at him with joy in his blue eyes.</p><p>“Except I don’t have legs, your weird boots and… chaps, was it chaps?”</p><p>John nodded. “Well, but other than that, you look almost like you came straight from the wild west.”</p><p>“Almost,” Arthur chuckled. “Get back on the other side.”</p><p>John saluted him and got back to his spot. “Ready?”</p><p>Arthur looked nervous and tense, but also determined to do this. “My heart is pounding,” he admitted and licked his lips. </p><p>Mine too, but for a different reason, John thought and put his hands on the saddle as well, ready to assist Arthur.</p><p>He got a little distracted by Arthur's strong arms when the merman lifted himself from the rock and moved his body onto the saddle. The mare didn’t protest, she huffed but that was to be expected when something this heavy started climbing her back.</p><p>John reached with his hands and grabbed Arthur's hips when he turned himself in midair to sit on the saddle. It was a little tricky, the horse got slightly spooked when Arthur's tail slipped from the rocks and hit her on the side before dangling between her legs, but thankfully she didn’t move.</p><p>After a few more adjustments to sit more in the middle and lifting the end of his tail to hang it across the mare’s rump, Arthur was finally sitting on a horse, holding the saddle horn with both of his hands. And with John’s palms still on his hips.</p><p>John was telling himself he was doing it out of safety but Arthur’s position was steady and he didn’t need more assistance from John. He was still holding the merman because he liked the feeling of scales under his fingers.</p><p>“You good?” he asked, reluctantly taking back his hands when the merman nodded. No need to push his luck any further. Not that Arthur looked like he minded. “How is it?” Instead of answering with words, Arthur let out a long, whistling sound coming deep from his throat. “I assume you have no words to describe it?” John laughed.</p><p>Arthur let out a happy chuckle and looked at him with a big grin on his face. “I’m sitting on a horse.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“I’m a merman, we don’t have horses in the ocean.”</p><p>“I know,” he repeated, more and more captivated by Arthur’s joyful reaction.</p><p>“I was happy being able to touch the horse, I never thought I would ride one!” he exclaimed and laughed gleefully. John’s heart was soaring with him right now.</p><p>“So you like it?” he asked, his cheeks aching from all the wide smiles he gave Arthur.</p><p>“Don’t ask stupid questions, John,” the merman told him, his eyes glimmering like never before. It made John’s breath hitch and he felt a rush of affection hitting him right in the chest like a punch.</p><p>God, he was so helpless.</p><p>“Ready?” he rasped, barely able to hold Arthur's gaze. It was so full of joy and somehow it felt to John like the horse wasn’t the only thing responsible for it.    </p><p>Arthur curled his fingers tighter around the horn and shifted in the saddle, making sure he wasn’t going to slip off at any point. Part of his tail was still hanging on the side of the Breton but he couldn’t put it all on the horse’s back. Hopefully it wasn’t making any difference for the mare. “Ready.”  </p><p>“We’ll walk only for a little while, I don’t want to hurt her and I don’t know how long she can carry you,” John informed. “And like I said, no trot or gallop, hope that’s okay.”</p><p>“This is more than enough, John,” Arthur assured. His smile wasn’t as big as earlier anymore but still as bright and heartwarming.</p><p>John smiled back before finally tearing his eyes from the merman to grab the reins and look at the horse. “Let’s start then. Come on, girl.”</p><p>He clicked with his tongue and the mare moved slowly but steadily, as if the big weight on her back was nothing to her and water wasn’t putting any resistance. Old Boy wouldn’t even allow someone this heavy sit on him, he would run away instantly. But this beast? She was okay.</p><p>The moment they moved, John looked at Arthur again, curious of his reaction. He remembers his own first time on a horse, Hosea sat him on his old mare and led her by the brindle like John was leading the Breton. Even under the saddle he felt powerful muscles shifting as the horse walked elegantly.</p><p>He was in love from the first ride and he knew Arthur was too. John almost regretted coming up with this idea because that was probably the only time Arthur had an opportunity to ride a horse. Almost regretted, because when he was watching the small smile and pure amazement on the merman’s face, John knew it was worth it, even if only this once.</p><p>Arthur was astonished, there was no other word to name it. He was glowing with it, soaking in the new experience that he didn’t even dare to hope for till now. John has never seen someone so happy, and he was glad he could bring Arthur so much joy, be the cause of that contentment on his face.</p><p>Well, he and the horse, but the horse wouldn’t even be here if it wasn't for him.</p><p>“It’s amazing,” Arthur said suddenly. John didn’t expect him to be able to say anything at all while he was on a horse.</p><p>“It is, ain’t it?” he asked. “Wish I could make her trot and gallop, it’s even more amazing.”</p><p>Or sit behind Arthur as they both would ride, his arms around the merman to reach the reins. Poor horse would probably never withstand the additional two hundred pounds on her back. </p><p>“That’s fine, I’m glad I could even experience this.” Arthur looked around. “Everything looks different from a horse’s back.”</p><p>“It’s a brand new world,” John agreed, smiling softly at the merman. He looked amazing on a horse too. A little weird but still amazing. John wished he could capture this moment on the camera. He cursed himself for not bringing it with him but he used it so rarely he completely forgot about that.</p><p>Maybe he could steal that Breton another day too.</p><p>“It is.” Arthur looked down at John and smiled before looking straight ahead again. John made the mare take a turn. She was breathing a little faster already but other than that didn’t show any discomfort, she should still be good to go for a few more minutes. “I can feel her moving under me. She’s all muscles.”</p><p>“Well, maybe not all, but she has that sturdy build.” John switched reins to the other hand and patted mare’s enormous neck that was bulkier and wider than his own chest. “She’s a big girl.”</p><p>Carefully, Arthur released the saddle horn from the hold of one of his hands and repeated John’s action, patting the horse on the neck and brushing her mane. “Good girl,” he drawled with affection, dragging out the ‘r’.  </p><p>That voice sent a shiver down John’s spine. He wished once again to be on the other end of it. And that the horse was a gelding. Then Arthur would say ‘good boy’ like with Old Boy and John could pretend it was directed at him.</p><p>He shivered again.</p><p>Arthur rode the Breton for a total of ten minutes. Around that time the mare started to visibly struggle, she got tired and John decided it was enough. Arthur was a little disappointed, but he understood. He didn’t want to hurt the horse so while a little sad, he had no problem with getting down.</p><p>John led the horse closer to the water and Arthur simply jumped to it from her back. He disappeared only for a moment and then climbed on the rocks and patted the mare.</p><p>“Thank you, girl,” he said softly to the horse who nudged him in response, as if understanding how important it was for him.</p><p>“I’ll let her rest,” John informed, making her move again to get her to the beach. He should probably lead her up the cliff so she could eat some grass and give her some fresh water, but she deserved some break first.</p><p>After he took off her saddle and made sure the mare was okay, John returned to Arthur who didn’t move from the rocks and watched him the entire time.</p><p>“So, you happy?” John asked, stopping two steps in front of the rocks.</p><p>Arthur wiggled his finger at him, coaxing him to get closer. John’s heart hammered in his chest at the implication of that gesture, which, along with Arthur’s smile, looked very promising. John stepped towards him, feeling a blush rising to his face with each inch it was closer to Arthur’s.</p><p>He didn’t really know what he was wishing for or if he was being a fool for reading this situation a certain way, but the hug Arthur gave him was very much welcome. He reciprocated it right away, enjoying the feeling of Arthur’s arms around him and the same strong back he was fantasizing about as he arrived, under his hands.  </p><p>He might have hugged back a little too enthusiastically, because one moment they were embracing each other like dear friends they were, and the next John was falling on his back because suddenly the entire weight of the merman was pushing him down.</p><p>“Shit!” Arthur hissed, trying to stay on the rocks but the moment the heaviest part of his tail was over the edge of it, the rest followed.</p><p>John was glad he was standing in the shallower part of the bay because his head would’ve ended under the water the other way when Arthur and him landed in it. He gasped a little when the merman’s body crushed him, but he didn’t mind it as much as he would’ve minded it in the deeper water. Then he would’ve tossed Arthur off him as fast as possible, instead, he still hugged him and shook under him with a chuckle.</p><p>“What are you laughing at?” the merman asked, lifting himself on his forearms to lessen the pressure on John who still had him in his arms.</p><p>“I don’t know,” he admitted honestly. “I just feel happy, I guess.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Arthur smiled down at him warmly. “Me too. Thank you for bringing the horse today and letting me ride.”</p><p>“It was nothing,” John assured him, feeling another blush creeping onto his cheeks.</p><p>“No, it was a lot,” Arthur argued. “I don’t know from where you got this horse and how much it took you to even find her but the fact that you even decided to do it means a lot. So thank you, really.”</p><p>John stared into Arthur’s eyes, full of gratitude and something else, something warm and alluring. “You’re welcome,” he replied in a hoarse voice, brushing his fingers over Arthur's shoulder. The merman shuddered but stayed where he was.</p><p>It would be so easy for John to tangle his fingers into Arthur's hair and bring him down for a kiss. His palm inched towards the merman's locks and nudged few of the long, blond strands as he kept the eye contact between them, neither of them willing to end it.</p><p>John licked his lips nervously and he noticed how Arthur's eyes followed the movement before connecting their gazes again. The merman blinked then, black lids covering the ocean blue eyes and when they were revealed again, Arthur’s stare was full of worry.</p><p>“Christ, I hope I didn’t hurt you.” Arthur stumbled off him and John wanted to groan, and not even in a fun kind of way, which should happen given their previous position. He should have just grabbed Arthur by the hair and kissed him like he wanted. “And the sea water, is your wound okay?”</p><p>“I’m fine,” John assured him with a sigh and sat up. Idiot, his brain spat an insult.</p><p>“You sure?” Arthur probed, probably hearing the disappointment in John’s voice and reading it as pain. John supposed he could call it pain. Pain of being dumb.</p><p>He smiled reassuringly at the merman, hoping that the smile wasn't too bitter. “Yeah, it doesn’t hurt no more,” he said and tugged the shirt out of his pants to show the wound. He wasn’t even wrapping it anymore. “See? No swell.”</p><p>“Still, I could have hurt you.”</p><p>“It wasn't your fault, I tugged you too hard against me,” John said, not being able to stand the guilt on the merman’s face. “It’s fine, really. I’ll probably ask the Reverend to take the stitches tomorrow.” </p><p>“Alright. I collected some more seaweed, you want me to apply it?”</p><p>“It wouldn’t hurt,” John replied. “Hey, while you’re at it. I hate to ask but do you have something I could bring to the gang? Dutch was complaining today that I’m not bringing anything.”</p><p>“But you were hurt,” Arthur noticed, confused. “Because you got shot during a big robbery.”</p><p>“You don’t have to tell me that,” John sighed. “So? If it’s a problem-”</p><p>“It’s not a problem at all,” Arthur assured him. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”</p><p>“Great.” John smiled at him, grateful. He would have peace for a few days. “I’ll be waiting on the beach, I need to dry off.”</p><p>Arthur smiled back and crawled away. John watched him go and sighed once again when the merman was gone. Maybe it was for the better he didn’t kiss him when he had a chance. There was no telling he didn’t read everything wrong, he was never good at that because he had no experience, maybe he was just seeing things. And kissing your friend out of nowhere isn’t the best way to check if he’s feeling the same way.</p><p>But he wasn’t sure how long he was going to resist the need. John wanted to wait till he would have absolute certainty that Arthur was interested too, not just clues here and there he had now, but It was harder than he anticipated. And he feared than one of these days he would just snap and do something stupid, ruining their friendship. Like he almost did today if Arthur didn’t remember about his wound.</p><p>He wouldn’t survive that. He was losing his mind after a week, having Arthur out of his life forever would be a never-ending nightmare, that’s how attached he already was to the merman. And it would’ve been scary if it wasn't so comforting. He liked having someone like that in his life. It was the idea of losing it that was scary.</p><p>He had to do something before he could ruin everything by being impulsive. Talk to Arthur eventually. Because if they talk and Arthur would admit to feeling the same way, they would still get what they wanted, including the kiss John craved for. But if the merman wasn’t returning his feelings, it would be easier to explain everything, that it wouldn’t have to change anything and ask to still be friends, than after a spontaneous kiss that could either end with it continuing passionately, which would be nice, or with a lot of confusion and anger, and people make stupid decisions while emotional. John was sure it included merpeople.</p><p>And the worst thing was that John couldn’t predict how Arthur would react to such news. The merman didn’t seem like someone who would react with negative emotion but then again, John hadn’t known him for long, they didn’t know everything about each other. Arthur's reaction could be anything. Anger, disgust, understanding, confusion, calmness, fear, acceptance, betrayal. John had no way to tell, that’s why a conversation was a way to go with this.</p><p>So he was going to tell Arthur (Unless he would find an absolute proof that Arthur wanted the same. Then to hell with calm conversation, he was going to kiss the merman till they would both end up breathless.). It was the right thing to do this anyway. But not today. Today was good, amazing even, and he wanted it to stay that way.</p><p>And he wasn’t ready for this conversation to happen now, he needed to be ready, prepare the whole speech like Dutch was always doing, writing them down on a piece of paper. John felt so betrayed when he found out it wasn’t spontaneous like he always thought. </p><p>“I thought you was going to dry off,” Arthur said, startling him out of his thoughts.</p><p>John looked down at himself and the water he was still in. Embarrassed, he blushed and got up while the merman crawled closer to him. “I was thinking.”</p><p>“Uhu,” Arthur replied teasingly. “About what?”</p><p>“I’ll tell you later.” In a few days, hopefully, he finished in his mind. Arthur would probably forget about that moment till then.</p><p>“Okay,” he agreed without a fuss and showed John the little pouch before opening it. “I bought you some old coins, hope they’re worth something.”</p><p>John pulled one from the pouch and twirled it in his fingers, watching it from every side. It looked like some Spanish coin. “I’m sure we could get some money for them,” he said, dropping the coin back into the pouch. He would put them in his satchel later.</p><p>“I’m glad.” Arthur smiled, relieved. “Shall we?”</p><p>“Yeah.” John picked up his hat that was floating in the water after it fell from Arthur’s head when they landed in it. It was completely soaked, just like the rest of John’s clothes.</p><p>They got to the beach where John stripped off his shirt and Arthur applied the medicine, gently as always despite the wound not hurting anymore, even when poked. John wasn’t complaining, just enjoyed the soft touch on his skin, imagining feeling it on the rest of his body as well. He was going to miss having the wound and Arthur taking care of it. Maybe he should get slightly hurt more often from now on.</p><p>It ended far too quickly for John’s taste but once Arthur threw away the crumpled plants and John put his shirt back on(leaving it open, because why not, maybe Arthur would be interested in seeing what was under), the merman suggested drawing together.</p><p>That’s how they ended up on the rock belt, sitting with their backs to each other while drawing, with the soothing sounds of the ocean in the background. John wasn’t surprised when after the first few lines he realized he was drawing Arthur. It of course wasn’t anything special but still better than his first drawings of the merman after the first meeting. He had a lot of time to look at him and remember how he looked like since then.</p><p>It took them about an hour to finish their pictures. Well, whatever Arthur was drawing, John was guessing it was the Breton mare, he finished earlier because John heard him turning the page and starting drawing something new at some point. John finished only one picture in that hour, but he was proud of it. It was a shame he couldn’t show it to Hosea, he would surely be proud too, but John was hiding every drawing of Arthur from him, avoiding the awkward questions in the process.</p><p>“I’m done,” he announced and shifted, letting his feet dangle into the water. The waves got bigger at some point and were dangerously close to sweeping over the rocks and getting John’s clothes wet. Again.</p><p>“About damn time,” Arthur joked, taking the same position as John. As on instinct, the merman scooted closer so their hips were touching and his tail curled around John’s legs in the water. “I’m already at my second drawing.”</p><p>“Hey, not everyone is as good as you,” John reminded him. Arthur rolled his eyes. “Besides, I really put a lot of details into my drawing.”</p><p>He was hiding the results, a little nervous about showing the merman the drawing of him, afraid that he wouldn;t like it. John tried his best, but it still wasn’t the same level as the merman’s.</p><p>Arthur chuckled and picked his journal from his lap. John caught a glimpse of a horse that looked like a Breton drawn on a page. So he was right, but it was only the second drawing. What the hell did Arthur draw the first time?</p><p>Turned out he didn’t have to wait long to find out. Arthur got back one page and without hesitation showed him what he drew. John let out a laugh when his own image was staring back at him from the journal. And it was a very good drawing too. He had his hat, the fuzz on his face, every scar and his eyes looked like something he would normally only see in the mirror. And clothes were spot on too, even a slight rumple of the shirt on his shoulders. Arthur did amazing like the first time.  </p><p>“What’s so funny?” Arthur asked, confused and a little grumpy, looking at his drawing to find what made John laugh.</p><p>John shook his head. </p><p>“Nothing, just…” Without any fear now, John showed his own journal. Arthur understood finally and laughed as well, a happy, raspy sound that made John’s heart flutter. “We had the same idea, that’s all. But yours is better than mine, obviously.”</p><p>Arthur gently took the journal from him to look closer at the drawing. While the merman drew John’s portrait from shoulders up, John drew Arthur’s whole body the same way he saw it yesterday when he came to visit. Arthur was sitting on the rocks then, watching the ocean and that’s how John drew him. The only difference was that in the drawing the tail was on the rocks instead of the water. Because he loved that pretty tail and it was always fun to draw it. He has come a long way since the first time, when the tail was too short and looked more like some ugly, fat worm than a tail. Now he drew it with the attention to details it deserved. Drawing some of the scales(not every single one of them because that would be a suicide) was pain in the ass but he made sure they were on every curve of the tail. He of course drew the fins as well and made them transparent like in real life. All the tail needed to look perfect was some colors.</p><p>He was really proud of that part of the drawing, but he put just as much attention into drawing the human part of Arthur’s body, highlighting the muscles in his back, making sure the hair looked nice and soft, covering Arthur's neck. The claws of one hand that was visible was the worst part of the drawing but those weren't that important anyway and didn’t steal the attention from the rest.</p><p>Hosea would probably tell him what the drawing was lacking off, scold him that he put the shading in bad places because ‘light doesn’t work that way, son, it can’t light up the place it shouldn’t reach’, and Arthur would probably draw himself better as well, but John still was very proud of what he just draw. Very proud. And he hoped Arthur was too.  </p><p>“It’s really great, John,” he admitted, smiling warmly at John who looked away for a moment, blushing. Arthur complimenting his drawing was making him giddy, because he could hear the sincerity in the merman’s voice. He wasn't saying it just to make him feel better, he really liked it. “You have a talent.”</p><p>“You have a talent,” he corrected, feeling sheepish again. “I just practiced a little while I was stuck in bed.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t be able to draw without practice too,” Arthur noticed and shoved John gently with his elbow. “Say, you drew me a lot when you was in bed?”  </p><p>John blushed even harder than he already was, but instead of hiding with his eyes, he boldly looked at Arthur.</p><p>“As a matter of fact, yeah,” he admitted, smiling a little when it was the merman’s turn to blush.</p><p>Arthur didn’t turn away as well, they kept looking into each other’s eyes, just like earlier. And just like earlier, John felt the urgent need to kiss the merman. His eyes dropped to Arthur's lips for a second, so tempting. When he looked back into his eyes, he saw curiosity in them and that warmth again that made John shiver.</p><p>Or maybe it was Arthur’s cold fingers that unexpectedly grazed his wrist.</p><p>Maybe kissing him wouldn’t end so bad, he could play it as a friends’ thing if Arthur would be disgusted or angry, or confused. He missed one opportunity already and it was hard to fight the temptation again. John inched closer to the merman but before he could lean in really boldly, a loud crash and a blinding flash startled him and made them both jump a little.</p><p>The storm was coming. The sky in the distance was already dark and John didn’t even notice how the wind got stronger. That explained the waves, he could feel their strength when they were crashing against the rocks, hitting his legs as well.</p><p>“I should get going,” John said, disappointed that the mood was lost, or that his visit was cut short. “Staying in the open like that is dangerous.”</p><p>Hosea and Dutch were always reminding him that staying near the water during a storm was a really bad idea.</p><p>“You’ll be safe under the cliff,” Arthur assured him. The fingers that just a moment ago were just gently resting against his wrist, now grabbed it tightly, but not enough to hurt. “Stay,” the merman pleaded.</p><p>John didn’t need more convincing.</p><p>“I’ll get Old Boy and the mare down, horses can get scared of the thunder.” He took the Breton back on the cliff before he and Arthur started drawing. “And gather more wood for the fire.”</p><p>He would need it later and hopefully the rain wouldn’t put it out.</p><p>“I’ll get our fish then.”</p><p>They nodded at each other and parted, another lost opportunity following John like a shadow. </p><p>By the time they both returned, the storm started for good. Old Boy and the mare were a little agitated but felt safe enough under the cliff, huddled together, that John wasn’t worried they would try to run off.</p><p>It started raining really hard but thankfully the wind was coming from the south so it wasn't pouring inside the grotto. John set up the fire, feeling better right away because it got quite chilly. Thankfully he got whisky to warm them up as well.</p><p>He wondered if the gang was worried he was outside in a storm like that. The lightnings were striking one after another now, illuminating the whole dark sky. They were hitting mostly on the open ocean but from time to time, John could hear a loud crack and rumble coming from the east. He hoped the gang was safe, they weren’t exactly in the open but they had no way to hide like him either.</p><p>Arthur arrived unfazed by the storm, he was probably used to it. John on the other hand, had to admit it looked much scarier than in the middle of the continent. The booming of the thunder was much louder when it was coming from such open space like the ocean, and the roar of the huge waves was intimidating as well. If it weren't Arthur who said that, John wouldn’t believe he was so safe here right now. It looked like the whole ocean was going to enter the bay at any moment, crushing the rocks around it.</p><p>“How do you hide from the storm?” John asked when the merman sat next to him after putting the fish away for now. None of them were hungry yet, it was still pretty early. “When you’re in the open sea, I mean.”</p><p>“Usually I just swim deeper where the water isn’t that disturbed,” Arthur replied, once again sitting very close to John. “But not too deep, I can’t breathe then.”</p><p>“You can’t breathe underwater?” John repeated and Arthur nodded. “How in the hell is that possible?”</p><p>The merman shrugged. “Don’t know, it just becomes very tight at some point, you know? Like something is squeezing you from all around and water is trying to crush you.”</p><p>As if the ocean wasn’t scary enough, now it could also crush you after reaching a certain point. This place was hell, John had no doubt about it.</p><p>“Hope the wind won’t change the direction.” John stretched his hands to warm them over the fire. “It’s cold enough without the rain soaking me wet.”</p><p>“You should be fine,” Arthur assured.</p><p>“Will you? I noticed you always keep your tail in the water.”</p><p>“It itches when it’s dry. Scales fall off, it can easily get infected,” the merman explained.</p><p>“Sounds nasty.” Arthur snorted. “Well, feel free to go to the water any time. I’ll stay here and warm up-” He leaned back to reach the bottle of whisky he left by the chest earlier. “-with this,” he finished with a big grin and shook the bottle a little.</p><p>“What’s that?” the merman asked, taking the bottle from him and watching it very closely. He poked the glass with his claws a few times, listening to the sound it made.</p><p>“Whisky.” John took the bottle back and pulled out the cork, taking the first swig. The burning liquid went down his throat smoothly, warming him up instantly. Grimacing a little because of the taste, he handed the bottle back to the merman. “Want some?”</p><p>“I’m always curious about new tastes from the human world but I'm not sure I want to taste something that made you make that face,” Arthur chuckled nervously, reluctantly taking the bottle.</p><p>“The first gulp is always the worst, it’s better later,” John promised, watching how uncertain the merman was. Finally it was the other way around. Usually it was John who was scared to taste something from the ocean. “I hope it’s not poison for you.”</p><p>“Oh, so it can be a poison now too, huh?” Arthur asked sarcastically and John chuckled. “I guess it makes sense, a poisoned creature is more presentable to show as a trophy than the one you shoot.”</p><p>John fully laughed now. “Shut up, I don’t want to poison you. Just take a sip, you don’t have to pour it down your throat.”</p><p>Still a little unsure, Arthur brought the bottle to his lips and just like John told him, took only a small sip. John laughed again when he saw the disgusted expression on the merman’s face who started coughing.</p><p>“Jesus, how can you drink this?” he asked, his voice a little more raspier, because even the small sip still burned his throat.</p><p>Still laughing, John took back the whisky. “It’s not that bad,” he said and took another gulp. This one went easier than the first. He licked his lips after. “You okay? I should’ve brought a beer,” he realized, seeing that Arthur was still in a slight pain. He should feel sorry, and he was a little, but the merman was clearly fine and not on the way to heaven so John felt okay with being amused as well. He was sure Arthur would too if the roles were reversed.</p><p>Arthur waved with his hand. “I’m fine,” he said and took a deep breath. “Why are you drinking this if it tastes so horrible?”</p><p>“It’s not about the taste, it’s about how you feel after,” John explained, drinking another small sip. He didn’t want to drink too much to get wasted right away. And he wanted to leave something for Arthur in case he would like to try again. Not that John was going to chug the whole bottle like Uncle. “It can get you drunk, which is fun. You feel lighter, without any worry, everything is more enjoyable.”</p><p>“Oh, I know what you mean. I saw drunk people in port and on ships. They’re very loud.”</p><p>“Yeah, that could be the side effect too,” John chuckled. “My friend Uncle likes to sing when he’s drunk. Same with Javier. Even such quiet person like Charles becomes loud and do stupid things. Then there is Reverend who becomes miserable after he drinks too much. Which is almost all the time.”</p><p>“That doesn’t sound fun at all,” Arthur noticed, not entirely convinced.</p><p>“Yeah, it isn’t.” A loud crash of another thunder very close to them made him wait till it was quiet enough to speak again. “But you never know what type of drunk you’ll become if you don’t try.”</p><p>He offered the bottle again and to his surprise, Arthur took it.</p><p>“What type of drunk are you?” he asked. He was already grimacing when he took the second sip of the day. John grinned seeing his disgusted face, he clearly still didn’t like the taste but it didn’t hurt much anymore.</p><p>“I’m becoming chatty sometimes,” John relieved, leaning back on his hands, letting Arthur nurse the bottle for a while. “But mostly I just do stupid things, sing.”</p><p>“I would like to see that,” Arthur admitted and drank again, less hesitantly this time. His face still twisted at the taste but soon he was smiling again.</p><p>“Maybe you will.” John winked at him, confusing the merman a little bit. “It means I may be just teasing,” he explained.</p><p>“Oh, I get it.”</p><p>They passed the bottle between each other, each time Arthur was getting more accustomed with the taste. And more tipsy. So was John. He was already feeling lightheaded and he couldn’t exactly keep a straight posture. But he was used to it after so many years of getting drunk, he was drinking since he was fourteen. Arthur on the other hand, was getting drunk for the first time and it was all new. He didn’t exactly know how to react to that. But he didn’t want to stop drinking so far so John figured out he was okay for now.</p><p>“And?” he asked, curious. “How do you feel?”</p><p>“Warm,” Arthur answered, turning to him with a smile. It wasn't a very big clue considering the merman was smiling a lot in John’s presence, but it looked like he was a happy drunk as well. “Never felt like that before.”</p><p>“But it’s nice, ain’t it?” John asked again, placing his hand on Arthur’s shoulder where the tattoo was.</p><p>“In a way.” John wheezed with laughter when Arthur repeated his previous gesture and winked. It made the merman smile wider, his cheeks pink because of the alcohol. “It’s a little strange but I'm getting used to it. I feel weirdly happy.”</p><p>“Told you it’s fun.” John grinned at him proudly before bowing his head and looking at the tattoo under his palm. He hummed and rubbed it lightly, following the patterns with his finger.</p><p>“What?” Arthur asked, taking another swig from the bottle. It was almost half empty.  </p><p>“Do they mean anything?” John asked, raising his head again.</p><p>“Not really, just drew what looked nice,” Arthur answered. “I really liked an eagle that was once coming over there and decided to put him on my skin.”</p><p>“Looks good,” John said, slurring a little already. It was never taking him long to get drunk with whisky.</p><p>“I can make you one,” Arthur offered and gave back the bottle to John, who drank from it right away. He almost choked on the whisky when Arthur suddenly placed a hand against his chest, no doubt feeling how his heart was racing there, now even faster because of the touch. “Some pretty waves over your heart,” the merman mussed, staring intensely at the exposed chest and drawing the line with his claw on it. John held still, torn between moving away, because he feared he would do something stupid while drunk; and leaning closer to feel Arthur's hands against him more firmly. “Or a shark. I draw really good sharks. Or just it’s tooth. Shark tooth.”</p><p>Overwhelmed a little, John released the breath he had no idea was holding and wrapped his arm around the merman, tugging him against himself in a drunk hug. They swayed a little.</p><p>“No chance,” he said, quickly drinking again when he realized how dry his throat was suddenly. “It hurts.”</p><p>“Only at first,” the merman assured with a chuckle and looked up at him, blindly reaching for the bottle in John's grasp. They weren't tipsy anymore, the alcohol really hit them finally. Not a surprise with how often they were sipping it, with almost no breaks between. And on empty stomachs.  </p><p>“Still no,” he refused, passing the bottle again.</p><p>Arthur grumped but after drinking again, a loopy smile returned on his face and he hugged John back. “You know, John?”</p><p>“What?” John slipped the bottle from Arthur’s grasp to take another swig again. He didn’t even feel the taste anymore, just warmth as the alcohol entered his mouth and stomach, and then spread through his whole body. Or maybe it wasn't alcohol but the merman’s fingers gripping his waist tightly. Or an affectionate gaze fixed entirely on him, making John want to kiss him again.</p><p>That would be an even worse idea than earlier. He didn’t want Arthur to take it as some drunk antic.</p><p>Arthur looked at him with a serious expression. “I’m really glad you were drowning that day,” he confessed eventually. “Even if it sounds bad.”</p><p>John processed his words a little slower than normally. They stared at each other for a few more seconds before they both cracked up at the same time, laughing and holding each other so they wouldn’t fall on the sand, because the force of their laugh made them sway a lot.</p><p>“You know,” John spoke up when he felt calm enough. He still giggled hysterically before following, looking at Arthur fondly. With alcohol in his body, there was nothing stopping him from patting the merman affectionately on the chest. “I’m glad I didn’t kill you when I could. Even if it sounds bad.”</p><p>They laughed again but no matter how ridiculous their confessions sounded and how drunk they were, what they said was really honest and it meant a lot to both of them. They were really lucky that day, both of them. John, because Arthur was close enough to notice him needing help, and Arthur because John didn’t shoot, distracted by some hunter. Without it, they wouldn’t have had what they had now, and John was really glad for that.</p><p>John decided it was good to stop drinking for now. The day was still young, despite the sky making it look like it was night or the middle of the apocalypse. The storm weakened a little but it was still terrifying enough that John didn’t want to move. He wouldn’t want that even without the storm.</p><p>They moved a little further into the grotto, leaning against the wall of a cliff. John had his arm draped over Arthur while the merman held the whisky bottle, trying to read the label all on his own. John watched it fondly, sure that his friend was failing miserably. Arthur was trying to read for at least ten minutes now, and it didn’t look like he moved past the name of the company, which was what Arthur’s claw was pointing as he mouthed the letters to himself. At this point, he was probably too proud to admit the failure.</p><p>“Don’t exhaust yourself,” John suggested and poked Arthur's head lightly, chuckling when the merman glared at him. John put his hand back on his shoulder and sighed, content, alcohol still going through his veins and making him a little loopy. And happy. He could stay like that forever.</p><p>“I was trying to read,” Arthur pointed out and with a huff returned to his task.</p><p>John snorted. “Even I would have problems with reading in that state, you won’t do any better.” John stared ahead at the unsettled ocean and lightnings striking regularly. It was as beautiful as it was scary. “You can practice any other time. I'm still impressed that you learned all that by listening to people on ships.”</p><p>Arthur tensed under his arm, really tensed, like he was spooked. John sobered up almost instantly, and worried, he started turning to look at his friend but Arthur spoke up before John could even ask what’s wrong.</p><p>“I lied to you,” he said quickly, staring at the bottle in his hands and not at John. Looking almost afraid to do so.</p><p>John’s heart ached, both because of the confession and Arthur's fear. “About what?” he asked, not sure if he wanted to know. They were supposed to be honest with each other.</p><p>If it was possible, Arthur tensed even more but he still refused to look at John. “I didn’t learn English listening to people,” he revealed. John felt a hollow feeling in his stomach. Slowly, he took his arm from around Arthur. It made the merman look at him, scared and hurt. Well, not as hurt as John was after being lied to since they knew each other. But he was giving his friend the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he had a good reason to keep it away from him. Which he doubted but he didn’t want to be a brat who runs away before listening till the end.</p><p>Hosea and Dutch raised him better than that.</p><p>“It helped learning how to pronounce words or learn some new ones but I doubt I would’ve been able to learn a whole language like that.”</p><p>“Then how the hell do you know it?” John asked a little harshly. He probably shouldn’t, it wasn't anything big, it was just about Arthur knowing English.</p><p>“My grandmother taught me,” he replied, still clearly not telling the whole truth.</p><p>“Okay,” John nodded, trying to approach it in a calm way. Raising his voice wouldn’t help anyone. “And how did she learn it?”</p><p>Arthur looked away again, John wanted to tell him to stop and look him in the eyes but it turned out to be unnecessary, the merman did it on his own. “From her parents. Because she was a human once.”</p><p>John’s brain stopped working. It just froze on this one information and stubbornly didn’t want to move further while a pail of questions started to grow over this once sentence.</p><p>She was a human.</p><p>Arthur's grandmother was a human like John.</p><p>How was she a human? What the hell ‘once’ meant? What was going on?!</p><p>Just a minute ago he was having fun with his merman friend he was sure he knew pretty well, and now he was finding such crucial information about Arthur's life. It wasn't only about language now, it was bigger than that.</p><p>Human once.</p><p>It still sounded so strange, like it shouldn’t be something allowed to say.</p><p>John gazed at the bottle that at some point Arthur put on the sand on his right. He wanted to grab it and drink it whole. </p><p>“How…” John managed to ask finally, just one word for now but after he took a deep breath, he continued. “How is that even possible?”</p><p>Arthur shifted nervously next to him. They were still sitting close and John could feel every one of his fidgeting. Which was a lot. The merman was really scared and John was torn between wanting to yell at him for keeping something like that a secret, and hugging him to give him comfort.</p><p>He did none, just listened.</p><p>“She lived on land, obviously, she was a human,” Arthur started telling his family history. “She lived with her parents in some small village north from here. She was a simple girl, working around the house with her mother while her father worked somewhere deeper in the mainland.”</p><p>So far everything was clear but it wasn't answering none of John’s questions.</p><p>“She was living close to the ocean so she was a good swimmer but she was still a human and the ocean can be unforgiving.” Arthur paused, maybe to figure out what to tell next. The wind howled uncomfortably in John’s ears. “The ocean wasn’t even that full of big waves like today but my grandmother still didn’t have any chance when she fell into it and it dragged her in and under.”</p><p>Like almost me, John thought.</p><p>“My grandfather found her when she was struggling for breath,” Arthur continued, looking towards the ocean. The longer he was telling the story, the calmer John was becoming and he didn’t mind anymore the merman wasn't looking at him. Staring at the ocean was probably calming to him. “It was too late to drag her towards the surface so he did the next best thing.”</p><p>John frowned. “And what is that?” he probed.</p><p>Arthur looked briefly at him. “There is a legend saying that if a merperson fills your lungs with breath when you lose your last underwater, you’ll turn into one of us.”</p><p>“You mean into a merperson,” John finished for him. Arthur nodded and John felt numb when he registered this information. It was possible to become someone like Arthur. All you need to do is…</p><p>“It’s dangerous of course,” Arthur followed with his story. “The human needs to be dying, and it has to be precisely because of drowning. But if you give a human your breath too soon when there is still some left in the lungs, or too late, the human will just die.”</p><p>John felt like he was listening to some fairy tail Abigail could tell Jack before sleep, not to a real story. He wasn't educated but he believed in since and this wasn't it. It was hard to grasp the concept of it.</p><p>“Your grandma didn’t,” he figured out. “She survived.”</p><p>Arthur confirmed with a nod. “My grandfather risked and it worked. When he noticed she was still breathing despite being underwater, he took her somewhere safe and waited for her to transform. She was terrified when she woke up a few days later.”</p><p>He couldn’t even imagine the fear she must’ve felt when she woke after what she was sure was death, only to find out she'd been turned into another creature, something from legends.</p><p>“They were both fifteen at the time. My grandmother’s life suddenly changed and she was angry at my grandfather for saving her life that way. It took some time before she allowed him to help her. He taught her how to swim, communicate, hunt, everything. Grandmother accepted her faith eventually and just continued living, just underwater. But she still missed the land she couldn’t go to anymore. Not without risking death. She and grandfather fell in love on the way and got together.”</p><p>John hated his heart for skipping a bit at the information confirming that merpeople were capable of the same love as humans. This wasn’t the time for this, he still felt betrayed.</p><p>His feelings didn’t care.</p><p>“To still feel human at least a little bit, grandmother started teaching her husband English. He wasn't very fond of it but he was doing it to make her happy. Then she taught her daughter and then me.” Arthur looked at him again, looking vulnerable like John never seen him before. “She wasn’t an educated person, she didn’t even know how to read or write, that’s why I’m only learning now with you, but she taught me how to speak. We often swam to the surface together and talked about humans. She helped me choose my name and she was making sure I knew part of my legacy.”</p><p>“So you were interested in humans because of her,” John noticed.</p><p>“She taught me some about you but until I was born, she already forgot a lot of her old life,” Arthur admitted sadly. “And obviously my father didn’t like her teaching me about humans and tried to stop her whenever he could. I'm surprised he mated with my mother since he hated humans so much and you can easily distinguish a born merperson from a made one.”</p><p>“What’s the difference?” John asked, curious.</p><p>“Born merpeople have more scales on their body, not only near the tail,” Arthur explained, pointing at his neck. “Here, on the shoulders. Everyone in my colony knew me and females in my family weren’t merpeople fully. They didn’t care that my mother was born and raised underwater, same as me, all they saw was part humans. My colony is full of assholes so even without the reason to hate us they would still despise us in some way but I'm sure it was worse for us because of that.”</p><p>John couldn’t help himself, despite the anger still burning a little in the pit of his stomach, he placed a supportive hand on Arthur’s shoulder. The merman let out a stuttering breath and looked gratefully at him.</p><p>“So there you go,” he said, trying to play it light but he was still tense. And the sorrow was in his eyes when he stared at John. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. Especially when we promised to not lie to each other.”</p><p>John certainly understood everything now, even if it still felt like some dream and not a real world. He even pinched himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming, but he wasn’t. It was real, as real as magic or whatever that was could be. Arthur was part human.</p><p>But John still didn’t know everything.</p><p>“Why didn’t you tell me from the beginning?” he demanded. That hurt the most, that Arthur didn’t trust him enough. It made sense when they were still strangers but Arthur never said anything even after they became friends. Only had the courage to do so when he got drunk.</p><p>His strange behavior sometimes made sense now. </p><p>Arthur bowed his head in shame.</p><p>“I didn’t know if I could trust you with that information and it didn’t seem to be important back then,” he admitted. And maybe it wasn’t important, even now it really wasn't, John still was seeing the merman the same way as before this new revelation. But it would’ve been nice to know. “And later I was afraid to mention it in case you would be angry at me for hiding it from you for so long.” Well, he was right. “Are you?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Angry,” Arthur clarified, looking like a lost child. Those blue eyes were so full of shame.</p><p>“A little hurt.”</p><p>He couldn’t act like it didn’t because that lack of trust did hurt. He trusted Arthur with his life, meanwhile Arthur held something like that from him. </p><p>But the anger passed already, especially now that he listened to Arthur's reason. He wasn’t surprised he was scared to say it, not after spending most of his life being hated by other merpeople and not having much experience with talking to solve the problem.</p><p>“Sorry.” It was obvious in his voice he was regreting it. And John didn't even has to think about forgiving him, it happened on its own, his heart reaching out towards the merman to console him.</p><p>“It’s fine, I can get over it,” he promised and wrapped his arm around Arthur again. They both needed a hug. “I’m glad you told me now. We’re friends, you can tell me anything.”</p><p>“I know,” Arthur sighed. It bothered him as much as it bothered John but they would be okay, John was sure of it. It would take more than keeping one little, insignificant secret to make them give up on each other. </p><p>“So… Could I become a merman if I wanted?” he asked after they sat in a little awkward silence for a while. The storm was still going.</p><p>Arthur looked at him shocked. “Do you want to?”</p><p>“No,” John snorted, feeling lighter as the time was passing. “I hate water. But it’s possible?”</p><p>It was probably possible when he was drowning but Arthur pulled him out in time and didn’t have to try another way to save him. Thank god because that would mean losing his family forever and he didn’t want that, ever. He certainly wouldn’t be able to just accept it like Arthur's grandmother. The whole concept of living underwater, being different species was so abstract to him.</p><p>Besides, he liked having legs and ground under his feet. </p><p>“Never saw it being done but if my grandfather did it, it must be possible.” Arthur didn’t sound very sure of that. To them both it was still just a legend.  </p><p>“Unless he lied,” John noticed.</p><p>“Don’t see what reason he would have to do that.” Arthur seemed more relaxed already as well. A little shyly, he leaned closer against John, and to show him it was okay, John hugged him tighter. “You would have to be drowning and then I would have to share the air with you for it to work. It’s probably ain’t easy. Wouldn't even want to risk and try.”</p><p>“Yeah, me neither,” John agreed. Smiling softly he nudged Arthur's tail with his foot. “Any other secrets I should know about?”</p><p>Arthur chuckled. “No,” he said, looking John straight into the eyes, his voice sincere. “I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I wanted a couple of times but I was scared you would react badly.”</p><p>“I'm surprised I didn’t,” he joked and regretted it when it only made the merman more guilty. Not that he shouldn’t be but there was no reason to make it worse. “Just don’t do it again. Keeping secrets I mean,” he asked. He really didn’t want any secrets between them. “You’re only allowed to keep a secret if it’s a surprise for me.”</p><p>Arthur grinned, the tension finally leaving his body. “Deal.”</p><p>They shook hands to seal another promise and decided it was time to eat something. John prepared his food while Arthur went onto the rain for a little bit to get his tail wet.</p><p>It was still a little awkward between them but it was getting better, and by the time fish and the food John brought was ready, they were back to the comfortable familiarity that their relationship was.</p><p>When they returned to drinking, finishing the rest of the bottle, it was like nothing really changed between them and maybe it really didn’t. John was still overwhelmed with affection when he looked at the merman and Arthur's gaze was still the same when he stared back.</p><p>John still wanted to kiss him senseless and never stop hugging him. When they were saying goodbye in the evening, shortly after the storm ended and John, still drunk, led the horses up on the cliff, he was practically squeezing the merman against himself. Arthur didn’t mind, he hugged just as tightly. Probably because he was still a little scared he angered John.   </p><p>“Hey, how are you going to swim while drunk?” John murmured into his friend’s shoulder as they still held each other, Arthur practically in his lap because John didn’t dare to kneel for this hug, they would fall again no doubt.</p><p>“Not very straight.”</p><p>It seemed so funny to John he just started wheezing and Arthur laughed with him, their bodies shaking in their hold.</p><p>John wished he could see Arthur's attempts at swimming while drunk.</p><p>“Well, don’t drown,” he said to him, finally releasing the merman from his hold.</p><p>“Can’t promise anything,” Arthur replied, grinning. “We’re good?”</p><p>John smiled softly at him. “Always,” he assured and stood up, losing his balance instantly.</p><p>“I'm more worried about you riding than me swimming,” Arthur laughed, watching him walk unsteadily.</p><p>“Shut up,” John snapped and giggled. “See you tomorrow.”</p><p>“I’ll be waiting.”</p><p>Those simple words made John’s heart jump in joy.</p><p>Yeah, they were good. Better than good.</p><p>Smiling one last time at each other, they went to their respective homes. John climbed up carefully, holding the wall all the time to not fall and break his neck. Thankfully he managed to survive his third climb while drunk and now he only needed to go to camp and sleep.</p><p>“Oh no,” he whined while seeing the Breton. “I forgot I need to get you back to your home.”</p><p>The mare looked at him.</p><p>“Don’t you want to be part of the Van der Linde gang?” he asked, stepping closer to her and hugging her big head. The mare snorted. “Yeah, I don’t blame you,” he hiccupped. “Alright, mount up, Marston, you idiot, time to go home. Or maybe I should just sleep here. I'm sure Arthur wouldn’t mind.”</p><p>It was tempting and cuddling with the merman seemed like a nice idea, but he wasn't sure he had the strength anymore to get down to the bay again. He couldn’t even climb Old Boy, he had to make him kneel to get onto him.</p><p>Rocking of the horse under him caused John's stomach to get upset and he had to stop to throw up but after that, he was back in the saddle, riding towards the ranch he borrowed the Breton from.</p><p>He tried to be sneaky when he reached it but being drunk only made him louder. Instead of shushing the horse like he should when she neighed for some reason, he practically shouted in panic at her to be quiet. If the owner of the ranch was sleeping, he wasn’t now and ran out of his house.</p><p>“Hey, what you did to my horse!” he screamed after John, who ran for his life, stumbling every third step or so.</p><p>When he got to Old Boy, he didn’t waste time riding away, back to camp. It was still early and no one was sleeping. Some were even still eating dinner. Like Kieran who was sitting with the horses. Poor bastard wasn't accepted so he befriended the animals.</p><p>“Oh, Mr. Marston,” he greeted John when he arrived. “We thought you got lost or something. Everyone was…”</p><p>John raised his hand to silence him. Kieran shut up immediately and watched as John clumsily dismounted, almost falling onto his ass. The boy opened his mouth to continue speaking but John stopped him again and then pointed at his horse. “Take care of him,” he ordered.</p><p>“Uh, of course.”</p><p>John smiled at him and patted him on the arm before passing by him and heading to Dutch’s tent. He opened the box standing outside and put coins Arthur gave him to shut up any complaints about how he wasn't providing for the gang. There, he gave his share, now they can all get off his ass.</p><p>After that, he walked to his tent with an intent to sleep, already preparing himself for a hangover, but the others chose that moment to notice him.</p><p>“Oi, Marston!” Sean shouted. “Come join us, you Scotch bastard! We thought lightning hit you!”</p><p>John didn’t want to be rude so he walked to his friend to at least say ‘hello’.</p><p>“Still alive,” he proclaimed, spreading his arms to show he was okay. Bad idea, he almost fell face first into a fire.</p><p>The others chuckled.</p><p>“Are you drunk, Marston?” Karen asked, holding a bottle of alcohol of her own.</p><p>“Just a little,” he admitted, showing the amount of whisky with his fingers. He showed three inches.   </p><p>“Seems like more than a little,” Javier laughed, waving a hand in front of his face. “I can smell you even from here.”</p><p>“You had fun and you didn’t even invite us,” Uncle pointed out, offended. “Where was the party?”</p><p>“Ah, there was no party, just a day in the saloon,” he lied. “Had to hide from the storm.”</p><p>“That’s funny,” Sadie spoke up, looking at him with suspicion. “Because I left shortly after you and when the storm hit, I went into the saloon. Figured out I could get some information and drink since I couldn’t go back to camp. I didn’t see you not in town, and certainly not in the saloon. I would’ve heard you, you’re too loud when drunk.”</p><p>Everyone looked at him exceptionally, waiting for his answer to Sadie’s words.</p><p>He should come up with something, some sort of excuse but his mind was still blank and fuzzy with happiness. He got to hug Arthur for so long! And the merman was so happy with riding!</p><p>So instead of answering he just giggled wheezily, and ignoring confused looks of his friends, walked to his tent, laid down on his cot and fell asleep, smiling like a fool.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I was thinking a lot whether I want to involve magic in this story or not, but then decided, why the hell not when RDR is already filled with some supernatural elements like Strange Man, spirit animals, zombies etc? And it's a story about a merman already so yeah, people can become merpeople.</p><p>But also humans and merpeople are comaptible geneticly so if they would have sex, they would creat a unfertail hybrid. Because science.<br/>I only write about it here because I won’t put it in the story. Or maybe I’ll, we will see. </p><p>I love science if you didn’t notice it already while reading about water pressure in this chapter. Merman or not, laws of physics works on you, Mr. Morgan.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. A Whole New World</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John was aware of everyone’s eyes at him when he was living the next morning, not even eating breakfast with them like usual. He felt stupid for getting caught red-handed while lying, even if the gang didn’t seem to make big deal out of it. During his only interaction with some of them when he was grabbing a coffee to ease the monstrous headache, the girls giggled at his sight and started whispering something among themselves. Kieran, who was cleaning a table nearby, giggled as well but stopped the moment John glared at him – grumpy, sleepy and hangover.</p><p>It didn’t work on girls obviously, they weren't scared of him like an O’Driscoll so they continued gossiping and giving him funny looks. Sadie, when she joined, snickered at him and walked away with her coffee.</p><p>John had no idea what was going on. He was expecting them to be more angry at him for lying but they were not, not at all. They didn’t mind the obvious lie or that he was leaving again. Well, expect Micah, who glared at him from the other side of the camp, but that bastard was always too interested in John’s absences while the others respected his privacy.</p><p>Ignoring both Micah and the rest of the too cheery gang, John went to prepare his horse. While returning with the empty cup to wash it, Hosea greeted him like nothing big had happened the day earlier. John nodded in response and continued putting a brindle in Old Boy’s mouth.</p><p>He knew he was watched again, this time by Dutch who stood by his tent, smoking his morning cigar while Molly was still sleeping inside. When John briefly turned around, he couldn’t read anything from the leader’s face. Was Dutch still angry? He didn’t notice the coins yet and thought John came empty handed again?</p><p>Deciding that Dutch’s mood would improve later on when he would finally discover the coins, John finished saddling Old Boy and left, ignoring his friends who were probably speaking about his hurry as he rode off.</p><p>Whatever they were thinking was happening, John was fine with it as long as they wouldn’t start demanding answers or sniffing around, which would potentially lead to someone discovering Arthur.</p><p>The merman was at the bay when John arrived there but he needed a minute to notice him. Arthur was curled on the sand in the far corner of the grotto, the fin tail covering his head and shoulders. John thought it was very unusual and worried that maybe the merman was hurt.</p><p>He wasn't wrong, he realized it the moment he also noticed how much his headache increased because of the sound of the waves. Oh God, it hurt so goddamn much, and he thought hoofbeats were bad. </p><p>Grimacing, John walked further into the bay till he was at the very bottom. Quietly to not startle Arthur, he approached him. Maybe the merman heard him after all or just sensed he was being watched because he folded his tail and looked at John who couldn’t help but laugh at the miserable expression on his friend’s face. </p><p>“I want to drown you for not warning me drinking would end like this,” he said and groaned, covering himself again to block the sound of waves.</p><p>“Sorry,” John replied and sat on the sand next to Arthur. “Head?”</p><p>“And dry throat.” Arthur uncurled a little, John felt his tail touching his back before the end landed in his lap. He grabbed it almost subconsciously, gently stroking the scales. “I had a dry throat even in water, how is that possible?”</p><p>John chuckled, but not too loud to not make the pain worse. “Hangover is a nasty fucker,” he explained in a way Sean always liked to say.</p><p>Arthur only hummed in response and closed his eyes, in addition covering them with his arm.</p><p>Speaking further seemed like the worst idea right now so John didn’t try to keep the conversation going, just focused on the water of the bay. It was only then that he noticed a bunch of fishes swimming in there with no way to escape.</p><p>John watched them while he continued stroking the tail in his lap. They swam in circles, confused, all looking like the same species. Seeing them made him hungry, he regretted not eating breakfast, specifically something with a lot of grease. He had some cans in his saddle bags, he was smart enough to pack them, but he was too lazy to move. And he didn’t want to stop touching Arthur’s tail.</p><p>So they stayed like that for almost an hour, not talking, John was pretty sure Arthur was napping actually. He almost dozed off himself but he wasn’t that used to the sound of waves like the merman and couldn’t fall asleep with them crushing against the rocks constantly, even if they were small, polar opposite of what they were yesterday during a storm.</p><p>When he looked at the barrier of rocks separating the ocean from the bay, he remembered the white of waves as they kept colliding with them, entering the bay and disturbing the water inside. The evidence of the storm was visible in the higher level of the shallower water, it was almost reaching the place where John was making the fire every day but thankfully didn’t flood it. He could use a campfire right now, the hunger was getting more persistent, even more so that the headache.</p><p>Surprisingly, while waves made it worse for a while, their repetitiveness and the soothing sound eventually worked like a salve on the burned skin, pushing back the pain.</p><p>It seemed to be working on Arthur as well because the merman eventually woke up and didn’t look like he was ready to die anymore. John hid his disappointment when his friend took the tail off his lap and sat next to him, yawning.</p><p>John was sure they would be able to start their normal day then, but when Arthur looked at him, his expression wasn't open as always, it held wariness that confused John.</p><p>“What’s with the face?” he asked, pointing at his own.</p><p>“Nothing,” Arthur assured. Noticing that John wasn't buying it, the merman sighed. “Just wasn't sure if you would really be back. So when I woke up just a minute ago…”</p><p>“I said I would be back, didn’t I?” John interrupted him and put a hand on the merman’s shoulder. “Art, it’s done. I’m not angry, you have nothing to worry about, okay?”</p><p>It’s not like he wasn't keeping a secret of his own. True, it was a little different than Arthur’s but it was still a secret. John would be a hypocrite if he held it against the merman.</p><p>Thankfully, Arthur relaxed, believing him. When he smiled at John, it was a carefree smile that immediately made John smile back.</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“Good.” John gently squeezed his shoulder for good measure. He jumped a little when Arthur's hand landed on his thigh and squeezed it as well. Did Arthur was aware he was being a little suggestive? Or it was an accident? Those questions were swirling in John’s head even when he asked out loud a different one. “You ate yet?”</p><p>He couldn’t ignore the hunger anymore.</p><p>Arthur shook his head. “Not yet.” John let out a shaky breath when Arthur took back his hand very slowly, practically stroking John’s tight. “I can catch some of those fishes.”</p><p>“How did they even get there?” John asked, deciding it’s the que to take his hand as well. “You brought them here?”</p><p>“After yesterday?” Arthur snorted. “When I got into the water I sunk to the bottom, I was in no shape for swimming. Before I fell asleep I kept thinking if you got home safe.”</p><p>“Thankfully, yes,” John answered, grinning. “So if it wasn't you…”</p><p>“The storm brought them,” the merman explained. “It always happens, there is a lot of them in the deeper water too. I never have to hunt in the open ocean after a storm.”</p><p>“You know, I never saw you hunt,” John noticed, interested in seeing Arthur in action. “Can you do that in shallow water?”</p><p>“Can be hard sometimes but I should be okay.” Arthur turned onto his front, taking the position to crawl. “I think I feel good enough to hunt too. You?”</p><p>“I’ll be staying on the shore, thanks.” Arthur gave him an unimpressed look and John chuckled. “Head still hurts a little but a good fat fish should help with that,” he answered and stood up to walk closer to the water and have a first row experience.</p><p>Arthur crawled after him but unlike him, he didn’t stop but got into the water, sliding into it. Fish swam away when he got close to some of them. Arthur didn’t follow for now, he took some time to warm up first, swimming in circles. Even that looked amazing to John and he couldn’t tore his eyes away from that flexible body.</p><p>When the hunt started, John was glad he wasn’t one of those fishes. Arthur was swimming slowly in one second, and the next, after a gentle turn, he shot through the water like a bullet, chasing the fish. It escaped, Arthur’s claws almost grasping it. The fish took a sudden turn to escape but the merman was right after her.</p><p>His side fin spread wide, stopping him for a half a second before the powerful tail propelled him through water one again, pushing him towards the fish. The rest of them fled quickly, some of them were suicidal enough to go right in front of Arthur’s face but he didn’t let them distract him, he was focused solely on one fish and didn’t pay attention to any other. It would be a waste of energy to chase every fish that got close, even if it seemed easier to catch them than the one that was escaping from Arthur right now.</p><p>The fish kept turning fast but so was Arthur. Keeping his hands close to his sides, he chased after his prey, taking sharp turns whenever the fish was doing so. His tail moved swiftly like a snake, bending in almost every possible direction as if it had no bones inside.</p><p>John watched the chase captivated, his mouth open in amazement and a little bit of fear. Because if it had been him, he would have had no chance against Arthur. The merman wouldn’t even have to exhaust himself as much as he was doing now. John couldn’t run away like the fish, he could try to swim away if he knew how but that would be pointless. Arthur was just too quick, going from one end of the water to the other in a second or so, with just one push of his tail. And when he was turning fast a couple of times in a row, he did it so effortlessly it made John wonder if he was even getting tired by this chase that eventually came to an end.</p><p>The fish swam towards the rock belt, seemingly faster than the merman but John knew it wasn’t true. The only advantage the fish had was how fast it could change direction. Arthur was fast but he was just too massive to turn as quickly, especially in a shallow water like that, even if it looked like he was keeping up most of the time.</p><p>When the fish reached the wall that kept her from the open ocean, it turned again, going left. Instead of following, Arthur turned right and swapped his tail against the rocks, hard. The force of the hit and the subtle twirl he did with his fin just a second before that, created a small whirlpool which, in addition to getting hit like a fly with a newspaper, stunned the fish. It swam towards the surface for a moment before its sense of direction returned. But it was already too late.</p><p>Arthur already turned and before the fish could escape again, he sank his claws into it, one entering its body, the second piercing through its head, killing it in an instant. Perfect, precise kill.</p><p>Grabbing the fish more firmly, Arthur returned to the shore where John was standing, fighting the urge to clap like he just saw the best show of his life. While the need to clap he could fight, the impressed expression on his face he could not. Arthur saw it and smiled proudly, tossing the fish on the sand next to John’s feet.</p><p>The whole hunt took about a minute. Which made it even more impressive.</p><p>“That was amazing,” John admitted, grinning widely.</p><p>The merman blushed, bashful, and dropped his gaze for a moment. When he looked up again, his eyes were still black after swimming but somehow it didn’t make them look any less stunning. John’s heart leapt in joy when they were focused only on him.</p><p>“Why thank you, you’re very kind,” Arthur replied, bowing a little.</p><p>John chuckled and picked up the fish from the ground. He didn’t know how it was called, sea fish were a mystery for him but he trusted Arthur it was edible. It was pretty small, that was the problem, only a little bigger than his palm and if it had a lot of bones in it, John doubted one fish like that could feed him.</p><p>Still holding the fish, he asked Arthur “How many of them do we need?”</p><p>The merman shrugged. “Depends how hungry you are.”</p><p>“Like a wolf.”</p><p>“I will assume it’s a lot,” he answered with a laugh. “I usually eat three of those.”</p><p>“I have some cans in my saddle bags,” John informed him while pointing at the cliff. “Then you can catch less.”</p><p>“Go get them then, I’ll catch three more fish,” Arthur suggested, already returning to the water.</p><p>Even if he couldn’t see it, John nodded at the merman before going back to Old Boy. The horse was happily grazing a little away from the path since he missed the breakfast as well.</p><p>“You going to eat the whole forest at this rate,” John joked, seeing how much the gelding had to walk away to find something fresh to eat. The grass growing closest to the path was completely eaten out.</p><p>Old Boy didn’t even glance at him, just continued eating. John couldn’t blame him, right now he was so hungry even eating grass was appetizing to him. Thankfully some tasty fish were waiting for him in the bay.</p><p>When he returned down with canned beans, corn, a piece of bread and a tin bowl, four fishes were already placed next to the campfire that Arthur was already arranging, using the sticks John gathered the other day.</p><p>“If you’re hungry, you should have started without me,” John told him when he approached.</p><p>Arthur grinned at him, his eyes already back to being greenish blue. “My momma taught me better than that,” he said with a wink. “I prepared wood.”</p><p>John smiled back fondly. “I can see that.” Chuckling, John sat down next to the merman and pulled out a box of matches to start the fire going. Arthur must’ve watched him doing that before because the sticks were placed in a right way, not just dumped one on another. All John needed to do was place a burning match under them and cover it with some dry bark.</p><p>Couple of minutes later, when the first fish was cooked, the second was placed above the fire and the beans were warmed, they finally started eating. Arthur of course didn’t bother with fishbones, just bit into the raw meat and chewed while John was carefully separating meat from the bones with his fingers and putting it in his mouth. After a few bites, he placed the fish in the bowl and picked up the can of beans, eating some with the spoon.</p><p>Moaning in appreciation at the taste, he passed the can to Arthur who watched him for a moment, thoughts somewhere else, before he grabbed the offered food and took some as well. John ripped the bread in half and shared it with the merman as well.</p><p>Hungry, they didn’t talk much, just stuffed their faces with food, passing the beans and corn between each other. It was the first time they were eating breakfast together and it seemed different than eating dinner, special in some way. It was so normal, John even dared to think, domestic. As if they just woke up together, prepared the food and now they were eating in silence, enjoying the lazy morning like… Like a couple, really. Like a husband and a wife would.</p><p>John blushed and lowered his gaze to hide it in case Arthur was watching him. He knew he wasn't, because John was watching the merman before those thoughts invaded his mind, making his stomach buzz but not in hunger.</p><p>He liked eating breakfast together and he wouldn’t mind doing it more often. Forever, preferably.</p><p>John cleared his throat, gaining Arthur’s attention that way. “You looked really amazing hunting,” he said, feeling his cheeks heat up again when the merman smiled because of the praise. “You looked like you weren’t even tired.”</p><p>“Believe me, I was.” Arthur ate a spoonful of beans and passed them to John before continuing. “Hunting like that is tiring. Usually the whole family hunt together but if someone is alone like me, we just tend to go for the slower fish. Or animals living on the bottom.”</p><p>“Or humans,” John noted teasingly.</p><p>Arthur chuckled. “Or humans,” he agreed, ripping some bread with his fingers and eating it. “Sometimes I can’t catch anything, it ain’t as easy as it looks.”</p><p>“But it looks impressive,” John pointed out, stretching his legs in front of him. “At least compared to my fishing. I just stand on the shore with a stick.”</p><p>“I saw humans using nets too.” Arthur grimaced at that. “Hate those things, animals get tangled in it when you leave it in the water.”</p><p>“I’m sure not many people do that, nets are expensive.”</p><p>“Do you have that stick with you?” Arthur changed the subject.</p><p>“It’s a fishing rod,” John corrected him, amused. “Yeah, I always have it on my saddle. You never know when it would be useful.”</p><p>“Bring it then, I want to see.”</p><p>“Sure, once we’re done.”</p><p>Fifteen minutes later they were sitting on a rock belt and John was putting the rod together while Arthur watched. When that was done, John picked up a bait he got with him as well and put it on the hook.</p><p>“All you do next is cast the line and wait,” John explained and did just that, putting the hook in the middle of the deep waters of the bay.</p><p>Arthur observed, first the throw, then where the bait landed. He didn’t look impressed and John couldn’t really blame him, fishing could be boring if you weren't patient. Arthur surely was like that but he was also used to more exciting forms of fishing.</p><p>John liked standing or sitting with a rod in hand and waiting for a fish. He used to go fishing with Hosea and Dutch pretty often when he was younger, even if he hated when they were taking a boat and had to row to the middle of the lake. But in the end fishing was always helping him forget about the fear of water.</p><p>“Can I?”</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>John gave the merman the rod and watched how he examined it, clearly confused. John spent the next few minutes explaining what was what and how to pull the fish out of the water. Then they just sat together and waited, but despite plenty of fish swimming in the bay, as Arthur assured John, nothing took a bite for a while. John didn’t mind but Arthur got bored pretty quickly. </p><p>“No offense, John, but if I would have to feed like this, I would sooner die from hunger.” John laughed, which showed Arthur he wasn’t offended. “Maybe I wouldn’t get tired by chasing a fish but I would be more hungry after waiting an eternity for one.”</p><p>“It can take time, yes,” John admitted and nudged Arthur with his shoulder. “But hey, if you have company, it ain’t that bad, right?”</p><p>Arthur’s lips slowly spread into a lovely smile that took John’s breath away.</p><p>“Right,” he agreed before something mischievous glinted in his eyes. “How about a little competition?”</p><p>John looked curious at his friend. “What do you mean?”</p><p>Arthur gave him back the rod and placed both hands on the rock he was sitting on. “Who catches more fish wins.”</p><p>“That’s unfair,” John noticed right away.</p><p>“We’ll see whose hunting technique is more efficient.”</p><p>“What happens to the loser?” John needed to know what would happen to him when he would lose. Because he could already tell he would.</p><p>“Guess he would have to live in shame,” Arthur answered with a chuckle and jumped into the water.</p><p>“Don’t scare my fish, you bastard!” John shouted after him, probably scaring a few fish as well.</p><p>Smiling, he shook his head and relaxed. Unlike Arthur, all he needed to do was sit and wait. Some fish would have to catch the bait eventually.</p><p>It took two minutes for Arthur to swim to the surface again, a fish in his hand. John rolled his eyes when smugly looking merman simply put it next to him, not saying anything, and returned underwater.</p><p>Five minutes later, it happened again. John wasn’t commenting on it, just enjoyed the fishing. Arthur was still hunting the third fish when John felt a harsh pull on the line. He tugged it to himself to hook the fish, finally, he caught something! But the hook hit nothing.</p><p>John huffed and casted the line again. The moment it landed, he felt another tug. He reacted even faster than the first time and again, nothing. Were sea fish so fast or…</p><p>“Arthur,” he growled, realizing the merman was messing with him.</p><p>He got a confirmation of this when his friend showed up on the surface again, grinning far too mischievously to be innocent.</p><p>“You asshole!” John shouted at him immediately. “You tugged at my line!”</p><p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Arthur replied, looking away, a playful smirk still on his lips.</p><p>John took out the hook from the water and stood up, hovering over Arthur who still had that smug look on his face as he looked up, leaning comfortably against the rock next to his three fishes.  </p><p>“Don’t try to act all innocent when your face literally screams guilty.”</p><p>Arthur frowned at him. “Faces can’t scream,” he said, completely oblivious.</p><p>“I knew I wouldn’t catch as much as you but you sabotaged me.”</p><p>“What does that even mean?” the merman asked, still confused.</p><p>“it means that you messed up my chances even more!” John explained. Arthur, that bastard, chuckled.</p><p>“I did no such thing,” he assured, clearly amused by John’s outburst.</p><p>“Liar,” John accused him. “Not only you scared all the fish by swimming next to my bait, you made me pull it out two times!”</p><p>“You’re just angry you lost,” Arthur noticed, propping his head on his hand.</p><p>“This wasn't a fair competition in the first place, you prick!”</p><p>Arthur barked out a laugh and John almost forgot to be angry at him. It was funny that a silly argument about fishing riled him worse than yesterday’s secret.</p><p>“I didn’t hear that one before,” the merman admitted, sending John a gummy smile.</p><p>“Maybe I should call you that from now one,” he suggested. “Prick.” Arthur snorted. “Let’s do another fair competition, huh? How about a race on land? Or which of us can write more words in a minute? Or- AAAH!”</p><p>John screeched when Arthur suddenly pulled him down into the water. He hit the surface with a big splash and started sinking right away. He kicked and threw his hands around, trying to locate the rocks, then he could climb back on them but they weren’t there! And he was sinking, and he didn’t get a chance to take a breath. It looked awfully similar to the day he first met Arthur.</p><p>Arthur. Why the hell wasn't he doing anything?!</p><p>Just as John thought that, the merman grabbed him by the front of his shirt and hulled him up above the surface. John took a panicked gulp of air and clutched to the rocks he was pushed against while Arthur laughed.</p><p>Shaking, from fear only, because water was quite warm, John looked at him furious. “The hell was that, you prick!”</p><p>Arthur needed a minute to answer. “Sorry, I wanted to shut you up,” he explained himself and gave out another chuckle. “It worked, right?”</p><p>“I could’ve drowned!” he shouted, wrapping his arms tighter around the rock, because it was the only thing keeping him from sinking. He couldn’t feel the bottom, at all, so he waved his legs uselessly.</p><p>“I wouldn’t let you drown,” Arthur promised him, no teasing tone, just honesty. But then the playfulness returned. “But I have to say, I need to surprise you like that more often, because you sounded hilarious.”</p><p>“Fuck you,” he hissed and made a try at climbing the rock belt. When his foot found the steady surface to help him lift himself, he felt a hand on his back. Confused, he looked at Arthur, watching him pleadingly.</p><p>“Stay?”</p><p>“In the water?” The merman nodded. “I don’t know if you noticed but I’m not the best company in the water.”</p><p>“I know, I already saw your two pathetic attempts at swimming.”</p><p>“Yeah? Well, your attempts at trying to convince me to stay here are pathetic as well,” he noticed with a smile that Arthur quickly returned.</p><p>“Come on, it’ll be fun,” the merman kept convincing him. He swam away on his back and playfully hit the surface of the water with his tail, spraying it on already drenched John.</p><p>John shook his head like a wet dog, his hair hitting him on the face. Carefully, he let go with one of his hands to brush them away from his eyes.</p><p>“I still can’t swim, Arthur,” he reminded sadly, seeing how much him joining Arthur meant to the merman. And I'm terrified, he added in his head. He was scared of the ocean before, but after witnessing how it looked during a storm and listening to Arthur stories about various creatures living there, he had no intentions of getting into this bottomless hell. </p><p>“Don’t worry, I ain’t leaving you alone,” the merman promised, getting closer to him. Arthur stopped right in front of him and John could feel his tail in the water, brushing softly against his legs. “You will be holding me the whole time,” he proposed shily, blushing.</p><p>“Holding you?” he repeated, his body already buzzing with excitement at the prospect of being close to Arthur for god knows how long.</p><p>Arthur nodded. “I’ll swim for both of us,” he explained further. “Baby merpeople do it all the time, cling to their parents back.”</p><p>“I’m not little,” John pointed out with a laugh and then screamed in panic when his leg slipped from the rock and he almost went under water when he lost the grips in his hands as well. Arthur pushed him against the rock in time, trapping him between it and his body, his hands on both sides of John’s head, ready to help him if he would start drowning. Or ready to make the merman lean forward so he could capture John's lips with his.</p><p>The merman smirked at him from this position, feeding John’s fantasies even more. He gulped and grabbed Arthur’s waist to make sure he wouldn’t swim away.</p><p>“I think I’m strong enough to carry you,” he said and looked John’s body over, making him blush. “You’re even lighter in the water anyway.”</p><p>John was still conflicted. On one hand he would be able to experience the ocean in the safest circumstances possible. He trusted Arthur, he knew the merman wouldn’t let him drown or be eaten by a shark or something else. And being plastered to his back with John’s arms wrapped around the merman’s neck for an hour, maybe more, sounded like heaven.</p><p>On the other, this was still an ocean. Vast, deep, dark ocean that a simple storm could turn into a raging beast. The waves were small today, almost non-existent but Pearson told John enough about the weather at sea for him to know it could change quickly. And if the stronger wind would catch him and Arthur in the open ocean, only one of them would be perfectly safe.</p><p>It was so damn dangerous and scary, John trembled at the sole idea of being far away from land without a boat. He could die so easily. What if he would get tired and slip off Arthur? What if Arthur would get tired of carrying him and wouldn’t be able to do that anymore?</p><p>Gulping again, John looked into Arthur's pleading eyes. He really wanted John to swim with him and John felt bad for refusing.</p><p>“I don’t know,” he admitted and watched pointy rocks behind the merman. Behind those there was the whole Pacific Ocean, the biggest body of water on Earth. Home to many sharks and other creatures from a nightmare that John couldn’t even imagine. Arthur's home. “When I was a child, I almost drowned, I've been scared of water ever since.”</p><p>Arthur looked at him with sympathy. “I get that,” he assured softly. John’s breath got stuck in his throat. “I’m not going to force you to swim, I just want to show you my home. You always show me something from your world, I want to return the favor.”</p><p>“You don’t have to do that.”</p><p>“I want to.” Arthur was looking hopeful again. “Please? I won’t let anything happen to you.”</p><p>God, that tone was making John’s stomach flip. He was still so terrified of getting into the open ocean but he trusted his friend and he wanted to see what was out there. Despite his fear, he was as much curious about the ocean as Arthur was about the land.</p><p>“Okay,” he breathed out nervously, still unsure. He wasn’t certain if he was making the right thing till Arthur beamed at him, so happy that he got to show John his home.</p><p>“Thank you, John,” he said and hugged him unexpectedly.</p><p>It caused them to move from the rocks, so John quickly wrapped both his arms and legs around the merman to stay afloat. Maybe he went a little too far with legs but he couldn’t let such an opportunity to climb Arthur like a goddamn tree just pass. It was nice and the merman was okay with it too.</p><p>“You’re welcome,” John replied quietly and tightened his hold on Arthur when he suddenly moved away from him. “What are you doing?” he asked, panicked.</p><p>Arthur chuckled. “You need to be on my back,” he reminded and grabbed one of John’s hands, prying it away from himself. John whimpered, honest to god whimpered like a little child. “It’s alright,” Arthur assured him. “Just grab the rocks again.”</p><p>Grab the rocks, he could do that. Arthur turned them both so John could reach to the belt. When he grabbed one rock with his hand, John reluctantly let go with his legs but still kept his other hand on the merman’s shoulder, who turned again, presenting his back to him.</p><p>John gladly returned to holding his friend, clinging to him a little too tightly.</p><p>“You need to take away your legs,” the merman instructed him. “I need those muscles.”</p><p>The tail moved and John felt said muscles flex under his tights. It made him shiver with want, which was absolutely unacceptable right now. Not when his crotch was pressed against Arthur.</p><p>“Right,” he rasped, embarrassed. He didn’t really want to let go again but he understood that Arthur needed his whole tail for this. So he did what he was asked to and tried to relax but not too much, because he still needed to keep holding his friend. “What now?”</p><p>“Now we swim,” Arthur answered simply and put his body horizontally. John gripped him tighter when they moved for the first time, slowly, smoothly, it almost felt like they were gliding. “You good?”</p><p>“So far,” John replied, tense. His breathing was a little fast and his heart felt like it was going to jump out of his chest. At least it wasn't the fault of Arthur's charm this time.  </p><p>“Good, we’ll swim around a little before we go to the open ocean.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>When Arthur reached the stone wall, he turned and swam right next to it, slowly circling the bay. His tail moved lazily in the water, barely shifting but sometimes brushing against John’s legs. Maybe it was even deliberate, to help calm John down.</p><p>He was calm. Far from comfortable but he wasn’t losing his mind because he was in a water deep enough to not feel the bottom. And on a merman’s back. He was literally lying on it, the whole weight of his body from waist to shoulders was resting on Arthur who didn’t even seem to be struggling. He swam as if he was doing it alone, beside his tail, no part of his body was really moving.</p><p>John took a few calming breaths and tried to lose his hold a little. It surely couldn’t be comfortable for Arthur or his gills that he could feel opening and closing sometimes whenever the water washed over them.  </p><p>He had no idea what worked eventually, slow swimming in circles or Arthur’s presence, but John felt himself relax and moved his hands to grip Arthur’s shoulders instead of choking him around the neck. It allowed the merman to turn his head and look back at him, sending John a reassuring smile.</p><p>John smiled back, the knots of fear in his stomach being replaced by the butterflies. “I think I'm good.”</p><p>“Good, take a deep breath then.”</p><p>“What?” he asked, dumbfounded.</p><p>Arthur turned and swam through the middle of the bay. “We need to dive to leave the bay,” the merman explained, amused by John’s reaction. “Not for long, just a few seconds, I’ll be as fast as I can.”</p><p>John didn’t like it at all but he didn’t want to bail now. So when Arthur was almost by the stone wall separating them from the open ocean, John closed his eyes tight and took a deep breath.</p><p>And then Arthur dived.</p><p>When water slowly surrounded John, trapping him from every side, he almost panicked. It covered his closed eyes first, then filled his ears, dulling his hearing. It felt like it entered his nose too, even though he wasn't breathing and he knew it was impossible. But he still almost snorted to get rid of it and in the process, he almost let go of the precious oxygen.</p><p>With a pounding heart, he clutched to Arthur again as he swam quickly, his tail pushing them both through the water. Something brushed John’s back and he realized it was a rock, most likely an entrance to the bay. He kept his eyes closed but he felt when Arthur swam towards the surface.</p><p>John started gulping the air greedily the moment his head was above the water. Arthur chuckled under him, his back shaking with it. “Still good?”</p><p>Breathing hard, John cautiously opened his eyes and looked ahead through the few strands of hair covering his view. No land, no ships, just endless water. His heart that didn’t even have a chance to calm down after the dive speeded up and John's body filled with terror.  </p><p>“Not at all,” he said truthfully. He was scared, terrified even and they only left the bay.</p><p>“We can go back,” Arthur offered, probably feeling how tense John was and definitely feeling how tight his grip was. “I won’t mind.”</p><p>But John would mind, because he would never be ready for this if he would keep pushing it for later. He needed to do it now, when he already went this far. He may not be so brave the second time.</p><p>Besides, he was pretty sure he wouldn’t survive diving again this soon after the last time. He wanted to stay on the surface a little longer.</p><p>“I'm fine,” he assured. Arthur looked back at him, not believing a word. “Alright, I’m not, but I can handle it,” he promised. The merman still didn’t look convinced. “I really want to do it, Arthur. Yes, I'm scared, but I can get over it if I stay here long enough.”</p><p>“You don’t have to force yourself for me.”</p><p>“I know that.” He really did. “I told you, I want to do it, I ain’t forcing myself, I just need a minute.”</p><p>“Take as long as you need.”</p><p>“You won’t get tired?” John worried. “What if I need an hour? Or two?”</p><p>“This is floating, John, I was born for this,” Arthur answered, an amusement in his voice.</p><p>“What if something attacks us?”</p><p>“Like sharks?”</p><p>“Yeah, like that.”</p><p>“They can attack even if we swim.”</p><p>“Was this supposed to calm me down?”</p><p>Arthur chuckled. “We can swim then. Slowly of course.”</p><p>“Slowly,’ John repeated, taking deep breaths. “Okay, swim.”</p><p>“It’ll be alright, John,” Arthur assured him and started swimming. “I’ll show you so many things, you will like it!”</p><p>“Like what?” he asked, looking back nervously at the land that was slowly getting smaller.</p><p>“I will show you where Boadicea lives,” Arthur started making a list. “Some nice underwater caves, fish you had never seen before. Maybe we’ll get lucky and find dolphins. Or a whale!”</p><p>That sounded really nice. Arthur’s excitement was contagious and the more he talked about amazement that were awaiting, the more relaxed John was becoming. Whenever he looked back at the coast he was still tensing a little but he wasn’t scared. Not with Arthur under him, ready to take him back whenever John asked.</p><p>He had no intention for that so far.</p><p>Without fear to distract him, John could enjoy the swim properly. Arthur was of course the focus of his attention, the merman was the only thing keeping him alive in this unwelcoming habitat. But slowly, John moved his attention from the feeling of the strong body under him, to everything else.</p><p>He watched the almost flat ocean, as it went and went, seemingly endless. He knew there was a land somewhere there, that if they would keep swimming, they would reach Asia eventually, but right now, from the point of view of a tiny human, it looked like the ocean would never end and they could just swim and swim, never finding land.</p><p>It was scary but in some way also beautiful. Who knows what was at the bottom of it, what mysteries it held. John discovered one already, completely on accident, and now it was showing him other secrets that very few humans would have an opportunity to see or experience.</p><p>“Ready to see something fun?” Arthur asked suddenly, bringing John back from his thoughts.</p><p>“Sure,” he agreed, actually excited about what he was about to see.</p><p>“Alright, take a deep breath, we’re going to dive again.”</p><p>He was afraid that would happen eventually. But diving when he was ready wasn’t that scary, he already did that once, he could do it again. Arthur would never let him drown.</p><p>John took a deep breath like he was asked and once again Arthur knew when he could dive. The merman went under the surface slowly, and John with him. He closed his eyes tightly and felt uncomfortable again when water around muffled everything he heard.</p><p>The ocean was making weird sounds, deep and booming. It almost sounded as if it was breathing or humming. It was almost overwhelming and with closed eyes, even claustrophobic. Thank god it didn’t take long, a few seconds under and Arthur resurfaced. John didn’t feel like he was close to suffocating, but he still took a deep breath as if he wasn't breathing for a whole minute.</p><p>“You need to have your eyes open for this, John,” Arthur chuckled.</p><p>John blushed, realizing what he had done. “It was instinct,” he explained himself, making the merman chuckle again. He realized Arthur turned, allowing John to see the land again. It was so far already, and they swam so slowly! How long John had been lost in his thoughts?</p><p>“Ready where you are.”</p><p>John got his breathing under control first and then took another deep breath. Arthur dived the next second and John forced his eyes to stay open this time. It was hard, his brain was telling him to close them, protect them from the water but he fought it and he almost stupidly gasped when he noticed what Arthur was showing him.</p><p>Fishes. A whole school of them, huge like a house or even bigger, swimming right in front of them and moving together like one animal, their silver sides glistened in the rays of sun slipping under the surface. John couldn’t turn his eyes away, he didn’t even blink despite the light burning sensation caused by the sea water. He kept watching the hypnotic fishes, turning his gaze away only when Arthur looked back at him grinning, his black eyes shining with excitement.</p><p>John wanted to grin back, full toothy grin but he just curled his lips, afraid to part them even for a moment.</p><p>They swam alongside the school of fish until Arthur unexpectedly took a sharp turn and headed right for them and then up. John gripped him tighter and on instinct, almost closed his eyes again. He was glad he didn’t when fish separated for them, opening like sea in front of Moses.</p><p>Arthur took them through the open space to the surface. John looked back and noticed fish coming back together, once again swimming like one, huge organism. He was so amazed he forgot to start breathing again.</p><p>“Holy shit,” he whispered, trying to see the school of fish again. There! They were right under them, from this side looking like a cloud moving in the sky, only alive and underwater.</p><p>“I guess you like it then?” Arthur said, a grin hearable in his voice. When he turned to John, there it was, this wide grin again that easily made John’s heart skip a beat.</p><p>This time, John grinned back. “It was amazing!” he explained, looking down. “Do it again.”</p><p>Arthur laughed cheerfully. “Deep breath,” he reminded.</p><p>They got underwater again and Arthur went straight for the schools of fish. They scattered again, avoiding them like a plague and closing behind them, for a few seconds surrounding them from every direction. Arthur swatted playfully at them and John watched as this living cloud passed above them quickly, synchronized like nothing John had ever seen before.</p><p>Arthur took them back to the surface and they continued their journey. John, still amazed by the sight he just witnessed, kept turning around, almost expecting the school to chase them and reach the surface as well like some gigantic monster rearing its head.</p><p>“Arthur, that was… incredible!” he said again, grinning at his friend. “Those were thousands of fish!” </p><p>Arthur chuckled in amusement. “I'm glad you like it so far,” he admitted and looked back.</p><p>“They moved so fast,” John pointed out, still in awe. “They knew exactly where other fishes were going.”</p><p>“Yeah, it looks amazing but not so much when you’re hungry and those are the only fishes in the area.”</p><p>John laughed at that. “It doesn’t look easy to catch them,” he agreed. “Where to next?”</p><p>“Let’s see Boadicea next,” Arthur suggested, already turning south.</p><p>“Lead the way.”</p><p>On the way there, Arthur explained more how a school of fish is a good food source, but only if there are other animals like dolphins or sharks doing the job too, other way it was hard to catch one of them. Especially when seagulls were attacking from the sky as well.</p><p>John listened with interest, asking some questions here and there to keep Arthur talking, because he loved the excitement in the merman’s voice as he shared his knowledge proudly.</p><p>With a mood like that, the ocean wasn’t very scary anymore. Even if John still didn’t trust it.</p><p>Arthur swam faster this time now that John was more comfortable. Even with additional weight, the merman was very fast, swatting his tail up and down with powerful moves. Reaching the coast took them around ten minutes and even from afar John could see a beach full of sea lions. But before they got close to the shore, seals that were swimming in the water got interested in the visitors.</p><p>Before John realized, a whole bunch of them was swimming around and with them, almost as if they were trying to make Arthur race them. Which he did, speeding up significantly. John watched amused as seals started jumping out of the water playfully. They really were like underwater dogs.</p><p>“You want to see them underwater?” Arthur asked.</p><p>John answered by taking a deep breath, and with a smile on his lips, he let the water cover him completely as they dived together. It stopped being so scary, the water feeling less like a trap and more like some blanket but in constant contact with his skin, always following his whole body with cold and never leaving him alone. Like a sentient presence humming in his water filled ears.</p><p>Sea lions dived with them and started swimming in circles when Arthur just hanged in the water. One of the seals stopped right in front of them and looked at them closely before rolling around and swimming away. The other took its place and backflipped in the water, its nose almost touching its tail while doing so.</p><p>When John’s lungs started to burn a little, he patted the merman on the shoulder and Arthur took him to the surface again.</p><p>“Sorry, I always get distracted by seals,” he explained, a little guilty.</p><p>“That’s fine.” John patted him again, this time to reassure him. He was a little out of breath but he was okay. “So, Boadicea?”</p><p>“Let’s try to find her.”</p><p>Seals escorted them to the coast where there were hundreds of them just lazing around. Arthur swam through the deeper water, fighting with the waves that were trying to push him towards the beach. “Why can’t we just go there?”</p><p>“I don’t want to be attacked by males,” Arthur replied, sweeping his eyes through the crowd of sea lions to spot his girl. There were really a lot of them and they were loud, louder than the waves.</p><p>“Are you going to even recognize her?”</p><p>Instead of answering, Arthur whistled loudly. </p><p>“That should catch her attention,” the merman said, smirking.</p><p>John huffed in amusement, doubting that one sea lion would be able to hear that sound over all those barking, but to his surprise, he soon saw one of the seals hurriedly moving through the crowd or rather on it. Sea lions were already lying one on another but they still reacted badly when one of their own started stepping on them.</p><p>Soon the seal reached the water and jumped happily into it, swimming right towards them.</p><p>“There is my girl,” Arthur cooed sweetly and then laughed when Boadicea poked her head out of the water right in front of him. The merman scratched her and kept laughing as the seal was nudging him back, clearly asking for play. “Can’t do that, Bo, he would die from fear.”</p><p>“No I wouldn’t,” John protested, offended. It got Boadicea’s attention. The seal swam closer to him and nudged him with her nose. He chuckled and a little reluctantly scratched her in a greeting. “Remember me, lady?”</p><p>Whatever was the answer when she made a couple of sounds, John took it as happiness.</p><p>“She definitely remembers the fish you gave her,” Arthur joked, watching as the seal started nudging John more urgently. “Let’s go before she poke you off my back.”</p><p>“She can do that?” John asked, horrified. Arthur chuckled and John realized he’d been played. Again. ”Asshole.”</p><p>“Hey, I ain’t holding you, if you won’t hold tight enough, she might,” Arthur pointed out and turned around, taking them to another place.</p><p>Boadicea followed.</p><p>“If I hold you tight, I will suffocate you, you want that?” John threatened him.</p><p>“You weren't holding that tight.”</p><p>“I still may.”</p><p>John gripped Arthur’s shoulder tighter just to demonstrate he could. When he felt those shoulders shaking in his hold, John grinned dumbly and completely lovestruck. He loosened his grip and adjusted it to wrap his arms around Arthur’s neck again, making sure he wasn't pressing against the gills. When the merman didn’t protest, John relaxed on his friend’s back, enjoying the sun, the waves, and the safety Arthur was providing him despite John’s worst surrounding them.</p><p>Boadicea left them at some point when Arthur took the further south where the water was clearer and sand under was almost white. But what was swimming around was what caught John’s attention. They dived and John watched in amazement how dozens of different colorful fishes swam around some rocks and various plants while other animals walked on the sandy bottom or among something that resembled the grass.</p><p>Wherever they were, it almost resembled a big city on land, full of different species just like cities were populated with people of different nationalities. It looked breathtaking, this whole diversity of animals hidden just under the surface.</p><p>With breaks for breath for John, they swam around the whole area, each dive easier than the previous. During every break, Arthur was telling John what some fishes and other animals were called in his language, then they were diving again for almost a minute and John just admired the beauty around him. He reached for some of the fishes and he didn’t even feel bad when they swam away from him in fear.</p><p>He touched the sand, curious if it was as smooth as it looked.</p><p>It was, it slipped  between his fingers almost like water. He almost grinned.</p><p>John didn’t know where to look at some point, he wanted to see all and not miss anything. Thankfully Arthur had no problem with that and moved as slowly as he could, speeding up only when he had to bring John back to the surface. But John could feel his friend’s excitement, Arthur wanted to show him so many things the slow pace was practically killing him.</p><p>John couldn’t help but smile at that. Adorable, it was simply adorable. He wondered if he was looking the same yesterday when he brought the Breton for Arthur to ride. Probably. They both liked to show each other new things.</p><p>The merman shoved him entrances to the caves, underwater arches pointed out an octopus hidden in some shell. When it left it, John couldn’t believe that an animal the size of an opossum squeezed itself into a can size shell.</p><p>The octopus ran away from them, hiding into some other tight space right before John’s eyes. He couldn’t say anymore it was impossible.</p><p>John had no idea how much time they spent in those waters but he caught himself thinking that he didn’t want to leave. No matter how many things Arthur was showing him, grinning all the time and watching John’s reaction, there was always something new to see. And if there wasn’t, Arthur entertained him by swimming playfully like previously seals.</p><p>The first time he rolled around, spreading his fins wide, John almost panicked because he was sure he was going to be thrown off the merman’s back. He wrapped his arms tighter and didn’t let go till Arthur was swimming normally again. The merman looked back at him teasingly and John wanted so much to call him an asshole but the glare had to be enough.</p><p>It was easier the next time, even when Arthur made a loop, for a moment confusing John where was the surface and where was the bottom, making him slightly dizzy. But it was still fun and exciting. For a moment, he even felt like a merman himself, the joy that was pouring out of his friends as he did more tricks passing onto John and filling his body with the same thrill the merman was experiencing right now.</p><p>At one point when Arthur was playing, a turtle showed up, gliding slowly and peacefully through the water. After making sure John had enough air, the merman approached the animal. It didn’t get spooked, the turtle didn’t pay them any attention.</p><p>John reached out his hand and touched it, first the shell, then rubbed it’s head like he would do with a dog. No reaction but John still felt the need to grin, because he was touching a sea turtle! How many people, especially those that were as scared of water as him, could say the same?</p><p>He gently grabbed the flipper as well, just keeping his palm around as the turtle waved it gently to keep moving forward. The skin felt different than on turtles on land.</p><p>John had to let go of the animal when his lungs demanded air again. By this point Arthur knew when John would need to take a breath and he didn’t need to be told to swim to the surface, he just did and in a matter of a second John was gasping for air, filling his lungs with precious oxygen.</p><p>“I like the turtle,” he admitted when his breathing got to normal. Arthur was swimming on the surface in the meantime, but he wasn’t moving in one direction like usual, he was swimming in a circle.</p><p>The merman chuckled. “I like them too, especially the little one. I will show you hatchlings one day,” he promised, staring at something. “I don’t want to scare you but there is a shark nearby.”</p><p>John froze and held his breath even if it wasn't the time for that.</p><p>Shark. A goddamn shark was nearby. And Arthur said that as it wasn’t a problem.</p><p>“Well, you scared me.” John was glad it was so funny for the merman who snorted. “Where?” he asked, tensing with each second he wasn't seeing the shark.</p><p>Arthur nodded towards the direction. “Just ahead.”</p><p>The water was clear enough that John had no problem with spotting the big, predatory fish. And he didn’t like how big it was.</p><p>“Bloody hell,” he whispered. It looked bigger than Arthur. “Please tell me you can fight it off.”</p><p>The merman had the audacity to snort again. “It’s not dangerous, John.”</p><p>“It’s a shark,” John argued, not daring to take his eyes off it, even if he really wanted to glare at Arthur right now. The merman was even watching him over his shoulder instead of the giant shark swimming nearby.</p><p>“It’s a man eater-”</p><p>“Man eater?!” he repeated, horrified and ready to learn how to swim in a second if that shark would start heading towards them. So far it wasn’t but it was standing on their way to the bay. For the first time, John was glad for the ocean being this big. They could avoid it by swimming miles away from it.</p><p>“-they don’t attack so openly,” Arthur finished casually. “She’s probably here to clean her skin.”</p><p>“How do you know it’s a she?” John asked. He tensed even more when he noticed the shark was closer to them now.</p><p>“I can swim closer and show you.”</p><p>“Absolutely not! Have you lost your mind?”</p><p>“I promise you she won’t hurt you,” Arthur assured, amused.</p><p>“You were attacked by one once,” he reminded the merman. How could Arthur still trust those animals?</p><p>“Accidently.” As if that was making it better. “Will it help if we stay away from her teeth?”</p><p>“Not really, no,” he admitted, eyeing the shark nervously. He wished he had his gun with him but it would be useless underwater anyway. All he had with him was a knife, everything else was left in the bay. “I will stab it if it tries anything.”</p><p>“She isn’t that fast to attack us at her side, I’ll just swim away if she tries anything. Which she won’t, she’s definitely here to get cleaned.”</p><p>“I would say she came here to eat, there is plenty of fish here.”</p><p>“Sharks these big don’t eat such fish,” Arthur lectured him and started swimming. John gripped him tightly right away. “Deep breath.”</p><p>He was going to regret it, he knew he would.</p><p>Arthur dived and swam closer to the shark surrounded by some small fishes sticking to her skin. Maybe Arthur was right and she was there just to get clean. But John still didn’t like her teeth she was showing to the whole world.</p><p>The primitive part of his brain was fighting for a flight response. He needed to get out of here, now! This wasn't his habitat, he had no chance against the shark, he had no gun, just a knife that wouldn’t even sink deep into her because she was big, smaller than he thought she was, but still big, at least as long as Arthur and twice as massive. If not more.</p><p>And even if she was swimming around in a non-threatening way, John still felt uneasy being so close. He heard the stories, Arthur told him one himself, he saw the scars left by teeth like that. And yet the merman was swimming eagerly towards the shark like there was nothing to be scared of.</p><p>John flinched when they were really close and the female suddenly turned, not towards them but it was still enough to scare him. Arthur followed, swimming right behind her tail and then got under, pointing at something and checking if John was watching.</p><p>Then he swam to the surface, not bothered by a shark still swimming under them. At least if it would attack, it would surely get Arthur’s tail first and maybe it would be happy with it, leaving John alone.</p><p>“You saw her underside?” Arthur asked while John was getting his breathing under control, both from holding his breath and from being scared. He nodded. “Males look a little different. This is definitely a female. I would show you but there is no other shark around.”</p><p>Thank god.</p><p>“Can you keep an eye on her, please?” John was frantically trying to locate the shark under them.</p><p>“If she wanted to attack, she would’ve done that minutes ago when she first arrived.”</p><p>John felt himself paling. “She was there for minutes and you only just told me about her?” he hissed, angry.</p><p>“You were having fun, I didn’t want to disturb you,” the merman explained himself, a stupid grin on his face. “I was keeping an eye on her, don’t worry.”</p><p>“I would like to know when there is a giant shark swimming around while I’m in the water,” John informed his friend, scowling at him.</p><p>Arthur ignored him. “Let’s say hi to her.”</p><p>“I thought we just did.”</p><p>The merman smirked and gave him the time to take a breath before he dived again, almost bumping into the shark. John watched her with big eyes, waiting for her to turn sharply and attack but she didn’t, she just continued swimming through the shallow waters, completely ignoring them.</p><p>Arthur swam closer and joined her side. John froze again and stared at the giant shark and into her black eye. It was so lifeless, just the kind of eye that a monster should have. But the more he stared into it and it stared back, the less alien it seemed and started to look gentle, even a little silly, not fitting such a dangerous animal.</p><p>They took a short break for breath and returned to the shark’s side. During the second encounter, John noticed something that looked like freckles scattered all around her pointy nose. They were making her look almost cute.</p><p>He looked closer at the teeth, a few rows of them. Those teeth could easily tore him to pieces yet the shark was doing no such thing. Right now, she acted more like a gentle cow than some kind of predator.</p><p>After another break, Arthur touched the shark. Just laid his palm flat on her big body and stroked her like he stroked Old Boy or that Breton from yesterday. She didn’t react, she swam, moving her body to the sides gently. Fishes were still on her skin, feeling safe.</p><p>Encouraged, John laid his palm on the shark as well. Her skin was a little rough when he brushed it but pleasant to touch. It was cool too. He felt every move of her powerful body that was made to kill but in that moment, she was just a peaceful animal. Breathing, living animal like his horse, like Arthur, like himself.</p><p>She didn’t seem dangerous. She was, he knew that but she was no monster like he thought just a moment ago. A monster would rip his arm off, not even because of the hunger, just for fun. If that shark would do that, it was only to feed herself. But she wasn't doing even that.</p><p>While Arthur patted her belly, John boldly moved his hand closer to her jaw. He didn’t dare to put it inside but he kept it close. Nothing, no attack. It was unbelievable. It was a predator, a dangerous animal, and he felt as safe as if he was touching a sheep. If he tried to do the same with a bear or a cougar or some other dangerous predator on land, he would’ve ended dead. Simple as that. At best, the animal would simply run after hurting him. </p><p>But not her. She didn’t feel threatened or scared by him. She knew she was the queen of this world and he couldn’t harm her. So she wasn't harming them as well and just let them swim next to her.</p><p>All the fear left John’s body, replaced by respect for such a magnificent creature. Now he understood why Arthur wasn't afraid.</p><p>Smiling, he turned to the merman to see him smiling already as well while watching John with fondness and happiness in his black eyes, reminding those of the shark.</p><p>Patting the shark for the last time, Arthur and John swam to the surface while the female continued her journey.</p><p>“What did I tell you?” Arthur asked smugly. “Sharks ain’t so bad.”</p><p>“I guess they ain’t,” John replied with a joyful laugh, losing his breath for a moment. Breathing was starting to get hard. “She was so calm and gentle.”</p><p>“She was,” Arthur agreed. The fondness was back but this time in the blue of his eyes, John’s favorite. “Told you they ain’t so dangerous.”</p><p>“I still wouldn’t go alone into water with one of them.”</p><p>Maybe he just saw sharks in a new light but he still would be cautious around them most of the time. He only got close to this one because he had an expert with him.</p><p>Arthur snickered. “You would sooner drown than she would attack you,” he pointed out. They were still floating without any purpose. It looked like the merman didn’t have to do anything to stay afloat but John could feel his tail still moving in the water or fins brushing against his legs to keep them on the surface in that position.</p><p>John smiled. “You know what?”</p><p>“I’m an asshole?”</p><p>“That too,” he snorted, making Arthur laugh as well. “But you’re probably right.”</p><p>They chuckled together again. Arthur looked back at him, his eyes glistening with joy just like yesterday when he had a chance to ride a horse. Now John was definitely the only reason to make them look like that and it made his heart pound against his ribcage. He wondered if Arthur could feel it against his back.</p><p>“I can drop you so we could check if you want.”</p><p>John tightened his grip on Arthur automatically. “Don’t you dare, I’ll stab you,” he warned, but didn’t dare to reach for the knife. That would mean letting go with one hand and after Arthur pulled him into the water one time already, he wasn't sure the merman wouldn’t do something like that again just to play with him.</p><p>A wicked look on Arthur’s face when he looked back at John again only confirmed that. He would do it, John had no doubts about that. Thankfully he didn’t, John had enough scares for today.</p><p>“You want to dive some more?”</p><p>“Nah, my lungs hurt, let’s go back,” John answered. He never had trouble with breathing but now every single breath felt like there were thousands of needles piercing through his lungs. And he was a little cold. Open ocean wasn't as warm as the water in the bay. And Arthur wasn't helping with being cold all the time either. “I think we’ve been there three hours or something.”</p><p>That’s what the position of the sun was pointing at.</p><p>“Home then,” Arthur approved and started swimming back towards the bay.</p><p>John pondered a little about the word home. It really felt like that this morning during breakfast. </p><p>“Thank you for today, Arthur,” John said eventually. “For helping me deal with my fears. Ocean ain’t so bad as I thought. And for showing me all this. It was amazing, I had fun.”</p><p>He was a really lucky fella right now. He experienced things many people didn’t even dream of in their whole life, saw so many amazing things and animals, touched them even. He patted a shark for god’s sake! A men eater bigger than a horse and lived to tell the tale! Too bad there was no one he could share it with, not with the gang, not with strangers.</p><p>But it didn’t matter. He was going to write down everything in his journal and draw new amazing animals he’d seen. This was one of the best days in his life. It was hard to believe he had to go into the water for this and it wasn't even that bad.</p><p>But the best part of this trip was no doubt Arthur and his excitement. If it was possible, the merman was even happier than yesterday or at least very close to it. John would never forget all those smiles his friend gave him through the whole swim whenever he was showing something new, something that for the merman was probably nothing special but for John it was a brand new experience, brand new world and so, it was making Arthur enjoy it almost as if he was just discovering it for the first time as well.</p><p>Even if John didn’t like any of those things he’d seen today, which he did, very much, he would still have fun just because of Arthur’s eagerness to show him the life in the ocean. His home.</p><p>“No problem. And I had fun too,” he admitted a little shyly. “It’s nice, you know? Showing someone what’s important to you and them liking it, appreciating it.”</p><p>“Yeah,” he agreed, smiling fondly at the merman. He’d been there already. “I know.”</p><p>They swam in silence for a while, John once again admiring the ocean and the smooth waves. He went a long way from hating it to being captivated by it. All because he met someone who lived in it, someone who showed him it was more than just a dangerous, unfriendly place.</p><p>“You’ve got me thinking,” Arthur spoke up suddenly. “Since I helped you deal with your fear, are you less scared of water now?”</p><p>The merman sounded hopeful, almost like he was already thinking about taking John for another trip like that in the future. Or about teaching him to swim. Which would never happen. John and the water were never meant to be, he would never get into the ocean, or another body of water, without Arthur. But another swim like that? He was more than eager to go again. Water was still terrifying and he wasn't going to love it suddenly, but with Arthur to hold him, he felt safe enough to admire all its beauty from up close.    </p><p>“It can still be dangerous and scary,” he admitted, lying comfortably on Arthur’s back since he had nothing else to do. It was comfortable. The only better place than this would probably be Arthur’s chest. “But it’s beautiful as well.” John nuzzled his face into Arthur’s neck. “Like you,” he added in a whisper, taking in the scent of the ocean on Arthur’s skin.</p><p>“What did you say?” the merman asked, turning his head to him.</p><p>John’s lips curled into a smile and his cheeks blushed. “Nothing,” he assured. He chuckled when Arthur shrugged his shoulders and continued the swim like nothing happened.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>*signs aggressively* I can show you the world!!!</p><p>Good job, John! You defeated your fear! Love makes you just as brave as it makes you dumb 😏 I'm pretty sure if Arthur wasn't in love already, he would fall for you right now, boy. Keep it up and soon you'll finally be able to kiss your favorite merman!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Longing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Next day, John was eating breakfast with everyone, he even sat with his closest friends by the fire. He wanted to show them he still appreciated their company, even if he wasn’t spending as much time with them as usual.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Today he was going to leave again, eager to spend another day with Arthur.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled thinking about the merman and what they did yesterday. It was amazing, John had to cover three pages of his journal to fully describe all the amazing things he witnessed during their dives.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He still couldn’t believe he let that happen. Swimming on the surface while in the open ocean was bad enough but diving? He was reluctant to even wash his face with too much water yet he let Arthur put him completely underwater, trusting that the merman wouldn’t let him drown.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he didn’t. He felt safe with Arthur. Safe enough that he let himself open his eyes and admire the ocean from the side he was sure he would never see.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was so amazing that even if all they saw was the school of fish, John would still consider it a sight one of a million. He wondered if people going through the ocean on big ships ever wondered what was just under them. Probably not, he never wondered, he never was curious about the ocean before he met Arthur.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And now he wanted to go for a trip like that again. Maybe this time they would see dolphins or a whale. He would really love to see a whale, a fully grown one. Or a ship from the bottom but that would never happen. He would never hold his breath long enough for Arthur to swim to the ship and back without anyone seeing them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was looking forward to it, which made him smile again because it was so unbelievable he wanted to return to the water. He thought the sheer fact that he liked sitting near it was enough but apparently, that wasn't his limit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Love surely could do silly things with people.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Bill, you got everything for that robbery?” Javier asked suddenly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was listening to his friends only with one ear and even then he wasn't really paying attention to what they were speaking about, only that they were talking between each other, not even trying to include him in the conversation. He was happy with it because he was busy thinking about Arthur and what they would do today, but when he heard about the robbery, he got interested immediately.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” Bill answered with a full mouth. “Got the ammunition and all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John looked between Javier and Bill, surprised. When did they plan a robbery? And why none of them told him anything about it? Everyone always invited him to those things, he was usually the first person anyone was coming to while looking for another man to work with. He didn’t always join but asking was constant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Except this time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Were they planning it long before John was out of the bed? No, no one planned that long, not a robbery for two people. Did they think he was still unfit to join them? Reverend removed the stitches only yesterday, after John came back to the camp, but he was good as new for a while now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked around to check if someone else was as surprised by this robbery but no one reacted, it wasn't anything new for them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What robbery?” he asked, wanting to know the details.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Javier and Bill looked at him surprised.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, he speaks,” Javier joked eventually, making John roll his eyes at him. “We thought you’re present only with his body while your mind is somewhere else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, he wasn't wrong, but he wasn’t going to admit to that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was listening,” he lied. “So what robbery you’ve been talking about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just a small job,” his friend explained. “There will be a stagecoach coming to the town today, it’s going to be carrying some valuable stuff for the church. Bill and I are going to rob it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That sounded like a fun job, the kind that he would always agree to help in the past or planned himself. Those stagecoaches were always fun, easy to stop, easier than trains at least and with enough money to satisfy the gang’s needs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He almost wanted to go with them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, a little hurt that he was finding out about it just now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When?” Bill asked back. “You’re barely in the camp.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We didn’t think you would be interested, John,” Javier added with sympathy. “You’re always so busy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then he returned to eating.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still no invitation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John couldn’t blame them. Or say it wasn’t true, because what they both said was simple facts. He was leaving the camp for whole days everyday and he felt a little bad for that since the beginning but now it really hit the nerve.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked at his friends again, to see one more time how they reacted but it seemed that no one even blinked. No one shook his head at him, no one backed Javier and Bill up, agreed with them and blamed John for being absent so much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn't sure anymore if he liked this indifference. It was a blessing when it was coming to keeping Arthur a secret but right now, John felt like he wasn’t even welcome here. He was sitting with his friends but he wasn’t even invested enough to talk with them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking away in shame, he finished his breakfast quickly and walked away to get ready to leave. He was always eager to visit Arthur but now, he felt like a bastard doing so. But he couldn’t not go, Arthur would be worried. He didn’t really want to skip the day either but he also wanted to stay and show his friends that he still cared about them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because he cared, he just couldn’t help but want to spend every moment of the day with Arthur. Everyone would surely understand if they knew but he couldn’t tell them and that was the problem. He would have to find another solution to this problem and he didn’t like it because that would mean spending less time with Arthur to share his days with friends as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His stomach was already protesting, twisting tightly in his belly. He didn’t want to be a bad friend but he couldn’t lie to himself either. Being in the camp with others, even going robbing with Bill and Javier, was the least thing he wanted to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If only the day could be longer then…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Who was he trying to fool? If the day lasted over twenty four hours, he would still spend most of it with Arthur. Because whenever he was with the merman it was never enough. Maybe if he would finally kiss Arthur and told him what he felt, the constant longing would get better but John wasn't ready yet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon, he would tell him soon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While packing for the day, John realized the robbery wasn’t the only thing he missed while being gone most of the time. Strauss and Micah were talking not far away from him, the Austrian needed someone to collect the debts from people he lent money too. John wasn’t even aware Strauss started doing that again. John helped him a couple of times in the past but he never liked it much. It felt wrong to strip people from all of their money but he was doing his job. After all, the deal is a deal, even if he felt dirty after.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah had no scruples so he was very eager to beat some poor people and get their money from them. John looked away with disgust. He had no right to be disgusted when he was doing the same but at least he felt guilty about it. Was it making him a better man? No. But it was still putting him higher than Micah and that was something John could be proud of.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Apparently John also missed the moment when Sean started walking. He used a cane that Charles made him out of a stick and he was very slow but he could ride a horse again and was even going to town to scam people in poker.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John didn’t even notice when his friend’s knees got better and he felt like the piece of shit for it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even girls weren’t unproductive. Not that they ever were, they worked hard around the camp, but recently they went to town, Uncle drove them and they had stolen some money from drunk idiots.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t possibly feel even worse than right now when he was leaving the camp. He hoped that at least Arthur’s presence would help bring his mood up. It always worked like a charm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stopped in the town first, visiting the local tailor to finally buy the merman his own hat so he didn’t have to steal John’s all the time when they were sitting on land together. John’s hat fit Arthur perfectly so they wore the same size. With that, choosing the right hat should’ve been easy but it wasn’t. While the tailor had some nice, classic cowboy hats, none seemed to be the one that would look good on Arthur’s head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, he left the shop without the hat but he wasn’t going to give up that easily. Almost everyone had a hat here, if he had to steal it, so what? He was an outlaw, he tried to buy a hat, none was good enough, so now was the time for other ways to obtain one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John walked slowly around the town, watching the hats on people’s heads and hanging in different places, occasionally thinking how often his friends were together in this town, drinking and having fun while he was away.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fact that he wasn’t with them wasn’t the problem, just that he wasn’t even invited. He would’ve said no anyway but the message was clear, no one wanted to spend time with him. He couldn’t blame his friends, he practically abandoned them, no wonder Javier thought he wouldn’t be interested in a robbery.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t take long to find the perfect hat. It wasn't on anyone’s head either so he didn’t have to try very hard to get it, just look around if he was being watched. It was black, with a string of rope around it and worn out a lot but it still looked ten times better than any new hat in the store.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John checked if anyone was paying him any attention before walking next to a hat hanging on a hitching post in front of some building. Swiftly, he grabbed the hat and put it under his arm, walking away calmly. Once he was by his horse, he hid the hat into the saddle bag and rode off, smiling with satisfaction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasted some time in the town so he hurried towards the bay, in need for some comfort from Arthur. The merman would surely help him deal with his problem. Maybe Arthur didn’t know much about friendship, but he was a good listener and had a good instinct for those things. John had no doubt he would feel better after talking with his friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bringing a gift already helped with his mood a little but there was still an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. Normally it would mean he was just happy to see Arthur but he knew it was not it. He felt it though, those butterflies awakening in his belly when he was stepping down the path. For a short moment they overcame the knots in his stomach and when he saw Arthur, swimming carefree in the water, John actually forgot about any of his worries, he just smiled and enjoyed the show till the merman noticed him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, John,” Arthur greeted him and swam closer to the rock wall. John joined him on the other side, hiding the hat behind his back and not caring that he forgot to take his boots off before entering the water. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” John replied and smiled what he could only imagine was dumbly. Arthur smiled back. “I have something for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur's face lit up with excitement. “A gift?” John nodded and pulled a hat from hiding, showing it to the merman who looked at it confused. “A hat?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John blushed, anxious a little. Maybe it was a dumb gift after all, maybe Arthur only liked his hat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You always steal mine so I thought…” John cleared his throat before continuing. “I thought I would give you your own.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur lifted himself from the water and took the hat gently, examining it from every side before he put it on, a wide grin appearing on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It fits perfectly,” he said and spread his arms wide. “How do I look?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shouldn’t ask John that, he would always be biased. Still, John looked him over, admiring for a moment his toned chest and big arms. John’s mouth went a little dry and a small heat pooled low in his abdomen but he ignored both to reply to his friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like an underwater cowboy,” he said, grinning no less wide than Arthur himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The merman chuckled and tipped his hat at him. “Thank you, kind sir.” Arthur reached for him and John eagerly let himself be pulled into a hug he returned right away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was exactly what he needed today, a good hug and Arthur was giving the best, even if his whole body was cold. At moments like that it didn’t really matter because the hug was enough to make him feel warm all over and ignore the cool skin against his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Like always, the hug lasted longer than necessary but both of them didn’t mind. John would happily stay in it longer but Arthur pulled away eventually, still grinning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I actually have something for you too,” the merman admitted and slid down to the water, careful to not let the hat fall from his head and get wet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” John asked and followed after Arthur on land while the merman swam through the water. Even with John on foot Arthur still got faster on the beach. He waited for John but only to dry his hands on his clothes like always. And get rid of grains of sand that got stuck to his palms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The chest with all of Arthur’s possession was opened and the merman rummaged through it, quickly pulling out his journal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I draw you something,” he said and opened the journal in the middle, gently tearing out two pages he then gave to John. “Hope you like it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John opened the connected pages and gasped at the sight of the giant shark looking back at him. It was the female they'd seen yesterday and she looked amazing, almost alive. Arthur put a lot of work into it, he was always drawing well but this one looked especially detailed. And just for him. “You weren't joking when you said you can draw sharks well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You like it?” Arthur asked, clearly a little nervous.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it’s amazing,” John admitted and knelt to give the merman another hug, holding the picture away from his wet body. “Thank you, it’s really great.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re welcome,” Arthur murmured back, his warm breath making John shiver when it hit his neck. The merman didn’t comment, probably taking it for a reaction to the cold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once again, it was Arthur who pulled back. If he didn’t do that, John would probably just push them to the ground and continued hugging the merman there. It really felt good, it made his mind go fuzzy, not thinking about how horrible this day started.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was better now. Not great, but better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I actually drew her too.” John pulled his journal out once he was free and after putting his gift inside to keep it safe, he found the drawing he made last night. He was barely seeing anything he was so tired because of the swimming and laudanum that Swanson gave him after removing the stitches. But he forced himself to stay awake so he could finish the drawing. It didn’t look impressive but he was proud of it nonetheless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur took the journal from him to take a closer look. “You’re getting better, John,” he said after admiring the picture. That was what Hosea told him yesterday too. He invited himself into John’s tent while he was drawing the turtle from yesterday and he was really impressed with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Hosea’s pride didn’t feel as good as Arthur’s, even though Hosea was probably better at drawing than the merman and definitely had bigger experience.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” he replied sheepishly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mind if I keep it?” Arthur asked suddenly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like I get to keep yours?” John couldn’t believe when Arthur nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My journal is missing a shark now,” he explained simply.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Couldn’t you just draw another one?” John questioned. He couldn’t understand why Arthur wanted such an average drawing when he could have something much better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur gave him a half shrug. “I like this one,” he explained simply. “It’s really good, I want to be able to look at it whenever I want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John blushed at the confession and looked away. Maybe it wasn’t about how good the drawing was but about who drew it. “If you’re sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thankfully he drew the shark on an empty page he could tore out without losing another drawing or his thoughts. He gave it to Arthur who just like him, hid it in his own journal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” he said genuinely, and with a dashing smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just this grin alone was making the thought about not seeing it every day even more painful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And just like that, John’s mood was ruined again, if it was better at any point at all. It must’ve shown on his face because Arthur’s smile vanished suddenly, replaced by the worry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Something’s wrong?” he asked quickly and got closer to John who sat down with a sigh on the sand. Arthur took a seat right next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing just…” He sighed again, not really sure how to explain this to not hurt Arthur. “I just noticed something today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John bit into his lips nervously. Maybe he shouldn’t be saying anything and just deal with it himself. Just lie to Arthur that he was needed at the gang more so he wouldn’t feel like John didn’t want to spend time with him anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But lying was the least thing he wanted to do. They promised no to lie to each other, not to keep secrets and John was already holding one. Hiding another one, so early after Arthur revealed his, would not only be bad, it would hurt the merman more than saying the truth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And secrets were what put him in this problem in the first place. He couldn’t tell his friends the truth so he started to lie. He wasn’t going to cover one lie with another, soon it would start to pile up and crush him eventually. He was more mature than that, even if he didn’t always act like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Two fellas from my gang were speaking about robbery today,” he started explaining slowly, careful what words he was using. He didn’t want any misinterpretations. “It’s happening today, they’re probably on their way to the spot as we speak. They planned it for days probably and I never knew. Never even heard of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And that’s bad because…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I always knew when something like that was happening!” He didn’t mean to raise his voice but he was so frustrated with himself and the game he was playing to keep Arthur safe. He didn’t regret lying for him but he wished the whole situation was easier, that he could tell about him without worrying that someone would kill him or try to use him. “Even if I wasn't the part of it, I always knew about every robbery, every plan. Everyone wanted to work with me because I’m Dutch’s best gunslinger. But since I started seeing you, I just fell out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shit, he shouldn’t have said that, that didn’t sound good. Panicked, he checked for Arthur’s reaction but the merman didn’t look angry or sad, just concerned. John was so focused on his face he didn’t even notice when Arthur placed his hand on his and squeezed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John let out a shuddering breath and looked at their joined palms, squeezing back. “Don’t get me wrong, I love coming here.” His voice shook a little at the word ‘love’ but he forced himself to continue instead of panicking. Arthur probably didn’t notice anyway. “I’m not even angry for not taking part in that robbery, only that no one told me about it. And I realized that I really neglected my friends. I knew it was happening but I never knew it was this bad. They barely see me anymore, only in the morning and in the evening and I thought it was enough, but we rarely talk like we used to. I just stopped interacting with them one day and they didn’t even know why. They must think I don’t care anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Right now, he was more like Trelawny than a real member of the gang. They didn’t even know where Trelawny was right now, he left them after Blackwater and nobody worried. Just like nobody really worried when John was being away.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel like a bad friend,” he admitted, rubbing at his chin in a nervous manner. “Hell, I am a bad friend. Everyone treats me like some stranger and I deserve that because I treated them like strangers too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know that feeling.” John chuckled weakly. He knew Arthur would understand how it felt to be alienated. He looked at their joined hands again, the merman started rubbing John’s skin with his thumb. He got caught up with that movement for a moment. “You should just spend time with your friends, John.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That would mean less time with you,” he pointed out. He still didn’t like the idea of not coming here that often. “It’s not that I don’t like my friends, I just really like spending time with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur smiled at him reassuringly. “I know, I love our time together too.” John’s heart started beating faster. “But I lived most of my life alone, I can handle a few days,” he said squeezing John’s hand again. “Go back to camp and spend time with your friends, return in a few days.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t asking because he noticed doubt in Arthur’s eyes. In fact, there was none of it there. John was just looking for a reason to not go, because he didn’t want to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure.” John wanted to tug the merman back when he shifted away from him. “Go be with your friends, I’ll be waiting for you in a few days.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John stood up reluctantly, feeling even worse than before he started talking. He really didn’t want to go, and the fact that Arthur was rushing him away hurt. The merman wasn't doing that with an intention to make John feel bad, he was actually being a good friend and John thought that was what he needed. Assurance that it was fine for him to spend time in the camp. Only it turned out it wasn’t it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” he agreed. There was no use in being sad about it. It was probably a good thing to do and he only had troubles with leaving because he was too attached. Taking a few days of break would do them both good. Arthur clearly thought so and he would never do anything to harm their friendship. He cherished it too much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John too, that’s why the goodbye was so hard. He was always a little sad when he was leaving every evening but he knew then that he would be back in a few hours. Now it would days and it was making his heart clench achingly. He would never have left if Arthur didn’t tell him so.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be back in four days,” he promised and smiled but it felt forced.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t wait.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Me too, he thought as he walked to the path and started climbing. Old Boy seemed surprised he returned so early and not even to pick something up from the saddle bags. “I know,” he whispered to his horse and gulped, his throat weirdly tight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The uncomfortable feeling in his stomach got worse as he rode away from the bay. He couldn’t shake off the feeling that he wasn't doing the right thing but forced himself to shut that part of his mind. Yeah, he missed Arthur already, he was in love with him, that was normal, but he needed to repair the relationship with his friends. He and Arthur would be fine for a few days, it wasn't a sudden separation like the last time, they were going to be okay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John hoped that in a few days he would be able to say the same about the gang after they spend them together like in the not so distant past. He really cared about them and didn’t want them to feel like he didn’t. Some days spent with them instead of with Arthur looked like a good idea, even if his heart had a different opinion on that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he returned to the camp, he could say his friends were surprised. Couple of people noticed him right away and looked at him as if he grew the second head. Even usually stoic Charles stared at him with big eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” John greeted him while dismounting. “Going somewhere?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pointed at the saddle on Taima, Charles put a bow on it already and he was now packing something that looked like a lure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hunting.” Charles was still eyeing him with surprise but his answer was eloquent as always.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was the perfect opportunity to reconnect with the first person. John liked Charles very much since the man joined their gang and hunting with him was always a great time. Even though John had only been on a few hunts with him so far, it was always a great time. A good hunt would surely help him forget about missing Arthur.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I join?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn't going to just invite himself. Charles preferred to hunt alone and after how John ignored all of them lately, maybe he wouldn’t want this particular company even more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Somehow, the surprise on Charles' face got even bigger. It was making John want to turn away in shame. He really messed up if even such a question was putting his friend in shock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, why not.” Charles smiled at him warmly and John felt instantly better. Maybe not everything was lost.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He quickly went for his own bow, Charles finished getting ready by then and they could ride off. Like always with the other man, they didn’t talk, Charles only mentioned once when they were going. Apparently there was one place where there was a lot of game to catch so they should get at least two deer for the gang without a problem.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took them a while to reach the spot and upon the arrival, John didn’t notice what was so special about it but Charles assured him they would find some animal soon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been coming here for a while, I was always catching something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, that wasn’t surprising, Charles was the best hunter he’d ever seen, better even than Hosea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They left their horses to not make too much noise and started walking, or tracking, because Charles caught some trail right away. John really hoped that both of them could catch something, it would make Dutch happy and maybe he would stop saying for a while longer that John wasn't contributing anything to the camp if he would return with a deer for Pearson.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Or maybe he could work with one of the guys and rob something or someone like Bill and Javier. That would be even better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both of those options seemed really good in his head but in reality, he didn’t really care. Not about the robbery, not even about the hunting happening right now. He liked hunting, alone or with someone but right now he couldn’t focus on observing Charles and learning from him or looking for another prey himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was wondering what Arthur was doing right now. Was he swimming? Sitting on the beach and drawing again? Maybe he watched John’s drawing. Was he missing him as much as John missed him right now?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was basically Charles' shadow, shuffling behind him, loosely holding his bow in one hand and the arrow in another, not paying attention to anything, not even where he was going because suddenly, he collided with Charles’ back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, Charles,” he said quickly. His friend turned slowly to him, not angry but with worry all over his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen, John, I don’t think it’s working,” he said in a tired voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What ain’t?” he asked. “You can’t track the animal?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not when someone is doing too much noise.” Now Charles looked annoyed for a second and John blushed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, sorry, I’ll be more careful,” he promised. He would just focus more on the task and not at Arthur like always. This was his time with a friend, not time to think about the merman.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it’ll be better if you go back to camp,” Charles told him sadly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John gaped at him, surprised. “Why? I can be quiet on a hunt, you know that, we hunted together before.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you actually wanted to be there then,” Charles pointed out. John blush disappeared when he paled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I want to be here,” he argued. He was refusing to believe that he was messing this up so quickly. He and Charles were supposed to reconnect but the other man was throwing him out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure about that?” John opened his mouth to answer but no matter how much he forced himself, he couldn’t say ‘yes.’ That was all Charles needed to know. “Listen, John, I’m happy that you wanted to join me, I like hunting with you. Unlike other people, you actually listen to me and don’t try to teach me something that is useless knowledge. But this isn’t going to work like that. You’re distracted, I don’t know by what or </span>
  <em>
    <span>who</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” John blushed again when Charles said that last part suggestively. “And I don’t ask you to tell me, that’s your secret but we can’t work like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was it then. He was really useless now. No wonder Javier and Bill didn’t take him robbing, he would probably be distracted like on this hunt and get one of them killed. If not all of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing personal, John,” Charles explained softly. “I like you, you’re one of the few people in this gang that I like spending time with and talking to. But if you don’t want to be with me right now, it’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At least Charles wasn't angry. And he could be when he wanted, John saw it a couple of times, mostly when Micah was annoying Charles or insulting him, so John really didn’t want to be at the end of Charles' anger. And thankfully he wasn't and his friend was very understanding, even if he didn’t know what was keeping John so distracted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I really wanted to spend time with you, Charles,” he admitted, putting the bow on his shoulder. “I like to do it, it’s just…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not right now,” he interrupted John with a smile. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me, I know you didn’t stop spending time with us because you hate us suddenly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go back to camp, John,” Charles urged him, another smile on his face, a mysterious one. “Or wherever you want to be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John nodded, got back to his horse and returned to the camp, just in time to see Bill and Javier talking with Dutch and showing him what they got.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look at that!” Dutch shouted, excited. “And you did it with just one score! I'm so proud of you, boys!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John decided to ignore the pang of pain when he heard such enthusiastic praise from Dutch that wasn’t aimed at him. It was him once but he brought that lack of love from Dutch on himself. If he worked instead of visiting Arthur, everything would’ve been just the same. If he didn’t meet the merman at all, he would’ve been standing with Javier and Bill right now, getting praised for a good robbery.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But the thought of never meeting Arthur that day hurt more than not being Dutch’s favorite and so he quickly forgot about that pain. He got enough praise through the years anyway, it was time to get used to taking the back seat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Since hunting with Charles didn’t work, he had to find another thing to do. He noticed that Tilly was sitting by the table and looking at herself in the mirror. She didn’t look that busy so John decided to approach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Care to play some dominoes?” he asked, sitting opposite of her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tilly put down the mirror and for a moment she looked surprised just like Charles but then she grinned excitedly at him. “Sure do!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She picked the box of tiles from under the crate she was sitting one and scattered them around the table while John set up two racks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was good, dominoes didn’t require as much attention as hunting and the beginning was quite fun. Tilly told him about her recent visit to town while they played slowly, just enjoying the game and the conversation like any other time they were playing in the past.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He lost the first round and Tilly mocked him for it, which made him smile and feel a little lighter in the chest. They went for another round, Tilly stopped talking then and John had nothing to say since all his days were spent with Arthur and he couldn’t share that. Tilly would probably love listening about the ocean and wonders in it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without anything to distract him, because dominoes wasn't doing it, his thought wandered to the merman again and before he knew it, he lost a seconds round, then the third and the whole game. He told Tilly he wanted a rematch so they started but he gave up during the first round after the woman told him he couldn’t put that tile there for the third time in a few minutes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I'm distracted,” he justified his weird behavior. Distracted. That wasn't covering even half of how he was feeling right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He really missed Arthur. Usually they would’ve been eating something together, the merman would go to hunt for them or they would start eating cans and other food John brought for them. Today’s snacks were still in his saddle bags, he chose something really good this time, a chocolate bar! He was sure Arthur was going to like it but that would have to wait four days.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine, you played well,” she assured him and giggled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John rolled her eyes at her. “Thanks for putting up with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Always!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walked away and got to his tent. Maybe reading a book would help. He picked one from his little collection and opened it where he last finished when he was still lying in bed after getting shot. He barely remembered what was happening but after reading some pages he would surely remember the plot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He would, if he could even remember what he read a sentence before. He tossed the book back from where he took it when he realized he barely read two pages in an hour. Just as if he was twelve again and only just started learning. Even Arthur would probably read faster than him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So he left the tent again and looked for something else to do. When he spotted Abigail sewing a button to a shirt with a clearly bored Jack sitting next to her, he decided to help them both.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Jack, wanna play with me a little?” he asked, kneeling in front of the boy to be on his eye level. “Give your momma some break.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That would be amazing, John,” Abigail admitted and smiled at him, grateful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are we going to play together?” Jack asked, excited as he hopped to his feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John had no idea, he never had a childhood, what were kids playing those days? “I don’t know. How do you like to play?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s play knights!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” he agreed hesitantly, starting to regret his choice. He had no idea how to take care of a child, not to mention how to play with one. He always felt awkward interacting with Jack but maybe that was what he needed to stop thinking about Arthur.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The merman would surely know how to entertain a child. He most likely didn’t have any experience with them either but he was friendly enough and he was a merman, that alone would make Jack interested and start asking hundred of questions. And Arthur could show him the ocean, play with him in the water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you smiling, uncle John?” Jack asked him suddenly. They walked a little from the living part of the camp and from horses to not to disturbed them but still stayed in the vicinity of the camp guards’ paths. John could see Lenny leaning against the tree nearby, keeping a watch, so he and Jack didn’t have to worry about someone sneaking onto them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No reason,” he replied and smiled at the boy, noticing he was holding two sticks. “What do you have there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Swords!” Jack shoved one stick at him. “We’re knights and we have to fight!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Over what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Over a princess!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And who is the princess?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack thought about that for a moment. “Momma!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John laughed. Jack could be really sweet sometimes. He was spending so little time with the boy he wasn't even aware of that. “Alright, lets fight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Out of every distraction he tried, playing with Jack got to be the best. Trying not to get hit by a very excited four years old that wasn't aware how hard he could hit, especially after hitting a shin, really helped clean John’s mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But as fun as it was, it was also boring after a while. John wasn’t a child, he didn’t particularly enjoy playing with sticks, at least not for long so when he declared defeat to stop the play, Jack was happy only for a moment because of his win but then got disappointed. He wanted to drag John to play something else, he talked enthusiastically about his wooden soldiers, animals and even glass marbles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John let him down gently and promised to play another time, cringing shortly after Jack returned to his mother to tell her how he defeated another knight. He shouldn’t have promised that when he wasn't sure if he would be able to keep that promise. Because staying away from Arthur for four days seemed like an impossible task already, he couldn’t imagine doing it again in the future.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was still early and it was just the day one, and John was already getting tired of this. Even if spending time with others was fun at the beginning, he was quickly getting uninterested, not enjoying himself at all and showing it. It was even worse than not spending the time with his friends at all because now he was doing that and didn’t even appreciate that. He wasn't even able to pretend for the sake of others.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked in the direction the bay was and sighed tiredly, the longing pulling at his heart as if dozens of horses were tied to it and tried to run.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>More like a bunch of dolphins, he thought. That was fitting better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Early hour didn’t stop Sadie from opening a bottle of whisky she enjoyed at the edge of the camp, by the smaller fire. She was alone so John decided to join her. She wasn't expecting him but then she smirked and said she didn’t mind his company.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They shared the whisky and Sadie quickly changed her mind about what she said earlier when after a couple of sips John only got more miserable. She took her whisky then and left him sighing sadly at nothing while the alcohol buzzed in his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had no idea how long he sat there but after some time, he pulled his gun to clean it. He tried not to get it wet in sea water but apparently the air alone was enough to make it a little rusty. An outlaw always needs to have their gun clean and since he didn’t have anything better to do, he started doing that while his thoughts wandered around Arthur.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was only day one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At some point Lenny sat across from him, still with a rifle on his shoulder so he was freshly changed from guard duty. “Howdy, John.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” John replied unenthusiastically, which didn’t escape Lenny’s attention who looked closely at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything okay? You seem down,” he asked. He didn’t look very worried, he was even smiling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John didn’t answer. He wasn't okay, he was feeling terrible, just like the last time or even worse because then he at least had an excuse. No matter how much he wanted to go see Arthur, he knew he couldn’t because of the wound. Now he could but he was staying away on purpose to reconnect with friends which wasn't even working, because just like the last time, he was sulking again and was unpleasant to be around, no matter how much he tried to be different.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was stupid idea. He thought he was being a bad friend not spending the time with the others but he was being even worse by forcing himself to do that, hurting both himself and them. He didn’t want to be here, his heart was yearning to be somewhere else and no matter how guilty he was feeling because of that, he couldn’t stop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur was the one he wanted to spend his time with. He loved him so much he couldn’t imagine a day without him, nothing was bringing him joy as it used to, only the merman could do that now. And yet John put himself into this willingly. He wondered if Arthur was feeling the same right now, regretting sending him away. John liked to think that he was.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it about Arthur?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every amount of alcohol or numbness that was filling his body was yanked out of him in an instant with that one question. He sat straighter and looked with wide eyes at Lenny who smiled innocently at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you know about Arthur?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John should probably act like he didn’t know what Lenny was talking about but there was no use. Not when the kid had seen his first reaction that John couldn’t stop from happening even if he wanted to. He was too scared to control his fear, his heart was pounding in his chest and he felt like someone just tied a rope around his lungs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How did Lenny know? Did he follow John one day? He was always so careful about being followed but maybe he messed up one day when he was more happy than usual while on his way to Arthur.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t really matter how Lenny found out, what mattered was what he was going to do with that knowledge. Lenny was a good kid, they didn’t know each other even for a year yet but John liked him. But that also meant that maybe he still didn’t know everything about the boy. What if he was going to try to hurt Arthur? Or trap him?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Or kill him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What if he already did that?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The dread settled in the bottom of John’s stomach and he gulped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No, he couldn’t think like that. Lenny wasn't some monster, even if he found out about Arthur, he wouldn’t murder him just after seeing him. The merman would have to attack and John knew Arthur wouldn’t do that but rather run.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John managed to stay calm, at least for now, even while he was being pulled towards the bay even more now, desperate to see if Arthur was okay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You mentioned him a couple of times,” Lenny replied, amused by his reaction. John narrowed his eyes at him. He was pretty sure he never mentioned Arthur in the conversation. When? Apart from the time he spent in bed, he rarely talked to anybody these days, when he had a chance to mention Arthur? And how could he’d been so reckless? “When you got shot,” the kid clarified. It made sense now, no wonder he didn’t remember. “And later when you were lying in bed with fever. You actually told me to find him and tell him what happened.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did?” Lenny nodded. John still wasn't feeling calm. If Lenny heard it, some other gang member could as well. But at least he was sure that Lenny didn’t know where Arthur was or what he was. He probably wouldn’t have been so calm right now if he knew.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who’s Arthur?” John could swore he heard that question before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could lie. Say that he didn’t know and Lenny would probably drop the subject, even if he wouldn’t believe. But John was so tired of not having anyone to speak to about the merman, even vaguely and without mentioning what he was. And his gut was telling him he could trust Lenny.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s-” he hesitated for a moment but Lenny didn’t rush him. “It’s a friend I met after we got here. When I left the same day we started setting up the camp.” The kid nodded, encouraging him to continue. “He helped me deal with Dutch being angry at me and we spend a lot of time together talking, drawing, I even teach him how to read and write.” He felt that he could mention that. A lot of people were uneducated so Lenny wouldn’t think it was strange. In fact, he smiled warmly at John. What else could he tell? “He’s a really great friend. The kind I’ve never had before,” he admitted, watching Lenny unsure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Best friend,” the kid finished for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>God, it felt so good to say it finally. He wasn't even telling much but he was saying something, finally, after weeks of knowing the merman someone else knew and it was such a freeing feeling not having to lie completely anymore. There was still a lot he was hiding and he would gladly speak more about Arthur, how amazing he was, how talented and beautiful. He would talk Lenny’s ears off if he could and wasn't scared to do so. Not only because of Arthur being a merman, but also because he was a man John was in love with.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should have told us, you know,” Lenny pointed out, a little amused. “That you met someone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It sounds like I’ve met a woman,” he noticed, blushing right after.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lenny chuckled. “That’s actually what we thought happened,” he revealed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John suspected it. “You did?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“With the way you were acting?” The kind snorted. “You literally look like a love sick fool every day, of course everyone thought you met a woman.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John’s blush deepened. He didn’t know he was this obvious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you knew it was a man,” John noticed carefully. “At least since the robbery.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I realized then it’s just a friend, that was explaining your behavior as well. But I never told anybody I knew. Didn’t want to ruin everybody’s fun. They like to joke about your mysterious mistress while a little drunk. And Tilly and Mary-Beth think it’s very romantic that you’re so in love.” Lenny’s voice was a little mocking when he said that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John chuckled nervously, blushing harder and harder. If his friend only knew there was no mistress and even if there was, it would be no woman.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are they joking about?” He could probably guess every joke imaginable but since Lenny was here, happy to provide him with information, why not to ask?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just the usual,” he answered with a grin, a sign that he was enjoying those jokes too but because of the different reason. “That she’s a working girl and you’re paying her, that you’re submissive to her and that’s why you’re never here. Or how she probably likes you just for your dick, because your scars don’t look appealing at all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John huffed. Arthur liked his scars just fine, god knows why. And maybe he would like the other part of his body as well in the future.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Knowing that his friends were still completely clueless was reassuring. A lot. He relaxed and felt less scared, even under Lenny’s gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t tell any of you about Arthur because I didn’t want you to bother him,” he explained his behavior. At least he wasn't lying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think we would want to go to meet him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John shrugged. “I don’t know, didn’t want to risk it,” he admitted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does he know who you are?” Lenny asked, worried, really worried, for the first time since the conversation started.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but he doesn’t want to get caught up in it.” He hoped that was enough to fill Lenny’s curiosity and keep him away from wanting to meet Arthur. “The more of you he would now, the more danger he would be in and I don’t want him to get hurt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it’s probably for the best,” Lenny agreed sadly. “Some boys may not like him anyway, or find him suspicious.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can say Micah, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lenny laughed. “Yeah, Micah would be the first.” The kid waited till his laugh calmed down completely. “So I guess it would be better if I hold it a secret a little longer?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you can, yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s no problem, John,” Lenny promised him genuinely. “I’ll keep your secret.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, that really means a lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can tell you really like this Arthur fella.” John decided to not say anything, in fear it would be too obvious. So far Lenny was taking his feelings as a deep friendship but John wasn’t sure where was the line upon crossing which the kid would think about all of it as romantic love. “That’s why it surprises me that you’re here. We all got used to you being gone all day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I feel bad about it, that’s why I’m here.” John bowed his head and played with his gun nervously. He forgot about it. “I felt like I abandoned you all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Abandoned?” Lenny repeated, surprised. Then he laughed again. “None of us feel like you abandoned us.” It was John’s turn to be surprised. “Sure, at the beginning, but ever since Tilly started suspecting you have a mistress and told us about it, everyone is okay with you being gone. Well, except Micah, but nobody cares about what he thinks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lenny rolled his eyes. “It’s Micah after all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, what you said earlier,” John clarified, still in shock. “You really don’t mind?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The kid smiled at him reassuringly. “Really. Sure, it hurts a little that we don’t spend time together like before, but we understand. Love does that to you, you just want to be with that one person all the time.” John didn’t ask how he knew that. He was probably repeating Mary-Beth and her romance novels. “Obviously it’s not this kind of love.” Oh, how wrong you are, Lenny. “But new friendship is exciting, so I understand why you want to spend all your time with Arthur.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John couldn’t believe it. He worried for nothing and all he should’ve done was talk honestly with one of his friends. Charles practically told him the same, only less openly. He probably didn’t want to scare John mentioning the mistress in front of him since it was supposed to be a secret. Very badly hidden one, but still a secret. Maybe Sadie and Tilly would’ve said the same to him if he actually talked to them instead of just using them to distract himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Lenny was the best person to talk to. He knew about Arthur and it made everything easier to explain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s actually good to know,” John admitted and laughed, not being able to contain his relief. Maybe he needed the assurance after all. Just from a different person.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See? Nothing to worry about.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” He felt so much better now. No twisting in his stomach, no heavy feeling on his chest… No, that one was still there, because he was still longing. He could go to Arthur without feeling guilty! It was pretty late now, but if he hurry, he would get to the bay in time to still eat something with the merman and talk. He could even come back to camp a little later than normally to spend more time with him. He was sure Arthur would like that. “I promise it will pass at some point and then we will spend time together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure we will,” Lenny chuckled. “Now go to your friend. I won’t tell the others about Arthur but I will tell them we talked about you leaving, okay? Everyone, and I mean everyone, even Dutch and Hosea, are sure you have a mistress, but they’re still worried a little about you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure.” John saw no problem with that. It would help him actually. He wouldn’t want to worry his friend. “Sure, tell them not to worry. That I’m fine and…,” he paused, hesitant if he could say more. “And happy,” he finished with a wide grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s finally visible,” Lenny joked. “I was watching you from my gourd duty, you know? You looked so miserable, it was so strange after you’ve been leaving and coming back with a big grin on your face. Now you look like you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was too happy to care how dumb he was probably looking to Lenny. Hurriedly, he holstered his weapon, walked around the fire and picked up the kid to hug him. Lenny laughed cheerfully and patted his back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Lenny.” He would never be able to express how much this talk meant to him. Lenny was a great friend, he should’ve never doubted him. And maybe one day he would be able to tell him the truth about Arthur. Both truths. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lenny grinned at him teasingly. “What? No kiss on the cheeks like with Grimshaw?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John grinned back and dived down to kiss both of Lenny’s cheeks, surprising him. “Hey, I was joking!” Lenny yelled and laughed. It probably brought some attention to them but once again, John didn’t care. Not when he was going to see Arthur soon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really, kid, thank you,” John said one more time and walked away quickly, turning his head back to look at his friend one more time. “I owe you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t owe me anything!” Lenny shouted back, shaking his head at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No wonder everyone suspected he was having a mistress. He really was acting like a lovesick fool and wasn't even trying to hide it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, let them think.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The others didn’t hide that they were watching him saddling Old Boy, some smirking at how ridiculous he was acting, others whispering between each other, and some just genuinely happy that he wasn’t moping anymore and was back to being himself – a helplessly in love idiot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as he was mounting up, Charles arrived from his hunt, a deer and two rabbits tied to his horse. Seeing John going somewhere, he instantly smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Charles,” John greeted him, grinning dumbly at his friend. “Sorry, but I'm in a hurry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can see that,” Charles replied, amused, watching John gallop away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good catch!” John shouted before he was too far away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His friends were going to have a lot to joke about around the fire tonight, he thought to himself as he hurried to the bay, trying to outrun the setting sun. Old Boy did good, it was still above the horizon when John arrived. He quickly took off the saddle but didn’t even bother to hide it. Nobody was walking through here anyway.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He hated that he had to slow down while on the path but he didn’t want to kill himself. So he walked slowly and steadily, but brushed away the branches quickly and searched the bay to find Arthur.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There. Lying on the rock belt, stretched on it on his back was Arthur. The hat rested on his face covering his eyes from the glow of the setting sun that was casting a soft orange light on his whole body, making his tanned skin look amazing and causing the tail to sparkle. John felt his breath stop at the sight and the grin he was wearing since Lenny told him it was fine to go, grew even bigger now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was just a few hours but seeing Arthur now felt like a gulp of fresh air. Taking a deep breath, John took another step down, quiet to surprise the merman. Of course it didn’t work anymore when he stepped into the water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur picked up the sound over the rush of waves and lifted the hat from his eyes. When he noticed John, there was shock on his face at first, but he didn’t ask what John was doing here, why he came back. He didn’t tell him to be with his friend like earlier. The shock passed then and relief appeared, and with it, a wide, happy grin that made John’s heart soar. “You’re back,” the merman breathed in awe.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he didn’t want to be anywhere else.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The next two chapters will be big, guys, and I'm not talking about the word count 👀</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Innocent Touch</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>After the talk with Lenny, John felt much less guilty about leaving the next day. But just to not be a bad friend, he still spent time in the morning with them, even more than before. Arthur thought it was a good idea when John suggested that. The merman would still get the majority of John’s time and since no one had any problem with that, why should he?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He really needed that talk with Lenny. Knowing that his friends didn’t blame him for being away most of the time lifted a huge weight off his shoulder. Sitting with everyone now was less awkward and he even enjoyed himself, which he thought was impossible nowadays but it turned out he just needed the right mentality. He still preferred spending time with Arthur and couldn’t wait to meet him today, but he didn’t feel forced to spend time with his friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He ate with them that morning, asking Javier and Bill about the robbery since he didn’t have an opportunity to do so yesterday when he was moping all day. Both outlaws were slightly surprised by his interest but they quickly proceeded to brag about their success, Bill more so than Javier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not being able to stay quiet for too long and without everyone’s attention on himself, Sean soon interrupted both men and talked about his day in town. John used that opportunity to ask about the leg, since he didn’t for a while now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s almost good as new, Scar Face,” Sean assured him and patted himself on the knee, whimpering in pain instantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think it still needs some rest,” John noticed with a chuckle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sean waved his hand dismissively while still holding his knee with the other. “I’ll be fine,” he assured again. “Tough Irish blood goes through my veins.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is the bone tough too?” Sadie asked, listening to him amused. “Because that’s what got fucked up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you worry about my bones, woman, Irish are tough like golems. Or…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cockroaches,” Micha suggested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sean scowled at him, the only scowl among smiley faces.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Har har,” Sean mocked him, making Micah snicker. “I appreciate your worry, but I'm fine. I bet I could’ve helped Bill and Javier with their robbery yesterday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” the latter agreed. “We would’ve used you to stop the stagecoach instead of the log that Bill barely dragged onto the road.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It would’ve been easier if you helped me,” Bill pointed out, crossing his arms on the chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You got it handled,” Javier responded with a sly grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is there any robbery planned soon?” Sean asked eagerly and pulled his revolver, waving it around. “I miss some good action, it’s so boring in the camp.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think it will be better if you wait a little longer, Sean,” John suggested. “Once you can run you can join us on robberies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But Swanson said I will never run again,” Sean complained, dropping the gun in his lap. “And someone needs to rob to get money. We still need those, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No one would have to do it if the Golden Boy would do his job.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone got silent and looked at Micah who said those words. He didn’t mind others looking at him, some even with irritation. Maybe he didn’t even notice the staring because he was looking right at John.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s your problem, Micah?” he asked the other man, already tensing and getting ready for confrontation. He hated how relaxed Micah still was. That bastard was probably going to back off from the fight the moment it would start.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just pointing out the obvious, Marston,” Micah explained himself. His posture was relaxed but his eyes were saying it all. He was indignant. Lenny did warn John that Micah was the only one having problems with John’s escapades. “It’s been a long time since you put your name in the book.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not that long,” John corrected him. “If you want you can put a quarter in the box every day to have your name scribbled on the whole page. When I bring money, I bring good money. What I do in my free time is none of your business.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seems like whole days are your free time lately, ain’t it?” Micha challenged him, hoping to rile him up. John wasn’t going to let that bastard provoke him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But before John could reply, Charles interrupted him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you have something better to do, Micah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Charles asked that question calmly, not looking for a fight, far from it, hoping to end it. It was hard to tell what riled up Micah more, that or just the fact that it was Charles who spoke to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ain’t nobody asked for your opinion, you mixed shit,” he snapped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Javier reacted immediately, he shoved Micah with the elbow to shut him up. The blond man looked at him sharply, ready to fight him too while Charles' eyes darkened visibly and his whole body tensed. Lenny tried to calm him down with a touch to the shoulder but it wasn’t working great.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was contemplating whether he should punch Micah in his stupid, racist face or try to stop Charles from splitting Micah’s head in half with a tomahawk when Hosea appeared out of nowhere, stopping right behind Micah.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone’s eyes landed on Dutch’s second hand, it was enough of a distraction to prevent the spill of blood that Charles was ready to commit. He didn’t look anymore like he was going to jump at Micah at any moment. Micah who seemed completely obvious how his words affected the Indian.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Enough of this,” Hosea said, his voice full of authority. Even Micah, though he didn’t like it, had to submit to a man who was higher in hierarchy. He even turned his gaze away when Hosea started only at him. “You belong to one gang, stop making enemies among others, Micah and stick to your own money. If you’re so offended that no one contributes enough, you’re welcome to take care of it yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah snapped his head back to Hosea, offended.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do I have to work while Marston is lazing around, going on trips?” he asked, pointing at John with his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John worked his ass off for this gang for years,” Hosea asked calmly, not bothered by Micah’s anger, which was only making the blond man even angrier. John grinned. It was good to see someone scolding that prick instead of being on his side like Dutch. “You’ll be fine doing the one percent of what he did all those times. Or are you too high and mighty to get your hands dirty?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Being made fun of publicly wasn’t pleasant, especially for someone like Micah who liked to be respected and feared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, Hosea,” he answered timidly but also a little sarcastically. “I’ll be happy to bring Dutch money.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good. Now go and stop fighting with the others. Go to the saloon if you need a fight so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grumbling, Micah stood up and walked away. Suddenly the air around got lighter and everyone seemed more relaxed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Hosea,” John said, speaking for everyone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hosea nodded at him. “I didn’t exclude you from getting money,” he added quickly. “You still need to contribute like everyone else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” That wouldn’t be the problem. Arthur surely had something more for him to bring to the camp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hosea walked away, getting back to whatever he was doing before he was forced to intervene.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?” John asked Charles immediately.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Always,” he assured but his voice lacked the usual calmness. He was still affected by Micah’s words. “But I can’t promise Micah will be by the end of the day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, If I see you murdering him with that fancy tomahawk of yours, I’ll tell I haven’t seen shit,” Sean promised him with a big grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need help digging up a hole big enough to hide the body?” Sadie asked, showing her support as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We could throw it into the ocean,” Lenny suggested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John suggested. “Nah, why feed the sharks and fishes with shit?” He didn’t want Arthur to get the sniff of the body either. The merman deserved to eat a good human corpse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Charles said with a small smile when everybody was done with joking. That was all he said, nothing else was needed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anytime, amigo.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bill was the only one who didn’t say anything, he could be offensive too at times but unlike Micah, he knew when to shut his mouth. And he seemed to respect Charles at least a little bit despite hating Indians.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without Micah to ruin the mood, the rest of the breakfast passed in a much lighter and friendlier atmosphere. Nobody asked John what happened yesterday, why he was brooding one minute and then grinning like a maniac the second but his friends were clearly glad he was back to normal. Even if that meant he would leave them for a whole day again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that didn’t come until almost noon. He spent the whole morning in the camp, working a little and talking with people. When it wasn’t forced, it was much more pleasant. But he still wanted to see Arthur, badly. So when the sun was almost at the highest point, John prepared his horse and rode off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have fun!” Lenny shouted after him with a knowing smile when he was passing the kid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will!” John answered and with his own grin, he sped towards the bay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t spend nearly enough time with the merman yesterday and he was starving for some interaction. Not that yesterday’s was bad, they hugged, ate dinner together and talked about what they were doing the whole day. It turned out that Arthur couldn’t find himself an entertainment either, and he tried a lot. Playing with Boadicea, simple swimming, drawing. He also practiced reading but just like John, he couldn’t focus on it and just gave up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur admitted that he eventually just laid down on the bottom of his bay and watched the ray of sun falling through the mirror of the surface. Shortly before John’s arrival, he switched to the rocks and that’s how John found him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was flattering to John that Arthur missed him just the same. His heart almost broke his sternum when the merman told him about it. And it was reassuring, because it didn’t feel so crazy to be this attached. And it was hopeful too. Because that could mean that Arthur felt the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was really considering confessing to him today. Yesterday was probably a better moment for this, he even thought of it, telling Arthur that he loved him when they hugged but he decided eventually to not do it and just melted into the hug, happy that he didn’t have to wait for days for it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he would do it today. Maybe even wait for the sunset to make it a bit romantic. Maybe he would get lucky and wouldn't regret his decision later. He wouldn’t be able to look at the sunsets anymore. He would have to move underground and live in the mines for the rest of his life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He arrived just before noon. With a smile he entered the bay to see Arthur swimming in the deeper water. Like always, John stopped to watch him, even though the merman wasn’t always on the surface and dived a lot and unfortunately wasn't jumping out like that one time. It was a little disappointing but still fun to watch him so carefree and happy.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because it was clearly a happy kind of swim. John could tell because just like humans could get a spring in their step while they were happy(like he right now, not carrying that he should be careful walking like that close to the edge), merpeople could apparently get the equivalent of that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur was smiling, so that was the obvious evidence of his good mood, but there was something in the way he swam. He was just so energetic, that’s why it was even more surprising he wasn’t jumping out of the water. Instead he just swam fast, taking sharp turns. Then he would dive and slap the surface with his tail, probably twirling underwater and doing other things he did with John at his back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John almost didn’t want to interrupt him this fun but the merman noticed him on his own. The smile that he sent John then could light up the whole city of New York. It was so bright. John had no other choice but to return it while his stomach flipped excitedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, John.” Arthur swam closer to the rock belt and waited for John to join him after taking off his boots. “How are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Never have been better,” he admitted. He wasn't exaggerating, he didn’t remember ever being this happy. He had many happy memories with the gang but Arthur was bringing a new kind of happiness out of him. The kind that was making his whole body lighter and his head dizzy from the rush of blood his heart was pumping in galloping pace. “You?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Same.” And Arthur definitely wasn't exaggerating. Knowing his past, it probably wasn’t very hard to make better memories than those of his lonely life before meeting John. “I was thinking that we could swim in the ocean again,” the merman suggested, already excited at the prospect. “What do you say?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John looked towards the ocean. The last time they went swimming the surface was calm, with very few bumps on it. Today it was a different story. The wind was stronger, almost howling as it was coming from the ocean, making the waves much bigger than John was comfortable with. Even if they were smaller on the open ocean, he wasn't sure he wanted to swim against them, even on Arthur’s back. He feared that the water would constantly hit him in the face. Diving when he was prepared for it was fine, but he wasn’t very fond of getting his mouth, eyes and nose full of water unexpectedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” he admitted his worries to the merman. “The waves are pretty big.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even when he was looking far away, he could see the white foam forming on top of the waves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur turned back and looked at the ocean as well. “The ocean is calm,” he noticed, confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm sure it is for you,” John answered with a chuckle. “But I would really rather not enter the ocean today. Maybe some other time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They couldn’t swim together now but there was no way John wouldn’t want that any other day when the ocean was calmer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In the bay then?” Arthur wasn’t giving up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t swim,” John reminded him. “There is nothing to show me underwater so you would have to hold me all the time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That wouldn’t be so bad.” And there it was. Another clue suggesting that Arthur could feel something for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John blushed and smiled shyly. “No it wouldn’t,” he admitted. “But I wouldn’t want to ruin your fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You never do that,” Arthur noticed, making John blush even more. “But if that’s what you want. Mind if I swim some more? I don’t know why but I can’t stay still today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John couldn’t see but the merman’s tail was probably moving a lot under water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go on,” John encouraged him. “I’ll watch you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re taking care of me so good, John,” the merman mocked, pushing himself from the rocks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” John laughed, watching him swim from the bay and through the small gap between the rocks, into the open ocean.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John turned around and walked to the beach to leave his things there before returning to the rocks and sitting on them in the middle of the belt. He could see Arthur having fun in the distance. Sometimes he couldn’t even see him because the waves were big enough to cover him when he was behind them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now the merman started jumping, looking from the shore like a sea lion or a dolphin. Something joined him after a while, John couldn’t tell what it was and he regretted a little that he couldn’t be with the merman right now, or at least be closer to watch him and whatever animal was playing with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sometimes the differences between them were hard. No matter what, they couldn’t follow each other. Not into the ocean, not onto land. Even if John could swim, he would still be tied to the land, not being able to swim as far or as deep as Arthur. And the merman couldn’t join him on land, he needed to be close to the water always, otherwise he would get sick.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not to mention John was an outlaw, he didn’t live in one place. If he was right and Arthur loved him too, their relationship would have its share of hardship from the start. They were two different species. While John didn’t mind that and Arthur was theoretically partially human, they were still different anatomically, who knows if they were compatible physically? They would still have other kind of intimacy, Arthur didn’t even have to be a sexual creature but John wasn’t going to lie that the lack of sexual attraction wouldn’t bother him, even if just a little bit. It wouldn’t keep him away but it wasn't something he was ready for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And what about living together? Obviously John would have to make that sacrifice and leave the gang to be with Arthur. If the merman could, he would most likely gladly leave the ocean to travel with John and his gang. But he couldn’t so it would have to be John.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But they couldn’t live in the bay. It was getting flooded regularly and building a house up the cliff was out of question. What kind of relationship would they have if they would have to sleep separately? Loveless?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Living on some tropical island where it’s always warm and John could always stay close to Arthur would be perfect. Preferably an island that had no other humans that could discover the merman and had a source of freshwater, because he wasn't worried about food, Arthur would catch fish for them both and there would probably be some fruit growing there as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John shook his head and smiled sadly. What he was even thinking about? Getting to an island required a boat and there was no telling there was even an island that would suit their needs. It was just a wishful dream that would never happen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They would have to make it work out here, that is if Arthur even felt the same way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Or there was another way to be together. A dangerous and risky way that could end in John’s death if they weren’t careful. He didn’t even want to think about that one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He would worry all about that later, after he would tell Arthur how he felt. Right now there was no point to ruin a perfectly good day. So instead of worrying about the future and what it would bring, he focused on Arthur. The merman was still jumping out of the water and it looked like the whole pod of dolphins joined him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled and wrapped his arms around his knees. Resting his chin on them he watched, feeling at peace. No matter what would happen, he and Arthur would make it work. They cared about each other too much to let it go to waste, whether friendship or something more.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur returned not even half an hour later after he went to swim, climbing the rock next to John.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What you thinking about?” he asked curiously, slicking back his hair. It was getting really long, a few more weeks and they would be as long as John’s.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You,” John answered boldly and smirked when a dumbfounded expression appeared on Arthur’s face, along with the lovely, red blush.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur tried to say something, probably something witty but in the end, he just huffed defeated and looked away, making John laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, grumpy.” John patted him on the arm before turning and jumping down. “Let’s sit on the sand, these rocks are digging into my ass. Not everyone has an armor of scales on theirs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not an armor,” Arthur grumped, following him with a splash when the heavy tail slid into the water. They reached the beach and sat on the edge of the water. “You had fun with friends before coming here?” the merman asked once they got comfortable, his tail draped over John’s feet like always. It was always hard to figure out if it meant anything. John couldn’t recall any situation in which humans would touch their feet together, except in their bedroom, in bed, tangled in a loving embrace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe it was a merpeople’s thing? But what did it mean then? Clearly it was a sign of affection but could it be something more and Arthur was doing it because John would have no idea it meant interest?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was so fixated on it he almost forgot the merman asked him a question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, we talked a lot during breakfast,” he replied with a smile. He decided not to mention Micah, he didn’t want that idiot to ruin his mood again. Or Arthur’s for that matter. “It was much better than yesterday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He mentioned to Arthur what a failure yesterday was. So he felt the need to point out the difference today.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That talk with Lenny really helped, huh?” Arthur asked, smiling softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have no idea.” Even the day after, thinking about it was still bringing in a new wave or relief. “I feel better leaving now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lenny seems like a good kid, wish I could meet him,” the merman admitted sadly. “Especially since he knows me. To some extent.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too,” John agreed and sighed. If there could be a way to gently check how his friends would feel about the existence of merpeople, John would do anything to make Arthur meeting the rest of the gang possible. “I feel like Lenny is one of the people that wouldn’t shot you on the spot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That’s why he was thinking about considering bringing him to the bay one day. But not before making him promise to not freak out and give all of his weapons first. He trusted Lenny but he didn’t trust Lenny in panic and that could happen after seeing Arthur, especially his sharp teeth. John almost shot him then himself, despite having a calm conversation a minute earlier. When the fear takes control, there is no time for rational thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think he would like me?” Arthur asked, hopeful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure he would.” John had no doubt about that. Arthur was easy to love. He would be actually worried that others would fall in love with the merman too. “You’re funny and smart, Lenny is that himself, he would have fun talking to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about the others?” Arthur moved a little from him to lay down on his belly. His tail was still in the water, brushing gently against John's feet, never losing contact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Charles would like how easy it is to talk to you,” John pointed out after a while. “Sean would probably annoy you a lot. I’m not sure about Sadie, she’s still a mystery to me. And don’t be scared, but the girls would probably fawn about your beauty.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think I'm beautiful?” was the only thing Arthur picked up from that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John flushed, no doubt deep red. To avoid looking at Arthur and his wolfish grin, he looked away towards the fishes swimming in the bay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Objectively speaking, you’re pretty handsome fella,” John clarified eventually, feeling like his brain was frying inside his head. God, he wanted to jump into the water and never get out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Objectively,” Arthur repeated with a chuckle, very happy with himself for some reason. “What about that cook?” he changed the subject. John breathed out in relief. Saved. Maybe he should have told Arthur just then but he wasn't ready yet. He needed a speech first. “Preston?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pearson,” John corrected him with a smile. The blush was hopefully dying down already so he felt safe enough to look at the merman again. “I bet he would like to talk to you about his days at the sea. He would speak about what he saw, which is probably a bunch of horse shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur frowned. “What could he’d seen?” he asked, confused. “What’s amazing in the ocean is all under the surface, not above it. All he probably saw was dolphins and maybe a whale if he was lucky.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He told me once he saw the kraken.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kraken?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a big squid monster that attacks ships,” John explained and rolled his eyes. “Apparently, it attacked Pearson’s ship once.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, I believe he could’ve seen kraken or whatever it’s called, they’re really, I told you about them already but they don’t attack ships.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I knew it was horse shit.” Too bad he couldn’t say it to Pearson’s face, backing himself up with Arthur's knowledge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My grandmother told me about some tales about sea monsters,” Arthur said. “You people believe in the weirdest crap.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled at his friend. “Well, a big ocean like that, who knows how deep, works on your imagination. And people in the past couldn’t explain many things so they explained it with magic and monsters. Even today people believe in a lot of things because not everyone is educated. Hell, I’ve never been in school in my life and I don’t understand everything in the world.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me neither, we don’t have schools underwater.” Arthur stretched then and John couldn’t help but watch how his back and arms muscles moved with that movement. He swore he could hear some popping too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Getting old?” he teased the merman, who grinned back at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Watch your mouth, boy, I could snap you in half if I wanted.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yes, please, John almost begged, his body shivering when Arthur’s gravely voice in that dangerous tone washed over it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur stretched again, but this time for a different reason. He grabbed John’s gun belt and dragged it to himself, watching it over curiously. John kept an eye on him to make sure the merman wouldn’t shoot himself accidently. He wasn’t touching the gun, he was actually avoiding it, focusing more on the knife and bullets but not much is needed for the gun to shoot unexpectedly. John was pretty sure the hammer wasn’t pulled, he never walked around with it like that but he still got paranoid and checked, just to be sure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was in the right position.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?” he asked finally when Arthur didn’t say anything for a long time, just kept watching.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How does it work?” the merman asked with his own question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? The revolver?” Arthur nodded. John took the gun from him and unholstered it, showing every piece of his old but trusty Cattleman. “Well, you put bullets inside the chamber, mine have six of those chambers. You pull the hammer, then press the trigger to shoot. The bullet with the gunpowder inside is hit and that causes the powder to ignite. It pushes the bullet out of the barrel. Then you need to pull back the hammer again, it turns the cylinder with chambers and allows you to shoot again till you’re out. But that’s single-action revolvers, a double-action revolver cocks the hammer and spins the cylinder after shots. That’s it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John wasn't even aware how much information he shared at once, only when he looked at Arthur he noticed the merman was a little lost. “Sorry,” he said sheepishly. “I just really like revolvers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t know why, it’s a gun,” Arthur pointed out. “It can kill.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re right but it doesn’t have to. I don’t kill when it’s not necessary. There is nothing wrong with liking the guns, shooting it can be pretty fun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur didn’t look convinced. “What’s fun about that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wanna try?” John offered right away. The merman looked at him shocked and a little unsure. Maybe it was a bad idea? Arthur was scared of the fire weapon. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur looked at the gun in John's hands and thought about it for a moment. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It would if you shot yourself accidently,” John joked but quickly stopped giggling when he noticed the face Arthur was making. “Sorry.” He cleared his throat and carefully handed the gun to the merman. “Don’t point the barrel at yourself or me. It rarely happens, but the gun can shoot on its own.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know how you can use something so dangerous,” Arthur admitted, holding the revolver with caution, far away from his body. It was amusing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could ask you the same about your teeth or claws.” The merman gave him the questioning look. “Can’t you hurt yourself with those?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I bit myself on the tongue many times and scratched myself even more but I doubt I would be able to kill myself with my own claws. Not accidently.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John shrugged. “The risk of using the gun, I guess. We don’t have claws or fangs to protect ourselves, so we use these.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your claws are pathetic,” Arthur decided, smirking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We call them nails,” John corrected him. “And leave them alone, maybe they’re not sharp but they can still scratch.” Maybe I will show it on your back one day, he added in his head, feeling his face heat up at the thought. “Okay, ready?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t be ready more.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then grip it properly, hand on the handle, curl your fingers around it. Good.” All the time John was making sure Arthur wasn’t pointing the barrel at any of them. “Finger near but off the trigger unless you want to shoot anyone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought we were going to shoot,” Arthur pointed out, puzzled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t even have anything to aim at.” John lifted himself from the sand and walked to the corner of the cave where they were leaving trash left by them. John would have to take them out today but he was glad he didn’t yet, because there were a lot of cans there that would be perfect for first time shooting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He picked a few and walked with them to the rock belt, placing them in some distance from one another before returning to Arthur and sitting back next to him. “I would say that you should stand but you can’t exactly do that, but just so you know, shooting from a sitting position is harder than while standing. So don’t worry if you won’t hit the can on the first try.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And who is going to fish them out later if I hit?” Arthur asked, glaring at John. “You’ll make a mess in my bay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John sighed. “I will if you take me there,” he promised. Arthur snorted. “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would still do most of the work,” he noticed. “Never mind, I was just joking anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re a funny fella,” John grumbled sarcastically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” the merman answered smugly before focusing on the targets. “So what do I do now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aim.” John leaned closer and pointed at the end of the barrel where the front sight was. “This will help you. Oh and watch out for recoil.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur looked away from the cans. “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The gun kicks back when you shoot. It’s not bad in revolvers but if you ain’t used to it, it can surprise you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm liking it less and less,” Arthur murmured, pointing the gun at the cans.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can still just not do it,” John reminded him. He would lie saying that Arthur didn’t look good with a revolver in hand, it would be nice to watch it some more but he didn’t want the merman doing something that was making him uncomfortable. Even if it was something arousing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John shifted uncomfortably and cleared his throat again while Arthur concentrated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When you’re ready, pull back the hammer,” John instructed him. Arthur did so, apparently ready. “Now just pull the trigger.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He did and the loud bang ranged out in the bay, scaring the nearby seagulls who took off into the air with screeches. They weren't the only one who got scared. Arthur literally jumped and it took all of John's willpower to not start laughing at his spooked expression that soon turned into a grimace. The merman whimpered and rubbed at his ear with free hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I forgot how loud it can be,” he said, a little louder than necessary. John didn’t mind, his own ears were ringing a little from the bang.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I'm still not used and I first started shooting regularly when I was fourteen.” John looked ahead at the cans, not surprised that all of them were still standing. “You missed, want to try again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just one more, I’m still not a fan of guns.” Arthur aimed again, remembering to pull the hammer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here, let me help you.” John scrambled to his knees and knelt behind the merman, putting his arms around him to reach for his hands. Arthur leaned back against him, allowing John to shift his aim and stance. “Try not to shake your hands or your aim will be crooked. Try shooting when you ain’t breathing at the moment, otherwise the chest can affect the shot as well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would be nice to know it before the first shot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John blushed. “Yeah, sorry, I'm a bad teacher.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You ain’t so bad,” Arthur protested right away. “You teach me how to read nicely. Can we do that later?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, I brought a book with me today.” It was a last moment decision to grab it. “Figured we could use some change from the compendium.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like the compendium.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled, hiding his face in Arthur’s hair. “Me too.” Arthur was supposed to shoot and yet they were talking while John still practically hugged him from behind, with a gentle grip on the merman’s wrist, holding his aim still as he would of his own. “Ready?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John took his hands, careful to not disturb the aim. He didn’t move away and stayed behind Arthur who pulled the trigger again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The merman still jumped a little, but John was there to steady him. They both watched as just after the shot, the bullet grazed one of the cans. It didn’t knock it off, but made it stumble as the bullet went by, hitting the rocks in the end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, you did it, you almost got it!” John exclaimed and hugged the merman, laughing into his ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur laughed back and turned his head to look at John. “It’s probably because of you,” he noticed, but he still looked proud.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, we will never know, I’m sure you’re just a fast learner.” John released Arthur from his hold and took a gun from him. “So what’s the verdict?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still hate guns.” John chuckled and twirled the gun on his finger, proud of himself when it caught Arthur’s attention and seemed to impress him. “But I can see why you like them. They look fun when you don’t use them to kill people.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you ever change your mind, just tell me, I can teach you how to handle a gun,” he offered and turned suddenly. In a blink of an eye he cocked the hammer and pulled the trigger, hitting the farthest can dead center, knocking it off the rocks. Smug, he turned back to gaping Arthur. “I’m pretty good at shooting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The merman grinned wide at him. “I can see that,” he said, amazement in his voice. “Can you hit all of them?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could hit them even if you would toss them in the air,” John bragged confidentially. He picked up his holster and put it back around his hips, pulling three bullets to make the cylinder full again since there were still four more cans on the rocks. “Watch this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Facing the cans, he bent his legs a little and shot four quick rounds from his hip, hitting each can without a problem. He trained his aim and speed on cans like that, he could shoot them with eyes closed if he tried.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pleased with himself, he turned to an impressed Arthur who clapped slowly and bowed. “You’re the best- um…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John watched him struggle to find the right word. “Gunslinger,” he suggested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur grinned at him. “You’re the best gunslinger I’ve ever seen,” he admitted and bowed again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m the only gunslinger you’ve ever seen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still stand by my opinion.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John snorted because of that ridicules man. “You want to read now?” he asked while reloading his gun again and letting the empty shells fall on the sand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure. You got the book in your satchel?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you can pull it out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John didn’t know why, but that short conversation made him warm inside. Maybe because it was a little domestic again, just like that time they ate breakfast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur was reading the title when John finally joined him, putting his belt back on the ground. He didn’t need to use it while here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I read part of the title,” the merman told him once John sat next to him. John nodded, telling him that way to go on. “I think two first words are names. Otis Miller?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup, you got that right,” John praised him, proud of Arthur’s progress. “What’s next?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s actually easy, ‘and the black’-” Arthur struggled a little with the next word. “The last one is ‘lady’ but I don’t know the other one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hearted,” John helped him. “’Otis Miller and the Black Hearted Lady’. It’s about gunslingers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What a coincidence,” Arthur chuckled and handed him the book.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wha… I thought you wanted to learn how to read,” John pointed out, confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like your voice, I want you to read me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John felt warmth settling in his chest. No one ever said he had a nice voice. If anything, people complained it was too scratchy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” he answered shyly. “Um, just so you know, I never read out loud for anyone,” he informed. Well, he read to Hosea and Dutch when they were teaching him but that was years ago. “At least for so long.” Because he also read to Arthur while teaching him. “So I won’t blame you if you tell me to shut up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm telling you now to shut up, unless it’s to open your mouth to ready.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John chuckled at the aggressive tone and opened the book on the first page. “Alright then, but I warned you, Art.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It can’t be worse than me reading.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“True.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Asshole.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled and didn’t say anything else, just started to read while Arthur curled around him comfortably like some pet snake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With time, they both changed their positions a little. By the time they reached the middle of the thin book, John was laying on his back, with Arthur laying across him, or rather the widest part of his tail lying on John's belly while the end curled somewhere behind John’s head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were both content like that, lying in the shade with the ocean humming next to them and a soft breeze ruffling their hair. John was a little shy to read at first and stuttered more than he should and he wasn’t proud of that. But once he realized Arthur wasn’t going to laugh, he just listened(John’s voice or the story, who knows), John became more confident and even tried to put some emotions in the dialogues.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Petting the tail on his belly, John invested himself in the story. It was more or less a children's book he borrowed, or rather stole it, from Jack when he noticed it by the boy’s bedroll while carrying cans from Pearson’s wagon. He picked it up because unlike compendium full of Latin words, this was written with more simplicity. A perfect book to teach Arthur to read better, why didn't John think of it earlier?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The plot was surprisingly interesting and John was really into it when he suddenly felt a light swat on his head. Not stopping the reading, he shook his head, knowing it was just Arthur’s tail. The merman was probably playing with him like always.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John got back to focus but read only the next paragraph when he was hit again. Pausing, he looked surprising at the tail fin shaking right next to his head. It moved fast, in a feverish pattern, almost like a rattle of a rattlesnake. John never saw it acting like that and he was concerned. He wanted to ask Arthur about that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur who didn’t protest when John stopped reading.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked at his friend but with the corner of his eyes John watched the side fins by his hips. They shook just like the tail one. That he saw before but never in that frequency.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Arthur, you okay?” he asked, tfocusing on the merman fully, really worried about his friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur’s face was all red and a bit sweaty as if he had a fever, so was his chest and only now John heard over the waves and his own voice that the merman was panting fast and shallow. What the hell was wrong?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The merman looked at him briefly, his eyes almost completely black but not because of the eyelids. He looked ashamed of something. In normal circumstances John would admire his beauty but he was too concerned for that now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Arthur replied in a raspy voice, his Adam’s apple bobbing violently when he gulped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John tried to sit up, do something, ask some more questions when it hit him. Arthur wasn’t sick, those weren’t signs of sickness, those were signs of arousal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blushing, John was about to ask what the hell made Arthur aroused, maybe turn it into a joke to ease some tension. Or go with it and offer help, confessing his feelings. He almost did it but during his tries to get from under Arthur’s tail, his fingers sank into the merman’s flesh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No, not the flesh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All the blood left from John’s face and he froze as he looked at his own hand, the same one he was using to pet Arthur’s tail. In the slit where the merman’s reproductive organs were hidden, John’s three fingers were pushed inside, right next to something that John was pretty sure was a cock. Hot, slick and hard, peeking out of the slit where John’s fingers were just stroking it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t even realize. Didn’t notice when the texture changed, or when he felt the wetness. He completely forgot about the slit at all, he just kept brushing Arthur’s tail like any other time before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He touched someone without their consent and now he felt the sudden need to chop off his own hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then the panic took over. “Fuck!” he cursed and scrambled from under Arthur’s tail. The merman probably helped when he finally realized what happened as well and crawled away, heading towards the water. “Shit, Arthur, I'm sorry!” John started saying, not even caring about forgiveness, just wanting to make sure Arthur knew it was an accident. He would never… “I would never touch you like that,” he swore, already feeling the guilt reaping his heart apart as Arthur kept moving away from him, looking hurt, broken even, and keeping the slit hidden behind his side fin that was still quivering with pleasure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fuck, what had he done?!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… I’m sorry, Arthur, I truly am,” he said again with a tight throat and ran away before Arthur could decide to tell him that he didn’t want to see him again. It wasn’t needed anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John realized he left his boots, satchel and holster on the beach and he didn’t even care. He just quickly saddled Old Boy and headed back to the camp, ready to close himself in his tent and never leave again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He screwed up like never before and now Arthur probably hated him. Nobody should be touched like that without consent, especially not by someone they trusted. John just broke Arthur’s trust and he wanted to throw up whenever the hurt on Arthur’s face flashed in front of his eyes. Which was all the time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John couldn’t shake this image from his head and it would stay there for a while, he was sure of that. Just like the guilt that sat heavily in his stomach.     </span>
</p><p>
  <span>John Marston probably just ruined the best thing in his life and he had no one to blame but himself.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So the tag accidental stimulation came into play. I wondered how many of you noticed it and wondered what it would mean. Well, it means this. </p><p>Sorry for the angst, especially those who hoped for a kiss in this chapter. You'll have to wait a tiny bit longer. </p><p>And don't worry, I won't keep you with this cliffhanger for long 😈</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Slow Dancing In the Darkness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry I made you wait so long.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John was sitting in his closed tent feeling like crap, not only because of how terrified he was, but also because of what he’d done. He intimately touched another person without consent. Sure it was an accident, he didn’t mean to but that wasn’t making his guilt any weaker.</p><p>He was always careful to never do something like that, he never even touched a prostitute if she wasn’t up for it, not to mention people close to him that trusted him. Those few women they have in the camp never felt threatened by him, they knew he would never touch them like that and they felt safe around him and everyone else. Dutch would kill anyone for violating a woman like that, it was absolutely forbidden in their gang.</p><p>For John it was one of the worst crimes as well, he wouldn’t want to be touched in that way either. And yet he did it to another person. Accident or not, he did it and he felt disgusted with himself.</p><p>But probably not as disgusted as Arthur was with him right now.</p><p>It’s been a few hours and he could still see Arthur’s face. How hurt the merman was, no doubt because of the broken trust. How he moved away from John despite John already doing it as well. There was no way that Arthur didn’t hate him now or at least wasn’t repulsed by him.</p><p>John would be repulsed. He was repulsed, his stomach didn’t settle since he came back to the camp, leaving his horse in a hurry to quickly hide and not answer uncomfortable questions. Kieran took care of his horse by now, the saddle was outside but John didn’t want to take it and show himself to the others even for a second. He wasn’t ready for them to see him like that, pale and ready to be sick.</p><p>God, he was such an idiot. He was always careful where he was touching Arthur’s tail. Always. The first time he almost touched it was awkward enough, he always suspected it would be just as bad if he actually touched it eventually without being invited to.</p><p>It was even worse.</p><p>He never felt so scared in his life, so embarrassed, so disgusted with himself. He did many bad things in his life but he honestly thought this was one of the worst, if not the worst. Not only he broke the trust of someone who trusted him with his life, violated this person’s body, he probably ruined their whole relationship.</p><p>He wanted to get back to the bay and apologize again, ask for forgiveness but he was scared to look Arthur into eyes. The merman didn’t even want that, it was clear as day, he kept avoiding John’s eyes while he apologized.</p><p>John didn’t need to get back to hear it with words, Arthur moving away was enough of a message.</p><p>But one he didn’t understand. Why Arthur didn’t say anything earlier, when John first touched him. He just laid there. Was he thinking it was deliberate and they both wanted it? No, that’s impossible, he wouldn’t have moved away if it was it. He was clearly scared, he didn’t want John touching him.</p><p>Then why did he let it last so long? John didn’t even know how long he was touching Arthur before he noticed something was wrong but surely the merman could have reacted from the start. John wouldn’t even blame him if Arthur had bitten him then. Or tore his arm open. That was a reasonable reaction for being violated.</p><p>But no, nothing, Arthur didn’t say a word till John asked him if he was okay. And even then he didn’t run, only when John did it.</p><p>He didn’t understand it. At all but it sure was making him more guilty. Because if Arthur didn’t say anything, he must’ve been scared and John hated the thought of that. That after all this time the merman armed with sharp claws and teeth was scared of him to the point he didn’t even protect himself from John.</p><p>It didn’t make sense, Arthur wasn’t shy when it came to confrontation, he didn’t seem like someone curling up in fear and this was what happened. It didn’t make sense but it was the only explanation. Because it sure as hell wasn’t shyness, Arthur was never embarrassed by sex. Then again, accidental touch is different. And unwelcome one can paralyze, John saw it happen when he once saved a whore from a client. Even when the man was on the floor, unconscious, the woman was frozen in place for a while, reacting only when John stupidly came closer to her and made her panic.</p><p>John groaned and curled around his stomach, feeling the bile rising to his throat. That was even worse, it made more sense now and he hated it. He scared Arthur to the point he just froze in fear. John was going to be sick. He ruined everything. Their friendship, the chance for something more if it was even there in the first place. But most of all, he accidently hurt Arthur in the worst way possible.</p><p>He had no idea how long he was sitting like that close to vomiting but suddenly the flap to his tent got opened. Ha watched with the corner of his eyes as Mary-Beth entered, smiling softly at him.</p><p>“Hey, John,” she greeted cheerfully. She was holding a bowl and spoon in her hands. “You’ve been here for a while so I brought you something to eat.”</p><p>She put the food on the table by his bed. John eyed it, feeling a new wave of nausea. “I'm not hungry,” he said carefully, afraid that if he would open his mouth, he would just puke. He never felt this sick in his life.   </p><p>He expected Mary-Beth to leave him alone, the closed tent was big enough of a sign saying that he wanted to be alone and even if he didn’t, she didn’t deserve to have her day ruined because John was a moron.</p><p>But Mary-Beth didn’t leave, she just started walking around picking up his dirty clothes and cleaning while humming some happy tune to cheer him up while he was feeling sick with himself. She was so sweet, she didn’t have to do any of this but she was, because she was a good friend. Better than he was to her at any point.</p><p>John got a little choked up because of this kindness and being alone didn’t seem so good anymore. He wanted to tell her everything. If she was helping him with such trivial things maybe she would help him with this problem as well. If it was even possible. You just can’t forgive something like that. And definitely not easily.</p><p>“I…” Mary-Beth turned around, curious but not pressing. “I met someone.”</p><p>John looked at her and saw no surprises on her face, just understanding. She carefully walked to him and sat next to him on his cot.</p><p>“A lover.”</p><p>It wasn’t a question.</p><p>John’s heart clenched painfully. “We’re not lovers.”</p><p>“But you want to be,” she realized.</p><p>He nodded hesitantly. “I’m sure I'm in love,” he confessed, his voice shaking a little.</p><p>Mary-Beth took one of his hands in hers and squeezed gently. “Do you want to talk about her?” she asked, smiling warmly at him. </p><p>John shook his head. “No.” Because he was afraid he would accidently let it slip that <em> she </em> was a <em> he </em>. But he could talk about the whole situation. He needed to say it to someone. “We spend a lot of time together, we have fun and I know she likes me, maybe even more or at least I hoped so but even if she did, I ruined it today.”</p><p>The thing he did was unforgivable.</p><p>“How so?”</p><p>He wasn’t sure if he wanted to say it but Mary-Beth couldn’t help him if she wouldn’t know the whole story. “I touched her intimately without consent.” Saying it out loud was making him even sicker, his inside twisted painfully. “It was an accident but the face she made after was… fear.” John bent his head and closed his eyes when he felt the first sting of tears. “She must hate me now,” he added quietly.</p><p>Mary-Beth shifted next to him. He wouldn’t blame her if she decided he was disgusting too. But she didn’t move away, she squeezed his hands harder, taking it in both of hers now. “Did she say that?” she asked, trying to look at him through his hair that was falling around his face.</p><p>“She didn’t say anything, I ran away before she could,” he answered and looked up at his friend, surprised she was still here. “I didn’t want to hear her saying that.”</p><p>That would hurt even more than the look on Arthur’s face and that already hurt more than any bullet wound.</p><p>“Did you say it was an accident?”</p><p>“Of course, I apologized right away but she…” God, he could still see it. Arthur didn’t look so broken even when John told him he wouldn’t be his friend right at the beginning. “You didn’t see her face, Mary-Beth, she looked broken and moved away from me.”</p><p>Arthur never did that before. They were always sitting close to each other. Like attached at the hip.</p><p>“John, she was probably surprised.” He shook his head. This couldn’t be this easy. “And scared more from your outburst than anything else and you both read it wrong. This was embarrassing for both of you and you acted emotionally and that didn’t help your reactions. Of course she moved away if you panicked and did it first. She probably wanted to give you space.”</p><p>John desperately wanted to believe it was true. That it was just a big misunderstanding that he only made worse by running away.</p><p>“How else I should’ve reacted then? I didn’t want to scare her more, that’s why I moved.”</p><p>Arthur didn’t tell him to stop or moved on his own but John figured that was what he wanted. He couldn’t imagine that the merman wanted this, liked it and that’s why he didn’t say a thing, reacting accordingly only when John panicked. That would be too good to be true.</p><p>“Maybe stay long enough to listen to what she wanted to say?” Mary-Beth suggested. “Maybe she would’ve said that she wasn’t angry. That she forgives you and nothing wrong happened.” A cheeky smile appeared on her face. “Maybe she would’ve asked you to continue if she’s shy about those things,” she said in a suggestive tone.</p><p>John chuckled nervously. Even if Arthur would’ve said that, John didn’t stay long enough to hear it. He wondered for a moment why he ran. But then he remembered the disgust that he may or not interpreted wrong in his panic.</p><p>“Or I would’ve heard I'm disgusting,” he reminded his friend.</p><p>Mary-Beth looked at him sadly. “Do you really think she would say that? How long have you known each other, a few weeks?” He nodded. Something like that, he never really counted. “I think she knows you pretty well by now and trusts you. You haven’t touched her like that before, right?”</p><p>John blushed a bit. “There was some sensual, seducing touching,” he admitted shyly.</p><p>“But never anything erotic?” John nodded. “John, she probably knows it was an accident, especially with how you reacted and apologized right away. You should have stayed and let her tell you that. You need to go back.”</p><p>He wanted to, at least try to fix it.</p><p>“I'm scared,” he admitted like a little boy he once was.</p><p>He stared into Death’s eyes more times than he could count and yet he was scared the most by this. By the perspective of going to Arthur and hearing that the merman didn’t want to know him anymore.</p><p>“I'm sure you are but trust me, you’ll regret it if you won’t.” Mary-Beth smiled at him again, this and her hands around his were encouraging. He stared into her warm gaze as she continued speaking. “Stay the night, allow both of you to shake the worst of the fear and go to her in the morning like you would always do. Show her you care and your friendship still means a lot to you.”</p><p>John’s heart filled with hope. He desperately wanted to believe it would work and Arthur wasn’t angry at him. Or disgusted. That if not more, they could still be friends. He didn’t want to lose their friendship and he would do anything to save it.</p><p>“You think…”</p><p>“I think it’s not as bad as you think it is,” she interrupted him before he could start imagining the worst scenarios. “Go to her tomorrow, apologize again, let her speak. I’m sure she’ll understand.”</p><p>“Okay,” he agreed. He should’ve done that from the beginning instead of running away. He always liked to avoid problems but this was too important. He was better than that, Arthur deserved a better friend than that and John was going to show he could be that friend.</p><p>“It’ll be okay,” Mary-Beth assured him, seeing that he was still a little shaken. That wouldn’t stop till he could be certain that Arthur still wanted him in his life. “She must know you would never do something like that on purpose.” She was right, Arthur wasn’t like that. “You’re a good man, John Marston. Just a little dumb.”</p><p>They both chuckled. “Can’t argue with you there.”  </p><p>“Whoever is that woman, she’s lucky to have you.”</p><p>Mary-Beth let go of his hands and hugged him. He gladly hugged her back, hoping that tomorrow he would hug Arthur like that again. He missed him already.</p><p>“Thank you, Mary-Beth,” he murmured into her shoulder.</p><p>The woman moved away and smiled. “You can thank me tomorrow.”</p><p>Only after that she left, telling him to eat something. He didn’t, his stomach was still too upset. He just laid down on his cot and thought about what he would say tomorrow. He wanted to say everything clear, with no place for misinterpretations. That’s what probably got him into that mess in the first place. He needed to say more than what he said then. Something that didn’t sound as wrong.</p><p><em> ‘I would never touch you like that.’ </em> Oh god, that was really bad. Even if Arthur wanted it, after such words no wonder he backed away. John would’ve done the same.</p><p>John didn’t sleep through the whole night. He couldn’t. So he stayed wide awake till it was morning and a cold dread filled his body. As much as he wanted to go to the bay and explain everything, he was still scared. Instead of going right away the moment the sun raised on the horizon, he tried to find excuses to go later.</p><p>He was terrified of what he would hear from Arthur, that his hope would get crushed in an instant.</p><p>Others noticed his hesitation and didn’t shy away from jokes, never pointing out they knew about his mistress but it was clear that was the aim of their jokes. Especially after one in particular.</p><p>“Only one thing can cause such fear in a man,” Uncle laughed. “The greatest gift, and the greatest curse of us all, gentleman.”</p><p>Uncle was wrong. It weren’t women that were putting fear in men. It was the thought of losing the best thing in their lives that did that. Arthur was like that to John and he didn’t want to lose him. But he would if he wouldn’t go to him now, because Arthur couldn’t go to him.</p><p>He needed to get brave and go, he already had Old Boy saddled, not by him, but he saw Mary-Beth telling Kieran to do so and the boy would do anything for her. So all John needed to do was hoist himself up and rode off but his legs refused to move.</p><p>“John.” Mary-Beth walked from behind him and put her hand on his back. “It’ll be alright. You’re happy with her, don’t throw it away because of fear.”</p><p>He wouldn’t. And till his friends' words were still ringing in his head, giving him so much needed courage, he climbed Old Boy and squeezed him with his thighs. The horse moved, slow at first, then entering the trot and eventually the gallop.</p><p>John’s heart was hammering in the rhythm of hoofbeats but he wasn't going to run away again, despite everything in him screaming to leave, even the gang and never return close to the ocean. He shook those thoughts out of his head. He wasn’t a god damn coward!</p><p>Instead of going straight to the bay, he visited the town first. John left his horse in front of the store and entered, exchanging greetings with the familiar clerk. He knew for what he came here walked to the section with candies. He wasn’t going to come to Arthur empty handed. Maybe candies weren't the best gift but what would be in that situation? Sweets would show his good will or at least he hoped so.</p><p>He grabbed a full fist of some mix of fruit flavored ones and put them in a small paper bag, carrying it to the register.</p><p>“Those are locals' favorites,” the clerk told him with a smile. “You will enjoy it.”</p><p>“It’s not for me.”</p><p>He hoped he wouldn’t have to eat them alone in the end.</p><p>“Whoever they are for, I’m sure they’ll like it to,” the clerk assured him with another smile.</p><p>John smiled back weakly and paid for the candies. The clerk wished him a good day. It was going to be good, John was going to make sure of that.</p><p>The heavy feeling in his stomach grew the closer he was getting to the bay. Right at the cliff, while he was dismounting, John was close to getting a heart attack. The need to run was overwhelming and pulled at his legs but he stood his ground and instead of getting back on the horse, he walked towards the path.</p><p>It felt almost like a dream when he saw Arthur right after crossing the wall of branches. The merman was sitting on the rocks, looking towards the path as if waiting for John. He has cut his hair since yesterday, making it short. He looked handsome.</p><p>John let out a breath of relief. If Arthur was still here and waited for him, then he wanted to make it right too.</p><p>It was hard to read anything from Arthur’s face, it was blank but his tail was saying everything John needed to know. The merman was nervous, his side fins were shaking slightly and the tip of the tail swayed to the sides like in an angry cat.</p><p>John felt drawn to him and suddenly the need to escape wasn’t there anymore, just the need to make it right that finally grew big enough to beat any fear.</p><p>He stepped down the path and at the same time, Arthur slid off the rocks and swam to meet him in the middle. John felt a little unsure when they stopped in front of each other, Arthur still in the water, him on the warm sand, just a couple of feet away, kneeling to not hover over the merman.</p><p>He was determined to do it right, he had his speech ready but when he opened his mouth, he threw it away. Speech wouldn’t express all he felt.  </p><p>“I wanted to apologize, Arthur,” he started gently, watching the merman’s reaction. His tail stirred in the water but the face was still blank. John gave him candies then and Arthur took it but didn’t look that interested in them, just stared at John who took a deep breath before continuing. So far so good, he could do this. “It was an accident, I would never touch you like that without your consent.” Finally some reaction. Arthur frowned and looked away, thinking about something intensely. It would’ve been scary but then the merman’s blue eyes were on his again and they were just full of curiosity. His face was relaxed and open, not hiding anything. He even looked happy, at least his eyes that glistened. “I got so invested in the book I didn’t even notice, I only realized when your fins started acting up. It wasn’t deliberate and I didn’t do it to hurt you. Or break your trust. I’m really sorry. For this and for running instead of explaining on the spot but you was moving away from me and I was afraid that you was angry at me. Or rather disgusted.”</p><p>“I was not,” Arthur said immediately, not allowing John to wait anxiously for his response. Instead, he almost made John choke on the relief he felt in a second after the merman said those so awaited words. “Angry or disgusted,” the merman clarified and looked at John a little nervously. “Just… surprised. Till you reacted I didn’t even know why you was doing it or if you was even aware of it. And I was a little caught up in the feeling since no one ever touched me before. It was… nice.”</p><p>John and Arthur both chuckled nervously at that and blushed. This whole situation was so absurd and didn’t even have to escalate to all of this if John hadn’t run in panic.</p><p>“Shit, that must’ve been awkward for you.”</p><p>It would’ve been for John too if he wasn’t panicking then.</p><p>Arthur nodded. “It was, I didn’t know how to say you were doing anything so I didn’t, hoping you wouldn’t notice my reaction. Or that I would find the excuse to get away for a little but I couldn’t think clearly in the moment.”</p><p>“Yeah, it can do that to you,” John confirmed and shifted nervously. “So you’re not angry or disgusted?”</p><p>He needed to ask just to be sure.</p><p>“No.” John was glad he was already kneeling because he would’ve fallen to his knees right then. “Are you?”</p><p>John blinked in surprise at him. “For what?”</p><p>Arthur didn’t do anything wrong.</p><p>“For how I reacted and did nothing instead of telling you right away,” Arthur explained, looking away guilty. “I apologize for that, that was stupid of me. I thought you felt used by me. Or disgusted by how I reacted to you touching me. You even said you would never touch me like that so I thought I would keep my distance.”</p><p>In normal circumstances, John would’ve been happy with Arthur’s reaction to his touch, it would even make him aroused himself. It didn’t disgust him at all, the only person John was disgusted with at that moment was himself.</p><p>“No, it’s fine,” he assured. Arthur looked at him unsure so John smiled at him reassuringly. “I wasn’t disgusted by your reaction. It was normal and to be expected, and you had the right to be overwhelmed so much you didn’t react and tell me, especially since it was um… the first time for you.” It never crossed his mind before that Arthur was a virgin with how alienated among his species he was. It wasn’t the time to think about that but he still blushed when he felt a thrill of excitement going through him. He needed to clear his throat before he continued. “It’s fine, I caused it so no need to apologize. I reacted how I reacted because I thought I violated you. Ruined our friendship, not because I was disgusted by your reaction. I thought you was disgusted by me.”</p><p>Arthur shook his head. “Like I said, just surprised and mostly confused,” he admitted again. “And I guess overwhelmed too. But I'm fine, we’re fine. Right?”</p><p>There was so much hope in Arthur’s eyes as he crawled closer towards John.</p><p>“Absolutely,” he replied and opened his arms for a hug.</p><p>Arthur gladly took the invitation and clung to John almost as tight as when they reconnected after John’s recovery.</p><p>John let himself relax finally, the worries left his body and mind and all that existed for him right now was Arthur and his body against him. He feared that they would never be able to hug like that again but here they were, finding comfort in each other. The hug was giving John hope, not only for keeping their friendship as it already was, but still for something more.</p><p>Arthur wasn’t disgusted. Not by John, not by the fact they’re both men. Not even by the touch. Maybe he didn’t want to be touched yesterday but that didn’t have to mean anything, everyone would’ve been surprised when touched unexpectedly like that. And for the first time too. Maybe he would want that when he would expect that. There was a big chance for that and John still had hope for something more.</p><p>He would just wait a few more days, just to not overwhelm Arthur more after yesterday. It was stressful for both of them, they didn’t need more excitement. Just a few more days and then John would confess. That he loved him, wanted to kiss him, hold him like a lover. Touch him like yesterday if Arthur would allow that. </p><p>“Guess we both misinterpreted our reactions,” John murmured into the merman’s shoulder. Mary-Beth was right, panic blinded him,</p><p>Arthur chuckled and moved away slightly. “Guess we did.”</p><p>John moved as well and the hug ended, far too quickly for his taste. “Sorry I ran away,” he said, smiling sheepishly.</p><p>“Didn’t even give me a chance to assure you it was fine,” Arthur pointed out. “And I was going to. Say that and explain myself.” Arthur sighed and shook his head. “But I can’t blame you for running when I didn’t react the best way myself.”</p><p>“I panicked.”</p><p>It was the only explanation for his irrational behavior.</p><p>“I could see that, you left everything.”</p><p>Arthur nodded towards the beach. When John looked, he could see his things laying neatly near the chest. Arthur took care of them.</p><p>“Yeah. I was really scared you know?”</p><p>Arthur smiled at him. “Me too. I haven’t slept the whole night.”</p><p>“Me too,” John admitted with a chuckle before he looked guilty at Arthur again. “I’m sorry. I should’ve been more careful where I touch you.”</p><p>“I know it was an accident,” the merman assured him. That was a relief, he didn’t want Arthur to say it just to make him feel better with himself. “And that you didn’t want to hurt me. Your reaction did it more.”</p><p>That wasn’t his best moment.</p><p>“I'm sorry,” he said again.</p><p>Arthur nodded in understanding. “I'm sorry too,” he said quietly in a vulnerable voice. “Should’ve said something sooner instead of putting you in that position where you felt bad about yourself and what you did which wasn't even your fault. I would say everything is forgiven, but there is nothing to forgive.” The merman looked him into eyes before continuing. “Not on my part.”</p><p>John never blamed Arthur for how he reacted. There was nothing to forgive either. But he was glad that he didn’t have to be forgiven as well. He touched Arthur without consent but the merman didn’t hold it against him. He was never even angry. It helped John feel better with himself, less like he did something really awful and more like he just shoved Arthur accidently. He was still feeling a little guilty but it would pass, especially knowing the merman wasn’t blaming him.  </p><p>“Yeah, I'm not mad at you for not telling me.”</p><p>“I'm not angry either.” They smiled at each other, both relieved that the problem was over. And then Arthur lifted a bag with candies. “Want some?” he offered with a huge grin that John loved so much.</p><p>“I bought them,” he pointed out.</p><p>Arthur took one of the pastilles and put it in his mouth, crushing the candy with his teeth and swallowing it. “You don’t have to take them if you don’t want them,” he said and grabbed the beg with his teeth before crawling away.</p><p>“No, come on, give me that.” John followed him but in that moment, Arthur increased the speed of his crawl. John was forced to walk faster around the water, surprised that the merman didn’t run there. Maybe he didn’t want to get candies wet. “Hey! You god damn egoist!”</p><p>“It’s a gift, you don’t take gifts back!” Arthur shouted. It was a little hard to understand him because his mouth was occupied.</p><p>“You offered!” John reminded the merman and started jogging when Arthur sped up again. He felt like running after an excited dog. Or a toddler.</p><p>“Well, now I'm taking it back!” he explained with amusement in his voice.</p><p>“Give me that!” John ordered and entered a full run, because damn it, Arthur could be really fast despite the lack of legs. Thankfully not for long and shortly after circling the remains of their everyday fire, the merman slowed down significantly. John could even hear his pants, even more so when he jumped at Arthur and pinned him to the ground, turning him on his back, sitting on his hips and holding him by the shoulders. “Got you!” Arthur's lips stretched in a grin, still holding the bag with his teeth before he took it and offered John candies again. He took one, it was very sweet. “Was this so hard?”</p><p>“No, but I like annoying you,” the merman explained himself, still grinning. John wanted to kiss that grin of his lips so badly.</p><p>“Bastard,” he said instead and got up from the merman, sitting down on the sand instead.</p><p>“I like you too, John,” Arthur replied smugly and joined him, sitting as close as ever. John was glad that yesterday didn’t change anything between them.</p><p>“Yeah. Me too,” he admitted shyly.</p><p>“We say that a lot today,” Arthur noticed with a chuckle.</p><p>John laughed back. “I guess we do,” he agreed and looked ahead at the calm ocean in front of them. “You know, I would’ve probably still been in my tent, scared to get out but Mary-Beth told me to grow a pair and apologize,” he admitted.</p><p>He was ashamed of how cowardly he acted. Especially because if he only stayed a little longer, or returned right away, everything would’ve been fine quicker. They could’ve avoided the sleepless night and worrying about their future together.</p><p>Arthur’s eyes squinted and he looked at John, puzzled. “A pair of what?”</p><p>John wanted to explain but then decided against it and waved his hand dismissively. “Never mind,”</p><p>Arthur shrugged, satisfied with his answer. “You should’ve given those candies to her, not me,” he pointed out, eating another candy. Just like the first one, this one he just crushed with his teeth too.</p><p>“Are you complaining?” John asked in fake annoyance and glared at the merman.</p><p>“Not really, they’re tasty,” Arthur replied with a grin.</p><p>John smiled. “You’re welcome,” he said and got back to watching the ocean. “I’ll buy Mary-Beth some better gift.”</p><p>She deserved something more than candies for pushing him into the right direction.</p><p>“Oh, so this one is bad?” Arthur asked, offended. “You can give me the worst gift?”</p><p>John laughed. “Screw you, Arthur, I gave you plenty of good gifts.”</p><p>Lightly, he shoved the merman with his elbow who grinned, any offence gone from his face, replaced by the affection. John’s heart started beating faster. Just an hour ago every beat was heavy and almost painful, now it was light and joyful again.</p><p>“Yeah, I know.” They shared candies again. “What are you going to buy her?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” he admitted and put a candy in his mouth. “She’s a woman, she likes pretty things like jewelry.” A necklace would be nice. Or a brooch. “And books, she loves books.”</p><p>Arthur nodded. “I remember,” he admitted, eating candy after candy. John wondered if he should tell him that they were supposed to be eaten slow, not chowed with teeth.</p><p>“But I’m not sure which books she already read and I don’t want to ask her,” John said, already knowing that choosing a gift wouldn’t be easy. Could he even give Mary-Beth a gift when he wasn’t courting her, was it appropriate? They gang wasn’t always following every norm, they were outlaws after all but he didn’t want to offend her. “It’s a gift after all. Want to surprise her.”</p><p>Arthur thought about it, chewing loudly. John watched him fondly, not believing that he was falling even more in love than he already was. “Jewelry then,” he said eventually and then tossed his head back and poured more candies into his mouth. How could he even chew them so easily?</p><p>“I have some money but I think she will get mad if I buy her something expensive,” John said after the loud sound of crashing candies stopped interrupting him. “She wouldn’t mind me stealing something tho.” Stealing would be the best option, some women in town even had pretty jewelry. The only problem was that all those necklaces, rings and earrings were always on them. “But I'm bad at subtly stealing, I prefer to threaten people with a gun, you know? It’s more effective anyway since I'm scary to people.”</p><p>“Won’t you be in trouble if you steal something from the town?” Arthur asked, worried.</p><p>“Yeah,” he confirmed with a sigh. He didn’t want to risk getting recognized there later. “Guess I have to buy something and tell her I stole it.”</p><p>“Why don’t you make her something?” Arthur suggested. “We often give gifts like that. Among families I mean. No neighbor will give others a gift.”</p><p>A personal gift would be great but there was one little problem with that.</p><p>“I'm not good with crafting.”</p><p>He saw girls making flower crowns sometimes and when out of curiosity he tried the same thing while he was alone, he failed. He was only good with braiding hair but making something that Mary-Beth would like and not laugh at was impossible.</p><p>Arthur hummed in contemplation and moved his tail impatiently.</p><p>“Hold my candies,” he said and shoved the bag right into the hands of surprised John. “Don’t eat them all.”</p><p>John looked inside the bag, noticing only a few candies were left.</p><p>“There is barely anything left!” he shouted after the merman, watching him swim through the shallow water and then disappearing in the depths of the ocean.</p><p>John was confused. Was Arthur going to bring him something? Something from a sunken ship? If so, John would have to refuse this help. It was supposed to be a gift from him, Arthur doing all the work and bringing some old necklace just didn’t seem right.</p><p>It didn’t take long for Arthur to return, John only ate one candy in the meantime. Because he wasn’t some uncivilized merman that had to chew everything. There was something in Arthur's hand but John couldn’t tell what it was till the merman got closer.</p><p>“A shell?” Arthur smiled and took a seat next to John, showing him a shell from a closer distance. “What am I supposed to do with a shell?”</p><p>He had to admit, it was pretty, dark red, with black and white spots near the narrow end. It wasn’t big, the size of a pocket watch and when John took it in his hand, it wasn't heavy either. It looked like it belonged to some clam.</p><p>“We’ll make a necklace,” Arthur answered. “My mother used to do them a lot, I know how. We just need a string or a thin chain.”</p><p>Make a necklace? On their own? He was very sceptic about this idea.</p><p>“I think I have in my saddlebags a string from one of my old hats.”</p><p>“Go get it, we’ll make a necklace,” the merman stated again. “You can say it’s from both of us then. My thank you for knocking a sense into your head. No need to run away from me, John.”</p><p>“I know.” Or at least he knew that now. John gave Arthur an one arm hug the merman returned instantly and then John was up, going back up on the cliff. When he returned, carrying a little worn out string that would not look good around anyone’s neck, Arthur was doing something with a shell. “What are you doing?”</p><p>The merman looked up at him. “A hole for the string,” he answered and returned to his work. John sat down next to him and watched. Arthur was scraping the shell in one place, slowly digging through it.</p><p>“You will finish before next month?” John joked and then laughed when Arthur glared at him with the corner of an eye. Still grinning proudly because of his joke, John showed the merman the string. “I got this.”</p><p>Arthur checked the string, his nose already wrinkling. “It’s older than all them ships I find on the bottom of the ocean. And I’m sure they’re at least hundred years old.”</p><p>“Well, I don’t have anything else,” he informed, already feeling resigned. “And chains for necklaces don’t lie around, you know?”</p><p>“They lay in the ocean,” Arthur answered with a smug grin.</p><p>“Then go get one!”</p><p>He didn’t, he just kept making a hole.</p><p>“Why don’t we use the ribbon we used to braid Old Boy’s mane with?” Arthur asked.</p><p>John thought about it. It would look much better than this old string.</p><p>“The ribbon is a little big but I could cut it in half,” John suggested. “This way the hole won’t have to be too big.”</p><p>Arthur nodded in agreement and John hurried back to the cliff to get the ribbon. The shell wasn’t ready yet when he returned, it still took the merman around half an hour to gently make the hole in the shell and not break it in the process. John cut the ribbon into a few different, smaller pieces, making sure they weren’t crooked. Cutting with a knife and not with scissors wasn’t easy but he soon had a bunch of ribbons.</p><p>When Arthur was done, John passed the end of the thinnest ribbon through the shell and tied it with the other end. A lock would be perfect, a simple knot wasn’t secure enough but it would have to be for now. Maybe he could visit the local goldsmith that would finish the necklace.</p><p>But even without a lock it looked good. The red ribbon fitted the red color of the shell and it would no doubt look pretty hanging from Mary-Beth’s neck.</p><p>“You think she will like it?” Arthur asked.</p><p>“I'm sure she will,” John answered without any doubt. The necklace looked exactly like something Mary-Beth would like. Maybe it wasn’t some fancy, expensive jewelry he could’ve stolen but it was handmade, which meant much more. “Thank you for helping me, I’ll say it’s from both of us.”</p><p>“I was going to give it to you but I think Mary-Beth will enjoy it more.”</p><p>John blushed because of the confession and smiled coyly. “You were going to give me a necklace?”</p><p>“Depends.” John was happy to discover that Arthur was blushing as well. “Do human males wear necklaces?”</p><p>“Natives. White people, not really,” he answered and after a second added. “But I would wear one from you.”</p><p>Just because he was going to wait with the confession didn’t mean he was going to shy away from testing the water still. Maybe it could even encourage Arthur to say something as well. And even if not, it was just fun to do, watching how it was affecting the merman. The heart in John’s chest skipped a beat when Arthur got a little shy and blushed some more.</p><p>They spent the rest of the day together, talking and having fun like always. The other day didn’t change anything, there was nothing awkward in their conversation and there was no issues with sitting close, with touching, which John was afraid would happen. But the touching was as natural and comfortable as ever. Arthur trusted John, knew he would not do anything like that again.</p><p>When they ended up lying together again, Arthur didn’t even hesitate to place his tail in John’s lap. John on the other hand, was a little nervous while petting it, but only at first. After a few minutes of being paranoid about touching that one spot he shouldn’t, he relaxed and they continued talking with John petting the tail comfortably and without fear.</p><p>He would miss those days if he didn’t decide to explain everything. For the rest of his life he would wonder ‘what if’ and regretted that he didn’t fix his mistake. Even thinking about that possibility was making his heart ache just like it was doing yesterday when he was still sure he ruined everything.</p><p>Thankfully he didn’t, he never ruined anything and he could still enjoy being with Arthur the way they both liked.</p><p>Being together was so easy that the night arrived almost out of nowhere. They were resting after dinner when John decided to go back. He needed to give Mary-Beth her gift and tell how the day went, even though she probably suspected it was great. He didn’t return to the camp after all and someone no doubt went to town to see if he wasn’t getting drunk to silence the broken heart.</p><p>Apart from being sad that John was going, Arthur didn’t oppose. Or so John thought till the merman spoke to him while he was putting a belt around his hips. The same one he forgot the other day.</p><p>“Can you stay a little longer?” he asked, looking really nervous. “I want to show you something.”</p><p>Curious, John dropped the belt back onto the ground. “Okay, what is it?”</p><p>He hoped it was nothing bad. Arthur was very tense and hesitantly moved towards the water. “We need to swim for that,” he explained.</p><p>John looked towards the water so dark it looked almost completely black. If it weren't moving gently, he would swore it was a void. “Is it another shark?” he joked to release some tension in the air but it had the opposite effect.</p><p>Arthur huffed offended and swatted the water with his tail, splashing some onto John. “Sorry,” he apologized. It wasn’t the best time for jokes, even if the intentions were good. Whatever Arthur wanted to show him, it was important.</p><p>Another secret? He doubted it but there was a high chance it was something he didn’t know about his friend before.</p><p>“It won’t take long,” Arthur assured him, smiling with relief when John followed him to the rock belt. “Just a minute underwater, I wouldn’t hold you there longer.”</p><p>“Unless you want to turn me,” John chuckled, realizing it was another bad joke when the merman tensed again. “Sorry, I can act a little dumb when I’m nervous.”</p><p>“I can tell.”</p><p>“Asshole.”</p><p>Now that helped ease the tension in both of them. Because John wasn’t lying, he was nervous, and not because he was about to enter the dark water. Well, that too. He just wasn’t sure what to expect from the sudden proposition to dive and Arthur’s behavior wasn’t helping at all.</p><p>They both climbed the rocks and John had a better view of the water now. The ocean wasn’t looking so bad but still scary. But the bay was much worse and John wished there was a moon in the sky that would give at least some light but it was hidden behind clouds. Only millions of stars here and there were giving some light but it wasn’t nearly enough to light up the water that was dark even during the day.</p><p>John looked into it and felt his skin crawl. He was sure that even if he would be able to swim, it would still be unsettling for him. Only the knowledge that there were no dangerous creatures down there and that Arthur was going to be there with him, was making John do it.</p><p>“What am I supposed to see there?” he asked, watching Arthur go head first into the water. The merman disappeared for a moment and when he emerged again, his eyes were as black as the water around him. What was scary was how close to the surface Arthur had to get for John to see him. “It’s too dark for me.”</p><p>It was a shame his lantern wouldn’t work underwater.</p><p>“Believe me, you’ll see what I want to show you,” Arthur assured, even though he himself still looked unsure. “Come on.” Arthur offered him his hand and John carefully entered the water. His body would’ve gone down like a stone if Arthur wasn’t there to hold him right away.</p><p>The water was still warm after the whole day in the sun but Arthur’s skin was cold as he protectively held John against his body. John stared into black eyes of his friend, trying to read something from them or from the face expression but all he saw was nervousness.</p><p>Whatever it was, it was really big, he never saw the merman so worried. Well, beside being worried about John’s wound but that was different, what he was about to show John now wasn't life threatening or at least shouldn’t be. It kind of was for John anyway because he could drown.</p><p>“Do you trust me?” Arthur asked, breaking the silence between them.</p><p>John could swear he could feel Arthur’s heartbeat against his chest, where his own heart wasn’t any calmer due to the closeness they were in.</p><p>“With my life,” he answered without hesitation. Why was he asking now when it was already obvious?</p><p>Arthur smiled shyly and took them both underwater. John panicked a little when water covered him completely but he calmed down quickly, remembering that Arthur was still with him, holding him close as they went deeper.</p><p>John couldn’t see anything in the darkness, even Arthur who was just in front of him. He looked up, hoping to see some light falling into the water from there but all he saw was a dark surface. He wasn’t even sure how high it was, how deep they were already.</p><p>When he looked down, it wasn’t any better. He didn’t see his feet or Arthur’s tail, he saw nothing but darkness. Even if the bottom was right under his feet, he couldn’t tell.</p><p>He didn’t like this, at all but he forced himself to stay calm to not waste the air. Arthur still needed to show him something.</p><p>John realized why the merman asked him if he trusted Arthur when he suddenly felt his friend moving away from him. John tried to follow, needed to follow, he couldn’t swim and he was left alone in the water, in complete darkness.</p><p>He tried to reach his hands towards Arthur but the merman was already gone and John had no idea where he was. His eyes were open but he couldn’t see as he hovered in water as if in the air. Everything in him was telling him to start panicking, wave his hands and legs to at least try to swim but he didn’t. He trusted Arthur, the merman was still there somewhere and he wouldn’t let John drown.  </p><p>So John stayed as calm as he could, sure that if anything wrong would happen, Arthur would grab him and get him to the surface like he did on the day they met.</p><p>Not moving, he waited, surprised he wasn’t just sinking to the bottom. Or maybe he was and just couldn’t see. He only waved his legs slightly and kept turning his head around, looking for whatever Arthur was supposed to show him. Whatever it was, he should hurry because John couldn’t wait forever. He wasn’t sure how long he was underwater already but it felt like eternity.</p><p>And then he spotted something in the darkness. A blue light somewhere in front of him and coming his way. He was startled by its sudden appearance, he didn’t know what it was till it got closer and turned out to be Arthur.</p><p>Arthur in a way he had never seen him before. His tail was dispersing the darkness around, glowing bright blue with leopard spots and tiger stripes while all of his fins looked like someone drew lightning on them. Only his human body didn’t glow but the tail was bright enough to light up Arthur whole and John as well when he stopped right in front of him.</p><p>He almost opened his mouth because of how beautiful the merman looked right now. He was already beautiful but this… This was something else, almost mystical. John had never seen any creature, both on land and in the water, glowing like that. There were fireflies but those couldn’t even compete with this.</p><p>Spots and stripes on Arthur’s tail created a pattern on the scales, making this already pretty part of the merman’s body even more beautiful. John couldn’t look away from this art of beauty and he even reached his hand to touch it, see how it worked. Was it some strange paint? Were the scales glowing like that on their own? Like a lantern with electricity?</p><p>But before he could touch the tail, Arthur swam away, showing flexibility like never before. His whole body bent almost in half as he swam on his back before turning back on his front and twirling, spreading his glowing fins wide.</p><p>John stared with amazement as Arthur, completely focused, glided through the water around him with his eyes closed. The merman circled him, twisting his body in turns that shouldn’t be possible yet John was witnessing it. It looked like some sort of dance of light, a show in a first row just for John. Every move seemed deliberate, planned, filled with intent to catch attention and astonish.</p><p>And it worked.</p><p>Arthur kept swimming slowly around him, twirling and bending and curling his tail, flipping it like a whip and waving his fins like wings. Even if John wanted, he wouldn’t be able to turn away his eyes, because the light was too captivating, like a glow in the fog or in the middle of the dark forest. A lure you just needed to follow, even if it would kill you.</p><p>Rightfully sirens were thought to be a doom for sailors. John could already feel his breath ending and he didn’t even care. His eyes followed Arthur constantly and how his tail moved with grace, even for a moment he didn’t want to stop looking or miss the next move of this hypnotic dance.</p><p>And then Arthur looked at him for the first time. Their eyes met and John felt the last of air leaving his lungs as it was pushed out by the intensity of the merman’s gaze, by the light illuminating in those black pools staring back at him with affection.</p><p>Arthur smiled at him then, a radiant smile that seemed to glow almost as bright as his tail. If that would be the last thing John would see before death, he was fine with that, because this was the most beautiful sight he could ever witness.   </p><p>He was so overwhelmed by this beauty he didn’t even react when Arthur swam right at him. John wasn’t scared anyway and hugged the merman with trust when he was grabbed by the strong arms and with one push of the tail, dragged back towards the surface.</p><p>The moment his head was out of water, John gasped for a breath. His lungs burned, he coughed and had trouble swallowing the air but he didn’t care, because he just witnessed something unbelievable. Even stars on a clear night couldn’t rival with Arthur glowing in the dark of the water and dancing.  </p><p>The merman held him as John slowly got his breath under control. Arthur’s tail was still glowing but now John only looked at his face, at the still bright smile on his lips and blue eyes staring back at him with happiness.</p><p>“That was-” John panted, grinning like an idiot. “-incredible! I didn’t know you could do that!”</p><p>Arthur never showed him this before and he had no idea why. The merman showed him the ocean, which was already beautiful and amazing, but hid something like this? John would’ve been offended if he still wasn’t amazed by the show.</p><p>Arthur never stopped smiling but now his smile grew.</p><p>“It’s a mating dance,” he explained and licked his lips nervously. John lost his breath again and he was sure his heart actually stopped for a second before it started racing in his chest that filled with hope. “We use it to show other merpeople we’re interested in them,” Arthur said again but quieter, bringing John closer against himself. “Did you like it?”</p><p>John gulped and tightened his grip on Arthur’s shoulders as he stared into his hopeful eyes.</p><p>“I did,” he answered with a voice quivering with excitement and watched in anticipation as Arthur slowly leaned closer.</p><p>He was moving almost too slow but John was too captivated to yank him closer himself. He was rewarded for his patience soon enough when Arthur closed his eyes and pressed his lips against John’s.</p><p>It was just that, not even a kiss but a press of lips and yet it left John breathless like one and made him feel like there was a whole flock of eagles in his stomach. He fluttered his eyes closed as well and pressed his lips back, showing Arthur that it was a welcome connection. Their bodies flush together but the difference of temperatures didn’t seem to exist at the moment, just their closeness and the blissful feeling of finally being connected like that. </p><p>Arthur released a quiet gasp when he separated their mouth, a sound that skillfully tugged at John’s heartstrings like a virtuoso. They opened their eyes and looked at each other. John felt dizzy, like he was drunk but judging by Arthur’s clouded eyes, he wasn't the only one. He licked his lips, shivering when he tasted the merman on them.</p><p>“I liked it very much,” John said in a whisper, still a little breathless. Arthur smiled at him and John smiled back, feeling so goddamn happy his chest felt tight with it.</p><p>His smile only grew and joy increased when Arthur leaned forward again and connected their lips in a second kiss. Grinning into it, John wrapped his arms around the merman’s neck as they got back underwater. He kept his eyes open to watch the still glowing tail but when the light disappeared, John’s eyes closed and he just enjoyed the kiss as he and Arthur sank further into dark waters.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope it was worth the wait! I was so excited to finally post this moment! Our boys can finally be happy like they deserve!</p><p>Oh, here we go, head first and no regrets and no rules<br/>We can stay as long as we want<br/>Slow dancing in the darkness<br/>And all I know is I wanna be here with you from now on.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Firsts Of Many</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the wait but I had to write two other stories in the meantime and work is annoying this month. It's a little shorter chapter than usual but I hope it's still good.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John never felt like this before. He kissed people in the past, few women and one or two men but kissing Arthur was something else and it had nothing to do with the fact that they were underwater and he was losing breath with each second their lips moved against one another slowly, just like the water moving around them.  </p><p>Arthur was a little shy and awkward, he clearly never done this before, never kissed anyone but that was just making it more special. It was their second kiss but more proper than the first and in a way, it felt like the first ever kiss for John too. Because it was the first time he kissed someone who was that important to him. He kissed women that wanted to spend the night with him and he kissed men he slept with but that was just fun, the warmup before the main act. This one was fun and full of held up desire as well but it was also so much more than that. It was about being close, sharing deeper feelings than just lust. John was sure he was feeling this kiss with his whole body, how it vibrated with joy and love he felt for the merman in his arms and with the love Arthur felt for him as well. He could feel that in the kiss, its sweetness, its warmth, in the gentle touch of the merman’s hands. All of that was taking over his body in a form of a pleasant feeling that hugged him like a warm blanket, clouding his mind and making his heart leap in joy.</p><p>They held each other tight and close, hands curiously exploring bodies in front of them. Wherever Arthur touched him, John felt a jolt of electricity in that spot making his whole body shiver. He hoped Arthur was feeling the same when he was touching him back, maybe even stronger because there were no clothes on the merman to dull the sensation.</p><p>John was glad for that because he could finally explore Arthur’s body just like he wanted, without worrying that his touch would be understood wrong or unwelcome. He moved his palms up and down that muscled chest and belly, moaning when the muscles flexed under his fingertips. He grabbed the strong biceps with his fingers, enjoying the hardness he was met with, and wrapped his arms around the wide shoulders, plastering himself against the other body, tempted to wrap this strong tail with his legs, right under the fins that fluttered against his hips every now and then in pleasure.</p><p>One of Arthur’s arms was around John’s body, holding him close and not letting him drift away. His cold hand tugged out the shirt from John’s pants to sneak under, touching his lower back. He should’ve shivered and jumped away from the cold but with the chilly water around them, Arthur’s body was almost burning hot. Or maybe it was the desire in John’s veins that made him feel like that. Either way he trembled in the merman’s hold but because of the completely different reason and kept kissing him back like a starved man, answering to Arthur's own enthusiasm.</p><p>The merman touched John’s cheek with his free hand, cupping it gently and stroking it with the thumb, his lips never stopping kissing. John tilted his head to the side and leaned into the touch, not even slightly scared of those sharp claws being so close to his eye.</p><p>He wasn't scared of drowning either despite his lungs burning a little already. He didn’t care, his entire world right now revolved only around Arthur and their kiss, the soft feeling of their mouths locked together in passion that was leaving John’s lips tingling and carving for more even though Arthur was already pouring so much into that kiss it was making John dizzy.</p><p>His desire grew as his heart started to pump the blood faster, its beats echoing in his ears along with the soothing sound of the ocean surrounding them. That deadly trap he was always scared of was now hiding them from the entire world and letting them have that moment in private, in the complete darkness, far away even from the stars and the moon in the sky.</p><p>It was amazing, breathtaking, like nothing else. John wanted to stay here forever, never let go and experience this blissful feeling for eternity. It already felt like one but he knew it couldn’t be more than a few seconds and they were coming to an end when the need for air became greater than the kiss itself.</p><p>Arthur held him tighter and with his lips still pressed against John’s, he took him to the surface. John separated their mouth and greedily gulped the air between a few coughs that were pulled from his throat. His lungs were on fire, as if thousands of needles were being put into them all at once but the pain was worth it. Worth of that kiss that he could still feel on his lips. Worth of the warm feeling of happiness that settled in his chest. And of that bright smile Arthur was giving him, with a little bit of worry in his eyes, because of course he was worried when John was still sounding like he was going to die.</p><p>The soothing hand running up and down his side helped John concentrate on his breathing and soon enough the coughs died down completely, leaving only soreness in his throat but that he could live with. It wasn't even the center of his attention, Arthur and his arms wrapped around John’s waist were. And the kiss that was still so fresh in his mind it felt like it never stopped.</p><p>He almost resumed it, still not having enough of those sweet lips that tasted even better than he ever imagined or the buzzing feeling that came with them. Arthur was just becoming bolder, more confident, allowing feelings to take over and by god did John felt it. At the end, he was sure the merman was going to devour him, he kissed with so much passion. John only had a glimpse of it and he already wanted more, to get fully lost in it, this time without water to restrain them, restraining him.  </p><p>But there was no rush. Once he leave the water it wouldn’t be over. This wasn't a one time thing with Arthur being just curious like with almost everything else. This was real, genuine and John felt it in every second of that too short kiss, he felt it in every one of Arthur's touch which, while shy, had their intent and reasons. He felt it in the kiss itself because he knew what meaningful kiss felt like and that wasn’t that, it was anything but that. He knew that even without any previous experience of romantic love.</p><p>When John’s breathing got back to normal, he and Arthur looked at each other, their eyes locking instantly. The way the merman was looking at him was overwhelming, it was pure adoration. Arthur was always looking at him with some form of admiration but this felt stronger. Was he holding it back all this time? Because John was sure he wouldn’t have missed something like that. He could be oblivious but never like that. Even an oblivious fool like Bill wouldn’t miss that look so Arthur had to hide it, keep it away from him.</p><p>He held it a secret just like John held his own feelings, allowing some glimpse only here and there to see if they were being reciprocated. All this time he was going through the same struggle as John. Did Arthur imagine kissing him just as many times? Did he dream of him at night, thought of him every second a day? How long had he had those feelings?</p><p>John wanted to ask those questions but he just stared back at the merman, no doubt with as much adoration, finally being able to show it all without fear. If they only didn’t hide it all, this would’ve been over a long time ago. And John almost continued with it for the next few days because he was sure Arthur was overwhelmed with everything that happened the day before.</p><p>Turned out he wasn't and he just got a confirmation of what he probably suspected for a while, just like John. One final push that brought them to the amazing mating dance and two kisses already. It was almost hard to believe it happened because he accidently touched Arthur where he shouldn’t have.</p><p>“I wanted to do this for a while now,” Arthur admitted, finding his voice first. John still didn’t trust his own, his throat was sore and lungs still stung a bit so he let the merman continue as his eyes dropped to John's lips for a short moment. John almost lunged forward to kiss him again then but he was too curious of what Arthur wanted to tell him. “But I didn’t know how humans look at those kinds of relationships.”</p><p>That was what stopped him? Not fear of rejection? That kind of made sense, Arthur was pretty fearless as long as something or someone didn’t have a gun. But was he scared of just that? Not knowing if humans accept homosexuality which apparently was something merpeople were doing? Meanwhile John was afraid of disgusting Arthur, scaring him, losing his friendship or getting himself eaten by him. He supposed it could’ve all been wrapped by what Arthur feared. Because homosexuality was disgusting to some. To others it was scary, sinful and fellas were getting killed for it. So yeah, Arthur was scared of all of that as well, it was given. Except being eaten, John would never do that but he could shoot the merman so either way, he could’ve been scared of death.</p><p>Their friendship was at risk too. Even if some people wouldn’t want to imprison or kill a homosexual, they wouldn’t want to be friends with one as well. Or just with a friend that felt more than friendship towards them.</p><p>Thankfully all their fears turned out to be just that and now they could explore this new relationship freely.</p><p>“You can go for prison for that,” John replied. He wasn't able to look anywhere else but into Arthur’s eyes, still shining so beautifully with happiness. “Or even die. Humans don’t like homosexuality much.”</p><p>He realized Arthur didn’t know the word but the merman quickly connected the dots and understood that they were the homosexuals. “Merpeople don't care,” he said, his fingers playing with the hem of John’s shirt he tugged out earlier. “At least in my colony. It doesn’t matter to them, they’ll sooner hate you for bumping into them and not apologizing than for loving the same sex.”</p><p>“Humans are dumb animals,” John stated, making the merman snort. When Arthur leaned closer, he expected another kiss but his friend only rested their foreheads together. John closed his eyes with him and breathed in, content. This was nice too, just like another kiss would be. They stayed like that for a moment just enjoying the intimacy with the ocean washing against them in gentle waves. John was feeling Arthur’s breath on his lips, reminding him how close they were and how easy it would be to press their mouth together. He never thought one could want a kiss so badly but here he was, starving for it just after one taste. He almost felt ridiculous because of it. Almost, because he couldn’t bring himself to care that he wanted to kiss someone he started to believe could be the love of his life.  </p><p>He opened his eyes and Arthur did the same right after, as if sensing what John did. The adoration was still in the merman’s eyes, still bright and still making John’s brain struggle to work properly. His breath got stuck in his throat for a moment and he felt his cheeks warming up before he got himself back together and decided to finally answer Arthur's words. The merman deserved to know how much it all meant to him as well.</p><p>“I wanted to do that for a while too,” he confessed breathlessly, closing his eyes again for a second. When he reopened them, he hoped there was as much adoration in them as in Arthur’s.</p><p>They didn’t ask each other how long exactly they felt like that. John realized it didn’t really matter right now. They were finally there, both at the same point, with the same desire for the future. Even though they didn’t talk about it yet, John knew it was like that. They would talk later, right now he just wanted to thrive in that new feeling he was experiencing together with the merman.</p><p>This close, he could look into Arthur's eyes like never before. He wished it was day so he could really admire them in a new light along with all this admiration and love he could see in them and which they were replaced by worry suddenly.</p><p>Confused, John looked all over Arthur's face, noticing it wasn’t only his eyes. He wanted to ask what was wrong but the merman was quick to explain.  </p><p>“You don’t mind that I’m a merman?” he asked. He tried to move away but John put his hand on the nape of his neck and held him in place. That was the first sign that he didn’t mind, at all.</p><p>How could Arthur even think so? Didn’t John prove already that Arthur being a different species wasn’t bothering him? Most of the time he wasn’t even thinking about it, Arthur was just someone he cared for dearly, who he was in love with, his best friend. It didn’t matter that he was a merman, he would fall for him regardless. Human or a merman it was still Arthur.</p><p>That didn’t mean he was completely ignoring Arthur being a merman, because he wasn’t. He was very aware of their differences, not only in their looks but the way they grew up too. Their cultures were different too and it didn’t bother him either. He liked that they were from two different worlds and could learn from each other, discover new things, show each other glimpses of those worlds by swimming together or showing Arthur horses.</p><p>John of course worried that those differences that brought them together could be their end too. But he wasn’t going to let it go without a fight first. And he was sure Arthur wouldn’t either. This relationship was too important for both of them.</p><p>“I don’t care,” he assured the merman, moving his fingers through short, wet hair above Arthur's neck. “I fell in love with you as a person.” The only way he could see himself not falling for Arthur was if the merman was raised differently and ended with a different personality than the one he had. John loved his sense of humor, his curiosity, his morality, the passion when he talked about things he loved and how much he cared, and he would love those traits no matter if Arthur was a man, woman or a mermaid. It would still be him no matter what. “Besides, I love your tail too,” he added with a smile that only grew when Arthur blushed and bent his head slightly trying to hide it.</p><p>John chuckled and made him look back up at him again, feeling the said tail wrapping itself around his legs. Grinning he placed a light peck on Arthur's lips who shyly smiled back into the kiss and continued to do so when it ended. God, how he was living without this for so long? Without being able to just kiss the merman whenever he liked? It felt so impossible right now when he could finally do this without any fear of being rejected or losing Arthur's friendship. He was sure he would never get tired of it.</p><p>“Same with me,” he said, brushing his nose against John’s before closing the gap between their lips.</p><p>They both sighed into the kiss. Not being rushed by the lack of air underwater, they could savor the moment this time. They let their lips move lazily, gently, with more brushing than pressing them firmly against one another. Arthur was still learning so John let him lead and just figure out everything on his own, with his own pace while he enjoyed the feeling and this new experience for the merman with him. It was sweet and John couldn’t help but smile into the almost innocent kiss. He never kissed someone this inexperienced and it was flattering that he could be Arthur's first and share this moment with him.</p><p>He was captivated with how Arthur was reacting to all this, how he was slowly becoming more comfortable in exploration of the body in front of him. Even through clothes, his touch was leaving goosebumps on John's skins wherever his fingers traveled. He was shivering when John was doing the same to him, exploring every curve of his muscles trembling so beautifully and becoming so vulnerable under his touch.</p><p>And he wasn't quiet. John adored every hum, purr and sigh Arthur was making whenever John was taking the lead for a second and kissing back a little harder. He waited for those noises and how easily they were making his heart beat with joy. He himself stayed fairly quiet, only breathing harder through his nose. When Arthur nipped gently on his lip, only then John hummed in appreciation and returned the gesture. The merman’s reaction was more intense, he whimpered quietly and pressed closer to him, causing the spark of lust to go through John's body.</p><p>Arthur didn’t make much sounds when he was lost in pleasure yesterday, a sight that was forever immortalized in John’s memory, but that was because he was trying to hide it. Now he wasn't hiding anything and John just knew he would hear more than some pants or even a whimper if he was to touch Arthur like that once again.</p><p>This time John didn’t have a need for more, this was enough, this was perfect, somehow better than the first or even a second kiss. John couldn’t explain it, didn’t know how it was possible. Maybe it was because Arthur already got better at it. Or maybe because it wasn't so overwhelming this time and he could better appreciate the closeness and the rush of affection, how it filled his heart with warmth that almost felt too much or stole the air from his lungs.</p><p>To John, that kiss could once again last forever. It was too good to end it, he was already too addicted to the feeling of Arthur's lips pressed and moving against his to ever want to end it but his body had other ideas. When he wanted to introduce the merman to a deeper kind of kiss, he almost bit himself on the tongue because his teeth were rattling from the cold.</p><p>It was the slow realization of how cold the water really became and Arthur’s naturally chilly skin wasn't helping either. Hating every second of it, John moved away, nearly making a fatal mistake of letting go of Arthur to rub at his arms to warm them up.</p><p>“I think I have enough water for today,” he said to Arthur when the merman looked at him, concerned.  </p><p>“I think so too,” he replied with an amused smile, quickly getting John to the rocks and helping him climb.</p><p>Still feeling cold and dripping wet, John jumped into the shallow water and in a rushed pace walked to the fire to get warm and dry. He couldn’t go back to the camp all wet. Arthur followed him and watched, entertained.</p><p>“I'm glad this is fun to you, you bastard,” John told him while taking off his shirt to hold it closer to the fire. He should bring a towel and leave it in Arthur’s chest for his belongings. He could really use one right now.</p><p>Arthur chuckled. “You’ll live,” the merman assured him, lying down comfortably on the sand.</p><p>“You don’t know what you’re talking about, you cold freak.” God, he felt like he was back in Grizzlies again, freezing to death on the edge of the cliff. He so rarely entered water he wasn't used to how quickly it could cool down a human. “I could die because of the cold.”</p><p>“You talk too much for a dying person.”</p><p>“Go to hell.”</p><p>“You go, isn’t it warm there?”</p><p>John laughed. He had to admit, that was a rather funny reply. His heart started beating faster when Arthur smiled at him, proud of his joke and of making John laugh. “Yeah, it is but I'm trying not to go there by staying warm.”</p><p>“I would hug you,” Arthur offered. “But I’m too cold.”</p><p>“Thanks.” He would really like for Arthur to cuddle him now. “I’ll bring the blanket so I don't have to feel your cold skin while hugging you. Usually it doesn’t bother me tho so maybe I don’t need one.”</p><p>Arthur couldn’t help by hugging him but he could add wood to the fire and make it bigger. Despite it being night, it was still warm in California so it didn’t take that long for John to get better or have his clothes dry a little. His pants were made from thicker material so they were still wet and now also with a lot of sand on them but the shirt was good and even warm when he put it back on his dried off body. It was time to go home.</p><p>Goodbyes for the day were already hard but now they were even worse. John clutched tight to Arthur who wasn’t eager to let go off him either. They were finally allowed to do things they dreamed of for so long and they had to stop for the night. John wasn’t even tired or sleepy, he could stay all night just kissing and holding Arthur and do it during the whole next day as well. He felt as if he didn’t need anything more to live than just kissing the merman but as his body proved already, it was completely wrong.</p><p>So while he wasn’t sleepy despite not sleeping well last night, he should probably go back to camp, if not for himself, then for his friends who were probably worried already.</p><p>“I’ll be back tomorrow as soon as I can,” he promised to the merman, sealing it with a kiss over his gills. Arthur gasped and shivered slightly in his hold.</p><p>“You better,” he answered and kissed John as well, choosing his cheek over the neck. “Goodnight.”</p><p>John smiled when he felt those lips against his blushing skin. “Goodnight,” he whispered back, his heart already filling with sadnss</p><p>Reluctantly, they moved away from each other and John stood up, taking a few steps back. He felt like his pants were filled with rocks, it was this hard to take each step but he knew he had to leave now or otherwise he would never leave.</p><p>Arthur watched him smiling but there was sadness in his gaze. The merman didn’t want him to go and John was sure that if he could, Arthur would follow him right now.</p><p>With each step it was harder to see each other, John had to squint his eyes really hard to still see Arthur’s shape at the edge of the water. It wasn't a problem for long though because suddenly the merman’s tail glowed with blue light just like underwater, making him visible to John who gasped at the sight.</p><p>He wasn't ready to see it again. Nor was he used to the beauty that was Arthur's tail like that. In a way it was worse than not seeing the merman, because now he couldn’t turn his eyes away, he didn’t want to do that but he knew he would have to eventually.</p><p>Climbing back up took forever and when he felt the brush of the branches behind him, he jumped startled, so focused on Arthur he forgot his surroundings. With one last look at the merman, John forced himself to turn around and disappear from his sight.</p><p>He was already missing Arthur. It felt ridiculous but he couldn’t help it. He wanted to get back and stay the whole night, spend it on kissing and talking. He climbed Old Boy before he could do that and with a heavy feeling in his chest, he left the forest heading back to the camp.</p><p>Despite unwilling separation for the night, John smiled the whole way back. The happiness he was feeling was too big to get overthrown by the sadness that seemed meek in compression. After all, he and Arthur were going to see each other the next day, they didn’t say goodbye forever. The thrill of tomorrow was already there, he couldn’t wait for it to come, to see Arthur and his big grin again, kiss him, hold him close.</p><p>Riding felt amazing in that state, he almost didn’t want to dismount and just keep riding but Old Boy deserved the rest so instead of avoiding the camp he rode in, perfectly aware of grinning like a loony person and not caring a bit if someone would notice.</p><p>“There we are, boy,” he said to his horse while getting off his back. Old Boy snorted and looked at him when John gave him a few pats on the shoulder. “You can rest now, you need strength to get me to the bay tomorrow as fast as possible.”</p><p>If Old Boy was a human, John was sure he would roll his eyes at him right now. The judging look in them was enough though. “I know,” he said softly. All the noises in the camp were coming from the fire or bedrolls and tents so he was alone right now but he didn’t want to risk it. “I’m a silly man, you don’t have to judge me.”</p><p>Old Boy shook his head, making John laugh softly. He fed the gelding with a sugar cube before starting to take a saddle from him. Ha barely unfastened the belts around his belly when he was interrupted.</p><p>“Marston, come join us!” Javier shouted. “We have a whisky bottle with your name on it!”</p><p>Others sitting with already drunk Javier laughed at that. John smiled too, which wasn’t hard considering he never stopped but his friends wanting him to join was bringing him joy that fueled an already big bubble of it growing in his chest.</p><p>“I have to take care of Old Boy first!” he shouted back. They probably woke up some people with this conversation and he felt bad immediately after his reply.</p><p>“Just wake up O’Driscoll Boy and come!” It was Bill this time.</p><p>John could do that, Kieran wasn’t sleeping far, he was probably already awake because of that shouting but John still didn’t want to disturb him. He was in a too good mood to ruin it for others. If anything, he wanted to make everyone feel happy like him, do some good for the people. He never felt like that, he helped folks in the past and liked it, sure, but this felt different, like he was a completely new person.</p><p>Love could do strange things to people, he mused to himself and started humming some happy tune as he continued getting Old Boy ready to rest. Once his horse happily joined other steeds, John went to his tent to put away his own stuff before joining his friends. When he was leaving, he almost bumped into Mary-Beth dressed only in her nightgown.</p><p>“Oh, sorry,” he said and grinned at her. His cheeks were starting to hurt from all that smiling, he was sure he was blushing too but they were standing so far away from any lantern that it was impossible to notice. Not that he cared if Mary-Beth would see. “Didn’t mean to bump into you.”</p><p>“It’s fine, I shouldn’t have stood so close,” she replied, smiling back at him. “I assume everything went well?”</p><p>“Yeah,” he answered, blushing even harder.</p><p>Mary-Beth’s smile grew as she looked at him proudly. “I told you everything would be alright,” she reminded him. “I’m glad you and your sweetheart are okay. It was so heartbreaking to watch you so miserable.”</p><p>“I’m usually ain’t like that,” John admitted and returned to his tent. He was going to give Mary-Beth her gift in the morning but since she was there, he could do that now.</p><p>“You’ve never been in love before,” Mary-Beth pointed out, watching him curiously. “What’s that?”</p><p>She couldn’t see the necklace yet, just the bow hanging from John’s closed palm.</p><p>John should’ve felt nervous but he wasn’t. He felt brave and confident as if he drank too much bear and now couldn’t tell what was a stupid idea or when he should feel ashamed. He wasn’t even exaggerating, usually when he was this giddy, it was because he was drunk. But he didn’t drink anything yet, he was just so stupidly in love his body and mind didn’t know the difference.  </p><p>At least he wasn't falling on his face with every step and he didn’t have to worry about a headache the next morning. Only his chest felt a little tight because his heart was pulling him towards the bay. He wondered if Arthur had the same problem as him or if he was having more luck with surviving the night.</p><p>“Uh, a gift,” he said and showed her the necklace. “I… <em> We </em> wanted to thank you for what you did. I know you just helped me to go to my sweetheart faster than I was probably ready for but it meant a lot to both of us,” he explained with a big gratitude. Mary-Beth listened to him with fondness in her eyes. “We um… We admitted our feelings to each other and…”</p><p>Mary-Beth put a hand on the gift but didn’t take it, instead, she grabbed his hand and squeezed gently, wary of breaking the shell. “You don’t have to tell me anything,” she assured, amused. “I'm glad you confessed and that you’re happy again. That’s all I wanted.” John nodded, his throat a little tight with emotions. He became so sensitive because of the happiness. If Mary-Beth noticed he was touched by her words, she didn’t comment. She took her hand away and looked at the necklace. “Did she make it?”</p><p>“We did it together.” He blushed remembering how little impute he had in this. “Well, she did most of the work by getting the shell and making the way for the bow. Which was the only thing I provided.”</p><p>“It’s so pretty,” his friend said and turned back. “Put in on me, will you?”</p><p>“Aren’t you going to sleep?” John asked but did what she asked.</p><p>“Those idiots woke me up when you got back,” she explained, nodding her head towards the fire. “I may as well stay awake with them. And brag about my new necklace.”</p><p>John felt flutter in his stomach, glad that Mary-Beth liked the gift. He would tell Arthur tomorrow.</p><p>Gently, he tied the bow around her neck and then she turned around. The shell looked a little silly, maybe on a mermaid it would look good and fitting but John couldn’t imagine the same working for Mary-Beth, either dressed in a nightgown or a normal dress.</p><p>“Sorry it’s not a real thing,” he said quickly. “I actually wanted to steal you a gold one with some pretty stone in it but Ar… my sweetheart said handmade would be better.”</p><p>Shit, he almost said Arthur's name. Mary-Beth didn’t react thankfully.</p><p>“You don’t have to apologize, it’s perfect, I love it,” she said, watching the shell. “I never had a necklace like that. Thank you, John.”</p><p>She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek.</p><p>“No, thank you,” he said back, taking her hand in his. “You have no idea how much I‘m grateful for your help.”</p><p>“You would get there on your own,” she said, confident. “But you’re welcome.”</p><p>They smiled at each other and it was a clear cue to go join the others. Only John had one more thing to say.  </p><p>“Listen, you didn’t tell anyone about this, do you?” he asked, dreading the answer a bit.</p><p>“Of course not.”</p><p>John nodded, relieved. “Can you keep it that way? I know everyone already knows but I want to keep her a secret.”</p><p>It was probably pointless to hide the truth any longer but he didn’t want to take any risk.</p><p>“Sure, my lips are sealed,” she promised and took his wrist, tugging gently at him. “Come on, let’s go have some fun. I know it’s a secret but you can celebrate anyway.”</p><p>“Yeah,” he agreed and followed her. He wasn’t going to drink. Happiness and drunkenness wasn’t the best combination when you try to keep your romance a secret but at the same time you want nothing more but to brag about it to anyone who is willing to listen and those who aren’t.</p><p>The others shouted in joy at their sight. Javier, Bill, Lenny, Pearson, Sean, Uncle and Karen were sitting around the fire. John was glad that Micah wasn’t among them but at the same time he was sad Charles and Sadie were missing as well. Two of them had to be on guard duty. Tilly would be welcome too, Tilly was always fun. Swanson was part of the company as well at some point but right now he passed out on his bedroll.</p><p>“Well damn,” Uncle said once John and Mary-Beth took their seats in the free space on the ground. “Forget being quiet about the subject, ladies and gentlemen. This grin is even worse than the last one and I’m tired of pretending I don’t see anything.” The rest of the group, clearly drunk already, loudly agreed with him. “John Marston really found himself a lady out in the always sunny California!”</p><p>Another cheers from the others. John blushed under the attention and assumptions but even that didn’t stop him from grinning. If aching muscles in his face couldn’t do that, a bunch of drunk fools couldn’t either.</p><p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about, old man,” he replied, still pretending. Clearly the first time it didn’t work since his friends’ interest spiked anyway but what else could he do? Because of Lenny alone he had to lie, to him there was no girl, just a really good friend named Arthur. Mary-Beth knew about love John felt and how serious he was about it but she didn’t know who he was in love with, she thought it was a woman. And John made them both keep what they knew a secret so right now he was fairly safe. He expected an increase in joking now but as long as he was denying the existence of a lover, his friends shouldn’t want to meet her.</p><p>In an ideal world it would work but he knew he was already screwed, he was buying only a little bit of time, just enough to come up with an excuse that would keep Arthur safe.</p><p>He wasn’t doing it just because of that. If he was going to show they weren't going to pull anything from him, he could keep Arthur just for himself. Because otherwise he would have to talk about him as a woman and he wasn’t ready for that. He didn’t want to share yet, even if just talking about the merman without great details.</p><p>“Don’t play with us, boy!” Uncle insisted, pointing a bottle at him. “You either stole a lot of money or you’re in love. Because only two things can put such a dumb smile on a man’s face. Money and a woman.”</p><p>Or a very handsome merman, John thought to himself. “Maybe I stole a lot of money,” he said, leaning back on his hands. “You don’t know.”</p><p>“There is no way a Golden Boy wouldn’t go to Dutch with it right away,” Bill said, sounding surprisingly smart. “He wasn’t happy with you lately, you would like to please him.”</p><p>Javier saved him from answering to that. “Wow, Bill, when you get so smart?” he laughed and patted the bigger man on the arm. “You should drink more, brother. It's good for your brain.”</p><p>Bill growled and pushed Javier’s hands away, completely forgetting what he was saying. But others didn’t.</p><p>“You clearly had some fun today, don’t even deny it, Scar Face,” Sean said accusingly. “That’s a face of a man that saw a wonder that is a woman’s cunt!”</p><p>Next to Sean, Karen snickered while the rest of the drunk company laughed. They were having too much fun with it and they weren't even right.</p><p>“I slept with no one,” John assured, happy that he didn’t even have to lie. Actually, the fact that Arthur was a man was helping him greatly. Everyone assumed he had a woman so whenever they would ask about her, they wouldn’t be able to sense any lie.</p><p>“Sure, and I'm a bloody queen of England!” Sean spat into the fire. “Cut the crap, Marston.”</p><p>“I swear I didn’t sleep with anybody,” he repeated, amused by how he irritated others with his denies.</p><p>“But you have a woman,” Pearson pointed out, happy as he just caught John lying.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“A whore then,” Bill suggested.</p><p>“I don’t need to pay to sleep with anybody,” John chuckled.</p><p>“I wouldn’t sleep with you even for a hundred dollars,” Javier joked, making everyone laugh as well.</p><p>But the biggest fun had Lenny. He didn’t say anything, just listened to everyone trying to coax John into talking about his woman, knowing there was none just like John was saying. It didn’t occur to him that the rest of the gang might be right and John was in love only it wasn’t a woman.</p><p>John didn’t blame him, no one in their right man would suspect that their friend is an invert. It wasn’t surprising Lenny didn’t think of that too. Unless someone would be caught in an act, people usually forgot homosexuality even exists.</p><p>It went on and on. Nobody believed him when he kept repeating that there was no woman in his life. They didn’t believe him because he was still smiling more happily than he should. It would’ve probably gone on longer if Karen didn’t change the subject.</p><p>“Where did you get that necklace, Mary-Beth?” she asked.</p><p>Everyone looked at the girl sitting next to John and stared at the gift around her neck. Mary-Beth grabbed it gently and lifted it to show it better. “John gave it to me,” she explained with an innocent smile.</p><p>She must’ve known how that sounded in a current situation and what it would cause. And it caused silence among everyone. Their friends looked at Mary-Beth in various states of shocks but the biggest had to be the one on Karen’s face, whose mouth was open and she couldn’t speak a word despite wanting to.</p><p>“Are you telling me you and him…” she stuttered finally.</p><p>“No, no, no”, Javier said quickly. Mary-Beth giggled. “It’s impossible! Marston went away in the morning and Mary-Beth was in the camp the whole day. I played on my guitar next to her while she read. There is no chance she left the camp at any point to meet with John.”</p><p>“That’s true, and later she was helping me prepare the stew,” Pearson confirmed.</p><p>“And I saw her a couple of times while she worked with Grimshaw and Tilly,” Sean added and turned to Karen. “You would’ve seen her too if you didn’t laze around all day.”</p><p>“Shut your mouth, you Irish bastard,” she hissed at him. “You’re the most lazy person in the whole gang!”</p><p>“No I ain’t! I work.”</p><p>“On getting into my bed, maybe!”</p><p>It was a bad idea to laugh at that one. Others laughed too but his laugh was too characteristic to not be heard over others, bringing the attention back to him again.</p><p>“Why did you get Mary-Beth a necklace, Marston?” Bill asked with a sneer. “That Kieran boy will be jealous, he will try to murder you in your sleep.”</p><p>“It’s just a simple gift, boys, don’t try to make it into something it ain’t,” Mary-Beth calmed everyone.</p><p>“It’s still suspicious,” Uncle pointed out. John wasn’t afraid he would discover the truth, he was too lazy for that, he would get bored eventually. “But it’s clearly not Mary-Beth John is sweet on.”</p><p>“Is my love life really that interesting to you?” John asked, really surprised they were that invested. He imagined till now they were only exchanging silly jokes about that, no actually wondering who was his lover.</p><p>“So you’re saying you have one!” Sean noticed, smiling triumphantly.</p><p>“I didn’t say that,” John reminded him and stood up, finally feeling tiredness getting to him after those two exhausting days. “You all better go to town and sleep with someone because you clearly need it. Now if you excuse me, I’m going to bed.”</p><p>“She must be something if she tired you out, eh?” Javier asked and cackled.</p><p>John just shook his head at him and left the party earlier than he anticipated but he was really tired. He was yawning almost all the time while he was getting ready to bed, undressing to his underwear. He wished he could stay by the fire and tell everyone how happy he was feeling, how much he was in love. He was sure his friends would keep making fun of him but he didn’t care, he wanted to share his joy with someone, anyone but it was impossible. He could try to hide any details pointing at Arthur’s sex or what he was but John was afraid he would let the truth slip at some point and he wasn’t going to risk that.</p><p>Whether he liked it or not he had to enjoy his love alone while in the camp because in the bay he had Arthur, who was the reason for him to feel that way.</p><p>He thought of the merman while getting into bed and during falling asleep, never really stopping smiling.</p><p>Tomorrow morning couldn’t arrive any slower.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The boys are finally together and they'll have a longer talk about their feelings in the next chapter. Let's take it slow for now, drama and angst can wait for now 😏</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Little Shark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning, this chapter is almost pure fluff. Ask your dentist if it's safe before proceeding.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John felt a little silly standing in the middle of his tent and getting dressed in his best clothes. It was nothing fancy, just a nice, clean shirt, vest and pants that didn’t have any holes in them. He only ever wore them once, on the day he bought them. He saw them on the display on the window and he liked them, so he entered and bought his size without really thinking about where he would use it one day. Because outlaws usually didn’t need to dress nicely while robbing folks and for some fancy parties he had a suit, not a simple shirt and pants.</p><p>Now he was grateful for this spontaneous purchase because he could look the best for Arthur. He already washed earlier, with the first rays of the sun, his hair was still a little wet but he brushed it so it wouldn’t stand in every direction and now he was dressing himself, hoping that he looked good. He was too embarrassed to ask one of the girls for a mirror and check.</p><p>But he thought he did a good job cleaning up himself. He bought all of the clothes a while ago but his posture didn’t change significantly, the gorgeous red shirt was still lying great on him and black pants hugged his legs nicely, showing off how slim and long they were. While he couldn’t be sure if Arthur even liked this part of his body, John hoped his ass looked great too. </p><p>A wolf whistle coming from behind him indicated that it was. Blushing, John turned around and looked at Sadie standing in the entrance to his tent, watching him from up and down.</p><p>“Damn, Marston, you look mighty fine,” she said, impressed and crossed her arms over her chest, smirking. “And I didn’t believe when boys told me you had a little rendezvous yesterday.”</p><p>Blush on John’s face deepened as he looked away, down at his fingers buttoning the black vest he just put on. “There was no rendezvous,” he denied, knowing it was pointless at this point.</p><p>Sadie uncurled her arms and fixed the gun on her shoulder. It was so early she just left her guarding post she was on the whole night with Charles, that’s why he didn’t see them with others. “Fine, tête-à-tête then,” she corrected herself.</p><p>“Didn’t know you are such a polyglot, Mrs. Adler,” he changed the subject quickly.</p><p>Sadie didn’t catch the bait. “Sure, hide behind jokes,” she snorted. “That won’t help you. By this point, the whole of California knows what you are up to.”</p><p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he admitted dumbly as he dealt with the last, shiny button. There. Now boots.</p><p>John walked to his bed and picked up his footwear along with a small rag and started cleaning them from dust and dirt.</p><p>“You’re good at acting like an idiot.” Sadie walked in front of him but he didn’t raise his head to meet her gaze. Not only because he didn’t want her to see his stupid grin, but also because he wanted to clean his boots as fast as possible and go to the bay. “But not that good,” she finished, knowing that he was still listening. “Especially not all dressed up like that.”</p><p>John spread his hands in an indifferent way. “Maybe I just wanted a change?” he suggested and returned to cleaning. He could use some polish paste, maybe Dutch had some.</p><p>“You sometimes go without a wash for days if not weeks. For the short time I know you I’ve always seen you with mud on your pants, with torn shirts and union suit. One union suit, because god forbid you all to have a spare to change and wash them regularly.” John rolled his eyes. Why buy more union suits when one was usually enough? Women and their need to wash every day. “So sorry if I find it hard to believe that you suddenly decided to wear clean clothes just like that, for no reason.”</p><p>“I had a reason, I wanted to wear clean clothes,” he explained innocently.</p><p>Sadie snorted again. “You look good by the way,” she mentioned again but it sounded more sincere than the first time when she was probably going for teasing. “I’m sure she’ll appreciate it.”</p><p>John bit into his lower lips, holding himself from asking for confirmation. And denying, which was all Sadie needed to confirm what all of the camp already knew. Silently, he continued cleaning his boots while Sadie yawned and moved to leave, wishing him good day.</p><p>“Have a good sleep,” he answered her. Sadie raised her hand to let him know she heard him right before she let the flap to the tent fall behind her, giving him some privacy.</p><p>John smiled stupidly at his boots. Sadie said he looked good. He really hoped she was right and Arthur would appreciate his efforts to look nice for him. If he would, John would have to buy more clean clothes to keep impressing the merman.</p><p>When he was done cleaning his boots, he took care of spurs as well. The last time they were this shiny was when he bought them two years ago. They didn’t look perfect when he fastened them around his boots, from up close he could still see scratches on the metal and they were a little rusty but he was barefoot most of the time he was at the bay anyway.</p><p>Still, he wanted to look the best for his… lover.</p><p>John could feel his face hitting up again and his lips curling in another smile. He was sure he stopped smiling in his sleep last night, or at least stopped doing it so widely but now he was back to that. The glee of yesterday didn’t go anywhere in those few hours and the giddy feeling was still wrapped tightly around his heart, even stronger than yesterday because in just an hour or so, he was going to see Arthur again.</p><p>It was a little hard to believe they were together now. Just yesterday morning John felt like what they already got was coming to an end but it actually got better. He hoped for it, wished for it, but never actually believed it would happen. What were the chances that another man, and not only that, a completely different species, a merman, would reciprocate his feelings? Surely not high.</p><p>But it happened and what John dreamed of wasn’t just that anymore, some dreams. It was a reality. Arthur returned his feelings, he made the first move and now John had someone for the first time in his life. He never thought about finding someone much, he lived for the gang, recklessly and daringly, ready to die from a bullet at any given moment. He wouldn’t want to put a loved one through the pain of losing him in a gun fight or a robbery gone wrong, no one deserved that. So he never imagined having someone by his side, settling down outside of the gang. And even if he did he certainly wouldn’t imagine finding that someone in the ocean and being a merman.</p><p>Yet here he was, getting ready for a rendezvous with one, nervous and excited as if it was their first meeting. Because of the change in their relationship, it surely felt like something new. He wondered if Arthur was feeling the same right now. Was his heart beating as fast as John’s when thinking about seeing him, kissing him hello? Was he getting ready in his own way, making himself look nicely? Not that he needed that, Arthur was already a sight to behold.</p><p>Grinning, he put his hat on, the only not fitting part of his wardrobe. He could buy a new one, a clean one but he rather liked this one, he had it for years now and it fitted him perfectly. This hat, along with his gun and a horse, was probably his biggest pride, just as it should be. In that way, outlaws and cowboys were similar, both took pride in all those three things and John was no different.</p><p>Thankfully Arthur liked his hat no matter how it looked. And his scars, which weren’t making him look good either but there was no way for him to remove them. At least they weren’t looking so red and swollen like at the beginning, with each day they were looking better and better. If he knew Arthur and his miraculous seaweed earlier, he would probably have faint lines on his face at this point.</p><p>You can’t have everything, he thought to himself as he put his gun belt around his hips and slipped a satchel over his head. He was almost ready, all that was left was a horseshoe he put on his bedside table earlier to not forget to take it. It was a horseshoe of his very first horse, he kept it believing it would bring him luck. He wanted to give it to Arthur, maybe it would bring him luck too since it already did to John, putting the merman in his life.</p><p>Smiling, John put the horseshoe in the satchel and finally left the tent, grabbing the saddle that was resting on a post near the entrance. He thought about cleaning it and Old Boy as well but he wasn’t planning on bringing the horse down to the bay so there was no need to. He didn’t have time anyway, it was already 7 and he needed to see his merman.</p><p>His merman. John’s heart filled with warmth at the thought. It sounded so good, even if just in his mind.</p><p>Some of the gang members were giving him knowing looks when he was saddling Old Boy, especially those who were sitting by the fire last night and witnessed his stupid smiles and lovestruck expression. Thankfully they didn’t approach to tease him or try to make him admit where he was going.</p><p>Mary-Beth, just like Sadie earlier, gazed all over him and with a slight nod, she approved his choice of clothes. Tilly and Abigail standing next to her seemed to like his outfit as well and Karen just winked at John, making him blush.</p><p>Dutch watched John from his tent too. John almost expected the leader to walk to him and demand from him to bring money to the camp, it’s been a while since the last donation. But the older man remained in place and just kept watching John. It was hard to tell what Dutch was thinking right now, if he was approving or not.</p><p>John didn’t have that problem with Micah who was standing in the shadow casted by a three like some creep. John couldn’t read his expression because of that but he felt the disapproval in the man’s gaze. For some reason, Micah wasn’t happy with him leaving. Which was strange because he just shouldn’t care. He didn’t like John, why did he care where he was going and to who?</p><p>John was confused and with no time to ponder about it. Because unlike Micah, he didn’t care about the other man and what was sitting in his head. Whatever it was, John had no interest in it, he had better things to do or to think about, and he wasn’t going to let Micah ruin his day.</p><p>He finished preparing Old Boy quickly to not be subjected to Micah’s gaze anymore and left, stopping himself from galloping right away to not seem too eager to the others. Not that it was changing anything, they knew, they all knew but maybe there would be less jokes about it that way.</p><p>Only when he was sure he was out of the seeing or hearing range of the gang, he actually made Old Boy go faster, fast as if the bear or the law was chasing them. John couldn’t wait any longer to see Arthur again, his stupid smile and those shinning eyes. He couldn’t wait to feel the cold of his skin and gentles of the touch.</p><p>The closer to the bay they were, the bigger the grin on John’s face was. He never knew it was possible to feel this happy, this carefree. He felt light on the heart and mind as he galloped through empty roads. The day was beautiful and sunny, as if it was doing everything to fit his mood right now. And he really felt like a sunny day inside.</p><p>They slowed down in the forest and John already missed the rush of air on his face and in his hair. Old Boy’s mane fell over his neck as well as the horse walked among the trees, carrying his rider towards their destination, towards Arthur.</p><p>“I bet you miss him too,” John said to the gelding and patted his neck. “Especially those treats he always wants to give you. He spoils you.” Old Boy neighed softly. John chuckled. “You want some now, mister?” he asked, recognizing they were close. He knew all those trees leading to Arthur by heart by now. They were really close. “I can give you some but forget about Arthur. I ain’t ready to share him yet.”</p><p>Old Boy neighed again and John took it as a protest from the gelding. He chuckled again and excitedly jumped off the saddle when they arrived. It was easy to recognize the area by the path leading to the bay, Old Boy ate all the grass around, he had barely anything to eat here and the horse was too good at taking orders to wander away too far. Stealing a wagon and some hay to put here didn’t seem like a bad idea. Deer would have something to eat too.</p><p>“Alright, boy.” John hoisted the saddle from Old Boy’s back with a grunt and put it in the bushes. Before covering it, he pulled out some oatcakes and fed the gelding more than he would usually do. “You deserve it, you bring me here every day and never complain.” Old Boy snorted happily, munching on his treat while John stroked his mane. “And if you weren't such a coward I wouldn’t even know about this place so thank you.”</p><p>Old Boy finished his treat and looked at him with his gentle eyes. Smiling at him, John took his muzzle into his hands and kissed the gelding on the nose. “Love you, boy.”</p><p>His horse answered with his own kiss, easily seizing his mouth and nose at the same time with his lips and licking. John snorted and moved away to not get covered with horse saliva. “You’re disgusting,” he said to Old Boy who huffed quickly a few times before following him. “Ah, ah, you stay here,” John ordered. Old Boy stopped immediately. “I’ll bring you back to Arthur soon, I'm sure he will be happy but today is about me and him.”</p><p>With one last pat, John left towards the path and started going down with a heart pounding in his chest. His whole body was practically shaking with excitement and he couldn’t even contain himself, he didn’t want to, he liked that feeling, the feeling of being in love and happy. He never wanted to not be in that state, even if it was making him look dumb to other people. He didn’t care, he felt good and he wasn't ashamed of it.</p><p>Brushing the branches away from his line of sight was so satisfying, and when he spotted Arthur right after that, John felt like the whole day just got brighter. The merman was floating on his back in deeper waters and he immediately noticed John too, no doubt waiting for him. Even from afar John spotted a big grin on Arthur's face as he turned on his front and quickly swam towards the rock belt in the middle.</p><p>Grinning back, John hurried down as well, skipping the last few inches of the path and jumping down, his heart beating even faster now with how close to the merman he was. But not close enough.</p><p>Arthur leaned against the rocks and stayed in the water, watching as John got rid of his clean boots that no doubt had sand on it already after that not so gentle jump. It didn’t matter, John had his eyes only on the merman who waited not so patiently for him to join, his tail moving nervously right under the surface.</p><p>John’s legs moved on their own, stepping into the warm water and walking through it, fighting the resistance it was putting, stopping him from getting to his merman any faster. When John finally reached him, he didn’t even think twice about kissing him, just grabbed Arthur’s face and pressed their lips together, already feeling a shiver running through his body at the contact and how the merman shivered too.</p><p>Taking John’s vest in his hand, Arthur pulled him closer and enthusiastically pressed his lips back, still grinning, they both were. It was hard to call it a kiss yet they did nothing to change that, they just relished in their closeness and that they could do just that, kiss like that whenever they wanted. Because they could, they were a couple and wanted to kiss, and nothing was stopping them anymore.</p><p>Slowly they moved away an inch or two and looked at each other. Arthur’s eyes were shining and his lips were slightly parted. John sighed in wonder, feeling butterflies in his stomach at this sight. “Hi,” he whispered, resting his forehead against Arthur's just like yesterday.</p><p>The merman chuckled, closing his eyes in a bliss for a moment. When he opened them, they were full of love. “Hi,” he said and they both chuckled this time.</p><p>If people were to see them right now, they would probably laugh, call them silly. John felt silly himself, he was sure that was how young people acted around their first love, not two grown men but to be honest, he liked feeling this silly and didn’t mind it even one bit. Not when it was Arthur causing him to act that way.</p><p>John brushed Arthur's pink cheeks with his thumbs before slipping both hands from his face and resting them on the rock between their bodies where Arthur's hands were already, scratching at the surface of the stone, either with excitement or nervousness. Or both. John surely felt both of these emotions, it was new for him too, they had the right to be nervous. But John had never been happier as well and that was making everything else worth it.  </p><p>It seemed like forever before any of them looked away from each other’s eyes. Arthur dropped his gaze down, looking at his clothes and John froze, waiting to hear what he had to say about this, if anything. When the merman’s eyes were back on his they were sparkling with mischief and a small smirk played on his lips. </p><p>“You didn’t have to dress all nicely for me,” Arthur teased, his grin growing when he noticed blush on John’s cheek.</p><p>“Who says it’s for you?” he asked with a huff, trying to hide his embarrassment. “Maybe I felt fancy today?”</p><p>Arthur snorted. “Yeah, I believe you,” he said, giving John an amused look that only deepened his blush. “The man who is only ever clean after I force him into water.”</p><p>His face was burning, John could feel it. “Shut up,” he hissed. It was stupid idea to dress up like that. Arthur was a merman, he didn’t care about clothes, why would he like what John was dressed in?</p><p>“Hit the sore spot?” Arthur teased further before his expression softened. “You look nice,” he admitted, sporting a faint blush of his own.</p><p>John looked shyly at him, his heart filling with joy. “Yeah?” He hoped Arthur wasn't pitying him right now. “I know it’s silly but I wanted to look nice for you.”</p><p>“It’s not silly,” Arthur assured and moved a little to climb on the rocks, that delicious, muscled body dripping with water. “I cleaned my tail for you too.”</p><p>John let out a surprised laugh, the worry and embarrassment leaving him with it.</p><p>“You did?”</p><p>Arthur nodded and flicked the end of the tail, spreading the fin at the end. “Spend an hour on it.”</p><p>On normal days, the tail was already beautiful so John was actually surprised he was seeing differences now. They weren't big but he spent enough time around Arthur and staring at his tail he noticed how it had none of loose scales that were sometimes sticking out, ready to fall off, no seaweed stuck between them. The lovely blue color seemed sparkier too, reflecting the light like a clear water.</p><p>“It looks really beautiful,” he said, looking deep into the merman’s eyes.</p><p>Arthur blushed and smiled at him happily. “Come on,” he urged John and slipped from the rocks into the water. “We don’t want to get your fancy clothes wet now, do we?” he asked and gently hit the surface with his fin.</p><p>John chuckled when a few of the droplets hit him all over. He followed Arthur who swam slow enough that John could keep up with him on the way to the beach. Watching the merman swim was always a great sight to see so John didn’t even think about turning left and getting on land to walk the rest of the distance. Instead he struggled in a knee deep water with Arthur swimming on his back to John’s right and watching him smiling. John smiled back, not remembering the time when he smiled as much as lately. One thing he was certain of, he wasn’t tired of this yet. Or of that happy feeling that hadn’t left him since yesterday evening.</p><p>When they reached the beach, they took their usual places at the edge of the water. The legs of John’s pants were already wet but he still rolled them up to better feel the warm water of the bay. And Arthur’s tail that found its way to his legs and brushed gently against his calves before settling over them.</p><p>It was weird that despite everything that happened the other day, it didn’t feel like anything changed between them since last time. They sat close like always, except now John had the urgent need to grab Arthur's hand in his and hold it. Just because he felt like it.</p><p>He wanted to do it, their palms were right next to each other, all he needed to do was reach for it but he felt nervous all of sudden. It’s like it just hit him that this was it, they were actually together and he had no idea how to act, what was acceptable, not only in human society, but merpeople’s as well.</p><p>He didn’t want to mess it up all now by being inappropriate. Or just by doing something that Arthur didn’t want. What if the merman didn’t want his hand to be held? He could get angry at John for taking it.</p><p>Realistically, John knew that even if Arthur wouldn’t like it, he wouldn’t get furious over it and just explained that he didn’t like it for one reason or another. But that wasn’t helping John with his fear of being rejected. He was surprised he so boldly kissed Arthur as a greeting, no questions asked, he just saw the merman and he couldn’t contain his happiness of seeing him so he just had to go and kiss him.</p><p>But that was something he already knew Arthur enjoyed, he wasn’t sure about hand holding. But John wasn't going to let it stop him from trying, because he really needed the merman’s hand in his.</p><p>He wasn’t bold with it like with a kiss, it was actually silly how shy and nervous he was about that, how fast his heart was beating when he slowly shifted his palm closer to Arthur, who didn’t seem to notice what was happening because he stared right ahead with a content smile on his lips.</p><p>John took a deep breath and turned his gaze to him, watching the reaction on Arthur's face as he gently brushed the merman’s palm with his pinky. He did it so gently he was afraid Arthur didn’t even feel it but then a very sharp, pointy claw moved across his finger and stayed there.</p><p>Looking down, John smiled at their joined hands and moved his to properly grasp Arthur’s. He laced their fingers together and squeezed merman’s palm gently, getting a squeeze back right away. Their hands looked good like this and John looked up at Arthur, discovering the merman was already looking at him, the previous smile replaced by a pleased grin.</p><p>John squeezed his hand again, loving its weight in his. He never thought holding someone’s hand would feel so good but it was. It felt really good and filled his body with a new wave of happiness that felt almost tight in the chest.  </p><p>“You know,” he started, surprised how dry his mouth felt. “I never expected to fall for a merman. Or for anyone really. Love life ain’t for outlaws like me and I was fine with that. Or so I thought till you came around.”</p><p>It was something that didn’t appear even if his strangest dreams and those could be really strange sometimes. But could anyone expect something like that? Merpeople were just legends, myths, silly stories shared by sailors, not actual creatures. Even if someone dreamed about that, he doubted anyone ever believed it could happen to them.</p><p>But it happened to John of all people. He was lucky enough to not only meet this elusive creature, be saved by it, but to also get to know it better, become friends with it. He thought that would be all but it didn’t stop there. Friendship only led him closer to falling in love with the merman. He met so many people in his life, both women and men, some he was really close with but none of them struck him as much as Arthur.</p><p>“I didn’t expect to end up with a human either,” Arthur admitted with a small smile. “Up till I met you I was sure every human would kill me on the spot or run away. Not a lot of opportunities to get to know one better, to even form a friendship, not to mention fall in love. I thought I would just be alone till I die.”</p><p>John squeezed the merman’s hand in sympathy. “Why didn’t you get together with someone from your colony?” he asked. He understood that other mere people were assholes but surely there was someone who would be interested in someone like Arthur. Why wouldn’t they be? He was amazing and handsome!</p><p>“I wasn’t fond of getting together with someone just to finally not be alone anymore,” Arthur explained with a sigh. “Some mermaids would probably want to be my mates, I’m strong and capable of fighting, I hunt pretty good so they could count on me to protect our home and children. But being in a relationship like that would only make both of us unhappy. I couldn’t do that to myself or anyone else.”</p><p>That was an understandable reason. John saw some miserable marriages around, with a husband hating his wife and vice versa. He wouldn’t want Arthur to end like this, even if it was making him alone. Can you even stop being lonely in an unrequited relationship? He doubted that.</p><p>“Besides,” Arthur continued sadly. “Even if there were mermaids who wanted to be with me, not that I know of any, they would only be hated by others for mating with me.”</p><p>“Because you’re part human?”</p><p>Arthur nodded. God, that was ridiculous. Obviously John knew almost nothing about merpeople’s culture but how being a part human could be seen as something wrong when merpeople were already humans in some way? Arthur mentioned that pure merfolks have more scales on their body but they couldn’t look that much different from humans. They were clearly closely related, like dogs and wolves or cougars and house cats. </p><p>But why was he even surprised when humans couldn’t handle colored people being treated like white ones?</p><p>“My grandfather died before I was born so I couldn’t witness how he was treated because of mating with my grandmother,” Arthur said. “But I saw how my father was treated. Fairly, he was a bastard so there already was a reason to hate him but it was much worse because of my mother. I heard many times how my father was called ‘human lover’ even though he hated them. My whole family was ostracized because of who my grandmother was. I could only imagine it wouldn’t be any better if some poor mermaid or a merman would mate with me. My colony didn’t really change through all those years.”</p><p>“I’m sorry.” John didn’t know what else to say so he said that and just shifted closer to Arthur, feeling how tense he was because of bringing back painful memories from the time when he was still living with his colony.</p><p>“Not your fault.”</p><p>“I know that, but that’s not how empathy works,” he said a little lightly to ease the mood. Arthur looked at him and smiled, grateful. “If you ask me, your colony had no idea what they lost,” he admitted a little shyly, running away from the curious eyes watching him. “You’re a great person, Arthur, anyone would be lucky to have you.” He squeezed the palm in his grasp, tempted to lift it to his lips and kiss. “I sure am,” he confessed and with his cheeks burning, he looked back at the merman who watched him with his blue eyes full of different emotions. John recognized happiness and love before the merman leaned closer to kiss him.</p><p>John drew in the air when he felt Arthur's lips on his, pressing gently against them. “Their loss, your gain, huh?” the merman asked after parting their mouths.</p><p>John smiled, pleased. “Not that I’m happy you were alone all this time, but yeah, something like that.”</p><p>It hurt him to think that Arthur was on his own all this time, not loved or appreciated by anyone, but a small, egoistical part of him was glad he could be the one to make the merman happy and less lonely. And he was going to keep it like that.</p><p>Arthur smiled back and kissed him again, more firmly this time. John kissed back, letting go of the merman’s hand to wrap it around his shoulders. Arthur shifted to face him and put one palm on John’s chest, gripping the vest in a tight grip while the other sank into his hair, knocking off the hat from John’s head in the process.</p><p>“Mmm,” the merman hummed, parting their lips far too quickly again. John looked at him confused, already a little hazy from the kiss. “It was worth feeling lonely for this,” he admitted, the love in his eyes so obvious it made John’s chest tighten.</p><p>Grinning, John brought them back to a kiss, gently cradling Arthur's face with his hand as he pulled him closer and licked at the merman’s lips, wanting to finally introduce him to a deeper kind of kiss. Arthur didn’t disappoint and opened for him. John took the opportunity right away and he moaned when he touched Arthur’s tongue for the first time.</p><p>It was different, a little harsh on the top, like a cat’s tongue, not to mention slimmer than his own which was making it a little stranger but not unpleasant. John eagerly started playing with it, pressing against it, licking, anything that would make Arthur respond.</p><p>The merman was uncertain at first, not sure what to do. His grip on John's vest tightened and he got a little tense but didn’t pull back so he was fine and John kept doing what he started until finally Arthur responded.</p><p>He gave John’s tongue a shy lick and then the other. John slowed down his advances to give the merman time to explore. To help him relax, he stroked Arthur’s cheek and shoulder, feeling tense muscles relaxing slowly as Arthur got bolder with his discoveries.</p><p>He turned his head to the side and pressed his tongue against John’s, pushing both into his mouth. John gripped the merman’s shoulder in a surprise and whimpered quietly, not expecting something like that but pleased with the outcome.</p><p>He shivered when that harsh tongue explored his mouth. It didn’t hurt but it was different than any kiss John even shared, more exciting. Maybe the fact that he was in love with Arthur had something to do with that as well.</p><p>The merman felt confident enough with what he was doing that John stopped being passive and joined the fun, tangling their tongues together, not surprised when Arthur quickly got an upper hand with his longer and more flexible one. John couldn’t really keep up with that but he was okay with that and tired his best, his breathing increasing, heart running wildly in his chest and body growing hotter with every second.</p><p>He knew they needed to stop. He thought of Arthur’s body many times before but now, with the opportunity to fully have it, he didn’t feel ready, which was surprising because he was never shy or hesitant about sleeping with someone who was willing but now he was really nervous.</p><p>It just doesn’t seem right to do something so physical yet, on the first day of them being a couple. Arthur was a virgin for Chris’s sake, he could get overwhelmed and John wanted their first time to be something more than just a quick spontaneous fuck caused solely by lust. He would enjoy it nonetheless but he wanted something more from it than what he could get from a whore or willing person.</p><p>This was the first time he was going to sleep not with a stranger but someone close to him, sex never mattered to him as much as it did now and he wanted it to be as close to perfection as possible but right now, he just wanted enjoy everything else that came with a relationship and he never had a chance to experience before. They weren't a couple even for a whole day yet, they didn’t have a chance to have that first. To just trade small kisses while sitting on the beach like right now or in the water. To lay in each other’s arms, play with each other’s hair, touch each other’s bodies but without any lust behind it.</p><p>Unless Arthur had other plans. Maybe he wasn’t opposed to having sex this early, maybe he hoped for it despite the lack of experience. Maybe he liked John touching him accidently so much he wanted more now.</p><p>With the way he was kissing and pressing against John it was very much possible but John wasn’t acting any different and he certainly didn’t want to go this far just yet, but it was hard controlling his body in a situation like that, think clearly and not with desire that was flowing through his veins. But John’s mind was stronger than his body, he could control himself, he wasn’t an animal.</p><p>So he moved away, broke the kiss reluctantly despite knowing it was for the best. Arthur didn’t protest or tried to continue, he moved away too till they were sitting with some space between their bodies. Breathing hard, the merman opened his eyes and looked at John with almost black eyes. John licked his lips, his tongue still tingling, still a little raw after Arthur’s scratched it with its rough surface.</p><p>There was no asking why John stopped something they both clearly enjoyed, Arthur didn’t even look like he was regretting it, he was simply happy with the kiss and enjoying the remains of the pleasure it left in his body.</p><p>Slowly, they both got down from the high caused by a simple kiss. John was getting constantly surprised how much love was changing the intimacy with a person, everything seemed so new with it, he liked it and that he could experience it with Arthur.</p><p>They were still a bit flushed when John opened his mouth to ask a question.</p><p>“When did you know?” Arthur looked at him, puzzled. “That you fell in love,” he clarified. “When did you know?”</p><p>“Somewhere shortly after you returned after getting shot,” Arthur replied, making John smile with his response. “But I'm sure that’s just when I realized it was love because I started feeling different when you started treating me like a human.” Arthur grinned. “I didn’t think it was anything more than friendship at first, and maybe it wasn’t, but then one day I noticed my heart acting funny, how much I grinned around you and it just clicked. What about you?”</p><p>“Pretty much the same,” he admitted, taking Arthur's hand in his own again. “I do think I fell in love much earlier but I realized the day we saw each other after I got hurt. I was just leaving and it hit me that I didn’t want to leave. Never.” He took a pause to gather his thoughts. “You were such a good friend from the very beginning I guess it turned into love at some point and suddenly every touch from you was driving me crazy,” he admitted with a nervous chuckle and blush painting his face. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he said, watching as Arthur’s eyes shone with fondness.</p><p>The merman leaned closer and placed a small kiss in the corner of his lips. He didn’t move away after, just raised his head a bit to have their eyes at the same level. “You have no idea how many nights I spent lying on the bottom of my bay and thinking about you too,” he whispered with his hoarse voice and making John shiver.</p><p>Gulping, he answered. “I think I can.” John lifted his hand and placed it over Arthur's chest, feeling how fast his heart was beating under. He could swore his own adjusted its rhythm to fit this of Arthur's. “I never felt like this before,” he admitted, seeing how Arthur's eyes grew a little bigger with surprise and then the merman closed them, breathing out gently and shivery. </p><p>“What are you doing to me, John Marston?” he asked playfully, with a grin appearing on his lips. John grinned back and kissed him.</p><p>“I could ask you the same thing,” he answered with a sigh and nuzzled the merman’s cheek. He smelled like the ocean. “It’s like you put a spell on me. Merpeople can do that, right? You sing and lure people to you.”</p><p>“I’m a terrible singer if it’s any consolation to you,” Arthur chuckled. “So it’s not it. Try some other explanation.”</p><p>“You’re amazing,” John said instead and grinned when Arthur blushed. “Good enough?”</p><p>The merman huffed, embarrassed but still smiling. “I never felt like this before too, you know?” he asked, wrapping his free arm around John’s neck, playing with the hair resting there. Their other hands were still joined together. “Thirty six years of never falling in love and suddenly I fell for a human when I thought I would be alone till I die.”</p><p>“Life acts in funny ways, huh?” John moved his hand from Arthur's chest to his neck, bringing him closer and resting their foreheads together. That got to be his favorite position so far. “Didn’t feel like I was on my way to fall in love either. Yet here we are.”</p><p>“Here we are,” Arthur agreed with a silly smile that affected John stronger than it probably sure. But love was apparently like that, making old emotions stronger while the new ones were already taking his heart and mind in their possession like those were theirs. John never thought it would feel like this.  </p><p>When they kissed again, it was for longer this time, but slower and more calm than the heated one before. They simply enjoyed the newfound intimacy between them without any rush. They were in love and had nowhere else to be than in each other’s arms.</p><p>They ended on the ground at some point, lying side by side, Arthur’s tail still tangled with John’s legs, swaying softly in content while they continued leaving small kisses on each other’s lips, not tired of it yet. John didn’t think he would ever be tired of that, kissing Arthur, no matter how, was amazing and never failed to make his stomach flutter with joy.</p><p>“I have to ask you something,” Arthur informed him after one of the kisses. John had no idea how long they were sharing them till now but it was probably for a while. Just a few minutes of them kissing and not talking and John still wasn’t satisfied.</p><p>“Okay,” he agreed, uncertain. That phrase was never good and this time wasn't any different, with Arthur looking nervous and moving away too far than necessary to have a conversation without their lips brushing constantly while speaking.</p><p>It became obvious why he was acting like that when he asked his question. “You sure you want this?”</p><p>John furrowed his brow. “Want what? Be with you?” Arthur nodded and John’s body filled with dread, the worst scenario already running through his head. “Why would you think I don’t?”</p><p>What came to his mind first was that Arthur held another secret from him that he was about to reveal, which would chase John away. But John couldn’t imagine a secret that would be able to do that. He was very sure about being with the merman.</p><p>“Just making sure what you’re getting into, that’s all,” Arthur explained, not even looking at John. He seemed almost scared. “I know you said you don’t care I’m a merman but it’s not just about my look.” Finally those blue eyes locked with his and there it was, worry. And fear. Plenty of it, making it impossible to see the happiness John could see in them earlier. There was no trace of it in them now. “John I will never be able to follow you. I’m bound to the ocean that you hate.”</p><p>“I don’t hate the ocean,” he denied right away. “Not anymore.”</p><p>He probably never did. He hated swimming, he hated that he could drown but he never really hated water, that was all just talking.</p><p>“That’s nice but it doesn’t change anything,” Arthur noticed, staring at him sadly. “Do you really want to spend the rest of your life here?”</p><p>What kind of question was that? Did he give the merman any indication that he didn’t want to live here?</p><p>“People live near the ocean all their lives,” he pointed out, still a little confused where it was all coming from.</p><p>“Yes, because they’re born here and they don’t have much choice.” John had to agree with him there. Most people were never leaving their place of birth. “Most of them also don’t travel as much as you. Will you be able to stay in one place?”</p><p>“I don’t see why not.” He traveled because of what his family was doing. True, he loved that, but he never complained when their gang stayed longer in one place. It was actually nice. Dangerous when they were robbing everyone around, but still nice to have some sense of stability in life. “Ocean isn’t so bad, the weather is nice all year here. There is a town nearby so if I’ll need to meet other humans or just buy something, there will be no problem.”</p><p>Arthur talked about it as if they were going to get stranded on an island in the middle of the ocean with no people in sight for many miles. But the town was right there and California wasn't such a bad place to live. Sure, there were earthquakes in some places and it was hot almost all year but he lived in hotter places before. He would be fine here.</p><p>“You think so now but you can’t know what the future will bring. If you won’t change your mind.”</p><p>“Nobody knows that. How do you know you ain’t the one that will get bored with me?” Arthur didn’t answer and he looked offended by the question. So he doubting John’s commitment was fine but John doing the same wasn’t? What was going on? “Where is this coming from anyway? Are you… having doubts?”</p><p>John didn’t want to be it, he hoped Arthur was just a little nervous and that was causing him to act like that.</p><p>“No,” he assured quickly. John released a breath he wasn’t even aware he was holding but now he felt relieved. “I’m just making sure you know what you’re getting into,” the merman explained further. “What you’re scarifying to be with me while I’m giving up nothing. Not because I don’t want to but because I can’t. Trust me when I say that I would follow you on foot through the whole Earth if I could.”</p><p>John would really like to focus on that because that confession made his heart to be filled with affection. But he couldn’t because he needed to take care of the problem at hand, to sooth Arthur's worries.</p><p>There was only one suitable response to what Arthur just said. “And you don’t think I wouldn’t follow you to the depths of the ocean if I could?” <em> You can </em>, his mind reminded him but John wasn’t sure he was ready to risk dying for this. Arthur seemed to think so too because he didn’t suggest that solution. They could work well with what they had right now. It wasn't a problem so far and John couldn’t tell why would it become one later on. “I’m not sacrificing anything, I'm making a choice and I’m choosing you.” Arthur kept his distance from him and while John could shorten it at any moment to get closer again, he decided he would let Arthur do that when he would feel ready. Right now, John just took the merman’s hand to show through the touch how sincere he was right now, if his eyes and voice weren't showing it already. “I know this is still new to both of us, honestly I ain’t sure what I’m supposed to do, I’ve never been in love before, especially with a merman.” The joke felt weak when he said it but it made Arthur’s lips curl slightly on one side. “I don’t know how to tend this relationship but I know what I want and that is you, being with you.”</p><p>“I want you too,” Arthur said without hesitation, looking at their hands, how John’s thumb was drawing soothing circles on his palm “Had been for a while now. I'm just worried.”</p><p>John could understand that, especially given Arthur’s lonely past. Now that he wasn't alone, he didn’t want to lose it.</p><p>“I’m worried too.” He wanted the merman to know that, that he wasn’t dismissing his worries because he had them too and was aware of them. “You can’t leave water and I can’t stay in it for too long. Hell, I can’t even swim.” They couldn’t match any worse. A merman and a human who couldn’t swim. It was like faith was playing jokes with them. “We will have to hide all the time, not only because we’re both males but because of who you are. And we can’t exactly live together in a house like a happy couple unless half of it would be underwater.” He was aware of all of that and wasn't ignoring it but he wasn't going to let fear dictate his life. He was an outlaw and earlier he was an orphan living on the streets on his own, fear was a part of his life since he remembered and it was a long time since it ruled it. “So yeah, there will be struggles with adjusting to that but I’ll be damned if I let it scare me. We’ll be alright,” he swore.</p><p>“You can’t promise that.”</p><p>“I guess not,” he agreed but didn’t take his words back. “But I can promise to do everything to make it work. But right now, there is no need to worry for the future. Let’s just enjoy what we got, yeah? Do what we was doing so far, it brought us here after all. And think about problems once they arrive.”</p><p>There was no reason to get worried now, it wouldn’t help at all, it would only make them nervous and waiting for the first problem to arrive while they should enjoy each other and what they got. Even John, not knowing a thing about relationships beside what he read in books knew that. He was sure Arthur knew that too, he just couldn’t help but worry, it was probably in his nature.</p><p>That’s why it felt so good when he saw how worry was slowly leaving Arthur's body till the merman relaxed again and moved closer to him.</p><p>“You’re right,” he said, resting his forehead on John’s chest.</p><p>John kissed the top of his head, smiling when the merman hummed in response. “Whatever will happen, we deal with it together, yeah?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Cupping the merman’s cheek with his palm, John coaxed him to look up. There were still some worries in those eyes but he was happy to see the joy returning to them. “I’ve never wanted anything in my life as much as I want this,” he confessed, hoping it would further sooth Arthur's worries. He wasn’t lying about that. “You won’t get rid of me that easily,” he added with a smile.</p><p>“Right back at you, darling,” Arthur replied.</p><p>“And if I ever want to travel again, you can come with me,” he offered, addressing one of Arthur’s worries.</p><p>The merman rolled his eyes. “Sure, I’ll just crawl after you. I’m sure I can keep up with Old Boy just fine.”</p><p>John chuckled. “No, you idiot,” he responded fondly. “There are rivers everywhere, Art. You can swim there, right? You could go deeper into the land.” Rivers were deep enough to hide the merman while they would travel and he could always hide in John’s traveling tent whenever they would make a stop to rest. Or they would just hide among trees growing at the river banks. “Or we can follow the coast, go to Mexico or to Canada. Circle the whole South America and come back on the east coast of the US.” They could visit New York, John would show Arthur the harbor and from there, they could go to Europe. “Hell, I can buy a ticket on a ship and travel to some archipelago with you following. You’re stuck in the ocean but I’m not stuck on land, Arthur.”</p><p>And with a planet covered mostly with water, there surely shouldn’t be much issues with traveling if John would ever get bored of staying in one place. Which he didn’t think would happen. He traveled his whole life, maybe it was time to settle down.</p><p>Arthur considered his plan for a moment. “That’s actually not a bad idea,” he admitted.</p><p>John grinned proudly. “I have those sometimes,” he joked, glad that Arthur's good mood returned and he was smiling again. “But I don’t want to move anyway. Not now. I never imagined myself settling down, never thought I would live this long to consider this, but this place wouldn’t be bad for that. I've liked it here since day one. I wouldn’t mind staying here for the rest of my life, with you.”</p><p>Those were probably too big plans this early in their entire relationship, not only romantic one, but as for now, John couldn’t imagine himself in the future anywhere else but by Arthur’s side.</p><p>“You’re so sweet,” Arthur noticed with a soft smile, rubbing his hand up and down John’s arm. </p><p>“My lips are sweeter,” he said dumbly and without thinking.</p><p>Arthur bursted out laughing. John wanted to get offended at that but laughed himself, joyous with the merman’s laugh. “That’s how you sweet talk to people?” Arthur asked when his laugh died down and turned into a chuckle at the end of that question.</p><p>“Is it not working?” John asked, sheepishly.</p><p>Arthur shook his head fondly at him. “I’ll kiss you but not because of that terrible line.”</p><p>John grinned, already leaning towards him. “Still a win in my book,” he said smugly.</p><p>His heart leaped when Arthur took his face in his hands and brought his lips closer, not even for a second letting go of his gaze. “Of course it is, you silly fool,” he murmured with affection before joining their lips in a loving kiss that kept them both smiling through it.</p><p>They didn’t kiss for a few minutes like the last time, even if it was tempting. But it was time for breakfast, John didn’t eat anything in the camp and he was sure Arthur didn’t eat anything yet either, cleaning his tail and all.</p><p>So they sat down to breakfast. Arthur quickly caught them two fish which, with addition of supplies John had in his saddle bag, gave them a big enough meal to sustain them both. They were sitting right next to each other, which wasn’t anything new but it was still strangely exciting with the new nature of their relationship. John couldn’t stop feeling giddy through the whole breakfast as they ate and talked about none important things.</p><p>“I have something for you,” John revealed when they finished and were now resting after the meal. The ocean was calm enough it was safe for John to lay on the rock belt without getting hit by waves every now and then. For a few minutes he was lying with his hat back on his head and covering his eyes while Arthur floated on the surface of the water, somehow never drifting away despite gentle waves entering the bay. John had no idea how he was doing it but he was glad for it because they could hold hands like that, John’s dangling limply from the rocks and submerged in the warm water where it was held by Arthur.</p><p>Now John’s hat was on top of his head again so he could look at Arthur who opened his eyes sleepily. He blinked away the sleep and curiosity filled his eyes. “What do you have?”</p><p>Not really wanting to do that, John took his hand from the merman’s hold and sat up to rummage through his satchel. It wasn’t hard to find a horseshoe. He pulled it out, smiling when Arthur frowned but remained curious. “It’s a horseshoe.”</p><p>Arthur probably never saw one. Old Boy had his own but John doubted the merman noticed them at any point.</p><p>“It doesn’t look like a shoe,” he noticed and swam closer to the rocks to climb on them. He then took the horseshoe from John and looked closer at it. It was a little old already, not to mention used.</p><p>“They’re kinda used the same way,” John explained. He always enjoyed when Arthur was confused, he looked adorable like that. And now he could tell him that. So he did. “You look adorable confused.” Arthur’s face got red instantly and he glared at John. “With blush even more so,” he added, laughing when the merman’s tail that was still in the water threw it into the air, successfully making John wet. It wasn’t a small splash like earlier but he wasn't even angry about it probably running his clothes. He was going to buy some more anyway. “Alright, I’m sorry.”</p><p>“For calling me adorable as well?” the merman teased with a smirk.</p><p>John chuckled. “Never for that,” he said and kissed the merman on the lips, turning the smirk on his face into an endearing smile. “It belonged to my first horse, a chestnut Morgan called Buddy.” Arthur snorted. “I was twelve,” he justified the unoriginal name. “It was one of the horseshoes he was sold to me with. When I changed it later, I kept one for luck. I want you to have it.”</p><p>Arthur looked at him, hesitant. “You sure? If it’s for luck…”</p><p>“I’ll be fine,” John assured with a smile. “I’m sure I used all the luck it could give me. If it was lucky in the first place, I got shot many times since I had it, get beaten a lot too or hurt otherwise so it can’t be very lucky.”</p><p>“So you’re giving me a unlucky horseshoe, is that it John?” Arthur asked. “Should I be concerned?”</p><p>“Do you want it or not?” he asked, trying to act offended but the wide grin was running his act.</p><p>“I’ll keep it,” Arthur promised, looking at the horseshoe again and tossing it in the air a little. “It’s heavy.”</p><p>“Iron, it tends to be heavy,” John teased. “I thought you would like something that belonged to a horse since you love them so much.”</p><p>“I do. Thank you, John.” Arthur hugged and kissed him on the cheek before moving away. John missed his arms around himself, even if they made his clothes wetter because the merman was still dripping with water. “I have something for you too.”</p><p>“Really?” he laughed. Who would’ve thought they would come with the same idea. “What is it?”</p><p>“I need to swim for it. Here.” He handed John the horseshoe. “Keep it for a while longer, I’ll be back shortly.”</p><p>Arthur jumped into the water, almost splashing John again who watched as the merman swam quickly to the gap in the rocks and squeezed between them in a hurry like on the first day. He didn’t lie, Arthur was back shortly and he had something in his hand. When he climbed back on the rocks, he gave it to John who couldn’t identify the thing. It was dark and had a triangle shape, it looked suspiciously like a tooth, which was concerning considering its size.</p><p>“What the hell is this?”</p><p>“A shark’s tooth.”</p><p>John shivered. It was even worse than he imagined. Not only it really was a tooth, it was a shark’s tooth. A shark that could probably eat him with one bite. He began to like sharks after meeting that one female but it turned out to be a mistake now.  </p><p>“I know they’re big, the one we saw together was huge but I’m sure it didn’t have teeth this huge.” He would remember that, his hand was very close to those teeth. He brought it closer to his eye and shivered again. “Damn, that could crush my skull no problem.”</p><p>Arthur nodded, which didn’t really help John feel calm with knowledge that there was a giant shark living in the ocean. The same ocean they were swimming together. “Merpeople believe in legends about giant sharks that during the day swim deep in the ocean, so deep you can’t reach them and where there is no light, but at night they come out from the depths and hunt careless merchildren.” The more John was finding out about merpeople, the more surprised he was how similar they were to humans. He never thought a species that barely had spoken language shared tales between each other. “If you ask me, that’s just a silly fairy tale.”</p><p>“Yet you just gave me evidence of those sharks' existence.”</p><p>Arthur shrugged. “It’s old, even if those sharks lived once, they’re long gone. I swim a lot at night and never saw one.”</p><p>John was never entering the ocean ever again just to be safe.</p><p>“So, they’re like dinosaurs,” he noticed.</p><p>Arthur looked at him puzzled. “A what?”</p><p>“Giant lizards that once roamed the earth.” He wondered if he could find a book about dinosaurs here, to show Arthur how they looked like.” You can find their petrified bones in some places, dig them out from the ground. They’re extinct, at least I hope so.”</p><p>Arthur nodded in understanding, maybe trying to imagine dinosaurs before he looked back at John. “Do you like it?” he asked hopefully.</p><p>“I do.” Even though the idea of the existence of giant sharks, that were already huge, was scary. “It’s really impressive and something I’ve never seen before.”</p><p>Knowing a merman was a very educational experience. And there was still a lot to learn about them, especially intimately.</p><p>He felt his cheeks warming, he hoped Arthur didn’t notice and if he did that he wouldn’t ask. Just to be sure, he started examining the tooth closer and imagining it in a whole jaw full of those and belonging to a living shark.</p><p>“My grandmother found it and gave it to me as a gift.”</p><p>John almost dropped the tooth into the water.</p><p>“You sure you want to give me something that’s from your grandmother?”</p><p>His gift wasn't even nearly as personal. Arthur’s grandmother meant a lot to him, she taught him speak English and about humans after all. She was one of the two people in his life that loved him.</p><p>Arthur pushed the tooth away from himself when John proceeded to give it back. “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind,” he assured. “She only gave it to me because she liked to call me her little shark. It’s not the only one I have.”</p><p>“That’s sweet,” John admitted, smiling at the nickname. People usually call others by the names of sweeter animals than mean looking sharks. “Why would she do that?”</p><p>Arthur smiled fondly while remembering his grandmother. “She always said I look mean on the outside like a shark but I’m the gentlest soul she’s ever met.”</p><p>John started thinking about using the nickname himself. It really was fitting.</p><p>“She wasn’t wrong. You’re gentle despite your sharp tongue and even sharper teeth and claws.”</p><p>Arthur gave him his full smile using his fangs. They were once bringing fear to John but now he was only smiling back. Love was really a strange thing.</p><p>“Thank you for the gift, Art,” he spoke again and kissed the merman when he hid his fangs. The kiss lingered for a few seconds, John wanted to pour as much appreciation into it as he could. He didn’t know if he succeeded but he surely made Arthur smile a little loopy after that kiss. John took pride in that. “I’ll keep it safe.”</p><p>“You better,” Arthur murmured back and brought him to another kiss.</p><p>John wrapped his arms around him and enthusiastically responded to it, thriving when Arthur hugged him back, bringing him close to his chest. John definitely wasn’t getting tired of kissing the merman anytime soon, he could tell that already.</p><p>The day never ended this quickly before like today. John was reluctant to leave and Arthur was reluctant to let him go, dragging out the goodbye for over half an hour by finding new things to talk to or just to kiss again. But John had to go at some point, he didn’t want to worry the gang, even if he doubted they would be worried instead of thinking he was playing in the sheets with his mistress the whole night.</p><p>Still, if not for the gang, he should better go back for Old boy’s sake.</p><p>With one last kiss, John was finally ready to go. Or feel less sad about leaving. “Goodnight,” he said to the merman.</p><p>He lied, that wasn't the last kiss, Arthur gave him the last one before replying with words. “Goodnight.”</p><p>Smiling dumbly, they parted, looking back at each other. John had no doubt he was going to be back in the early morning, he didn’t have to say it for Arthur to know it too, the merman saw it in his eyes no doubt.</p><p>They waved at each other as well, because they just couldn’t help it but finally, <em> finally </em>, they stopped staring at each other and got back to their respective homes. During his ride back, John thought about today and just like a day before, he couldn’t stop grinning. He was so damn happy it was unbelievable. It shouldn’t be possible to be this happy but he was. He never wanted to stop.</p><p>He expected the teasing after coming back so he wasn’t surprised when someone, probably Sean, whistled at him when he arrived. Even Kieran who took Old boy from him couldn’t help but look knowingly at him. John couldn’t find a need in himself to scare him into submission, he just wished the boy good night and went to his tent, refusing to join the others, saying he was tired, which no doubt erupted in another series of jokes.</p><p>John quickly undressed to his underwear and laid on his cot, staring at the roof of the tent and thinking about Arthur like always, having no doubt that the merman was thinking about him too.</p><p>It took him a while to fall asleep but when he did, it was with Arthur's present under the pillow and a small smile on his lips.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Wow, sunshine and rainbows everywhere, I'm sure nothing bad will happen soon :)</p><p>But seriously, the boys deserved a very happy chapter just for them. While I hate angst, it just has to come at some point but Arthur and John will go through this together. I don't think it will be a big spoiler if I say this angst will have nothing to do with the boys’ relationship. This is the worst kind of angst for me and I just can't stand it going on for too long. Who needs relationship trouble when you have someone like Micah in your story anyway?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. A Whale's Song</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It’s been the best week of John’s life. He wasn’t exaggerating, it really felt like it, like it couldn’t get any better than this. A whole week spent on meeting with Arthur for hours and while the amount of them weren’t any different than before, the new activities they could perform certainly changed how they’ve been experiencing their time together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John would wake up every day in the early morning, quickly dress himself and go to the bay without eating anything or spending time with his friends. Arthur was always waiting for him already. They would kiss to greet each other, and that one change alone was enough to make John feel insanely happy. Sometimes the kiss was brief, followed by a soft ‘hello’ from one of them and bright smiles on their face. Sometimes it would last, a gentle press of their lips and relishing in the closeness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After that, they would eat breakfast together while sitting really close, with their shoulders bumping into each other all the time and sharing happy smiles while eating. The rest of the day would then go almost like before they got together, on teaching each other their languages, drawing, talking. Only now it was with the addition of John’s, and Arthur’s as well, new favorite activities.</span>
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  <span>Kissing and cuddling.</span>
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  <span>John never wanted to keep kissing anybody like he wanted to kiss the merman. He didn’t even need a reason to do so, sometimes he would do that during one of their talks, when Arthur was absorbed with some wild story from the ocean. John adored how passionate the merman was then and he just couldn’t help but lean towards him and kiss him on the lips, causing him to stop mid-sentence.</span>
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  <span>Arthur would kiss back and then act annoyed for interrupting him, even calling John a fool despite acting no better sometimes and interrupting him just the same. John would only smile goofily at him and kiss him again while his heart would beat like crazy inside his chest, bursting with love towards the merman.   </span>
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  <span>His heart felt like that all the time nowadays. His whole body seemed light, free of any tension that normally should reside in it. A boundless amount of energy filled it all the time and John could swear that with it, he would be able to walk for miles and never get tired.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he only wanted to walk to one place on Earth right now, to the bay where his lover lived, waiting for him every day to kiss John, hold him, whisper sweet nonsense into his ear as they would lay cuddled together on the warm sand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If this wasn’t heaven on Earth, then John had no idea what was. Even thinking about Arthur was making him happy and actually sitting in his presence, being able to touch and kiss him, was making John dizzy with joy, its purest kind. He was in the state of content happiness and he never wanted it to end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Logically he knew it would all tone down at some point, that this happiness wasn’t going to be so overwhelming forever. Same with the love but he was going to enjoy it in its biggest form till it would last. And tend to it so instead of burning out one day, that enormous fire blaze that was going on right now; wild and dangerous, and so strong they couldn’t resist it even if they wanted, would turn into a nice, steady fire. Smaller, less intense, but not less warm, providing them with warmth, content and safety like a campfire in the middle of the cold night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled at the analogy as he fastened the belts around Old Boy’s middle, preparing for another day at the bay. The sun was barely peeking out from behind the horizon, it was really early and most of the gang was still asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thankfully no one was bothered by him leaving this early or by coming back late only to go to sleep right away to rest before he would do it all over again the next day. Everyone was understanding, he was in love after all, they couldn’t blame him for wanting to spend so much time with his sweetheart. Anyone in his place would be doing the same. He overheard Sadie once explaining John's behavior to everyone, that she and her husband used to sneak around like that before they got married, disappearing for the whole day to be with each other because they just couldn’t get enough of each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John felt a little bad that his happiness was most likely bringing back her painful memories but he knew Sadie wasn’t angry at him for that. He couldn’t just stop feeling after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, boy, think we’re ready,” John announced quietly to his horse and stroked his neck. “Let’s go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you bailing on us again, John?” the voice stopped him just as he put his foot in the stirrup.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly, John turned to face Dutch who appeared out of nowhere. He didn’t even hear the leader as he approached.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not bailing on you.” Where this question was coming from? And why now? Sure, Dutch watched him funnily all week but he never tried to stop John from going before. Or confronted him for it. “I’ll be back in the evening. Like always.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His absence wasn't even that bad. In the past he used to be gone for a few days sometimes, just traveling and resting away from the camp or simply looking for new opportunities for the gang. Dutch was never bothered by it and suddenly daily trips were the problem?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dutch nodded but there was no acceptance in that gesture. “After spending the whole day… where exactly?” he questioned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John tensed, hopefully not visibly. “I don’t need to explain myself to you, Dutch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why was Dutch even asking, he knew where John was going. Everyone knew. But that was exactly what John feared would happen eventually. No matter his silence, people were starting to get noisy instead of dismissing his behavior.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do when you’re disappearing for a whole day and don’t bring anything back,” Dutch pointed out, disappointed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John frowned. “What are you talking about? I brought something yesterday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur gave him an old compass he fished out from the bottom of the ocean. It was a little rusty but no doubt worth something. Certainly more than a few feathers Strauss brought to the camp two days earlier. What were they even going to do with feathers? Put them in their hats? John could see the appeal of that but for the gang as a whole, feathers were useless.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That junk?” John had to hide how offended that made him. On Arthur’s behalf. How Dutch dare to insult the gift from the merman? “Just because something is from a sunken ship that went down hundred years ago doesn’t mean it’s valuable. How do you even get this stuff?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John swallowed nervously before answering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The ocean is washing it up on the shore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a pathetic lie and Dutch knew it too. He looked at John suspicious and stepped closer towards him. “Really?” he asked, his voice doubtful. “You don’t have someone helping you get those things?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he denied right away. The blood was humming in his ears with how fast the heart was pumping it. “Of course not.” He needed to steer the conversation to another subject, before Dutch could start digging. “What is it about, Dutch?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn't like Dutch to get into a gang member’s private life. Of course he had the right to get suspicious but John never gave him the reason to question him. This had to be about something else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We need money, son.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And there it was. So Dutch was just angry because John wasn’t bringing him as much as he used to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We always needed money,” he remained the leader.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ever since their gang grew, money was becoming more and more important. John missed the days when it was only him, Hosea, Dutch and Susan, when most of what they robbed went to the poor and not into their own pockets. They couldn’t just let themselves share the money like that now. Not with so many mouths to feed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John loved the gang and his family, and money was still being used to end hunger. He just wished they could still help other people, not only themselves.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now more than ever. And my best man is contributing nothing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want me to do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The town and nearby farms weren't that rich. Even if he wanted he wouldn’t be able to get much money out of those people and he wasn't going to start robbing the poor that barely had money for themselves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get yourself together!” Dutch shouted unexpectedly. John took a step back, surprised. “Everyone is working, everyone is contributing, either by robbing people or hunting for food. Everyone except you.” John hated to admit how much the disappointment in Dutch’s voice hurt him right now. “You disappear for whole days and while earlier you at least helped around the camp a bit, now you’re gone at dawn and come back long after the sun sets.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The initial shock caused by the sudden outburst was long gone before Dutch stopped speaking and John was able to respond right after.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still don’t think I'm doing anything wrong, Dutch,” he noticed. “I mean, I brought some fishes for the camp.” Fish that Arthur caught one day. According to the merman, he was so full of energy like John, that he couldn’t sleep at night and hunted through almost all of it. In the morning, when John arrived, there were ten fishes swimming in the shallow waters. They ate some of them, what was left John brought back to the camp as a perfect excuse that he wasn't just fooling around with some mistress. “And I’m adding to the box.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what am I supposed to do with all that stuff?” Dutch pointed around with his hand. “There is no fence nearby and folks around here don’t buy antics, John. I told you once already, we need real money, now, not later when we find a fence or sell all of it somewhere else, and you ain’t bringing any money right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you can’t say I ain’t working if I'm still bringing something,” John defended himself. It was true he wasn’t working like he used to but it didn’t start only a week ago. They already had this conversation and so John started bringing things to the camp, valuable things. He didn’t care they couldn’t sell it right now, his hands were clean.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You may as well be bringing rocks to the camp,” Dutch growled at him. “And that’s the thing, I can’t say you’re working. In fact, I can’t say anything about what you’re doing when you’re out because you never tell.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s my personal life and you’re not a priest, I don’t need to confess everything I’m doing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I'm your goddamn leader and I deserve to know when one of my men is disappearing god knows where!” If nobody was awake earlier, they sure were now. But John didn’t take a second to look around and check, instead staring back at Dutch confidently. “You leaving is weakening the gang! No one can count on you anymore because you’re never there! People want to take you robbing and they can’t, because you’re not there. Even Uncle does more than you right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“By shrinking our alcohol supplies, maybe!” John shouted back. Comparing him to Uncle was insulting, he wasn’t nearly that lazy. He wasn’t even that in the first place. He was always happy to rob and work, he was just having different priorities now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Enough!” John snorted. He wasn't the one who started it. “Some folks even think you may be selling us to the law!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hearing this, and from Dutch no less, felt like a punch to the gut. John needed a moment to gather his thoughts and answer something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who thinks so?” he questioned. “Micah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was the only one unhappy with John leaving everyday so it wouldn’t be surprising. But why Dutch even believe it to the point he brought it up in an argument? John never gave him any reason to doubt him, he wasn’t the most present in the camp life right now but to think it was because of a betrayal? That he was being friendly with the law? Micah mentioned it once and suddenly Dutch is suspicious?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not bringing up any names!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then why the hell you bring it up?! Let me defend myself to that person!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And by defend he meant punch Micah in the face for spreading lies about him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That won’t be necessary, your actions should speak for you and right now, they’re making you suspicious.” What a goddamn horseshit! If he was really selling the gang to the law, he would do it less suspiciously than vanishing every day and returning smiling like a lovestruck fool. How could anyone think selling his family to the law was causing him to act that happy? “So you better start working like you used to because since that bank robbery you got pathetic.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was already angry because of Dutch’s complaints but those accusations tipped the scale.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be doing whatever I like!” he shouted, furious. He wasn’t interested in a calm approach, not after Dutch practically spat on all the history they had and suggested he was betraying the gang with a smile on his face. They could resolve the situation later, now he was too angry for that. “For years Uncle was doing nothing and that was fine but the moment I stopped bringing money it’s a problem? In a gang that is full of capable people?” He was sick of being the one that always had to work the hardest for approval. Others often did the bare minimum and they were praised as if they robbed the biggest bank in the world while he had to do twice as hard to get even the simplest pat on the shoulder and ‘good job’. “I sacrificed years of my life for this gang, I worked hard while there was only you, me and Hosea and when others were still new. I was always working and I deserve to do something for myself for once, Dutch! You should be happy, actually! Since I’m so pathetic lately, then it’s a good thing I'm not messing up any more robberies for anyone!” With that, John turned around and quickly climbed Old Boy, tightly grabbing the reins. “And if I was telling the law about something, don’t you think you would be on the gallows by now?” he asked and rode off before Dutch could answer and continue the argument.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon enough, John stopped feeling the leader's eyes on himself and could breath freely but he didn’t feel any better. For the first time in a week his mood was ruined, he was pissed and wanted to punch something, preferably Micah’s face for suggesting he was a traitor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John had no doubt it was him. Everyone else, if they had any doubts, would just come to him or Dutch wouldn’t be afraid to mention their name. Or call them out for being dumb in the first place. But for some reason Dutch trusted Micah more than his own son.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was always finding Micah’s bootlicking silly but apparently it worked and it was embarrassing how easily Dutch let himself be played. He probably wouldn’t even listen to anyone telling him now he was acting stupid, not even to Hosea, because Dutch would be too ashamed to admit anyone was right. That some feller who wasn't with them even a year played him like a fool to get… what exactly? What would Micah gain with the conflict between Dutch and John?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John didn’t know but he was going to keep an eye on Micah from now on, just in case. Confronting him would be pointless, that rat would deny everything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing tiredly, John loosened the grip on the reins and took a few calming breaths. He felt better but not perfect, definitely not as happy as he was feeling this morning or the whole week. He needed to see Arthur more than ever now, to get lost in his arms and kisses. He just wanted to lay on the sand with him and cuddle all day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But before he could do that, he had to care for Old Boy. Owners of the closest ranch were nice enough to rent him their small cart and use their water pump for a small price. After cleaning and refilling the old barrel he was using with water, he packed it on the cart along with a bale of hay he also bought and took it all with him to the forest. The cart was small enough that it fitted between trees. Making it turn was a challenge but after two days John found the perfect straight path for them to follow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They finally reached the cliff and once Old Boy was free from the cart and the saddle, he laid down on the ground happily while his rider prepared him food and water for the day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Be good,” John said to him before he entered the bay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sight of Arthur and his smile alone was enough to ease the tension from his body. Weakly, he smiled back at the merman and joined him at the bottom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Arthur greeted him. He was laying on the beach, his tail in the water while the rest of the body rested on the sand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John didn’t waste any time to kneel in front of him and bring him to a kiss he needed desperately.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur didn’t complain, he just took John’s face into his hands and kissed him back, gently nipping at his lower lip. John eagerly parted them and let the merman’s tongue enter. Arthur learned a lot since the first kiss, he was so confident now it was hard to believe that just a week ago he never kissed anyone before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>John let him lead the kiss, needing something to distract him from the argument with Dutch. Slowly, his body started to relax, he sighed into the kiss and pushed back at Arthur's tongue, eager to make it a little more heated. He whined when the merman retreated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” he asked, gently stroking John’s face with his clawed fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John shivered under the touch and grabbed the merman’s hand, not surprised that Arthur sensed something was wrong. John’s body was probably still a little tight, a unheard occurrence during their kisses, especially one that passionate. Arthur must’ve sensed it.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to talk about it.” Not yet. Soon, but right now he just wanted to forget about his talk with Dutch and get back to how happy he was before the leader ruined it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur smiled with understanding and didn’t probe. Instead, he placed a soft kiss on John’s lips but didn’t let him deepen it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How about we go swimming then?” the merman suggested. His hand was still in John’s hold and he didn’t try to take it back, just let John draw small circles on the top of it. “It’ll help you relax.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John chuckled, because it was true. “I must be really in love if even water doesn’t scare me anymore,” he noticed and laid down on his back, bringing Arthur with him. The merman only laid down on him with the human part of his body, keeping the tail near John's legs, tangling it with them. John wished his legs were naked so he could feel the scales against his skin. But even without that he still rubbed them against Arthur’s tail, smiling when the side fins trembled slightly with pleasure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You would still be scared if I wasn't there with you,” Arthur noticed, resting comfortably on John’s chest who wrapped his arms around the merman and sighed in content. That’s exactly what he needed, he was feeling much better now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“True,” he agreed. Water was still scary and he tensed whenever he had to enter it, even with Arthur holding him. He still needed some time to adjust to being it before he could enjoy it fully but that was hardly a problem. And swimming was a good idea now. Just them and the open ocean with its soothing waves to make him forget how hurt and angry he felt not so long ago. “Swimming sounds good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The merman smiled wide at him and crawled off him. John was already missing him in his arms but soon they would be close again while swimming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Take off everything you need to and join me in the water,” he said and entered it himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John watched him swim for a moment before walking to the grotto where he dumped his satchel and gun belt near the chest and then took off his boots. He wiggled his toes when he felt a warm sand under them and quickly crossed the bay again, climbing on the rocks. Arthur was swimming in circles as if warming up. When he noticed John on the rocks, he swam close to him so John didn’t have to feel too scared entering the water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt scared anyway, he didn’t understand how couldn’t he when his feet didn’t meet the bottom at any point. If it weren't for Arthur holding him right now and John holding back with a death grip, he would’ve sank to it in seconds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The merman could feel he was tense and just like two other times they went swimming for the first time, he leaned close and pressed John to the rocks behind him, kissing him soundly. John’s grip on the merman loosened as he relaxed under the kiss, returning it slowly, his body relaxing as their lips moved against each other lazily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart picked up the speed, reacting more to the kiss than to the fear like just a moment ago. John felt a familiar warmth spreading through his chest and he moaned as Arthur's hand tangled itself in his hair while the other held him close by the waist. Being kissed like that, he could easily forget he was in the water, because that weightless feeling he was experiencing while in it didn’t differ from the one he had whenever he and Arthur kissed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They parted their mouths after a while, both breathing harder. John licked his lips and looked into Arthur's slightly foggy eyes. The merman’s hand in his hair dropped to his neck and gave it a soft squeeze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m starting to think,” the merman said, continuing kneading John’s neck. John moaned again, but there was nothing to muffle it this time and he could feel how the sound made Arthur shiver slightly against him and under his fingers that were splayed on the merman’s back. “That you’re just pretending to be scared to get me to kiss you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like I need an excuse to kiss you,” John replied with a smile and to prove his statement, he leaned forward to peck the merman on the lips and lick them playfully. He smiled smugly when they parted basically on their own, before Arthur shut them. “The fear is genuine and your method of calming me down is appreciated.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm sure it is,” Arthur chuckled and moved them away from the rocks. John tensed again when he didn’t feel anything against his back anymore. “Relax,” Arthur told him, swimming backward towards the exit to the bay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was silly how effective this word was. Because it was said by Arthur, whom John trusted, it worked like a magic spell and within seconds, his body relaxed. Because there was nothing to fear with the merman holding him, protecting him. He couldn’t be any safer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good boy,” Arthur praised him and John, red as a tomato, practically jolted in his hold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John’s throat got dry instantly and he felt a twitch of interest in his pants coming from his cock. God, being called that was better than in his imagination but so embarrassing. He hoped Arthur didn’t feel how John became just a tiny bit harder. He turned his eyes to look away from the smirking merman, blushing even more when Arthur chuckled at his embarrassment before turning swiftly under him so John could lay on his back for the swim. And the dive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John only had a second to take a breath before Arthur submerged and immediately sped up to get them back on the surface. It only took a few seconds and John wasn't even out of breath when they got back to the fresh air but his grip was a bit tight and he was shaking, making Arthur look back at him, worried.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” John answered, truthfully. The first dive was always scary, no matter how many times they did it so far, but it wasn't scary enough to make him want to get back on land. “Let’s swim.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur seemed very eager for it. He was always eager but today it was a bit different. John wondered if the merman had a surprise for him. Hopefully it wasn't a giant shark from the tales. Arthur assured him they didn’t exist, at least not anymore, but with how big the ocean was, he couldn’t really be sure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are we going?” he asked shortly after they swam away from the bay. John adjusted his grip on the merman to make sure he wouldn’t slip at any point during the swim. He wouldn’t end up dead but he wanted to avoid the unnecessary scare.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not many attractions on the surface I’m afraid,” Arthur joked. John chuckled and looked around. All he could see ahead of them was an endless water. “We’ll just swim far enough from the seagulls and to make sure no one from land could see us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They would never believe in what they are seeing,” John noticed, making himself comfortable on Arthur's back. Every now and then, the tail was bumping into his legs as it moved them through the water with ease. “I think they would take us for two lunatics who decided to swim in the middle of the ocean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never see your kind swimming that far from land on their own.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s why they would think of us as crazy.” John looked up. So far, the seagulls and other marine birds were still flying above them, sometimes diving to get the fish swimming near the surface. “We didn’t eat anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could eat while in the ocean.” Arthur turned back to smirk at him. “Too bad you can’t eat raw fish, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me starving is that funny to you?” he asked, glaring at the merman.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be so dramatic, you’ll be fine.” To John’s surprise, Arthur turned to the left a little. He definitely had some surprise, because just swimming forward would be good enough. “I’ll catch you a tuna later so you can have a big breakfast.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We won’t be able to eat one tuna alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He never saw one with his own eyes but he saw the drawing in Arthur's compendium and the description under. It was huge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll give the rest to sharks then,” the merman offered. “Maybe I can make one jump above the surface. Or show you its teeth during the attack.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I actually started to like sharks, don’t make me hate them again, please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur laughed, cheerfully and sincere. For John, there was no better sound in the world than this one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wherever Arthur was bringing him, they reached it after around twenty minutes of swim spent chatting and telling each other what happened between their last meetings. John didn’t really have much to tell, he spoke briefly with his friends before going to sleep and that was it, but listening to what the rest of the gang was up to was actually interesting to a merman obsessed with humanity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they came to a stop, so far from the land it was just a flat line on the horizon, their conversation stopped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm gonna turn on my back now,” Arthur warned him before he smoothly flipped. For a short moment John was floating on his own because the merman dipped under the surface. A brief panic caught the hold of him before he was once again in his merman’s arms that batted away the claws of fear off John. “You good?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Always so caring, John thought fondly and shifted on Arthur's chest to kiss him. The merman purred happily, his hold tightening slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perfect,” John assured and laid down his head on Arthur’s chest, listening to the heart beating right under – strong and steady, like the waves they were floating on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John closed his eyes, starting to calm down. Few weeks ago he would never think that the calmest he would ever feel would be here, in the middle of the ocean, with the closest land miles away. Beside the two of them and marine life under them, there was no one else here. No one to disturb them, to bother them. They could enjoy the warm weather, the sound of the waves and each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All the worry left John’s body as they floated, Arthur's arms wrapped protectively around him. That was all what was keeping John from dying and he wasn’t even scared, instead he relaxed completely, soaking up in the peace around them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John could gladly stay like this forever, he didn’t need anything else from life, he even forgot about his hunger, all that mattered was Arthur and the calming ocean that didn’t even seem scary right now, just beautiful and comforting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No wonder Arthur loved it so much despite his love for the land and what was on it. Living in the ocean, John mused, didn’t seem so bad, in many ways, it could probably be better than living on land. It was so big and deep that everyone could find a peaceful place to live, to swim all day without a care in the world of what was happening on the surface. It wasn’t any safer than land but with no rules, no responsibilities. No Dutch demanding him to work, to still prove his usefulness even though he proved it through many years.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever was bothering you, you’re thinking about it again,” Arthur murmured. John opened his eyes and looked at the merman, noticing his eyes were half closed. He was probably on his way to doze off like John before he thought about Dutch again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was supposed to be a nice swim without any worries and even without being here, Dutch still ruined it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You reading in my mind now?” he asked, closing back his eyes and trying to relax again. He wasn't going to let Dutch and his sudden paranoia to interrupt the day with his merman.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm reading your body,” the merman replied. “Which isn’t hard when it lays on mine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled into Arthur’s chest, a small blink of joy among all the mess he had in his head right now. He didn’t say anything, letting the ocean bring him back to the state of mind he was before, to this wonderful calmness and safety but no matter how hard he concentrated on the sound of the waves or on Arthur’s heartbeat, the peace didn’t want to come again. Dutch’s voice, his words from the morning being louder than anything else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In a way, it was John’s own fault that Dutch believed Micah or whoever else called him a traitor. He couldn’t deny that he was keeping a secret. An obvious one but the fact he wasn't speaking about it was bringing suspicions in Dutch’s mind. It still hurt though that the man that raised him, to whom John stayed loyal to through all these years, believed so easily in some gossip without any evidence to back it up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now it was too late to start confirming he was seeing someone. At this point, Dutch would probably think John was trying to clear his name. And if not that, he would want to meet John’s mistress as proof that nothing was going on and when John would obviously refuse, the suspicions would start again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He should’ve said something at the beginning but he believed he had time. But then he got caught up with all those new feelings and now it was too late. He was stupid, as always.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe talking about it will help,” Arthur suggested but without pressuring him to speak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe it would, he thought and sighed. “Dutch talked to me today,” he said, opening his eyes to look at the ocean. “Or I should rather say he yelled at me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did you do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John raised his head and looked at Arthur offended. “What… I didn’t do anything!” he protested but quickly gave up the denying with a sigh. “I suppose that’s the problem because I’m literally doing nothing. I don’t hunt, I don’t bring money.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m giving you treasures,” Arthur pointed out, confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Apparently it’s not enough,” John huffed, still angry that Dutch didn’t appreciate what Arthur was getting him, them. “We have nowhere to sell it and the gang need real money to buy food and other supplies. But I’m only contributing what you gave me. And them fish that one time. For Dutch it’s too little.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then maybe you should do what he asks of you,” Arthur suggested. “Work a little for the gang.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m good with how things are now,” John admitted. “If I return to work, I would spend less time with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And right now it’s unimaginable, he added in his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like how things are now too,” Arthur admitted, stroking his back, no doubt after noticing John tensed again, this time because of that awful suggestion. “But that would get Dutch off your back. You will feel better helping the gang too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The gang will be fine without me,” he insisted. “I carried it for years, taking the hardest jobs, bringing most of the money we were getting while others were bringing scraps. It’s their time to work.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He never held it against anyone in the gang. John liked that he was the best, Dutch’s favorite, that everyone counted on him. And robbing was fun, especially big jobs and he never had anything else but robberies in his life so he never complained. But now he had Arthur and working for the gang, at least for the moment, wasn’t entertaining for him or even that much important.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And with Dutch’s comment today, he was now finding it unfair that he was expected to still carry this gang even though it was full of capable people. People that sometimes had years to learn from him how to rob, how to plan and shoot better. It was time they carried that torch now and he deserved to have his own life for once after sacrificing it to Dutch for so long, ignoring anything that he might have wanted through the years in the process.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was done with ignoring his wishes and dreams anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur didn’t try to convince him after that, he just nodded and held John tighter, giving him the comfort he needed right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talking really did help, because after that, John found it easy again to relax. Arthur emitting a soothing, rumbling sound somewhere deep in his chest helped too. It sounded almost like a purring and it made John sleepy again, ready to take a nap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t freak out in a moment,” Arthur said suddenly, interrupting John’s process of falling asleep and his own purring.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Confused, he raised his head and looked at the merman who was grinning suspiciously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“About wha…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t finish because suddenly on their left, no further than a couple of feet from them, a huge creature emerged from the depths of the ocean, blowing out the fountain of water from the top of its body. John watched it with huge eyes, clinging to Arthur when the water under them was disturbed by the enormous body of an animal that disappeared as quickly as it appeared, it’s huge tail smoothly vanishing under the surface.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The hell… Was that a whale?!” he asked, shocked. He never saw one before and right now, he couldn’t comprehend how huge it was. It was bigger than any animal John has ever seen and he didn’t even see it whole. The tail fin itself was longer than Arthur’s whole body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur chuckled, amused by the encounter. “I was hearing him all morning,” the merman explained. “I was hoping you would get to the bay in time for me to show him to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So that’s why you were so eager to get me into the water,” John realized, still looking at the place the whale disappeared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I wanted to make you feel better,” Arthur added, smiling up at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled back. “Can we swim closer? Is he dangerous?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only mothers are,” the merman assured. “Let’s go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They got back to their previous position, with John on Arthur's back. They swam on the surface at first, and despite looking very intensely, John couldn’t really see the whale but he was sure Arthur was seeing him just fine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He didn’t swim far away,” the merman informed. “Take a deep breath.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John did just that and then they dived in the clear water. The whale was ahead of them but Arthur quickly caught up to him and swam on his right, staying away from the big fin on his side. Arthur looked so tiny next to it and John felt even smaller, like a sparrow next to a horse. Next to that whale, even the female shark didn’t seem so big anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur took them back to the surface when John tapped him on the arm, informing him he needed to take a breath. He refilled his lungs while the merman slowly followed the whale on the surface.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Amazing, isn’t he?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John had to laugh, because that was just an absurd question. “I knew they were big but he…” He didn’t even have words for it. “How can he be so big?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur chuckled, amused. “And he ain’t even the biggest.” John found it hard to believe. How could any animal get bigger than this? “Want to go again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t even have to ask.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John took another deep breath and they went to meet the whale again. He swam slowly through the water, his big fins resembling the wings of a bird, he even looked like he was flying. He seemed so gentle and elegant despite his size, like he wasn't weighing a pound while he was probably as heavy as dozens of tones.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John watched the whale amazed, his dark skin on the top and a white belly. Arthur swam under the side fin when it was lifted and got closer to the head. John almost lost all of the air in his lungs when a surprisingly small but very human-like eye started back at him, actually stared. The whale shifted it to follow their movement and didn’t seem even in the slightest bothered by how close they were to it. If John wanted, he could reach and touch it but he was too amazed to move.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not to mention Arthur suddenly went right and swam away to make some distance between them and the male before rolling his body around. John had no idea why the merman did that when he noticed the whale doing the same, only much slower. He rolled to his right, turned on his back and then further, showing them his white belly and strange shells attached to his jaw.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>John couldn’t believe his own eyes, he watched astonished as the whale perfectly repeated Arthur’s movement and then continued swimming as if nothing happened while they returned to the surface.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After getting his breathing under control, John looked at Arthur smiling back at him. “You didn’t expect it, did you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t tell me you taught him that like you taught Boadicea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never seen this whale in my life,” Arthur laughed. “They’re just playful. But thank you for believing I would be able to teach a whale anything. If I could, I would make him jump out of the water for you, because that’s something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They can do that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They love doing that,” Arthur assured. “Let’s go again. He’s swimming away and I don’t want to take you too far from the land. You can touch him if you want to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He won’t bite my hand off?” John asked, concerned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur chuckled. “They don’t even have teeth, John.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But he can swallow me whole.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s possible. I’ve never seen it happening tho.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can be firsts,” John joked, not really scared of being swallowed. The whale looked harmless, he was more scared of getting hit by one of his fins that could no doubt kill him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Deep breath and let’s do this then,” Arthur announced, excited.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Smiling, John took another breath and they dived towards the whale one last time. It looked at them again and John was still amazed how similar to a human eye the eye of a whale looked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a fast beating heart, John carefully laid his hand near the eye, touching the smooth skin there. The animal didn’t react, it stopped even looking at them and just continued its journey. John held himself from smiling as he petted the huge animal as if it was a dog when suddenly a high, booming sound rolled through the water. John felt that sound in every fiber of his body and for a moment he thought Arthur made it. But it was too loud, almost painfully so and he would’ve felt the vibration of the merman’s body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was the whale singing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur moved away immediately and stopped a couple of feet away, keeping the distance as he responded with his own whistling sound. Water carried it to the whale that soon made another sound. The two continued their strange conversation even when the whale was getting farther and farther away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur could probably keep going for longer but John’s need for air was more important than talking with a whale and they got back to the surface, John taking in the fresh air with big gulps. “God damn.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur chuckled. “I’m glad you liked it,” he said. “Whales are amazing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They sure are,” John agreed, still not believing what he just witnessed, just like with the shark. The rest of the gang would never believe him if he told them he not only saw but also swam with the whale big enough that it wouldn’t even fit in their camp. They could line up all their horses one after another and it still could be too little to get the length of that animal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seeing it now he realized how really big they were. No description in any book could prepare anyone to see the real whale and not just a small drawing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Arthur,” he spoke to the merman. “For showing me another amazing thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He would never be able to do the same for Arthur, show him many great things that were on land. Even if they would follow rivers, there would still be a lot the merman wouldn’t be able to witness like John was witnessing wonders of the ocean now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing to thank me for,” Arthur assured, bashful. “The whale was there, all I needed to do was bring you to him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur wasn't right, he did a lot more than just carry John to the whale. And it wasn't only today but their other trips in the ocean as well. Arthur opened John’s eyes to the beauty the ocean held but he was too afraid to look at, even from the safety of the shore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he knew Arthur wasn't going to take credit for that so John wasn’t going to try to convince him. Instead, he placed a kiss on the merman’s shoulder and hugged him tight. “Then let me thank you for helping me calm down.” Without Arthur he would’ve still been angry at Dutch and just in a bad mood. Arthur made it better by taking him here, listening and finally showing him the whale.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re welcome,” Arthur murmured shyly, blushing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled and nuzzled into his neck, briefly pressing his lips to it. “Let’s get back. Someone promised me a tuna.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then you’ll be disappointed, they don’t swim around here in the summer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I knew you was lying,” John chuckled fondly. “You’re a lying asshole.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You love me for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John didn’t confirm it out loud, but certainly did it in his mind, nuzzling into merman once again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They enjoyed their swim back in silence, John still thinking about the whale. He wanted to draw it later just like the shark, to remember that day in a couple of years. If only cameras could work underwater, he had no doubt he would sell photos of the whale for a lot of money. Dutch wouldn’t complain then about him not contributing to the camp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The land was getting bigger in the distance, John could already recognize the characteristic rocks surrounding the bay where they were going. He almost didn’t want the swim to end but whatever he liked or not, being in the water, even a warm one, was making him cold rather quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He enjoyed the last minutes of the trip, looking around without any particular interest when something caught his attention. He squinted his eyes a little to better see the shape moving towards them at the top of the surface.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Arthur…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” the merman said before John could fully vocalize his concern. “I’ve been aware of it for a while now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John looked at him. “And you didn’t tell me?” he asked. He couldn’t decide if he was more hurt or confused by the merman’s behavior.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was hoping it wouldn’t get closer but it must’ve noticed us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You say it, you don’t know what it is?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I had to guess, I would say it’s a merperson.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Merperson. John looked back at the shape on the surface, now even closer than when he noticed it the first time. It was really fast. He couldn’t yet tell what it was, it could be a dolphin, or a seal, anything really. He kind of hoped it’s a merperson. He was curious how other members of Arthur’s species looked like and this one was probably a pure merperson so it could look nothing like Arthur.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I may have to let go of you if that mermaid will attack.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A Mermaid?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t focus on the ‘letting go’ part for now, a little thrilled by the chance to see another merperson and a mermaid at that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can see her body when I look underwater,” Arthur explained and put his head under the surface for a moment. “It’s definitely a mermaid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will she attack?” After what he heard about Arthur's colony, he wouldn’t be surprised. She was probably part of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I doubt it but if she will, I need to be able to move. So you need to go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great,” John sighed, not liking the idea of being in the ocean without a merman under him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll get you once I scare her away,” Arthur assured, looking back at him. He already had his eyes black and fangs out, ready for a fight. “Or kill her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if she kills you?” John asked, concerned about Arthur’s safety. He only now realized that the mermaid going their way had the same sharp teeth and claws and was just as good at swimming. And she would probably want to eat a human offered to her on a silver plate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe meeting another merperson wasn’t such a good idea after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then you’ll become her meal.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>John actually laughed, mostly because he started to become nervous. He didn’t even have a gun with him to protect himself. “I would prefer you eating me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can do that,” Arthur replied with a smirk that quickly fell. “Be ready to take a deep breath. I don’t know how long it will take me to get rid of her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was reassuring that Arthur didn’t consider losing but John was still worried when the mermaid got really close. She was only about eight feet away when Arthur hissed suddenly and made her stop. Her head and upper body appeared on the surface as she stared at them with black eyes she blinked away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The mermaid was smaller than Arthur and had no muscles compared to him. She had short, black hair and her scales, covering most of her body, had a deep blue color, much darker than Arthur's. Scales covered almost her whole belly, stopping slightly under her naked breast, even partially covering one of them. Both of her shoulders and arms, and a whole neck were scaled too but her face was free of them. If she was the one that saved him that day, John would have no doubt from the beginning she wasn't human while Arthur only gave out his secret by speaking in a strange way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was so strange to see another merperson. Even after knowing Arthur for a while, it still seemed surreal. Probably because of the amount of scales. She definitely looked human but so many scales were throwing him off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The mermaid didn’t seem aggressive, she even smiled at them but her face fell when Arthur let out another hiss. He clearly wasn’t risking it. John wished he had his gun with him. Maybe the mermaid was as scared of them as Arthur.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John expected the mermaid to start communicating with Arthur like the whale. Instead, she opened her mouth and said out a word.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aloha.” It was cheerful, so much so John was sure it was a greeting but he didn’t recognize the language. It wasn’t English, Spanish or French. And it definitely wasn't the merpeople’s language. Their confusion must’ve shown on their face, even on Arthur’s cautious one because the mermaid corrected herself. “Um… Hello?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John stared at the mermaid in shock. That was definitely English! He heard it right, he knew he did! Arthur did so too, the merman tensed under him once he heard that one word.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know English,” he said, still wary, but more open for conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The mermaid smiled friendly at them but there was also something like amazement in her dark eyes that suddenly focused only on John. “And you carry a human on your back. Is he your pet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John choked on his own saliva. “Excuse me? Lady, humans are no pets!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The mermaid laughed. “You’re right, I’m sorry,” she apologized. Her English was really good, with a thick accent but still easy to understand. She must’ve learned it from childhood. “I just never seen anything like that before,” she explained herself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now you have, what do you want?” Arthur asked, still suspicious and obviously not trusting the mermaid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm just traveling,” she answered, not bothered by Arthur’s behavior towards her. “I noticed you swimming and decided to say hi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Merpeople don’t just say hi,” Arthur noticed suspiciously. His words confused the mermaid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure they do,” she argued, watching them both closely before smiling again. “I’m Chechru.” She looked at John then. “It means…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Waves,” John finished for her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chechru’s eyes grew wide. “You know our language, I'm impressed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want?” Arthur repeated his question, not hurrying to share their names with the mermaid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you, I'm traveling all the way from Hawaii,” she said again and huffed. “Are you from that awful colony that I heard is nearby?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s it up to you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That would explain why you’re so rude,” she said with a smirk. “Everyone was telling me merpeople from your colony are rude.” The confusion was back on Chechru’s face. “But they also told me you hunt humans so why do you have one on your back?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s none of your business.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chechru rolled her eyes and John had to bite himself in the tongue to stop the laugh that almost escaped his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Arthur ain’t like that,” John said since the merman wasn’t going to be friendly. Understandably, he was afraid Chechru was going to attack. “He’s actually nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure he is,” the mermaid answered skeptically. “The first thing he did was hiss at me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s just not used to friendly merpeople. You seem to be rare.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” she asked, surprised. “Did he tell you that?” she pointed at Arthur. John frowned at her, confused. “It’s his colony that are freaks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you talking about?” Arthur asked. The tension was finally gone from his voice, he was just curious now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You stay away from everyone, you keep to yourselves,” Chechru listed. “You’re rude and generally unpleasant to be around. You don’t even want anyone near you. So we stay away, not wanting to get hurt. Everywhere else you go any merperson will welcome you like a friend. Well, maybe not everyone, every colony has assholes but generally we’re friendly.” The mermaid laughed, amused. “Don’t tell me you thought we’re all like your colony.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even without seeing Arthur face John knew he was blushing. And embarrassed Arthur could be grumpy so John decided to continue the conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you’re telling us that merpeople are a lot like humans?” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never met any humans or even seen one but I suppose?” she agreed without being certain. “A really rude merman lives next to me, I’ve met a few unpleasant merpeople and I'm not friends with everybody but we’re not aggressive like those assholes that live here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unbelievable. John was actually right. There were nice merfolks, Arthur wasn’t a freak, his colony was!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said you’re from Hawaii?” That was a long way from here as far as he could tell. John wasn't into politics but he read that Hawaii was under US rule right now or something. <br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chechru nodded and then corrected herself. “Well, not very close to it, you can’t even see the land from where my colony is, a big one. But that’s the right direction to find us. Between Hawaii and big land.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John wished he could see Arthur’s face right now because that must’ve been a big revelation for him. He probably had a lot of questions about merpeople’s society in a normal environment and John hoped he was going to ask them because Chechru seemed like she didn’t mind answering them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never seen merpeople from a different colony in my life,” Arthur admitted. All the aggression definitely left him by now. John hugged him tighter to help him cope with the news a little bit better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No one wants to get accidently killed by one of you,” Chechru explained. “It happened before. You don’t kill only merpeople that live with you, any stranger is killed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that sounds like my colony.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John wondered if Arthur ever heard about murder of another merperson that was unfortunate enough to be caught trespassing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s why I was surprised to find out you were from here,” the mermaid said, eyeing Arthur’s bare chest. John wasn’t sure if she was curious about his lack of scales or if she was interested in him. Either way he was a little jealous and didn’t like how she looked at Arthur. He placed his palm on the merman’s chest possessively. “You hate humans yet you seem to be friends with one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If she only knew it was more than friendship. But she didn’t need to know that. Unless she would try anything with Arthur.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And your colony doesn't?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chechru shrugged. “We stay away from them and eat them sometimes if we find a body but we don’t hunt them like you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t hunt humans,” Arthur hissed, offended that Chechru was referring to him as if to the whole colony.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I noticed,” she chuckled, looking at John. Who decided it was a perfect opportunity to join the conversation again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you know English?” He was curious about that since Chechru first spoke in this language.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chechru’s eyes filled with sadness all of sudden. “There was an old merman living near my colony couple of years ago, when I was still a child.” Now John wondered how old the mermaid was. She looked like a seventeen years old girl. “He arrived suddenly one day and stayed, keeping to himself. But he liked me well enough to teach me English and the languages of the people from the islands. I'm the only one in my colony that knows those languages but It's been a while since I used them talking to someone other than myself. I don’t know where Kahole knew English from. Or the language of the people of Hawaii. He called them natives and he looked a little like them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was interesting. Chechru didn’t know about turning humans into merpeople. That was probably what happened to a native in Hawaii, he became a merman one day and decided to stay near the colony of local merfolks. But not too close. Maybe he was afraid of what they would do to him if they knew who he was. But who turned him? And why? It must’ve been someone from Chechru’s colony but if she didn’t know the legend about the transformation, chances were nobody knew. Or one merperson tried and thought they failed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When John first met Arthur, he didn’t expect he would find out so much about merpeople one day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you learn English?” Chechru asked once she was done with her story.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“From my grandmother,” Arthur answered, a little confused. “She was a half human.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chechru snorted. “Half humans don’t exist,” she noted dismissively. “She probably learned it somewhere on her own and didn’t want you to know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She wouldn’t lie to me.” John didn’t know Arthur's grandmother but he too doubted she would lie to him about that. From Arthur’s stories John could tell she loved him and his mother the most in the world. And why would she lie anyway? “I’m sure that merman didn’t have much scales like I do. That’s the sign he was half human, just like me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chechru still didn’t believe him. “That’s just a silly legend, everyone would know if someone from our colony turned some human,” she noticed and she had a good point. Unless some traveling merperson turned her teacher. “If it’s true, why Kaholo never told me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, I'm telling you now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The mermaid huffed, irritated. “Fine, you don’t want to tell me, I understand,” she assured but it was clear it was eating her. She wanted to know the truth that she was just told. “I’ll go now, you was probably busy anyway.” Chechru turned onto her back and swam away like that, still watching them. “Come visit me in my colony one day. Bring your human too. Aloha.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John doubted he would survive a trip to Hawaii on Arthur's back but on the boat, why not? It would be a good way for Arthur to get to know actually friendly merpeople.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They watched Chechru swimming past them with some distance. She was probably still afraid that Arthur would attack her if she got too close.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t she say the same as a greeting?” John asked, confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think so,” Arthur mumbled back. “Let’s go home,” he decided and turned too, heading back to the bay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took them a few more minutes but after the final dive, they finally got back but only John stepped on land because Arthur wanted to catch them some breakfast. Maybe he wanted to be alone for a while too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John fully expected him to come back in an hour at best but Arthur actually came back after a couple of minutes holding two fishes and looking perfectly fine, like he wasn’t affected by what they found out today. He talked like nothing happened and it was driving John crazy, because he expected anything but calmness from the merman.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t seem bothered by what Chechru told you,” John mentioned, not even trying to sound casually.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur looked up at him from the fish he was eating. He hid his fangs before replying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Should I be?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It would be natural,” John noticed. He couldn’t tell how he would react after finding out that almost all his life was a lie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not that I'm shocked,” the merman explained with a shrug. “I wondered in the past if there are nice merpeople out there. I doubted it but it’s not like I never consider it. You mentioned it once too. If I wanted, I would’ve gone to find other merpeople and realized on my own that we’re a friendly species.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur moved out of his colony but not far.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The merman shrugged again. “I got attached to that place, I suppose. This coast is where I spent time with my grandmother and mother. Didn’t want to leave it behind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even at the cost of being alone forever?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All those years when Arthur thought he was alone, he actually wasn’t. In other parts of the ocean were merpeople that would happily welcome him into their colony. Some would even want to mate with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was happy that it wasn't what happened, otherwise he would’ve never met Arthur but it was still sad to think that Arthur spent so many years alone while he didn’t have to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Staying brought you into my life, doesn’t it?” Arthur asked with a fond smile. John blushed but smiled back anyway. “A small price to pay if you ask me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, and I'm glad for that,” he admitted nervously. “But who knows, maybe you would’ve met someone better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s impossible,” Arthur responded confidently, making John blush even harder. He watched as the merman tossed the fish carelessly onto the sand and crawled towards him. John laid down when it became obvious Arthur wanted to hover above him. He felt trapped under that muscled body and for a second time today, he felt a spike of arousal. And it wasn't even noon. “And even if you’re right it doesn’t even matter anymore. I don’t need nor I want better. I want you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop that,” John laughed sheepishly, feeling as if his face was on fire.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur smiled down at him, leaning closer. “It really doesn’t matter to me,” he repeated, nuzzling their nose together. John’s heart thudded in his chest, affected by Arthur’s word. “I don’t regret staying. Maybe if I met Chechru earlier, I might have regretted never leaving but with you here now? It was worth being alone for years. I don’t care what might have been. I’m happy with what I have.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John swallowed thickly, emotions gripping him by the throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too,” John admitted in a whisper, caressing Arthur's face before the merman kissed him long and passionately.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite the bad start, the whole ended up amazing in John’s mind. He saw a whale, a mermaid and spent most of the day cuddling with Arthur. In the evening, before the sun set behind the horizon, they even started playing cards, with John teaching Arthur how to play poker.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was getting pretty good at bluffing when John announced it was time to go home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stay,” the merman asked him with hope.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John knew he shouldn’t. Dutch was probably waiting for him but that was exactly the reason why John didn’t want to go back. Facing the leader right now would probably end just like in the morning – with argument. Or with silent treatment. Either way they wouldn’t resolve anything today so it was better to just stay away from each other for a little while longer and not ruin their days again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It also helped that he really wanted to stay even without a reason. He had for a while. Every evening when they needed to say goodbye, John desperately wanted to just stay the night, see how it would feel to spend it with someone, to wake up with other person next to you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will,” he responded without hesitation, even if it felt like ages before he gave the merman his answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur grinned happily at him and John had no doubt he made the right decision.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He led Old Boy down to the bay, taking his hay and the saddle with him. Arthur was already making himself comfortable near the fire, his tail in the water to keep it wet through the night. John picked up his bedroll from the saddle and joined him, placing the bedroll next to the merman, keeping his back to the fire.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The night was warm so there was no need to cover himself and Arthur’s skin stopped affecting him already so he didn’t mind its coldness when he scooted as close to the merman as possible. They wrapped their arms around each other and nuzzled close together, both already feeling sleepy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good night,” John whispered, kissing Arthur lightly on the lips. He felt them move on his when the merman responded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good night,” he whispered back and with a sigh, he closed his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John kept his eyes open for a moment longer, relishing in the sight of Arthur in his arms right before sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d never seen anything better. And he already couldn’t wait to see the same sight in the morning when he was going to wake up.  </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A new mermaid! And a nice one at that! Boys should really consider visiting Hawaii, they would like it there.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Father's Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This was the first time John woke up being in someone’s arms. He could feel Arthur’s body pressed to his, those strong arms holding him gently against the cold, hard chest. John opened his eyes sleepily, his gaze a little fogged as he stared at the toned muscles in front of him. Uncurling his hand squeezed between their bodies, he flicked his fingers over the smooth skin that smelled like the ocean.</p><p>He took a deep breath of that wonderful scent and moved his other hand that was placed on the merman’s ribs, stroking them softly up and down to the rhythm of Arthur’s steady breathing. The merman sighed in his sleep and wrapped his arms tighter around John, pressing him even closer to himself and nuzzling his face into the black hair.</p><p>John hummed, content and let his eyes fell closed again, his head nestled comfortably on Arthur's biceps. It was still early, judging by the very little light that was present, the sun not high enough yet to illuminate the bay in its warm glow. Because of that, the air was chilly, with the cold breeze coming from the water and only the dying fire behind John’s back giving some warmth in counter to it.</p><p>Arthur’s body was as cold as always but John wasn’t bothered by it, he somehow felt warm anyway, all of the warmth coming from inside, caused by how close he and Arthur were right now, by the wonderful feeling of waking up together after the whole night spent in each other’s arms.</p><p>John didn’t even want to get up yet, he felt good like that, with just the two of them safely hidden in their bay. He probably only woke up because it was around the time he would usually get up to meet with Arthur. But there was no reason for that now, he was already with Arthur and he didn’t need to be anywhere else.</p><p>Not right now, not ever.</p><p>So John let himself fall back asleep. He stilled his hand and curled it around Arthur’s middle, resting it on his back, his other once again tucked between them. Focusing on Arthur's breathing, he was asleep soon enough, a bliss clouding his mind like a warm blanket.</p><p>How did he live without it before?</p><p>When he woke up again later, it was brighter and warmer and they hadn't moved much. John shifted a bit higher in his sleep and now he could see Arthur’s face when he opened his eyes. The merman was sleeping peacefully and John couldn’t help but admire his long lashes, tiny wrinkles in the corner of his eyes, the fuzz on his cheeks and chin and every single freckle or beauty mark on his features.</p><p>John smiled, still amazed by this beauty even after so long already. And it was his. His to adore, his to woke up to, maybe also his to watch grow old over many years of waking up together like that…</p><p>With his smile growing bigger, John lifted his hand and brushed the hair from the merman’s forehead, enjoying how soft it was in his touch. His own was often greasy in the past but now he was keeping it clean and tidy for Arthur, wanting to look good for him so he could be proud of being with John like John was proud to be with him. It didn’t matter that there was no one to watch or judge them, because John wasn’t putting an effort for other people but for Arthur, who deserved the best.</p><p>And somehow Arthur thought of him that, even with scars and greasy hair. John had no idea how he got so lucky but if there could be anyone to watch them, they would certainly be jealous of him now.</p><p>His touch didn’t wake up the merman, even when his fingers grazed Arthur’s forehead briefly, making it wrinkle for a second or two before the merman’s face relaxed again in the deep sleep. John touched Arthur's cheek then and with closed eyes, he leaned closer, putting his mouth on the merman’s. When he felt the other lips stretch in a grin, he knew Arthur was awake now.</p><p>They both smiled into the kiss that started slowly and there was no intention of deepening it or making it faster. They were both still sleepy and just wanted to enjoy the remains of their sleep, relish in their closeness till the need for air became too great to ignore. And even then they just switched to light pecks and only really stopped when Arthur missed at some point, his lips hitting the fuzz under John’s nose, making him laugh.</p><p>“I don’t think I said it yet, but good morning,” John said softly and placed one last kiss on Arthur’s lips. Last for now, that is.</p><p>“Good morning,” Arthur replied and pulled his arm from under John’s head, stretching his long body and pressing it against John in the process. John wrapped his arm around Arthur’s chest almost unconsciously, making sure he wouldn’t drift away after the stretch. He was enjoying the merman’s body too much against his to let go of it just yet. “This had to be the best sleep I’ve ever had,” Arthur admitted, his voice even more scratchy than normal this early after waking up.</p><p>John chuckled, stroking Arthur’s shoulder where his palm rested. In return, the merman put his on John’s hip, touching it as well, up and down, enjoying the curve it was creating with the thin waist. “Yeah, mine too,” he agreed with a pleasant sigh. His sleep never was so peaceful as last night and he never felt so rested. If he could, he would sleep like that forever.</p><p>“We need to do it again sometime,” Arthur suggested, getting a little bold with his touching and slipping his fingers under John's shirt that got pulled out from his pants at some point of the night. It wasn't the cold that made John jolt a bit but the electricity that this touch seemed to carry. And those sharp claws that could tore his flesh apart but instead, they only scratched his skin gently, giving him goosebumps.</p><p>“We do.” John already couldn’t wait for the next time. Now that they tasted sleeping together, not doing it every night and falling asleep alone was going to be a torture.</p><p>He didn’t even want to get up yet and get back to reality, he wanted to stay in this happy bubble longer, lay like this forever, just the two of them, the ocean humming in the background and Old Boy huffing from time to time somewhere behind John's back.  </p><p>John saw in Arthur’s eyes the same desire, felt it in his touch, how he hugged John close again, both with his arms and tail.</p><p>The tail.</p><p>John looked down at it, curled around his legs like a deadly snake and preventing him from even standing up, as if John had any need for that when he was already content like this. The tail was out of the water completely, Arthur must’ve pulled it out in his sleep with his need to get closer to John. Who knows how long it was lying like that, away from the water and drying off.</p><p>“Your tail,” he said to Arthur and reached his hand towards it, fearing that after he would touch it, more than just a few scales would stay on his palm.</p><p>Arthur hummed, confused and followed John’s hand with his eyes. He didn’t yelp or even groaned from pain when John laid his palm on the dry tail. It felt so different after being out of the water for so long but John didn’t have time to marvel at the change of texture, he needed to know if it was okay. Gently, he moved his hand down, scared to see patches of naked flesh after scales would stay on his hand, but nothing of the sort happened. In fact, just a few scales were left on his palm when he lifted it from Arthur's body to examine the damage that didn’t even exist.</p><p>“I don’t understand,” John admitted, looking back up at Arthur. “It’s completely dry, ain’t you hurt? Feeling sick?”</p><p>“Oh, that.” Arthur just now realized why John was freaking out. A fond smile appeared on the merman’s lips as he brought his face closer to John’s and kissed him sweetly. It was John's time to be confused, but seeing his merman clam about this made him calm as well, even if he was still a little worried. “I can get sick if I stay too long out of the water but it takes more than just a few hours,” he explained. “My grandfather’s tail was getting itchy and losing scales very quickly but not mine or my mother’s. Or grandmother’s. I think it’s because we are part humans and we could stand being on land longer. That’s why you don’t see merpeople lazing around on the beaches like seals do.”</p><p>“But you don’t stay on land too long,” John pointed out.</p><p>Arthur shrugged. “Just because it doesn’t hurt doesn’t mean it’s not annoying.” </p><p>“I suppose it makes sense. I don’t like having dry hands either. The skin can break easily then.”</p><p>“There you go, you’re getting it,” Arthur teased, kissing him again. John smiled into it, glad that the merman was okay. And that he could stay on the land longer than he thought. “I would really like to get back to the water tho, let it flow through my gills and get my tail wet. I could get us something for breakfast as well.”</p><p>“Sounds good.”</p><p>John started the next kiss, longer than what Arthur gave him just a moment ago. Their bodies pressed close together automatically, seeking the already familiar closeness. John giggled when in his attempt to bring him closer, Arthur tickled his naked feet. It broke their kiss but neither mind, they just stayed close, their lips hovering over another.</p><p>“I’ll be back in a bit,” the merman assured, slipping from John’s embrace.</p><p>As much as John wanted to keep him close and be lazy a little bit longer, he had to think of the merman’s health and let him go, already missing the tail bounding his legs. Without a body to hold and colder than with Arthur in his arms, John sat up on his bedroll and watched the merman returning to the water, the dull colors of his tail getting back their glimmer once they were wet again.</p><p>Arthur stopped just a few feet from the shore and turned on his back to look at John. “Any special requests?” he asked with a grin and slicked back his wet hair to keep it from his eyes.</p><p>“No shrimps,” John replied, standing up to start tidying up around the campfire.</p><p>Arthur laughed, rolling in the water like a happy seal. John couldn’t help but grin stupidly at him. “No shrimps,” the merman promised and swam away, climbing the rocks quickly and disappearing in the deep waters.</p><p>John watched him for a moment longer in case Arthur would turn around and send him another smile or return to ask for something else, like another kiss for good luck in hunting. He was regretting he didn’t give Arthur one while he was cleaning his little camp. He packed his bedroll back on the saddle he then put it on Old Boy, preparing him for the road already. He brought some more wood for the fire that was just barely lit ambers by this point and he was just preparing some cans for breakfast when Arthur returned with fishes for them to eat.</p><p>Few minutes later, they were both enjoying their fish and cooked beans. John found some bread in his saddlebags as well but it was too dry to eat, so he gave it to Old Boy who should get his breakfast soon as well and that meant getting back to the camp.</p><p>John couldn’t say he was thrilled about it. He was kind of scared of what Dutch was going to say after he wasn't back for the night. Or what new accusations would wait for him. He wouldn’t be surprised if apart from his tent there was no camp for him to return to because Dutch decided that since John didn’t come back, he just left them and went to tell the law about their hideout.</p><p>It wasn’t completely impossible for Dutch to think so right now if he already started believing that John could ever betray the gang like that.</p><p>Ideally, John wouldn’t have to go back at all but he knew it was impossible. He wouldn’t be able to stay away, he loved his family too much to just abandon them without a goodbye. Not to mention everyone was probably worried about him, he didn’t warn them he wouldn’t be coming back for the night. If anyone was still there that is, he still wasn’t completely sure he wasn't exaggerating with the possibility of the gang leaving without him.</p><p>His good mood this morning turned sour very quickly after thinking about the mess he ran away from yesterday. And now he needed to return and set it right somehow. But how when he couldn’t even tell Dutch the truth about where he was the whole night?</p><p>God, it’s such a stalemate, he thought to himself, watching Arthur lick inside the can of beans, completely oblivious to John’s mood. Or maybe he just waited for the right moment to ask about it. Either way, John didn’t want to drag him down the well of bad mood with himself.</p><p>He shouldn’t be even thinking about the gang yet, not while he was still here. He should wait for the way home, then he could start worrying, now he should enjoy his morning with Arthur and how good it was to spend the night with him.</p><p>Their first night together.</p><p>“I really liked sleeping with you,” he admitted, wanting to get his mind off the problem with Dutch and focus on something nicer. Like how good Arthur's body felt against his. And how even better it would possibly feel if John was naked.</p><p>He felt himself blushing and he had to turn his eyes away when Arthur looked at him, licking his lips clean from the mess he made while stuffing his face full of beans.</p><p>“Me too,” he replied simply, a small smile playing on his lips that he licked again.</p><p>John was tempted to kiss them but hesitated and for a moment he felt like he still wasn’t sure if Arthur was returning his feelings, like they were still playing the game of the unknown. But then he remembered he could kiss him any time he wanted and as long as the merman was willing, so he did just that, sitting close enough that all he needed to do was to lean towards Arthur to bring their mouth together.</p><p>Arthur tasted like beans, obviously, but also fish and a flavor that was just him. John focused only on that and they slowly licked into each other’s mouths, their tongues lazily rubbing against one another.</p><p>“Never spent a night with anyone before.” John stopped the kiss only to say that and then he was back to kissing those tempting lips, not even letting Arthur to reply.</p><p>The merman didn’t complain, he hummed into the kiss and brought his free hand to John’s neck, kneading it gently and scratching it with his claws.</p><p>John shivered and climbed the merman quickly, causing him to drop the can of beans. Arthur realized it and broke the kiss, looking briefly at the can and what spilled out of it, and then at John. “I was eating that.”</p><p>“I thought you was eating me,” John answered cheekily. He grinned when Arthur did the same.</p><p>“You think you’re funny?” the merman asked huskily, moving his hand from John's neck to his face, following the lines of it with his claw.</p><p>John closed his eyes, trusting Arthur. He didn’t even shiver when the sharp nail brushed against his closed eyelid and the scar that ran across it.</p><p>“I know I am.” John blinked his eyes open when the claw moved to the scar across his nose, making it tickle. Arthur smirked smugly at him. “You always laugh at my jokes.”</p><p>“Maybe I laugh at you, not at your jokes.” Arthur moved his face closer, looking John into the eyes while his fingers kept exploring the scars one by one, almost worshiping them. The merman cocked his head. “Or maybe I’m just polite, you ever thought of that?”</p><p>John didn’t hesitate before answering. He knew how to talk with Arthur already. “I can be laugh at if that means I got to hear you do it,” he said, keeping his low.</p><p>A lovely blush raised to Arthur's cheeks but he didn’t shy away from John’s gaze. “Charmer,” he said only and after moving his finger through the whole length of the last scar, he seized John’s face and brought him to a deep kiss, the other hand tugged his hips closer. John returned the gesture quickly, placing his palms on the merman’s shoulders and stroking them as he kissed back with the same vigor till Arthur put the hold to it. “I think it’s pretty obvious-” he started softly, nuzzling his nose into John’s cheek. “-but I never shared a bed with anyone either,” he confessed, causing the thrill to run through John’s body. He loved whenever he was Arthur's first in anything. The merman chuckled unexpectedly. “Unless you count sleeping with my mother when I was little.”</p><p>John chuckled back, bringing his hands to Arthur’s face to keep it closer to his. They weren't even kissing anymore yet the closeness was so enjoyable he didn’t want it to end. “In my early days in the gang, I slept with Hosea whenever I had a nightmare about my near death experience.” He felt so stupid then, he was twelve, he wasn't a little kid yet he climbed into Hosea’s bed almost every night, seeking comfort that the older man had no problem giving him. He never laughed or shooed John away. He never told about this to anyone, he was sure not even Dutch knew about those early episodes but he had no problem with telling Arthur. His secret was safe with his merman and he knew he wouldn’t be laughed at. Teased, maybe, but all in a good spirit. “So we’re even.”</p><p>“Looks so,” Arthur whispered back, pressing his lips gently in the corner of John's mouth before moving away. “Let’s finish breakfast.”</p><p>“Your breakfast is on the sand,” John reminded him but he climbed from the merman anyway. Arthur had a brief concern on his face when he looked at the spilled beans. Then he was back to staring at John and grinned like a lunatic. Or like a very hungry merman ready to devour some human meat. “What?”</p><p>He barely finished saying that when his lap was suddenly full of a merman that threw himself across it and reached for John’s hardly touched can of beans.</p><p>“Hey!” he protested, but it was too late, Arthur already grabbed the can and when John tried to get it back, the merman’s tail pushed him away and into the ground, immobilizing him long enough for Arthur to escape. When John was up again, the merman was already in the water, floating on his back and licking beans straight out of the can with his tongue again. “God damn… bastard,” he hissed under his breath while his lips stretched in a wide smile.</p><p>With an irritated groan, but not a very convincing one, he sat back down and looked at the beans on the sand. They didn’t look that bad, some of them were still inside the can and not all of them on the ground were covered with sand or lying directly on it.</p><p>He carefully picked one with his fingers and popped it inside his mouth while watching Arthur enjoying John’s, now his, can.</p><p>“Still got the fish at least,” he said to himself and took the plate with it.</p><p>Arthur only returned when he licked the can clean and was sure that John wouldn’t be able to steal it back from him. John only nudged his with his elbow when the merman sat next to him again to eat the rest of his breakfast.</p><p>They were quiet, just eating, and so John’s thoughts wandered to the other day and what he and Arthur found out together by meeting Chechru. The mermaid shared some interesting facts and they both learned something new about merpeople, the most interesting information being how unique Arthur was.</p><p>He looked at the merman, happily eating his fish, currently biting its head off like it was nothing. He already ate the one John cut earlier from his own fish. </p><p>It was clear that he was different, the lack of scales on the upper part of his body was the biggest indication that he wasn’t like other merfolks. Yet Chechru didn’t believe them. Either she and other merpeople were really this thick-skulled that even seeing something with their own eyes wasn't enough for them to believe in it, or merpeople with less scales existed naturally. That or her colony had few half humans whose generations went so far back in the past everyone already forgot they were humans at some points, but the heritage remained in place and everyone got used to the fact that some of their neighbors don’t have as many scales as the rest.</p><p>He was really curious about all of this, were half humans common but just hiding who they were or were they rare and elusive like ghosts? He couldn’t even ask Arthur since the merman was stuck all of his life in one place, not having a chance to confront his beliefs with other merpeople.</p><p>But John asked anyway. Arthur was still a merperson. One coming from a colony of assholes that stayed away from everybody but he must’ve heard things about half humans and their legend since his family was so hated because of who they were.</p><p>“Yesterday’s meeting with Chechru got me thinking,” he started, getting Arthur’s attention. The merman slowed down his chewing and looked at him. “Humans turned into merpeople seems to be rare. If someone traveling like Chechru didn’t believe in them, there is a big chance most of your species don’t. Why is that?”</p><p>Arthur shrugged. “Chechru said they stay away from the humans. If you stay away from them, you can’t turn them.” John nodded. That sounded logical so far. “And if it’s as dangerous as my grandfather was saying, and needs to be perfectly timed, then no wonder no one is trying if they have any human worth turning. I wouldn’t risk trying turning you.”</p><p>“Yeah, I wouldn’t want to risk that either.”</p><p>John would be lying if he said he didn’t think about turning into a merman. But not only it was dangerous, he would have to leave all of his current life behind, his family and he wasn't ready for that, to never see or hear from them again, no matter how his relationship with Dutch looked right now.</p><p>He was in love enough to be willing to leave the gang for Arthur if he would have to but the entire life on land? To never walk through the forest, ride a horse, feel the soft ground under his feet? This he wouldn’t do. And he was glad the merman wasn't expecting him too. They could make their relationship work as it was now anyway, he knew they could. They were doing a great job so far, being from different worlds wasn’t a problem when it came to sleeping together. Maybe everything else wouldn’t be a problem either. </p><p>“Whoever turned Chechru’s mentor, they probably didn’t stay long enough to see if he transformed. That merman was lucky he wasn't eaten because my grandmother had to be protected by my grandfather, otherwise something would’ve eaten her. And if no one believes in it, why try anyway? Do you try every legend you ever heard of?”</p><p>“Not really.” John couldn’t recall any legend that people were trying to test like that. “But some people are curious and check places that legends are told about.”</p><p>“Do you participate in dangerous rituals as well?”</p><p>“I don’t think so.” He didn’t count Romani and their weird tarots cards and other means to scam people.</p><p>“Merpeople also had no reason to turn humans into us,” Arthur pointed out next. “My grandfather felt bad for my grandmother, that’s why he saved her instead of finishing her off and eating her but most merpeople will just eat a drowning human.” Most merpeople, but not you, John thought to himself. Would you have tried turning me if it was too late to pull me to the surface? “Grandfather didn’t even know if it would work, it was a wild guess, and if he was a second too late or too early, he would’ve believed for the rest of his life that turning human into a merperson was impossible. And friendships like ours are probably rare as well so no one has a friend or a lover to change to be together. Again, you heard Chechru, they stay away from humans, she thought you were my pet, not my friend of more, it didn’t even come to her mind.” John was still slightly offended by being called a pet. “My colony stays away from land altogether and while they’re freaks, it seems to be similar in other colonies. Most of the time we don’t even encounter humans, unless we actively hunt for them or find them already dead. Merpeople just don’t look for friends among humans. Out of fear, because they just don’t want to or don’t think it would work because we spend most of our time underwater, far from you. Even my grandmother didn’t dare to contact her parents on land or her friends. She was scared they would think she was a monster now and she would either be killed or sold as a trophy. You’re dangerous. No offence.”</p><p>John smiled sadly. “None taken. We like to kill everything that’s different. Just ask colored people.”</p><p>Thinking that a human's first instinct would be to kill a merperson upon seeing one wasn’t a stretch. He almost did so himself and he wasn’t even the worst example of the bad in humanity, if he could say so himself. Not every person in the world would be so bad, there would be many people eager to befriend a merperson, study them. But there were too many humans with too much power that would use merpeople to their advantage or just kill them because their tails would make a good trophy. </p><p>“I took a risk introducing myself to you but I had nothing to lose really. I assume other merpeople don’t even think about humans unless they find one drowned. And that’s the other problem. Apart from you, I’ve never seen a drowning human, only already drowned ones. My father liked watching them drown when he was hunting them but that was it.” As always, whenever Arthur mentioned his father he had a disgust and hatred written all over his face. “My colony hunts humans and even they don’t find humans every day. I’m surprised I ate two human corpses in a month honestly. Usually, if we aren’t hunting, we only find bodies. So if we only find dead humans, we can’t turn them. It’s already too late.” Arthur finished his speech with another shrug and looked at the fish in his hands. “So I guess I'm a bit special,” he summed up simply.</p><p>“That goes without saying,”</p><p>Arthur lifted his gaze immediately and John grinned at the pink blush painting his cheeks.</p><p>The merman snorted, a bit shy but also clearly happy with John’s words. “You’re such a lovestruck fool.”</p><p>Propped on his hand, John moved closer, Arthur's hypnotizing eyes watching his every move. The merman didn’t protest when John took the fish from his grip and placed it away. “That goes without saying too,” he repeated smugly and with his free hand, he pushed Arthur onto the sand and straddled him, leaning down right away to kiss him.</p><p>“Idiot,” the merman purred against John's lips.</p><p>“It’s not nice to insult your sweetheart,” he noticed playfully, trembling when Arthur’s hands slid down his back and gripped the material of his shirt, lifting it up teasingly but not sliding under.</p><p>“It is when he knows it’s just a fond joke,” Arthur replied and moving one of his hands to John’s hair, he brought him to another kiss.</p><p>John lowered himself onto the merman to have his hands free and to feel Arthur's body against his entirely. He moaned at the feeling and he felt the merman shivering in response, how his grip on John’s hair and shirt tightened.</p><p>With their chests pressed together, there weren't many places John could touch freely but he could caress Arthur's face, enjoying the feeling of the stubble under his fingertips, the soft hair in his grip or the rush of the blood in the pulse point on his neck.</p><p>And that pulse was getting faster and faster, so much so that John wasn't all that surprised when Arthur grabbed his ass suddenly and grinded their pelvises together. They moaned into each other's mouth and repeated the motion, together this time.</p><p>They never went further than some passionate kissing. Sometimes it caused them both to get aroused, the lust obvious on both of them, and not only because John had a bulge in his pants after and Arthur had the slit on his tail open. It was visible on their faces as well, in their blown out pupils and hungry gazes, in the heavy breathing.</p><p>They wanted each other, John desired Arthur for a while now, and ever since he touched the merman accidently and saw how beautifully he looked consumed by pleasure, he dreamed about him some nights or daydreamed before sleep, imagining touching him again, seeing him flushed and panting with pleasure in better circumstances than the first time.   </p><p>He didn’t know if Arthur had similar dreams but it was obvious he wanted John just as much. But something always stopped them, at the same time too. With all his experience, John couldn’t say he was ready to have sex with a completely different species, even one so similar to humans. He was scared he would do something wrong and scare Arthur away. Which wouldn’t be hard to do with the lack of experience Arthur had.</p><p>The merman didn’t have any past sexual encounters, he was probably scared too, if not about the sex itself, then to not disappoint his lover. They should probably talk about this, say what they expect and lead each other through the whole experience, but who the hell talk about sex? It wasn't supposed to be talked about, it was supposed to be done. How hard could it be? ‘You’ll know what to do’ everybody always kept saying but John didn’t know. Were they working the same, anatomically speaking? Would Arthur enjoy the same things as him? Would he fuck Arthur or Arthur would fuck him? There were so many questions that John wanted to ask but was too embarrassed to do so.</p><p>That’s why he was backing off every time before he and Arthur could start anything heated. He didn’t want to ruin their first time, Arthur's first time ever, but dear god, he wanted the merman so much. He was shivering so beautifully under John right now, letting out small gasps, his body getting warmer despite how cold it usually was. His skin almost didn’t feel like his when John touched his face.</p><p>He opened his eyes curiously and noticed how flushed Arthur looked already. He felt his fins shivering with his body, the tail twisting and turning, rubbing against John’s legs as they rutted against each other more and more desperate with each move of their hips.</p><p>John was already hard, there was no denying that and if the wet sensation he felt against his crotch wasn’t his own precum or the water that could still be on Arthur’s tail, then the merman was aroused too, jolting his hips up with a force that was able to move John lying on him.</p><p>That strength did nothing to tame John’s desire and they were getting close to the point where they wouldn’t be able to stop like always. John didn’t want to, he felt too good to just climb off the merman and pretend nothing happened, that it was just another intense kissing. They craved each other’s pleasure and they weren't hiding it. Not with the way they were kissing right now – hot and passionate, tongues tangled together. Not with the way they rolled their hips into each other – hard and desperate, making their bodies tremble with each snap. And certainly not with how their hands wandered over their skins. John never felt so good with someone’s hands on his ass, he didn’t even know Arthur would be interested in it but he was happy he was, because the merman’s hands were amazing, big and strong, squeezing John's ass cheeks like he wanted to say just with his touch that this was his.  </p><p>John couldn’t agree more and proceeded to kiss Arthur harder, showing the merman his enthusiasm, how much he liked what they were doing, what was being done to him if it wasn't obvious by now. John’s cock throbbed already and he was very sure now that Arthur’s own shaft was out, hot and wetting John’s pants as they rubbed their dicks together, desperate for a release.</p><p>John whimpered when it wasn’t enough anymore. He wanted skin on skin contact, he wanted their cocks touching without any barrier in the form of John‘s pants, he wanted to feel freely how much the merman wanted him.</p><p>It was painful to let go of Arthur's face to awkwardly reach for his pants, but he knew it would be worth it. It would be easier to just stop humping for a moment, get rid of his pants and return to the task at hands, but John couldn’t just stop by this point, every snap of their hips was bringing too much addicting pleasure and so they kept rutting against each other, with John desperately trying to keep returning the kiss while he also reached for his pants.</p><p>Arthur didn’t help him with that when with a needy moan he moved one of his hands from John's ass and brought him closer against his body, pressing their chest even tighter together.</p><p>To hell with it, John thought and returned his hands to Arthur's face, worshiping his handsome features with his fingertips, the touch so gentle in comparison to what the rest of his body was doing in his attempt to reach climax.</p><p>It was so close already he could feel it in how their bodies trembled harder and how their rutting lost its previous rhythm. That was it, he was going to cum, he was going to see, feel and hear Arthur do it as well. They were finally going to bond on another level when the spell broke suddenly with the unexpected touch of something very warm and wet coming into contact with John’s ear.</p><p>He pulled back from the kiss abruptly and sat up. “God damn it, Old Boy!” he shouted at the horse that just licked his ear. The gelding huffed at him and shook his head, his hooves stomping impatiently on the sand. Arthur looked surprised for a moment and then he started to laugh.</p><p>Any of that beautiful tension and pleasure they felt just a moment ago started to rapidly vanish. John was still hard in his pants and when he gazed down at Arthur, he could still see his cock peeking out from the slit, but Old Boy ruined the mood so much John wouldn’t be able to get back into it.</p><p>So close, he thought bitterly, glaring at the gelding while Arthur kept laughing. At least one of them enjoyed the interruption.</p><p>“I think he wants to go home,” the merman noticed and turned on his front when John stood up from him, avoiding looking at Arthur’s still visible arousal, suddenly feeling shy about it all.</p><p>“Couldn’t he wait a few more minutes?” John asked, walking up to the gelding. Old Boy tossed his head at him and huffed again. “Just because you can’t get any doesn’t mean I can’t either, you jealous bastard. You ruined everything.”</p><p>“Oh, don’t be angry at him,” Arthur said and crawled to him and the horse. Old Boy lowered his head when the merman reached his hand to him to stroke his snout. “We’ll have time to do it again,” he assured and smiled cheekily at John, a small blush dusting his cheeks.</p><p>John licked his lips and blushed too, and despite not being in the mood anymore, his cock stirred with interest in his pants. They didn’t get anywhere today but they wandered further than before. And Arthur’s words were filling him with hope that when they would meet next time, they would continue what Old Boy rudely interrupted today. Arthur was ready and willing and so was John. They’ll learn together how to pleasure each other. </p><p>“You’re staying on the cliff next time, mister,” he addressed the horse. Old Boy blinked at him, oblivious to what the whole situation was all about. John sighed and then smiled at his mount, stroking his neck gently. He couldn’t stay angry at his friend. “You’re lucky I love you, or I would sell you to the glue factory.”</p><p>Old Boy huffed again, his tail swatting behind him. He was probably hungry and thirsty, John should really get back. If he was to live with Arthur in the future, he would have to figure out what to do with Old Boy then. He wondered if building a cabin on the cliff and a small stable would be hard.</p><p>“Looks like it’s time to go home,” John informed Arthur and knelt next to him. “I really don’t want to.”</p><p>“You don’t have to.” Arthur crawled closer and propped himself on John’s legs to hug him. “No one is kicking you out.” The merman kissed his cheek tenderly. “I certainly ain’t.”</p><p>John rubbed their cheeks together, soaking in the feeling of the merman in his arms as they hugged. It felt better than any confrontation with Dutch that was surely waiting.</p><p>“Nah, I should get Old Boy back, feed him, give him fresh water and brush him,” he explained, moving away a bit to look at Arthur. “I don’t think returning here later would be a good idea after tonight but I’ll be back tomorrow, first thing in the morning.”</p><p>Arthur kissed him then, long and sweet, making John want to purr like a happy cat.</p><p>“I’ll be waiting,” the merman promised, whispering it against John’s lips.</p><p>John pressed their mouth together again. “I know you will,” he said with a fond smile as the merman climbed off him. “Bye.”</p><p>“Bye,” he replied, taking John’s hand into his and squeezing it gently. “Have a safe ride home. And good luck with Dutch.”</p><p>“Thanks.” John couldn’t stop himself and got on all fours to kiss Arthur one last time before finally standing up and returning to an impatient Old Boy. “Come on, you big baby,” he said to the horse, grabbing his reins. “You’re a nuisance, you know that?” Old Boy nudged him with his head, John chuckled. “Yeah, I love you too.”</p><p>John turned to Arthur and waved at him. The merman waved back and stayed where he was till John was out of his sight once he and Old Boy reached branches blocking the view. “Let’s face Dutch, boy,” he said as he sat in his little cart after connecting it with Old Boy. The horse started walking among the trees, leading them out of the forest. John sighed. “Who am I kidding, I’ll have to face him alone.”</p><p>He was used to Dutch being angry and having his moods but this felt different somehow than any other times. Probably because the reason for Dutch’s anger was never about John’s betrayal before and the subject was making them both on edge.  </p><p>After dealing with the cart, John finally headed home, feeling the dread wrapping itself around his stomach the closer to the camp he was getting. He deliberately made Old Boy trot as slow as possible but it was still too fast and he was really considering just walking on foot. Or turning around, getting back to the bay and never showing his face in the camp ever again.</p><p>But that was a cowardly way and John wasn’t like that. No matter how scared he was, he would face the challenge, even if Dutch had no right to act like that towards him. So maybe he really did stop bringing as much as he used too but he wasn't betraying the gang for god’s sake. Not that Dutch cared about what John had to say about it.</p><p>Javier was on guard duty when John finally arrived, feeling like he was stepping onto the gallows. “Ey, welcome back, amigo!” his friends greeted him cheerfully.</p><p>John smiled back at Javier as Old Boy trotted past him and into the horse’s pasture. Kieran, who was just resting nearby, jumped up to take care of John’s horse, but he stopped the boy and told him he would deal with Old Boy on his own.</p><p>He wanted to delay the confrontation but the longer he was taking care of Old Boy, the more John was noticing that Dutch didn’t care. The leader walked out of his tent to see him return but he didn’t come closer, didn’t start yelling, he just watched for a few seconds with an unreadable expression and then got back to talking to Molly like he was doing before.</p><p>John thought it was strange but he wasn’t going to look a gift horse into the mouth and didn’t seek an argument on his own. He probably should try to explain everything again, this time more calmly. Avoiding the subject wouldn’t bring them any closer to resolving it but he really didn’t want to yell again. Or Dutch to yell at him.</p><p>In some small way, he was a coward after all.</p><p>Once he finished with Old Boy, John ignored his want to hide in the tent and looked for something to do. He neglected camp chores for a while, it was time he worked some, maybe it would make Dutch happy with him at least a little. He started with chopping some wood because he noticed they were almost out. He picked the ax and went to look for a suitable tree to cut down.</p><p>Hitting the blade in the hard trunk, over and over again, was nice. He was tense since he returned to camp and finally he could release some of this tension, first cutting down the tree and then making it into smaller logs for the gang to use in the next few days. He cut one to last them this day and carried it to the fire, his shirt clinging to him with sweat.</p><p>That’s when he realized he never fixed his clothes and he looked with his untucked, partially unbuttoned shirt and crooked suspenders like he just finished fooling around with some lady. Messy hair wasn’t helping either. Others certainly noticed it and no doubt thought the same. It was too late to change his appearance so he just left it like that. It’s not like he had anything to hide anymore.</p><p>John took a break to drink some water before looking for some work again, finding it in a broken table. He was sure it was still whole yesterday when he was leaving. He wondered what happened to break it in half. Some of the boys probably fought while drunk and destroyed the table in the process.</p><p>No one took care of it yet so he did, stopping by his tent first to pick up his hat. It got too hot and the sun was unforgiving for those without cover on their head. There wasn’t much he could do with a table that broke in half but he did his best and by nailing a few small planks at the bottom to connect two broken halves, he fixed the table. It wouldn’t survive another fight – which turned out to be Bill and Micah’s doing, the latter having an impressive black eye – but it would handle meals and poker games.</p><p>“Nice to see you working again, Mr. Marston,” Susan commented while he was setting the table as it should be. He stopped and looked at the woman who looked a little angry at him despite her words. “You finally remembered what you’re supposed to do or the guilt bit you hard enough you couldn’t ignore it anymore?”</p><p>“Neither,” he replied. She blinked at him, surprised. “I just finally have time to help.”</p><p>“Being busy with chasing some skirt is not an excuse, John,” she scolded him. “You want to have fun, ask one of the girls, they will be happy to help you.”</p><p>He had no doubt about that, Abigail had a crush on him once and other girls wouldn’t have a problem with sleeping with him. Maybe only Karen since she was with Sean currently. But it wasn’t just about scratching an itch, that he could get in any saloon. Susan either didn’t know it was more to John or just didn’t care.</p><p>“I’ll pass,” he said and got back to work.</p><p>Grimshaw didn’t like that he turned his back to her, he could feel it in her gaze. “If you don’t work for the gang then don’t expect the gang to work for you,” she informed him. “Don’t bother with bringing your clothes to the girls to wash. If Mr. Pearson wasn’t so possessive of his pots, you wouldn’t get any meal either if I had anything to say about it. If you have time to go out so much, you surely have time to wash your own underwear. Or ask your mistress to wash it for you.”</p><p>John let out a huff of amusement. So this was his punishment for having his own life? For having a break? He worked for everyone for years, even for people like Uncle and Reverend but the moment he stopped, he couldn’t count on others working for him, he needed to be punished.</p><p>So much for their gang being family. He always thought families should keep each other’s back no matter what. Apparently nothing was for free.</p><p>Something was telling him Susan heard about his supposed betrayal too and she wanted to punish him for it, not for just finding someone, she didn’t have a problem with that earlier, but he was still angry at her for doing so. But fine, he could wash his own clothes, he wasn't retarded, Grimshaw made sure of that herself when she taught him how to sew and wash when he was still a teenager.</p><p>“Is this funny to you, Mr. Marston?” she asked, hearing him laugh.</p><p>“Hilarious,” he admitted, looking back at her. “Is that all, Ms. Grimshaw? I’m kinda busy, I don’t have time for nagging.”</p><p>Susan glared at him. “I pity your woman if this is how you treat her.”</p><p>“My woman is fine,” he mumbled under his nose, glaring at the table he tried to set straight, which didn’t take long. If only fixing the current situation was as easy as fixing a table. But the hammer and few nails would help him only if he planned killing himself. Which he wasn't.</p><p>He worked his ass off all day, doing things he rarely did in the past. He was left alone through most of it. Sometimes, like when he was helping the girls, he had company and talked with his friends. Other times they stopped by on their own but always quickly left whenever they realized he didn’t want to be interrupted.</p><p>By the time Pearson was done with dinner for today, everything was fixed in the camp, including repairs that waited for someone to do them for days now. John did every chore, took care of every animal, helped Pearson with the stew and even found time to wash his own clothes like Susan told him too.  </p><p>Dutch didn’t approach him once during all that, he didn’t even look into his direction and John wasn't sure what was worse, Dutch observing him like a hawk or acting like nothing was happening. Because that’s how it was. The leader talked with people, read his books, listened to his gramophone and looked like he was in a good mood, like their argument from yesterday didn’t take place.</p><p>John was sure he was turning crazy.</p><p>He waited for Dutch to take his portion of the stew before he took his own. He didn’t want to test his luck and cause an argument in the middle of the camp by standing close to the leader and provoking him into finally reacting.</p><p>With his bowl full, John joined Lenny, Charles, Sadie and Sean by their table, hoping that he was welcome.</p><p>“Can I join?” he asked just to be sure and felt relieved when friendly smiles answered him.</p><p>“Sure,” Lenny added, pointing at the empty crate next to himself. “Nice to finally have you back for dinner.”</p><p>“Sorry,” he apologized, bowing his head in shame. “I'm busy.”</p><p>Sadie snorted. “We noticed.”</p><p>“When you didn’t get back yesterday we thought a wolf ate you or something,” Sean said and laughed. “Again.”</p><p>“Nobody but you thought that,” Lenny noted with a smile and turned to John. “But we were kind of worried when you’ll be back.”</p><p>“You and Dutch yelled so much they probably heard you all the way in San Francisco,” Sean noticed.</p><p>John wasn’t really counting that no one heard them yesterday but he was still a bit disappointed it didn’t happen. “Yeah, Dutch wasn’t in the mood for the calm conversation.”</p><p>“I'm surprised he didn’t yell at you when you arrived,” Sadie said, amused.</p><p>“I'm not,” Charles spoke up for the first time. “There is nothing more to say. Now he’s just waiting.”</p><p>“Waiting for what?” John asked.</p><p>His friends shared a worried look.</p><p>“For the law to come for us,” Lenny explained.</p><p>So it was more than just Dutch speculating. “He told you all that?” he asked again, hurt. “That he’s waiting?”</p><p>“He didn’t say anything, but it’s obvious,” Charles explained. “That’s what you argued about. Dutch has his story, you said yours, what else should he do than wait? He can’t kick you out or kill you without evidence so he needs to wait for your move.”</p><p>“He seriously thinks I’m betraying the gang?” Stunned, he was simply stunned. He thought it was just Dutch’s paranoia speaking yesterday but he was really suspecting John of betrayal, of speaking with the law. He looked around his friends, distressed. “You don’t believe that, do you?”</p><p>“Of course not,” Lenny assured. “You’re the last person we would accuse of betraying the gang. You love it, you always loved it.”</p><p>Others nodded in agreement. It was reassuring but John couldn’t help but laugh that people that weren’t in the gang even a year yet, excluding Sean, had more faith in him than a man that raised him.</p><p>“Thanks,” he said, playing with the food in his bowl. He lost his appetite. “Wish Dutch believed so too instead of listening to some ridiculous gossip.”</p><p>“It would be easier if you told him what’s really going on,” Sadie suggested.</p><p>“Yeah, bring your lady here,” Sean agreed. “Unless this lady is a sheriff, then you better don’t.”</p><p>Sean’s attempt to brighten the mood failed. John dropped the spoon and rubbed at his face. “It doesn’t matter anymore,” he sighed. “At this point Dutch will think I brought a whore to fool him. I should have told him, all of you, from the beginning. But I was too in love to do so.”</p><p>He had a reason to keep Arthur a secret. At first he wasn’t even aware he was in love with a merman, he was just hiding the existence of a strange creature from people that could harm or use it. But then his feelings started to grow bigger and more obvious. That was the last chance to tell Dutch before everything escalated to what it was now but he was too possessive of those new feelings, too scared to risk Arthur’s life, too scared that Dutch would want to meet his mysterious lady and that he would have no excuses to not do that.</p><p>So he didn’t tell and he ended with a problem anyway. And with Dutch at the point where he wouldn’t believe in John having someone, not without seeing his mysterious lady and asking her hundreds questions to test if she really was who John would claim her to be. Earlier, when Dutch wasn’t that suspicious yet, John could’ve sold him some lie that he couldn’t introduce his woman to him and maybe Dutch would’ve accepted it. Maybe he would even get fooled by a prostitute. Or accept that John was in love with a man and that's why he didn’t want to bring him to the camp, out of fear.</p><p>Now it was too late for that. Dutch wouldn’t let himself be brushed off by some excuses. A woman or a man, he would want to see Arthur with his own eyes and talk to him to really be sure John wasn’t a traitor. Nothing else would satisfy him and prove John's innocence in his eyes. And he would no doubt notice if John would try to introduce a prostitute as his lover so that wasn’t even an option anymore. Hell, there was a chance that one of the boys would recognize her from the town. There was no safe way out of this situation, not without putting Arthur at risk. He had one earlier and he ignored it.</p><p>God, he was so stupid for not saying anything then. So, so stupid. And naïve for thinking it wouldn’t blow out in his face eventually, that everyone would just accept he had someone and not ask any question.</p><p>“You okay, Lenny?” John heard Sean asking.</p><p>John opened his eyes wide and snapped his head up so fast it made him dizzy. Lenny was staring at him with realization in his brown eyes and mouth open in shock.</p><p>Shit, John thought and gently shook his head. Don’t say anything, please.</p><p>Lenny kept staring at him before he snapped out of his shock and after nodding discreetly at John, he turned to Sean and smiled. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he assured, glancing back at John and clearing his throat. “Wrong hole,” he lied, patting his chest.</p><p>“I’m sorry for your lovers,” Sean cackled, forgetting about the shocked expression on Lenny’s face and his strange behavior from a second ago. Sadie and Charles didn’t buy the excuse as easily but they didn’t ask questions either, they just shared worried looks and watched Lenny and John suspiciously for a few seconds before returning to the subject.</p><p>“Well, you better come up with something to make him believe you again,” Sadie noted. “I can only assume it will get worse. If you don’t want to bring your woman here, then just leave. Tell Dutch you’re moving in with her. I doubt Dutch will kill you for it, for anything really, but he will stop worrying if we move without you. You won’t know where we’ll go after all, even if you’re selling us to the law, which I know you don’t, they won’t be able to do anything to us.”</p><p>“I have no plans to leave,” John told her. “Why would I?”</p><p>“I could come up with a few reasons,” Sadie offered.</p><p>“I'm fine right here, I’ll fix it some other way.”</p><p>He didn’t know how yet but he was going to do this. There was no way he would just leave, letting Dutch and others having less faith with him think that he betrayed them. He had a good name to keep. He didn’t want to leave anyway.</p><p>Sadie huffed, amused. “Suit yourself.”</p><p>They finished dinner with a lighter tone, letting Sean tell stupid jokes they usually hated but now they were almost life saving. Through the rest of the dinner, Lenny kept giving him knowing looks and it was making John nervous. A future talk was inevitable.</p><p>He finished first and hid in his tent right away, giving Lenny a message that he didn’t want to talk today and at the same time telling everyone he didn’t want to be bothered. John closed the flaps after himself and laid down on his cot, wishing he could be with Arthur right now, maybe even on the open ocean. That would help him relax and stop worrying about what he should do to make Dutch believe he wasn’t a traitor. He never was and never would be.</p><p>Without Arthur here and no ocean to make soothing sounds, John took the second best thing to clear his mind.</p><p>His journal.</p><p>He pulled it out from his satchel he hung on the chair and returned to the cot, laying down again and opening the journal in the middle. A drawing of some fish greeted him, Arthur drew it for him two days ago when they were sketching together during sunset, before it got too dark for John to continue his drawing of a bear for the merman.</p><p>Smiling, he turned the next few pages to get to an empty one and start the next sketch, deciding on the whale from yesterday. He was sketching faster than just a few weeks ago and soon the outline was finished and he started applying any details he could remember.</p><p>He was halfway done and very proud of his drawing, already wanting to show it to Arthur, when he heard knocking on one of the poles making the tent.</p><p>“Can I come in, John?”</p><p>It was Hosea, probably the only person John wanted to see right now. The older man always knew how to help him, John wished he could tell him about the whole situation so they could find the solution together.</p><p>He sat up, the journal open in his lap. “Sure.”</p><p>Hosea entered, looking around before finally focusing his gaze on John. The older man smiled. “Are you hiding in your tent again?”</p><p>“I was out a whole day.”</p><p>He didn’t want to admit he was really hiding.</p><p>“Fair enough.” Hosea approached John, sitting next to him on the cot and pointing at the journal in his lap. “What are you drawing.”</p><p>John passed the journal to Hosea, a bit anxious about the older man reading his notes, even though he knew Hosea never read them, respecting the privacy of his thoughts. And there was no drawing of Arthur that he would see because John made sure to tear them out all the time. He was hiding them in one of his books.</p><p>“A whale,” he replied, licking his lips nervously, both because drawing a whale wasn’t very common and because of what Hosea was going to say about his progress.</p><p>“Ah, yes, the humpback whale.” John was surprised Hosea recognized the species. “Magnificent creature.”</p><p>“You ever seen one?”</p><p>“Not outside of books,” Hosea replied, going through the journal, watching both his drawings and those Arthur made. “You?”</p><p>“Saw one jumping out of the water,” he lied, remembering how Arthur mentioned they do that. “Had to draw him.”</p><p>“Must’ve been quite a sight.”</p><p>Hosea didn’t sound like he was suspicious of something but John was nervous regardless, playing with his fingers. He hoped Hosea thought it was because John waited for him to say something about the quality of the drawings.</p><p>“It was.”</p><p>Hosea nodded. “You did it justice. You’re getting better.”</p><p>“I’m practicing a lot,” John admitted, uncertain.</p><p>Hosea looked up from the journal to glance at him. “With your mysterious lady?”</p><p>He expected Hosea not to beat around the bush with that subject. No one seemed to do that anymore.</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Hosea smiled warmly at him. “Figured,” he chuckled. “Some pictures in this are far too good to be yours.” John blushed, Hosea turned a few pages in his journal. “And I figured you didn’t fancy drawing self-portraits suddenly.”</p><p>Hosea lifted the journal to show him the portrait Arthur drew there a few days ago on the lazy day on the beach. John let out an amused huff and lowered his head, bashful.</p><p>“She has her own journal to draw but she likes to steal mine and draw in it, leave me nice pictures.”</p><p>It was sweet of the merman. It was making John’s journal a little bit more pretty, finally containing good art. John liked to look at those drawings before going to sleep, recalling what they saw through the day and what Arthur found worth leaving on paper.</p><p>Looking at his portrait was always making him giddy but also a bit embarrassed. He wasn't worth being drawn but Arthur was doing it a lot in his own journal and always much too pretty compared to the reality. Coming from under Arthur's hands, even John's scars didn’t look too bad.</p><p>John raised his head again when Hosea lowered the journal back into his lap and looked at the portrait.</p><p>“She’s good,” he admitted, his words filling John with pride. “The way she drew you here… It’s like she put her whole heart into it, seen the beauty only she see.” Hosea looked back up at him and chuckled. “And I ain’t talking about your scars.” John chuckled as well but with less amusement and more nervousness. Hosea looked away, a longing look in his eyes. “I liked to draw Bessie like that,” he admitted with a sad voice. John felt his heart crumble at that tone and without hesitation, he placed his hand on Hosea’s palm and squeezed. The older man smiled at him, grateful. “This girl is something.”</p><p>John slid his hand from Hosea’s, blushing again.</p><p>“She’s amazing,” he agreed quietly, shyly. He wasn’t yet used to speaking fondly like that about anyone.</p><p>Hosea’s smile grew as he leaned closer and looked around like he was about to tell a secret. “Is she pretty?”</p><p>John laughed, which Hosea quickly joined with another soft chuckle. Shaking his head, John’s face grew even hotter but he was sure his eyes were shining with pride. “Very.”</p><p>If only Hosea could see the beauty that was Arthur and his sparkling tail. </p><p>“But it’s not only the pretty face this is about.”</p><p>John shook his head. “I’m in love, Hosea,” he confessed and laughed nervously. “Absurdly so.”</p><p>“I wasn’t asking.” Right. Everyone knew already. John looked down at his hands, blushing again. “Are you going to tell Dutch?”</p><p>“I thought he knew,” he said, surprised and looking at Hosea again.</p><p>“Oh, he knows,” the older man assured, closing the journal but not giving it back. “He’s in denial but he knows. And I’m sure he would like to be introduced to a woman that is trying to make an honest man out of you.”</p><p>“That’s impossible.”</p><p>Hosea straightened his back and looked at the roof of the tent, considering. “I disagree. You just need to pick up some manners and-”</p><p>“My manners are fine,” John interrupted him with a smile that couldn’t stay on his face long. Not when he was so worried. “I’m talking about telling Dutch.”</p><p>Hosea looked back at him, curious. “And why is that?”</p><p>“She’s… She doesn’t fit our world,” he decided on saying after a few painfully long seconds.</p><p>“You fear he wouldn’t accept her? Is she old or new money, or…”</p><p>“No just…”</p><p>How was he supposed to say it? No excuse seemed right.</p><p>“The outlaw life,” Hosea guessed, unknowingly helping John in the process.</p><p>“Yeah,” he nodded and gripped his knees tight. “She could never join us, Hosea. So I don’t see the point in introducing her to Dutch.”</p><p>Hosea wasn’t giving up. “I still think he would like to meet her. See her with his own eyes rather than just hear about her through gossips that are told around the camp.”</p><p>“There are gossips?”</p><p>He was a little curious what other gang members were talking about his mistress.</p><p>“A few. Silly ones if you ask me.”</p><p>“Are there gossips about me being a rat?”</p><p>He was scared to ask that but he needed to know.</p><p>Hosea scratched his chin. “Not that I heard of, no,” he answered and sighed in irritation. “And I wouldn’t because if someone is spreading them, him, oh excuse me, they,” he corrected himself. “Don’t want to point fingers.” John smiled. “Anyway, <em> they </em> don’t talk to me about it. Or to anyone really.”</p><p>Of course. If it was really Micah, then he was only speaking to Dutch. His bootlicking never worked on Hosea.</p><p>“I thought so,” he sighed sadly. He couldn’t even deal with those gossips. What could he do? He couldn’t really kill Micah.</p><p>“That’s why you should introduce your lady. To Dutch at least if you’re scared others would do something to her.” He feared Dutch would do something to Arthur too. The only one he could really trust about this was Hosea, and even the thought of telling him was scaring John. “You can’t just keep her a secret forever.”</p><p>“She’s not exactly a secret anymore,” John pointed out. He even started talking about her. Only with closest friends but it was something.</p><p>“I suppose not,” Hosea agreed, stroking his legs, looking very relaxed while John was still tense. “So, if she joining us is out of question, what’s your move?”</p><p>John groaned.</p><p>“You too?”</p><p>Hosea raised an eyebrow at him. “I assume someone already asked you this.”</p><p>“I'm not going anywhere, Hosea,” he promised.</p><p>“For now.”</p><p>John frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”</p><p>“You don’t want to tell me you’re going to just jump between the gang and your woman, are you?” Hosea asked, sounding very disappointed.</p><p>“And why not? The gang is here, Ar…” He almost slipped. “She’s here.”</p><p>“We’ll move one day,” Hosea reminded him. And John knew about this. He knew they wouldn’t stay here forever but he was ignoring it so far and now the realization hit him like a fist to the face. They would have to move and he wouldn’t just leave Arthur behind. That was out of question. “What are you going to do then?” Hosea kept asking all the important questions that John should’ve asked himself a long time ago. He turned his gaze away in shame, his lips pressed in a thin line. “Travel for miles and days between here and wherever Dutch will take us next? You don’t treat a woman like that. Or anyone you care about for that matter. Do you want to leave her worried for weeks whether you’ll be back or not? No one will even send her a note or a body if you die.”</p><p>How stupid he was thinking it would work. Arthur and him couldn’t live without each other for a week when John was shot and recovering. How could they survive weeks of that? Months?</p><p>“Do you want to worry yourself if she’s alright on her own at your home while you’ll be with us?” Hosea continued, probably already aware how his questions were affecting John. He was terrified by them because there was only one way to deal with them and he already knew what he would do. “Would you even be able to call it a home when you’ll be gone so much? It’ll be a hotel for you.” Hosea put his hand on John’s shoulder, causing him to look at the older man. “Listen to someone who’s been in your position before, you’ll only hurt everyone and yourself. The homesickness will pass, Dutch will realize he doesn’t have to be bitter about you leaving and the guilt for making you choose between the gang and her won’t last forever either. Unlike regret if you let go of what you got here, John. And you got something precious. You can’t live two lives at once, you can’t be a perfect son and a perfect husband all at once. You’ll have to choose, commit to one.”</p><p>“What if I already did?” he blurted out.</p><p>There was no doubt in him that he would choose Arthur, try to be with him, even if only to return to Dutch after some time with his tail between his legs. He would rather try and fail than not try at all, to give up what he and Arthur had. It would pain him to leave Dutch, the man saved his life, taught him so many things and along with Hosea made him a man he was now. They spent many years together, some better, some worse. But John deserved to have his own life outside of Dutch and the gang. To make new bad and good memories with someone else. And he wanted that someone else to be Arthur.</p><p>“I don’t want to leave but I know I will when the time will come. I just don’t know how to tell Dutch. He already speaks about my betrayal and is angry with me. If I tell him now that his golden boy will leave, he’ll be furious.”</p><p>And the last thing he wanted was to part with bad blood between them. He wanted them on good terms, for Dutch to be happy for him, for them to write to each other, maybe even for the leader to visit so John could one day tell the gang about Arthur.</p><p>“Tell him when you’re ready,” Hosea suggested. “But tell him. It won’t do you any good if he finds out from somewhere else. He already fears you’re going to leave, don’t let him think it’s because you betrayed him.”</p><p>“He’ll think so no matter what I say now, he won’t believe me,” he said hopelessly and dropped his head down, hiding the tears in his eyes. Nothing he would tell would work now, it was too late for such confessions.</p><p>Hosea nudged at his chin, coaxing him into looking up. “He will,” he promised, smiling warmly at John, looking him deep into eyes. “The love in your eyes when you speak about her is hard to miss. It’s even in the goddamn drawing for god’s sake. And Dutch know how the love looks like.”</p><p>Hosea put the journal away and stood up but he didn’t leave. He stood in front of John and leaned down to kiss the top of his head. John choked on his sob and clung to him, hiding his face in the older man’s belly, desperate for comfort from his father. “It’s going to be alright, John,” Hosea whispered, stroking John’s hair gently.</p><p>John desperately wanted to believe him but he wasn't sure he could right now, not with Dutch not speaking to him, ignoring him and instead listening to Micah.</p><p>But his words brought some peace and he was going to hold onto them, just like he held onto Hosea as he wept like when he was a child woken up by the nightmare and Hosea was always ready to sooth him back to sleep.</p><p>Always there for his son.  </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I love writing strong man crying. It makes them even stronger in my eyes and those boy's don’t cry enough in the game.</p><p>Hosea once again won The Best Dad contest while Dutch was disqualified before it even started.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Flame In The Water</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Where John woke up yesterday well rested and feeling simply amazing, today he felt like crap. He cried in Hosea’s arms for a good few minutes, sure that everyone who walked near his tent heard how pathetic he was being. But he couldn’t help himself, all those worries crashed into him all at once and he just had to let go.</p><p>It tired him so much he went to sleep shortly after he got himself together enough to let go of Hosea. The older man assured him one more time that everything would be fine once he would tell Dutch but John knew it wouldn’t be okay. Not when the situation escalated so much already.</p><p>Telling Dutch about leaving in the future would be the perfect solution to his problem if his mysterious lover was a regular human and a woman, not a mythological creature of the same sex as him. As of now, he simply couldn’t avoid introducing them, which he was aiming for now. Dutch, or anyone really, wasn’t yet ready to meet Arthur. John would have to prepare him for the shock first and even then it was still a gamble what Dutch’s reaction would be and if he wouldn’t try to hurt the merman or call John out of his mind for loving something like that.</p><p>Right now Dutch wasn't in the mood to be lectured about mythology and asked to react without fear anyway. If John tried to explain Arthur and what Dutch was going to see, the older man would either think John was making fun of him or that he lost his marbles.  </p><p>Some other solution was needed.</p><p>If he was to tell Dutch that he had someone and he would be leaving the gang when the time would come, John needed to gain his trust back first, so Dutch wouldn’t demand to meet his sweetheart. Only this way Arthur would be able to stay a secret and most importantly, safe.</p><p>But how to gain Dutch’s trust when he’s visiting Arthur every day, which caused Dutch to lose his trust in the first place? If telling the truth was out of the question, he needed proof of his loyalty. There was no one in the gang to vote for him. Even if everyone trusted him, they haven’t seen his lover either, simply admitting that they believe John wouldn’t be enough for Dutch. One person was enough to plant doubt in John in him but to turn it around? John would need a whole army of allies and even that would be too little to convince such a stubborn mule like Dutch.</p><p>There was no way for him to prove he wasn’t working with the law. He couldn’t go to the sheriff and ask him to confirm that, that would be ridiculous and clearly Dutch wasn’t believing anyone’s word.</p><p>No, John needed something big, something that couldn’t be dismissed just like that. Something like a big score where he would get a lot of money, kill many lawmen coming after him and other people working with him. That would prove he wasn’t working with the law. He wouldn’t shoot them if he wanted to get something from them for giving up the rest of the gang.</p><p>But there was no big score around. It was a small town and the biggest robbery already happened. Everything else was covered by fellas like Javier and Micah while John was busy being in love. All he could do was rob locals from the little money they had.</p><p>Or he could steal cattle but he was never good at this. Drawing the law’s attention just to kill them would be stupid and risk loosing some of the animals, wasn’t worth it. And finally for some gang members it could be not enough. What was the assurance that he didn’t just give the livestock to the law and get money from them just to pretend he was doing his job?</p><p>He supposed he could rob a bank, they never did it here yet but organizing a robbery in the middle of the town required leaving right away, before the law would look everywhere around for them. As far as others told him, they avoided that with the army by robbing them far from town, closer to the fort. Soldiers didn’t even search past the town where the gang was hiding. With the bank they wouldn’t be that lucky. Within the next few days, the sheriff and his deputies would call for the army for help and a whole bunch of people would search everywhere, at least a couple of miles radius around the town. The gang would be found and even if not, they wouldn’t be able to go to town for supplies anymore. They couldn’t just live from Charles’ hunting or by stealing from ranches. Not to mention constant patrols of the law and bounty hunters that would smell blood with this robbery would be a pain in the ass while traveling.  </p><p>Someone could search the forest at the coast and find the path to the bay. Arthur could be in danger too.</p><p>He needed some other robbery, something less risky. If any robbery could be called that. For now, the bank would be his last hope in case he wouldn’t be able to find anything else and he became desperate. Which he wasn’t. Not yet.</p><p>“What a goddamn mess,” he sighed and sat up on his cot, rubbing his tired eyes. He really slept poorly that night. Any rest he gained the other night with Arthur wasn’t there anymore. He already missed sleeping with the merman.</p><p>Without the usual rush, he stood up and started to get ready for leaving for today. He yawned through all of this, if he didn’t promise Arthur he would come in the morning, he would’ve just got back to bed and slept till noon or even longer.</p><p>He was putting his gun belt on when someone knocked on the supporting post of the tent.</p><p>“Come in,” he replied and yawned again.</p><p>When he turned to the entrance, Lenny was standing there, looking slightly nervous but mostly curious. John stared at him, wondering if there was a chance to get rid of the kid somehow but that wouldn’t be fair to Lenny. And it probably wouldn’t work anyway. Lenny knew too much to give up.</p><p>Neither of them said anything but it was obvious Lenny was dying to speak about what he found out yesterday. In terms with his lack of escape, John motioned at his bed for the kid to sit.</p><p>Lenny licked his lips nervously and shuffled closer, sitting down on the very edge and fidgeting slightly, looking at the floor. It was unusual to see him like that, he was usually more collected, surprisingly so for such a young age when he should be more impulsive and hotheaded. Like John was his age.</p><p>But Lenny was always a good kid, ever since they picked him up over half a year ago.</p><p>“Speak whatever you want to tell,” John encouraged him, taking a seat on the lone chair.</p><p>Even after those words, Lenny still needed a few more seconds to start talking about what hopefully wasn’t bothering him. He didn’t seem disgusted or wary of John so far.</p><p>“So… This Arthur fella ain’t just a friend,” he decided to say finally.</p><p>John was nervous himself but he managed to snort at that. “He ain’t,” he confirmed, carefully watching Lenny’s reactions.</p><p>The kid nodded in understanding, still no disgust or resentfulness on his face. “Didn’t know you like men.”</p><p>No surprise there, those kinds of things were meant to be kept a secret. Especially if folks would kill you for that.</p><p>“I like both if that makes any sense,” he admitted. He always liked women and their soft bodies but rough and hairy bodies of men were always doing it more for him. Only it was harder to find a male lover and not every woman, even prostitutes, were fond of playing with his ass when he felt like that.</p><p>“I suppose.” Lenny finally looked at him. “I mean I only like women, I think, but I don’t mind anyone loving others. Folks love who they love, right?”</p><p>Even if that someone is a merman from the ocean?, John wanted to ask but instead only nodded. “Right,” he said and cleared his throat.</p><p>It was strange to tell someone about his attraction to men, he never done this before, only he and men he had sex with knew that and even then he was making sure to keep his identity a secret, and before starting something, he was making sure the men offering to suck him off behind the saloon wasn’t just some fella looking to beat an eager invert.</p><p>Liking a man was dangerous in this part of America and so John was always careful to never reveal that part of himself to anyone. Until yesterday at least. But he was playing with that fire for a while now, ever since he spoke Arthur’s name in his feverish state. Of course he had no control over it but he should’ve suspected Lenny would figure it out eventually, especially after John started looking like a lovestruck fool. He was a smart kid and it was surprising how long it took him in the end to learn the truth. He probably had too much faith in John’s acting skills. Or was really naïve if he thought all those smiles and expressions on John was signs of a deep friendship.  </p><p>No more naïve than you thinking he wouldn;t notice eventually, John thought to himself.</p><p>“Is that why you don’t want to tell Dutch about him?” Lenny asked, pulling John out of his thoughts. “Because he’s a man?”</p><p>If only. Explaining that he loved a man would actually be easier. But he couldn’t exactly tell Lenny he was afraid that Dutch could kill and stuff his sweetheart to sell him to a museum. Or sell him alive to a zoo or some circus to entertain folks.</p><p>“I’m not sure how he would react,” he answered, which wasn’t a lie so Lenny couldn’t pick it up and John felt a little bit better with himself as well.</p><p>“Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad,” Lenny noticed, sending him a reassuring smile. “Dutch is very accepting to colored people. And he doesn’t mind Sadie working like a man. Maybe he accepts inverts too.”</p><p>“I won’t take that risk.”</p><p>There was too much to lose.</p><p>“Then what are you going to do?” Lenny asked. “Dutch ain’t gonna stop thinking you’re a traitor.”</p><p>“Then I’ll prove to him I ain’t one.” This was the only solution since he let others fly away right in front of him. And he could only blame himself for that. “I just need to do something that can convince him.”</p><p>“And how are you going to do that?” There was doubt in Lenny’s voice.</p><p>“I ain’t sure yet,” he admitted, feeling stupid that he didn’t have a plan ready yet. He was basically hoping that a good opportunity to prove his innocence would fall from the sky soon. “Maybe if I bring him big money I can convince that the gang is still important to me.”</p><p>Which it was. It would always be a part of his life, part of his history and the reason he was still alive to this day. But a man needs to reevaluate his life at some point and this was the one for John. He would miss the gang one day but he wanted to try being with Arthur, live another life. It’s time, he thought to himself. He gave so many years of his life to Dutch and being an outlaw and he was tired. He didn’t realize it till he met Arthur and discovered he could have something more.</p><p>Next few years, maybe even the rest of his life, will belong to him entirely. And to a certain merman.</p><p>“Or he’ll think the law paid you to lower his suspicions,” Lenny pointed out. John was afraid of that too. “Unless someone will do the job with you and confirm it was a real robbery,” he said with a confident smile and stood up. “Let me know if you find something, I’ll help you. Hopefully Dutch won’t think I’m part of this and he’ll believe me that you’re loyal.”</p><p>“Thanks, Lenny.” He smiled at the kid, grateful for his support. That, along with the trust others had for him and Hosea’s assuring words from yesterday were making John believe that he could do this. Prove his innocence and admit to leaving. And that Dutch would be sad but happy for him in the end, not thinking he was a rat.</p><p>He really hoped it would be alright.</p><p>“No problem. Friends help each other.” Lenny stepped closer and laid a hand on his shoulder. “You was a great help to me when I joined the gang, it’s the least I can do. I hope I can meet this Arthur fella one day.”</p><p>“I hope so too.”</p><p>Arthur would be ecstatic of having the chance to meet more people and get to know John's friends. And John would be proud of showing off his lover.</p><p>“I better get going,” Lenny noticed, looking at his pocket watch. “You was probably on your way to Arthur and I interrupted you.”</p><p>“He’ll be fine,” John assured him so the kid wouldn’t feel guilty.</p><p>Arthur was an adult, he could handle being alone half an hour longer. But who was John to tell when he was missing the merman every possible second of the day when they were apart?</p><p>“Still don’t want to keep him waiting, lover boy,” Lenny teased.</p><p>“Get out of here,” John rushed him annoyed but grinned anyway.</p><p>The more some people knew about his secret, the better he was feeling not having to bear all of this alone. Lenny was definitely the right person to know the truth first, he already knew so much, more than anyone, and he was very open minded. Maybe telling him wouldn’t be so bad and John would get a valuable ally.</p><p>He would have to think about it. But for now, he had other things to do, like visiting a certain merman.</p><p>He finished getting ready and left the tent to do the same with Old Boy. While carrying his saddle, John divided from the usual path and walked closer to Dutch’s tent. The gang was mostly awake already and the leader was among them, sitting in front of his tent with Hosea, drinking coffee and discussing something together. John wondered if they were talking about him but he couldn’t listen in because they stopped once he got closer.</p><p>Dutch watched him with sharp eyes as he passed by. John decided to act like nothing happened. “Morning Dutch, Hosea,” he greeted them, hoping that the tension in his voice wasn’t audible.</p><p>“Hello,” Hosea replied cheerfully right away.</p><p>Dutch wasn’t as eager or even half as cheerful, it took him just a bit longer to answer but it felt like eternity to John. “Good morning, John,” he said finally, suspicious and hostile.</p><p>John gritted his teeth and quickly walked away. This wasn't a good idea. What if Dutch was going to think he wanted to provoke him? Hopefully he just didn’t make it worse.</p><p>One thing was certain, he made Dutch observe him more today while yesterday the leader wasn’t even paying attention to him. John had his answer from the previous day, being watched was definitely worse than being ignored. At least then he could pretend Dutch wasn’t angry with him and didn’t treat him like a traitor. It was hard to do the same when he was constantly followed with eyes.</p><p>As if to make matters worse, it wasn’t only Dutch. Micah acted like a creep again, watching him from the shadow. He probably thought he was acting intimidating but he just looked like a clown, trying so hard to seem more dangerous than he really was.</p><p>John ignored him, just like he ignored Dutch. He was more successful with the latter and after preparing Old Boy, he went to take something to eat for himself and Arthur. When he returned, Micah was by his horse, stroking the gelding’s neck despite the horse being clearly tense in his presence.</p><p>“You’re making him nervous,” John pointed out. Micah took a few steps back and watched him pack food into the saddle bags.</p><p>“Your woman can’t even cook?” the man asked mockingly, leaning against the hitching post and playing with his knife. “Or is she your charity case?”</p><p>“None of your business,” John growled back at him. God, how he wished he could punch Micah in the face for spreading lies about him. For lying to Dutch’s face. It got to be him talking about John being a traitor. Who else would have a reason to do so? Everyone liked John and trusted him. But not Micah. The man was always jealous of him and his position in the gang. So really, he should be happy that John was slowly but steadily drifting away from the gang, whether on his own or being pushed away by Dutch.  </p><p>Instead he was acting as if John offended him by finding someone.</p><p>“No need to get defensive, just curious,” Micah explained himself. “I suppose you’re doing good. After all it's a man's job to provide his family with food. Women can’t hunt shit.”</p><p>John wished Arthur could break his rules and hunt Micah, so he could watch the bastard shit his pants at the sight of the attacking merman. And then watch him being torn apart.</p><p>“You would be surprised.” Micah must’ve been closing his eyes every time Sadie was back from hunting, always carrying a deer or a pronghorn with her. She wasn’t any worse than Charles and she was definitely better than Micah, who also could hunt shit unless it was already dead. Sadie was a lioness, Micah was just a pesky coyote waiting to steal a kill. </p><p>“So, I was wondering.” Micah completely ignored John’s previous comment. “Is your girl sheriff’s daughter that you trying to impress, so he will let you fuck her or…”</p><p>John threw a can on the ground and turned swiftly to Micah, closing the distance between them in one long step. “Shut your goddamn mouth, Micah,” he hissed through gritted teeth. “Or I’ll make that black eye even worse.”</p><p>Micah, John had to give him that, didn’t get scared and held eye contact. The bastard even smirked.</p><p>“Hit the sore spot?” he chuckled, making John curl his hands into fists. “I hope that cunt is worth selling your friends to the law.”</p><p>“You know as well as I do that I’m not selling anyone.” He looked into Micah’s eyes, waiting for him to crack, to reveal just for a second that he was the one telling Dutch lies about him. But there was only the smugness.</p><p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about, cowpoke,” he said and pushed John away from himself. John stared at him, furious. He was lying. Micah looked him in the eyes and fucking lied just like that.</p><p>“It’s you who is talking to Dutch about me,” he accused the other man. “Don’t even try to deny it.”</p><p>“Even if I had the reason to do so, I wouldn’t have to,” Micah pointed out. “You’re doing just fine being suspicious on your own. Even now. Threatening another gang member when you’re already suspected of being a traitor? Don’t look really trustworthy to me.” John clenched his fists so tight he pierced his palms with his nails, almost breaking the skin. “Acting aggressive when confronted with the accusation? Why getting so defensive if you’re innocent, Marston?”</p><p>He wanted to defend himself, to tell that anyone would react with anger if accused of being a traitor after years of being in the gang. But it was clear that Micah wouldn’t care. He got what he wanted, the reaction he was looking for, no doubt in front of an audience no less but John was too afraid to check. And too ashamed. Micah provoked him so easily John felt like a dumb kid who jumped at much bigger men for being called short or scrawny, which he did many times in the past.</p><p>He should know better by now but once again Micah showed he knew where to strike to get the wanted reaction, how deep to put the needle to provoke but not get punched. And he was confident he wouldn’t, because any attack from John right now would only raise more suspicion in Dutch. And Micah knew this, and wasn't afraid to use it.</p><p>Not saying anything, he turned his back to pleased Micah and mounted, desperate to leave as quickly as possible. “Get!” he shouted at Old Boy and the horse moved instantly, quickly entering the gallop.</p><p>“You forgot your can!” Micah shouted after him, amusement in his voice.</p><p>John didn’t turn or even look back. Instead, he lifted himself from the saddle and hurried Old Boy even more. The horse protested at such a face pace without warmup and John already promised to him that he would reward him for that. He just couldn’t stand being in the camp, in Micah’s presence, any longer and he already knew he wouldn’t be back for the night. What was the point? Dutch already suspected him, more night away from the camp where he didn’t even feel welcome anymore, at least from two people, wouldn’t change a thing, even for worse. Unless the law would suddenly attack them, John had nothing to worry about for now. Even Micah wasn’t that crazy to inform the law about their location to make his lies more plausible. At least he hoped so.</p><p>The anger left him surprisingly quickly. Maybe because of the steady hoofbeats hitting the ground. John imagined Old Boy was running over Micah and he instantly felt better. He slowed the gelding down and shushed him, because the horse was distressed a bit. They reached the homestead at a much slower pace and once Old Boy was pulling the cart with the hay and water for himself, they were traveling slowly. By the time they entered the forest, John was almost completely calm. He still needed to see Arthur to really relax but he would do that soon enough. At least he wasn’t hearing Micah’s smug laugh anymore.</p><p>He entered the bay with the sigh of relief and a small smile that quickly fell when he didn’t notice Arthur anywhere. At first he thought the merman was under the cliff, but usually Arthur was waiting somewhere from where he could spot John easily.</p><p>“Arthur!” John shouted once he got all the way down. There was no answer, the merman didn’t appear from under the water. He would hear John there so he simply wasn’t in the bay altogether. Which was strange but not alarming. At least for now.</p><p>John felt a little uneasy when he walked to their favorite spot on the sand. He left his satchel and boots there but he kept his gun with him. He didn’t have a bad feeling per se but he didn’t like the fact that Arthur wasn’t waiting for him. If it wasn’t for all the stuff Arthur kept on the beach, John would think no one even lived there.</p><p>Apart from the small waves and seagulls screaming their lungs out in the air, it was quiet, like on the day John arrived here first.</p><p>“Arthur, buddy, you there?!” he shouted again, still with no response. John walked slowly to the rock belt and climbed onto it, observing the water cautiously. It wouldn’t be the first time Arthur tricked him into coming here just to drag him into the water or scare him. Bastard. Maybe the merman was watching him back now, seeing him while all John could see was dark water, barely moving due to the almost non existing waves in the open ocean. </p><p>When he wasn’t scared for a while and Arthur didn’t drag him underwater unexpectedly, John figured out the merman was probably hunting for their breakfast. He rarely did it this late in the morning, when John could arrive at any moment, but John was a bit late today, so maybe Arthur thought he had more time to catch something. He should be back soon enough, it was never taking him long to catch a fish. He was a great hunter and any merperson would be happy to have him as a mate.</p><p>But he was John’s mate and any merperson could back off. They didn’t deserve Arthur anyway.</p><p>Deciding to wait on the merman there, John sat down and watched the ocean through the gap in the rocks, trying to spot Arthur in the distance, which with such a calm ocean wouldn’t be hard. But so far he’d seen nothing, only water and birds flying in the distance, sometimes diving to get their own breakfast. Maybe Arthur was swimming under the surface.     </p><p>Dangling his feet in the water, John hummed to himself, considering going back for his satchel and getting his journal to draw while waiting for his merman. But the water was too nice to leave so he enjoyed the peace the ocean was bringing him.</p><p>He took a deep breath of salty air and closed his eyes for a moment, simply listening to the noises around him and focusing on the feeling of the water washing over his legs when something touched him on the ankle unexpectedly, making him jolt his leg and pull it out from the water.</p><p>“If it’s you, Art, and you’re going to scare me, I’m going to kill you and turn you into a fillet,” he said loudly, pulling out his other legs as well and curling them both on the rocks.</p><p>Arthur didn’t emerge from the water. Whatever touched him was a bit slippery so it could be the merman’s tail, John felt it on his skin so many times already he could easily recognize the feeling. But Arthur’s tail was a lot like a fish's body.</p><p>As if answering his thoughts, a small fish appeared near the surface before diving deeper again. That didn’t mean Arthur wasn’t there, waiting for John to get comfortable again only to scare him.</p><p>Watching the surface, John put his legs back into the water and didn’t dare to turn his eyes away for a while. When nothing happened, he let himself relax and watched ahead again, spotting the small dot on the surface in the distance. It couldn’t be a boat, could be an animal, but when the dot started swimming towards the bay, clearly noticing him, John was sure then it was Arthur coming back from the hunt.</p><p>The merman disappeared from John’s sight long before he reached rocks surrounding the bay. John expected him to show up there at any moment, Arthur was fast after all.</p><p>It took a minute, maybe two, before both of his ankles were grabbed and with a hard tug, he landed in the water with a surprised yell, taking a deep breath in the last moment. He closed his eyes on impact and when he opened them again, he expected to see Arthur grinning at him. He was ready to glare at the merman but what greeted him wasn’t a familiar face with a beautiful smile but the one he didn’t know, with a mouth full of sharp fangs that suddenly got closer.</p><p>John’s instincts and years of training reacted quicker than he realized what was happening. Despite the water putting resistance, his left hand shot up to the neck of the strange merperson that was attacking him.</p><p>A mermaid.</p><p>He watched in panic as she clasped her teeth just in front of his face, only his hand stopping her from tearing it apart. She was pushing at it with all of her weight and it was clear when John’s elbow bent under the pressure, that he wasn’t strong enough to fight off so much strength pushed at him by the bright, orange tail that looked like a flame in the water.</p><p>The mermaid wasn’t giving up, she pushed harder, pressing him against the rocks behind him, successfully trapping him. Not that he could escape while in the water. With a free hand, John reached for his revolver, desperate to protect himself till he still had enough air to get himself out of the water. He managed to pull the gun out of its holster when the mermaid struck him in his right shoulder, sinking her claws deep into his flesh.</p><p>John held back the scream, not wanting to lose precious air and fill his lungs with water instead, but he wasn’t able to keep his fingers wrapped around the handle of his revolver. He dropped the gun and the mermaid used his brief distraction to attack. John’s arm gave up under her strength and she lunged herself at him, aiming for his throat.</p><p>John didn’t even think about what he was doing, he just took a swig with his now free left hand and punched the mermaid in the gills. She whistled in pain and stopped her attack. Before she regained herself, John caught her by the throat again, pushing his fingers into her gills while with the other hand, he attempted to reach his weapon again. He needed to free himself now, he was losing air too quickly, he didn’t have much time left.</p><p>Only a knife was left, John’s fingers grazed it, his whole arm practically immobilized by the grip the mermaid had on him. Her claws were causing him pain with every move but he just gritted his teeth and pushed his hand further down, perfectly aware of the flesh being torn open.</p><p>He gripped the knife just as the mermaid broke free of his hold again. She stared at him with her black eyes glistening with hunger as she was coming at him but once again didn’t reach him with her teeth. He lifted his forearm just in time and struck her with the knife, slashing her scaly belly up to her chest, the blood spilling out in a beautiful serpentine of red color.</p><p>That hurt her more than the punch to the gills. She let go with a booming sound and swam away a couple of feet, looking with a surprise at the injury John put on her. John meanwhile grabbed the rock behind him to not sink deeper, his hand with the knife outstretched in the warning. The mermaid looked up at him and opened her mouth wider, threatening him in her own way. She didn’t attack, she knew he couldn’t stay underwater forever. She was going to take her sweet time with him, watch him drown or wait for him to drop the knife that was giving him slight advantage over her.</p><p>John’s lungs were already burning and he wanted desperately to let go of the air he was holding to gulp more. Dives with Arthur certainly helped to increase their capacity but he was still a land creature. He would drown sooner than later and the mermaid had time. His only chances to get out of this alive were Arthur and getting out of the water on his own but he couldn’t climb with one hand and with the mermaid watching him, ready to attack once he would turn his back to her. If he only didn’t drop his revolver, he could shoot her.</p><p>If he could only swim…</p><p>John and the mermaid looked at each other and for the first time, he noticed how sentient she was. She grinned at him and by god, she looked so terrifying, John couldn’t help but tremble. He felt sorry for anyone that witnessed this as the last sight in their life. But it wasn’t going to be the last sight he would see. He refused to die as food for some mermaid.</p><p>He couldn’t wait any longer, he needed air, he needed to get out of the water. Knowing how much risk there was, he kept his eyes on the mermaid while he tried to lift himself higher, kicking his legs like he saw people during swimming to help himself. He was so relieved when he moved significantly higher, using his unharmed hand to hoist himself. The surface wasn't that far, he could make it.</p><p>But he underestimated how the lack of air could affect him. His fingers gave out instantly, despite his body barely weighing anything in the water. Panic took over when for a short while he was just floating, not holding into anything. He quickly grabbed the rocks again, plastering himself against it. When he regained his grip and turned back, the mermaid was swimming at him with full speed. He didn’t even lift his knife, he knew he wouldn’t be fast enough.</p><p>Arthur came out of nowhere.</p><p>He slammed his body into the mermaid and dragged her away from John before she could even touch him. In his relief, or maybe it was because of the lack of air, John leaned heavily against the rocks and dropped his knife as he looked towards the fight that started between the two merpeople.</p><p>Arthur got the hold of the mermaid, his claws sinking into her flesh, one hand on her shoulder, the two fingers of the other in her mouth, and it had to be deliberated because once those fingers got there, Arthur tugged harshly, slashing open the cheek of the mermaid, tossing chunks of flesh into the water.</p><p>The mermaid opened her mouth in a silent scream and tried to fight back, but she was just too small compared to Arthur, too weak. She swat her tail at him but the merman didn’t even budge and quickly wrapped his own around it, bringing the mermaid closer when she attempted to escape after. It looked almost like a lover's embrace if to ignore the blood that started clouding the fight.</p><p>The mermaid still tried to fight back, her claws slashing open Arthur’s arm. He didn’t even seem to notice it, once he grabbed both of the mermaid’s hands, he lunged forward and clasped his teeth around her throat. The blood exploded around his mouth, a thick cloud of it covering everything like a dark smoke.</p><p>John couldn’t see anything anymore but he could still hear muffled sounds of the fight, twisting and tossing in the water and a high, whistling sound that had to come from the mermaid. John had no idea what it meant, but the plea for mercy was easily recognizable in it.</p><p>Only Arthur had no mercy.</p><p>John wanted to stop the fight so the mermaid could go free and heal herself, she got her lesson, there was no reason to kill her. But he had no way to do this. He couldn’t swim to two merpeople and part them, and he couldn’t call out for Arthur to let her go. So as the air was slowly leaving his lungs, making his vision dark and blurry, he only watched and listened how the fight continued for a few more seconds and then everything went quiet and only the steady heartbeat of the ocean could be heard.</p><p>The blood dissolved slowly in the water, revealing the winner. John couldn’t tore his eyes away from the feral sight he was just witnessing. Arthur looked like a wild animal, tense, fidgety, his eye pitch black, frantically looking for another danger, his fangs out and splattered with blood, some part of the mermaid’s skin and scales stuck in them. The merman licked it clean and swallowed, staring at the body of the defeated mermaid, making sure she was really dead.</p><p>She no doubt was, half of her throat was missing and her forearms were shredded where Arthur held them. Her mouth remained open in a scream and eyes, now simply green, captured the last seconds of fear inside them. She floated in the dark water, lifeless, with her arms spread wide and a gorgeous tail lying horizontally. It looked beautiful in a way. Horrifying, but beautiful.</p><p>In her last moments, she fought back, scratching Arthur pretty hard on the right shoulder. But John didn’t have time to examine the injury because Arthur swam to him quickly like a bullet and pulled him to the surface.</p><p>John gulped the air the moment he felt it against his lips. He opened them greedily and swallowed before he started to cough. Arthur pushed him against the rocks and lifted him on them. John stumbled onto them and crouched on all fours, feeling weak like a newborn foal, his limbs shaking under him. Or maybe it was still fear, he had no idea, he only focused on breathing, coughing, and breathing again. He didn’t even feel pain in his arm, all he was aware right now was the burning in his lungs as they kept extending and shrinking with his every breath.</p><p>Slowly, his breathing was getting back to normal and he was becoming aware of more things. Of the pulsing pain in his shoulder, water dripping from him, blood sliding down his arm and Arthur’s palm on his back, Arthur's mouth near his ear, speaking something to him, no, asking something urgently. </p><p>Once the blood in John’s ears stopped humming with the audibility of a waterfall, he recognized the merman’s words, his own name being the first, said with so much fear and concern it felt like a bucket of cold water poured over his head.</p><p>“John, you okay?” Arthur kept asking, his voice tense, just like his whole body. John felt it when he leaned against him in his weak state. He was getting his strength back the more oxygen got back to his body but as of right now, he didn’t even feel himself. “John, talk to me. Are you hurt somewhere else?”</p><p>At the urgency in his voice, John looked up at Arthur and noticed the merman’s eyes were still black and he didn’t hide his fangs. He probably didn’t have time or didn’t think of it in his panic. John simply stared at him, at the blood still present on those dangerous fangs that saved John’s life just a moment ago.</p><p>A sudden thrill ran through John’s body, heading between his legs. That’s when he realized he was throbbing there, his dick hard like it never was before. The sight of Arthur fighting to protect him, seeing what he was capable of for the first time, how feral he could be, how wild and dangerous, affected John so much that even being close to death, close to drowning, didn’t stop his cock from getting hard.</p><p>John wasn’t sure if he should be concerned about that, that Arthur killing for him excited him. It shouldn’t, it shouldn’t do anything to him except make him be glad for being saved. But he couldn’t ignore how his body reacted. And he wasn’t going to. He wanted the merman so much right now it hurt.</p><p>Instead of answering, John crashed their lips together, not caring about the sharp fangs and that one of them cut his lips open, it only made him more excited. Blood got spilled but Arthur licked it quickly, hungrily. John shivered against him and leaned closer, toppling them over.</p><p>They landed in the shallow water, Arthur first and John on him. The merman groaned with the weight but didn’t stop kissing John, just wrapped his arms tightly around him, protectively, and moved his tail, getting them closer to the beach, where Arthur could lie on his back without his entire face being submerged.</p><p>Once they were in such a place, John pushed the merman against the ground and kissed him harder. His tongue slipped past the sharp fangs and tangled together with Arthur’s, rubbing desperately together just like their bodies were doing the same. It didn’t take long for the merman to get where John was with his arousal and when he snapped his hips up, John felt his cock rubbing against the material of the jeans.</p><p>John moaned at the contact, but it wasn’t enough. He wanted more, he needed more. Keeping the kiss going, he reached his pants and with some struggle, he opened them and along with his underwear pushed them down his hips, pulling his hard dick out. They both moaned when their lengths came into contact for the first time.  </p><p>An excitement grew inside of John and he rutted harder against the merman, pulling another sound of pleasure from him and from himself. Just like yesterday, Arthur grabbed his ass, kneading it but this time it felt even better, because there were no pants preventing the skin on skin contact.</p><p>John shuddered when those sharp claws scratched his naked skin but didn’t break it. His hips jerked uncontrollably, as if not being able to decide if they should get away from the claws or push harder against those big hands. Arthur spared him from making that decision by grabbing his ass more firmly and pressing it down while his own hips shot up.</p><p>They swallowed each other’s moans when their dicks slid against one another again. They wanted to continue doing it, but Arthur’s cock was too slick and both of their moves were too frantic to keep the contact.</p><p>So John rolled onto his side and Arthur followed, his tail curling around John’s legs almost possessively. What was a death grip in the water for the mermaid made John arch into the merman, asking him to bring their body closer. And Arthur delivered, tugging him with his tail harshly.</p><p>John put his hands between them before their chest could crash together. His palms immediately started roaming the merman’s torso, exploring the hard muscles, touching the nipples that were standing up, begging for attention John was happy to provide, feeling Arthur squirm against him in response, his scales rubbing against John’s dick and bringing him new sensation. They felt good, smooth but with enough friction to make him gasp.  </p><p>When their bodies parted for a moment, John slipped his hand down and grabbed both of their cocks in his hand. Arthur’s hips gave a desperate jerk as he groaned and sucked at John’s tongue in his mouth, his fangs holding it gently, not letting it pull back while he touched it with his own, reminding John how close he was to losing it. All that was needed was one clasp of the merman’s jaw and the knowledge of this was causing John to shiver both in fear and pleasure that was quickly becoming bigger.</p><p>Tightening his grip on their cocks, John started jerking them off quickly, with Arthur pushing his length into John’s hand, desperate to cum.</p><p>It was the first time John could really feel the merman’s cock, thinner than his own but longer and so slick it was easy to stroke it. John couldn’t help but imagine it inside him, whether it be his mouth or ass. How would it taste? How it would feel fucking him? With how slick it was, it could slide right in into his hole, stretching him just slightly but reaching so deep it would easily hit that small bundle of nerve that was hidden inside.</p><p>John’s ass clenched at the thought and his cock dripped with precum which he smeared over the head, toying with the slit at the top before getting back to stroking them both.</p><p>They broke the kiss finally, not being able to focus on breathing through their nose and needing more air as they started panting. But they kept their lips close, sharing their breaths, moans and grunts.</p><p>John watched the merman through half closed eyes, how the pleasure showed up on his face, taking over his expression. His eyes were closed while lips were parted, quiet gasps escaping every now and then from between them.</p><p>He remembered how Arthur looked on that day when he touched him accidently. How before he became terrified of what he had done, he admired the beauty in front of him for half a second. He looked even better now, John was sure he never saw anyone more beautiful than the merman right now, consumed by pleasure and showing it, freely this time, not being afraid to make any sound he needed.</p><p>And when that raspy voice spoke John’s name, whispering it sweetly, John almost cum just from that. He bit his lower lip and whimpered, overcome with ecstasy and emotion. Arthur opened his eyes and looked at him, lust and love both present in his gaze. He looked at John like he hung the moon.</p><p>“John…” the merman repeated, pushing his hips harder, his cock sliding against John’s who let go of his lip to moan deeply and long, not afraid to show his pleasure either. He wanted to show Arthur how much he affected him, how much he wanted him back.</p><p>“Art…” he breathed out, the wave of heat rolling through his body with the next snap of their hips. “Shit, Art, you feel so good in my hand.”</p><p>Arthur grunted in response, resting their foreheads together, not taking his eyes off John. “You feel good too,” he whispered and closed his eyes for a moment, moaning with the next roll of his hips. “I want to…”</p><p>“Yeah,” John said, not waiting for the merman to finish. He could feel in the intensity of his thrust, in how his dick twitched, what he wanted to say. “Me too,” he admitted, stroking faster and twisting his palm around their joined lengths, fitting so perfect together, feeling so good against one another.</p><p>Sex never felt more right to John than right now, as their kept fucking into John’s hand, faster and more desperate till they both spilled over it, moaning each other’s names with broken voices and bodies pressed tightly together. Arthur brought him closer with his tail and John wrapped his arm around him, while his palm dragged out their joined pleasure, pulling more grunts from them that soon turned into whimpers as they became oversensitive.</p><p>John let go and placed his cum covered hand on Arthur’s chest, who didn’t mind, he was too busy getting his breathing back in order, so was John. They sagged against each other, wrapped in another’s arms as they slowly returned from the peaks of their pleasure. One pleasure, because they shared it.</p><p>Their first time being truly intimate.</p><p>John hummed, content. It sounded so good. First but not the last.</p><p>Arthur sighed against his chest where he hid his face to place a small kiss just above John’s heart. John smiled, hugging the merman tighter, the love he felt for him growing within his chest, making him warm from the inside. “You good?” he asked, nuzzling into the blond hair, breathing in the smell of the ocean.</p><p>“Amazing,” the merman replied with another sigh and lifted his head. He blinked his eyes back to normal and hid his teeth before smiling and kissing John’s lips gently.</p><p>John purred and smiled back into the kiss. “Me too,” he admitted, drawing circles with his thumb on the merman’s arm, damp with sweat. At least he thought it was sweat before he looked over there and realized he was touching the blood. “Shit,” he cursed and jerked his hand back. “I forgot you got hurt.”</p><p>He too, for that matter. He didn’t feel pain while pleasure filled his body but now it was gone, leaving only a content feeling behind itself. The pain returned, even more prominent since he was laying on the arm that got pierced with the mermaid’s claws.</p><p>John groaned and Arthur let go of him quickly, uncurling his tail from around his legs. John turned onto his back right away and almost touched his injured arm with the hand that was still covered with cum. He stopped himself at the last moment.</p><p>“I got hurt?” Arthur asked, a little panicked again. “I just got scratched, you look worse than me.”</p><p>“You gotta be kidding me,” John hissed through clenched teeth and looked Arthur over. There were deep cuts on his right shoulder from where the mermaid got him, probably just trying to pray him away from herself and not really attacking to not make him even angrier and more aggressive. Her passivity didn’t really help her in the end. “You’re bleeding like a pig.”</p><p>Indifferent, Arthur looked at his bleeding arm and shrugged it. He didn’t even grimace. “It doesn’t hurt,” he assured and got closer to John, gently taking hold of his injured arm. John gasped when the merman touched him around one of the five claw cuts. The blood already soaked into the material of John’s shirt but he could still feel himself bleeding. Lying on that arm for a while surely didn’t help to stop it.</p><p>“Your claws aren’t poisoned, right?” he asked, even though he already knew the answer. But god damn, it hurt so much right now. He felt so good just a minute ago and now he was in pain. He kind of didn’t feel sorry for the mermaid anymore. She ruined the aftermath of his first orgasm with Arthur. Instead of lying in the afterglow, they needed to tend their injuries.</p><p>“No,” Arthur replied and moved his hands to the buttons of John’s shirt, opening it quickly. Shaking the shirt off hurt but John tried to keep any sound of pain from escaping to not make Arthur any more nervous. “I’ll bring some seaweed for that. Can you get bandages?”</p><p>“Yeah.” He stood up from the ground using his good hand for help. He washed it in the water while he was at it and then lifted his drawers and pants back in place, buttoning them and wincing every time he had to use his injured arm. “Hey, both of my weapons are on the bottom of the bay,” he said to Arthur when he entered further into the shallow water. “Can you fetch them for me?”</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>The merman disappeared in the water and John climbed to the cliff. Old Boy neighed panicked when he smelled blood but John shushed him quickly. “I’m okay, boy,” he whispered to the gelding, hugging his head with one arm, preferring not to move the other. “It’s just a scratch.”</p><p>It really wasn’t, he probably needed stitches, especially since he deliberately slashed his body more open to reach his knife. It saved his life but now he had a problem. How he was going to explain his injury in the camp? He could stitch himself on his own but someone would certainly notice that he was injured.</p><p>Ha grabbed the necessary tools from his saddle and headed back to the bay. He needed the fire first and foremost to sterilize the needle since he didn’t have any alcohol with him. Arthur was back in the meantime. He joined John by the slowly growing fire and tossed his weapons on the sand near it.</p><p>“You better not throw the revolver, it can fire on its own.”</p><p>Arthur literally growled, his mouth occupied by the small pouch of his. He let go of it to speak. “Did I mention how much I hate your guns?”</p><p>“Once or twice,” John answered with a smile and opened the pouch. “Which one was for sanitizing the wound again?”</p><p>Arthur picked the right plant and got to work, gently cleaning John’s wounds from blood.</p><p>“You gonna live,” the merman said when he was cleaning the third cut.</p><p>“Thank you, doctor, I figured it out myself,” John joked, once again touched by how gentle Arthur was with him. Arthur huffed, offended, but John could see him smile. “What the hell was that mermaid doing?”</p><p>“Trying to eat you.”</p><p>John rolled his eyes. “I mean in your bay.”</p><p>“You need to precise your questions more,” Arthur noticed and smirked at him for a moment then focused on the wounds again.</p><p>“I’m sorry I’m in such a pain I can’t organize my thoughts.”</p><p>“Only when you’re hurt?”</p><p>John glared at him. “You know, I preferred when you panicked earlier, before I calmed you down with the kiss. And an orgasm.”</p><p>Arthur was blushing when he looked up at him again. “I wasn't sure you would survive then,” he explained his earlier panic. “You were wheezing so horribly.”</p><p>“Tends to happen when your lungs were empty for a while.” Arthur finished sanitizing the last wound and picked another seaweed to the same for himself. “You gonna answer my question?”</p><p>“I don’t know what she was doing here,” he admitted, looking towards the bay where the body was still drifting in the water. “She was from my colony but I don’t know her name. Seen here around before but not this close to the land. I never noticed her following me here either.” Arthur gave him half a shrug with his uninjured arms. “Maybe something else caught her attention and then she noticed you? I smelled a rotten body in the water earlier, probably some sea animal. Maybe she was going to check it when she decided you would be a better meal.”</p><p>“And where were you?” John asked, carefully putting the thread through the sanitized needle. “Hunting?”</p><p>Arthur nodded. “I got caught up with Boadicea, she helped me hunt for you and me. I was on my way to the bay when I heard that mermaid scream.”</p><p>“You heard her?”</p><p>“I can hear for miles in the water,” Arthur explained. “Better than on the surface. I knew something wasn’t right, especially when I smelled your blood in the water.”</p><p>“You really know how it smells?”</p><p>“I tasted it, remember?” Oh yeah. “I remember its taste very well.”</p><p>“You said it was nothing special,” John pointed out, remembering how the merman reacted to tasting his blood again on his lip. “Yet you lapped at it like a hungry dog just a moment ago.”</p><p>John licked his lip, nicked by Arthur’s fangs. The skin already healed but there was still a faint sting in it, reminding him how sharp those teeth are.</p><p>“I lied,” Arthur said cheekily.</p><p>John chuckled. “I was disappointed when you said that but now I’m concerned.”</p><p>“Don’t worry, I won’t eat you,” the merman promised and looked at John’s wounds, licking his lips nervously. “You can do it alone?” he asked, nodding at the needle.</p><p>“Done it plenty of times,” he said confidently. He lifted the hand with the needle to the first wound and placed the pointy end to the skin, right at the edge of the cut. “Only I wasn’t sober any time.”</p><p>Arthur watched him with sympathy and worry. “Don’t have any, sorry.”</p><p>“That’s okay.” John smiled at him assuring. “There are only five cuts.”</p><p>He didn’t feel very assured himself. Maybe if the wounds weren't shredded by his attempt to protect himself it would’ve been easier to fix.  </p><p>John took a deep breath, stopped his hand from shaking and started patching himself up, bracing himself for the pain that came right away. He groaned and gritted his teeth hard, holding in anything louder, like a moan or a curse. He didn’t want to freak out Arthur, who watched him with concern between tending to his own wounds.</p><p>It was a long and painful as hell process for John. He barely stitched the first wound and he already couldn’t prevent his hand from shaking anymore from all the pain. He had trouble with aiming the needle right and he was doing more mess than good to himself.</p><p>“You enjoy hurting yourself like this?” Arthur asked, watching him struggle this whole time.</p><p>“I’m not the one who spent god knows how long stabbing myself with a pointy shell to draw a pretty picture on my skin,” John hissed back. From pain, not because he was angry.</p><p>Arthur snorted. “Let me help you,” he offered, already reaching his hands for the needle.</p><p>“Do you even know how to sew the wound?” He wasn’t going to lie, he could use some help.</p><p>“Sure, we use tendon from animals as threads,” the merman explained and took the needle from him, not even waiting for John to give it himself.</p><p>“You need stitching too,” he pointed out. Cleaning the wounds with the sea weed helped stop the bleeding but the cuts were too severe to do it completely. Trickles of blood were dripping from Arthur’s elbow as he sewed John’s shoulder, one cut by one.</p><p>“I’ll be fine for a while longer,” the merman assured, focused on the task at hand. He was good at stitching wounds but that was to be expected. He probably tended to all of his old injuries alone, including the one given to him by some other merman or a god damn shark. He knew what he was doing.</p><p>Not to mention his hands were those of an artist, he had a good control over them. John watched his thick fingers, how swift they were with their movement, how carefully they held the needle, so small compared to them. John would love to feel those fingers inside himself, working him open.</p><p>Only there was one problem.</p><p>Having those claws inside as well wouldn’t be pleasant.</p><p>He sighed a little disappointed, which caught Arthur's attention. The merman looked at him confused but didn’t ask, not about the sigh, nor the blush that appeared on John’s face. He needed to keep his fantasies in check. Just because they were intimate for the first time didn’t mean John should now openly speak about his imagination. He could. But maybe when both of them would be fine and not covered in blood and in pain.</p><p>With Arthur’s help, closing the wounds went much faster. The merman used his medicines to ease the pain one more time before bandaging everything with a clean cloth. John didn’t put his shirt back on, deciding to clean it from blood first. If the next day he could return to the camp early enough, when most gang members would still be asleep, maybe he could avoid someone spotting the material being shredded and discovering he got hurt. With how good the sea weed was working last time, John didn’t think it would take a lot of time till he could remove the stitches by himself, without anyone even knowing that something happened. With how little he was in the camp, he wasn’t really worried about that anyway.</p><p>But if he would get unlucky and the injury would be discovered, it looked like something caused by an animal, so it was easy to explain. Which didn’t mean John wanted to explain anything, adding to the list of questions Dutch had for him. He was sure the older man or simply Micah with his next gossip, would twist it in a way to use the wound as a proof for John’s betrayal. </p><p>With John’s wounds taken care of, they could take care of the ones Arthur gained. They weren’t bleeding anymore and stitching them was easier for John than working on himself, his hand didn’t shake even once and he was very careful to not cause the merman any pain. Not that he needed to be careful, Arthur seemed unbothered by the needle piercing his skin constantly.</p><p>John was just dealing with the last wound, which would be the end since bandaging a sea creature would be pointless, when the merman spoke up.</p><p>“Care to tell me what the hell was that earlier?”</p><p>John stopped his hand above the wound and looked up at him, surprised.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>He had no idea what Arthur was referring to.</p><p>“You threw yourself at me.”</p><p>The realization that he might’ve touched Arthur without his consent caused something cold and heavy to sink to the bottom of his abdomen. He almost moved away in fear from the merman.</p><p>“You didn’t like it?” he asked quietly, afraid to hear the answer. If he screwed up again…</p><p>Arthur frowned. “Did you hear me complaining or telling you to stop?” he asked back, sounding a little hurt. John dropped his head down, focusing on the merman’s wounds again to not look him into eyes. It was a stupid question, of course Arthur liked it, John could sense nothing but willingness from him when they laid tangled together in the water. “I enjoyed myself, I’m just surprised you didn’t wait for me to stop looking like a monster.”</p><p>John snapped his head back up. Monster? Even with black eyes and fangs out, Arthur was far from being a monster. At least in John’s eyes.</p><p>“You didn’t look like a monster,” he assured quickly and dropped his head again when he felt his cheeks heating up. Arthur was watching him, waiting for the answer to his question. “I don’t know,” John blurted out finally. “I just… I just couldn’t control myself, you know?” It felt as if the pure instinct took a hold of him. Or lust and suddenly everything in his body screamed at him all at once to touch the one that caused him to feel like that and be touched in return. Nothing else mattered then but to get as close to Arthur as possible, feel the strength he demonstrated and his hands that killed so easily now be gentle with John, bringing only pleasure instead of pain and death. A shiver possessed his body just as he was thinking of it again, causing his hand to shake as well, just as he was about to pierce the skin on the merman’s shoulder with the needle again.</p><p>“You just killed someone for me and you looked so… dangerous, feral,” he continued, his face getting hotter, not only because of the words but also because of Arthur's intense gaze on him. “It got too me. So I decided to do something about it.”</p><p>It was a little embarrassing how fast he acted on his arousal. He had more control over himself than that, he wasn’t a wild animal after all. But seeing Arthur like that stirred something in him, something no previous lover was capable of. A desire John just couldn’t and didn’t want to, say ‘no’ to.</p><p>He already wanted Arthur before that, more than he wanted anyone in the past. He loved the merman, he was the most beautiful and attractive person John had ever seen. But he still didn’t expect himself to react so strongly, to be attracted to Arthur looking so wild, his fangs still stained with blood. They weren’t bothering him at all but he would never suspect he would ever welcome them during sex.</p><p>He probably wasn't normal because of that but he didn’t really care. He wasn’t ashamed of desiring Arthur, all of him, both human and merperson parts of him.</p><p>“I see.”</p><p>John finished the last stitch, cut off the thread and tied the end before looking at the merman, not expecting such… simple answer to such a confession. </p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Nothing.” Arthur smirked. “It’s just good to know.” John huffed and turned to put away the needle now it wasn’t needed anymore. When he faced Arthur again, the merman’s face was right in front of him, his blue eyes filled with smugness. He didn’t even hear him move. “Had to say that seeing you so desperate for me you had to tackle me was arousing.”</p><p>John wasn’t sure if Arthur was making fun of him or if he really liked it. He didn’t have to wonder about that long, because he felt the merman’s hands sliding up his naked chest, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. John swallowed, not being able to turn his eyes from Arthur’s gaze that was filled with adoration. So close, he could see every detail of his irises and they took his breath away with their beauty. “I wanted you for a while but didn’t know how to start,” he confessed, Arthur’s touch like a flame on his skin. “Didn’t want to do something wrong like that one time.”</p><p>Most of the time he didn’t feel guilty for that anymore but remembering it was still making him uncomfortable.</p><p>“That’s okay,” Arthur assured him. His palm reached John’s face and tucked the strand of wet hair behind his ear with care. John closed his eyes, giving himself up to the touch. “It was surprising but the touch wasn’t unwelcome. I liked it till you freaked out and freaked me out.”</p><p>“I’m sorry the thought of violating your body got me scared,” he huffed, looking at the merman again.  </p><p>Arthur placed his hand on the scarred cheek and John leaned into it, enjoying the cold on his warm, flushed skin. “You’re a good man, John,” he said, inching his face closer. John covered the merman’s hand with his and waited for his next move, not surprised when Arthur placed a soft kiss on his lips, smiling just before. “It’s fine,” he whispered, their lips brushing together. “We’re fine. I liked it then and I liked it yesterday before Old Boy interrupted us.”</p><p>John chuckled lowly. “Little shit,” he murmured and pressed his lips back against Arthur’s.</p><p>“Don’t say things like that when you kiss me, you idiot.” John smiled, mouthing a quick ‘sorry’ before another kiss. “And I liked it today,” Arthur added and sighed, tilting his head just right, so their mouth fitted together better with the next kiss. “You have amazing hands. Felt nice.”</p><p>“Yeah?” John gasped, already out of breath.</p><p>Arthur smiled against his lips. “Yeah.”</p><p>John smiled back, shifting to press his body closer to the merman and turning his head, his lips now just an inch from Arthur’s ear. “Wait till I show you what I can do with just you, not both of us,” he said and gave the ear a shy lick. He felt proud when the merman shivered.</p><p>“Can’t wait.” Arthur used his hand to tilt John’s head up, making him bare the column of his neck for him. John swallowed thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing right in front of Arthur's eyes. The merman placed a short kiss there, making John release a trembling breath. “Can’t wait to use this on you as well,” he said into the smooth skin and then slowly licked John’s throat from the point it connected with his shoulder and all the way up to his ear.</p><p>John shuddered and felt himself getting hard in his pants again. “Tease,” he rasped. When did his throat get so dry?</p><p>Arthur smiled against his cheek. “You started it.”</p><p>“No denying here,” he answered, staring up into the sky and letting Arthur kiss his neck, even nip it with his fangs. John almost moaned when he felt those sharp teeth scratching the delicate skin there. The satisfied chuckle from Arthur that followed after told John the merman knew what he was doing. “You’re surprisingly confident in what you’re doing for someone who is a virgin.”</p><p>Arthur chuckled again. “I may be a virgin but I know what may feel good,” he answered, sucking on the spot just under John’s ear. That moan John couldn’t keep just to himself and if he wasn't sitting right now, his legs would give out under him. The merman hummed in approval. “I’ve seen other merpeople mating so I have an idea what could feel good for you despite us being different species. I’m trying it out and hoping I guessed right.” Arthur bite him rather hard, with his human teeth thank god, pulling a loud groan out of John, making him forget they were even talking. “Looks like I guessed right,” he noticed proudly, grinning against the bitten skin he then kissed to ease the pain.</p><p>John was still in thoughts with the previous comment. “You’re not only a tease but a pervert as well?” he asked, a little taken aback by Arthur mentioning watching others having sex just like that.</p><p>“We aren’t exactly private creatures, John,” Arthur explained. “It’s not that we’re deliberately looking for an audience for our mating but if you stumble upon a pair in that situation, I can assure you they won’t stop just to scare you off. So I’ve seen what others were doing with their mates.”</p><p>“When we… mate,” John panted and stopped Arthur’s ministrations to kiss him soundly. The merman purred and pressed his lips firmly against John’s in response. “I don’t want an audience,” he finished, looking into Arthur’s eyes so the merman could see he wasn’t joking. “Humans just don’t fuck on the street.”</p><p>“I wasn't planning on inviting anyone anyway,” Arthur assured him with a smirk and a tone of possessiveness in his voice.</p><p>“Good,” he said and smiled back.</p><p>He was going to start another kiss and maybe lead it into more again, he didn’t have enough yet after that delicious first taste, when something other than a burning desire stirred in his belly. He almost wanted to throw himself into the ocean when his stomach rumbled. Old Boy yesterday, today his own body. It was surprising nothing or no one interrupted them earlier.</p><p>Arthur chuckled, amused. “Hungry?”</p><p>“I could use something to eat,” he admitted, all the excitement from their teasing already gone, lost in the flames of embarrassment that seemed to consume John’s face right now.  </p><p>“Well, our breakfast was most likely eaten by Boadicea by now,” Arthur pointed out, looking towards the ocean. “Or other seals. But I can catch something again. I’ll get rid of the body too.”</p><p>“You’re not going to eat her?”</p><p>Arthur smiled at him softly. “I could but not with you present.”</p><p>“I saw you eat before,” he remained the merman.</p><p>“While you was eating too?” John pressed his lips tight together. He didn’t think of that. “That’s what I thought.”</p><p>“Something else will eat her then.”</p><p>Arthur nodded. “Definitely.”</p><p>“You should inform the colony she’s dead,” he suggested. “She could have a family.”</p><p>She tried to kill and eat him but there was no reason to make her family suffer, uncertain of her faith.</p><p>“I will,” Arthur promised and turned to the ocean. “Be back in an hour.”</p><p>“Hurry up will you?” John hurried him and picked up his shirt from the ground. He needed to wash the blood or try at least. “I’m hungry.”</p><p>“You’re so demanding,” Arthur complained with a chuckle and crawled into the water. “Don’t get eaten while I'm gone!”</p><p>“Screw you!”</p><p>Arthur swam away laughing, John watching him with a grin.</p><p>Just like he promised, the merman was back about an hour later, carrying two fish with him. John brought down his own food, set up the fire and washed his shirt, now drying off in the sun.</p><p>The food brought by John was supposed to be enough for other meals too but they were both so hungry after the entertaining morning that they ate everything along with the two fish. Arthur promised to catch more later but as of now, they rested in the shade, John leaning against the wall of the cliff, with Arthur’s head in his lap. He was running his fingers through the merman’s hair while he admired the new drawing of the whale in the journal.</p><p>John sighed, feeling his body relax even further. Sitting like that it was easy to forget that he was almost eaten earlier and they both got hurt. Thankfully, the wound didn’t even hurt that much anymore, only when touched or if he tensed the muscles too much.</p><p>“Mind if I stay the night again?” John asked the merman at some point, feeling sleepy right now. The lack of sleep tonight was getting to him.</p><p>Arthur closed the journal he was reading as a practice and looked up at John smiling. “Be my guest,” he replied and got off his lap. Disappointing, but John didn’t complain long because the merman curled around him and under his arm, resting his head on John’s collarbone. “Dutch bothered you again?”</p><p>“Micah this time.” He was getting angry again just thinking about the bastard. His palms curled into fists but he quickly uncurled them and to keep at least one of them busy, he started stroking Arthur’s arm he was reaching. Arthur was doing the same to his ribs, no doubt sensing how tense he got and wanting to help. Both touches worked. “Dutch was… Dutch was just there, I guess.”</p><p>Arthur was puzzled. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“He didn’t say anything to me except ‘good morning, John’ and he only did that because I said it first,” John explained. “He doesn’t want to speak to me.”</p><p>“Like the last time.”</p><p>John sighed tiredly. “Like the last time,” he confirmed. “Only it’s worse, because then he was just disappointed, now he thinks I’m betraying him.”</p><p>“Can’t you just try to explain to him what is going on?” Arthur suggested, taking John’s hand in his and playing with his fingers.</p><p>“He won’t speak, so he won’t listen either. He just doesn’t trust me no more.”</p><p>When he said it, he felt the stung in the heart. Never in his wildest dream he expected a situation like this.</p><p>Arthur didn’t answer right away so they just sat in silence, listening to the ocean waves crashing gently against the rocks surrounding the bay. “So what are you going to do?”</p><p>“Prove my loyalty in another way,” he said the same thing he told Lenny. “Maybe if he won’t be hostile, he won’t demand to meet you when I say how serious you and I are.”</p><p>“So you’re going to keep quiet about me till then?”</p><p>“It’s not a secret that I have someone, Dutch just doesn’t want to believe it’s true.” Sometimes Dutch’s stubbornness was good, annoying at worst, but in this situation, it was simply painful for everyone. “So nothing more I’ll say will change that, he’ll just ask me to bring you to the camp. Which I can’t do, even if I wanted.”</p><p>“Or you can bring him here.”</p><p>John tensed again and looked down at Arthur shocked. The merman stared back, determination in his eyes.</p><p>“No,” he refused. Micah would want to go too with how close to Dutch he got recently. And Dutch was so against John right now he wouldn’t say no to Bell. “I’m not going to risk your life for this. I’ll be fine. Dutch won’t kill me, so it’s not like my life is in danger.” A punishment for betrayal was death but John had a history behind him. He was loyal for years, he saved Dutch’s life many times, Dutch treated him like a son. Surely he wouldn’t kill him, even with strong evidence. Which he wouldn’t get anyway because John wasn’t a damn rat. “He cares about me too much, he will probably kick me out if I don’t prove my loyalty but that’s it.”</p><p>Arthur hummed, uncertain. “If you’re sure,” he said and kissed John’s collarbone. “Don’t want you to get hurt just to protect me.”</p><p>John bowed his head and nuzzled his face into Arthur’s hair, hugging him tighter at the same time.</p><p>“It’ll be fine.” He needed to start to believe in this, because doubt and fear weren’t going to help him in any way. “Hey, you know what? I think I could bring Lenny here soon instead of Dutch.” Arthur’s whole body perked up, forcing John to let go of him a little so the merman could look at him better. His enthusiasm made John grin at him excitedly. He couldn’t wait to introduce some of his family to the merman. “He knows I’m seeing a man, he figured it out yesterday because I was dumb.” Arthur snorted but John ignored it this time. “I confirmed it today so maybe if I explain more, he’ll be fine knowing merpeople exist. And maybe I can bring Hosea later too. They showed me great support yesterday and today, and they’re very open minded. Maybe when they would be done freaking out after seeing you, they could like you.”</p><p>Arthur shifted to sit straighter, without leaning into John so much. “I would like to meet them,” he admitted with a grin. “And maybe if they know, they can help with Dutch. Hosea and he are close, right?”</p><p>John nodded and laughed. “Yeah, they were partners years before they took me in and raised me. They were together through a lot, good and band, so yeah, if Dutch is supposed to listen to anyone in the gang, more than to that fucking Micah, it will be Hosea.”</p><p>With all of his respect for Lenny, Hosea was John’s biggest ally right now. He knew Dutch better than anyone and maybe he would be able to get through that thick skull of his and set Dutch straight.</p><p>“I can’t wait to meet more humans,” Arthur admitted, clearly already well into the idea.</p><p>A very small, but still an ugly feeling bubbled in the pit of John’s stomach. “Is it wrong that I don’t want it in a way?” he asked nervously. “I like that what we have is special.”</p><p>It was stupid to feel jealous. Arthur wouldn’t suddenly fall in love with Lenny or Hosea but John liked that he had Arthur for himself right now and didn’t have to share yet. He wouldn’t keep the merman from meeting more humans of course. John liked to call him his merman but Arthur was still his own person. Forbidding him from meeting other people would not only be wrong, if not straight up evil, but also, despite his jealousy, he really wanted Lenny and Hosea to meet the merman. Lenny was a smart and knowledge seeking kid, he would have fun asking Arthur questions and learning about merpeople. Hosea too but he would also find connection with Arthur in drawing.</p><p>So John could be jealous now, completely sure that in the end he would only feel joy and pride when introducing Arthur to his family. The merman would be so happy he could already imagine the big grin on his face when it was going to happen.</p><p>Lost in his thoughts, he noticed Arthur moving when it was already too late. He didn’t even have time to react when the merman pushed him to the ground, carefully lying himself on John’s body with hands on both sides of his head, wary to keep the heavy tail mostly on the sand.</p><p>“Don’t worry, you’ll always be my favorite human,” he assured John, sealing the promise with a kiss. </p><p>“Mmm,” John hummed, delighted and stroked his palms up and down Arthur’s ribs, feeling the skin tingling under his touch and side fin fluttering against his thigh. “Keep being sweet on me like that and you can get an early repeat of what we did before breakfast.”</p><p>Arthur grinned playfully. “That’s a threat or a promise?”</p><p>“Let’s find out, big man,” John offered, already feeling the thrill of what’s about to come.</p><p>Arthur didn’t need any other invitation to lean down for another kiss. John wrapped his arms around him and enthusiastically kissed back as they laid on the sand in each other’s embrace.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So John is a monster fucker. Color me surprised. No Old Boy to interupt the boys today and it's about to only get better from now. </p><p>John is going to introduce Lenny to Arthur. What can go wrong with that? 👀<br/>Just kidding(or am I?), Lenny isn't a dick. It should be fun. What's funny I wasn't planning on this, it sort of just came out on its own. Planning a story is pain in the ass, it never wants to stay the way it is.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. The Rat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After their first time, John and Arthur’s relationship blossomed in a new way. They started being intimate every day, more often than not a couple of times a day. They tossed on the sand or in shallow water like two teenagers in the hay, kissing, rutting against one another, stroking or sucking off each other. Sometimes all they needed was lay in each other’s arms, with John naked to feel their bodies better. Because who needs clothes when they are taken off most of the time anyway?</p><p>It was heaven. John didn’t remember ever having this much fun with sex. Previous times having sex with people weren’t bad or anything, and it felt good most of the times. But he never imagined himself laughing during sex, talking as much as he and Arthur did. He didn’t know it was possible. Sleeping with someone always meant simply making them feel good and feeling good in return. With Arthur it was not only this but also teasing, joking, talking, making each other laugh for no other reason but to see each other happy.</p><p>John was loving this. This new side of sex. Which was also new in another way. Humbly, he had to admit he was rather good at making humans feel good but a merman? That was new. For Arthur it was new as well and so they both learned together, finding out which places on their bodies felt good, where they were ticklish(which they also used to turn sex into a simple play) and how to drive each other crazy. John felt like a virgin all over again and he couldn’t lie, it felt rather good to explore sex for the first time again.</p><p>It was also the first time he was emotionally connected to the person he was fooling around with. It was changing a lot, making it more intense. While John always took pride in making other people cum, when he was doing it to Arthur, deep throating him or jerking him off till the merman was a trembling mess under him, it was more than just a pride for his skills. It almost felt to him like he was experiencing all of that pleasure too, only weaker but not less satisfying. He loved watching Arthur feeling good. It was making him feel good as well and later making his own orgasm better when the merman was returning a favor. It was so good in fact that he wouldn’t mind not coming at all. Seeing Arthur panting under him and getting back to himself, was enough of a treat to make John not want anything else.</p><p>Which didn’t mean he wasn’t always grateful for the merman pushing him to the ground and licking all over his body. God, that tongue was the work of a devil, created specifically to bring a man to his knees, begging for a sin of sodomy. No one would be able to resist that tongue, John was sure of it. He sure couldn’t when Arthur was practically wrapping it around his cock.</p><p>And those teeth… Nothing could make John cum quicker than feeling them against his hard dick. Arthur knew this and liked to use them when John least expected this. The danger of it was always making the pleasure he was already feeling double in intensity.</p><p>John was sure the merman wouldn’t have used those fangs at all if it wasn’t for how John reacted to them a week ago, after that mermaid attacked him. But because he was sure that John wouldn’t be scared of them or disgusted, Arthur had them out through most of the sex, always ready to nip at the delicate skin of John’s delicate skin, specifically against his pulse point where the merman could feel the blood rushing already because of other things he had done earlier to get John worked up and ready for more. </p><p>John’s throat was definitely Arthur’s favorite spot to play with, always leaving the marks of his teeth there. Whenever John watched himself in the mirror, he could see fresh red spots left the same day, or faint, few days old white scars. The oldest bite marks were already gone, Arthur was never biting hard enough to scar him forever, only to leave a mark for a few days. John proudly wore those tiny marks around Arthur, but never at camp. It would be hard to explain why his neck looked like dozens of snakes bit him once next to another.</p><p>He wasn’t the only marked one. John made sure to leave his share of teeth marks and love bites on the merman. The only place he needed to be wary of were Arthur’s gills on his neck but apart from that, all of the merman’s body was his to mark.</p><p>Arthur’s chest and collarbone were covered with love bites and because he never wore clothes, not that John was doing it much lately when in the bay, John could admire all those marks whenever he wanted. He especially liked the scratch marks on the merman’s back he left lately after intense rutting between them. He couldn’t stop himself and scratched Arthur when the orgasm hit him.</p><p>He could only imagine how bad it would be for his back if Arthur tried the same with his claws, which, unlike his fangs, he couldn’t retract. Sometimes the merman was grabbing him hard enough to pierce the skin and spill a few droplets of blood but that was it. Scratching would shred John’s back no doubt. He still remembered how that mermaid’s wrists looked and she had some scales to protect her there.</p><p>Pleasuring each other with their mouth or hands was the farthest they got. John wasn’t sure how to ask Arthur to fuck him. Because he figured out he would have to be the one on the receiving end since in his exploration of merpeople’s anatomy, he discovered Arthur didn’t exactly have a hole to be fucked in. The slit where his cock was hidden was too small for that, if he was a mermaid, the slit would be much bigger, perfect for John to slip his dick in.</p><p>He didn’t mind being on the bottom. He preferred it anyway and he couldn’t wait till he would feel Arthur filling him. The only problem was how to ask for that. Maybe he should just turn on all fours the next time they would have sex and suggest it that way? Would Arthur even understand that? Merpeople didn’t have that position. John noticed Arthur was always laying down, either on his back, side or on John himself. Having sex would probably be easier for him in a water, he was born for it after all.</p><p>John wasn’t. But maybe they would be able to make it work some way. He needed to figure it out because he really wanted Arthur to fuck him. Maybe it would make him numb for the problems in the gang.</p><p>Nothing new exactly happened, Dutch was still looking at him suspicious but never brought up the betrayal. They didn’t speak at all, in fact, Dutch avoided him, opting for watching him from afar instead, as if it was going to help him get to the truth. John wondered when their leader became so stupid.</p><p>Micah was John’s constant observator as well but John wasn’t as bothered by him as by Dutch. Seeing suspicion in Bell’s eyes also wasn’t painful like in Dutch’s case. Because of that, John sometimes wondered if returning to the camp for the night and spending every day in the bay wasn’t better. At least he avoided being ostracized because most of the gang, including Dutch, was asleep by then. But it wasn’t helping him look like he wasn’t a traitor. Hiding wasn’t a solution.</p><p>Whenever he had those doubts, he kept reminding himself how good it was to spend the night with his lover. Waking up in Arthur’s arms, sometimes kissed by him or touched so the first sound escaping John’s lips in the morning was a moan of pleasure, was worth spending the day in the camp where his own leader didn’t want him. He would never regret spending a night with the merman and wouldn’t change it for the safety of his tent and avoiding Dutch. He also stopped neglecting his friends that way so it was another reason to keep doing that, even if he missed Arthur through the day.  </p><p>So he kept coming back for a day, spending the next one and the night with Arthur and returning to the camp in the morning. He would work then, talk with others, being himself like before he met the merman. He knew it wasn't enough for Dutch but John could do nothing more yet. He visited towns two times but never found anything worth robbing to bring Dutch on a silver plate. He was losing hope for ever finding anything. It looked like robbing a bank was unavoidable. But if that wouldn’t be enough to make Dutch trust him again, the gang would leave and John would stay knowing his surrogate father hated him.</p><p>But if he wasn’t going to find anything soon, it could happen anyway. Sooner or later the gang would move, either way John was staying with Arthur and he would regret not trying with the bank. But he didn’t want to risk being recognized by the locals, that would complicate his living situation if he was to be wanted in town and the nearby area. He and Arthur would have to move as well. Which wasn’t such a bad idea but John liked their bay, the merman was safe there, something that wasn’t guaranteed in other places.</p><p>“What a goddamn mess,” he sighed to himself, finding himself repeating those words every day lately. Nothing was describing his situation better. Maybe only ‘John Marston was a moron. Again.’ That was a good way to call it too.</p><p>He was just getting back from the bay for another day with the gang. He already ate breakfast with the merman and had a new set of bite marks hidden under the bandana. Not to mention his body still buzzed pleasantly with the remains of the goodbye orgasm they gave each other.</p><p>John smiled at the memory of that just as he was entering the camp, licking his lips that were wrapped around Arthur’s cock just a couple a minutes ago. He could still taste the merman on them or feel him in his throat after Arthur fucked it eagerly. John was glad that he had previous experience in sucking a cock because with the length of that of Arthur’s, it was really helpful.</p><p>Best cock I’ve ever sucked, he thought to himself, still grinning. And the tastiest. He had no idea what was in the slick that always covered the merman’s shaft, but it was really making John swallow him deeper. Maybe that was the point.</p><p>His good mood didn’t last long. It never really did while in the camp lately. Sometimes his day was okay, sometimes he felt like hiding in his tent, that’s how intense Dutch’s gaze was. But when he noticed Micah storming towards him, John knew this day would be terrible and it barely even started.</p><p>“There is the rat!” Micah shouted accusingly.</p><p>John narrowed his eyes and glared at him. “What did you call me?” he growled.</p><p>Micah got to him and pushed him, his hand hovering over his revolver.</p><p>“I called you, a damn rat!” he repeated, pointing a finger at John. “You sold us out!”</p><p>“What the hell are you talking about?!” John shouted back, taken aback by the accusation. Sold out the boys?</p><p>More people walked to them, including Dutch, who looked really furious. John took a step back. He wanted to say it was only from Micah and him spitting in his face while yelling, but it would be a lie.</p><p>“The law almost killed us! Because you sold us out, you snake!”</p><p>“Micah, shut up!” Hosea silenced him. “That’s a serious accusation you’re throwing around, boy!”</p><p>John gaped at everyone. Only now he noticed that Bill looked a little bruised, Lenny’s hat had a bullet hole in it and Micah had a swelling on his face and few scratches on it, like he collided with something. Something like the ground from a fall.</p><p>“Sold out?” he repeated, looking at everyone for an explanation. “What are you talking about?”</p><p>He was confused. He was gone for a day and suddenly there weren't just words against him anymore, something happened to Micah, Bill and Lenny. He didn’t even know they had a job going on.</p><p>“The boys were attacked at dawn while robbing a stagecoach,” Hosea explained calmly. “It was supposed to carry letters and among them, some cash. A good source gave them information about this.”</p><p>“Yeah, I specifically checked that fella,” Lenny added, stepping forward next to Hosea. He didn’t look like he was blaming John for the bust but he didn’t look entirely convinced of his innocent either. “It was a good score, only one guard.”</p><p>“But suddenly there was a law coming at us from all over!” Micah yelled again, getting into John’s face. “I wonder why that is,” he hissed.</p><p>“And you think I told them?!” he shouted angrily and looked at Dutch. “I didn’t even know about their job! Come on, Dutch!”</p><p>“Where was you?” Dutch asked simply, ignoring John's pleading eyes.  </p><p>“You know where,” he answered, starting to feel nervous, like a trapped animal. They didn’t even let him take off the saddle from Old Boy and the horse was getting agitated with all the yelling.</p><p>“He was with his girl, Dutch, you know that,” Hosea interrupted, placing a hand on Dutch’s arm. The leader shook it off. Hosea didn’t let that stop him. “He’s not a rat, for god’s sake, it’s John we are talking about!”</p><p>“Where was you?” he asked again, ignoring Hosea, his voice so cold it made John shiver.</p><p>“Dutch asked you a question, boy!” Micah hurried him, pushing him again.</p><p>“Don’t touch me!” John ordered him and sent him a glare. “I don’t need to tell you where I was. You all know, it ain’t a secret!”</p><p>“No, I don’t!” Dutch roared. John winced. “I don’t know because you never tell! You never told this girl’s name, who she is, where she lives.” Dutch stepped closer to him, towering slightly over John and making him want to curl around himself. “I may believe in your girl but how do I know you still ain’t selling us out to the law?”</p><p>John gulping, holding the eye contact. “Because you know me, Dutch.” He tried to speak calmly to not escalate the situation further. “I wouldn’t betray the gang, you know it.”</p><p>“I ain’t sure of anything anymore,” Dutch admitted, his anger seemingly burned out for now because he said it much calmer. “So I ask you again, where was you tonight? Or any other night. Tell me the place, let me see there is nothing to worry about and we’ll forget anything even happened. We’ll look for the real rat instead.”</p><p>He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. Arthur would be in danger, and he didn’t have a chance yet to introduce the merman to Hosea and Lenny, so he couldn’t count on them to be on his side. They were, Hosea more than Lenny right now but it wasn’t enough. </p><p>“I won’t tell you, I have the right to have secrets,” he responded, which was a wrong thing to say.</p><p>“You lost that right when three people almost lost their life!” Dutch shouted again, pointing at Bill, Lenny and a very angry looking Micah. “It’s not time for secrets, son, it’s time to be honest! Ever since we came here you started disappearing for whole days, now even night. And suddenly the law knows about our moves? Isn’t that suspicious to you?”</p><p>“It looks bad,” he admitted hesitantly. He looked around, hoping for some support but even Hosea backed off for now. “But I ain’t a rat, I swear!”</p><p>“Your word would’ve meant something once but not right now!” God, that hurt so much. John wanted to throw up. “Not after boys almost got killed.”</p><p>“I didn’t spill!” John protested. “I told you, I didn’t even know they had something! Or where! Stagecoaches can be risky, even ones that look easy, you know how it works, you robbed them for years!” John looked frantically for a way out of this. His eyes landed on Bill. “Maybe Williamson talked!” he suggested. Bill snapped his head up to face him, grunting with anger. “He’s an idiot, even bigger when he’s drunk. He could’ve said something accidently!”</p><p>He wasn’t proud of putting the blame on someone else, especially this blindly, being no better than Dutch right now, but he had no other choice. And Bill was a good explanation since John clearly wasn’t a rat.</p><p>“I’m no rat!” Bill shouted, offended, and rushed at John, ready to fight.</p><p>John took a stance for a fight and raised his fists to protect himself but the fight never started, Hosea stopped it stepping between the two of them. “Enough!” Bill didn’t look like he wanted to step away from the fight, his face was all red from anger and he no doubt wanted nothing more but to break a few of John’s bones. But he knew better than disobey Hosea and so he marched away, grumbling.</p><p>John lost the fighting stance but he didn’t relax. He couldn’t, anything could happen at any moment, including a gun being pointed at him. He doubted it would happen but he once doubted that Dutch would ever accuse him of being a rat too, yet here he was.</p><p>Hosea eyed everyone, waiting if anyone had anything else to say but they all stayed quiet. Somehow, it made it worse for John. Being judged silently wasn’t pleasant.</p><p>“John, where was you yesterday and the whole night?” Hosea asked suddenly.</p><p>He didn’t expect this question and needed a moment to answer. “With my woman,” he said carefully, checking everyone’s reaction. “At her house.”</p><p>“Where?” Dutch asked immediately.</p><p>Hosea raised his hand at him. “Dutch, don’t. He had the right not wanting to get her involved in this mess.” John let out a small breath of relief and felt his body relaxing slightly as Hosea turned to Micah. “And you. I hear even again you accuse John of being a traitor with no evidence, I’ll shoot you in the face.”</p><p>Micah made a displeased face. “You can’t do that,” he hissed angrily.</p><p>“Can’t I?” Hosea asked, stepping closer to him. “Don’t forget who is the other founder of this gang. I have as much power over every one of you as Dutch. So learn your place, boy.”</p><p>John saw how Micah gritted his teeth, stopping himself from saying back something stupid.</p><p>He didn’t stop himself good enough. “You ain’t scaring me, old man.”</p><p>“I may be old,” Hosea admitted. “But I ain’t with one foot in the grave yet, and I have twice as much experience as you. So step down from your throne, Mr. Bell, because you ain’t scaring nobody either.”</p><p>Micah growled but didn’t say anything else, smartly stepping back from Hosea who, satisfied, turned back to Dutch. “That would be all, don’t you think?”</p><p>“That’s all?” Dutch repeated, staring at his closest friend. Hosea didn’t even blink when Dutch glared at him. “You’re not gonna ask more questions?”</p><p>“I know enough, we talked already.”</p><p>“Oh you did, didn’t you? Why am I not surprised?”</p><p>“Yes,” Hosea confirmed, not cutting eye contact with Dutch even for a moment. “I too don’t know everything but I don’t need to. I trust John. And everyone who thinks he betrayed us needs to prove that, not demand him to prove his innocence.”</p><p>“I ain’t a rat, Dutch,” John swore again. “Just ask the others.”</p><p>But the rest of the gang didn’t look like they trusted him completely, not even his closest friends. They all looked at him like maybe there was some truth in those gossips. Before it were just words but today, after the law almost got Micah, Bill and Lenny, no one was sure of John’s innocence anymore. Maybe they weren’t saying it was him, but they had their suspicions, their doubts. And John didn’t even blame them. </p><p>After all, what were the chances that it was just a coincidence? It could be, that’s why no one except Micah and Dutch grabbed their pitchforks yet. But it would be a matter of time. If something would happen again, no matter if someone else was a rat or the law just figured out where the gang would attack next on their own, there would be only one person to blame. Because John was an easy target right now, keeping secrets, vanishing for whole days and now even nights. So what if he was in the camp if he wasn’t taking any part in robberies, too busy to be prepared for one?</p><p>John looked away from everybody and with a throbbing in his chest, he mounted Old Boy and rode off, watched by the whole gang like he was the worst scum on earth.</p><p>Nobody stopped him and he wasn’t sure what emotion was stronger in him at the moment, relief or saddens.</p><p>There was only one place he could go to right now. He could visit the town, look for a score but he was too nervous and angry for that now, he wouldn’t be able to focus. He needed to calm down for now and Arthur knew how to do that.</p><p>So he led Old Boy towards the bay, riding at a steady pace and hoping that the ride alone would help him let go of some of the negative emotions. But it was clear it wasn’t working and he growled in frustration.</p><p>John was just about to make Old Boy enter the gallop when all the hair on the back of his neck stood up suddenly.</p><p>Someone was following him.</p><p>John fought the need to turn around and check who was tailing him. That was the mistake number one many people were making. What he needed to do was outmaneuver that person so they couldn’t follow him to the bay.</p><p>Instead of getting out of the path to enter the forest ahead, he followed it left, going south. He had no idea what was there except some ranches and farms but hopefully he would be able to get rid of his tail sooner or later.</p><p>To not look like he was running, he kept the speed he was going with and rode calmly, trying to see where he would be able to turn and lose the tail. He could still feel someone watching him and he had no doubt it was someone from the camp but he couldn’t be sure if it was a friend or Micah. It could be Sadie, Javier or Lenny, definitely not Charles, he was a better tracker than that, but John couldn’t risk Arthur's life like that. He could confront that person, ask why they were following him but then he wouldn’t be able to lose them, they would ask questions or demand to go with him. After all, why was he so reluctant to introduce his mistress to his friends?</p><p>No, he needed to lose them and he knew how.</p><p>He made a sharp turn to the left, away from the road, making Old Boy jump. It would be easier to lose the tail in the forest but there was a chance that whoever was following him would discover Old Boy waiting on the cliff. Or the patch of the ground bare of any grass that the horse ate.</p><p>No, the forest wasn't safe and he would be too close to Arthur. But there were some shrubs on the left. Old Boy protested when sharp leaves and twigs smacked him on the body but that was a sacrifice he needed to sustain if he wanted to see his favorite merman again. The shrubs weren’t even that sharp to cut the horse’s skin, they just prickled, John felt it even through his pants.</p><p>In some places bushes were high enough that even such a tall horse like Old Boy was hidden in them. John jumped from the saddle and started leading his mount. His skin wasn't as thick as Old Boy’s and soon his hands were covered with scratches because of pushing away the foliage out of his and his horse’s faces.</p><p>Bushes had two other advantages. They were full of critters that started running away from him and Old Boy, moving the branches everywhere and making it impossible to locate them if someone was trying to spot them. But most importantly, their tracks weren't visible unless someone would be crawling on the ground, because even close to it the branches were thick.</p><p>John led them like that for a good fifteen minutes till they went out on the road again. Using his binoculars, he checked if someone was on either side of the road but it was empty. Not relieved yet, John patted Old Boy on the rump and the horse crossed the road obediently while John covered their tracks on it.</p><p>When he was sure it was impossible to tell if someone crossed the road in this spot, he followed his horse that was already on his way to the forest. John saddled up and he and Old Boy trotted between the trees. Only behind the cover of them he felt safe and let out a relieved breath. He needed to be careful from now on, if people started to follow him, they could easily discover Arthur. The bay was hidden well, even with the missing grass it would be almost impossible to discover the entrance but John wasn’t willing to risk it. Grass would grow back eventually but not if Old Boy would still be there.</p><p>That’s why after double checking if he really wasn't followed and arriving on the cliff, instead of leaving Old Boy there, he took the horse with him. The gelding followed without a fuss. Arthur wasn’t in the bay, he went for a swim when they said goodbye to each other. But John already felt better in a familiar place.</p><p>He led Old Boy under the cliff and unsaddled him. The gelding shook his body and huffed. “Bringing hay and water here would be hard but I can’t leave you up there,” he explained to his mount. “We need to keep Arthur safe.”</p><p>Maybe they would have to stop seeing each other for a while, at least till John would prove he wasn’t a rat. Hosea said he didn’t have to do it but it wasn’t that easy. Nothing ever was with Dutch when he got his head into something.</p><p>John didn’t want to stop seeing Arthur. As of right now, that was the brightest part of his day and he didn’t want it to end even for a short while.</p><p>Sighing, he got rid of his weapon belt, satchel and stripped from his shirt and boots, leaving only pants on. If he got lucky, maybe he would ditch them later too. He could use some touching to get his mind off the terrible situation at camp.</p><p>He couldn’t believe someone actually informed the law. There was no way they found out on their own, they boys knew better than that. Someone had to spill, either their contact or one of them while in town. John really wouldn’t put it past Bill to speak while drunk. He liked the fella to some extent but he was an idiot and he was capable of forgetting what he shouldn’t tell random people. Or not to shout it too loud while speaking with other gang members. He and Callanders once got in trouble like that because of Bill’s big mouth.</p><p>John sat on the sand near the water, putting his legs into it. After the attack from the mermaid, he didn’t dare to sit by the deeper water, even though the merman was assuring him the chances of getting attacked again were slim. John didn’t want to take even the smallest chance and he was only getting onto the stone belt when Arthur was in the water on the other side, ready to protect him.</p><p>He waited almost an hour for the merman, simply staring at the ocean. He thought about doing something else, sitting with Old Boy, drawing, anything but he didn’t have any motivation for any of this. So he waited and when Arthur eventually arrived, a worried expression appeared on his face.</p><p>“Hey,” he said, slipping from the rocks and getting through the shallow water to join John. “Everything okay?”</p><p>“No,” John answered truthfully and laid back on the sand. Arthur laid down next to him right away, sensing what he needed and curling his wet body around him. John smiled at him despite how miserable he felt right now. “Some of the boys robbed a stagecoach today and they were attacked by the law.”</p><p>“Are they okay?” Arthur asked, stroking the muscles of John’s belly.</p><p>“Lenny and Bill, thankfully yes. Micah, unfortunately, also yes.” Arthur chuckled. In other circumstances it would make John smile wide but not this time. “Somehow the law found out about their attack and set a trap.”</p><p>“And they’re blaming you.”</p><p>John nodded and turned his body to face Arthur, hugging him back and sinking into the merman’s embrace. “I’m not a rat,” he whispered into Arthur’s neck. “I would never sell anyone, no matter the price.”</p><p>“I'm sure everyone knows that.”</p><p>“Do they?” He raised his head to look at Arthur. “Because I saw something different today. Nobody stood in my defense. Except Hosea. Even my closest friends aren’t sure about my loyalty anymore. Why would they? It all makes sense! And I brought it upon myself.”</p><p>If he wasn't so stupid and naïve, nothing of this sort would’ve been happening right now.</p><p>“It’s not your fault,” Arthur promised him, kissing him gently. John didn’t even find motivation in himself to kiss back but he was glad for Arthur’s attempt to make him feel better. “You couldn’t predict it would happen when you started coming here.”</p><p>“But I should’ve told something sooner.” That was his biggest mistake. He nuzzled back into Arthur, holding into him for dear life. The merman was the only person keeping him grounded right now.</p><p>Arthur nuzzled him back, letting out a sound that resembled a purr but it was much deeper. John felt it jumping onto his own body from where it resonated in the merman’s chest.</p><p>“Wish I could help you somehow,” Arthur admitted sadly. “If I could, I would walk to Dutch and tell him that you’re innocent.”</p><p>“I know you would.” John kissed Arthur’s throat where there were no gills. “And you’re helping enough, even right now.”</p><p>The merman hummed. “Still feel like a bad mate not being able to do more.”</p><p>“Even I can’t do more right now,” John noticed and looked back at him, smiling at Arthur and kissing him gratefully. “But I appreciate your concern.”</p><p>Arthur took his hand in his and looked him deep into eyes. “Always.” He would’ve been lost without the merman right now. “Did you find anything to show Dutch you ain’t a traitor yet?”</p><p>John shook his head. “No, not yet.” He should probably start planning the bank heist, even if just in case. Maybe in the meantime he could find something else. “I was going to go today, take Lenny with me, he offered help. Maybe talk with him about meeting you, get him prepared. But I’m not going to get back to camp today so maybe I’ll visit the town in the evening. Maybe I’ll have better luck at night.”</p><p>Every outlaw knew the biggest scums with best information were coming out mostly at night. After a few drinks at the saloon, their tongues should be loose enough to get something out of them for the cheapest price or even for free.</p><p>“You’ll be back for the night?”</p><p>“Wouldn’t miss feeling your arms around me.” John brought his face closer again and kissed Arthur one more time. The merman let out a content sigh and kissed back, their lips moving slowly against one another. “I would go now, I was even planning too since you didn’t expect me back.”</p><p>“Maybe I didn’t but I always want you here.” Arthur raised his hand and brushed John’s cheek with his claws.</p><p>“Thank you,” John whispered, turning his head to kiss those gentle fingers. Arthur smiled at him. “I needed to see you. This bay, you… It calms me down.”</p><p>“How about a swim?” the merman suggested. “The ocean is calm today, we could float far from the land, just you and me. And probably some fish underwater.”</p><p>John chuckled, already feeling better. “As long as no merperson will be joining us.”</p><p>“If someone tries, I’ll do the same I did to the last one,” Arthur promised in a serious tone. John’s body trembled at his statement, appealed by the merman’s protectiveness.</p><p>He licked his lips before answering. “Lead the way then.”</p><p>“I reckon you know it,” Arthur teased, rolling from him to crawl into the water.  </p><p>John huffed and followed him all the way to the rock belt. Arthur was already in the deeper water and John carefully slipped in as well, holding onto the rocks all the time. When the merman turned his back to him, John quickly switched his lifeline to him and they swam right away.</p><p>He barely flinched when they dived for the first time to leave the bay. He was getting more and more used to this. Sometimes he was tempted to learn how to swim so he could do it with Arthur, not only his back but he was afraid his fear was too great to fight it. He also doubted Arthur could teach him since he was doing it differently than humans who, according to him, was clumsy in the water, even those who could swim well.</p><p>John wasn’t surprised. Even the fastest swimming human would have no chance in a race against a merperson, with their grace.</p><p>“I hope Old Boy will be okay,” John said after they left the bay behind. He looked back at it and his horse on the land. “What if some other merperson will try to eat him.”</p><p>“I told you already no one else will come,” Arthur promised him. “I never saw any merperson this close to land. And I doubt anyone would want to hunt a horse when there are lots of fish in the ocean or seals to eat.”</p><p>John didn’t feel reassured. “He’s all alone there. Would he be able to protect himself?”</p><p>“I’m sure he will be fine.”</p><p>“Horses usually run away from danger, not fight it.”</p><p>“I doubt any merperson from my colony has ever seen a horse. And Old Boy is big, they wouldn’t even know what to do with it outside of the water, how to attack it.”</p><p>“Hope you’re right.” He wouldn’t want to get back to the bay and see his horse being eaten by a hungry mermaid or a merman.</p><p>“Why did you bring him anyway?” Arthur turned his head to look at him. That didn’t stop him from swimming in a straight line. Sometimes John was convinced the merman had an inner compass because that’s the only explanation how he knew where to swim even underwater, without any land to help with directions.</p><p>“Ah, I’m worried someone will find him.” John didn’t really want to tell he was followed and worry Arthur with it but the merman deserved the truth. And to be aware that someone else than John could enter the bay at any moment. “Someone followed me after I left the camp.”</p><p>Arthur tensed under him and his tail swat under the water harder, making them swim faster for a moment.</p><p>“Do you know who?”</p><p>“Someone sloppy, that’s for sure.” But it still worried him because next time he might not notice. “You better not stay in the open while I ain’t with you.”</p><p>“I hate hiding in the water,” Arthur admitted. “I spent most of my life there and I love land.”</p><p>“I know. But this will be safer. I can’t promise I’ll shake off the tail every time.”</p><p>Arthur huffed in annoyance. “I hope it’ll be all over soon.”</p><p>“I’m sorry.” He felt guilty for putting Arthur into this as well.</p><p>“Not your fault.”</p><p>John knew better. “I’m still sorry,” he said stubbornly. “I’ll try to fix it soon. I’ll talk to Lenny and Hosea tomorrow, bring them here. Maybe Dutch will believe at least one of them.” </p><p>“He better, or I’ll swear I’ll crawl all the way to your camp to talk to him.”</p><p>John smiled and rested his cheek on the top of Arthur’s hair. “You’re sweet.”</p><p>“Only for you,” Arthur replied fondly.</p><p>He swam till the land was only a faint line in the distance. To John, it still looked a little scary and if he was in a boat, he would’ve been freaking out right now. But with Arthur he felt perfectly safe and relaxed on his chest when the merman turned onto his back so they could float freely.</p><p>John closed his eyes and let the ocean free him of any worries with its steady waves and quiet humming. He went pliant on Arthur’s chest and just rested, feeling his head clear itself from the negative thoughts, leaving only the feeling of content being with his love in the middle of the ocean, with no one to bother them, to threaten them.</p><p>With no Dutch or the gang.</p><p>Arthur started humming at some point, a deep calming sound coming from his chest, right under John’s ear, mixing with the already soothing beats of the merman’s heart. And when some time later Arthur told him to hold his breath, John compiled without a word and not even a second later, they sank underwater, slowly going deeper without Arthur moving a muscle or shifting his position.</p><p>John clung to him but otherwise he was relaxed and calm. He didn’t even open his eyes, just listened. To Arthur’s song, to his heart, to the ocean. He never felt so calm in his life like in this moment when only he, Arthur and the water existed, and the only thing stopping him from staying here forever was his need for air.</p><p>And god, how he wished he could stay here forever in this beautiful ocean and not worry about a thing ever again. He loved it here, even underwater. He never thought he would say this, but he could live like that, with Arthur, swimming together for the rest of their life. If he focused enough, he could almost imagine having a tail that would brush against Arthur’s right now. A tail covered with sparkling red scales, darker at the top and getting lighter while going down. It would look perfect wrapped with Arthur’s tail in a loving embrace, in the same way the merman liked to do with his legs.</p><p>He held the air as much as he could, he was sure he would be able to handle being underwater for a couple of more seconds but he felt with disappointment that was Arthur getting back on the surface already, his body raising up towards the surface.</p><p>John took a deep breath and opened his eyes, feeling a little lost but so good he didn’t mind. Arthur stared back at him, a gentle smile on his lips. “You good?” he asked. “Thought you fell asleep on me.”</p><p>“Almost,” he admitted, feeling slightly stupid. Because what normal human wants to fall asleep underwater?</p><p>But Arthur wasn’t thinking the same. “Ocean can be calming like that. The most calming place in the world.”</p><p>“Saw couple of calming place on land too.” John crossed his arms on Arthur’s chest and rested his chin on the joined palms, his finger touching one of the love bites on the merman’s collarbone “Deep in the forest, with birds singing over your head. A river stretching for miles, water flowing slowly while you sit on the railing of a bridge. Open prairies where you can lay among the tall grass and just… forget about everything. Or mountains, with ridges, valleys and a wind howling between snowed peaks.”</p><p>Arthur closed his eyes while listening to him. “Hmm. I don’t know how most of it looks but it sounds nice.”</p><p>“I will show you.” Arthur looked at him curiously. “I’ll bring photos. Books with pictures.” He should’ve done this ages ago. “And I’ll tell you all about it,” he promised.</p><p>“Can’t wait.”</p><p>John smiled and climbed higher up Arthur’s body to kiss him. He was still a bit out of breath after the diving but he didn’t care and gladly lost his breath again, stolen easily by Arthur.</p><p>They would’ve stayed in the water all day if it wasn’t for John getting cold. He was without a shirt so it happened faster than usual. His teeth were chattering while Arthur swam them back as fast as he could. When they reached the bay, John climbed the rocks in a hurry and rushed to the blanket that he brought here with him some time ago and was laying near the remains of the tonight's fire. He wrapped himself in it and sat on the ground, telling Old Boy to lay down next to him. The gelding obeyed and John snuggled into his warm body.</p><p>“Left for a horse,” Arthur chuckled while finally joining him. “You never cuddle with me like that.”</p><p>“You’re cold,” John reminded, staggering a little. But he managed a smile for the merman who crawled to the wood supply John collected to not run up the cliff every time.</p><p>“That’s harsh.” Arthur brought the wood with him and arranged the fire back which John had to lit up himself. The merman wasn’t yet good with matches but he was getting there.</p><p>“You can cuddle me through the blanket,” John suggested and scooted closer to Old Boy, making space for Arthur who gladly took the offer, hugging John with one arm while John warmed up his hands over the growing fire. He started getting back the feeling in his fingers then grew numb in the water. “How am I always getting cold, the water is warm.”</p><p>“You humans are pathetic. I’m surprised water isn’t a poison for you, it’s so dangerous to you.”</p><p>John rolled his eyes. “Thanks.”</p><p>“Just speaking the truth,” Arthur replied with a grin and put his nose on John’s neck where the blanket wasn’t covering him. John gasped at the coldness. After being in the water Arthur was always colder than normal. “Sorry.”</p><p>“You’re not sorry at all, you asshole, that was deliberate.”</p><p>Arthur’s grin was all the answer John needed to know he was right.</p><p>It took some time but John warmed up eventually. Sun helped and he could eventually cuddle with Arthur without any barrier between them.  </p><p>“You feel better now?” Arthur asked, rubbing at his back. John still felt vulnerable so he was hiding his face in the merman’s neck again, squeezing him tight against himself.</p><p>“Much better,” he sighed in response, getting almost completely limp in Arthur’s arms. “You feel nice.”</p><p>“Nicer than a horse?”</p><p>John laughed and raised his head, kissing the merman on the nose. He laughed again at the way it scrunched. “Don’t be jealous of a horse.”</p><p>“Said someone who was jealous himself,” Arthur reminded him. Of course he noticed it.</p><p>“Shut up,” he hissed, too embarrassed to think of something else.</p><p>“Make me,” Arthur challenged him.</p><p>John liked a good challenge. With a smirk, he turned Arthur onto his back and climbed him, trying to pin him to the ground and kiss him. Arthur only allowed him one of those things and when he had John exactly where he wanted him to be, he released his tail from under him and flipped their position.</p><p>The kiss was broken and John landed on his back with a grunt, Arthur hovering over him and looking very smug. “That’s all you got?”</p><p>“You didn’t even see the half of it yet,” John growled back and attacked the merman who laughed.</p><p>Their wounds had already healed so they didn’t have to worry about one of them hurting the other accidently. It could happen, they were fighting after all but pulling at the stitches was more dangerous than some few painful shoves or nabs.</p><p>They tossed on the sand, with Arthur easily pressing John to the ground every time. “That’s not fair, you’re too heavy!” he complained when he landed on the ground again, this time with his face in the sand.</p><p>Arthur laid half of his body on him, not even the heaviest part and John still was helpless, with the merman’s hand pressing his face to the ground. “That's all skills, Johnny,” Arthur told him, leaning to his ear.</p><p>“Skill my ass, you’re just fat!” he grumbled, trying to free himself.</p><p>“I’m all muscles,” Arthur assured him with a chuckle and plastered his body against John’s, demonstrating his muscles in the best way possible. John shuddered under him and took an equally shuddering breath, suddenly not so eager to get from under Arthur. Even though his weight was making him a bit breathless.</p><p>He didn’t have much space to move, but John tried anyway and lifted his ass up, rubbing against the slit on Arthur’s tail, positioned perfectly above. The merman gasped and John smiled proudly. “Something wrong?” he asked innocently.</p><p>“Far from it,” Arthur assured him, a recognizable need in his voice. His hips rutted against John slowly, teasingly almost. It was John’s time to gasp quietly and rut back, their hips meeting in the middle.</p><p>Arthur took his hand from John’s head and continued rolling his hips in a slow pace, his growing arousal becoming obvious. John was getting hard in his pants as well, which considering how wet they still were after a swim, wasn’t good for the future.</p><p>“My pants need to go,” he said, his breathing a little faster already because of the motion of Arthur’s hips against his ass. It was so easy to imagine pants already not being there and the merman entering him with deep thrust, fucking him lazily while pressing John into the ground with his body.</p><p>John curled his hand into the sand, grabbing a fistful of it while his hole clenched at the thought of being filled. Maybe that was a good moment to mention it to Arthur? It was the first time Arthur rutted against him from behind and it felt even better than in his occasional dreams. He could feel the merman’s cock through his pants and he desperately needed to feel it between his cheeks, lubing him up slowly before Arthur would sink in with ease.     </p><p>“They never should be on you,” Arthur husked into his ear, making him hot all over despite the coldness of his body.</p><p>“On the street, no. In here? Couldn’t agree more,” he moaned, feeling Arthur’s cock even better now that it was harder. His own was trapped between his body and the sand, and with Arthur on him, he couldn’t move much to relieve himself. “So do something productive and help me get them off.”</p><p>“I thought I already was being productive.” Arthur moved his face and stuck it into John’s neck, rubbing it with his stubble, making John giggle.</p><p>“That tickles!” he laughed, twisting under the merman that grinned against his skin.</p><p>Arthur laughed in response and tickled him again. John clawed at the sand desperately and wiggled under Arthur as they both laughed, with the merman’s face pressed close to his neck. John tried to cover it, raising his shoulders but it was too late for that and he had to suffer, with Arthur holding him close and not letting him escape.</p><p>He only freed himself when during his laughing, Arthur’s tail slipped from John’s legs and he could kick them, successfully pushing his body against the merman and throwing him off himself. Arthur fell on the sand still laughing, reacting only when John jumped on him to get his revenge.</p><p>They wrestled on the ground again, all the arousal forgotten for now like it wasn’t even there in the first place and they weren’t even sad for it, having too much fan playing like two children.</p><p>John landed back on the ground again eventually but not as trapped as earlier. He could free himself at any time, the merman was very careful to not crush him. But John didn’t want to escape despite fighting back. He squirmed under Arthur but not really trying to get away from the pointy teeth scratching his skin playfully, doing an even better job than Arthur’s beard earlier. Those fangs could easily kill him, they were designed to tear human flesh, to sink into it and with even the smallest move cause enough damage to make the prey bleed out. And yet, John felt completely safe, he knew Arthur wouldn’t hurt him, and those deadly teeth, instead of doing what they were intended to, only tickled him and caused him to laugh, not scream in horror.</p><p>Arthur was chuckling through all of this, holding John down while he tortured him.</p><p>“Stop!” John pleaded but in return, he only got another chuckle and another tickle. John laughed and turned his head to the sdie. For a short moment, he opened his eyes he held squeezed tight this whole time. His gaze landed on the top of the path leading down to the bay and three people’s standing there in shock.</p><p>John tensed, panicking for a moment before recognizing the silhouette of his friends. But that didn’t calm him down exactly. How did they find him? What were they doing here? And… Oh god, Arthur!</p><p>The merman sensed something was wrong, felt John’s tense body. He stopped what he was doing and looked concerned at John who couldn’t move, too shocked to react to the presence of his friends, to warn his lover about them or to tell him to hide, even though it wouldn’t do anything. The secret was out, Sadie, Charles and Lenny knew, they saw Arthur.</p><p>“You okay?” Arthur asked, checking his neck for injuries. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”</p><p>John didn’t answer, his brain just stopped working, and he had no idea what to do. </p><p>“John?” Arthur’s eyes got narrow and slowly, he turned into the direction John was looking at. With a corner of his eyes, locked solely on his friends and not being able to move them anywhere else, John noticed Arthur’s side fins spreading in a threatening manner, making him look bigger than he already was. John couldn’t see his eyes, but he knew they were black.</p><p>And then a horrifying, inhuman screech came out of him, sounding like it came from the deepest parts of hell. His body moved, hovered even more over John, protecting him. Before his vision got blocked, John noticed Sadie rising her gun and pointing it at Arthur.</p><p>John’s body finally reacted.</p><p>“Sadie, don’t shoot!”</p><p>Tossing Arthur’s body from his own was hard to do when the merman wasn’t cooperating, but some incredible strength filled John and he actually managed to move the merman out of the way of the bullet and jump in front of him just as Sadie pulled the trigger.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>May I introduce you to my friend, Cliff Hanger. </p><p>That's a lie, I hate this guy, but you sometimes got to invite him to the party. Helps the story, you know?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. He Kissed Him</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you all for such lovely comments under the last chapter, I loved them all! </p><p>I finally wrote the new chapter! It took me ages because I didn't like how the first version turned out and deleted it so I had to start from the beggining. Not to mention I'm working on a new multichapter story right now so it took away some of my time as well. First chapter should be up soon and it will be... diferent than my regular stories 👀</p><p>Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The sound of a fired gun was almost painful as it ringed through the bay, echoing from the walls of the cliff. But not as painful as the bullet from the said gun ripping through John’s right arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck!” he screamed. His hand that he used to shield Arthur from the shot, gave up under him and he fell onto the merman. Arthur quickly changed their position, laying John down gently and hovering over him. John swatted at him and pushed him, trying to get him behind himself so Sadie or Charles or Lenny couldn’t shoot at him again, but the strength from earlier left John’s body, there was only pain spreading from the arm. Please don’t shoot again, please don’t shoot again, he begged in his mind while Arthur made himself a living shield. He was ready to die to protect John. He would’ve been touched by it if he wasn’t so horrified.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John, you alright?” the merman asked, his voice filled with panic. His eyes were pretty blue again, John almost got distracted by them. Almost, because he couldn’t admire them like always when there was so much fear in them. “John, you’re bleeding.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” he assured. The pain quickly started to fade, the bullet didn’t hit him directly, only grazed the skin. Deep enough to hurt a lot, but not enough to kill him. “It’s just a scratch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That didn’t calm Arthur down. At all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You got shot,” he panicked. “I know your stupid guns, one shot and you’re dead.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you it’s not true, you need to shoot the vital organ. Or the head. Or the place where there’ll be a lot of blood.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t surprised Arthur forgot about it. He never saw John getting shot before, it could look scary. Hell, it was scary even to John still, and he saw his friends getting shot plenty of times to be used to it by now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There is a lot of blood,” Arthur noticed in a shaking voice, putting his hand on the wound to stop the flow of the red liquid. John hissed at the contact and the hand vanished immediately. “Shit, I’m sorry! I’m making it worse!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John felt the urge to roll his eyes. It was kind of funny how Arthur was panicking, but it was serious for him, John didn’t want to make fun of him right now. Maybe later when he calms down. He grabbed the merman’s hand and put it on the wound again. This time he hid his pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keep your hand there to stop the bleeding,” he advised and then he nudged Arthur’s chin with his finger to make him look up at him, not at the wound and all the blood that started to slip from under Arthur’s palm. “Hey, I’m okay. It’s just a scratch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You got shot,” Arthur said, his voice trembling, matching the fear in his eyes. It pained John to see him like that. “Your guns… They kill with one shot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not always, they don’t,” John promised him. He put his palm on Arthur’s cheek when he tried to look at the wound again. “Hey, look at me darlin’. Eyes on me, that’s right. I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur was still scared, he would probably be even later but right now John needed him as calm as he could get. Thank God Sadie didn’t shoot again. He didn’t even bother to see what his friends were doing, as long as they gave up shooting, calming Arthur was more important.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if you’re not?” Arthur asked in a whisper, scared to even ask.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was shot worst in the past and I survived. You saw the last wound, this ain’t that bad,” John reminded him with an assuring smile. “It doesn’t even hurt anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a lie, but the one he was willing to make.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur breathing was finally getting back to normal and his eyes lost some of the fear. Still a little bit unsure, he nodded in answer to John’s word and his body relaxed, only to tense again a second later when they both heard footsteps coming from behind the merman.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell is going on here?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sadie raised voice and the gun still in her hand was enough to ruin all the effort John put into calming Arthur down. The merman freaked out again, once again standing between John and his friends. He must’ve never heard John shouting Sadie's name, he didn’t know she and the other two were no threat. The gun wasn’t helping either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur screeched again, ready to jump at Sadie who pointed her gun back at him. Now it was John’s turn to panic again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, stop!” he screamed at Arthur, hoping that he would hear it despite all the noise he was creating. He didn’t but John wasn’t under him anymore and could get in front of him with ease, redirecting his attention from Sadie and the others to himself again. “Arthur, stop, they’re friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They shot at us!” Arthur hissed, his body trembling with fear. John got on his knees in front of him and ignoring the pain in his arm, he took the merman’s face in his palms, gently stroking his cheeks. Arthur didn’t look at him, he had his once again black eyes only at the others, not letting them out of his sight. At least he stopped screeching.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was an accident,” he explained softly, looking behind for a moment to check on his friends. Shocked, Sadie lowered her gun but she still had it and it was problematic with how Arthur viewed the firearm. To distract him from it, John made him turn his head so he could only look at John and nothing or no one else. John never stopped stroking his face as well, hoping that the calming touch would work on the tense merman. “They probably misunderstood the situation.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He understood how they could’ve seen him and Arthur playing around as Arthur trying to kill him. The merman was huge, being trapped under something like him would always look like an attempted attack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur was breathing heavily through his fangs, staring at John but not really seeing him. He looked as feral as when he fought that orange tail mermaid, ready to fight and protect John at any given moment. He was getting back to himself with every stroke of John’s thumbs on the skin of his face, his eyes looking less frantic and with more awareness in them. When he blinked the blackness away, he finally looked at John, panic and worry in his eyes. John stared back, hoping that the merman didn’t see the pain in his. The wound hurt a lot, pulsing along with the flow of the blood leaving it.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur hissed like an angry cat when Lenny tried to say something. John heard his friend taking a fearful step back, even though he was already far from them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t talk, just stay away until I calm him down,” John told them, not letting Arthur turn his head and look at the others and blocking his view of them. He shushed the merman and kept stroking his face, eyes on each other. “You’re making him nervous.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“WE are making HIM nervous?!” Sadie repeated. Arthur tensed again, John shushed him one more time and glared back at his friends. They didn’t look much better than Arthur, all three of them tense and nervous, hands ready to grab the guns. John feared that if he didn’t stop everything earlier, it could’ve ended badly. Probably only for Arthur.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now that his friends calmed down a bit, John could put his entire focus on Arthur. He faced the merman again and brought his face closer, resting their foreheads together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, darlin’,” John whispered to him. “We’re safe, nobody is attacking us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You almost died.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fear in Artur’s voice went straight to John’s heart, almost numbing the pain in his arm for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay.” John took Arthur’s hand in his and brought it to his chest, placing it over his heart that beat fast and strong, both from the pain and the entire situation that occurred. “I’m not dead, and I’m not going to die. Everything is alright, sweetheart.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took a few more soothing words and a couple of minutes, but Arthur finally relaxed completely. John let him go when he moved to look at Sadie, Charles and Lenny again, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at them. John’s friends stared back with a mixture of shock, disbelief and nervousness. They never lose their fighting stances and because of that, John stayed where he was, between them and Arthur as he turned to them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing here?” John asked them, moving back to be closer to Arthur. The merman curled protectively around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really, that’s how you gonna start it?” Sadie asked, staring with wide eyes at Arthur, her hands curled tightly around the handle of her revolver. “You’re not going to explain what that is?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s not an it,” John snapped, covering his still bleeding wound with his hand. He grimaced at the pain, he needed to get it tended soon. He wouldn’t bleed to death but leaving it like that wouldn’t be good. “His name is Arthur.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This wasn't how he imagined introducing Arthur to any of his friends but it was a moment as good as any.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t exactly make any sense to Charles and Sadie but Lenny’s eyes grew bigger right away and his mouth went slack in shock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is Arthur?!” he asked in disbelief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Charles and Sadie looked at him surprised. “You know him?” the latter asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, I heard of him, John mentioned him when he was feverish and later confirmed it’s his friend he met but…” Lenny raised his hands helplessly, pointing at Arthur. “I thought he’s just a normal man, not… that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is that exactly?” Sadie demanded, staring at Arthur with worry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop calling him ‘it’!” John growled, the pain making him snappier in addition to irritation from calling Arthur an ‘it’. “He’s not some animal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Could’ve fooled me,” Sadie pointed out, motioning with her gun on the tail, draped over John’s lap. The tail tightened around him immediately when Sadie only waved her gun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll explain everything,” John promised her, gritting his teeth from the pain. “Just please, put your gun away, it’s scaring him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I hope so, he’s dangerous!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No he’s not! Listen to me and put the gun away, Sadie, please!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a tense situation, and those tends to make people act stupid. John didn’t want one of his friends to shoot in panic or Arthur too feel threatened enough to throw himself at the danger. Right now he was keeping still but who knows what he would do if Sadie would keep waving her gun around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John’s friend wasn’t convinced that putting her gun away was a good idea. But she did. Sadie watched Arthur uncertain as she slowly holstered her weapon and took a step back. Lenny and Charles followed, both of them putting their hands up and showing they were unarmed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur relaxed significantly but there was still a long way to a full carefree state they were in before John’s friends showed up… why exactly?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you here?” he asked them again, breathing a little heavier than normal. The pain subdued but it was still there. He didn’t have time to tend the wound right now unfortunately.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All three of his friends shared a guilty look before they focused their gazes back on Arthur. Their staring was clearly making the merman nervous but John couldn’t blame them for that. He was staring a lot the first time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dutch told me to follow you,” Charles explained. “Just after you left. I told him I don’t want to but he insisted. I'm sorry, John, I didn’t exactly have a choice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John didn’t blame him, he knew Charles' story. The man joined because he was tired of being alone and worrying about everything. Opposing Dutch could end up with him ending up alone again. What really hurt was that Dutch told anyone to trail him. It wasn’t just one of the gang members being curious themselves, Dutch didn’t trust him to the point he sent their best tracker after him to see if John wasn’t a traitor. It both angered and hurt him but he had more important things on his head to ponder about it right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” John assured his friend, leaning back against Arthur’s tail. The merman wasn’t saying anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Had to say, you covered your tracks well,” Charles admitted with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not good enough.” If it was someone else like Micah… He didn’t even want to think about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Once we arrived at the spot where there was almost no grass and some remains of hay on the ground, we knew we found the right place,” Lenny added and chuckled nervously. “I'm sorry we went with Charles. He should’ve come alone, no matter what he would’ve discovered, it would be easier to explain to one person. But Sadie and I were curious and…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We went to see your mistress with our own eyes and found no woman but a pet,” Sadie continued.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I ain’t no pet,” Arthur growled at her, putting everyone back into shock. All three of them gaped at the merman. John would’ve laughed at their faces if the circumstances were better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought I heard him talking earlier,” Charles admitted after a while. “But I thought I misheard it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Lenny agreed, not being able to decide if he should be horrified or fascinated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How the hell can that creature talk?” Sadie asked and looked directly at John. “What the hell is going on, Marston? We find you being crushed by that thing instead of being under some skirt, then you panic when we try to kill that monster, throwing yourself in front of it, you console it and now it apparently talks? How do we know it’s not like parrots?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want me to do?” Arthur snapped at her again. “Read an entire book to you? Resolve a math problem? Pray to your silly god? Or maybe you need to see my heart to see it looks no different than yours? I may have a fish tail but I'm very much human. I always have been. So stop calling me an ‘it’ or a ‘creature’.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sadie stared at him, taken aback. John on the other hand, felt pride towards the merman and how he defended himself. If he wasn’t busy with holding his injured arm, he would’ve grabbed Arthur’s hand in his. Instead, he smiled at him but Arthur probably didn’t even see, constantly looking back at John’s friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s not a monster,” John explained to them. “He’s not an animal. He’s half human, half fish, a merman.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lenny blinked, confused. “Wait, like in Greek mythology?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does he sing to lure his victims?” Sadie asked, still suspicious of the merman. “Is that what's happening here? He affected you with his singing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm a terrible singer,” Arthur admitted simply.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The absurdity of the answer seemed to do something with the tense atmosphere. Suddenly the air wasn't so heavy anymore and John barked out a laugh at the faces his friends made, dumbfounded by the reply. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did he just… joked?” Lenny asked, a small smile slowly appearing on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s telling the truth,” John said, smiling himself, relieved everything was slowly going into the right direction. Sadie wasn’t so tense anymore, finally moving her hand away from the holster and he could feel the muscles of Arthur's tail relaxing with every minute. “But he couldn’t have explained he ain’t a monster from a mythology any better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So he’s not dangerous?” Lenny asked to be sure. “If we get closer, he won’t jump at us?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not interested in killing John's friends,” Arthur promised, finally laying down comfortably on the sand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your teeth say otherwise, wherever they went,” Sadie noticed, taking one uncertain step forward. When Arthur didn’t react, she took another. “And what you was doing to John earlier.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We were just playing,” John explained. “He wasn’t trying to hurt me. That’s why I told you not to shoot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sadie was good with guns, she could’ve seriously injured Arthur or even killed him. That’s why while he knew why she reacted the way she did, John was a little angry at her anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I couldn’t know that,” she explained herself. “The first thing we noticed was you being crushed under some creature, I didn’t exactly have time to check if you were just playing or being devoured.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you not to shoot!” John said again. Truth to be told, it was a bit of his fault as well. He should’ve reacted faster than just stare dumbly at his friends, allowing Sadie to shake off the initial shock enough to point a gun at Arthur.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let just be glad no one got killed, yes?” Charles suggested, diplomatic as always. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sadie nodded in agreement and looked away while pointing at John with her chin. “Sorry about your arm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh yeah, he was still injured. It stopped hurting so he forgot about that. Only blood was still flowing but not as intensely as at the beginning. “I’ll be fine,” John assured Arthur. The merman looked back at him. “Can you get me the bandages and your seaweed?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, I have it in my chest,” he said and smiled teasingly. “After the last time I decided to keep it close. You just can’t stop getting hurt, can’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John grinned. If Arthur was joking, the worst definitely passed. “Not my fault, just bad luck.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you had bad luck, you would’ve been dead three times already since I know you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“True,” he agreed and watched Arthur uncurl his tail from around him and crawl away towards the chest under the cliff.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John wasn’t the only one staring, when he turned back to his friends, they were following Arthur with their eyes, some disbelief still present in the.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re seeing him right?” Lenny asked, chuckling nervously. “I ain’t crazy, am I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John snorted. He remembered how confused he was the first time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I see him too,” Charles admitted, curiosity shining in his eyes. “Didn’t know mermaids existed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m very sure no one know that,” Sadie snorted, crossing arms on her chest and looking at John looking for an answer. “You still haven’t told us what is going on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The problem was, John wasn’t exactly sure how to do that. How many things he could share with his friends, both about Arthur and their relationship? He could imagine telling them the merman was eating human flesh could be too much, but their true relationship wasn't any easier to understand. Just a few minutes ago Sadie, Charles and Lenny didn’t even know merpeople existed. It would be hard to grasp for them that John was in love with Arthur, that they weren’t just friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But hiding that information wasn’t fair for the merman. John wasn’t fond of it anyway. He wasn’t ashamed of who he loved and he wanted his friends to know. Lies was what started all this mess after all. Not to mention Lenny would realize soon that Arthur john told him about was the same as merman Arthur.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur returned shortly, carrying everything they needed to take care of the wound. Despite the situation and worry, the merman smiled at him and John decided there wouldn’t be a better occasion to explain what they were to each other. So when Arthur returned to his place by his side and handed him bandages and the seaweed, John bent down slightly and placed a short kiss on his lips, ignoring the blush heating up his cheeks and the collective gasp coming from his friends.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, darlin’,” he said to the merman, loud enough that his friends heard it as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur wasn’t at all bothered by the public display of affection, he just smiled again at John.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re welcome.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John returned his smile, wanting nothing more but to keep staring into those soft eyes but he needed to face his friends. So he turned back to them, expecting hundreds of questions at any moment now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reactions of John’s friends were to be expected. They gaped to him, even the usually well collected Charles. John stunned them into silence and let them process the newest and the most surprising of information.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was nervous about what their second reaction would be. He wouldn’t be surprised if they thought he was insane. Or be disgusted by him. He wouldn’t blame them either. He hated calling Arthur that, but in people’s eyes he was a sea monster and normal people don’t want to get into a relationship with those. They don’t fall in love with something that could eat them. Disgust is a reasonable reaction to a situation like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But John hoped his friends would understand. He desperately needed someone on his side. But apart from that, he just wanted someone to talk to about Arthur. To be proud of him in front of others like any person is about their lover.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sadie was the first one to collect herself. “Did you just kiss him?” she asked. Quietly, too shocked to shout like earlier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John nodded, handing bandages and seaweed back to Arthur. The merman took them without a word and sat on the injured arm’s side to tend to it. “I did,” he confirmed, looking at the merman fondly. Despite being already focused on cleaning the wound, Arthur sensed his gaze and looked up to smile at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John’s confirmation didn’t exactly make anything easier for his friends. They still were out of words and it pained John to see they were horrified to some extent. He was hoping it would change in a moment. That they were going to understand that being with Arthur wasn’t as insane as it may look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You kissed him,” Sadie repeated and then opened her mouth shortly after but no words were coming from between her lips, she had troubles formulating her thoughts on all of this. Lenny and Charles weren’t any better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want to tell us this is your mysterious mistress?” Charles asked carefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John nodded again. “He is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was nothing more he could tell right now. He needed to wait for his friends to come out from shock. Again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jeez, I'm dumb,” Lenny sighed. John smiled. There it was. “Of course you’re together, it’s Arthur.” Sadie and Charles looked at him like he wasn’t any less insane than John. “John told me not so long ago that this Arthur fella wasn’t only his friend, he was in love with him. And this is Arthur!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But, he’s not fully human,” Charles pointed out. He was clearly thinking intensely about this, maybe even imagining how this relationship could look but it was hard to imagine something you never previously seen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s human enough,” John said and turned to look at Arthur again. “He’s as intelligent as you and me, I'm not using him, he agrees to this. It’s a mutual attraction.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He has a tail.” Sadie motioned at it again. “And fangs. And are those claws?” she asked, watching Arthur sanitize John’s wound, doing so so carefully his claws weren't even touching John’s skin. “I can understand you falling for that pretty face and nice chest, but everything else?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If someone told John all those weeks ago that he was going to fall for the merman that scared him when they met, he would have a hard time to believe that too. Arthur was nothing but a strange creature to him then, just looking human. Only with time, when he started to realize there was more to the merman than his tail and saw him as a human, John started falling in love and quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His friends needed that time too. They needed to see Arthur as more than just a creature he was to them now to truly understand how John could fall in love with him. How they both could fall in love and make it work so far.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And John had good feelings about it right now. Because his friends were still here, they didn’t run away or pull their gun. They were shocked and not really understanding everything yet, but willing to do so. He couldn’t have asked for better friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care that he doesn’t look like any other human,” John explained. “I love him for that, fangs or claws don’t bother me and his tail is as beautiful to me as the rest of him.” He blushed after saying that. It was strange to say all of this so openly in front of his friends but it was needed. Besides, Arthur’s smile after hearing this was worth the embarrassment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s probably strange for you,” Arthur spoke up surprisingly. So far he was letting John speak for both of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lenny snorted. “You could say that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur smiled at the kid, any of the previous hostility gone apparently. “Believe me, it isn't a common occurrence for my species either. We stay away from humans.” John was glad Arthur didn’t mention eating humans was the only encounter between their two species. That could be too much for them and even if not, he didn’t need them getting into another shock. “But we fall in love the same way you do, so when I got to know John better, I suddenly wanted him to be more to me than just my friend, no matter how different from me he is. Which isn’t even much. But this was never just about physical attraction. It helped tho.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John could only nod, having nothing to add. But he couldn’t help but tease Arthur a bit. “Didn’t know you were such a romantic.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He barely finished saying that and he was stung with one of Arthur’s claws. He hissed through the grin that was on his face, matching the one on Arthur’s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sadie clearing her throat brought them back to reality. They both blushed and when Arthur returned to taking care of the wound, John turned back to his friends who were smiling at him. Sadie even had a teasing grin. “We’re still here, lover boy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” he muttered, blushing even harder. With Arthur, it was so easy to forget about anything else. “I know it’s strange like Arthur said but we really care about each other.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t want to say they loved each other. It was obvious and he had no doubt about that. He wasn’t ashamed of it either, or scared to say Arthur, he knew the merman loved him back. It just wasn’t the right time to say it for the first time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We knew that even before that speech,” Charles admitted, amused. “It was obvious with how you acted in the camp. We was and still are, just shocked by it, that’s all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll get used to it soon,” Lenny promised and looked at the fin on the end of Arthur’s tail, lazily moving back and forth on the sand. “Or not. But either way we’re happy for you. I’m sure Arthur is a great guy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He really is,” John agreed with a sheepish smile. Another blush appeared on his face when Arthur chuckled. “Shut up,” he hissed at the merman who flashed him a grin before picking up the bandage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John's friends finally stepped even closer to them, sitting down on the sand in front of them, Arthur’s tail separating them. They were still fascinated with it and it showed in their eyes that it was hard for them to believe it was really in front of them, but they didn’t dare to touch it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess we can finally properly introduce you to each other,” John said when Arthur was done with bandaging him. He pecked the merman on the cheek as a thank you and looked at his friends. “Arthur, those are my friends, Charles, Sadie and Lenny. Friends, meet Arthur.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice to meet you all,” Arthur said first, friendly. “Even if you tried to kill me a moment ago.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry about that,” Sadie apologized. “I really thought you were going to eat John here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur smirked. “It was far from it, actually,” he admitted smugly. John nudged him with his elbow, cursing himself for it when a pain ripped through his entire arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sadie chuckled and leaned back, completely comfortable. It was good to see her that way after what happened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nice to meet you too, Arthur,” Lenny said, staring at the merman with so much curiosity it was actually sweet. “I only wish circumstances were better. We didn’t want to scare you. Or interrupt you and John.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t so bad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I actually wanted to introduce you to Arthur,” John confessed, speaking only to Lenny.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” the kid asked surprised. “Why me and not Hosea? Or even Dutch?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hosea was my second choice but you know the most about him. Figured out it would be less explaining. And the safest option.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice to know you trust me and Charles so much,” Sadie joked, not really hurt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was right tho, ain’t I? You shot at us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sadie huffed. “Give me some slack, Marston, he looked like he was eating you alive and then he let out that terrified screech. What was I supposed to do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t shoot like I told you?” he suggested. “He was just protecting me, he didn’t know you were friends. Which was stupid anyway, what were you thinking?” he asked, addressing the merman.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur blinked at him, surprised. “Me? What did I do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You put yourself in front of me and the gun, that’s what!” He was still terrified when he thought about Sadie aiming at the merman. She had a good aim, she would’ve no doubt hit Arthur if John didn’t shove him away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was protecting my mate!” Arthur explained himself. John blushed at the word. He was used to it but now his friends heard it too. “I didn’t care if it was a gun, all I cared about was to keep you safe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think she was aiming at me in the first place?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like it would’ve been the first time a human shot a human!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jesus, how long exactly do you know each other?”  Sadie interrupted them. She didn’t even yell but her voice was loud and powerful enough she didn’t need to. “Because you sound like you’ve been married for years. And believe me, I know how a married couple interact.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John snapped his mouth shut, not interested in arguing anymore. Instead, he blushed, bashful because of Sadie’s comment. Arthur was just glad the argument ended before John could say something back, so he no doubt considered it a win.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone looked at her, amused. “How did you two even meet?” Charles asked after, taking the attention away from Sadie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Couple of weeks ago, the first day we arrived here,” John answered both to Charles’ question and Sadie’s that she asked just a moment ago. “I found this place then but it was empty. I fell into the water while I was investigating it and Arthur saved me then. He even waited to make sure I was fine, we talked, he revealed himself and I almost shot him back then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you’re angry for me reacting the same way,” Sadie grumbled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John grinned but otherwise ignored her comment. “I couldn’t believe what I saw so I just kept coming back. I didn’t see him as human at first but then I realized he’s one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. If a bit of a bastard.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur grinned proudly at him and John felt tempted to kiss him. Instead, he finally took the merman’s hand in his, entwining their fingers together. The soft membrane between Arthur’s fingers folding to accommodate the hold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m surprised he didn’t eat you.” Lenny said it in a joking manner but Arthur and John still tensed after his comment. “He certainly looks like he could.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tell them or not? John wondered. He looked at the merman, looking for a second opinion, but Arthur shrugged discreetly. John still thought it would be too much to reveal as much to his friends so he didn’t confirm Arthur could indeed eat a human. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Teeth marks on John says so too,” Charles added cheekily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John blushed. He forgot he was without any shirt or bandana, with all the bite marks on display for his friends to see. It was too late to cover now but he still laid his palm over one of the newest one Arthur left on him just before they were interrupted. “Don’t worry, he won’t bite you,” he assured his friends after clearing his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thankfully for him, Sadie changed the subject, even if she was amused by his embarrassment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m surprised you got so close to the water,” she admitted. “Aren’t you helpless in it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are too,” Arthur noticed, looking at Sadie without blinking. “Having the ability to swim doesn’t make you less of a target for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sadie was taken aback by that statement. “Are you threatening me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur grinned, showing off his fangs and Sadie looked really concerned for a second before the merman laughed at her expression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s not threatening you,” John assured her, kicking Arthur’s tail in a warning. The merman curled it around his legs like he liked. “He’s just being a joker.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sadie rolled her eyes. “He’s definitely a human then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur smiled friendly at her, now that they were all more calm, he could finally enjoy meeting other humans for the first time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose we should be all glad you was here when it happened,” Charles said, looking at Arthur. “Otherwise we wouldn’t even know what happened to John. So thank you for saving him, Arthur.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My pleasure,” Arthur replied, looking at John with adoration. “He was stupid enough to get close to the water with big waves while he couldn’t even swim. I had no other choice but to save him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds about right,” Charles chuckled. “John has no self-prevention instinct.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sure, bond over bullying me,” he said, offended, but he still grinned happily at his friends being friendly with Arthur instead of fearing him. “I imagine you have to get back soon?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dutch told me to get back as soon as I find something and report to him,” Charles explained. “I didn’t say when I’ll be back exactly. Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want to stay for dinner?” John offered. “You could get to know Arthur better and he you. He was very excited to meet more humans.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look at you, already a family man, inviting people for dinner with your spouse,” Lenny teased, making John blush. Arthur wasn’t at all bothered by it and relished in John’s embarrassment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do tell, what’s on the menu?” Sadie asked, resting chin on her hand as she joined the teasing. “Let me guess, fish?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, there’s a lot of them in the ocean,” John admitted with a huff at the end. “But we have some beans as well. Those are Arthur’s favorite.” He turned to look under the cliff where some collection of empty cans was laying in the corner. “He can catch us some.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you realize how long it will take?” Arthur asked, narrowing his eyes at him. “That’s ten fishes at least.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You always brag about what a good hunter you are, you have a chance to prove it,” he provoked the merman smugly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur only stopped glaring at him because he turned around. “You’re lucky I like you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad for it every day,” he assured, not even joking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur looked back at him, smiling fondly. “Be back in half an hour.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that, he slid into the water and with one swat of his tail, he swam to the rock belt, climbing it quickly and disappearing on the other side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad we meet him on land, not in the water,” Lenny joked. “He could’ve killed all three of us in less than a minute.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He wouldn’t have killed you at all.” He didn’t mention some other merperson would. “He eats mostly fish.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now everything makes sense,” Charles said, seemingly out of context.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What does?” John asked him, confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You constantly smelling of the ocean,” his friend clarified with a smile. “Sand on your clothes. But I would never imagine it was because of a merman and not some woman living on the beach.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John grinned. “I don’t think anyone would’ve expected that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I honestly sooner expected you to be in love with the sheriff himself than with someone that shouldn’t even exist,” Sadie admitted, amusement in her voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You really think I would fall in love with any member of the law?” he asked, dumbfounded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sadie shrugged. “Why not? Isn’t even half as insane as falling in love with a half human, half fish.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had a point. And John had a feeling that if Arthur was a sheriff of the local town and they had a chance to get to know each other, John would still fall hard for him. There was just something in him that John couldn’t resist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did Arthur say he was going to catch fish in the open ocean in half an hour?” Charles asked, changing the subject.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s really fast in the water,” John explained. “And he’ll probably ask Boadicea for help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sadie raised an eyebrow at him. “Boadicea?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“His pet seal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re a freak, Marston, you know that?” she asked fondly. “In love with someone who shouldn’t even be real, who has a pet seal and could kill you with one bite.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John shrugged. “What can I say? I fell hard.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We noticed.” Charles motioned at his chest again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John cleared his throat. “I’ll put back my shirt,” he said, standing up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No need to hurry,” Sadie said, smiling at how red his cheeks became.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jesus, Sadie, behave, he’s taken,” Lenny laughed, making the woman chuckle as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John ignored their teasing as best as he could. He should’ve predicted it would look like that once they would get comfortable with Arthur being a merman. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go to the fire and wait there,” John suggested. “My shirt is there and we’ll need the campfire anyway."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His friends nodded and followed him under the cliff where Old Boy was resting. He wasn’t bothered by the shot earlier, used to sudden sounds already. John still patted him and fed him some treats while his friends looked around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this all yours?” Sadie asked, pointing at the chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John answered while putting his shirt on. “No, that’s Arthur’s stuff. His journal, book, hat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He has a hat?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I uh… I gave him one,” he explained, looking down at his fingers buttoning the shirt to avoid Sadie’s intense gaze. “He was stealing mine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so sweet, Marston, I almost don’t recognize you,” she laughed and crouched next to the chest, peeking inside. “Why does he need a journal for?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Drawings, he’s great at this. I also taught him to write and read,” he added proudly. “He uses it for practice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How does he even know English?” Charles asked, adding more wood to the fire.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He learned from people on ships.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hoped his friends were naïve enough to believe it like he did. He felt bad lying to them again, especially after how much he told them already, but he really wasn’t in the mood to explain that humans could become merpeople and that’s exactly what happened to Arthur’s grandmother.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He has some talent.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he agreed with Charles to not raise any suspicions and walked to the other man. “He ain’t dumb. Merpeople really are a lot like humans. They have their own language, two actually, they form societies, have their own legends and different colonies have different traditions. What makes them different from us is the fish tail, really. If you met a merperson, it would be like meeting natives of both Americas for the first time. You wouldn’t understand each other but you both would be intelligent enough to try communicate in some other way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And they would probably end like natives,” Charles pointed out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sadly, but John had to agree. “Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe he’s real,” Lenny admitted excitedly. “I only saw mermaids on paintings but Arthur really exists and lives in the water. And now you say there are more of them? They swim where we can’t go, Arthur alone probably saw some amazing things down there. Think he can tell me something about life in the water?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled at the kids enthusiasm. He knew he would be like that. He was always the smartest of the gang, eager to learn new things. And this was really new. “If you ask, sure. Arthur loves talking about the ocean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He just hoped Arthur wouldn’t take Lenny swimming with him. As much as it would make Lenny happy, it was their thing, John and Arthur’s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t want to bother him, so I wanted to ask.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go ahead, he won’t be mad,” he assured. Arthur would be thrilled. John was too, just thinking how happy the merman was going to be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur returned faster than John expected, in half of the time he said he would. He appeared on the rocks suddenly, practically jumping onto it and followed by Boadicea, who dropped her catch into the shallow water, all of the fish dead already. Arthur did the same, but he didn’t have only fish but something that looked like crabs as well. Two fishes he held in his mouth, dropped one and kept the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good girl, Boadicea,” he said to the seal and tossed her a fish. “One more for your effort. See you soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Boadicea jumped back into the water and she was gone in a moment while Arthur slid into the water, picking the fishes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wasn’t joking about the seal,” Lenny mentioned, some surprise still in his eyes after he witnessed a seal with his own eyes. Sadie and Charles wore similar expressions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t carry it all for you!” Arthur shouted at them suddenly. “I need my hands to move, you know!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Coming, sunshine!” John shouted back and looked at his friends. “Carry to help? It’s your dinner too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” Charles agreed right away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I have to,” Lenny joked but stood up nonetheless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You spend too much time with Sean,” Sadie scolded him, following after them to help Arthur with fish. There were exactly ten of them. “Jesus, is it for the whole army?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You throw away most of it,” Arthur explained in a mumble, because he held two crabs by their legs in his mouth. Under one arm, he had two fish as well. “You’re very picky eaters, Sadie. You throw away the head, and intestines, and bones.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want to tell me you eat all of that?” Lenny asked, dropping one fish that turned to be too slick for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And he eats it raw,” John confirmed and smiled at his friend’s disgusted face. He wondered how they would handle Arthur opening human’s chest to get to the organs or breaking the bones to lick out the marrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I once read that Japanese people eat raw fish sometimes but I don’t think they eat it with heads and all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Never ate raw meat but my tribe used to use everything from the hunted animal. Fur, bones, horns, all the meat, used either for themselves or dogs or for the lure to hunt more animals. So I agree with Arthur but I’ll correct him. White people are picky eaters. Especially modern ones.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, my father told me he and other slaves used to eat everything white people were throwing away, even though it was good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jake and I, we used everything too. We had to, winters were rough in Grizzlies. City boys will only eat clean meat, too scared of some dirt and only sold by the butcher. Because they can’t hunt for shit as long as it’s not some big game and even for that they use hunting dogs to tire it first before they can shoot a bear that otherwise would mangle their ass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Amen to that,” John finished, not even going to argue with all that. Rich people really were spoiled brats. That’s why he never felt bad for stealing from them. They got plenty to spare anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They carried all the fish to the fire and laid them on one pail while Arthur kept his crabs to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was a bit sceptic when you told us you’re going to be back in half an hour,” Charles admitted when they all sat down around the campfire, everyone swiftly cleaning their fish and preparing them for cooking. “But I have to say, Arthur, you’re a great hunter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, but I got lucky, really,” the merman replied humbly. “I heard some excited dolphins and found them and half of the ocean feasting on a school of fish. Dolphins did the majority of the job, picking all those fish was easy, it was harder to carry all of them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lenny’s eyes practically glowed after hearing a glimpse about the ocean.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Still, it’s impressive. Without nets, it would take much longer for humans to catch as many fish.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled when Arthur pushed out his chest a little, proud with the praises.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ain’t you eating?” Sadie asked Arthur when she noticed him not doing anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t eat before everyone else. I can wait.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cooking four fish over such a smile fire was a challenge but soon enough they were all eating, with John’s friends being a bit weirded out by Arthur eating everything raw and using his fangs for that but they didn’t complain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe we’re eating a meal with a mythological creature,” Lenny chuckled at some point, half of his fish eaten already, along with a piece of dried bread John fished out from his saddle bags. There was some mold on it too but he cut it off. Dipped in the cooked beans, it wasn't so dry anymore either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Trouble believing he’s real?” John asked, watching with the corner of his eye how Arthur enjoyed his can of beans. One crab pincer was already sucked dry at the beginning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When I look at his human body, no,” Lenny admitted. Arthur stopped eating to look at the kid that moved his eyes to the long tail curled next to the merman. “But the tail… I don’t know, I never saw anything like that before. It moves and it’s strange to watch because I keep thinking how it shouldn’t be there, that there should be legs. It’s so surreal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know what you mean,” Charles admitted too. “It all feels like a dream when you look at the tail.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur huffed, amused, and flicked his tail suddenly just to affect Charles and Lenny more. “Might as well touch if you’re looking at it,” he offered, moving the tail closer to both men. Lenny shifted away from it out of instinct but he quickly got very excited at the prospect of touching the tail that fascinated him so much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” the kid apologized. “It’s hard to avoid. The watching I mean. And I didn’t want to be intruding.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re more shy than John,” Arthur chuckled, sharing a look with him before focusing on Lenny again. “It’s fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lenny reached out a hand but when he was about to touch the tail in its most narrow spot, just above the folded fin, he stopped and looked up at Arthur worried. “Any place I should avoid?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The merman smiled. “John asked the same question.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And for a good reason,” he huffed and then stuffed his mouth full of beans. Even though they became intimate, the embarrassment from all those days ago was still strong when he thought about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur snorted and slapped him on the thigh with his side fin. “You won’t reach my hips from here so it’s fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lenny was still clearly nervous and John couldn’t blame him. But he couldn’t help but watch with amusement as the kid carefully put his palm on the tail, gently wrapping his fingers around it and stroking it like that. The rest of them watched his reaction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh,” he breathed out after a few seconds. “I don’t know what I expected but it feels like a regular fish.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Sadie asked and snickered. “That’s disappointing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m part fish,” Arthur reminded her, keeping his tail still for Lenny to continue exploring. He spread his fin wide for the kid to feel it too by following the thin bones with his finger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lemme see.” Charles looked at Arthur for permission before touching the tail as well, his fingers sliding over the slick scales. John shifted uncomfortably. It was a completely innocent touch but it started to make him uncomfortable. “Sadie’s right, it is disappointing in a way.” Arthur glared at him, making Charles chuckle. “Sorry. Just expected more from someone from legends.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I expected more of a snake,” Lenny added, still touching the tail as if petting a cat. John wondered if Arthur was affected by it but it only made his stomach clench uncomfortably.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do I look like a snake to you, boy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lenny looked at him sheepish. “Well, kinda.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sadie?” Charles asked, referring to her not touching the tail yet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m good. Don’t feel the need to touch someone else’s body to know it exists,” she refused, popping a piece of fish into her mouth and smirking at John. He could already feel his cheeks burning. “And I'm already touching a fish.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At least someone understood how uncomfortable it made John. Even if Sadie was saying it in a teasing way. “Alright, you’re going to get his tail bare of scales,” John warned them, having enough of the touching. Sadie smirked again and Lenny and Charles took back their hands, seemingly oblivious to the real reason John had in stopping them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur wasn’t. Taking back his tail, he smiled at John who blushed heavily under the merman’s knowing gaze. He dropped his head so Charles and Lenny couldn’t witness how silly he was behaving. Acting jealous over a tail. How dumb.    </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beautiful tail, if I can say so. Especially when the light hit it right,” Charles admitted, getting back to his food. “I can imagine people hunting you nearly to extinction just for it. They almost killed buffalos and those ain’t even half as pretty.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s why I stay away from humans, John being the only exception over many years.” John was forced to stop hiding when Arthur unexpectedly grabbed his hand with his. They smiled sweetly at each other, not caring about the audience. “I know they would only hurt me,” Arthur continued. John stroked the top of his hand with his thumb while the merman faced his friends again. “So sorry for screeching at you but had to protect myself and my mate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We understand,” Charles assured with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, Arthur,” Lenny chimed in. “Must be fun living in the water.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur shrugged. “I suppose. I mean, I like it but I got used to it at this point.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, of course.” Lenny cleared his throat awkwardly while looking for the right words. John and the rest, including Arthur, watched him fondly. “But… What's it like? Are there a lot of treasures?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, there are some,” the merman confirmed. Lenny’s eyes glistened. “But mostly it’s just filled with fish and other sea creatures.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t lower the kid’s excitement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ever seen a shark?” he kept asking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur snorted and Lenny didn’t exactly understand why, staring confused at him. “I would have to live hidden in the sand to never see one,” the merman explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Lenny let out only, embarrassed.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seen plenty of sharks,” Arthur added, his lips curling into a smug smirk. “One even bit me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That interested even Charles and Sadie. They listened but weren’t as captivated by it as Lenny, who even abandoned eating for this conversation. Unlike the other two but they stopped as well when Arthur mentioned a shark’s attack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lenny’s eyes grew wide. “Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you can even see scars.” Arthur shifted and while the scars were faint, John’s friends still noticed them on Arthur's tanned skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Must’ve been a hell of a shark,” Sadie noticed, sitting straighter after leaning forward to see the scars better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fourteen feet I reckon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He said it so calmly, like it wasn’t a big deal. For John it wasn’t anymore. He saw a whale with his own eyes, a fourteen feet shark wasn't impressive anymore. Nothing really was. He wouldn’t find a bigger animal on land.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fourteen feet!” Lenny repeated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t even seen a bear this big.” Charles said it more calmly but he was no less amazed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I read they can be big but surely not this big.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just ask John. “ Arthur nodded at him. “He’d seen one, not as long but still big.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How the hell did you see a shark?” Sadie asked, shocked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We swim together,” Arthur answered her before John could even open his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John can’t swim,” Sadie reminded him. “You saw it yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I can.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He carries me on his back,” John explained. “We even dive. Saw a shark, about the same length as Arthur so over seven feet. Touched it even.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was so good to finally brag about it and see the disbelief in his friends eye instead of keeping everything for himself. He wouldn’t believe himself either if he was in their place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No way!” Lenny exclaimed. Charles grinned, amazed by John’s experience. John couldn’t contain his pride over it. He couldn’t wait to tell them about the whale and how amazing that was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sadie shook her head at him. “I knew you was insane, you’re in a relationship with a merman, but touching a shark?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She wasn’t hungry,” he said innocently. “Arthur has her drawing somewhere.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In my journal,” the merman offered, smiling at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll go get it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John patted Arthur’s tail and stood up, hearing Lenny asking another question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What else is down there? Is there Atlantis?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A what?” Arthur’s response was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John grinned happily. His friend’s unexpected visit couldn’t have ended better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The dinner continued, joined by some whisky Sadie had on her horse and which she fetched at one point. Lenny kept asking about the ocean and merpeople’s culture. Charles and Sadie asked their own questions as well but Arthur was the most lively member of this conversation, excited to share his life with someone else than John.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seeing him this happy was amazing, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the merman this whole time, captivated by his enthusiasm and how joyful he was getting with each minute. Eventually, he started asking his own questions as well, getting a new perspective on humans than the ones he knew so far.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was easy to notice how John's friends slowly started seeing Arthur the way John was seeing. As another human being that wasn't so much different from them. They even stopped paying attention to the tail, even when the merman curled it in John’s lap, wrapping it around his waist. Earlier it would’ve probably caught their attention but at this point, it became a natural part of Arthur, as natural as his hair and its movement was dismissed quickly just like an unexpected move of a hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur had a way of charming people, not only John.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All of them enjoyed their talk till the early evening. John barely spoke a thing this whole time, mostly just listening to Arthur, captivated and only occasionally confirming something the merman was saying about their dives or relationship. This was enough for John. Seeing Arthur happy was never boring.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he was so happy John almost didn’t want this day to end. But it wouldn’t be wise to keep Charles and the others from the camp for so long. They already stayed too long, Dutch was probably losing his mind or adding another people to the list of traitors. No need to give him more reason to do so by keeping his spies overnight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John didn’t even want that. After a few hours spent with his friends, he wanted to be with Arthur alone for a while. Tomorrow, after all, he was going to introduce the merman to Hosea. It would be another hard day but hopefully it would end as good as this one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you going to tell Dutch?” John asked Charles while, along with Arthur, walking his friends to the path to the top of the cliff.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Obviously I can’t tell the truth,” Charles answered, stopping right next to the path with Sadie and Lenny. “We’ll tell whatever you want us to tell.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There is nothing to tell. I told you, Dutch won’t believe anything I say, he’ll only want proof.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have to say something,” Sadie noticed, leaning against the rock wall behind her. “We was gone for too long, Dutch won’t be satisfied if we tell him we couldn’t find you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if we say we saw your woman?” Lenny suggested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John shook his head. “It won’t be good enough. He’ll either think you’re helping me and are betraying him as well, or still demand to see my mistress himself. Which he can’t do. I know it’s strange coming from me but I don’t trust Dutch enough to not hurt Arthur.” He had no idea from where that fear was coming from exactly. Up till now Dutch never gave him a reason to not trust him. John sighed. His last hope to convince Dutch he wasn’t a traitor was telling Hosea everything. “Tell him you saw her. And that I asked you to not say a thing. He can’t force you to break a promise. I’ll speak to Hosea tomorrow, bring him here and explain everything. If anyone can convince Dutch to trust me without proof, he’s the one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think it will help you at all,” Sadie said, concerned. “You heard Dutch, he has no doubt you have someone. He’s concerned about what you’re doing beside being with your woman, if you ain’t selling us to the law to impress her or something like that. Whatever we or Hosea tell him, he’ll just think you tricked us to help you. He’s too paranoid, he won’t stop trying to sniff out a rat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. But at least you know I'm not one.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His friends shared a guilty look. “We admit we had our doubts,” Charles explained their behavior from the morning. “While we absolutely believed you was in love, we couldn’t really be sure you weren’t doing something to keep your lover safe or to make sure you wouldn’t be arrested with the rest of the gang.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand,” John assured his friend. He was hurt, but he understood nonetheless. “I was too secretive anyway. I can’t blame anyone getting suspicious.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, we shouldn’t have thought so,” Charles told him sternly. “Strange behavior or not, we know you. Dutch knows you. We should know better than believe some stupid rumors.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled at his friends, grateful. It really felt great to hear something like that from Charles and see the other two nodding in agreement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, now you believe in it but when I told you it’s not your fault, you ignored it and continued to mope,” Arthur complained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t mope!” he protested, looking down at the merman. “And I appreciated your comfort!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You had a funny way of appreciating it by moping.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t mope!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup, definitely a married couple,” Sadie mocked again, pushing herself away from the wall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We usually aren’t like this,” John assured, trying to save him honor. Arthur snorted. “Shut up,” he hissed, getting eyes rolled at him in response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was nice to meet you all,” Arthur said, ignoring John glaring at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Likewise,” Sadie responded and looked at John. “We’ll try to convince Dutch that everything is dandy but we can’t promise anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s still better than nothing,” he noticed with a weak smile. “Thank you for accepting this. Us.” He motioned between himself and Arthur. “It means a lot to have someone knowing and understanding this. I thought I was going to get through this alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We got your back, John,” Lenny promised and walked up to him, hugging him unexpectedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John swallowed thickly. When he looked over Lenny’s shoulder at Charles and Sadie, their expressions were speaking the same as what the kid just said. “Thanks,” he said and released himself from Lenny’s embrace. “You better get going or Dutch will send another party to look for you this time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you really concerned or just want to be alone with your man?” Sadie said teasingly and winked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John snorted. “Get out of here,” he hurried them. He watched them leaving until he and Arthur really were left alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You really are going to bring Hosea here?” the merman asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Told you I would.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but now that Lenny, Sadie and Charles know, I thought you changed your mind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dutch sooner believe Hosea than them, so he needs to know.” John turned towards the fire and started walking towards it, Arthur following. “Let’s just do this in a less horrifying way,” John suggested, sitting down. “I don’t want to get shot again while protecting your ass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur grinned at him. “Deal,” he said and pushed John to lay flat on the ground, then crawled up his body and curled around him, his tail wrapping around John's legs. John smiled and turned in the merman’s arms, settling comfortably against his body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Someone is clingy,” he whispered into Arthur’s lips before kissing them long and sweet. With his friends with them they couldn’t really do so and now they were hungry for each other. It didn’t help that if the others didn’t interrupt them, maybe they would’ve got back to what they were doing before Arthur decided to play.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wanted to do this for a while now,” Arthur admitted in the short break between the kisses before pressing their lips back together. John purred, wrapping his arms tightly against the merman.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too,” he breathed out, nuzzling Arthur’s cheek. “How do you like my friends?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sadie is… impulsive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John grinned against the soft beard. “That’s one way to put it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I like them all,” Arthur admitted. “They’re nice. Especially Charles, he was the most calm, even when he was distressed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s Charles for you, alright,” John confirmed, amused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And Lenny seems like a good kid. He reminds me of me when I was asking my grandmother about humans.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John moved away and smiled fondly at the merman.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They like you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur sounded eager and hopeful like a little kid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I saw it,” he assured, bringing their lips together again. “They were scared at first but they couldn’t escape your charm in the end.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur huffed out a laugh. “Let’s hope Hosea won’t shoot at me too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll take his gun beforehand,” John promised when he felt Arthur tensing a bit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you try to make a less scary first impression,” John teased the merman, wanting him to relax again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur narrowed his eyes at him. “You went stiff under me and I saw three strange people with guns that I had no idea were your friends. I’m sorry I didn’t immediately invite them for dinner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John laughed, placing a kiss on grumpy Arthur’s cheek. “Fair enough,” he sighed and yawned. This was a tiring day. “You up for some sleep?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me get into the water first. It’s been a while, don’t want to risk it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John hummed when Arthur untangled himself from him. “Okay,” he agreed and yawned again, his eyes already dropping. “Don’t take long,” he added with a loopy smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur smiled back and leaned down for one more kiss. “Few minutes,” he promised and crawled away towards the water. “Don’t go anywhere.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wouldn’t dream of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur wasn’t gone for long but John was too tired to wait. He only woke up for a few seconds when the merman laid back down next to him, hugging him from behind. John relaxed in his arms and fell back asleep, dreaming of the end of his problems.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hosea was the only hope now. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Stars In Their Eyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The new chapter is here! Sorry for having you waiting but my work is a bitch and I worked on a new story in the meantime as well. If this chapter wasn't so long, maybe I would’ve finished it quicker but as always, I can't write short. Enjoy this wall of text!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>John stormed into the camp the next day only with on intend on his mind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dutch!” he shouted, heads of his friends turning towards him, including Sadie, Charles and Lenny’s. John ignored everyone once he spotted Dutch eating breakfast with Hosea by one of the tables. “Dutch!” he yelled again because the leader wasn’t looking at him, only Hosea turned, worried.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, John?” Dutch asked, finally facing John and giving him an uninterested look.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The anger John was feeling only increased and he clenched his hands into fist. He didn’t even feel the pain when nails dug into the thin skin. “What the hell was that?” he panted angrily.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whatever do you mean?” the older man asked and lifted a cup of coffee to his lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John never felt such a need to punch Dutch like right now. Being treated like a rat was one thing, but this casual way Dutch was acting was getting on John’s nerves even more. “You ordered Charles to tail me!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dutch didn’t even blink, didn’t look guilty. He looked completely indifferent. Unlike Hosea, who gave his old friend a scolding look.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Told you he wouldn’t like that, Dutch.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t care if he likes it or not, it was necessary,” Dutch justified himself. “I needed to be sure.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure of what?!” John shouted. He couldn’t stop himself, he was too furious he was treated like some new gang member instead of longtime member, Dutch’s golden boy. “Sure of what you already know?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was hoping Charles wouldn’t be so loyal to you,” Dutch admitted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Charles is a good friend, unlike you right now!” John accused the other man.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m your leader first and foremost,” Dutch reminded him. “If I suspect one of my men of being untrustworthy, I need to make some tough choices, even if it pains me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, you look very hurt right now,” John mocked. At least it got some reaction from Dutch, even if it was only anger.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The older man stood up from his chair and stepped closer to John. “Don’t think it isn’t paining me to see you drift away.” If it was, he was showing it poorly. “You think it’s funny to me? That sending Charles after you was easy? But I can’t risk the whole gang for just one man, even if it’s the one so dear to my heart as you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You have a funny way of showing how much you care,” John said bitterly. “I hope getting confirmation of what you already know was worth pissing me of.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, you’re so scary,” Micah mocked, coming out of nowhere. John glared at him. “Oh, I like that look, I'm practically shaking because of big, scary Johnny Marston.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you send someone after him too?” John asked, addressing Dutch again. “Or anyone else from the gang or am I that special?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dutch didn’t answer, he didn’t look away in shame either, but his eyes were enough of an answer to John who snorted. “Yeah, I thought so,” he said through gritted teeth and turned to the second leader. “Hosea, a word?” Without asking, Hosea followed him to the horses, where there was no one to listen to them. Not that John was planning on saying something important. Not right now at least. “Can we talk in private?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure. Would you like to talk in your tent?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Actually, I want you to ride with me,” he suggested nervously. “Unless you have something to do later.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not at all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John hoped a bit that Hosea would say ‘no’, even if there was no use in delaying inevitably. Arthur would be disappointed if John was to return to him alone today. “Great. I need to pick up a few things and Old Boy needs to eat so meet me by the horses again in a half an hour?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosea nodded. “Half an hour it is,” he agreed and walked away to get ready himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John rubbed his palms together and released a shaky breath before following. He needed to change. And get more canned beans for Arthur. Pearson gave him a stinky eye when he took dozens of cans from the wagon but otherwise didn’t react at all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Half an hour later, when everything was ready, John left his tent dressed in clean clothes. “Good luck,” Charles sitting nearby told him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks,” John replied and joined Hosea who waited next to Silver Dollar and Old Boy. “Ready?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Where are we going?” the older man asked while mounting.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not far,” John answered vaguely. Hosea only hummed in response, no doubt already aware where they could go.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They trotted out of the camp and onto the main road, riding in silence for a first few minutes, with John looking back every now and then to check if they were being followed. He doubted Charles would agree to this again but who said someone else wouldn’t? The good thing was if he sensed Charles tailing him, sensing someone else would be even easier so he felt rather safe. Especially with Hosea who was good with those sorts of things as well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please tell me he believed Charles that I ain’t hiding anything from him,” John begged when they left the camp far behind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosea shook his head. “I’m afraid not, son. Charles' information was very vague. If anything, it only piqued Dutch’s interest. We’re at the point when he’ll only believe you if you prove to him you’re still loyal to him. He doesn’t care about your woman much after all, just what you’re potentially doing to be with her. It does pain him to think you’ll leave him for her though.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John huffed. “Yeah, right, he’s suffering, alright. Pure agony. I'm sure he’s bawling his eyes out at night.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosea smiled sadly at him. “I know he doesn’t look like it but it isn’t easy for him,” he assured, but it didn’t make John believe it. He saw Dutch, he looked completely numb. There was no pain in his eyes or expression. “He’s in a bad place right now. Those rumors messed with him and now he fears that even if you’re telling the truth, he’ll lose you anyway… But losing you to the law would be worse than losing you to a woman. That’s why he needs to know you aren’t a rat. I think sending Charles after you was an act of desperation. He hoped for some proof, either proving you’re guilty or not, just something. But since you’re not meeting with the law and Charles could only confirm what Dutch already knows, that old mule is still in the same place he was.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why can’t he just trust me like before?” John asked with a sigh. “What the hell happened? He was never like that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He was always a bit paranoid. You started to disappear for the whole days out of nowhere, not long after the law set up an ambush on our boys… All of this with his paranoia is a dangerous combination. But I think what Charles told us yesterday calmed him down a bit.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What did Charles say exactly?” He was curious, he only told Charles what to say, not with what words.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That he and the other two saw your woman, that she’s very nice, if a bit strange.” John laughed a little hysterically. Hosea was just about to find out how strange John’s woman was. “And that you’re stupidly in love. Sadie added that blindly even, whatever that means.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John blushed at that. He should’ve expected his friends would mock him for falling in love in a half fish, half man, even if they accepted that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ll find out soon,” he mentioned nervously. Hosea didn’t look even slightly surprised. “I want to introduce you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m honored,” the older man admitted. “But shouldn’t you have invited Dutch as well?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I'm not sure how he’ll react. It’s… It’s complicated.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosea didn’t comment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Soon enough, they entered the forest instead of taking a turn on the road. Because trees were growing pretty dense, they had to ride one after another, with John on the lead. That meant he had to feel Hosea’s eyes on himself and he had a feeling the other man’s gaze wasn’t neutral.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“John, is your woman a man?” he asked suddenly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John stopped Old Boy abruptly, the gelding whining in protest. Shocked, he turned to Hosea who watched him calmly and what was the most important, without judging or disgust.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ho-how do you know?” he stuttered while turning around. If they weren't on their way to meet Arthur right now, John would’ve lied, too embarrassed for the conversation about who he loved. It’s not that he was scared of Hosea’s reaction, he was just never ready to share this about himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know you, John,” Hosea explained simply. “I’ve known you for years, I saw your gaze lingering on other men longer than it was necessary. Not to mention every time you talk about your lover, you seem to hesitate every time you mention it’s a woman. Like you need to think about saying that, it doesn’t come naturally. Most people wouldn’t notice but you’re talking with a professional fraud, boy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John laughed nervously. Hiding a secret from Hosea was never easy. That’s why John would mostly confide in him instead of Dutch. It was easier to tell the truth than hide. That’s probably why they were always closer as well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I understand why you kept it a secret,” Hosea continued. “And I can’t speak for the whole gang, but I want you to know you have nothing to fear, not only from me but from Dutch as well. It would be really hypocritical of him to hate you for something like that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John’s jaw dropped an inch or two when he heard that. “You mean Dutch is…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He likes both.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John honestly wasn't expecting that. He only ever saw Dutch with women, first with Annabel, caught him and Grimshaw once too and now he was with Molly. He never watched men with interest like John and what apparently was so obvious Hosea picked on it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How long did you know?” Now he was curious. “It must’ve been before you picked me up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Week or two after we met.” Hosea rubbed at his chin, thinking. “It was hard to miss when he came onto me drunk one night.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John feared his eyes were going to pop out at any moment. He blinked a couple of times, his mouth opening even more this time. And he thought he was the only one with big news. His were still bigger but this wasn't how he imagined this day to go.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You mean you and Dutch…” He didn’t even want to finish it. Or imagined it, which wasn’t easy when he already had that image in his head. He shuddered with repulsion. That was too strange, both men were practically fathers to him, he didn’t want to think of them that way!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosea only shrugged. “Happened a couple of times at the beginning,” he said. There was some fondness in his voice but he didn’t sound like he was missing something. “But we knew we wouldn’t work out as a couple so we stopped. I met Bessie not long after and me and Dutch just stayed friends and partners in crime.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No wonder I never knew,” he murmured under his breath. Or why Dutch sometimes had this soft look in his eyes. Maybe for him it was really something and he never stopped loving Hosea this way. That would explain why John never saw him being interested in men.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s why you have nothing to fear regarding the safety of your man.” God, it was so good to hear people calling Arthur properly. “Dutch won’t kill him.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not the only thing that worries me about Dutch knowing.” Hosea looked at him curiously. “You’ll see, let’s go. It’s close already.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John followed the road he knew by heart now till they reached the cliff. Hosea looked around, watching the missing grass that slowly was starting to regrow. Good, both horses would have something to munch on while he and Hosea would be down with Arthur.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Had to say, it’s an unusual place for meeting someone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not the place.” John walked to the path and revealed it. Hosea walked closer to it but before he could put a foot there, John covered the entrance again and looked seriously at the other man. “Give me your gun.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosea blinked surprised at him. “Are you afraid I'm going to shoot him?” he asked, hurt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John hated that he nodded but yes, he was afraid of that. “Sadie almost did,” he explained and lifted the sleeve of his shirt, revealing the bandaged wound. “In fact, she almost killed me accidently when I pushed Arthur away.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosea didn’t comment on the name. “I won’t shoot him,” he swore and John believed and trusted him. He just didn’t trust his most primal instincts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I almost shot him too when I first met him,” John explained, extending his hand for Hosea’s gun. “You don’t know how you’ll react, I don’t want you to have the gun on you when you see him and fear will cloud your mind.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fear,” Hosea repeated and narrowed his eyes but to John's relief, he unbuckled his gun belt and gave it to John.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’ll make sense later. Just please, Hosea, when you see him, promise you’ll listen before deciding what you’ll do next.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I promise, John,” Hosea said without hesitation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John smiled at him gratefully. “It’s nothing bad just… shocking,” he explained and uncovered the path again. “He’s waiting for us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosea gave him one last look before walking down, John following closely, palms sweating and heart palpitating in his chest. As important as Charles and the others’ opinion was to him, Hosea’s was even more important. If his own father would hate or fear Arthur and wouldn’t accept them, John’s heart would simply break. He was already losing Dutch, he didn’t want to lose Hosea too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before John left to get back to the camp, he asked Arthur to be in the water, specifically near the rock belt so his tail would be impossible to spot, only the top of his body, just like when they first met. He hoped that seeing Arthur as a human at first would help to soften Hosea’s shock that would no doubt follow after.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And just like they planned, Arthur was in the spot they chose, watching them walk down slowly. John couldn’t see it just like Hosea but he was sure Arthur’s tail was swaying nervously under the surface, even if the merman’s face was seemingly calm and collected.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He and Hosea both watched each other, the older man most likely even more confused than he already was. John wished that Arthur being a man was the hardest part to explain because he was feeling like he was going to pass out any second now. Yesterday the pain and being worried for Arthur’s life was stopping him from panicking but today he had nothing to anchor him down. He didn’t collapse and tumbled down taking Hosea with him only because Arthur couldn’t resist not looking at him and smiled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That one smile was enough to send John’s heart into another frenzy, only because of the different reason. And while losing Hosea was still scaring him, at least he had Arthur to comfort him after. He would be okay eventually, even if in a lot of pain for a while.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once Hosea put his foot on the bottom of the cliff, John started being scared again. His heart was almost up to his throat at this point and he was afraid to even speak. But he had to, because Hosea wasn’t moving further, instead he looked at John questioningly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He won’t join us here yet.” Hosea nodded and followed John into the water. Now that they walked side by side, John observed the other man’s reactions but Hosea had his poker face on, simply looking at Arthur and trying to solve the mystery that was the merman staring right back at him. Has Hosea noticed the claws yet? Or the blink of the black eyelids?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur made the first move. “Hello,” he said friendly but nervously once there was only a few feet between him and Hosea.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello,” Hosea said back and smiled at the merman politely. “Arthur, I presume.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The merman nodded and smiled back a bit tightly. “It’s nice to meet you, Hosea. John spoke a lot about you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“All good I hope.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was such a painfully polite chat it made John grimace.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Arthur really wanted to meet you,” John explained, standing between two most important people in his life. “I was scared to do that but maybe if you know the whole truth, you can convince Dutch to believe me when I say I’m not a rat.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And the truth is?” he asked, raising his eyebrow at both of them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Here it was, the moment of truth. John took a deep breath and looked at his lover. “Arthur?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Here we go,” the merman murmured and swiftly lifted himself on the rocks as John stepped to the side to allow Hosea the whole look.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The older man didn’t take a step back in fear or blindly reached for his gun out of instinct. He only gasped quietly and simply stared with partially parted lips as Arthur lifted the rest of the tail and laid it in all its glory and length on the rock. Like always, John’s breath got stuck in his throat at the beauty but he was quickly distracted from it by Hosea or rather by the lack of reaction from him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur was confused by it as well and nudged John with the tip of his tail. “You’re not surprised,” John said, feeling his legs giving up under him again. He grabbed the rock for support.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not really,” Hosea admitted, his initial shock already gone. If John could even call it that. It looked more like Hosea was more captivated by the beauty of Arthur's tail just like John than shocked by the merman’s existence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Have you told him?” Arthur asked, looking between Hosea and John.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John shook his head, his breathing increasing. “No,” he answered, looking at Hosea with more shock on his face than the older man showed upon seeing Arthur. “Hosea, what…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I suspected you were seeing a mermaid,” Hosea interrupted him. “The signs were there from the day one, I only had no idea it wasn’t actually a mermaid but a merman. Only when you told me today.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You… You knew all along?” John was hearing the ocean in his ears. Only he knew it was really his blood rushing to his brain, trying to help him understand the situation. He took a look at Arthur briefly, the merman frozen in place, his eyes focused on Hosea.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosea nodded. “Like I said, I suspected it,” he repeated. “You had a drawing of him so early and yes, it was a man but I thought it was just you drawing bad.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John couldn’t find it in himself to chuckle like Hosea did. He just kept staring.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Everything else added up too. The sand on your clothes, treasure you had no right to get unless someone was diving for it and no human would be able to do that. It was rather easy to find out when you knew what to look for.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I'm not the first merperson you are seeing,” Arthur realized in amazement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John looked at the merman again and nodded, agreeing with the suspicion. Nobody would’ve picked up those signs otherwise, simply because normal people wouldn’t assume the existence of a mythological creature. A normal person would simply assume he was spending time on the beach.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Hosea confirmed it with another nod. “No,” he said with a sad look on his face. John knew that expression very well. “Bessie was first.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bessie,” John repeated in a whisper. A mystery woman of Hosea who didn’t have a single picture of her, only drawings he kept to himself and never showed anyone. The woman that died before John was even picked up by Dutch. A woman that Hosea spoke so fondly of every time he was mentioning her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who’s Bessie?” Arthur asked. John forgot he was still there, which wasn’t easy to do.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My wife,” Hosea answered. “Though she and I never really married. I doubt anyone would marry a human and a mermaid but it didn’t stop us from being in love.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You were in relationship with a mermaid?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosea smiled softly at Arthur's eager question. “I was, for three happy years.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John could see curiosity on Arthur’s face, the merman wanted to know more and John too but he needed to sit first because the news crashed onto him like a pile of bricks. He wasn’t wrong thinking the news about Dutch and Hosea having a sexual relationship one wasn’t the biggest news of the day. Only he didn’t expect to find out THAT later on!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Care to tell us more about this?” he asked his father and Hosea nodded eagerly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know I’m always happy to talk about Bessie. It will be nice to share more for the first time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>First time. So Dutch didn’t know about her true nature. It was disappointing, even if just now he realized that could’ve meant Dutch accepting Arthur.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s go to the beach,” John suggested, looking back at Arthur. “This isn’t how I imagined this day to go,” he confessed with a nervous chuckle. Arthur smiled at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosea laughed as well. “I’m sure you didn’t,” he believed and nodded towards the beach. “Come on, boys. I’ll explain everything so don’t be afraid to ask.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As if John needed encouraging. And judging by the big splash that Arthur made practically jumping from the rocks, he didn’t either.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John felt like his friends yesterday – confused and desperate for answers. Arthur sat next to him in the same state, they both looked at Hosea who took a seat on the other side of the burned out fire. It was strange. They were supposed to be the ones providing answers and helping with the confusion, not the other way around. Hosea was supposed to look at them, especially at Arthur, like it wasn’t real, not them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yet here they were, role completely reversed from what John expected. And all because of the woman that wasn’t alive for a couple of years now. He wanted to know everything, how Hosea met Bessie, what kind of mermaid she was, born? Turned? How did she really die? Hosea always told them she had tuberculosis but surely merpeople were immune to human sickness, right?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have so many questions,” he said, staring at Hosea like all those years ago when the man started to teach him how to read – bewildered and amazed at the same time. Someone was like him. He wasn’t strange, falling in love with a merperson wasn’t only him being foolish. The smartest man he knew fell in love with one too and it was such a relief to John, to have someone who was going to understand, to whom he didn’t have to explain how it was possible he and Arthur were in love. Hosea knew better than anyone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosea chuckled. “Me too, surprisingly.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just…” Hosea smiled at John, amused by his lack of words. “I was so scared to tell anyone about Arthur,” he settled for eventually. “While I had someone like me right under my nose.” John let out a huff of laughter and shook his head. “And for years too! You talked about Bessie so many times. I never saw her but I imagined her so often I had an image of her in my head. All because of your descriptions and they weren't even real!” He wasn't angry, he was amazed Hosea kept that a secret for so many years. “You lied to me and Dutch and others for years.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, John, but you see yourself it was necessary.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John shook his head at his father’s justification. “I don’t blame you, you just never slipped up. I’m sure some of the stories of her you told were real, just adjusted to fit a human but still, all these years you didn’t say anything, even drunk.” John couldn’t be sure if he would be silent then as well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“To be fair, I'm a really good liar,” Hosea reminded him smugly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John chuckled and shook his head again, this time in disbelief. “The woman I imagined was really a mermaid.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And she was the most beautiful mermaid too, even though I never saw any other,” Hosea confessed and his eyes slid to Arthur. “Until now of course. And I had to say I was in a shock for a moment when I saw your tail. It looks exactly like Bessie’s, it even has the same color but otherwise you’re very different from her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I’m a male,” Arthur pointed out jokingly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosea smiled but shook his head. “Nah, it’s something else,” he decided. “You could recognize a human in her but she had much more scales.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John and Arthur shared a look.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She was a born mermaid,” John explained. “Arthur comes from a family where his grandmother was turned from a human. That’s why he looks different.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Unlike yesterday, John was certain he could share those information today knowing it wouldn’t be too much.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Turned?” Hosea repeated, surprised, looking between both of them. “Is it possible?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m a living proof.” Arthur pointed at his human body. “Apart from my mother and grandmother, every merperson I know has more scales. Because there was never a human among them. The process is risky, a human needs to be drowning but it’s possible.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosea closed his eyes for a moment, looking ready to cry. When he breathed out, it was in a shaky way. “If I only knew then,” he mustered, more to himself than to them. He looked at the ocean to his left, blinking a couple of times to chase away the tears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, Hosea.” John felt the need to console his father, even if he didn’t exactly know how. He never was in his shoes, he didn’t know how it feels to lose a lover. Dutch would be better at this but he wasn’t there. John was and he could at least show compassion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No need to.” Hosea closed his eyes again and took a deep breath before facing them again, almost no trace of the previous sadness left on his face. “I don’t think it would’ve changed anything. She would’ve still died, maybe I with her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John decided not to ask about Bessie’s death right now. He didn’t want to reopen old wounds. “You really would’ve turned for her?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course.” There was no hesitation in his answer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What about Dutch?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dutch was a dear friend of mine even then but still just a friend,” Hosea explained. “Bessie was not only that but also the love of my life. I would’ve told Dutch before that, make him meet Bessie so he could visit us on the coast if he would accept us. But leaving the land to spend the rest of my life with Bessie would’ve been an easy choice.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John couldn’t say it would be the same for him. Hosea had only Dutch back then, John had so much more. He loved Arthur a lot but to actually leave land for him? He wouldn’t be able to make a decision now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur was staring at John when he looked up from his lap.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The differences were that big?” He needed to know if he and Arthur had a chance being together like this or if at some point John would have to sacrifice everything to be with the merman.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A bit.” John felt his heart stopping for a moment and Arthur got scared by that answer too, his tail tensing and curling a little tightly around John. “Bessie had to return to water all the time and we couldn’t sleep together. And many more. That didn’t make me leave her, sometimes it was very hard but I didn’t regret being with her. But if I could be like her or she like me, it would’ve been easier.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We don’t have such problems,” Arthur said with relief. “I can be on land for a while, we slept together already.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” John confirmed, blushing because of Hosea’s teasing smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Even if you had the same problem as we did, there is no saying it wouldn’t have worked between you two,” he noticed. “We and Bessie made it alright I think and we had a language barrier to cross before that. It was death that separated us, not differences between our species. I’m just saying it would’ve been easier if she turned me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re alright now,” John stated and took Arthur's hand in his, squeezing it gently. Arthur smiled at him and nodded in agreement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I'm glad to hear it.” Hosea watched them fondly. “I have to say, I'm surprised I didn’t know about humans being able to turn into merpeople. Bessie never kept anything from me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She probably didn’t know,” Arthur replied, playing with John’s fingers in his grip. “Even among us it’s a legend.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Or maybe she was just scared I would ask her to do that.” Hosea sighed sadly but his eyes were full of love for his last lover. “She was always too caring.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Arthur too,” John pointed out proudly. “He put himself between me and Sadie yesterday even though he could’ve died.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, yes, I heard about your encounter with Mrs. Adler yesterday,” Hosea addressed Arthur. “First encounters with merpeople can be scary. Especially if they forget to hide the most scary part.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur grinned, showing his deadly set of teeth. Hosea didn’t even blink.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I told you, I almost shot him,” John reminded the other man with a nervous chuckle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How did you meet Bessie?” the merman asked. “We usually stay away from humans. Unless we want to hunt them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Funnily enough, she wanted to do just that.” Hosea smiled fondly at the memory. “Dutch and I, we were in Louisiana, we had a huge argument about some scam we were going to pull off in the local town. I was so angry with Dutch’s stupid plan I left for a day, went to the shore to fish and calm myself. I was there for a few hours when Bessie showed up. Grabbed the fish right of my hook and tossed it at my feet. I thought I was going crazy and then she revealed herself.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John laughed, it already sounded like a funny story. “She grabbed a fish from your fishing rod?” he asked with a wide grin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosea nodded, sporting a similar smile. “I stared at her for a while dumbly, she spoke to me something, I didn’t know what then but I couldn’t even answer I was just speechless.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“John almost shit his pants,” Arthur added in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Later, John was going to be embarrassed about the whining sound he made in the back of his throat. But he had other things to be embarrassed about right now. Arthur smiled innocently when John scowled at him, offended.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosea laughed. “I can’t blame him, even if you look more human than Bessie.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your fangs are scary,” John reminded the merman.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t hear you complain yesterday.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur winked at him and John blushed, feeling the heat spread even further when Hosea laughed again. “Don’t be shy, John,” the older man tried to cheer him up. “When you love a merperson, you’re bound to like strange things.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John forced a smile onto his still red face. “Thanks, Hosea,” he said dryly and cleared his throat. ”You said Bessie was trying to eat you but tossing a fish at you ain’t particularly frightening. I'm sure Arthur acted more intimidating.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She changed her mind,” Hosea explained. “For that moment at least. She later told me that what she said to me first was that I was too pretty to eat.” John and Arthur laughed. “She knew I wouldn’t understand her so she said it without shame. But that didn’t stop her from contemplating that plan for the rest of the day if she should follow with her original but every time she looked at my face she just couldn’t follow with her plan. She said I annoyed her with my face and insanely blue eyes.” Hosea shook his head in amusement. “Oh, I miss her so much. She had such a funny sense of humor. She was a bit awkward and quirky but that only made me love her even more.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So you didn’t run for your life like John here?” Arthur pointed at John with his head. “Or point your gun at her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I stayed and I definitely didn’t point a gun at her.” John blushed under Hosea’s disapproving look. “How did you two met, exactly?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“John was being an idiot.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John would’ve scoffed harder at Arthur for that but he couldn’t when Hosea laughed so cheerfully, like John hadn’t heard him laugh in a long while now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“John has moments when he looks like a genius and then like there is no brain in his head at all,” the older man joked and looked at John. “What did you do, son?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fell into the water,” he answered embarrassingly. Hosea laughed again and Arthur with him. “A wave hit me!” he justified himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It wasn’t even that big,” Arthur noticed, watching him fondly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It knocked me off my feet.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It barely stumbled you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stop arguing, children.” Hosea gave them both an amused look. “You’re lucky Arthur was there to save you, John.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know.” He would never be grateful enough for whatever made it possible for him to meet Arthur that day. “What meeting Bessie was like?” He wanted to know if he had the same experiences as Hosea all those years ago.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It felt like a dream honestly,” Hosea confessed, going back in memory to that day. “Suddenly she was in front of me and I was as scared as I was fascinated. I wouldn’t be able to stay away even if I wanted to.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Even after finding so much about Arthur, John was still fascinated by him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosea continued his story. “I spent a whole day with her, keeping my distance of course, I wasn’t sure if she wouldn’t eat me. Which was wise considering she thought about it. But she was rather friendly and I noticed quickly she wasn't some dumb animal but an actually intelligent creature. So when I returned to mine and Dutch’s hotel room that night, I asked him to stay in town for a little longer. I returned the next day to see Bessie again, and another. And again, bringing books with me. She learned quickly and soon we were talking, she used very basic or sometimes even broken English. But that didn’t bother me. Us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John smiled fondly. “You were in love.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We were.” Hosea looked towards the ocean again. “I was surprised by that. Bessie didn’t look like Arthur here, the only parts of her body without scales were most of her chest and her face, there should be nothing in her that made me fall in love. Yet I did and when it was time for me and Dutch to leave, Bessie and I were heartbroken. But I still left and for the first year I only visited.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Must’ve been hard,” Arthur noticed and looked at John. “I was losing my mind when I haven’t seen John for a week, I can’t imagine not having him for longer.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I'm not going anywhere,” John promised, hearing the fear in the merman’s voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t,” Hosea advised him again. “Leaving again and again was a nightmare, the time we spent together was never enough. So one day I told Dutch I'm not coming back. He understood.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Even if he didn’t know Bessie?” John asked, surprised.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosea nodded. “There was no law on our tails like now, he didn’t fear I was turning on him. He was hurt of course, just like he’s hurt now. I’m sure he’s reliving his nightmare right now with you, that’s why he’s lashing out so much lately. He knows I spoke to you, that I’ll make sure you won’t make the same mistake as I. He knows you’ll leave, even if you aren’t a rat and it hurts him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have no other choice. If Arthur could join us, he would.” The merman nodded in agreement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sure Dutch understand. Like I said, he’s just hurt and all this paranoia about the law doesn’t help. When you tell him, he won’t try to stop you. He just needs to know you’re not selling the rest of us to the law for a clean start.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m working on it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh?” Hosea watched him, curious. “Do tell, what is it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll rob a bank.” He had no other choice. “I’ll take Lenny to help, maybe other boys too if they aren’t afraid I’ll be leading them into trap.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll have to leave right after,” Hosea reminded him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John looked at Arthur and if he had any doubts about staying with the merman, just one look at him was enough to get rid of them. “I know. I’ll tell him then.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was terrified of that but the idea of leaving Arthur, not even forever but for a few months was terrifying him even more. He would never do that as long as he had something to say about that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is the right thing to do,” Hosea assured him, no doubt seeing the pain on his face. “You won’t regret it. I never did.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know.” John smiled, turning his gaze to the merman again. Arthur smiled back and leaned closer, placing a short, tender kiss on John’s lips. They saw each other in the morning, they spent it together, but John still felt like it was yesterday when they last kissed and he needed that. The thought of not having that every day for the rest of his life was actually nauseating.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They parted their lips both with content smiles on their face but they didn’t move away, looking into each other's eyes until Hosea cleared his throat. John moved away as if hit with the electricity, Arthur not ashamed as always, just unhappy John wasn’t as close as he liked. He had his tail around him to balance the loss. If Hosea noticed, he didn’t comment. But he didn’t hesitate to comment on the other thing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t stop on my account, it’s just some nasty cough I have,” he teased.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You actually sound better than at the beginning,” John noticed, happy with the change of the subject. He had enough of this embarrassment yesterday.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s the sea air,” Hosea explained. “It’ll put so much salt in you you’ll live to one hundred years.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“God forbid,” John laughed. “Hundred years, Jesus, who would like to live that long?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me,” Arthur answered. “With you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Christ, don’t say that in front of him!” John shouted, not because he was sandaled but to be louder than cackling Hosea. “He’s my father for god’s sake!” Arthur only grinned smugly. “You’re a bastard, you know that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s his form of endearment,” Arthur explained to still laughing Hosea.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“At least you can handle this boy. He was handful when he was a child and it only got worse when he grew up and you simply couldn’t grab him by the collar of his shirt and drag him to the bath as a punishment.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John rolled his eyes at another laugh. He wasn’t that difficult. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can do this when he’s being handful.” John yelped when the tail wrapped around him suddenly toppled him over and he was pressed against the ground with it, the sheer force of it knocking the air out of him. “It always works.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Asshole,” John wheezed and pushed helplessly at the tail. It didn’t budge. He didn’t need to look to know Arthur was smiling smugly at him right now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John looked at Hosea when the older man stepped closer to him and stared down at him. “I like Arthur, you should keep him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You think?” he asked sarcastically but his heart was soaring right now. Hosea liked Arthur!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I heard you draw, Arthur.” Hosea changed the subject and Arthur immediately perked up at the mention of drawing. He rolled on the ground, taking his tail off John who could finally breathe deeply. “Do you mind showing me your work?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not at all, Hosea,” he answered eagerly and went along with John's father before John even sat up. He didn’t follow right away, choosing to look at the two most important people in his life sharing a passion together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John stroked his aching chest, not entirely sure if it was like that because of Arthur's tail or the sight before him and he didn’t really care. With a smile, he joined the merman and Hosea, listening to them exchanging tips about art.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You sweetheart here is very talented,” Hosea said once John got close. He was sitting on the closed chest with Arthur's journal in his lap. “And he has a nice handwriting.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John's chest filled with pride. He already knew how talented Arthur was, even Hosea said it once, but it still hit differently. Especially with how lovely the merman blushed at the praise.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s better than you,” he pointed out without shame.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosea looked at him with sparkling eyes. “I wouldn’t say that but you’re biased, so I forgive you that. And he deserves the praises for teaching you how to draw better.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was rather easy, John is a quick learner,” Arthur mentioned proudly. John smiled at him gratefully.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not with me, he is and always was a brat when it came to learning things. Apart from learning how to shoot a gun, he was always excited for that.” John huffed. What was with the others making fun of him in front of Arthur? “But I can’t blame him, it’s easier to learn when you have a pretty face next to you instead of a boring old man.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s actually rather distracting,” John added under his breath. Thankfully only Arthur heard that and chuckled, which made Hosea figure out what had been said anyway.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“These are all great.” Hosea smiled and looked at Arthur. “I’m even more impressed because you couldn’t use paper most of the time, I assume? Your tattoo is impressive as well.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur blushed again and smiled shyly. John made a note in his head to draw him like that later.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you, Hosea.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re welcome.” Hosea closed the journal and put it next to himself. “So, Arthur, tell me more about your life. I wonder if merpeople from the east coast are much different from the ones on the west.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright.” Arthur shifted to sit more comfortably. John joined him, loosely wrapping an arm around his shoulders. The merman sent him a smile before focusing on Hosea. “But I'm afraid my colony isn’t the best example for that. Apparently we are known among other merpeople to be very unfriendly. We kill any guests.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry to hear that. But that makes it even more fascinating in my opinion. Closed off societies always are. So tell as much as you can.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur didn’t really need encouragement and when he started talking about his colony, it took roughly two hours before he and Hosea were both satisfied sharing their knowledge. Bessie’s colony was a lot like Chechru was saying her colony was. Friendly, open for other merpeople. John promised himself then to travel along the coast with Arthur so they could meet those merpeople. His lover clearly wanted that with the way he kept listening to stories Hosea had to tell.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just like yesterday, John was fine with just listening, happy that Arthur and Hosea liked each other and were on a great way to become friends. It was probably good for Hosea to see another merperson after so many years, even if Arthur looked nothing like Bessie. And Arthur of course loved meeting another human. It was too bad it wouldn’t last, Hosea would leave with Dutch and the others soon. But if John’s plan with the bank was going to work, the gang could visit from time to time. Or those people that knew about Arthur at least. John could introduce others to the merman too eventually.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And if it wouldn’t work and Dutch would treat him like a traitor forever, at least John still had Charles, Sadie, Hosea and Lenny. Maybe Sean and Mary-Beth too. And other girls. Jack too if he could keep Arthur a secret. Then again, who would believe a child saying that merpeople were real?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosea didn’t want to stay for a meal, despite Arthur and John insisting.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I better get back to Dutch, make sure he isn’t listening to a certain snake too much,” he said and it was a valid reason. Who knew what Micah was suggesting now that there was no one in the camp to cut his horseshit? Unless someone punched him in the face for being annoying.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you gonna tell him?” John asked. “That you saw my ‘woman’? Maybe he’ll get off my back, he’ll listen to you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I tried to make him leave you alone for a while now, I don’t think it’ll help much.” John was expecting this. “The best thing would be telling him about Arthur, share the whole truth. That way he wouldn’t think you work with the law. Why would you when you have something so precious to hide?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, that won’t happen. Why have you never told Dutch?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Him and Hosea were always close, John would never expect Hosea to hide something so big from Dutch, especially after Bessie died and Dutch wouldn’t be able to hurt her anymore.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosea shrugged. “I didn’t know how he would react. We knew each other for so short then, he could’ve hunted Bessie. I don’t think he would or that he would do that with Arthur but I didn’t want to risk it and I understand you don’t want either. So I never told him, even when she died. There was no point then, I buried Bessie on the beach and apart from my drawings of her and the few scales I still have from her tail, there was no proof of her existence. He would’ve never believed me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why did you want me to tell Dutch then? If you have known since almost the beginning that I'm hiding a merperson?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was just looking for the final confirmation, really. There was no reason for you to hide your lover from Dutch, even a man, but there was a reason to hide a merperson. So I pushed you a little to see if you would break and tell Dutch. But you didn’t and you looked really scared of telling him. So there had to be more behind it than a simple fear of getting your lover involved with our life.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John snorted quietly. “I would tell Dutch about Arthur if only I could be sure he wouldn’t hurt him after. And I ain’t sure of that. No matter how angry or suspicious of me he is, he wouldn’t try to kill the person I care about, right? But I once thought he would never suspect me of being a rat yet here we are.” John spread his arms helplessly, feeling Arthur's tail wrapping itself around his ankle. A comforting touch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to tell him if you don’t want to,” Hosea assured him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “He doesn’t need to know anything about your sweetheart, that’s only your business. Do whatever you need to keep Arthur safe.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John nodded, determined to do so. But he wondered if it was possible to do forever.    </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How Bessie died?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The question was painful for Hosea but he needed to know. To know if him and Arthur were awaiting the same faith.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just like he predicted, Hosea’s face fell right away at the question. But he didn’t look angry. “You know that already. Tuberculosis.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought it was a lie to cover the real reason.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosea shook his head. “No, it got her rough one day. Probably because she was weakened by a fight with a shark. I think she caught TB from one human she ate. How else would she have caught that otherwise?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John’s body filled with dread. He turned to Arthur with a quickly beating heart. “No more humans for you,” he said sternly, pointing his finger at the merman.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” he asked, dumbfounded. “I’m eating humans all my life, I’m fine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I said no,” he repeated. Arthur watched him with disbelief and something resembling fondness. “You will only eat fish from now on.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur snorted. “Can I at least have crabs?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Anything but humans.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think he can eat them if he cooks them,” Hosea added in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John raised his hand at him, slowly losing his patience. “Don’t give him any ideas,” he asked the older man. He really didn’t want to help Arthur cook human flesh. It could actually look and smell nice and he didn’t want to have those thoughts about parts of the human corpse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’ll be fine, don’t worry.” Hosea patted him on the arm and brought him for a quick hug. “I’m happy for you, son.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John hugged back with all he had. Well, not everything, he didn’t want to hurt Hosea. “Thank you,” he whispered back, his voice shaking just slightly. “You could’ve told me you know,” John noticed, a bit angry that Hosea let him think he had no one to confide in. “When you first noticed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Somehow, there was guilt in the sigh Hosea let out. “Didn’t want to scare you,” he explained softly. “Or make a fool of myself if I was wrong and you really was hiding just a woman or a man.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John nodded, understanding. He had no idea how he would’ve done it if he was in Hosea’s place.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosea moved away and faced Arthur next. “It’s been a pleasure to meet you, Arthur. Bessie would’ve loved you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur bowed his head. “The pleasure is all mine,” he replied and smiled at the older man. “Wish I could’ve met her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hosea smiled warmly at him. “Well I won’t interrupt you more. I bet you can’t wait to see me gone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not true.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please don’t lie on my behalf, John,” Hosea asked him and winked. “I was young too once, you know?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John wrinkled his nose in disgust. “I don’t wanna think about that,” he said, causing Hosea to laugh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll spare you the details then.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You humans are so prude,” Arthur said suddenly, smirking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bessie was always saying that too.” Hosea chuckled and turned around, walking up the path. “Have a nice day, boys.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You too, Hosea,” Arthur responded. He watched the older man till he was gone and then looked at John. “You have a nice father, John.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah?” He was glad Arthur and Hosea liked each other.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur smirked and waved a finger at him. John kneeled in front of the merman, gasping in surprise when he was brought closer by the collar of his shirt. “But I’m glad he’s gone now,” Arthur purred and kissed him deeply. John opened his mouth instantly, inviting Arthur's tongue inside. When he felt it against his, they both sighed. “There was too many people stealing our time together lately.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t pretend you didn’t have fun,” John responded, sitting down on the sand to not hurt his knees.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I had,” Arthur assured and licked John's lips playfully. John giggled. “But I have more fun with you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh?” John’s heart started racing in his chest. “And what you offer for us to have fun now?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He desperately wanted Arthur to say he would fuck him but he knew the merman would never suggest that on his own. And John didn’t want to ruin the atmosphere now by being too bold.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur hummed to himself and tugged at John’s shirt, still in his grasp. “You could get rid of that,” he suggested and pulled off the collar, uncovering John’s neck for himself to lick and nip. John bared his throat even more, a soft moan building in the back of it, ready to escape at any moment. “It annoys me,” he said and bit hard.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The moan escaped and John grabbed the merman by the arm, piercing it with his nails. “Slow down, cowboy, Hosea is only gone for a minute,” John reminded him, enjoying the touch of the long tongue on his skin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Think he can come back?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John took a look at the path but there was no one here. And when he listened closely, he couldn’t hear Hosea coming back either. “Uh, maybe?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t care.” And with that, Arthur pushed John onto the ground and kissed him with passion that John couldn’t say no too. He kissed with the same desperation, their bodies already rutting together a bit. “He gave us a free hand,” Arthur reminded him when they took a short break and looked down at him. Only a faint line of blue was left in the merman’s eyes, completely consumed by lust. “But if you’re scared we can wait a bit longer.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now he was giving John that opportunity? When John’s cock already throbbed in his pants and he wanted to feel Arthur's naked skin against his? Feel the sparks flying between their bodies while chasing their completions?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“To hell with Hosea,” he growled and attacked Arthur's mouth with his, pushing the merman off himself to change their position.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur laughed into his mouth and hugged him tightly against himself, his hands grabbing John’s hair tightly and not letting him escape.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John wasn't planning to.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t come back to the camp just like yesterday. It didn’t help him not look suspicious but coming back wouldn’t help him either so there was no reason to return. Especially if Hosea talked with Dutch and hopefully calmed him down a bit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Besides, there was no Arthur in his bed at the camp, unlike in the bay.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Usually John had no problem sleeping with Arthur. The soft hum of the waves was like a lullaby and feeling another body next to his was filling John with so much content he was able to doze off in seconds.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not tonight. He couldn’t sleep no matter how long he kept his eyes closed. He envied Arthur who slept like a hibernating bear, snoring softly into John's neck where he was tucked under his chin, head resting on John’s chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John hugged his lover closer against himself and sighed tiredly. It's not that he didn't want to sleep, he just couldn't.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wished he could but his mind was restless, chasing around between different thoughts like a wild dog. Hosea, Bessie, Dutch, Arthur, the bank job. Not everyday you find out that your father was in love with a mermaid. While you’re in love with a merman and because of that your other father suspects you of being a rat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This whole mess was so surreal John was convinced it was a dream and he was going to wake up soon, back in Blackwater, on a day of the ferry heist. He didn’t want that to be honest. He would rather have that mess with Arthur in it than his old life back without him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Why ain’t you sleeping?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John jumped, startled, when he heard a sleepy question murmured by Arthur. He waited a few seconds to be sure he wasn't going to die of heart attack before answering. "Can't."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur huffed and moved away from him, his hand brushing John’s chest before it landed in the space between their bodies the merman just created to look at John better. John already missed his lover’s body against his. "Figured that much,” he pointed out and yawned wide. “Any particular reason?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John shrugged. "Too much on my mind. Got me thinking."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Don't hurt yourself."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John looked at the merman, smiling. "What a funny fella you are."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur smiled back and hummed. "I know,” he said and without looking, searched John’s hand to grab it with his. John squeezed his palm, grateful for the anchoring touch. “But really, what is going on?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just nervous, I guess. I waited long enough, I can’t wait any longer. I need to rob that bank.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wasn’t particularly eager for it like in the past. It should be easy, it wasn’t a big bank, just big enough to satisfy Dutch, but it was still making him worried like never before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur watched him, confused. “It won’t be the first time, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John shook his head. “But it will be the first time I don’t really want to do this because I have someone to get back to.” He looked at the merman seriously. “I don’t want to risk my life.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s not that he wanted to die any other time. But the knowledge that someone was waiting for him changed his perspective on being an outlaw. Suddenly it wasn’t an alluring lifestyle anymore. When it was just him and the rest of the gang, all of them aware of what they were getting into, how much they were risking, it was fine. But now he had Arthur and the merman didn’t sign up for this. It wouldn’t be fair to him for John to worry him constantly about whether he’ll be back from the job this time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John didn’t want that for him. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Arthur. He himself had too much to risk this time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then don’t.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just like that. That easy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What about Dutch then?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What about him? He won’t kill you, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Honestly, John had no idea anymore. It felt like he didn’t know Dutch no more. “I don’t want him to hate me,” he confessed. No matter how Dutch treated him lately, the man was still his father and saved his life many times. “To think for the rest of his life that I betrayed him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well that’s his problem not yours if he believed some rumors instead of you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But it hurts me too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It hurt even thinking about that. He was always loyal and that’s what he got back for that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur shifted closer again, letting go of John’s hand to touch his face softly. John closed his eyes, focusing on a feeling of Arthur’s claws on his skin. “I know,” the merman whispered. “And I'm sorry you need to go through this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John opened his eyes again, noticing sympathy on Arthur’s face. “Not your fault,” he assured and turned onto his side, leaving almost no space between their bodies.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t need to be guilty to feel sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John smiled at him, glad for the support. If he was alone in this, he would break down a long time ago already. “Can we not talk about this?” It wasn’t going to help much and he already made up his mind. He was going to rob that bank and do everything in his power to come back alive. Nothing else he could do when letting Dutch think of him as a rat forever was out of question.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Will you be able to go to sleep now?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John bit into his lower lip, thinking. “I may need a distraction,” he said huskily, looking at the merman hopefully.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur grinned and gently rolled John onto his back. “I may have exactly what you need,” he promised as he crawled up John’s body. John’s hand found their way to the merman’s shoulder and from there, to his back he caressed softly as they kissed, the heat in them quickly growing stronger, turning into full blown fire.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John gasped quietly into the kiss, his mind empty of anything that wasn’t Arthur, his cold body, the smell of his skin. He bucked his hips up slightly, almost shyly rubbing against the merman above him. Arthur responded by releasing a breathy moan and pressing back down. He didn’t move away, John threw his leg around the strong tail and kept it against his pelvis. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knew Arthur could free himself at any moment, but he didn’t, instead starting a slow rhythm between them as they rutted against each other, grunting and gasping into their mouths, breathing quicker their bodies getting sweater and.   </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The lust inside John grew stronger, filling his veins with liquefied fire. It rushed through his body, making him dizzy in the head and hard in his pants. He moaned shamelessly when he felt that Arthur was in the same state, his cock sliding out eagerly, leaving damp spots on John’s pants as the merman rutted harder, desperate for more stimulation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John seized the body above him, his nails scratching the skin of Arthur’s back when the pleasure shook his body. The merman hissed from pain, his hips losing their rhythm for a moment before not only returning to it, but increasing it, John right behind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They were lost in each other, it would be so easy to just follow what they were doing, finish quickly and fall asleep, satisfied and happy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John didn’t know about satisfaction. He wanted more, his cock was pressing against the fly of his pants, fully hard and begging for the touch, for Arthur’s own shaft to slide against it. And it wasn’t the only part of John craving for that dick.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His ass clenched on nothing and he whimpered pathetically when he thought of having Arthur inside him but felt nothing, only emptiness. He wanted it so badly he felt like he was going crazy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur, alarmed by John’s whimper, stopped his rutting and pulled back from the kiss, both of them gasping, tongues a bit stiff from all the tangling they were doing in the merman’s mouth this whole time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before Arthur got the chance to ask what was wrong, John beat him to it. “Fuck me,” he blurted out. To hell with subtlety, Arthur was his lover, he shouldn’t be ashamed to ask for something like that. He was already red on the face anyway.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur was too but his reddened cheeks darkened even more. “Excuse me?” he asked, startled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John didn’t answer right away. He reached a hand to Arthur’s hair and grasped it, gently pulling him back down. “I wanted you inside me for a while now,” he confessed, finalizing it with a deep kiss that made Arthur groan deep in his throat. “Please,” John rasped, watching as Arthur’s eyes filled with hunger.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay,” he nodded, nervously licking his lips. “Alright, I can do that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John smiled, taking his hand back and placing it next to his head along with the other. He didn’t miss how Arthur’s pupils widened at the inviting sight. “Great,” he breathed out, not knowing what more to say. He was feeling nervous all of sudden, just like before he and Arthur started being intimate.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The merman licked his lips again. “You’ll have to lead me through it, I only know the basics. I didn’t even know males can be penetrated.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The basic is all you need,” John assured him, lifting his hand again to rub his palm on Arthur’s chest. His mouth went dry at the feeling of the strong muscles underneath and how one of them twitched under his fingers. “I need something slick. To stretch myself,” he explained, seeing the confusion on Arthur's face. “You’re already slick but it may not be enough, ass isn’t exactly made for fucking like a women’s vagina.” John looked towards the chest under the cliff. “I have a gun oil in my bag.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll get that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur seemed almost eager to get to it and John had no idea if it was because he wanted to fuck John so badly or because he was looking for an escape from a stressful situation. He just hopped the merman wasn’t going to bail before the best part. If he would, John was going to be disappointed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur crawled to John's bag laying with other of his belongings near the chest. Old Boy woke up briefly but after realizing he was in no danger, he returned to sleep while the merman fished out the gun oil. He turned with it in his hand and smiled proudly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eager to fuck John it is.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John smiled back, trembling with excitement as much as with fear. He shouldn’t be scared, Arthur wasn’t even that big, John took bigger fellas up in the ass but it wasn't the pain he feared.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur returned quickly and handed John the oil, both of their hands shaking as they passed it between each other.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Now what?” Arthur asked, puzzled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I need to prepare myself,” John explained, feeling more awkward than during his first time when a prostitute was explaining to him what to do. He felt stupid then. Now it was the other way around and it was just awkward. He never had to explain anything to his previous partners before and he didn’t know how to do it now. “I uh… need to finger myself, make sure I’m… wet on the inside.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur nodded. “Any way I can help?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You could watch,” John suggested, his cheeks heating up. “It’s fun.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur cocked an eyebrow at him. “Watching but not touching fun?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s hard to explain. It just is. You’ll see. You can’t exactly stretch me yourself.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Annoyed, Arthur looked at his clawed fingers, wiggling them a little. Seeing those sharp claws should be horrifying right now, yet John felt his hole clenching again. Because no matter how sharp those claws were, John had no doubt that without them, Arthur's fingers would be deliciously stretchy inside him. They were so thick John's mouth watered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can undress me if you want,” John offered when he saw the disappointed on Arthur’s face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He dressed back after they fooled around earlier. His shirt was unbuttoned already so all that was to take off was his pants and underwear but he was sure Arthur would still like that. Undressing your lover was always one of the best parts of sleeping together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur nodded and crawled up his body again. Seeing him do that almost so predatory made John’s body burning right under his skin. The merman settled gently against his legs, careful to not crush him too much. John didn’t mind, he liked to feel Arthur’s weight on himself, feel trapped by him and wiggle helplessly while consumed by pleasure.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe he would have that later, right now, they were going slow. John laid pliant on the blanket, watching how Arthur laid a hand on his chest, right between two sides of the shirt. John’s heart thundered under the merman’s palm, who no doubt felt it and maybe that was what made him smirk in that moment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur was in no hurry, exploring John’s body as if the first time. John had no intention of rushing him either, he was enjoying this, panting loudly despite nothing happening yet. Arthur only pushed aside the shirt, his palm stroking the sensitive skin on John’s ribs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shivered, holding up the gasp when the merman’s fingers brushed over the still fresh bullet scar on his side. It was deliberate, Arthur felt it with his finger, gently following the outline. He looked at John, his gaze intense but unreadable. He shifted it to the scar then, studying it for a moment before leaning down. For half a second or even less, John vaguely remembered something similar, Arthur’s fangs sinking into his flesh in the exact same place. But it was quickly forgotten again when another shiver rushed through his body as the merman placed a soft kiss against the sensitive, pink skin there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Art…” John whispered breathlessly, feeling his chest fill with affection at the merman’s gesture.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur didn’t answer, he kissed the scar again, more firmly. It didn’t hurt anymore but it still tingled under his lips and John sighed in pleasure. He watched as the merman moved with his kisses, leaving a trail of them from the scar back to the chest. His hand was moving before the lips, it reached the other lap of the shirt and pushed it aside too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John’s breath hitched when Arthur’s thumb bumped his nipple in a way it couldn’t be an accident. He got the confirmation of that when his other nipple was suddenly surrounded by wetness and warmth as the merman took it into his mouth and licked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A moan escaped John’s throat that he bared when he tossed his head back on the blanket under him. One of his hands squeezed the gun oil, the other clenched on nothing as he withered with pleasure under Arthur, who kept licking and sucking on his nipple, making it standing out in a matter of seconds.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit, Art,” he gasped, his free hand shooting out to the merman’s arm. He grabbed it and just held onto it, panting, his chest raising heavily with each breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It didn’t seem to bother Arthur, who sucked eagerly on one nipple while playing with the other. John whimpered when instead of another squeeze to it, he felt the claw touching it carefully. With a moan, he released the gun oil to grab at Arthur’s hair too. The merman grunted when he tugged at it, maybe a bit painfully but John couldn’t help himself. The sensation Arthur was giving him was making his muscles spasm uncontrollably. Who would have thought that not so long ago Arthur didn’t even have an idea nipples were this sensitive.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The hand in his hair didn’t stop Arthur from moving his mouth to the other nipple, paying him just as much attention as to the other one that wasn’t free from the sweet torture, squeezed just like the other one earlier.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John moaned and pushed his chest up shamelessly, Arthur rewarding him with sucking harder, tongue toying with the bud in his mouth. A jolt of pleasure ran through John, making his hips twitch, rubbing them against the body above and reminding him of his hard cock. “Pants,” he gasped, bucking his hips again, only this time on purpose, to release some pressure but it only made it build up more. He held up another moan. “Pants, off,” he repeated, more urgently, torn between pushing Arthur away and bringing him closer to his chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur heard him this time. He left the nipple, angry red and wet with saliva. He didn’t proceed to take off John’s pants immediately, he kissed him again first, attacking his mouth hungrily. It was reflected in his eyes before they both closed them to lose themselves in an open mouthed kiss that was pulling all sorts of breathy sounds from them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It ended with whimpers from both of them when their lips parted, a trail of saliva connecting them for a moment before it broke when Arthur went down John’s body. He quickly unbuttoned the pants and tugged them down with John’s help, who lifted his hips. John kicked off the rest once they were at his ankles and he was left in just his drawers that left nothing to imagination, the outline of his hard cock on display for Arthur to see.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Arthur watched, mesmerized. John watched him back, how he gulped and wetted his lips. The glimpse of that tongue made John spread his legs a little wider, just for the merman to lay between them. Which he did, lowering his body slowly, eyes on John’s cock and the damp spot where he leaked precum already.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur laid down carefully and with one hand for support, he grabbed the waistband of the drawers with the other on and tugged it down slowly. John’s breath quickened in anticipation, gasping softly when the merman pulled the drawers from his hips. The cock inside sprung free, hitting John on the stomach, rock hard, leaking and asking for attention that Arthur was happy to provide.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The merman didn’t even take off the drawers all the way down before diving down and taking John’s dick in his mouth. John let out a mixture of hiss and moan and quickly grabbed Arthur’s hair with both hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck, Art!” he shouted and moaned the next, the merman sucking eagerly at his shaft, tongue almost wrapping around it. “You can’t, hah…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John bumped his head on the ground, fighting with his own body that was being consumed with pleasure. Arthur took half of his cock into his mouth, so wet and hot John’s thighs were quivering under the merman’s strong hold on them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Whimpering, John tried to push up despite himself, sink deeper into that hotness, enter it again and again till he would cum deep into the merman’s throat contracting around him. His abdomen clenched at the thought, just like his cock twitched in Arthur’s mouth, both warning him he was getting really close to finish.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Arthur, stop,” he begged but at the same time still tried to push into the merman’s willing mouth. And Arthur let him, letting go of his hips that shot up right away. John moaned loudly just as the merman choked slightly, the sound getting right into John’s cock that he kept sliding between Arthur’s soft lips in a fast pace, not doing anything to stop despite wanting to. “I don’t want to cum like this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur sucked him one last time and raised his head, looking at him with eyes full of lust. John could only focus on the merman lips that glistened with saliva and were parted so invitingly John forgot for a moment how this night was supposed to end. God, he wanted to fuck those mouth so badly. And then have his own fucked too, feel Arthur’s cock pulsing with need between his lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Arthur apologized, pulling off the drawers all the way and tossing them to the side. “Got carried away.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John laughed, grabbing the gun oil again. “Don’t apologize for that, sweetheart,” he told his lover while opening the oil and coating his fingers with it. “I’m happy to fuck your mouth later.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur smirked. “Promise?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You got it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John took a deep breath to calm himself but that didn’t help really as he pulled up his legs to get access to his hole. Arthur watched and it made John feel vulnerable like never before and he liked it, how the merman’s eyes roamed his body, admiring it, no doubt wanting to touch it too. John felt desired and it was one of the best feelings in the world he ever experienced. He was never that attractive but somehow Arthur, his perfect merman wanted him as much as John wanted him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then why was he hesitating? His finger hovered over his hole, not even touching it. He’s done it many times, both alone and done by someone. This wasn’t new, it shouldn’t be scary yet it was. Because why if Arthur won’t like it? Maybe the fact that they were different species would make it bad? Maybe he would be too tight, or too loose?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A touch to his ankle startled him, he almost kicked out of instinct but he remembered in time it was just Arthur, who gently lowered his leg to the ground. John did the same on his own with the other and watched as Arthur crawled between them till they were perfectly aligned and could stare into each other's eyes, both of Arthur's forearms on the sides of John’s head. The merman kissed him sweetly, making John's heart clench in the process. God, he was so gentle and so thoughtful while it should be the other way around. He should be the one consoling and calming Arthur down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Why are you nervous?" the merman asked after separating their lips. John already missed the kiss and it's calming capabilities.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Don't want to mess it up," he answered quietly and fearfully, his clean fingers grazing the skin of Arthur's cheek. The merman grabbed his palm and brought it to his lips, their soft touch sending a spark through John's arm, all the way to his racing heart.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I should be the one worried about that." Arthur kissed his palm again, a feather like brush feeling like a slap to John's oversensitive skin. "Never done this, remember?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I never did this with a merman."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'll be the one too fuck you." A playful smirk graced Arthur's lips. "Just lay there for me and look pretty."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John snorted, letting the merman entwine their fingers together and bringing them down, against the ground next to John's head as Arthur hovered over him carefully, his free hand placed on the opposite side to the first. John's heart skipped a beat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Whenever he let a man fuck him in the past, he never let them be close like that, face to face. It was too intimate, too scary. It was scary with Arthur too, only in a different way, but an exciting one. If there was one person he wanted to experience something like that with, it was Arthur.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So he didn't fight to be on top like usual. And he didn't turn his head when Arthur leaned down to kiss him again. Instead, he closed his eyes and opened his mouth, welcoming the merman's tongue inside and touching it with his own.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John's body relaxed and he sighed into the kiss, enjoying the slow moment and how calming it was. But the lust was already bubbling inside him and with the way Arthur grinded their cocks together, the merman wasn't very far behind. It would be a matter of time before they would be lost in the pleasure and it both excited John and made him nervous again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur must've felt it, because he stopped the kiss and looked down on him softly, letting go of John's hand to brush his cheek with the top of his palm. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm nervous too," he admitted. Even in the orange light of the fire by them, John could see the blush on the merman's face. “I want you to feel good and I'm scared I’ll hurt you or that it would be only boring for you.” John smiled at him, glad that he wasn’t alone in his worries. “But if we mess it up, we can always try again,” Arthur suggested with a smirk and leaned down, brushing his lips over John’s cheek. “And again.” Another kiss, just slightly to the right. “And again,” the merman repeated, pressing his lips just behind John’s ear and making him squirm. “Till we reach perfection,” he whispered sensually.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John groaned, grabbed Arthur’s neck and brought him to another kiss, pressing their lips together harshly, almost painfully. They parted with a gasp and he looked into Arthur’s eyes determined. “Let’s try for the first time, shall we?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur only had to grin. “Gladly,” he responded. “Let me try to lose you up a bit first.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Lose me up?” he repeated, dumbfounded. He watched Arthur getting back between his thighs but it didn’t end on just that. John gasped when he was manhandled like a child and turned on his front. “Oh god, you’re going to…” He had to swallow before continuing. He felt dizzy just at the prospect of what was going to happen. “I didn’t want to suggest that…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No need to,” Arthur interrupted him while spreading John's ass cheeks. John propped himself on crossed arms and looked back at the merman, still in awe. “When I saw you spreading yourself I couldn’t not think of that,” he finished and winked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John blushed but tried to act like what Arthur said wasn't affecting him. “Not everyone likes that,” John explained himself. “It’s disgusting to some.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Part of you as any other,” Arthur pointed out, lowering his body. John could feel his warm breath on his ass.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, not exactly but I’ll shut up now to not repulse you.” He really didn’t want the merman to change his mind. Even though he feared he might cum just from having his hole played with. He was already close just by thinking about that. It was always his weakest spot.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur smirked. “You do that,” he suggested and licked across John's hole without any other warning.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John had to drop his head on his arms as his body twitched violently with pleasure. He practically shouted, and so loudly at that it spooked Old Boy. But John ignored his horse and focused all of his thoughts and senses on the tongue playing with his rim. “Fuck!” he cursed, twisting the blanked in his hands when he grabbed it tightly. “Oh god.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He could swore he heard Arthur chuckle but he couldn’t be sure, it was hard to hear anything but his own moans that he couldn’t stop from escaping. Even when he bit his lip or stuffed a fist into his mouth, they were still coming out from his shaking body.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shiver after shiver rolled through his body with every lick of Arthur’s tongue and when it finally plunged inside, John almost cum on the spot, wailing in ecstasy and almost ripping the blanket, the sound of a tearing material thundering so close to his ear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur’s tongue was just perfect. It reached as far as human tongue and it wasn't even all in yet, the merman teased him, fucking him with it slowly and shallowly for a moment and then getting back to playing with the rim, giving it shy licks that were driving John crazy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Deeper,” he panted, pushing his ass back against Arthur's face in desperation. “Please, Art, fuck me with it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This time Arthur certainly chuckled. John whined at the loss of the tongue but when he tried to push back again, the merman grabbed his ass more firmly and pressed it back to the ground, the claws touching the skin almost like a threat. John knew he was safe but the slight danger of drawing blood still made him excited and he showed it with a moan.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur kissed the left cheek and bit it playfully the very next second. John grunted, glad it were just normal teeth. He wiggled impatiently when the merman spread him even wider but did nothing else.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you… staring at me there?” John asked after a few seconds, turning his head around to see. Yup, Arthur was staring. He wasn't sure if he should be flattered or embarrassed. A mixture of both was the right answer apparently, but the embarrassment overcame the flatter with Arthur’s comment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It clenches,” he noticed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John hid his face in arms and groaned, but not in pleasure. “Oh my god, I can’t believe you just said that,” he lamented, his face on fire. He had no idea how he was still aroused after that but his cock didn’t lose any of its enthusiasm and what’s worse, his hole clenched too! Sex never was this embarrassing and pleasant at the same time. “It because I need you to fuck me with your tongue, you idiot.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hoped Arthur felt ashamed but knowing how shameless merpeople could get, John doubted it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“With pleasure,” the merman replied.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John mouthed finally into his forearm that silenced his moan when the tongue was back in him and deeper this time. John had to control himself very hard to not cum right here and there as Arthur fucked him with his tongue, losing him up as he promised. He was glad they were far away from any humans, because the way he was moaning and grunting would put even the fakest whore to shame. Nobody would moan like that even if they got paid.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just to be sure, John looked up at the path to see if one of his friends wasn't back. Being caught like that was even worse than the first time but thankfully, it was empty. They were alone and John could lay on the ground boneless, enjoying being tongue fucked without shame.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck, this is amazing,” he moaned out. Arthur hummed in appreciation, pushing his tongue as deep as possible. “I could cum from this alone but I really want you to fuck me with your dick. Off.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur moved away, sucking on John’s rim one last time before letting him go. John lifted himself on shaking hands, barely able to hold himself. “You okay?” Arthur asked, no concern in his voice, just smugness.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Peachy,” John replied with a chuckle. “Oh damn.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, we didn’t mess this up,” the merman noticed, chuckling himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John let out a full laugh as he turned and laid on his back again. “No we didn’t,” he agreed, grabbing the oil again since the last one was wiped in the blanket earlier. “Good thing you offered it now, gun oil isn’t tasty.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know from an experience?” Arthur sat down comfortably in front of him. His cock was out of its slit, long and hard John couldn’t wait to feel it inside.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I… heard,” he answered, embarrassed. Arthur snorted. “Shut up,” he ordered. This time when he tucked his legs against the chest, he didn’t feel nervous. “Watch me,” he asked his lover. “And touch yourself if you want. Just don’t cum.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John looked at the merman from between his legs and noticed him gulping, clearly affected by John being so open. “I’ll try,” he promised.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John wished he thought about moving under the cliff earlier, because as of right now, he had no way of watching Arthur back without anything to lean on. Another time, he thought as he circled his rim, loose and wet from Arthur’s spit. The first finger sank inside without any resistance so John didn’t wait to add the second one right away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This time he felt a stretch and couldn’t help but gasp softly. He wanted to check how Arthur reacted, see the hunger in his eyes instead of just feeling it. Instead, John rested his head on the blanket and stared up into the sky as he worked himself open, spreading his fingers every now and then.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He barely started when he heard Arthur touching his slick cock. John smiled and closed his eyes, imagined the merman right now, his hand wrapped around the long shaft, moving up and down in the same pace as John’s fingers up his ass. Moaning, John pushed his fingers deeper, hearing Arthur groan in response, clearly trying to be quiet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t silence yourself, darlin’, I can’t exactly see you now,” John encouraged him. “Let me hear you instead.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The next grunt from Arthur was much more audible. “You was right,” the merman spoke, his voice rougher than usual and oozing with lust. Just the sound of this voice made the fire in John’s abdomen rage. “Watching is enjoyable.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John laughed breathlessly. “Told you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To give his lover even a better show, John spread his legs wider and reached for his cock with the other hand, stroking it slowly, just to tease but not cum. Arthur moaned, not holding himself back as he increased the speed of his hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t cum,” John begged him, enjoying every sound, every hitch of breath, even if he couldn’t see what was happening. The lack of visuals was only making the desire in him burn harder. “Don’t you dare cum before you fuck me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I won’t,” Arthur promised. “Cum that is.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John laughed, fingering himself faster. How did the laugh make him more aroused? “Good boy,” he praised the merman, pleased when he heard him moan next. “Can’t wait for you to fuck me,” he confessed with pants between almost every word. “Want it so badly.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me too,” the merman agreed. The slick sound of the strokes on his cock making John’s own shaft pulls with need in his hand. “You were so tight when I fucked you with my tongue.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah?” he asked innocently, adding a third finger, having to bite his lip at the wonderful stretch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur growled. “Almost took you then,” he groaned with need.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t have stopped you.” It would probably hurt a bit but John wasn’t shy about pain as long as he was in control. He never trusted any men to hurt him without actually hurting him. But he trusted Arthur. “Shit, you can take me right now and I won’t stop you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He could imagine it. Arthur getting to him in a second and manhandling him like before to get him on his front again. They couldn’t fuck face to face, Arthur’s tail was terrible for support. Not on land at least. But John was fine with being pounded into the ground just fine, Arthur’s body heavy and strong on him, trapping him as he would fuck John with a vigor of a virgin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John moaned and sped up with his thrusts, squeezing his cock at the base as he did so to stop his orgasm. Arthur was panting and it added to his imagination, how the merman would pant and gasp, and moan right into his ear as he would fuck into John, using his tail to grab him by the ankle and spread him wider. Or just rub it against his calves, his whole legs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit, Art, I can’t wait any longer,” he said, clenching tighter and more often on his fingers. His thighs shaking already, both from having them spread and impending orgasm. “Need you, now.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>John let go of his cock and pulled out his fingers, already missing the stretch they were bringing him. He hoped he didn’t get too loose for Arthur.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As he lowered his legs, John looked at Arthur again and his heart froze at the sight of fangs and completely black eyes watching him. The fear was brief and primal. And so, so arousing John moaned out loud and his legs spread again despite the ache in them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur crawled to him till he hovered above John’s body like earlier. They looked at each other with hunger and lust in their eyes before moving at the same time and clashing their mouths together, groaning with desperation and from pain when their teeth collided.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hooking his leg around Arthur's hip again, John brought him down on himself, rooting against the slick cock perfectly above him. They both trembled in each other’s arms and moved away as if burned, Arthur even moving aside to not tempt them with more contact that could bring them to finish.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Water,” the merman panted, flames of the fire reflected in his black eyelids. “It’ll be more comfortable for me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit, yeah.” It felt strange to move at this point. He was ready to be fucked, he should just keep his legs spread and let Arthur do the rest. But the merman was right.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So John got up and followed the merman on wobbly legs. Arthur was checking every couple of seconds if he was following, like an eager puppy and John smiled at his enthusiasm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Compared to his skin, the water was ice cold. John hissed and stopped for a short moment before entering further, quickly moving through the shallows with almost no resistance. Arthur swam and climbed the rocks before disappearing on the other side. He didn’t appear back and John already knew what was going to happen before he set his foot on the rocks. Once he stood on them, Arthur pulled him into the water.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John didn’t shout in the surprise, he simply took a deep breath and closed his eyes at the impact. He opened them when the light hit his eyelids. Arthur was glowing blue, looking as breathtaking as the first time. John smiled at him and didn’t stop even when the merman, grinning as well, kissed him with passion and need that were threatening to boil the water around them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The kiss took all of John’s air from his lungs and he didn’t even really notice it until he was back on the surface, gasping. Hair covered his eyes and he slicked it back to look at Arthur, casted in a blue glow coming from the water. Without it, John would have problems with seeing him. The night was moonless, only with billions of stars that weren’t giving enough light.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But it wouldn’t matter, John didn’t need to see, all he needed was to feel Arthur against him, in him. Still, John admired the blue light illuminating them both, almost like in some dream, too pretty for it to be real.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But it was real.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Turn around,” the merman told him, holding him for support till John could hold himself on the rocks. But Arthur never moved far away and soon his body was plastered against John’s, cock nestled between his ass cheeks but not too deep. John let out a shivered breath when the merman nuzzled into his neck softly and then kissed him behind the ear again, making him weak in the knees. Thank god he was in the water. “Ready?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” he answered without hesitation. He turned his head just enough to peck Arthur’s nose. “In me, now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur wrapped his arms around John as he entered him, inch by inch. John groaned in pleasure at the intrusion, the stretch of Arthur’s cock just right. He held onto the rocks tightly, lips parted in pleasure and breathing quickly through them as Arthur was sinking deeper, showing no signs of stopping.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The merman was shaking, clearly holding himself from plunging all the way. John wouldn’t mind that next time but now he was glad for the slow penetration, wanting to enjoy every inch of that wonderfully long cock for the first time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It seemed endless and just when John feared he would only feel it stop all the way up in his throat, Arthur’s pelvis rested against his ass, cock fully inside. John released a groan, laying against the rocks in front of him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This time the question was serious and full of concern.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he assured. He was fine, better than fine. He never felt so full in his life. “Christ, you’re just so deep.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And you’re tight,” Arthur replied, hugging him tightly, his hips twitching with need to move. The merman moaned at that, even the tiniest shift so intense for his first time. “I feel like I won’t last long.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s okay, cum whenever you like.” They had all the time in the world to work on Arthur’s stamina.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur rutted against his ass weakly when John clenched around him, not intentionally, he just couldn’t help himself when his ass was so full. “I want to make you feel good first,” the merman protested, having a hard time stopping himself from just pounding into John like an animal. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John let go of the rock to grab Arthur’s hand splayed on his chest, right above his heart. “You already did,” he promised. He never was so satisfied without an orgasm before. But he never was in love either. “You’re still doing it. Just let go, I can finish myself or you can do it the other way.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur nodded reluctantly against his neck. John’s heart was so full of love right now, deeply affected by the merman’s willingness to put John’s pleasure above his. John was ready to do the same but he had a feeling it wasn't needed. He was already enjoying himself, barely stopping himself from moaning whenever Arthur was thrusting shallowly into him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With John’s blessing, Arthur stopped holding himself. He pulled out of John slightly and thrusted back in, hard and fast, the gun oil and Arthur’s natural slick making it extremely easy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John was pinned to the rocks with the force of the thrust and he stayed there when Arthur set up an almost frantic rhythm that was pulling all sorts of needy moans and gasps out of John.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes!” John hissed through clenched teeth. “Just like that, darlin’, don’t hold yourself.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just like he imagined, Arthur panted and moaned into his ear, his hot breath like an iron brand on the skin of John’s cheek. The merman didn’t hold himself, if anything, John’s words encouraged him to go faster, snapping his hips like there was no water to stop him. John felt the whole tail taking a part in this, it brushed against his legs with every thrust.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“John.” Hearing Arthur moan his name like that, voice shaking with pleasure, filled John with pride. He was the one affecting the merman like that. Only him. And it only got better just a moment later. “My John,” Arthur continued. “My mate.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Trembling, John nodded eagerly. “Yours,” he confirmed, realizing Arthur probably didn’t notice the nodding in his eagerness to fuck John. “I’m your mate and you’re mine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur choked on his own moan, his next thrust a bit out of rhythm but he quickly got back to it, snapping his hips with enough force that John didn’t even have to push back. But he did anyway, showing how much he liked, how much deeper he needed Arthur.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re doing great, sunshine,” John praised his lover, finishing it with a long moan that made Arthur push desperately into him, his hips shaking. “So good to me. Are you close?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” the merman admitted, ashamed in a way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s fine, keep going,” John encouraged him. “You’re making me feel so good.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah?” he asked, doubtful.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John grunted with the next thrust, harder than the other one. When it repeated, he realized Arthur changed the pace for slower but stronger, pulling out further and letting John enjoy the slide in longer. John told him to just focus on himself and he still did the opposite. “So good,” he assured with a breathless moan. Arthur was forcing him to make a sound with each thrust. How could the merman have any doubt about whether he was making John enjoy himself? “God, I'm moaning like a bitch.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t know. How. A bitch. Sounds,” Arthur said, grunting almost every word separately.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John managed to squeeze in a laugh between the next moans. “Exactly like me,” he told Arthur and surrendered himself to pleasure, resting his head on the folded arms as his body rocked in the water with the force of Arthur’s thrusts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The merman kept him in place by his hips and chest, never letting him move away or sink, his claws just barely touching the skin. John trusted him completely, there was no fear to interrupt his pleasure, he could completely focus on the thrusts of Arthur’s cock in his ass, how deep it was reaching every time. Even when the merman was barely pulling out, John could still feel him so deep within himself it felt like it couldn’t get any deeper. But then Arthur was thrusting back and John remembered again that it could. It was and he was loving every second of it, clenching on the thin shaft and trying to keep it inside.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur liked those moments as well, when he was buried to the base and John’s hole fluttered around him, still trying to suck him deeper, hold him in place. The merman was always moaning the loudest in those moments and John’s cock was responding with a twitch every time. He was close. Arthur feared he would cum first but it looked like John wouldn’t be that far behind him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Pull out almost all the way and try to hit the wall straight on, near the entrance,” John told him suddenly, desperate for more stimulation. He would touch himself but his hands were the only things holding him from being pushed completely against the rocks and painfully rubbing his dick against them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur didn’t comply right away, not willing to lose the pleasant rhythm he had going on, but he did what John asked him of. The first hit was amiss but when the second delivered, hitting just right, John screamed, straining his already sore throat even more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right there!” he begged, pushing back against Arthur for more. “Keep hitting that spot, at least for a moment.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The merman grunted with effort and thrusted again, hitting the bundle of nerves perfectly. John clawed at the rocks as he screamed once again and again, because Arthur wasn’t missing at all and suddenly John was almost at the edge, his body convulsing with pleasure as the merman kept hitting that one spot over and over without a release.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck!” John shouted into the night, tears stinging in his eyes. “I can’t… Arthur.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ngh, me too,” the merman hissed through his teeth and then moaned deeply when he sank back fully into John who gasped. “You feel so good, I could stay inside you forever.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please do,” John mewled, taking the pounding Arthur was giving him without mercy. There was no rhythm anymore, Arthur lost all of it, simply chasing his orgasm now and slowly bringing John his own with it. “Come on,” he begged the merman desperately. “Cum for me, darlin’.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Arthur did. His tail wrapped itself around John’s legs as the merman gave one final thrust and with a hoarse cry of John’s name, he spilled thick seed deep inside John. The merman’s body was shaking uncontrollably, only his hips rolling with purpose against John’s ass, fast and needy at first but quickly slowing down till it only rutted lazily, pushing the cum deeper, coating the walls with it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur sighed, still wrapped around John’s body. He mouthed at John's neck while getting his breathing back to normal, his heart pounding against John’s back. John waited patiently for him, humming with pleasure as the merman’s cock gave its last twitch inside before it started softening.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John squeezed around it while it was still semi hard, to feel it one last time before the next opportunity to have it inside. Hopefully soon. Arthur groaned in response and moved, his tail loosening its grip. John hadn’t realized how tight it was wrapped around his legs till it let go, leaving a crawling sensation all over them when the blood could flow properly again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still kissing John’s neck and occasionally nipping at it with his fangs, Arthur brought his hand to John’s cock and grabbed it, stroking it quickly a couple of times. John’s breath got stuck in his throat, he let out a combination of a moan and a gasp once, twice and one final time before orgasm took over his body, making him shout Arthur’s name.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The pleasure came suddenly and intensely, but left quickly, leaving only shivering behind itself. John let go of the rocks and sagged against Arthur’s steady body behind him, resting with a satisfied sigh. Arthur held him closer as they floated on the surface, their bodies cooling down with the help of the water.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The merman placed his chin on John’s shoulder and sighed again, nuzzling into the scarred cheek, leaving a small kiss here. John smiled and turned his head, offering his lips for a kiss that Arthur was quick to provide.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They kissed slowly and without a desperation from seconds ago, simply enjoying the bliss and closeness between them. When they parted it was with smiles on their lips. “You was amazing,” John whispered softly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A lovely blush raise on Arthur’s cheeks, visible even in a blue glow. “Thank you,” he answered shyly, hiding his face in John’s neck. John chuckled, the stubble tickling him. “You was amazing too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John couldn’t help but blush too, even though Arthur couldn’t see him. “Thank you,” he said back, leaning his head back against Arthur’s shoulder. He looked at the stars again. They seemed to tingle brighter then earlier but maybe it was just imagination.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Arthur raised his head, John did too. The merman eyes were back to blue as they looked at each other, something kin to fear in Arthur’s gaze. John was about to ask him what’s wrong but Arthur was quicker.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn't blurted out, stuttered or whispered. It was said firmly, with the love those words were spelling out. There was confidence in Arthur’s voice, unlike in his eyes, slowly filling with panic. John could feel the merman’s heartbeat against his back, fast and frantic, exactly the same as his own racing heart.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John gulped, suddenly lost for words. He knew his silence was making Arthur nervous but he honest to god couldn’t speak right now. So he turned into merman’s arms, the soft cock slipping out of him but he didn’t pay it any attention, holding eye contact with Arthur instead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur watched him back intensely, waiting for a reply that John gave in the form of another kiss. He  cupped the merman’s face and put as much love into the touch of their lips as he could. His chest was bursting with it so he had plenty to spare but it still didn’t seem enough. So he pushed harder against the merman, with his whole body, wrapping his legs around the scaly hips tightly and kissing his merman deeper.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur moaned softly and hugged him back, one arm around John’s waist, the other around his shoulders, crushing him against his body. They kissed and kissed till they were out of breath, but not out of love.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Never out of that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you too,” John said back, just as firmly and confidently as Arthur. He knew how he felt and he wasn’t afraid to say so.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur seemed shocked at first but then the fear vanished from his eyes, replaced by joy. In that moment they sparkled even brighter than the stars above their heads as the merman smiled, a wide, happy and toothy grin that John simply couldn’t not return.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They moved at the same time but instead of kissing again, they rested their foreheads together and kept smiling, never stopping admiring the stars in their eyes.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>How do you like the twist with Hosea? 👀 And the smut? I'm actually proud of it, so please like it! 😅</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. The Great John Marston</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's a surprisingly short chapter. Thanks to fellow discord people for putting the idea for sleepy sex in my head 😂 And for reminding me about John's scars on his thigh, now I can put them EVERYWHERE, starting from this fic 😂</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John woke up, but he still felt like living in a dream. With a lazy smile, he draped himself more around Arthur, snuggling into the merman’s side and resting his head against his chest. This was nice, more than nice even, it was perfect and John didn’t want to move away from that loving embrace he was in.</p><p>Arthur was still sleeping, his chest raising slowly, with a matching heartbeat right under John’s ear. He listened to it, eyes barely open and staring at nothing in particular. He was reliving last night, which was probably the best night of his life. Not only did he and Arthur made love, becoming one in the most intimate way possible, they also said ‘I love you’ to each other.</p><p>John’s heart skipped a beat when he heard Arthur’s words in his head again, clear just as those few hours earlier when they were spoken for the first time. He never had doubt the merman loved him, but hearing him say it without a hitch, so confidently, was everything to John. The confession filled him with happiness he thought wasn’t possible to achieve. If earlier he felt in this relationship like being outside on a calm, sunny day, now he felt like in the middle of a thunderstorm, everything in him being bright and intense like lightnings and he wasn’t even a little bit scared of the elements raging around him. He was in awe. All because of three little words.</p><p>In his life, John only ever said those words to three people. But saying them to Hosea, Dutch and Susan was different. It wasn’t the same kind of love. The words were the same but the meaning behind them wasn’t and John could feel it when the ‘I love you’ finally slipped from his lips. He felt the difference in every fiber of his body, how even saying it brought him joy that only grew stronger when Arthur smiled at him like no other time before.</p><p>John wanted to say it again today, every day, for the rest of their life and feel the thrill of it every time. Be graced by Arthur’s joyous smile each time like the first. It was probably impossible to be this excited every time, but who could stop John from trying and finding it out himself? There was nothing he could lose by this, he could only gain more, if this was even possible. Because he already felt like he had everything he ever wanted and couldn’t possibly take more.</p><p>For the first time in his life, John Marston felt completely content with his life and he was loving it.</p><p>Smiling, John looked up at Arthur’s tense face, the merman still deep in his sleep. John wondered what he was dreaming about, he had to be dreaming, because the eyes were moving under his human eyelids like he was somewhere else, living things that weren’t happening outside his head.</p><p>John’s smile turned into a grin as he shifted to sit on the merman’s hips. Arthur’s hand fell from around his waist and he groaned in his sleep quietly but didn’t wake up. John had no idea what Arthur was dreaming about but he certainly could help him dream of something nice if he already wasn’t.</p><p>He started slow, just rubbing his hands up and down the merman’s strong chest and belly. Just the feeling of those muscles under his fingertips got him semi hard in a matter of seconds. He was glad he slept naked, standing up from the body under him to undress would be annoying now that he found a comfortable position, just above the slit where the merman’s cock was, still sheathed inside but hopefully John could make it show up soon.</p><p>Arthur moaned in his rough, sleepy voice when John tugged at his nipples and rolled them between his fingers. Pleased with himself, John continued playing with the hardening buds till they were perfect to suck. Which he did, leaning down to take one in his mouth.</p><p>Arthur’s hips twitched while he released another groan, surprisingly still asleep. John sucked harder, rubbing at another nipple, pulling all sort of quiet gasps from the merman’s mouth. John glanced up at him, noticing his parted lips through which he breathed with quick puffs of air. They trembled, opening just slightly wider when John gently grazed the nipple in his mouth with teeth. It was such a tempting sight, he almost climbed up to kiss the merman to wake him up that way. But then Arthur jerked his hips up again and this time John felt a slick length rubbing against his ass.</p><p>He moaned at the feeling and instead of going up, he went down and looked at the merman’s cock poking out from the slit. It wasn't out all the way but John wasn’t against helping it. He lowered himself again and gave it a shy lick, pulling away instantly when Arthur pushed his hips up with a moan, chasing John’s warm tongue.</p><p>John chuckled and went down again, pressing the merman’s hips to the ground as he kissed his cock. His lips quickly got wet from the natural slick that tasted a bit salty and smelled like the ocean, just like the rest of Arthur. John took a deep breath of that smell as he kissed his way down the slick member, all the way to the slit. He dipped his tongue inside and it got him a reaction right away.</p><p>Arthur bucked up and gave out a surprised gasp. John felt the merman’s hips trembling under his hands so he slipped his tongue inside again, feeling the rest of the cock’s length hidden there. With jaw open wide, he licked inside, feeling the moment when more of the hard member slid out.</p><p>Holding Arthur’s hips with one hand, he grabbed the merman’s cock with the other and stroked it while his tongue teased the slit still. It was tight inside, there was not much space for anything but Arthur’s dick, but John wondered anyway how it would feel to fuck the merman like that, with the cock still inside to rub against.</p><p>His own cock twitched at the thought and John could feel a droplet of precum forming at the head. Not in danger of choking right now, he let go of Arthur’s hips and positioned himself more steadily, legs spread wide and chest resting against the strong tail so he could reach his own leaking member.</p><p>He groaned at his touch and how much pleasure it brought him. Matching the moves of both of his hands, he started stroking both of them. It was amazing that Arthur still didn’t wake up, how much of a deep sleeper was he? John would be up in an instant, probably shooting his load by now.</p><p>Oh well, he wasn’t complaining. In fact, he hoped Arthur was going last for a while.</p><p>John got back to a more comfortable position and held the merman down again as he took his cock into his mouth. This wasn't the first time he sucked Arthur, nor it was the first dick he ever sucked, but it was definitely the longest so he didn’t just take it down his throat right away, giving himself some time to adjust first. He licked the organ in his mouth and sucked on it while he bobbed his head in a steady rhythm, the merman trembling and gasping under him beautifully. John wished he could draw better because this was definitely a sight he wanted to immortalize on the paper.</p><p>John didn’t want to make Arthur cum yet, so he tried not to be too good with his ministrations and kept a lazy rhythm that was driving the merman crazy but never bringing him to the edge. Whenever he felt the cock in his mouth twitch with the approaching release, John was squeezing the base and slowing down to just gentle licks on the whole lengths, which was making Arthur whimper in frustration.</p><p>Twirling the tongue around the cock’s head and lapping at the precum there, John kept his eyes on the merman as he reached for the gun oil that was left on the blanket after last night. He would have to buy something better, a salve or something similar, he needed the oil for his guns, not for fucking, but this had to do for now.</p><p>He grabbed and opened it, not caring that some of the oil dripped from his fingers on the blanket that Arthur started tearing with his claws when John took him almost all the way down, his throat contracting around the length. He nearly choked on it, he was distracted and let his grip on Arthur’s hip weaken, allowing the merman to shoot them up.</p><p>Tears gathered in John’s eyes and he felt like throwing up for a second when the merman’s cock reached so deep he was sure he would be able to feel it under his hand if he brought it to his throat. He ignored his curiosity and pulled back to cough and take a deep breath. Arthur bucked under him, missing the warmth and the heat of his mouth.</p><p>John watched him helpless, the desire in him building up at the sight of desperation of the still sleeping merman.</p><p>“Not for long,” he whispered as he bent down and took that delicious cock in his mouth again, keeping it from choking him with one hand while fingers of the other circled the rim of his hole before sinking in.</p><p>John sighed in pleasure, stretching easily to accommodate the penetration. He cleaned himself after last night but he was still very much relaxed and ready to take Arthur again. Maybe he didn’t even need the gun oil but he didn’t want to risk injuries there when he had a bank robbery to plan.</p><p>Not wanting to think about that right now, he pushed his fingers deeper, all the way to the knuckles. It didn’t burn or hurt, there was only pleasure swirling in his belly as he fingered himself quickly, moaning around the pulsing cock in his mouth. He had a hard time to bob his head and fuck himself at the same time, always losing one of the rhythms, so he only focused on stretching himself while he kept Arthur’s cock warm, the merman thrusting up into him lazily, sighing with pleasure from time to time. Only when his movement became more urgent, John pulled back and pulled out his fingers, quickly positioning himself above the merman.</p><p>“Fill me up, darlin’, come on,” he murmured to the merman as he placed the head of Arthur’s cock against his slick hole.</p><p>Arthur didn’t need more encouragement, if he even heard it. The moment he felt a tight space enveloping the head of his member, he bucked his hips wildly, sinking deeper into John’s hole.</p><p>John helped him by sinking down, meeting his eager thrusts with moans. The feeling of Arthur sinking inside already became John’s favorite sensation and in that position, his cock reached even deeper than last night. John almost felt like he wasn't going to take it whole this time but then he felt the scales under his ass and he sighed with content. “God, you’re so deep, Art,” he groaned, rolling his hips a little. The cock inside him twitched. Arthur tried to fuck into him, but with John’s entire weight on him, he couldn’t do much but rut against his ass. “I’ve got you, darlin’,” John assured and started moving slowly, Arthur’s dick following instantly.</p><p>John moaned when it slid inside again and then pulled out slightly, stroking his walls just right. But it was even better when he snapped his hips back down, taking the entire length in one go. John threw his head back with another moan before starting a rhythm that had him bouncing up and down on Arthur’s cock, with the merman never letting him do all the work.</p><p>He watched Arthur’s face twisted in pleasure, captivated by the beauty it was right now. The merman looked even more beautiful like that than usual, mouth open slack in constant cacophony of pants and moans, brows furrowed. And when he finally fluttered open his eyes, first showing the deep black and then bright blue, now fogged both by pleasure and sleep, John gasped at the sight and fucked himself harder on the cock inside him.</p><p>Arthur’s body stilled under him as he looked up, confused, blinking away the sleep but not being able to blink away the pleasure. “John,” he rasped and the way he said John’s name in that moment sent a shiver down his spine, shaking him almost to the core. “Wha-”</p><p>“Go back to sleep if you want, darlin’,” John told him, a little out of breath. “I’m just enjoying myself.”</p><p>Arthur’s brain finally kicked in. He rested his head back on the blanket with a groan and snapped his hips up, just at the right moment when John was coming down. Their moans mixed together, echoing from the wall of the cliff they were under. </p><p>“I’m certainly enjoying you too,” he said, picking up the rhythm his body lost when he woke up. “What a nice way to wake up.”</p><p>“Yeah?” John asked smugly and slowed down to hover over his lover. Arthur opened his eyes and looked up at him, just inches from his face, their hips moving slowly to keep the pleasure going and traveling in every vein of their bodies. “Want me to do this every morning?”</p><p>“Please do,” Arthur groaned, no doubt because John squeezed his cock just right. “I’ll do that too if you want me.”</p><p>John put his lips on Arthur’s neck, kissing the hidden, sensitive  gills there. Arthur's breath hitched in his chest, under John’s palms where he was supporting himself from collapsing on him completely. “How would you wake me up, Arthur?”</p><p>He purred the merman’s name, knowing what effect it would have on him. He smiled when the merman entered him with a hard snap.</p><p>“Kiss all over your body,” Arthur started talking, panting out every word. “I’ll keep my teeth away to not wake you up too early.”</p><p>John hummed in approval, licking a long stripe from Arthur’s collarbone to his ear he bite playfully. “Keep talking,” he coaxed him, Arthur’s voice, still heavy with sleep, was doing all sorts of nice things to his body and he wanted to hear it more.</p><p>The merman grunted before continuing. “Would play with your nipples,” he panted out and groaned again when John squeezed the bud on his chest in response.</p><p>“Like I played with yours?” he asked teasingly.</p><p>“That wasn't a dream?” Arthur asked, puzzled.</p><p>John chuckled and moved to look at him. “It was all me,” he revealed and leaned down to kiss those lips that were tempting him all morning. Arthur opened his mouth instantly, inviting him and John gladly slid his tongue inside as their hips continued rolling against one another, slowly building the pressure in their bodies. “You liked it?” he asked after parting their lips again, glistening with saliva.</p><p>Arthur released the blanket he was grasping this whole time and placed his palms on the swell of John’s ass. “I think you can feel if I liked it,” he noticed with a smile and thrusted up at the same time as he pulled John down, holding him there for a moment and making him moan with a broken voice. “Would you like if I woke you up by fucking you with my tongue? Licking you clean from all the cum I would leave in you the evening before?”</p><p>Shuddering, John sat back up, impaling himself on Arthur’s cock completely before rising and doing it again, returning to the previous rhythm. “Fuck, Art,” he gasped. “Would love that so much.”</p><p>Now he had an even better reason to find something else for stretching himself. He wondered if he could find something slick and tasty at the same time so Arthur could lick him clean like he was saying he would.</p><p>The merman’s hands slipped onto his thighs, covering the scars left by a wolf on the right one. He wasn’t helping John bounce, he just rested his hands there, feeling the thighs shiver. John felt them on his skin as if they were burning and he had no intention of moving away from them.</p><p>“I’m close,” the merman informed him with a whine, his thrust becoming more erratic as he said so, fingers gripping John tighter.</p><p>“Me too.” John lifted his hand and put it on his cock, stroking it quickly. “Cum, sunshine,” he told the merman, looking him straight in the eyes. Arthur looked back, watching with adoration and amazement how John bounced in his lap. “Let go,” he breathed out, following it with a moan. “Let me hear that siren song of yours.”</p><p>Arthur broke the eye contact when his eyes rolled back inside his skull as he reached his orgasm after John’s words, moaning with a broken, high pitched voice.   </p><p>John choked on his own breath when he felt the merman’s warm seed filling him, watched him being taken by pleasure. Heard his beautiful cry of ecstasy. He stilled with his ass all the way down, impaled fully, and brought himself to orgasm by stroking his cock.</p><p>It wasn’t as strong as the one last night, but it still shook his body as he groaned, spurting his own cum on Arthur’s abdomen. He milked his cock till it gave the last weak twitch and started softening in his hand. He let go of it then and climbed off Arthur who watched him already, slowly recovering in his post orgasm bliss.</p><p>John collapsed on the blanket next to him with a constant smile that Arthur quickly returned. “Do humans always wake up like that?”</p><p>John chuckled, turning onto his side and getting back to the position he woke up in, putting his head on the merman’s shoulder and he stared at him lovingly. Arthur’s eyes were still filled with sleep, even more so than while John rode him. Orgasm made him sleepy and he couldn’t say he didn’t feel the same. He would very much like to be back to sleep after that.</p><p>“I don’t know,” he replied, laying a hand over Arthur’s heart that was still beating fast.</p><p>“If they don’t, they’re missing a lot,” Arthur noticed with a smile and looked down at his belly where John’s cum was cooling off. The merman picked some on his fingers and licked it. John groaned, hiding his face in his shoulder. “What?”</p><p>“You want to get me hard again?” he murmured into the cold skin.</p><p>Arthur’s body shook as he let out a short laugh. “Would you complain?”</p><p>John looked at him then. “No,” he admitted and grabbed Arthur’s wrist, bringing his cum coated hand to his lips. He closed his eyes and let out a long moan as he licked it clean from his own spent, aware of Arthur’s eyes watching him. “There, all clean,” he said, giving one of the claws a final lick, shuddering when it scratched his tongue.</p><p>“Does that mean I got to clean you too?” Arthur asked suggestively, already turning John onto his back and crawling between his legs.</p><p>“Would be nice,” he admitted, spreading his thighs to make Arthur more comfortable. “Your cum is a pain in the ass. Literally.” He cackled at his own joke while Arthur stared at him, unimpressed. “Sorry.” He didn’t feel sorry at all.</p><p>“You should be ashamed of yourself,” Arthur noticed and leaned down, taking John’s soft cock into his mouth to clean it too.</p><p>John whimpered, oversensitive a bit. “I’m not,” he admitted, propped on his forearms to watch Arthur between his legs. “You sure you want to do this? I used the gun oil again.”</p><p>Arthur released his cock, a small droplet of cum in the corner of his lips that he quickly licked off. If John was a teenager again, he would’ve no doubt had another orgasm just like that. “It can’t be that bad,” he stated and slipped his hands under John’s ass, lifting it slightly to get to his hole. He licked across it where there was only oil, all the cum deeper inside. It was so thick it was practically impossible for it to slip out on its own, it had to be scooped out. Arthur told him it was that way so it couldn’t dissolve into the water that quickly.  </p><p>One lick was enough to throw him off and John laughed at the disgusted expression on his face. “Tasty?” he teased as Arthur flicked his tongue like a cat that tasted something bad.</p><p>“Shut up,” he growled.</p><p>John didn’t, he laughed again till Arthur plopped down on him and made him stop. “Oof!” he gasped, the merman settling comfortably on his chest, his tail tangled with John’s legs. “Comfy?”</p><p>“Very,” the merman confirmed with a sigh, nuzzling into John’s neck. “Love you.”</p><p>John’s heart fluttered like a flock of birds. He smiled fondly at the merman in his arms that he wrapped around him and nuzzled into him as well, inhaling the scent of the ocean and sex that clung to both of their bodies. “I love you too.”</p><p>Arthur hugged him close in response and they laid like that for a moment, cuddled together just like they liked best, almost falling back to sleep. They probably would’ve if some seagulls didn’t start to fight over something just outside the bay, making so much noise Arthur and John groaned simultaneously in irritation at that.</p><p>“We should clean ourselves, especially me, since you refused to clean me,” John suggested, using an offended tone at the end. “You’re such a sensitive princess, you know that?”</p><p>“Oh yeah? Want to clean my dick then? It’s covered in that nasty oil of yours too.”</p><p>John scrunched his nose. “No thank you,” he said and released Arthur, letting the merman drop on the sand. John sat up and patted Arthur on the tail where he believed his ass should be if he was a human. “Let’s go to the water.”</p><p>“And to think you was so scared of it at first,” Arthur chuckled, following John to the bay but quickly passing him.  </p><p>“Well, water isn’t that bad,” he decided, stepping into it as they spoke. It was pleasantly cool against his warm skin. “There are some nice things in it.”</p><p>“Oh yeah?” Arthur looked back over his shoulder at John, his eyes sparkling. “Like what?”</p><p>John smirked. “I liked the whale,” he said, barely stopping himself from laughing when Arthur huffed before entering the deep water and swimming to the rocks. John had no other choice but to follow on foot and slower.</p><p>“What else?” Arthur asked, having already reached the rock belt. He waited for John there.</p><p>“Shark wasn’t as bad as I thought,” John continued, sensing the growing irritation coming from the merman.</p><p>“And?” the merman probed further. He climbed the rocks and sat on one of them, facing John.</p><p>John joined him shortly after and placed his hands on each side of the merman, his belly touching the tail hanging into the water. “I liked the turtle,” he said in a low voice and bounced off the ground while using his hands to lift his body onto Arthur’s lap. The merman’s arms circled his waist right away, keeping John from falling back down when he lost his balance.</p><p>“Oh, just that then?” Arthur mocked, bringing his face closer. “Whale, shark and a turtle. Nothing better in the ocean for you.”</p><p>“What?” he asked innocently. He lifted his hand to Arthur’s face, brushing his cheek and tangling his fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. He could see goosebumps appearing on Arthur’s shoulders shortly after. “Did I forget about something?” John brought their lips to a short, chaste kiss and grinned. “Or someone?”</p><p>“I don’t know, let’s check,” Arthur suggested and leaned back, falling into the water and taking laughing John with him.</p><p>It was a bad idea to laugh when he should’ve taken a deep breath. Water flooded his mouth and rushed down his throat. He panicked instantly and clawed desperately at Arthur who was already on his way to the surface. The merman laughed loudly while John clung to him and coughed out water from his lungs, feeling like dying. When he was done and regained enough strength, he punched still laughing Arthur in the arm.</p><p>“You’re such an asshole,” he accused the merman, without any heat behind his words.</p><p>Arthur’s laugh turned into a fond chuckle. “I didn’t tell you to laugh,” he reminded John, holding him close.</p><p>John’s shoulders shook as he suppressed another laugh, his throat already too sore after having a dick so deep in it and coughing off water to laugh again. “You’re still an asshole,” he repeated, wrapping his arms around Arthur’s neck and looking at him. “And I love you,” he admitted, watching how Arthur's own eyes became soft. “You’re not only the best thing the ocean has to offer, you’re the best thing that happened to me.”</p><p>Arthur hummed, his eyes glistening a bit for John before he shyly looked away. “You’re such a sweet man, John Marston,” he said, turning his gaze to John again and placing a quick kiss on his lips that curled into an easy smile. “I love you too.”</p><p>They kissed once more as Arthur took them underwater again.</p><p>Half an hour later they were back on the shore and eating breakfast, some fish for John and some dead sea lion for Arthur. John made him cook it, too paranoid after Hosea’s revelation about Bessie to let him eat it raw. Maybe it wasn’t a human, but who knows what sickness that seal was carrying.</p><p>“It isn’t so bad cooked,” the merman admitted after ripping a chunk of meat with his fangs and practically swallowing it in one go. “Different.”</p><p>“Get used to it, that’s the only meat you’ll be eating from now on,” John said to him with his mouth full.</p><p>Arthur rolled his eyes at him but didn’t argue. “You’re going back to camp?”</p><p>John nodded. “Only for a moment.” John dropped the fish on the plate to pick up some bread, tearing it to pieces. He shared some with Arthur. “I want to let Old Boy eat and drink, then I’m going to town to plan the robbery.”</p><p>The sole thought of it was making him want to jump into the water and never swim back.</p><p>Arthur looked at him, worried. “You sure you want to do this?” He extended his hand and John quickly took it in his, glad for comfort.</p><p>“I’m sure,” he assured with a weak smile. “I’ve done this already, I know how to get out alive. And once I prove to Dutch that I'm not a rat, I won’t be leaving any bad blood between us.”</p><p>He wanted to have an open door left in case he and Arthur wouldn’t work out. Not that he thought they wouldn’t. But beside that, he just didn’t want the man that was like a father to him to continue living and possibly die thinking that John betrayed him. John could never be fully at peace knowing that. That all those years he was loyal were thrown away because of a couple of weeks. He wanted their goodbye to reflect their relationship through the years, not be full of hatred and betrayal.   </p><p>“Okay.” John could hear that Arthur wasn’t convinced about this plan but most of all, he was simply worried. “I trust you.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t do that if I didn’t have to,” he assured the merman. “It’s the last thing I want to do actually.”</p><p>Arthur smiled at him sadly. “I know.”</p><p>They finished their breakfast in silence, only speaking while saying goodbye for the day. They said ‘I love you’ to each other again and John promised to be back tomorrow before the heist he was going to commit as fast as possible. He wasn’t going to wait any longer, it needed to happen the next day.</p><p>Once he arrived at the camp, he noticed right away that something was wrong, mainly because there was a very angry looking Micah on guard duty. “I should shoot you on the spot, you snake,” he hissed like he was the snake himself.</p><p>“Don’t talk to me,” John told him and passed him without any other word, entering the horses' pasture.</p><p>It didn’t take long before Dutch arrived, with other people following him, including Hosea telling him to let it go.</p><p>“Where was you, boy?” he asked in a demanding voice.</p><p>John slowly dismounted, looking at Dutch all this time. “With my woman,” he answered without hesitation and handed the reins to Kieran who appeared next to him. The boy took Old Boy away to take care of him.</p><p>“Oh, that’s lovely,” Dutch mocked with a chuckle and turned to look at everyone but no one but him was laughing. The rest of the gang had grim expressions on their faces, except those people that knew John’s secret and knew he was innocent.</p><p>Lenny looked at him and smiled apologetically, but John couldn’t smile back, not when Dutch’s eyes were piercing him.</p><p>“What happened this time?” John asked tiredly.</p><p>“Don’t act like you don’t know,” Micah spoke again, having followed him from the guarding post.</p><p>John glared at him. “I do not know,” he said sternly, taking a step towards the man. Micah kept his stance and gripped the repeater in his hands tighter, his finger twitching near the trigger. “I was kinda busy making my lady very happy.” John reached for his bandana and showed that love bites that covered his neck due to Arthur’s courtesy. </p><p>Micah huffed in annoyance, someone from the gang behind John, or rather a couple of people, snorted or chuckled at the blunt explanation.</p><p>“I could pay a whore to put them on me too,” the older man snickered.</p><p>“I can believe that, that’s the only way anyone will lay with you, you nasty, piece of…”</p><p>“Enough!” John and Micah both turned to Dutch who glared at the two of them but eventually his eyes settled only on John. “I asked where was you, boy?”</p><p>“And I told you.”</p><p>“Where else was you?”</p><p>“What do you mean where else was I? I spent all day with my woman, ask Hosea, he rode with me and even stayed for a while with both of us.”</p><p>“I told you already where he was, Dutch,” Hosea said, irritated. “Now leave the boy alone and focus on the actual problem which is the law knowing where we’re going to strike every time.”</p><p>“What happened?” John asked, looking over everyone. Not everyone gathered to witness Dutch performing a lynch but it seemed that nobody was missing or injured.</p><p>“Karen and Sean were surprised when pulling off some scam in one of the homesteads,” Dutch explained, his eyes and tone of voice already telling John he was being judged. “The law was waiting for them. This wasn't an accident.”</p><p>“So it seems,” John agreed, looking at Micah with the corner of his eye. “But I wasn’t the one who told anyone. I didn’t even know about this job.”</p><p>“Sean was telling everyone in camp about this.”</p><p>“I don’t know if you noticed, Dutch, but I ain’t often in the camp, only to sleep.”</p><p>Dutch narrowed his eyes at him. “Watch your mouth, boy.” John glared at him. “If you’re so innocent, why haven’t I met your mysterious girl yet?”</p><p>“Because there is no need to,” John answered, gritting his teeth in annoyance. Why Dutch couldn’t just trust him? “You should believe me without knowing her.”</p><p>“And you shouldn’t be afraid of showing her to me.”</p><p>“This has nothing to do with her,” he growled. “I don’t want to involve her in this gang.”</p><p>“Who says anything about being involved?” Micah asked. “We don’t need another useless girl in our camp.”</p><p>“Micah,” Dutch warned him.</p><p>“Who do you call useless, you sack of shit?” Karen spat with anger. Mary-Beth and Tilly held her so she wouldn’t get closer to Micah to punch him. He would probably slap her back and much harder. </p><p>Micah raised his hand in mocking surrender. “I apologize to the lovely lady,” he chuckled. “You clearly do a lot of work around here with all the other girls. We would’ve died without all of you.”</p><p>“Enough Mr. Bell,” Susan stepped in. “You would drown in your own shit without those girls, show them some respect.”</p><p>“I always do, Susan.” John fought the need to punch that smug bastard but that wouldn’t do him no good. So he turned to Dutch, who didn’t pay much attention to the convo and just stared at him.</p><p>“So?”</p><p>“I ain’t bringing her here, Dutch,” John refused.</p><p>“That’s fine,” Dutch assured with a fake politeness that was always making John’s skin crawl, even when it wasn’t aimed at him. Now it felt even worse. “I can visit her with you.”</p><p>“I don’t want you to know where she lives.”</p><p>“Don’t you trust me, John?” Was this mocking? “It pains me to hear that.”</p><p>“Tell me about it.”</p><p>They eyed each other for a moment, the atmosphere so tense that a couple of people walked away from the scene, not willing to take part in what could basically be called a stand out.</p><p>“We can meet on neutral ground,” Dutch suggested next. “Your girl will be safe and I can finally meet her, see if she’s trustworthy.”</p><p>“She is.”</p><p>“Why are you so defensive, about it, Scar Face?” Micah interrupted them again with a cruel smirk. “Afraid she will ditch you after she sees a real man that is Dutch?”</p><p>“Doesn’t your back hurt from leaning down so low to lick Dutch’s boots, Micah?” John snarled, almost earning the butt of the gun to the face but he moved away in time.</p><p>“I show some respect to our leader, unlike you.” John snorted. “What? Have something more to say?”</p><p>“Not to you,” he responded and turned to Dutch once again. “You’re not meeting my lover, Dutch.”</p><p>“Why?” he insisted. “I’m not going to hurt her. Or scare her. And if we meet outside of her house and our camp, she’ll be perfectly safe if you’re fearing one of the boys following her. Which I know they won’t. They’re good people.”</p><p>John knew that, if Arthur really was a woman, he wouldn’t be afraid to introduce her, no one would hurt her. Maybe except Micah.</p><p>“So what is it that’s stopping you, really?” Dutch asked again, pressing further and cornering John, forcing him to some kind of answer that couldn’t just be a simple ‘because’. “If she’s real, trustworthy and I have nothing to be afraid of, then why are you? Why can’t we meet her?”</p><p>Hosea stepped in. “Dutch, leave him alone. He doesn’t have to explain himself, maybe she doesn’t want to meet us, you should respect both of their decisions.”</p><p>Dutch turned to his longest friend. “But why doesn't she want to meet us? What is she hiding?”</p><p>“I don’t remember you asking me the same questions when I was with Bessie and you didn’t know her either,” Hosea reminded him. “Let. It. Go.”</p><p>Dutch didn’t. He stepped closer to John, looking down at him and John hated himself for feeling uncomfortable. “Why can't we meet your girl, John?”</p><p>John gulped, clenched his fists and looked up at Dutch, mustering as much confidence he could find in him in that moment. “She’s crippled.”</p><p>Dutch blinked at him, surprised and John could feel others staring at him as well. He hated it and he wanted to hide in his tent but that wasn’t an option. So he stood in place, exposed to looks of pity from some people and admirations from others, mostly from girls.</p><p>“Crippled?” Dutch repeated and John nodded.</p><p>Suddenly, Sean laughed. “I’m not surprised, Marston, honestly. No one in the right sense would fall in love with your face now unless they had no chance at finding someone either.”</p><p>John didn’t care about the stupid, unfunny joke, it didn’t even hurt(maybe a little). He didn’t even have to shut the younger man up, Javier did it for him, elbowing Sean in the stomach.</p><p>“She can’t meet you here, and she won’t meet you on the neutral ground,” John explained to Dutch further. “And because I don’t want you to know where she lives, I won’t bring you to her either.”</p><p>“Doesn't she have a wagon she can ride on?” Micah asked. “Or those chairs with wheels?”</p><p>“I’m not going to make her suffer through the ride just so you can finally believe me,” John said through gritted teeth. “I was with her the whole day and night, I didn’t know about Sean and Karen’s scam and I’m sorry they almost died.” Karen smiled at him, grateful. Sean was still too busy rubbing at his bruise Javier gave him. John moved his eyes away from them and looked back at the leader. “I ain’t no rat, Dutch.”</p><p>The older man didn’t say anything, he didn’t look even slightly remorseful. This changed nothing.</p><p>John didn’t waste time saddling up Old Boy again and riding off on him to town. He was tired of never knowing what new accusation would wait for him after returning to camp from Arthur’s. It was time to end this.</p><p>Despite being in a hurry, John did everything to not bring the attention to himself. He didn’t stop near the bank and took some time to walk around the town first to look like he was on a regular visit. He bought some cigarettes, premium ones, hoping to find a horse card inside to give to Arthur, knowing that the merman would love it; and a bright, red neckerchief that would look good with some of his new clothes he wore to impress his lover.  </p><p>Shopping brought him a bit of comfort, he smiled at the reflection in the mirror, already not being able to wait to show Arthur the new addition to his wardrobe. Feeling quite attractive, he left the store and finally started his observation of the bank.</p><p>He checked the back first, noticing some door there while he was pissing near the fence to not look suspicious. No one was guarding it and there was no house nearby which residents could spot him through the window while robbing the place from this side.</p><p>But walking through the back wasn’t the best way to rob a bank. But it was a good way to escape it. There was plenty of room to leave the horses for the escape.</p><p>Front of the building was next. It had windows but like in cases of most of the banks, they were with bars and with blinds shut. Double door was leading inside, perfect for two men to enter at once. John observed it all from the other side of the street, leaning against the railing of some house and whittled with a cig in his mouth to appear busy, only looking at the bank from under the brim of his hat.</p><p>No one paid him any attention and he could plan the entire heist in peace. Ideally, he would enter the bank as well to see how many guards were inside but he had no reason to go inside and didn’t want to raise any suspicions, especially after the local sheriff almost caught some of the gang members and everyone no doubt knew there were a bunch of outlaws running around.   </p><p>So he stayed outside, wishing there was a saloon across from the bank, then he could sit by the window, drink, eat, maybe play some poker or dice while waiting for the bank to close and see how many guards worked there.</p><p>No matter, he could do this even without knowing the layout inside. He planned harder jobs than some small town bank and he never failed too badly. This was going to be a success and he was going to get back to Arthur in one piece.</p><p>After an hour of watching the bank and analyzing every possible outcome he could come up with to form the perfect plan, John decided to visit the saloon for a short drink before returning to the camp and recruiting people for the job. If anyone still trusted him. He didn’t want only Charles, Sadie and Lenny, Dutch would think it’s suspicious.</p><p>To be honest, he didn’t want to return to camp at all, he would rather go back to the bay, spend the time before the heist on making love to Arthur again, not caring about anyone or anything but their shared pleasure. But he didn’t want to look too clingy and besides, he really needed to plan this thing as best as possible, already knowing who was going to join him and what jobs to give them rather than coming with them on the spot after arriving at the bank. There was no place for mistakes.  </p><p>It was already dinner time, so John ordered some food as well. Since it was a town at the shore, they sold mostly fish. John was fine with it, he was used to that. He sat down by the window, munching on his dinner and drinking a beer to that, not in a hurry to go back. He could see the bank a bit from his seat so he decided to stay here longer and wait for guards after all.</p><p>He was at his third beer in four hours and sketching in his journal to pass the time till closing time when the conversation at the bar caught his attention. Hosea taught him to always listen, even while spacing out. The good outlaw is always alert to their surroundings, ready to catch a useful piece of information or the glimpse of a valuable item just barely sticking out from someone’s pocket.</p><p>He wasn't paying attention, but he listened and when the word ‘moonshine’ reached his ear, he momentarily tuned down everything happening around but that one conversation happening at the bar between the barkeeper and one of the patrons.</p><p>“I told you ‘no’,” the man behind the bar hissed, trying to be quiet but failing. He looked around frantically but didn’t notice John listening, convinced John was still focused on his journal. John simply doodled next to the new drawing of Arthur he was making, eyes on the page in front of him, only occasionally turning to the side to watch the bar.</p><p>“But, dad…”</p><p>Oh, a father and a son.</p><p>“No,” the father said sternly. “Your brothers are enough, I don’t need another gunman.”</p><p>“I can help!”</p><p>“Quiet!” the father hissed again. “That’s exactly why I don’t want you to help, you don’t fit the job and this is a delicate matter.”</p><p>“Let me at least help with the mixing.”</p><p>“No. And stop bothering me about it here, we’ll talk at home.”</p><p>“I just want to help.”</p><p>“I know. But transport is dangerous and you know nothing about making moonshine.”</p><p>“You could teach me.”</p><p>“I will, but not now. Now go back to your mother.”</p><p>“Fine.”</p><p>John watched the kid leave the saloon and waited a few more minutes before following and walking around the building. With this, he didn’t need to be as careful as with the bank so he didn’t try to hide. But he gladly took the piss again while checking the back of the saloon and the door to the basement, right next to the back door.    </p><p>John buttoned his pants and walked closer, looking around if anyone was nearby. He was alone. He examined the lock, easy to pick on, just a few seconds for his skilled finger. He got on his hands and knees next, lowering his head closer to the crack under the door. It was faint but he smelled moonshine just fine. He wouldn't mistake that smell with anything.</p><p>“Bullseye,” he whispered to himself and grinned as he jumped back to his feet, sure that some big money was waiting downstairs.</p><p>This was even better than the bank, less money – hopefully still enough to satisfy Dutch – but safer, he would only have barman’s sons to worry about and he was sure they were no real danger. There was also a lesser risk of the law reacting quickly, if at all. If no one would shoot, there was even a chance to leave unnoticed by anyone, even people running the business, and John preferred that from robbing a bank that was bound to get everyone’s attention, with a big risk of someone catching the details of his ugly mug. People in the bank would be more likely to share clues about their looks than the owner of an illegal business who needed to cover his own ass and wouldn’t go to report the robbery. Thankfully, because John didn’t want to move away with Arthur to find another town on the shore to have a place to do shopping for himself and Old Boy just because someone would decide to be a good citizen and mention the scar over his eye.  </p><p>He should just wear a hood but he wasn’t the enthusiast of this type of cover. Too blocking for the eyes and for a gunslinger it was like replacing a good gun with some rusty old thing. His voice was too recognizable for this to work anyway and he couldn’t act mute the whole job.  </p><p>Of course there was still a chance of someone discovering his score since they apparently had a rat in the gang. John had to agree with Dutch, that was no accident that once again the law knew about one of their jobs. Unless they really just weren't careful.</p><p>Either way, he still felt more comfortable with the moonshine job. The sheriff, even tipped about John’s score, would be more interested with the moonshine business and the man running it right under his nose than with John and his people escaping with money. Why start a chase when there would be a man to arrest on the spot?</p><p>Unless the sheriff was involved in it as well, but he doubted it.</p><p>Excited, John returned to Old Boy and galloped back to the camp to gather the crew. He was definitely going to take Lenny, the kid already offered and he was good at his job, ambitious.</p><p>He was still thinking which two other gunmen he would bring with them for the job when he arrived. The whole gang was gathered around the fires, as if waiting for his announcement. John jumped off Old Boy’s back and walked to one of the crates standing around the poker table. He stepped on it, getting everyone’s attention before he even started speaking.</p><p>“Who wants to rob a moonshine business with me?!” he shouted for the whole camp to hear, spreading his arms wide in invitation. The gang members shared looks between each other, curios but hesitant. John looked at Dutch, noticing him in his tent, watching John as well, waiting for how the situation was going to unfold. No one volunteered but John knew how to convince them. He dropped one hand slack and put the other on his hip, smirking slyly. “Unless you’re afraid I’m leading you into a trap.”</p><p>Now it was the matter of honor, John saw determination flashing through every gunman’s eyes but it wasn’t a gunman that spoke first. It was a gunwoman.</p><p>“I’m in,” Sadie said with a smirk. John smirked back and nodded at her.</p><p>“Me too,” Lenny jumped in, literally, he jumped from the log he was sitting on.</p><p>“No,” Dutch refused, walking closer to everyone. John eyed him, confused. “One John’s ally is enough.”</p><p>“I ain’t no ally, I'm a friend,” Sadie protested.</p><p>“Call it whatever you like, Mrs. Adler, you’re one of few people that was fortunate enough to meet John’s lady, you’re clearly on his side,” Dutch explained calmly. Just like John expected, he wasn’t going to accept the crew containing only John’s close friends. Lenny sat back down, disappointed and putting a little. “I want someone less obvious on the job.”</p><p>“Then I’ll gladly join,” Micah offered, sitting on the side with Javier, competing in who would end with less nicks on their fingers from playing five fingers. “To see The Great John Marston in action again. Maybe you won’t get me killed. Or yourself when you get shot stupidly again and I'll have to save you again.”</p><p>John ignored the jab.</p><p>“I’ll go too,” Bill said.</p><p>John grimaced. Not the best man for this work but he would manage. “Get ready,” he informed everyone and jumped off the crate. “We ride tomorrow before midnight.”</p><p>He waited for everyone to nod before retreating to his tent to sleep.</p><p>He needed to get ready as well, he couldn’t screw up this job.</p><p>He had a lover to come back to.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next chapter, some moonshine business is going to get robbed. Stay tuned 👀</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. No Son Of Yours</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>30th chapter! We're getting close to the end, folks! Just around 5 more chapters left I think! When I started I hadn’t expected this story to be so long or liked so much. Thank you all who comment, leave kudos or just read it, I love you all!</p><p>The tittle of this chapter is a changed title of Genesis song No Son Of Mine. Just seemed fitting.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John slept well that night considering how nervous he was. Maybe he was too experienced to let it affect him, he wasn’t sixteen anymore, he robbed enough people to know what to expect and how to suppress fear of failure. So when the morning came, he was well rested and prepared for the last gang job of his life. Just this one score and he would be done. He never thought he would retire so young. At his age, Dutch was just barely starting, he and Hosea were much older than John and they were still going. He hoped they would stop one day before they would get themselves killed like in Blackwater. That was a close one.</p><p>“So what’s the plan, boss?” Sadie took a seat opposite of him, by the table where John was sitting with the morning coffee and piece of paper. Bill took another crate and sat down with a grunt. The fourth seat remained unoccupied.</p><p>John looked around. “Where is Micah?” He told his crew to meet him now, before he would visit Arthur for the rest of the day. He already couldn’t see Micah then but he thought the older man was just sitting on his own like always. Now that he looked around, he noticed the absence of Baylock.</p><p>Sadie shrugged. “Said he needed to buy supplies in town.”</p><p>John narrowed his eyes. “We have enough ammunition,” he noticed, pointing at the entire wagon designed only to carry their guns and ammo. Like every morning, Strauss was counting everything to make sure there wasn’t too much taken or to know if they needed to do a supply run. John checked it himself after waking up if they had enough ammo and if he didn’t have to go buy more. He didn’t, they had enough for such a small crew that didn’t tend to miss while shooting.</p><p>“Right?” Sadie asked and spat out the tabaco she was chewing. “Kinda suspicious, don’t you think?”</p><p>“Yeah,” he agreed. John didn’t want to point a finger though, not like Micah was doing with him. He wasn’t in the camp that often to know if Micah going to town was a common occurrence or not. But even without it, a trip to town on the day of their robbery? Even a boy like Jack would smell something fishy going on, and he was as naïve as can be. “Was he leaving before other robberies as well?”</p><p>“Hard to tell.” Sadie crossed her arms, irritated that she had nothing on the man. “We were all leaving before each robbery, Micah included, no more than others. But never on the day of the job.”</p><p>He couldn’t really do that any other time, John came up with the job suddenly and ordered it to be done the very next day. Not much time to inform the sheriff of what was going on.</p><p>“Hold on.” Bill raised his hand to stop them. “You trying to tell me Micah is the rat?” he asked, watching them in disbelief and then pointed at John. “I thought it was Marston.”</p><p>“I’m not a rat, Bill, I’m just in love,” he explained. Bill started thinking and John sighed. “We’re not accusing him, alright? We’re just pointing out it’s suspicious of him.”</p><p>“Okay,” the man accepted. “But why would he do something like that? He was attacked too.”</p><p>“I don’t know,” John admitted. He had no idea what Micah would gain selling any of them to the law. It’s been a while since they were in California, Dutch was pretty much forgotten here, so there was no big bounty on his head. And they were going to return to Blackwater at one point to retrieve the money from the heist that was Micah’s idea in the first place. Getting Dutch arrested and killed in some small town didn’t make no sense. And if he wanted them all to go to jail anyway, why play like that? Why not point to the law where the gang was hiding?</p><p>“Listen, Bill, don’t tell Micah about this, okay?” John asked his friend. Bill was dull but he was loyal. Loyal to Dutch. If he would see Micah as a treat to their leader, he would never do anything to put Dutch at risk. So John trusted him to keep that a secret. “It may be nothing or we could be onto something and he may do something stupid if he knows. Like kill us tonight. And who knows what he’s planning, he may go for anyone else in the gang next, or even Dutch.”</p><p>“I won’t tell a thing,” Bill swore seriously. “I don’t even like Micah that much.”</p><p>“Me and you both, buddy,” John agreed with a smile and took a sip of his coffee. “I won’t be waiting for Micah to return, you will just tell him what is the plan, okay?”</p><p>“And what is the plan?” Sadie repeated her first question.</p><p>“The moonshine is in the basement, the entrance is in the back,” John explained, showing them a rough sketch of the building. “As far as I know, there is no entrance from the inside of the saloon so there will be only one door to secure, that’s my job.”</p><p>“You’re not coming in with us?” Bill asked, obviously suspicious.</p><p>John rolled his eyes. “I’ll be in, just by the door, listening. Now.” John flipped the paper, showing all their names written, with their respective jobs next to them. “Like I said, I’ll be by the door, keeping an eye on the uninvited guests, as well as securing our escape. If anyone will be inside, which I doubt there will be, it’s Saturday, there’ll be a lot of people in the saloon, the owner will need every pair of hands to help upstairs so his sons will be absent. But if there will be anyone down there, Micah will take care of them. He keeps an eye on the eventual hostages while you two,” he pointed at Bill and then Sadie. “will take care of the money or any other valuables there.”</p><p>“Can we take some moonshine as well?” Bill asked.</p><p>John snorted. “If you won’t leave anything else behind for it.” They could take some for themselves while they would be at it. If everything would go the right way, they could afford additional weight in the form of moonshine bottles in Bill’s pockets. “If there’ll be no one to watch, Micah can take the money and you take the moonshine.”</p><p>“We could drink it later while celebrating the successful robbery.”</p><p>“Don’t sell the bear skin when you haven’t hunted it yet,” Sadie told him and turned to John. “The plan seems good but anything can go wrong at any time. Any additional plan for that?”</p><p>“We shoot our way out of town.”</p><p>Sadie smirked. “I kinda expected more to be honest,” she admitted.</p><p>“The moment we are noticed, we can say goodbye to sneaking our way out,” John explained to her. He wished there was another way to do this but he couldn’t see it. He doubted even Hosea would come up with something. “There is only one door, we either go out quietly or kick it out of the way, along with those trying to stop us.”</p><p>Sadie chuckled. “Well, at least it’ll be fun,” she noticed and stood up. “See you in town.”</p><p>“See you,” he replied and nodded at Bill before standing up as well to get Old Boy ready.</p><p>An hour later, he was at the bay, kissing with Arthur like there was no tomorrow to distract himself from the job. He probably shouldn’t, he should start focusing on it, but this could be his last chance to enjoy the merman, the touch of his lips on his, his hands on his body. For all he knew, he could die tonight.</p><p>John’s heart stung at that thought.</p><p>No. He couldn’t think like that. He was going to come out of this alive, everything was going to end great, they were going to bring Dutch a lot of money, John would get his trust back, everything would be back to normal. He was confident in his skills and in his crew. They could do this and he would see Arthur tomorrow, feel his lips again, his hands.</p><p>With that, John kissed the merman harder, making him whimper with the intensity of the kiss that he quickly kept up with. The desperation in them both filled John with the will to live like never before. There was nothing he wouldn’t do to keep having this, he would agree to become a merman himself to keep this, to never stop feeling this fire that was strong enough to evaporate the entire ocean if left out of control.</p><p>But it was safely tucked inside them, keeping warm only them, hidden from the rest of the world.</p><p>John was going to come back to that fire tomorrow and never leave it warm embrace ever again. </p><p>Arthur moved onto his back, taking John with him. He landed on the sand, with John on him, never stopping kissing, their hands roaming their bodies. John still had his clothes on, he didn’t really have time to take them off when he and Arthur attacked each other the moment they got close enough. But Arthur was already taking steps to get him naked, he pushed suspenders off John’s shoulder and untacked his shirt, putting both of his palms under, exploring both the softness and the hardness of John’s stomach.</p><p>“Don’t rob anything tonight,” Arthur breathed out after separating their lips. John took a shuddering breath and looked down at him, waiting. The merman pulled one hand from under his shirt and touched his cheek lovingly. “You steal one thing, make it a boat so we can go to Hawaii.”</p><p>John smiled fondly at the idea and leaned down to kiss his lover again, Arthur not hesitating to answer the kiss that quickly got them back to breathing heavily and panting. “I don’t think I can row for that long,” he chuckled, resting their foreheads together. They closed their eyes as they breathed in each other for a few seconds. “But we can go to Hawaii after I do this one score.”</p><p>“If you survive,” Arthur said right back, his hand brushing John’s chest slowly, with no intention to stir the desire inside. Not that he needed to try very hard to make John interested in something more than simple kissing.</p><p>John opened his eyes to stare right back into Arthur’s own filled with worry. He tried to soothe some of them with a gentle kiss to the merman’s lips. “I’ll survive,” he promised, smiling reassuringly before kissing his lover again. “And I’ll come back to you.”</p><p>Arthur stared at him for a moment, looking for something in John’s eyes and expression. When all he found was confidence, he slipped his hand onto John’s neck and brought him to a deep kiss that lasted for a good while. “You better,” the merman said eventually, their lips practically connected still and so, John closed the gap between them once again, kissing Arthur’s worries away. At least some of them.</p><p>They kissed till their lips became almost numb and lungs started to sting with lack of air. Panting, they broke the kiss and stared at each other, Arthur’s eyes soon falling onto the new neckerchief around John’s neck. “I like it,” he said, rubbing the material between his fingers.</p><p>“I like it too,” he replied, watching with a smile how the merman admired the neckerchief. “I’m gonna cover my face with it tonight. Otherwise I would give it to you now to ensure that I’ll return to get it back.”</p><p>“Oh, so a piece of cloth is a bigger reason to come back here, huh?” Arthur teased him, seizing the neckerchief in a tight grip. “I see how it is.”</p><p>“I was trying to be romantic,” John explained with a smirk, not putting any resistance when Arthur pulled him closer.</p><p>Arthur hummed as he connected their lips for another brief kiss. “You can leave anything you want here, just come back,” he asked.</p><p>John felt another stung in his chest. “I ain’t leaving anything,” he said, nuzzling their faces together, their short beards rubbing together in a pleasant way. “And I especially ain’t leaving you.”</p><p>He could hear Arthur gulping loudly and he couldn’t help to be proud how he affected the merman with this. Arthur moved his hands to hug him closely and hold him tight against his body, face hidden in the side of John’s neck. Nothing was said, the desperation and desire in this hug said everything for them.</p><p>It didn’t take long for John to be affected by it as well and he hugged back the merman just as tight, trembling slightly. It was one thing to be confident but that didn’t mean he wasn’t afraid of not coming back.</p><p>The truth was, he was scared. He was scared in some way before every heist or robbery but he couldn’t afford his fears getting the best of him. Especially now, when he was probably scared the most he ever was in his entire life as an outlaw. If he truly wanted to come back to Arthur, he needed to remain calm no matter how scared he was. He was lucky he knew how and having Arthur close right now was helping too.</p><p>Only a fool is not afraid. And John was no fool, no matter what people liked to say about him. Fear was going to help him keep going, keep him alert and cautious when he would need it the most. It wasn’t an enemy, it was a friend.</p><p>And it was going to bring him back to Arthur.</p><p>“Make love to me,” he whispered to the merman.</p><p>Arthur kissed his neck and did just that, slowly undressing John, savoring every moment like their last, even though it wasn’t. John wasn’t going to let that happen.</p><p>When they slipped into the water and shortly after Arthur entered him in one slow thrust, John let his mind go blank for a moment before focusing on spurts of color that was Arthur’s touch, Arthur in him, the lazy roll of his hips.</p><p>Fear had to wait for a moment. There was only them for those couple precious minutes.</p><p>John spent the whole day with the merman, both of them trying to act like this was any normal day and not potentially their last. It wasn’t exactly a success, they weren’t as playful as usual, and some of their time together they either simply spent quiet, leaning against each other, or napping by the water, tired by the waiting for the robbery that was getting closer and closer.  </p><p>They still enjoyed the day as much as they could, making the best of it despite how worried they both were.</p><p>As much as John wanted to stay, the time to leave finally arrived and so, well before midnight, when the sun set a long time ago already, he stood up from the fire, causing Arthur, who was curled around him, to move as well.</p><p>The look the merman gave him then was heartbreaking. It was clearly his last attempt at trying to stop John from going on with his plan and it almost worked. John hated this goodbye. The last time when Arthur was unaware of anything even going on it was easier and for a moment, John regretted he told his lover about his plans.</p><p>But he knew he did right. It was hard to tell if the pain would be smaller if Arthur was to find out John died like this, aware that he left to do something dangerous, or if he would only find out when Sadie, Charles, Lenny or Hosea would come to tell him the tragic news. John would prefer being prepared for the loss but could anything really prepare for this? Arthur didn’t look prepared even one bit and the thought of going on with the plan anyway was sickening.</p><p>But John had to do this, no matter how much he hated himself for hurting Arthur like that. </p><p>“At least I won’t have to wait a week to find out what happened this time,” the merman joked, but without any humor behind it.</p><p>John smiled back at him weakly. “I’ll see you in the morning.”</p><p>“Don’t think I won’t crawl all the way to your camp if you won’t be back,” Arthur promised him seriously.</p><p>John managed a small smile on his lips in response to that. “I wouldn’t expect anything less from you,” he said and crouched, getting a goodbye kiss from Arthur. “You’ll be waiting for me?”</p><p>“You bet.” Arthur inched closer but when John tried to meet him in the middle, expecting another kiss, he was a bit disappointed. He got a kiss, just on the cheek. “My grandmother used to give her mate a kiss like that before he would go hunting. It’s for good luck.”</p><p>How was he supposed to leave now? “With luck like that, I can rob the nearby fort,” he chuckled and it turned into full laugh when Arthur tugged the hat over his eyes.</p><p>“Go,” the merman told him. “Bring me something pretty.”</p><p>“I will.”</p><p>John’s legs felt like they were stuck in a hole full of tar. He had no idea how he managed to move them and climb all the way up the cliff but soon he found himself on Old Boy’s back, riding towards the town despite being drawn back to the bay.</p><p>“In the morning,” he said out loud, urging Old Boy to go faster. The faster they do it, the sooner he could come back. “I’ll be back in the morning.”</p><p>He wasn’t taking any other options into consideration.</p><p>Sadie, Bill and Micah waited for him outside of town. John grimaced at the sight of the last member of his crew. He hoped that Micah bailed in the end and John would come back to camp to take someone in his place, but of course he didn’t. The bastard smiled when he arrived.</p><p>“Said goodbye to your lady?” Micah asked with a sneer.</p><p>“Did I have to?” John asked back as he dismounted Old Boy. “Are we expecting something to go wrong?”</p><p>Micah stepped closer, too close for comfort. “You tell me.”</p><p>They stared at each other, challenging one another. Both of them weren’t willing to give up first and who knows how long they would’ve had this stare contest if Sadie didn’t push in between them. “Alright, spare us the cock fight,” she said, making them step away with her hands on their chests. Bill looked clueless between both of them. “We’re here to rob some folks, don’t waste your strength on each other.”</p><p>Micah snorted. “As if I would break a sweat fighting this twig.”</p><p>John glared at him but didn’t give him the pleasure of experiencing what that twig could really do.</p><p>“We’ll approach from the back right away,” John told everyone, grabbing Old Boy’s reins. “No need for anyone to see us outside of the job. You know the plan, Micah?”</p><p>“Of course. Who do you think I am?”</p><p>“Someone who didn’t stick around long enough to hear it.”</p><p>“Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you forgot about it. Again.” John snarled at him. “What? Hit a sore spot, Marston?” he asked with a smirk.</p><p>“God, Micah, shut up,” Sadie ordered, leading Bob past him. “Let’s go already.”</p><p>They all nodded and followed her. Reaching the town took them around five minutes and just as they entered, they could already hear there was some good time happening at the saloon. The place was packed and loud, perfect to silence any sounds coming from the basements.</p><p>Approaching the saloon from the back, they left the horses a couple of feet away, not tied to anything so they could be called at any time. “Bandanas up.” John untangled his neckerchief and tied it again behind his head, this time covering his face from the nose down. The hat pulled low on his eyes did the rest, hopefully, if anyone would spot them, they wouldn’t recognize them.</p><p>The rest of his crew did as he told them and all of them upholstered their revolvers. John felt a familiar thrill of excitement then, the best part of every job. “Micah goes first,” John said, slightly above whisper to be heard over the music and other noises coming from the saloon. “You secure the place and give us a sign to enter.”</p><p>“Yes, boss,” Micah replied mockingly and swiftly worked on the lock, opening it in a couple of seconds.</p><p>There was no light lit inside, just like John suspected, no one was probably in and Micah soon confirmed it with a short ‘clear’.</p><p>John nodded with his revolver at the door and Sadie entered with Bill right behind her, saddle bags draped over their shoulders. John stayed outside for a moment longer before following as well, closing the door behind himself.</p><p>He walked down the dark stairs slowly, wanting to avoid the fall and breaking his leg or neck. Someone downstairs already lit up the lantern there so the basement was illuminated. The stench of the moonshine was overwhelming at the bottom, John was glad for his bandana, even if it wasn’t doing much to stop the smell.</p><p>“Got anything?” he asked, stopping by the stairs and listening in for footsteps. He only heard people having fun in the saloon.</p><p>“Anything? There is a lot, Marston,” Micah replied, already filling his set of saddlebags with what looked like cash. “Hate to say it, but good lead.”</p><p>It was good. He wasn’t expecting the distillery to be so big, there were bottles everywhere, most of them full, others waiting to be filled. The owner of the saloon was probably selling it at the nearest train station, putting it on trains. And single bottles most likely were going to workers at the station as a form of payment, maybe some going to the locals.</p><p>“There is everything,” Sadie noticed, rummaging through the drawers of the dresser in the corner. Bill was cleaning the chest on the table. “Cash, jewelry, hell even a gold nugget.” Sadie showed them the last one and bit into it to check if it really was gold. With a smile, ha packed it with the rest of her find.</p><p>John was so relieved right now. He hoped for the score to be big but not this big! The bank would still give them more but if they went with the original plan, they would’ve been shot at right now instead of calmly cleaning this place from everything valuable.</p><p>But he shouldn’t get distracted right now, they weren't out of the woods yet, even if they weren’t dense or scary. They still gotta get out of here unnoticed.</p><p>“Hurry up,” he told everyone, nervously looking towards the door. Just like he thought, only one way in and out.</p><p>“What, got somewhere to be?” Micah asked, stopping his searching to turn to him and stare at him with suspicion.</p><p>“I just don’t want to get shot,” John explained through gritted teeth.</p><p>Micah snorted. “You’re the last person the law would shoot.”</p><p>“Hurry. Up,” John repeated himself, more sternly. “You still have a lot of space in your saddlebags.”</p><p>Micah growled but did as he was told, thankfully not protesting because John didn’t want to risk shouting and alarming someone.</p><p>He was watching all three pack the last things when the cracking of the door being opened had him turning towards it. “Keep going,” he hissed at the others when they stopped what they were doing.</p><p>This could be no one, some drunk fool mistaking the basement for his house. The owner or one of his sons, it didn’t have to be the law coming to arrest them. They shouldn’t know about this, unless Micah really was the rat and told the sheriff this morning.</p><p>John gripped his trusty revolver tighter and waited, the steps on the stairs getting closer till he could see the legs and then more and more of the person walking down, till they reached the light at the bottom.</p><p>It was the damn kid. The young one thanks to whom John even knew about the moonshine production. He stared at John and his revolver pointed right at him with eyes wide open in fear. Slowly, the kid raised his hands and obediently moved towards John when he nodded at him with his head.</p><p>John grabbed the kid, putting a gun under his chin. “The hell are you looking here for?” he growled, intimidating, though it wasn’t necessary. The kid was already pissing his pants in fear.</p><p>“I-I,” he stuttered, looking nervously at the others. “I just…”</p><p>“Paul!” some man shouted upstairs. “Paul, are you there?”</p><p>It wasn't the father. Brother? John held the kid against his chest, covering his mouth with a hand and putting a gun to his temple. They waited as the other person descended. “I swear to god, Paul, If this is a joke, I’m gonna tell your father and he’ll give you the beating you’ll never forget.”</p><p>The boy tensed in John’s hold. Sadie, Bill and Micah took the positions to protect themselves, revolvers raised and aimed at the stairs.</p><p>Finally, the sheriff himself appeared at the bottom of the stairs, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw the scene in front of him, his hands flying to the holster on his hip immediately but he didn’t dare to pull it out.</p><p>“What the hell is going on here?” the sheriff asked, looking from Sadie and Bill at Micah and John, with Paul withering in his grasp. “What are you…”</p><p>Micah didn’t let him finish, silencing him with one shot to the mouth. The sheriff fell from the last few steps and crashed onto the floor, gurgling with his own blood for a moment before he died. The kid in John’s hold whimpered.  </p><p>“What the hell?!” John shouted at Micah, pointing at the body.</p><p>“What? Sad that I killed your friend?” Micah snarled.</p><p>“He wasn’t my friend but now everyone heard and we will have a bunch of new ones coming here, you moron!”</p><p>“Open your eyes, Marston, if the sheriff was already here, his deputies can’t be far behind!”</p><p>“He thought it was a joke, he was there alone!” John pointed out, releasing a kid who stared with wide eyes at Micah. “Wasn’t he, kid? Wanted to get back at your father for not letting you help him with his second business?”</p><p>The boy’s eyes grew even bigger. “Sheriff knew about that already!” he protested. “I just told him someone would be robbing it tonight!”</p><p>John tensed and narrowed his eyes. “And how the hell did you know that?”</p><p>The kid started shaking, his eyes escaping from John’s piercing gaze. “I-I some-“</p><p>His words were suddenly cut short by a shot of a gun and a bullet that hit the kid right on the forehead.</p><p>John jumped away, startled when the boy’s body fell under his feet. “Jesus”, Bill somewhere behind them said.</p><p>“Have you lost your mind?!” Sadie shouted and judging by the sound, she pushed Micah, because who else would kill an innocent kid?</p><p>John turned to him, furious. “What the hell are you doing?!”</p><p>“He was getting a knife, cowpoke!” Micah justified himself. “What? Did you wanted me to let him gut you?” John looked back at the body and… Shit, there was a knife tucked in the kid’s pants. Was he reaching for it? John didn’t notice anything but he had to admit he wasn’t paying that much of an attention. Still, Micah didn’t have to kill him. He was just a kid. “You need to stop seeing everyone as good and innocent just because they’re some brats. You’re lucky I noticed it.”</p><p>John should probably thank Micah for saving his life but he didn’t feel very saved right now. “You didn’t have to kill him.”</p><p>Micah rolled his eyes at him. “I’m not going to die just because you have a soft spot for kids, Marston.”</p><p>“Shut the hell up, both of you!” Sadie stepped in again. “Micah shot twice, the whole town knows already something is going on. We ain’t got time for this, we need to run!”</p><p>Just as she said this, more steps appeared at the top of the stairs. Deputies or curious town folks, it didn’t really matter, the two men had guns and after seeing four people with their faces covered, they didn’t hesitate to raise them.</p><p>John and his crew didn’t hesitate either, four shots fired almost at the same time in perfect harmony. The two men joined the sheriff and the kid on the floor, the gun slipping from the grip of one of them. John hunched when a loud bang echoed as the gun fired on its own. It ricocheted from the wall and entered the silo under the other wall, creating a spark in the process. One spark was all it took for the moonshine to ignite.</p><p>John felt the wave of heath where his face wasn't covered when the silo exploded, sending him into the wall. There was a pain in his shoulder and he was pretty sure he started bleeding but the pain in his ears was stronger. They ringed and it was all he could hear for a couple of painful moments. When the ringing started dying down, it was replaced by the roar of a raging fire. </p><p>John opened his eyes and realized he was on the floor among the flames that were feeding on the moonshine that now covered everything after the explosion that sent the bootless flying. Flames were climbing the walls, reaching the roof clouded with thick black smoke and no doubt getting through to the saloon.</p><p>Shaking his head and coughing, John looked around in search of his friends. “Sadie, Bill!” he yelled and lifted himself on his hands and knees. He couldn’t care less for Micah, maybe only for his loot. “Sadie! Bill!” he yelled again. “Can you hear me?!”</p><p>John coughed some more and moaned with pain when he stood up. He felt whole, with nothing being broken but both his head and shoulder hurt a lot. He looked at it and noticed that the material of his shirt was already soaked with blood and something looking like a piece of a silo was sticking out of it. When he looked behind, there were more stuck in the wall. God, he was lucky. He wished he wasn't and just had less near-death experiences than he actually had.</p><p>Stumbling a bit, John looked around. Fire was everywhere and it was glowing, one flame almost burning him. He stepped away, finally noticing Sadie laying on the floor under some wood. He rushed to her right away, coughing again as he did so, not being able to breath properly. He still had his bandana on but he was afraid to take it off to not inhale too much smoke.</p><p>“Sadie,” he rasped, taking off some plank from the woman’s back. “Sadie, hey.”</p><p>He shook her arm gently and when she didn’t respond, he feared the worst. Turning her on her back, John lowered her turquoise bandana to put his hand under her nose. He sighed in relief when he felt her breathing. “Sadie, come on,” he urged, gently slapping her face. Nothing. “Oh god, don’t rip my head off for this,” he begged and slapped her with full force, her head snapping to the side.</p><p>Sadie shouted in pain and opened her eyes at the same time as she lunged at him with a yell, ready to protect herself. John raised his hands to stop her punch but he didn’t have too, because she stopped suddenly and with a pained cry, grabbed her shoulder that didn’t look right.</p><p>“Fuck,” she hissed and groaned very next second, curling slightly around herself.</p><p>“Sadie, you okay?”</p><p>“Do I look okay?!” she shouted and looked up with panicked eyes when some of the ceiling fell behind John. John looked at the debris, burning like the rest of the basement. The whole building was falling apart. “We need to get out of here.”</p><p>“Where is Bill?” John asked and looked around again.</p><p>“I don’t know, I didn’t keep an eye on him when I was knocked unconscious,” she groaned in response.</p><p>“Don’t need to be so sarcastic,” John noticed, helping her stand up.</p><p>“I’m in pain, I can be as sarcastic as I want, shit!” John watched with worry how Sadie clutched her shoulder. “Where is Micah?”</p><p>“Burning I hope,” he responded, leading Sadie to the stairs. Hopefully they weren’t destroyed, the blast wasn’t that hard, they were still alive after all. “Where is the loot?”</p><p>“Fuck the loot!” Sadie growled.</p><p>Sadie didn’t have that much of a problem with walking, she was sore like him and except her left shoulder, she was good otherwise, so after avoiding bigger flames and being hunched to not inhale the thickest smoke, they reached the stairs, still whole thankfully.</p><p>“Go,” John told her, walking back further into the basement himself.</p><p>“What about you?”</p><p>“I need to find Bill.”</p><p>“If you’re coming back for the loot, I swear to God, Marston…”</p><p>“I don’t care about the loot,” he assured her. He wouldn’t risk his life for some stupid money. He wouldn’t leave Arthur like that. Bill was different, he was a friend and a member of John's crew. John was responsible for him. “But I care about Bill. And you. Now go!”</p><p>“I can help,” she protested, getting down one step to join him.</p><p>“You’re injured.”</p><p>“So are you.” She nodded with her head at his still bleeding shoulder. “But unlike you, I don’t have someone to live for.”</p><p>John stared at her, how empty her eyes got for a moment. “Jake is dead but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to live for him still, Sadie,” he reminded her.</p><p>“I’m sure he would be proud knowing I gave my life to save someone else,” she said back, moving past him.</p><p>“We aren’t gonna die.”</p><p>She gritted her teeth in pain and looked back at him with a fire in her eyes that John could swear wasn’t just a reflection from the blaze around them. “Good, because I’m staying, Marston and that’s final. Now let’s find this dumb fool before this whole thing come onto our heads.”</p><p>God, he wanted to keep protesting but that was only a waste of time. “You’re stubborn as a mule, you know that?” he asked angrily.</p><p>Despite the pain, Sadie smirked at him, proud.</p><p>They stepped further into the inferno, covering as much as they could from the overwhelming heat and smoke. John wished he could be in water right now, it was much nicer, even if it could kill him as well. But he had Bill to find. He hoped Arthur would forgive him if he wouldn’t make it because of that.</p><p>With tears in his stinging eyes, John kept looking for a familiar shape of his big friend while the saloon above their heads kept falling around, sometimes missing them only by an inch. It was making him nervous and wanting to run for his life. “Shit, this place won’t stand long,” he noticed, staying close to Sadie all the time.</p><p>“We need to go soon if we don’t find Bill,” she pointed out.</p><p>“I hope we will. The basement isn’t big, it shouldn’t be hard.”</p><p>It was small but the explosion caused everything to be knocked over or broken, not to mention about the rubble adding up to the mess. It felt like a miracle that they spotted Bill after all, crushed under some ceiling plank that wasn't consumed by flames yet, but some of them were already licking at it.   </p><p>They rushed to him. “Is he alive?” Sadie asked John when he crouched next to Bill.</p><p>“Yeah.” Bill’s face was covered with blood from a deep cut on his forehead and there was a possibility that he had a broken rib or two because of the plank, but he looked fine. They were all lucky. “We need to get him from under it before something more buries him alive. Can you lift?”</p><p>“Move over.” Sadie pushed him with her hip so he could make her some space. John smiled under his bandana and they both grabbed the plank, he with two hands, Sadie only with one. “One, two, three.”</p><p>They lifted at the same time, the plank heavier than they thought. They only lifted it slightly before they needed to drop it back gently. Bill regained his consciousness then. “Wha- what’s happening?” he asked, confused, then grabbed his head. “Ow, my head.”</p><p>“Don’t worry, Bill, it was always empty, nothing is hurt inside,” John assured him, still holding the plank with Sadie. “You’re trapped, think you can help me and Sadie?”</p><p>“Trapped?” Bill looked around. “What in the hell happened?”</p><p>“No time to explain, just crawl from under there!” Sadie snapped at him. “Come on, Marston, one more time.”</p><p>She counted to three again and they lifted the plank. Bill helped as well, having more strength than both of them. Kicking with his legs, he got away and John and Sadie could drop the plank with groans.</p><p>“Now come on!” John ordered, rushing both of them before himself. “Go, go! I don’t want to be a roasted chicken and neither do you!”</p><p>They ran away, flames already so big they were impossible to avoid. In a couple places, they had to touch them, feeling them burn through their clothes, hurting their skin. But it was better than being crushed by the falling saloon that let out a loud groan like a waking up beast before collapsing entirely, burying the bodies and hopefully Micah with it.</p><p>They weren’t lucky.</p><p>“Finally, I was thinking you’re never going to get out,” Micah said to them when they stumbled outside, doubling over and coughing their lungs out. John was sure he was going to cough out a coal at some point. He didn’t even have strength to look at Micah with hatred right now, his lungs were burning, so was his skin where the fire touched it. He patted at his shirt when he noticed some flames still on it. God damn it, they almost died there.   </p><p>Maybe the bank wasn’t such a bad idea after all.  </p><p>“Where the hell were you?” Sadie asked, not threatening as much as he would like when she was in the middle of a coughing fit.</p><p>“Making sure nobody was coming to get us,” Micah answered. He was affected by the blast too, his clothes were torn and burned and he was holding himself like he was hurt.</p><p>“Who the hell would try to capture us when the whole saloon was burning?!” John shouted, hearing people in the main street yelling to get water, to save people and just panicking. “We needed you down there!”</p><p>“I kept people away from the basement door, you ungrateful shit!” Micah shouted back and pointed behind himself. “And I brought horses closer. I also kept my part of the score.” Micah patted his saddle bags. “Which I see you didn’t. You’re welcome.”</p><p>“I don’t care about the fucking loot!” John growled, walking past him to skittish Old Boy. “It’s okay boy, relax,” he cooed at the gelding, getting him calm enough to mount.  </p><p>“Yeah, I noticed you don’t care about the gang and how we are going to put food into the pot very much,” Micah mocked, following him with the others.</p><p>“Shut up, Micah!” Sadie snarled. “He cares more than you ever will.”</p><p>“Don’t be so dramatic,” Micah told her. “You’re alive, ain’t you?”</p><p>“No thanks to you,” Bill murmured and climbed Brown Jack.</p><p>Sadie needed some help climbing with one hand immobilized but John got her, pushing her up onto Bob’s back. “Thanks Marston.”</p><p>John nodded and climbed his own horse as well. “Let’s get away from there.”</p><p>“Aren’t you scared going back without loot?” Micah asked, riding next to him.</p><p>“I’m just glad everyone is alive,” he responded, side eyeing Micah. Except you was kept unspoken.</p><p>There was no need to split before arriving in the camp so they traveled together. John didn’t want to leave Bill and Sadie alone. The former was almost falling from his horse and Sadie would have problems protecting herself with only one hand while also galloping on a horse.</p><p>So they stayed together and arrived back in the camp as such, people already coming to meet them, worried.</p><p>“We saw the glow where the town is,” Javier said, being the closest as tonight’s guard. “What happened?”</p><p>“The law got us again,” Micah answered, dismounting. “O’Driscoll! Take care of my horse!”</p><p>“I ain’t O’Driscoll,” Kieran protested but rushed to take the reins from Micah.</p><p>“Yeah, I don’t care.”</p><p>“Bill and Sadie need help,” John informed Susan when she arrived, covered with her coat and with only her nightgown under. “I think Sadie’s shoulder is dislocated.”</p><p>“You think and I feel so,” Sadie gasped. Now that they weren't in danger, the pain increased as she couldn’t distract herself from it anymore.</p><p>“And I need to lay down,” Bill informed, almost falling on his face after getting down from Brown Jack.</p><p>Charles and Javier caught him in time and dragged him to his bed. Abigail was already waking up Swanson so he could take care of everyone with Susan, who barked orders left and right at other girls to prepare medicines. “You need help as well, Mr. Marston,” she noticed, eyeing his injuries.</p><p>“I’m fine,” he assured. He and Micah were better than the rest, the explosion did the least damage to both of them.</p><p>“We’ll take care of Sadie and Bill first, then you and Mr. Bell,” she decided, noticing he wasn’t going to give up.</p><p>John nodded and looked ad Dutch who approached with Hosea in tow, both men concerned. “Dear god, John, did the law started to burn criminals now?”</p><p>“It was an accident that one,” John explained, sitting down heavily by the table. He gratefully took the water Abigail gave him in a cup and drank the whole thing in one go. “But the law knew too. Some kid informed the sheriff but how the kid knew, no idea.”</p><p>He couldn’t shake the feeling that the kid was about to tell him something important before Micah killed him in cold blood.</p><p>“Micah killed the sheriff, then the kid.” John wasn't surprised by the disapproving expression on both men's faces. “Shots alarmed someone so we shot them too. One of their guns fired on its own and it started the fire of the moonshine. Whole thing exploded in our faces.”</p><p>“Christ,” Hosea whispered, terrified. He came closer to John and checked his face for injuries. John wanted to say he was fine but it was nice to be cared for and Hosea was very gentle. “You’re lucky you’re alive.”</p><p>“Yeah,” he agreed and downed the bottle of snake oil Abigail brought him next before rushing to help with Sadie who screamed in agony when Charles set up her shoulder back in place. “Micah got out alright, ran outside. I helped Sadie and we both helped Bill, he was crushed. All three of us almost were, the whole thing collapsed.”</p><p>“Thank god you’re all alright,” Dutch said, sounding really concerned. John could almost think everything was like the old times.</p><p>“Didn’t bring anything back tho,” John mentioned, observing Dutch’s reaction for anger or irritation. There was none, just a relief. John didn’t think he would see that expression aimed at him ever again. “Only Micah did.”</p><p>“I don’t care about the money,” Dutch told him right away, reluctantly stepping closer. John watched him, waiting. The older man wanted to say something to him but Susan carrying some medical supplies interrupted him.</p><p>“Mr. Williamson told us what happened,” she said, patting John on the uninjured arm. “You’re a hero, John.”</p><p>John smiled at her, watching her walk away to get back to poor Bill looking like he was babbling some nonsense to Swanson working on him. Hosea gave John a light hug as well, telling he did good and that he was proud. John shied away from the praise. He was glad that everyone was okay but he was no hero.</p><p>He turned his attention back to Dutch who was looking at him with pride in his eyes just like Hosea, but John didn’t feel as happy with it as he thought would. Wasn't it what he wanted? He tried so hard to get back this look aimed at him, why was it doing nothing to him?</p><p>“I… I was wrong about you, John.” Dutch’s voice was filled with sorrow and guilt that got right to John’s heart but he ignored how it felt sorry for his father. “You were never a rat and I can’t express how sorry I am that I even considered you being one. No rat would risk his life to save other people. Especially having something precious waiting for him at home.”</p><p>Arthur was probably dying sick with worry. He no doubt saw the glow in town as well, maybe he even swam to see what was happening.  </p><p>“Thanks,” John replied and turned his gaze away, having nothing more to say to Dutch. Not now. He was just glad he was cleaned from accusation, though he didn’t expect it to happen that way. But it was finally over.</p><p>So why was he still feeling so terrible?</p><p>His lack of more emotional response must’ve made Dutch puzzled. John didn’t know what the older man was expecting, a hug? Tears of relief? Certainly not John still sitting in his place and not even staring at him. Dutch walked closer, John watched him with the corner of his eyes and noticed him raising his hand, probably to place it on John’s arm. But it was injured, a piece of metal still stuck in it and Hosea already took place by his other side, so Dutch dropped his hand awkwardly and resigned himself to just talking.  </p><p>“John, I…” he started, lost at words. John lifted his gaze and looked at him, seeing the other man struggling. It once again touched his heart but he didn’t want to feel sorry for Dutch. He deserved a cold shoulder. “I’m really sorry, son, I…”</p><p>John felt like he was punched. “Don’t,” he said shortly, standing up quickly. He stared at Dutch in anger that suddenly arose within him with just that one word. It was like pulling the trigger. “Don’t call me a ‘son’ when you thought of me as a rat for the past weeks,” John told him. “You have no right to use that word.”</p><p>He said it so casually too, with so much worry and love John hadn’t felt from him in a while, but now it was suddenly back and instead of warming John’s heart, it was only making him furious.</p><p>John curled his palms into fists. He wanted to punch Dutch right now.</p><p>Dutch wanted to say something, but he thought better of it and closed his mouth, nodding. This wasn’t enough. John couldn’t stand being around him at the moment, he was angry and hurt, and he didn’t mean the last one physically.</p><p>Without another word, John marched back to his still saddled horse, ignoring Susan shouting after him to wait, that he’s injured. Arthur could take care of him. He needed to see the merman.</p><p>Before he rode off, he could hear Hosea talking. “Hope you’re happy, Dutch. You may have just lost him forever.”</p><p>John closed his eyes to stop the tears and urged Old Boy into the gallop. The robbery was supposed to make it all better, not worse.</p><p>He didn’t slow down till they reached the forest and even then he rode as fast as he could without risking the gelding’s injury. Finally, they arrived and John just rushed down. The fire on the beach was out and he couldn’t see anything, including Arthur, until suddenly the merman’s tail lit up blue.</p><p>For a short moment, John forgot about the pain, anger, everything that wasn’t his heart soaring at the sight of the merman.</p><p>Arthur was waiting for him.</p><p>He practically ran down the path, and Arthur wasn’t going to wait for him either. The water splashed when he jumped into the water and rushed through it.</p><p>They met in the middle, John fell to his knees and grabbed Arthur tightly when the merman went for the hug right away. They didn’t say anything, they just clutched each other, breathed in each other, relieved they had this again.</p><p>And none of them was going to let go ever again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Micah is a bastard and he should've died in that burning building. Oh well, maybe something else bad will happen to him. Like, idk, someone will rip his theoat out. Who knows.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. A Goodbye Party</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“You’re such a dumb, reckless fool, John Marston,” Arthur told him while cleaning the wound on his shoulder, the piece of the silo thrown on the sand next to them, still with fresh blood on it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you too,” John replied with a smile and then grimaced when Arthur pressed the seaweed to the wound, cleaning it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur returned his smile, but without raising his gaze to look at him, focused solely on his task. “Dumb reckless fool but a brave and a good man too,” he added after a while.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John snorted. “I’m no good man,” he denied. “I just did the right thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds like something a good man would do,” Arthur replied, putting away the seaweed to pick up the bandage instead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wouldn’t be saying that right now if I died there,” John noticed and coughed, having trouble with catching his breath when he was finally done after almost a full minute. His lungs felt like they were stuffed with smoke still. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably not.” Arthur continued covering the wound when John’s whole form wasn't shaking anymore. “I would be too devastated and bitter to care why you did it. But I’m proud you did.” The merman raised his eyes and stared at him, the pride he talked about on display for John to see. “And I'm glad you’re okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled and leaned closer, kissing Arthur softly on the lips. “Me too,” he whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a nice, intimate moment, that unfortunately got destroyed by another coughing fit from John, longer than the last on. Old Boy, brought down already for the rest of the night, neighed in distress while John fought to get his breath back with Arthur rubbing his back through it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God damnit,” John wheezed, placing a hand against his chest where he could feel stinging. It seemed that the coughing passed for now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you should lay down,” Arthur suggested, already done with the bandage and helping John into a lying position.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he breathed out tiredly and let out another small cough. “Yeah, that’s a good idea,” he admitted, feeling slightly dizzy for some reason.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur smiled down at him with compassion and crawled away for a moment, returning with some water he probably took from Old Boy’s saddle. “You look like a lobster,” the merman said in amusement and just a tiny hint of worry in his words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John wanted to laugh but he was afraid of another coughing. He felt a bit warm on the face. “Thanks,” he rasped instead and drank the whole content of water skin. It didn’t exactly help for the dizziness or the tight feeling around his lungs but it was better than nothing. “I felt fine before,” he noticed, remembering Bill was in worse shape than him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need to rest,” Arthur advised him, picking up new leaves of the sea weed to clean burns on John’s skin next. “Go to sleep. You can stop being a hero for the day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m no hero,” he mumbled stubbornly, but did what Arthur asked and closed his eyes, feeling tired and sick. “Night, darlin’.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Night,” the merman responded, his gentle hands skimming over John’s body with care. Arthur’s cold skin felt even better on his than usual after it felt the burning hotness of the fire earlier. “I’m proud of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A loopy grin appeared on John’s face before he gave in to the exhaustion, falling asleep to Arthur’s soft humming and careful touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When John woke up, the sun was in the middle of the sky already. John stared at the cliff above his head, protecting him from the sun rays by giving him a nice shade to rest in. He propped himself on his elbows and breathed in the breeze coming from the ocean. It cooled down his still warm face and filled his lungs with clean air, hopefully cleaning all the smoke that was still there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They still burned but he fought off the need to cough and looked around. Old Boy was resting nearby, laying in the shade as well. John smiled at his gelding and searched the beach for Arthur but the merman wasn’t there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe in the water, he thought and lifted himself from the ground. A small wave of dizziness hit him and he stumbled a bit but he regained control and walked on the sun and closer to the water. He crouched next to it and scooped some to wash his face, giving out a sigh when it helped his hot face further. How long he was going to feel the consequences of that fire? He was already tired of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sitting down at the edge of the water, he stared at it, surprised by his desire to submerge himself in it completely. If Arthur was there, he would do it. He actually wanted to go for a swim but with how shallow his breathing still was, he feared it would be a bad idea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Putting his feet in the water was enough for now. That’s how Arthur found him a few minutes later. The merman climbed from the water, holding two fish by their tales in his mouth. Upon seeing John, he hurried to get to him, dropping fish on the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Arthur greeted him with a chaste kiss on the lips. John smiled and wiped the loose scale that got stuck to his mouth. Probably from the fish. “How are you feeling?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better,” he answered honestly. “Still like crap tho.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was sure Bill and Sadie were probably feeling worse. Especially Bill who already lost consciousness last night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll get better,” Arthur assured him, rubbing his naked shoulder lovingly. “You hungry? I caught some fish.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not that hungry but I can try.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Arthur put the effort to get the food, John wasn’t going to turn him down. He should probably eat anyway, even if he wasn’t feeling hunger right.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t force yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled at the merman’s concern. “I’ll be fine. I’ll eat just a tiny bit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur still didn’t look convinced but nodded anyway. “Okay, if you’re sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They returned under the cliff and John started a fire while Arthur cleaned the fish for him, watching it being done enough times already to help with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just like John said, he was only eating small bits, tearing the cooked meat with his fingers and feeling nausea every time he was putting it in his mouth. But he ate, knowing that the empty stomach wasn’t going to help him recover.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“So I assume everything is good with Dutch now?” Arthur asked, already done with his own food. As always nothing was left from the fish, he ate all of that thing, including head, tail and bones. “I mean, no traitor would risk their life for someone they were going to sell to the law, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John nodded, feeling an unsettling feeling in his stomach when he remembered the last night. “Yes and no,” he answered, dropping his gaze to the fish in his lap. He could feel Arthur looking at him in confusion. “Dutch apologized,” he explained. “But that didn’t really make me feel better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why? Wasn't it what you wanted?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugged. “It went for too long, you know?” he asked, looking at Arthur again. “He kept suspecting me over and over again even when I told him to trust me but he didn’t. And suddenly he apologized and expected everything to be fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you expected it more,” Arthur noticed, shifting closer. “He would be stupid to expect you would just forgive him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So I'm stupid too?” he asked, irritated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not what I said.” John stared at him and sighed. “You had every right to expect getting back to how it was. You was hurt and betrayed by him. There is nothing wrong in wishing for it to end.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But it didn’t,” he growled, frustrated. “Yes, Dutch doesn’t think of me as a rat anymore but it still hurt he ever did,” he confessed. Even thinking of it right now was causing him pain. “I want it to stop.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur wrapped an arm around him, tucking him closer and John let him, resting comfortably against the sturdy body of his merman. “Wish I could help somehow,” he admitted, giving John’s arm a comforting rub. “Or tell that everything will be alright but that’s on you and Dutch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to forgive him. Not now.” Maybe later, but right now he only felt anger towards the leader.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s understandable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I feel bad not forgiving him,” he admitted. Dutch looked heartbroken last night, like John really just betrayed him. “Am I wrong for not doing that? I want it to end but I’m dragging it out right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” There was no hesitation in Arthur's answer. “He dragged it out when you wanted to end it. If you forgive him now, will it be honest?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” John wasn't sure if he would be able to even say those words right now. They would get stuck in his throat no doubt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then don’t. It won’t help in any way, you will still feel the same, wait till you’re ready. It's not your call to fix anything right now, you did your part even though you shouldn’t have to. Now it’s Dutch’s turn to fix things. He broke your relationship. Not you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John hummed. “I don’t think he’ll have much time to do this,” he admitted sadly. “I hoped robbing a moonshine business wouldn’t cause too much trouble but it did. We killed the sheriff, the saloon burned. People will be looking for the gang, it can’t stay here for long.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He and Dutch would have to part on bad terms anyway. Maybe without the older man thinking John betrayed him, but the whole situation would still leave a bitter taste in their mouth, along with a feeling that they could’ve done more to prevent this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Arthur was right. John did everything he could, more than that even. It was Dutch who was stubborn all this time and didn’t take the hand John was extending in his direction. He shouldn’t blame himself for how it was going to end, this whole mess was on Dutch, not him. John proved his loyalty even though Dutch should’ve believed him from the very beginning. Dutch should now work for his forgiveness, not expect it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You could write to each other,” Arthur suggested. “If he cares about you then nothing should stop him from making it right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John wished it wasn't going to. Because no matter how angry he was at Dutch right now, he wanted them to be okay. Maybe their relationship wouldn’t be like in the past anymore but it could still be better than it was right now, tainted by doubts and rumors. John would be ready to forgive eventually if Dutch was willing to try to gain his trust back. Now it was his time to see how it feels. And John wasn’t going to make it easy for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I should talk to him,” he mused. “Tell him how he hurt me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s a good idea,” Arthur agreed, nuzzling his hair. “But does it have to be today?” he asked, grabbing John a little more tightly, possessive even.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John chuckled. “I should go back.” John chuckled again when Arthur let out a frustrated groan. “I left when I was still injured, they probably worry about me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, but you need to go back for the night,” the merman decided, releasing him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will,” he promised and dragged Arthur back to him. “Where are you going? I didn’t say I need to return now.” Arthur grinned and kissed him passionately, quickly making John out of breath. Whether they liked it or not, they needed to separate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Already?” Arthur asked smugly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As much I would like to say it’s your influence, my lungs are still mostly made of smoke right now,” he explained and coughed to clear them slightly. Arthur watched him with worry when it took longer than he planned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?” he asked when John finally got his breath back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I'm fine,” he assured and cleared his throat. “What have we been doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me remind you, cowboy,” Arthur purred and brought him to another kiss, keeping it slow for John to enjoy it longer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t work. Arthur had a natural talent for taking John’s breath away.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>John rode off back to camp long before sunset so he didn’t have to return to the bay in the dark again. He arrived when there was still some blue over the horizon and it seemed that Grimshaw waited for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There you are,” she huffed, irritated, but with a relief too. John gave her a small smile while dismounting. “For god’s sake, boy, you made all of us worried.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, Ms. Grimshaw,” he apologized, really sorry that he scared them so much. But he really couldn’t stand being around Dutch then. He still wasn’t sure if he could, even looking into Dutch’s tent direction was making his stomach stir. “But I'm okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thankfully. What if you fainted on the way to your girl? You could’ve been even more hurt,” she said disapprovingly, with hands on her hips. “Let me look you over.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fi…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t even manage to finish when his hand was taken and he was tugged to the nearest table and sat down on a crate. He didn’t even try to fight, he tried that many times when Susan was forcing him into a bath in the past, it never ended well. “I want to see if your woman didn’t mess anything up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She did a great job,” he assured but slipped suspenders of his shoulder anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Susan examined the wound from the fragment of the silo, ignoring the burns when she noticed they were mostly healed with the help of Arthur’s miraculous seaweed. Only the bigger ones still looked bad and no doubt would leave scars. Just a few more for his already impressive collection. “Looks like she knows her way around wounds,” Susan approved eventually, letting him button up the shirt again. “You’re lucky, she’ll take good care of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t need to be taken care of,” he noticed with a grin. He didn’t even know why he grinned. Maybe because Grimshaw said that she accepted Arthur in a way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Susan snorted. “Every man does. You’re like children, you never grow up. Get dressed and eat something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I already ate,” he informed her while putting his suspenders back on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eat more.” That wasn't a suggestion. “You always eat too little.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John narrowed his eyes. “That’s not true.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Susan ignored him by simply walking away already. She knew he was going to eat so she didn’t need to supervise him. And he did just that, scraping the bottom of the pot to put the remains of today's stew into his bowl. It smelled delicious, Charles must’ve been hunting lately.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Scattering his eyes over the camp, he found a free space to eat along with Javier and Sean.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mind if I join you, gentleman?” he asked, already sitting down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My favorite Scottish!” Sean exclaimed cheerfully. “My brother from another mother is always welcome by my side!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled at the enthusiastic welcome. It’s been awhile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you feeling, brother?” Javier asked, less loud than Sean but with a clear concern.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m alive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You all were really lucky, Johnny boy,” Sean noticed, waving his spoon around. “Even luckier than me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Javier nodded. “He was always lucky. I was sure he was dead when I found him on that mountain after Blackwater,” he recalled with a smirk John quickly returned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Needs more than some wolves and a fire to stop me,” he said, scratching at the scars on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tough John Marston is back!” Sean shouted and chuckled. “And I thought love made you soft.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John blushed, dropping his gaze. “Not quite.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, we’ll see.” The ginger laughed again. “You’ll probably cry as much as your girl when we’ll be leaving in a few days.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He raised his head at that, staring between Sean and Javier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s official then?” he asked. Now his stomach was definitely turning on itself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Dutch announced that this morning,” Javier answered. “Too much heat, he said, and I agree.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, they did set a fire,” Sean pointed out, cackling at his own joke but Javier ignored him, busy with his food, while John stared into space.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was it then.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He quickly stood up from the table, leaving his stew untouched. “Need to talk to Dutch,” he explained when his friends looked at him questioningly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He won’t change his mind, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not why I’m going to talk to him,” he answered Sean and walked to Dutch’s tent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was partially open, Molly and Dutch in the middle of a meal. Dutch looked up at John when he entered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Molly, can you give us a second?” he asked the woman that already stood up to retreat to find a more peaceful place, not wanting to be caught up within a shouting match.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When she left, John stepped further into the tent, closing it behind himself. Dutch kept looking at him, sitting straight on his cot, food already placed next to him so his hand could be free.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I heard we’re leaving, Dutch.” John got to the point right away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dutch nodded, surprised, probably expecting an argument. “Yes,” he confirmed. “Tilly returned from town today, said the new sheriff got the order to find those responsible for burning the saloon. We’re leaving in a couple of days, before he can arrive, once the roads calm down. Right now deputies took every willing man in town to help with the search.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John nodded this time, licking his lips nervously. “I’m not going, Dutch,” he said quietly. There was no point in pretending he was undecided. The thought of leaving the gang, his family of many years was making him uncomfortable but it was the right thing to do. His decision pained him and he would miss everyone, but leaving Arthur and missing him would hurt even more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Dutch replied just as quietly. John watched his expression turning sad. “I suspected it would happen. I understand. You have my blessing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at the older man. “I don’t need your blessing. I’m not asking for permission.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right.” Dutch dropped his gaze and cleared his throat. John rarely had seen the other man this nervous or uncertain like right now. “I wanted to apologize again, John.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John waited for more but apparently that was it. “For what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dutch looked up at him, guilt visible in his eyes that didn’t reflect in his words at all. “For everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John released an unamused huff. “That’s a little vague, don’t you think, Dutch? You need to be more specific.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Dutch couldn’t even say why he was sorry, then they had nothing to talk about. John didn’t even come here for another apology.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I ever think of you as a rat,” he elaborated. “I shouldn’t have.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John bit the inside of his cheek. “No, you shouldn’t,” he agreed and gave Dutch a pained look. “But you did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I’m deeply sorry, about that, so… John,” he corrected himself quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. But simple ‘I’m sorry’ won’t fix a thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want me to do then?” he asked and stood up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John shrugged. “I don’t know. That’s not my problem to solve,” he pointed out and almost stormed out of the tent when Dutch had the audacity to scowl at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t need to be so sarcastic about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do, because you clearly don’t take it seriously enough.” He shrugged again and looked away. “Why should I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you I'm sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I told you it’s not enough.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dutch sighed, annoyed, and John pressed his lips in a thin line. He had no right to act annoyed right now! “Then what else do you want from me?” the leader asked again. “Beg you for forgiveness on my knees?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John felt the anger arousing in him like last night. He curled his palms into fist almost subconsciously and fought the urge to connect one of them with Dutch’s face. “If you’re joking about it, then you clearly don’t care.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I care, John.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John dropped his arms down and stepped closer to Dutch and into his personal space. “Well then you’re not aware how much you hurt me then,” he spat angrily. “Because you hurt me a lot, Dutch. You took me in like your own son and you believed a man that you know for less than a year over me. I told you to trust me and you ignored it. He told you to be suspicious and you believed him instantly!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were disappearing day after day, John,” Dutch justified himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what? It never was a problem.” John stared at him in disbelief. Was he really not understanding how wrong he acted? “And I told you that you have nothing to worry about. But you kept pushing, making me reveal more and more about who I was meeting even when I clearly didn’t want to share any of this. But I did because I believed you would finally trust me again.” His heart was twinging in pain just remembering it. “And you didn’t, you had Charles to tail me. Me!” John didn’t care at this point if anyone heard them arguing again. “And even when he and the others returned, saying everything was fine, I still had to almost lose my life for you to get back to your senses. And all you have to say is ‘I’m sorry’?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know I messed up, John.” Well, that was something, at least. “I shouldn’t have treated you that way and I can’t express enough how much I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you are.” John took a step back from the older man. “But I'm not ready to forgive you yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dutch nodded, thankfully not getting riled up about this like John expected. The other man never liked when something wasn't happening the way he wanted. “Yes, I understand. I disrespected you and your woman.” So he was aware of something. “When I wasn't suspecting you, I was suspecting her. I didn’t act like a gentleman, a leader and certainly not like your friend. I hope you can forgive me one day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John stared at the leader, at his resigned form and pain in his eyes. It affected him of course, but John wasn’t going to give in to his own guilt. He did nothing wrong and he had every right to be angry, to hold a grudge until Dutch would fix it one day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it wasn’t today yet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope so too,” he admitted, tired out suddenly. He hated those fights and how miserable they were making him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll make it up to you somehow, John. I promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John nodded and walked to the exit. “I’ll hold you to that, Dutch. But you have to do more than say sorry,” he reminded the leader. He really had no idea what Dutch would have to do to gain John’s trust again, but just like John said, it wasn't his problem.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How about we start tomorrow,” Dutch suggested, stopping him from leaving. John looked back at the other man. “Since you’re leaving, you deserve a goodbye party. Bill and Sadie still aren’t well and I'm sure you’re going to your lady right now. Tomorrow, we say goodbye, and the next day we help you move.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll move myself, I told you I don’t want you to know where she lives. But the party sounds nice.” He even managed a smile at the thought. “It’ll make it easier to say goodbye to everyone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The party was going to be very bittersweet. John was sure some of them, including him, were going to get emotional, especially after a few drinks. The last party with his friends and family.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dutch smiled at him. “Then it settled. Tomorrow evening?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, okay,” he agreed. He would have to tell Arthur that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish you could bring your lady too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not a chance.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dutch didn’t push further. “Hopefully I can meet her one day. When I get back your trust.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe.” He would love to. No matter what, he still loved Dutch, he wanted them to be family and for him to meet Arthur. But he couldn’t trust Dutch with something so precious right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He left after that and went to pack some of his things already. Not that there was that much to get, his guns were taking most of the space in his trunk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was just packing small things to an old bag he snatched from Pearson’s wagon when Tilly appeared in the entrance to the tent. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, John,” she greeted him cheerfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Tilly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?” she asked, worried. “We’ve been worried. Bill and Sadie were coughing pretty bad all night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I had some trouble breathing but I’m okay I think.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He would probably get tired really easily after jogging for a minute but he was sure his lungs would get back to normal soon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s good to hear,” she said with a relieved smile. “I’m glad you all came out of this alive. Except Micah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John snorted. “Yeah,” he agreed. “Where is he anyway?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t see him eating earlier but he saw Baylock with other horses so the man was in the camp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sulking around the camp.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why? He was the only one who brought something back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tilly shrugged. “I don’t know and to be honest? I don’t care.” Fair enough. “Hey, you left your neckerchief yesterday when you returned.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John remembered tossing it on the ground after he realized it was damaged beyond saving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It got burned. I had no use for it now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He barely bought it and already lost it. He should’ve used his old bandana during the robbery.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know how proud you were of it,” Tilly noticed with sympathy. “So me and the girls fixed it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pulled something from the hidden pocket of her dress but that didn’t look like his neckerchief, even if the color was right.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s my neckerchief?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We saved as much as we could,” Tilly explained nervously, playing with the piece of cloth in her hands. “It’s not exactly a neckerchief anymore but you can still wear it as a choker. Here, let me tie it up for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned and moved away his hair for her. Out of nowhere, he felt a light nudge in the shin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bend your knees, I’m not that tall.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He responded right away, getting lower for her to reach his neck. “Sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tilly worked quickly, tying the cloth – choker, he remained himself – around his neck, tight enough that it laid against his skin but still loose to let him breathe normally. “There. Handsome as always.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John straightened up and turned, blushing. “I’m not that handsome.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You say that to your girl too?” she joked, examining from the front. “Looks really good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled and touched the choker gently. It felt nice against his skin. It smelled of smoke still but that could be fixed with a couple of washings. He needed to see himself in the mirror later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I’m sorry,” Tilly revealed suddenly. She quickly explained when she saw his confused face. “For thinking you were a rat. We didn’t know what to think anymore and Dutch wasn’t helping.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t blame anyone but Dutch. Was he hurt by everyone turning his back on him? Yes, but Dutch did the most damage starting this in the first place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not, I knew you for years and still believed some of the rumors. I feel bad about that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t, I don’t blame you.” John grabbed her by the shoulders and bent down to place a kiss on her forehead. “Thanks Tilly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tilly smiled up at him. “You’ll be back before we leave, right?” she asked, hopeful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you know I'm not leaving with you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That part of his talk with Dutch was said quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You would be a real fool if you did,” she giggled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” he chuckled. “I’ll be back. Dutch throws a goodbye party tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will your girl be jealous if I snatch you for a dance at least once?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She may be, but don’t worry about it, I know a way to make it up for her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe he and Arthur could dance under water. If swimming around in each other’s arms could be called dancing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was getting dark when he arrived back at Arthur’s place. The merman was waiting for him at the beach, laying on the sand with his tail in the water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, how did it go?” Arthur asked once John settled next to him and gave him a welcome kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I talked to Dutch. He said he’ll try to make it up for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur smiled, curling his tail around John’s legs when he put them in the water. “That’s good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But the gang is leaving so I don’t know how he’ll do it.” John let out a sigh. “I told Dutch I’m not going.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur looked at him with sympathy. “It must be hard for you,” he noticed, gently taking John’s hand in his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Gang was my whole life.” He looked at the ocean for a moment and smiled before turning back to Arthur. “But now I have you and I don’t want to lose it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You won’t,” the merman assured, squeezing his hand but then he dropped it suddenly, so much so the absence of Arthur’s palm felt more cold than his skin. John watched how the merman shied away from him just slightly. “And I know it’s your decision but I’m still feeling guilty I made you choose.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John picked up Arthur’s hand again, not letting him take it back. “There was no choice, I know where I want to be,” he said softly, moving towards Arthur since the merman ran away. “I spent with that gang fourteen years, it’s time to move on, start a life of my own. With you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wished the gang could stay with them so he could visit them or them visit him instead of having only letters to communicate. But if he couldn’t have that, the choice was obvious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I could…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You would join me and the gang. I know,” he interrupted Arthur with a smile. “I appreciate it. You have nothing to be guilty about.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur looked at him and seeing no blame in John’s eyes, only joy and a smile on his lips, the merman quickly returned both and leaned closer for a kiss, caressing John’s face in a loving manner. John sighed in bliss. “I love you,” Arthur whispered against his mouth. “I can’t wait to have you here every day, without having to share you with the gang.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t wait for that either. “I will only have to go to town occasionally,” pointed out. “But other than that, I'm all yours.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur wrapped his arms around John and kissed him again. “Couldn’t have it any other way,” he purred sensually before connecting their lips once more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled into the kiss. “I only wonder how I’m going to live here,” he thought loudly. He never figured it out. “Maybe a little cabin up the cliff?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur scrunched his nose at this. “That’s a bit far from me. We won’t be able to sleep together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t build one here, it will be flooded sooner or later. Not to mention the weather ain’t my friend in this either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t you build it like piers are built?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not that skilled, I’m not sure I can even build a cabin, let alone one like that,” he explained and sighed, looking at Arthur with worry. “And I don’t want to get people down here to know where to find me and you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can sleep like you’re doing so far for now,” Arthur suggested, smiling reassuringly at him. “We’ll figure something out later. We can even move, I’m sure I can find us some nice beach similar to this, even without entrance from the land. Only Old Boy would be a problem.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. We’ll think of something,” he agreed and this time, he started the next kiss, slow and comforting. He liked it here, Arthur too, but John had no problem with moving somewhere else to accommodate them both. With how long Arthur could survive being outside of water, maybe they could even move next to some small lake. Only the transport would be tricky.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t spend the night with you tomorrow.,” John informed the merman, remembering the party. “I’m afraid you need to share me with the gang one more time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can live with that.” There was still some disappointment in his voice. “What’s the occasion?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need to collect my things and Dutch is throwing a goodbye party for me. His first attempt to reconcile with me.” To be quite honest, it was nice of Dutch to do that. John wasn't expecting anything. “It’ll be a good opportunity to drink with my friends one last time, say my goodbye.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur thought about that then nodded. “I can allow that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, thank you, you’re very generous for letting me go,” he teased Arthur, getting a grin in return and shortly after, a heavy but a very handsome merman in his lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am, ain’t i?” Arthur looked at him adoringly till his eyes settled on John’s neck. “Is that your neckerchief?” John was wondering when Arthur would comment on it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, girls turned it into a choker,” he explained, going still when Arthur touched it gently, sliding his fingers on the edge so he was touching the skin as well, giving John goosebumps. “How do you like it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John started to get nervous when Arthur hummed. “It’ll get in the way of me kissing you there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can take it off,” John offered, disappointed that the merman didn’t like it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur hooked his finger under the choker, his claw scratching John’s skin. “Or you can leave it on. And just it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John’s heart started racing with anticipation and it became a bit hard to breath with Arthur’s finger pressing into his jugular. “Your wish is my command.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John gasped in surprise when he was suddenly tugged closer by the choker, his and Arthur’s faces only inches away as the merman smiled at him. “Good boy,” he drawled and smashed their lips together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John wasn’t ashamed of the moan that he released just before that, he happily returned the kiss instead, letting Arthur press him to the ground as they started shaking off his clothes together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Next day, John still felt some side effects of smoke inhalation, he was out of breath after walking too fast and after morning sex when Arthur sucked him off. Which was a nice way to wake up to and he gladly returned the favor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t have to return to camp till evening so he spent a day with Arthur like they would usually do, talking, drawing, the merman even took him for a short swim, but only on the surface to not tire John’s lungs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Since it was the day to celebrate, John didn’t see the reason to not celebrate with Arthur as well. He took a short trip to town and came back with a bottle of whiskey for the two of them. A chance for Arthur to have some fun as well and a little warm up for John before the bigger party, with much more alcohol.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were both tipsy after drinking the whole bottle, Arthur more so than John since he wasn’t used to it. Once the bottle was empty, they discarded it for the drunk kisses they shared by the fire. Though they were giggling more than kissing actually, they couldn’t complain either way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When it was time for John to leave, drunk Arthur was even more clingier than usual.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me go,” he giggled under the merman’s tail.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Arthur refused, grabbing John’s legs in a tight grip with his tail. “Don’t want you to go,” he mumbled into forearms where he rested his head, looking at John through half lidded eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John let out another drunk giggle. “I’ll be back in the morning,” he said, stroking the muscled tail resting on his stomach. Arthur sighed in pleasure. “I promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t need to go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled at his merman fondly. It was sweet how he wanted to keep John with him, even if he wanted John to have fun with his friends one last time as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s the party for me, I’m kinda needed there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur huffed, not liking how much sense it had. “I want to go with you,” he admitted unhappily. “Talk with Hosea again. And the others.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you do,” John replied with sympathy. When he pushed at Arthur’s tail, the merman lifted it from him and let him sit up. “I’ll talk to them, ask them to say goodbye to you too,” he suggested and moved to lay on his belly next to Arthur. They looked at each other. “But you can’t go with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur huffed again. “You can’t stop me. I’ll follow you to the camp.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John snorted. “You better stay where it’s safe, sweetheart,” he told the merman and kissed him on the nose, smiling when the blush on Arthur's face, caused by alcohol, darkened. “See you in the morning.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be late,” the merman mumbled, observing John walking away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John did the same and waved at his lover when he was half-way up the path. He laughed when Arthur smiled and waved back with his tail fin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It hit John during the ride back that it was the last time he was coming back and it made his heart sting painfully. Last time stopping Old Boy next to other horses like Taima or Nell, last time seeing all the familiar tents, last time smelling Pearson’s cooking. He was used to moving and living in different places, but not without the whole gang, without his family, and it was both exciting and intimidating.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With pressure in his chest, John arrived in the camp, welcomed instantly by Jack. As if he wasn't feeling bad about leaving already.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uncle John!” the boy shouted, running as fast as his little legs could carry him. John picked him up when Jack threw himself into his arms, the injured one aching slightly. “Are you really leaving?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m afraid I am,” he answered with a soft smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But why?” Jack asked. “Don’t you like us no more?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like you all very much,” John assured and adjusted his grip on the boy to put more of his weight on his uninjured arm. “I just like a person that lives here as well. Very much so and want to stay with them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t they stay with us?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They would like it very much, but it’s not possible, squirt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack pouted. “Can me and momma visit you sometimes?” he asked hopefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The whole gang can, if Dutch would be willing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I’ll be willing,” Dutch promised, coming seemingly out of nowhere. John turned to him with Jack. “As long as you’ll have us, that is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be happy to,” John answered and smiled at the leader.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dutch smiled back and pointed with his hand at the rest of the gang, already gathered around the fire, the party just starting. “Shall we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John nodded and walked to join his friends. “There he is!” Uncle exclaimed. “Give this man a beer, it will be his last drink without guilt before he’ll be nagged for every single sip by his future wife.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled awkwardly as he put Jack in Abigail’s lap and took the offered beer from Bill.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To your health, Johnny boy!” Sean toasted. “This woman will suck you dry from it, no doubt ow!” Sean looked hurt at Karen who just hit him on the ribs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure she’ll suck him dry in other ways too so he can’t complain!” Uncle joked and cackled, joined by some while others simply rolled his eyes at the old man, including John himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking a sip of his beer, he looked around. Everyone was here and he couldn’t be happier seeing all his friends wanting to say goodbye to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, you idiots,” Hosea said, standing up. Everyone got silent to listen to him. “First of all, marriage isn’t so bad. You don’t want an annoying wife, don’t marry, or marry someone you actually love, simple. Second of all, John?” John looked at his surrogate father and his soft smile. “It pains me to see you go, but I’m happy for you. I hope you get to enjoy your new life for years and years to come.” Hosea’s smile turned sad and it was clear who he was thinking of. “To John and his lover! Let them have a long and a happy life!”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>John got tears in his eyes when everyone shouted back and drank enthusiastically. He did so too, to hide his embarrassment and how emotional it made him. Once he had himself under control, he looked at everyone again and grinned wide. “Thank you all,” he said, his voice cracking just a little. Nobody commented. “It means a lot to me that you support me in this. It was an easy decision but it still hurt to leave you all. You’re my family and I didn’t expect to leave the gang so suddenly but…” he spread his arms helplessly. “What can you do? I’m sure we’re going to write to each other but I’m still going to miss you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re going to miss you too,” Abigail said, giving him one arm hug and kissing him on the cheek. “We wish you all the best.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, is it a party or a wake?” Sean complained. “Let’s skip this emotional crap and have some fun!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John snorted. “You’re going to miss me yet, you limping bastard.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not a chance, scarface. Gonna take your place as Dutch’s best gunman.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not even his best limping gunman,” Lenny snickered, shoving Sean with his elbow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sean narrowed his eyes at him. “There are no other limping people in here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sean pouted like a child while others laughed at his expense. “Laugh all you want,” he told them grumpily. “You’ll see soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“More like when pigs fly,” Sadie snorted into her bottle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John Marston settling down,” Javier said after another round of laughs and drinks. “Never thought I would see that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Neither do I,” John admitted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you gonna do for a living?” Pearson asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I ain’t sure yet, I’ll ask around town. Maybe they will need help rebuilding the saloon?” he chuckled and others joined him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll give you some money,” Dutch offered instantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John looked at him suspiciously. “I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You deserve it,” Dutch insisted. “Your last score was a success, you got money out of it. You gotta get your share.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Dutch was putting it that way…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine, but just that.” Getting additional money would feel like he owed Dutch something. “Nothing more than what Micah got from the fire.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah himself didn’t look like he was fond of that idea. He sat at the edge of the gathering, either excluded by everyone or by himself. He didn’t talk or laugh, only drank. If he wasn't in John’s direct line of sight, John wouldn’t even have seen him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their eyes met and Micah glared at him for a long time before turning his gaze away. John wondered what was sitting in this bastard’s head but that wasn’t important right now. He had more friendly people to talk to and many beers to drink. The night was still young!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The party grew bigger with the amount of beer the gang was drinking. Once everyone was very much tipsy and Javier and Uncle started playing on their instruments, the dancing started. John danced with every girl in the gang, feeling jealous looks others were giving him during every dance. With Sadie, he even danced twice, once to a slower music and other time to something faster, their elbows hooked as they skipped in circle while the rest of the gang chanted to the melody and clasped, soon joining them with their own pairs. Girls with girls, men with men, men with girls, it didn’t matter. After so many beers, everyone just wanted to dance, have fun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone but Micah, who John lost sight of at some point during dancing but he didn’t bother to locate the other man again, first to invested in trying to dip laughing Molly and not drop her to the ground during the dance with her, and later just joking around with others around the fire, when everyone was too exhausted to dance anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While he had an occasion, John asked Sadie, Lenny and Charles to come visit Arthur tomorrow so he could see them last time. Only Hosea was left to ask but John quickly got the opportunity when the older man went to rest from the party, too old to keep up with younglings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” John greeted him by Dutch’s tent where Hosea retreated to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about me,” the older man dismissed him right away while rubbing at his ear with a pained expression. “Need to stay away from all the noise for a while.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not why I came to you, but good to know you’re okay.” John sat next to Hosea and looked with him at the party. “It was a good idea,” he said. “The party,” he explained, noticing Hosea’s questioning expression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes it was,” the older man sighed, rubbing at his legs. “Dutch is already trying to get back at your side. The party, offering you your share like it doesn’t belong to you and it’s just his generosity.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both chuckled. “He needs to do more than that,” John noticed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Those things need time,” Hosea pointed out. “He’ll have plenty of that while traveling without you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” They didn’t talk for a while, just watched others having fun. Lenny and Charles were arm wrestling and Lenny couldn’t win even using two of his hands, and with Sean cheering for him. John wondered how well he would do. “Arthur wants to see you tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll visit,” Hosea promised with a smile. “I’ll go with you in the morning, help you move some of your things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not necessary, but thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m doing it so I don’t catch you and Arthur having sex.” John blushed while Hosea laughed and brought him to a hug. John didn’t wait to return it. “I'm gonna miss you, boy,” Hosea sighed into his arm. “But I’m proud you’re doing this. I want you safe, loved and happy, alright? Can you do that for me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he choked out, tears already prickling in his eyes. “I love you, Hosea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hosea rubbed at his back. “Love you too, son. Love you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John didn’t let go for a while, relishing in his father’s embrace while he still could. He wished at least Hosea could stay with him. He was old, he deserved retirement from outlaw’s life and the sea air was good for his lungs. Staying, he could get to know Arthur better and John would still have his father by his side, a piece of familiarity in his new life. But John knew Hosea wouldn’t leave Dutch. Without him, Dutch would be too lost, he needed someone to keep him grounded and away from stupid ideas like robbing some big man’s train or going further east after Blackwater. Who knows what would’ve happened to them if they did that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So no, John wasn't going to take away the only person who could keep this gang safe. Without Hosea, Micah would have too much influence over Dutch. He already proved he had.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll be alright without me?” John asked, finally moving away from the embrace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re big boys, we’ll do fine,” Hosea assured. “Why? Having cold feet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John laughed nervously. “No, I’m confident as ever.” He sighed and looked around for Micah but found only Baylock. His eyes moved to the next arm wrestling match, this time between Charles and Sadie, who was using her good arm. “Just worried, that’s all. Micah is… I feel like he’s a rat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do you think that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hosea wasn’t asking because he didn’t believe John, he just wanted profs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t be sure but he left before the last robbery,” John pointed out. “The kid that alarmed the sheriff, he knew about what we’ve been doing and when. Someone had to tell him and it sure as hell wasn't me, Sadie or Bill.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you have no real proof?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John shook his head and sighed in frustration. “No,” he confirmed. “Maybe I should stay a little longer?” he suggested. “Keep an eye on him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll keep an eye on Micah, you stay here with Arthur.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure?” He really didn’t want to leave his friends with that snake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hosea smiled reassuringly. “I’m sure, this is not your problem anymore. And I can handle Micah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, if you are sure. Write to me when you finally kill the bastard?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Marston!” Bill shouted, interrupting them. Next to him, Sadie and Charles were done with their game, both rubbing at their no doubt aching forearms but John had no idea who won. “Wanna do some arm wrestling?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure!” he shouted back and stood up. “Gotta go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have fun, I’ll go to sleep,” Hosea informed and entered Dutch’s tent further, closing it behind himself.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>John nodded at him and jogged back to the party, excited for some fun. He could take on Bill.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He definitely couldn’t take on Bill, Charles, Sadie and surprisingly Uncle. But he won with Javier, Lenny, Sean and Karen so he felt proud of himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The party kept going and alcohol flew quickly. Some of the gang members like Abigail, Jack and Susan retreated for the night shortly after Hosea, others continued their fun, but quieter to not disturb others. With everyone drunk, nobody could really play any music and they made Uncle shut up so he didn’t wake Jack. All they could do was sit around the fire, joke and talk about robberies they all committed over the years.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was pretty drunk when he saw Micah again, hovering behind Bill like a creep. Shaking his head, John put his attention back to Sadie, who was just talking about a hunting story from her time when she was Jake’s friend. Alcohol made her talk about her deceased husband more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With the corner of his eyes, John saw Bill leaving, but before he could ask where he was going, everyone erupted in a loud laughter and he just forgot what was on his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The party eventually died around 4am. John somehow managed to return to his tent and to his bed, even though he was sure he crashed into everything on his way there. Shit, he wasn't planning to stay up for so long, he promised Arthur to be back in the morning but he needed to sleep for at least eight hours now to look even remotely alive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slept for only two before he was violently pulled away from it by a sudden sound. John woke up startled and looked around, trying to identify the noise while his brain was still sleepy and stupidly drunk. The pounding in his head was going to make it explode.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But the pain and confusion quickly went away when an inhuman screech reached his ears and he sobered up in an instant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Arthur,” he realized, horrified and jumped out of bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John sprinted to the gathering in the middle of the camp, wanting to reach the center of the circle and hoping it was some other merperson there. His hope only lasted for a few seconds before Hosea’s distressed voice reached John. “For god’s sake, Micah, leave him alone, you’re hurting him!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good, that monster deserves to be hurt! Damn freak!” Micah replied and Arthur screeched in pain right after a loud thud.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John pushed himself between the praying Reverend and shocked Tilly, and stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of helpless and terrified Arthur, desperately trying to protect himself from Micah and Bill’s cruel attacks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fuck, how did he got here? </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So yeah, I'm sorry? But also have fun waiting for the next chapter lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. My Lover</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>John knew he should do something, stop this cruelty, but he felt stuck. He couldn’t move, in too much shock to react, and watched how Micah and Bill continued to torment Arthur. They kept their distance, aware how dangerous the merman could be, and so Micah used some long stick to hit him with it, aiming everywhere where he thought would hurt the most, that meant back and the nape of his neck. The stick already left many red marks on Arthur’s skin and even broke it in some places.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But the worst was his face, half of it in blood because of the stones Bill was throwing at him. Their attacks were restless, Arthur wasn’t even fighting back, he was simply trying to hide but he couldn’t. There was nowhere to run while being attacked from two sides simultaneously, he always had his back to one of them. And he couldn’t just crawl away either because of the rest of the gang, ready to draw their guns if he came even close to them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur tried to scare them, making himself look even bigger than he already was by unfolding his fins, as well as screeching and showing his fangs but the only one he was scaring was the girls and Jack, who cried watching all this despite Abigail trying to shield him from the tortures.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because that’s what it was. A torture. And Micah was finding sick fun in it. John looked at the satisfied look on his face when he hit Arthur again, causing the merman to screech painfully and something finally snapped in him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John rushed to the older man and before he could strike again, he pushed him away. Micah still dropped his hand with force, the stick in his hands colliding with John's arm before it was out of reach when Bell lost his footing due to the shove.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John grunted in pain but that’s it. He stood between Micah and Arthur, hearing that Bill stopped as well when he couldn’t attack from the back anymore. Everything suddenly went quiet, only Jack's soft distressed cries and Arthur’s loud panting was heard. Until John's threatening whisper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stay away from him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah blinked at him, confused. And then a devilish smirk appeared on his face. “Glad you joined us, Marston,” he chuckled. He tried to walk around John and got to Arthur but John moved with him, not letting him pass. “Look what I found in the forest when I was looking for your lady to see if she was really worth leaving the gang.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Was Arthur really that drunk yesterday that he tried to follow John and ended in the forest?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John looked back at him but the merman was focused only on Bill now, letting out a low hiss that was making the man slightly frightened. Not so tough now when Micah wasn't helping him distract Arthur.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John looked back at the other man, wanting to throw up when all he saw in his eyes was joy. “Don’t you touch him ever again,” John repeated his threat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah furrowed his brows in confusion. And he wasn’t the only one puzzled, John heard some of the others murmuring among themselves. “What is up to you?” Micah asked. “I know you liked animals but monsters too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John gritted his teeth. “He’s not a monster!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah snorted. “Could’ve fooled me, certainly look like one,” he noticed with another smirk. He tried to take a look at Arthur but John blocked his view again. “Thought we could sell it to some circus or museum, you know? Get some cash for it, right, Dutch?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah turned to the leader who was too confused to even answer. He was staring at Arthur in disbelief and only for a moment looked at John, asking for answers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You won’t sell him anywhere,” John informed Micah, taking a step towards the older man. “You leave him alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah glared at him. “Why do you…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bill, don’t get too close!” someone shouted suddenly. John and Micah both looked at the other man and saw him stepping closer to Arthur, too close for the merman's comfort. Arthur turned with the speed of an attacking viper, swiping his tail at Bill and knocking him off his feet. The gang let out a collective gasp of shock and terror but it was quickly silenced by Arthur’s screech as he lunged himself at Bill who tried to crawl away in panic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit!” Micah cursed and with the corner of his eyes, John saw him reaching for the gun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John threw himself at Micah without hesitation and just as the barrel of his gun was pointed at Arthur, who already stopped his attack, John knocked Micah’s hand up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The revolver in his hand shot in the sky and everything went quiet again. The silence was broken by John’s fist connecting with Micah’s face and knocking him down with ease. Micah fell to the ground with a yell and John stood above him, his chest heaving with quick breaths of anger and fear. “I told you to leave him alone!” he shouted and kicked away the revolver that ended on the ground, falling off Micah’s grip when the man collapsed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell, Marston?!” the older man shouted and touched his already swelling jaw. “It was trying to kill Bill!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was a false attack!” John clenched his fists, wanting nothing more than to throw another punch, not only for hurting Arthur but for everything else. But that wasn’t important right now. “You point your gun at him again and I’ll fucking shot you myself!” John warned him in the end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah didn’t acknowledge it and John didn’t wait for him to do so. He turned to Arthur instead. Seeing the merman curled in fear because of the gunshot made John’s heart break. He quickly rushed to his lover, needing to make sure he was alright and to offer much needed comfort.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John ,what are you doing?!” Dutch yelled, frightened. “Don’t get close to that thing!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dutch, it’s okay,” Hosea assured him, making sure that Dutch wasn't going to pull his own gun, which he clearly wanted to. Charles, Sadie and Lenny were doing the same with the rest of the gang when they too reached their hands to their holsters, even if unconsciously, as John stepped closer to Arthur.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The merman looked up at him, the side of his face still bleeding but John wasn’t worried much about that one, face wounds always bleed badly. He was more worried about potential concussion. “Hey,” he said softly, crouching next to the merman. “You okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He asked and at the same time looked his lover over. He had some nasty bruises, both from getting hit by the stick and stones, some bleeding, others just swollen. Even his tail had some cuts and it was dirty with ground. It looked too dry as well, missing a bunch of scales in some places.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John felt his heart clench uncomfortably at the thought of Micah and Bill dragging Arthur on the ground to get him in the camp. Hopefully nothing was broken or permanently damaged and that was the end of his injuries.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur blinked his black eyelids away, showing off the gorgeous blues hidden behind them, now tainted with fear. His fangs went away too and he clearly relaxed with John so close. John got even closer, ignoring his friends murmurs or gaps of shock as he sat next to Arthur and lifted the hem of his shirt to clean the blood from his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur hissed with pain. “I’ll be fine,” he assured.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell?” someone whispered around them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It talks!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell happened?” John asked, continuing to ignore what they were causing with their behavior. He didn’t care, he only cared about Arthur being okay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I might have got up the cliff,” Arthur explained bashfully and jerked his head away with another hiss when John found the reason for all the bleeding. He quickly cut off the part of his shirt and pressed it to the wound, telling Arthur to hold it tight while he took care of cleaning the rest of his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You moron,” John chuckled despite being terrified by what Arthur did. “I told you to stay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To be honest, it seemed like a good idea when I got it,” the merman justified himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I bet it was, you drunk fool.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>God, he shouldn’t have left Arthur alone and drunk. It was practically his fault.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I fell asleep then,” Arthur continued the story. “Something woke me up but when I raised my head I felt pain and then there was nothing. Next thing I know I woke up here with my head pulsing and new injuries being added by these two.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John tried to make his hands not to shake too much when he realized Micah knocked Arthur unconscious. It could’ve been worse. Micah could’ve killed Arthur on the spot and drag his body here instead of the alive merman. John shuddered, glad that it didn’t end like that but it wasn’t changing the fact that he made it possible. Micah didn’t even find the bay, Arthur would’ve been safe if John made sure he was going to stay there instead of following John.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John opened his mouth to apologize, but Dutch gently saying his name interrupted him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John?” Both Arthur and John turned to look at the man who stepped closer but still kept his distance, either out of fear or because it was a reasonable thing to do. John was glad for it, because Arthur got tense again. John grabbed his wrist to calm him and waited for the leader to say more, but Dutch had trouble forming words, he just stared at Arthur, not believing he was real. John would’ve laughed at his face in any other circumstance but right now he wasn’t in the mood for laughing. “What is going on? What is this creature?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John didn’t think the time to explain Arthur to his friend would arrive like this. He thought it would be on his terms and certainly not with Arthur getting hurt earlier. But it arrived and there was no point in avoiding it or coming up with lies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s a merman,” he answered. “His name is Arthur.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t know they were real,” Pearson answered for Dutch. The cook watched Arthur with fascination.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He talks,” Javier pointed out. “I heard you talking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John nodded. “He talks,” he confirmed, rubbing his thumb over Arthur’s pulse point on his wrist. It was fast, but not worryingly so. “He’s not some monster.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Horseshit,” Micah groaned, getting up from the ground. He glared at John and Arthur and then turned to Dutch. “Come on, Dutch, you saw what that thing tried to do. It almost ate Bill. It’s not human.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Funny, I could say the same thing about you,” Arthur snarled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up you freaking piece of…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John,” Dutch said again, stopping Micah from finishing. “What… How…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I found him on the first day here,” John explained, not knowing if that’s what Dutch wanted to ask but he might as well start from the very beginning. “He saved my life when I fell into the water. He’s not dangerous.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, we saw that just a moment ago,” Micah snickered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He tried to protect himself from you!” John snapped at the man and quickly took a deep breath to calm himself. He faced Dutch again. “Dutch, you gotta believe me,” he said to the leader, pleading.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You found yourself some pet and now you’re trying to protect it,” Micah mocked him. “That’s cute. But Dutch-” he addressed the older man. “-think about all the money we could get for that thing! We would be rich.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t sell him or kill him, Dutch,” John spoke again. Dutch stared between him and Micah, considering. “He’s…” John hesitated, the one word that was describing Arthur’s relationship with him stuck in his throat. But one look at the merman and hope on his face was enough to encourage John to finish. There was no point in lying. “He’s my lover,” he finished without stuttering and connected his and Arthur’s foreheads together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur’s hand found its way to the nape of his neck and rested there, mindlessly playing with John’s hair as they closed their eyes and breathed in in each other’s calming presences.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was deaf to what was happening around them, focused only at the merman and his steady breathing he felt on his face. If they were going to be shot right now because of what they were to each other, so be it. He was ready as long as he had Arthur by his side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But no one shot them, nobody even said a word, Dutch was first and it was so blank John couldn’t help but laugh when he heard a simple ‘what’ choked out on his right.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He opened his eyes and looked at Dutch confused face. Behind him, Hosea nodded, showing his support. John wrapped his arm around Arthur and spoke: “There is no woman,” he said, not only to Dutch but to everyone. “There was never a woman. I was visiting Arthur all this time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You called him your lover,” Sean pointed out. “Did you hit your head, Johnny boy?” he asked in a poor attempt at humor. “I mean, I would understand if it was some pretty mermaid but…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t hit my head,” he assured in a confident voice. He wanted everyone to be sure it wasn’t some joke or that he wasn’t a lunatic that should end up in asylum. Or with a bullet to his head. “I like both men and women and I fell in love with Arthur.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In love,” Micah repeated with a snort. “It’s not even human. Come on Dutch, you don’t believe in that do you? Marston just wants to keep that creature for himself to get lots of money for himself and his whore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John is not lying, Dutch,” Charles stepped forward. Lenny and Sadie quickly followed him. John smiled gratefully at them. “We saw Arthur that day you sent us after John. He’s telling the truth.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s strange, but it’s true,” Sadie confirmed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We never saw a woman, we only saw Arthur then,” Lenny added. “John told us they were lovers back then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can confirm that too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hosea?” Dutch turned to his closest friend, confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I too met Arthur before,” Hosea revealed. “There is no woman, it never was.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s lying!” Micah accused Hosea. “They all are. You can’t tell me you believe Marston fell in love with that thing!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Call him a ‘thing’ one more time…” John growled. “And I’ll make sure you won’t say a thing ever again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s threatening me!” Micah complained to Dutch like a kid. “You can’t allow that!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up, Micah!” Hosea snapped before addressing Dutch again. He laid a hand on Dutch’s shoulder gently. “Come on, old friend. Don’t make the same mistake again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dutch stared at John and Arthur, his face blank. John wished he could see what was going in the older man’s head right now, who he was close to believing, him or Micah again. He hoped it wasn't going to be Micah again. John wouldn’t survive another heartbreak like that. If he and Arthur would live long enough for him to experience it again.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It seemed like forever before Dutch even blinked. He turned his head and looked at Grimshaw who, just like the rest of the gang not aware of Arthur's existence before, was still very confused and even frightened. “Ms. Grimshaw, I believe… Arthur needs some medicine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Micah grunted in anger and walked away while John let out a breath of relief and hugged Arthur closer to himself, kissing the top of his head. The merman relaxed as well and sagged against him, nuzzling his face in the curve of John’s neck. They were okay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Dutch,” Susan answered, unsure but still went to do what Dutch asked of her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you need anything else for him, John?” Dutch asked him next, smiling at him warmly. There was still something tight in his expression wherever he was looking at Arthur but that was to be expected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Some water if it’s okay,” he answered, looking at Arthur's tail with worry. “Preferably a whole barrel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m on it,” Charles offered. “Pearson, will you help me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wha… Yes, of course,” the cook answered and went with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The others stayed in their places, still puzzled but now more curious than scared. They watched Arthur with fascination, which was making the merman uncomfortable. John held him tight against himself as they waited for Susan and Charles and Pearson to return.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jack, come back here!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John snapped his head to the sound of Abigail’s panicked voice. Somehow the boy escaped her hold and walked towards him and Arthur, frightened but curious like everyone else. Abigail wanted to follow despite her own fear, she eyed Arthur with panic, as if expecting him to maul the boy in front of her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John raised his hand to stop her. “It’s okay,” he assured with a comforting smile. Abigail was clearly fighting with her motherly instincts to protect her child as Jack got even closer. Arthur raised his head from where he was hiding it and blinked at the child, confused. “He won’t hurt him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John extended his hand to Jack and brought the boy closer, tucking him against his left side, opposite to Arthur. Jack clutched to him as he and Arthur stared at each other. “Hi,” the merman said eventually, sending the boy a friendly smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack whimpered and curled closer into John, either scared or just shy. Abigail watched it horrified. “Are you a monster?” Jack asked innocently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur chuckled softly, not even slightly offended. “I can look like one, ain’t I?” In a matter of a seconds, the merman’s black eyes and fangs were back. Jack gasped and hid further into John’s embrace. John smiled down at him, gently rubbing his arm to assure him he was safe. “But don’t worry, I won’t hurt you. You’re Jack, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” Jack got a little braver when Arthur didn’t jump at him to gobble him up. The boy moved slightly away from John to look at the merman better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur hid his fangs and returned his eyes to blue before he smiled at the kid. “My name is Arthur.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, Arthur,” Jack greeted him, the tension leaving his body. John took a look at Abigail who seemed to be relaxing as well. Same with the others, who were as much worried about Jack getting hurt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I heard a lot about you,” Arthur admitted. “John talked about you and your mom.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack’s eyes grew bigger. He moved forward, putting his hands on John’s leg to look over them at Arthur. “Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur nodded with another chuckle. “Sure,” he confirmed. “He talked about all of you. You’re his family, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” the boy answered eagerly, climbing John’s lap. Arthur moved away to give him more space. He didn’t even flinch when Jack reached a hand towards him, he just offered his in return, watching fondly how the boy grabbed and examined it. “You have long nails.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To hunt fish in the water,” Arthur explained. “And to protect myself. They’re very sharp.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like cat’s claws?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, I guess.” Arthur grinned, watching Jack playing with the web between his fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re weird,” Jack decided after a moment. John smiled when he heard the rest of the gang laughing nervously if a bit fondly. “Where are your legs?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have legs, I have a tail instead.” Arthur curled it and brought his tail fin closer to the boy, spreading and folding it at will. Jack gasped, amazed. “See? I can swim very fast because of that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish I could swim,” Jack admitted, shyly reaching to touch the fin. He giggled when Arthur folded it at the touch and wrapped the tip of the tail around his wrist gently, shaking it as if they were greeting. “Did you know uncle John can’t swim too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know a thing or two about that,” he answered and looked at blushing John.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack didn’t notice, too captivated by Arthur’s tail and his blue scales. “Momma, look!” he shouted to Abigail, grinning at her. “It’s so pretty!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Abigail smiled tightly at him, still not entirely comfortable with her son being so close to Arthur. “That’s nice, sweetie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once again, Jack was completely oblivious to what the adults were going through. To him Arthur was something new and exciting. And once he got past his fears, he didn’t even mind the merman’s strange appearance. “It’s like a snake,” the boy giggled when Arthur loosened his grip and let go of his wrist, the tail dropping on the ground. “I like you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s very kind of you,” Arthur replied with a big grin. “I like you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack grinned back. “Can you stay with us and teach me how to swim?” he asked hopefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m afraid it’s impossible,” John informed the boy. “Remember when I told you I’ll be staying with someone I love very much?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was talking about Arthur. He and I are gonna to live together on the beach.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Jack pouted, disappointed. “Can I still visit, uncle John? You said I could visit. Arthur could teach me how to swim then!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re always welcome at my bay,” Arthur promised him. “I will show you lots of fish. And dolphins, a whale and even a shark.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack gasped at that and bolted towards his mother. “Momma, Arthur is going to show me a shark!” he shouted, excited.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John laughed at Abigail’s horrified expression but quickly shut up when she glared at him. “We’ll think about it,” she said, hoisting the boy in her arms and hugging him close.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Charles, Susan and Pearson were back a long time ago but they didn’t want to interrupt Jack so only now they approached. Unlike with the boy, Arthur tensed at the presence of strangers, he only didn’t react to Charles who, with Pearson’s help, poured the water at his tail.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John didn’t mind he was hit by it as well, he was glad that the water made Arthur sigh in relief and move his tail happily. Once done with that, Susan approached next, with Swanson in tow. The latter was still shocked, maybe he even thought he was still drunk and had hallucinations.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do I… heal a merman?” Susan asked, staring at Arthur’s side fins that were shaking nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s very much a human everywhere above the hips,” John replied to her. “We’ll do it together, give me the alcohol.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goddamn it, it hurts!” Arthur hissed when John started sanitizing the wound on his head. Susan jumped, startled, when Arthur’s whole body jerked with the sting. “You sure it helps?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t have your magical seaweed unfortunately.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m surprised you survived so long without it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled. It was good to hear Arthur joke after such a tense situation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He, Susan and Swanson worked quietly together. The rest of the gang scattered around a little but still stayed close, watching a real merman with their own eyes in fascination. John could even feel Micah’s hate filled gaze on himself all the time, the other man still close too apparently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could hear his friends talking as well. About Arthur and both of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you believe that?” Till hushed to other girls. “John in love with a sea creature?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I can’t blame him. You saw that merman’s face when he looked more human, right?” Mary-Beth giggled. John discretely looked at her to not scare the girls into silence. He wanted them to talk, to embrace the news, discussing it to get more comfortable with it. He noticed she played with the necklace they made her together. “God, and I helped them reconcile once!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Karen asked, leaning against Sean who apparently joined them at some point instead of sitting with the boys.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, there was some misunderstanding between them,” Mary-Beth explained. “But I thought Arthur was a woman then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled fondly. Because of Mary-Beth everything started. She helped a lot that day and he was still grateful to her for that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who would have thought,” Sean chuckled. “Our Johnny in love with a merman. It’s like some silly fairy tale!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s so romantic,” Mary-Beth sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s sweet,” Tilly agreed. “Even if Arthur is a bit frightening.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wonder if he has a sister.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John snorted when he heard who he believed was Karen shoving Sean to the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Somewhere by their tent, Jack was excitedly talking to Abigail about all he wanted to see in the water thanks to Arthur. Charles, Sadie and Lenny were explaining the situation more to Javier, Strauss, Kieran, Molly and Pearson. Bill wasn’t with them, he was alone, John noticed, staring right at Arthur, thinking. John could almost see the smoke escaping his ears and smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hosea was with Dutch in the leader’s closed tent, probably discussing something as well. John wondered if Hosea was talking about Bessie and what she really was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When John looked around again, Bill wasn’t in his place anymore but John found him quickly, right next to them. He kept staring at Arthur.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we help you with something, Mr. Williamson?” Susan asked, annoyed by his presence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was you trying to eat me?” Bill asked, ignoring Susan’s question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me?” Arthur asked back, surprised.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bill shifted on his feet. “Back when you knocked me to the ground,” he clarified. “You jumped at me and I'm not gonna lie, I almost pissed my pants.” John choked on a laugh. “Was you trying to eat me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Arthur answered, his brows furrowed in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, okay.” Bill shifted again. “Then I guess you’re okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John stopped working Arthur’s wound already but now Susan and Swanson joined him as well. With Arthur, they all stared at Bill who blushed under the unwanted attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um… Thank you?” Arthur answered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bill nodded. “You’re welcome,” he said grumpily and walked away, joining Javier and the others to hear what Arthur was exactly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The merman watched him walk away. “Is he always like that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Always,” Swanson responded and looked at Arthur then. “Forgive me but what are you, really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A merman.” Arthur had no idea what question was that. John didn’t either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not a demon sent by a God to test me, are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh hush, Reverend,” Susan scolded him. “We wouldn’t all see your hallucination with you. He’s real, as strange as it is. And he is no demon, even if he looked like one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I needed to ask,” Swanson explained. “God works in mysterious ways.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure he wouldn’t send you a merman to warn you about your sins,” John chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reverend hummed in agreement and continued working.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Few more minutes and Arthur was patched up. He needed a stitch or two on his temple but the rest of the wounds just needed sanitization and rubbing a healing salve into them. Just till Arthur could get back to the water and use his own medicine. Susan offered him something for the pain too but Arthur refused, already feeling better, only his head was still pounding, probably from Micah knocking him out and Bill hitting him with the rock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As on cue, Dutch and Hosea left the tent of the former. Dutch seemed angry at something but his gaze softened when it fell on John and Arthur, left alone by Susan and Swanson already. John once again held his lover against himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How about you tell us a whole story, John?” Dutch asked. “If you two don’t mind that is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John and Arthur shared a look and the merman shrugged. John smiled at him before turning back to Dutch. “I would love to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John invited the rest of the gang too and he started talking, only avoiding the subject of Arthur eating corpses, being part human and their sex life. But he didn’t hide anything else and he felt relieved finally saying all of that to his father and friends. No more hiding secrets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They didn’t interrupt him much, only to ask a couple of questions here and there. Arthur helped with the story as well, explaining more about himself but not about other merpeople. In fact, they both didn’t mention other members of Arthur’s species. As much as John trusted some of the gang members, he wouldn’t dare to share something like that with the others. It was better for Arthur and all the colonies around the world if people didn’t know where to find merpeople. Especially Micah, who was listening as well, still bitter and angry that his plan to sell Arthur wasn’t accepted by Dutch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they finished their story, almost all of the gang congratulated John and told him how happy they were for him. Almost, because Micah would sooner shoot himself than told John something like that. And Bill and Strauss didn’t really care.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” John told everyone, touched by the acceptance. It was bigger and meant much more than what happened yesterday. Last night everyone believed he was just leaving them for a woman, today they found out it was not only a man, but not even human. Yet they still accepted him. Sure, Sean joked John was strange and sick in the head, and it was clear not every one of them understood what was happening, it was just too surreal for them at the moment. But they didn’t push him away anyway. And they were really friendly towards Arthur once they realized he was no monster.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John couldn’t have asked for a better family.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t mention it, big guy,” Karen chuckled. “We always knew you was strange, this is just another thing. And you caught yourself a pretty fish, so it’s not even that strange. Tho I wonder how you… play.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wonder about that too!” Sean exclaimed suddenly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John laughed, with a blush on his face. “I’m not telling any of you that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure I would even want to hear that,” Javier noticed and winked at John.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He awkwardly laughed in return before settling his gaze at Arthur, already looking at him with a smile. He didn’t stop the merman when he leaned closer and placed a chaste kiss on John’s lips, not bothered by other people’s presence or how some of them started whistling and the others told them to go somewhere private.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was bothered for about half a second before he enthusiastically returned the kiss, grinning into it. To hell with the others, there was nothing to be ashamed of and he wanted his friends to see how serious he was about this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The kiss didn’t last long but they still ended it with a gasp and rested their foreheads together again. “I love you,” John said loud and clear and without hesitation, for everyone to hear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John heard Sean and Lenny fake gagging and one of the girls, probably Mary-Beth letting out a fond ‘aww’ at their display of affection.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John’s face flushed pink but his smile grew as the merman kissed him again, just a short peck. “Love you too,” he said just as loud.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John wasn't ashamed when he giggled stupidly. He was so happy right now, he was starting a new life in just a moment and his family finally knew the whole truth. “We should get you back to the ocean,” he noticed. The water from earlier helped but it wasn't going to last forever. “Think we can borrow one of the wagons?” he asked Dutch after Arthur agreed with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” the older man replied with a grin. Hosea standing behind him looked proud. “We’ll help you pack and take you there, what do you say?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John returned Dutch’s smile. “Sounds good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dutch gave an order to prepare the wagon and pack John’s things on it but to leave some place for Arthur as well. They took one of the covered ones so no one on the road could be able to notice who was riding on the back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With everyone busy, John and Arthur were left with Dutch alone. It was awkward for both of them, and for Arthur too, because he was sensing John’s nerves. John decided to do something about it. He stood up slowly and walked closer to his father. “Thank you, Dutch,” he said to the older man. “For not going with Micah’s plan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dutch shook his head. “There is nothing to thank me for,” he said, guilty. “I did the right thing. The only thing I should take into consideration. Something I should’ve done the last time as well.” John smiled sadly at him. “I’m sorry, John. For not believing you back then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” This was nothing new to say but he needed to say it again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no bitterness on Dutch’s face when he wasn’t forgiven again. John wasn’t ready yet but it was a start in the right direction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They smiled at each other again and then Dutch walked away, hurrying some of the gang members so they could pack John quicker. John and Arthur were left alone, still in the middle of the camp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?” Arthur asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I ain’t the one who got hit on the head,” John reminded him and sat back down next to his merman. “Twice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah well, I ain’t the one whose father broke his heart.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” he assured and looked towards Dutch. “We’ll be fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad.” Arthur brushed his cheek with his fingers and placed another kiss on John’s lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too,” he sighed and kissed back for a few seconds. “I’m sorry. That you got hurt because of me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He needed to say this, he felt responsible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur moved back and watched him, confused. “For what? Getting me drunk?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should’ve made sure you wouldn’t do something stupid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew well enough how dumb people can get while drunk. And Arthur wasn’t even used to it.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur smiled reassuringly at him. “I’m a grown boy, my stupid decisions are on me.” John stared into his lover's eyes as the merman cupped his face in his palms gently. “You did nothing wrong wanting to be with your friends. I shouldn’t have followed you but stay in the bay like you told me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John tried to keep the eye contact but he failed and let his eyelids close as he released a quivering breath and took one of Arthur’s hands in his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You could’ve died,” he pointed out, shaking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I didn’t.” Arthur held him then, threading his other hand in John’s hair, calming him. “I only got scared a lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Behind his closed eyes, John still could see Arthur’s terrified expression, and his screeches echoed in his ears. Even over an hour after it ended, it was still making his heart bleed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He opened his eyes again and choked on his breath when he spotted fear in Arthur’s blue irises. “It’s okay now,” he assured, gently caressing the merman’s face. “You’re safe. God, I'm so glad you are. I got so scared when your screech woke me up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur didn’t say anything to that, they just held each other, bringing much needed comfort. John wasn’t the one in danger but it still made him feel safe now being in the merman’s embrace. He nuzzled closer into Arthur, feeling the weak heat of his body, his breath on his ear, when suddenly a cold shiver ran down his spine, making him jolt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John?” Arthur asked, concerned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John didn’t answer, he opened his eyes and over Arthur’s shoulder, he spotted Micah watching them from a distance, his eyes cold, empty and face grim. John glared back at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur finally sensed this as well and looked back. When he spotted Micah, he let out a deep, rumbling sound from the depth of his chest and unsheathed his fangs at the man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It finally seemed to make Micah move and he walked away, leaving the camp’s ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What a creep,” Arthur commented.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” John agreed and brought Arthur closer again. He wished he could do something more to Micah than just punch him. Too bad he wasn't going to have a second chance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When everything was ready to go, John, Charles and Bill helped Arthur climb the wagon. His tail was much longer than it so he had to curl it to fit it there. Tilly covered it with a blanket to make sure nobody would be able to see it. Just as she finished doing that and Arthur thanked her, Jack climbed into the back of the wagon and sat next to a merman, giggling at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to see you swim,” the boy explained when Hosea asked him what he was doing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does your momma know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He didn’t want to listen to me when I said no,” Abigail explained, arriving next to the wagon. “So I’m going with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before John could offer her a horse, she was already climbing after her son. “Sorry,” she mumbled when she stepped on Arthur’s tail. “You take a lot of space.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack wasn't the only one wanting to go. The girls, Sean and Pearson joined as well. Others wanted too but Dutch decided it would be too dangerous with the deputies patrolling the area. So the rest of the gang stayed in the camp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After Lenny, Sadie and Charles bid their goodbye to Arthur, and John did the same with all of his friends(except Micah), even to Kieran, who was very surprised when he got a hug like everyone else, they could finally head towards the ocean, with Hosea and Dutch driving the wagon. John and the others riding along on their horses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The trip was filled with questions from Jack who was stopping talking only when he listened to Arthur answering him various questions about merpeople and ocean. John rode behind the wagon for a while, watching his lover and the boy interacting and unfortunately, he also was graced by Abigail’s disapproving gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hurried to the front of the wagon then, not wanting for her to look at him like that. Thank god he wasn’t going with them because John had a feeling she would kill him for making her son interested in the dangerous ocean.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, John.” John turned to Mary-Beth joining him on his left. “I just want to say I’m really happy for you. Arthur seems like a nice fella.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He is. Best one I’ve ever met.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His friend smiled at him. “You got lucky, I could only dream of a romance like that,” she sighed dreamily. “Maybe I should live on the shore and find myself a merman too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t advise that, one will sooner eat you than fall in love with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mary-Beth chuckled. “You’re probably right.” She looked ahead for a moment as they rode in silence. Well, apart from Jack babbling on their right. “Hey, do you mind if I write about it?” she asked suddenly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“About what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your romance. It would make a great book,” she explained, already excited. “I would probably have to change Arthur for a mermaid, I don’t think society is ready for a homosexual romance yet, unless I would keep it vague so the characters in my book would seem… friends,” she joked. “I will change your name too of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, yeah, sure, go for it,” he agreed sheepishly. “That’s actually nice. I’ll be remembered by something more than my robberies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll give it for you to read it when I’m done,” she promised with a big grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John got his horse closer and grabbed the girl’s hand, squeezing it. “You better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their little caravan didn’t enter the forest. The wagon wouldn’t be able to drive there and John simply didn’t want the gang to know where to look for Arthur and him. Maybe he was paranoid but if that was going to keep Arthur safe, so be it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead, Hosea drove them to the coast not far from the town but far enough that there were no people there. They stopped the wagon at the edge of the sand, not wanting it to get stuck. Making sure one last time there was no one to witness anything strange, they helped Arthur get out and walked with him to the water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not too close, Jack!” Abigail warned the boy when he raced to the water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur was ready to go but John wanted to say goodbye first.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So I assume we won’t be seeing each other for a while now,” Hosea realized, seeing his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t want to interrupt your packing,” John explained. “And I need to get settled in Arthur’s bay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t drown, Mr. Marston.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John chuckled and gladly received the hug Pearson offered him. The man squeezed him tight, almost suffocating him. “I won’t,” he promised.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One after one, John said goodbye to everyone, getting closer and closer to shading tears, especially when he hugged crying Jack telling him to not go again. Abigail had to take him away from John because the boy refused to let go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Girls were emotional too but it was Sean who cried next after Jack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Told you you would miss me,” John told him when they hugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, shut up, Scarface,” he choked out. “Yes, I’m going to miss you, you Scottish bastard.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna miss you too, you Irish shit.” Sean laughed into his arm. “Don’t get shot into another leg.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sean moved away, cockiness visible on his face. “What do I tell you, nothing can stop Sean Maguire! I would survive even a bullet to the head!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John laughed. “Sure, if you say so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Next two goodbyes were really hard. John finally cried, clutching to Hosea for dear life. Hosea didn’t complain, even if it became a bit painful for him. He just held John tight and kissed him on the cheek, saying everything was going to be okay. John knew it would be but it still hurt to leave everyone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they finally let go, there was only Dutch left. The older man didn’t move for the hug, he simply extended his hand for John to shake. John grabbed it but only to bring Dutch closer, crushing him in his arms. “I love you, Dutch,” he murmured into his father’s shoulder. “I’m not forgiving you yet, but I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hesitantly, after the shock passed, Dutch returned the hug. “Love you too, John,” he said, and just like Hosea, he kissed John’s cheek before moving away. “You take care of each other, alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We will,” John promised, wiping the tears from his eyes. He smiled when he noticed them in Dutch’s eyes too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was good to meet you, Arthur,” Dutch said to the merman next. “I’m sorry it had to be in such poor circumstances and so late. But I hope I can get to know you better soon enough when we come visit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John’s family is always welcome,” the merman assured with a smile. “Except Micah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dutch laughed. “I’ll tell him to stay away. In fact, I don’t think I will have to convince him to do so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Good, John thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After Arthur and Hosea said their farewell as well, with Hosea whispering something into Arthur’s ear for only him to hear, the merman could finally return to the water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll find your way home without a compass?” Pearson asked when Arthur crawled into the waves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I ain’t helpless in the water like a human,” Arthur replied smugly and jumped into the deeper water. “See you at home, John!” he shouted before he was too far to be heard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled. He liked that name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They watched him swim away, and John was sure Arthur jumped out of the water just to please Jack who shouted in awe when the merman left the water completely only to fall into it the next moment with a big splash.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After moving John’s things onto Old Boy and another round of emotional hugs, John finally headed towards his and Arthur’s home, ready for the start of his new life.  </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Only 3 chapters left, folks! I can't believe we're almost at the end, I'm gonna miss this story! </p><p>Dutch is a good father for a change. Micha of course is always a trash.</p><p>I'm not entirely satisfied with the gangs' reaction, I worked on it for a while and something always seemed off. Maybe it's because I couldn't write everyone's reaction separately like I did with Lenny, Sadie, Charles and Hosea. But there is simply not enough time for that. Oh well, it is how it is now.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Raise and Fall</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“That we’ll be one dollar and eighty cents.”</p><p>John pulled the right amount of money from his satchel and put it on the counter. He looked outside of the window while the clerk quickly counted the coins.</p><p>“Any news when they’ll be building the new saloon?” he asked, pointing outside where wagons with planks were parked by the road.</p><p>“Thinking about joining?” the clerk asked, putting the money away in the register and pushing the groceries towards John.</p><p>John shrugged, acting indifferent. “Could use some money and I'm good at putting nails. And strong enough to carry heavy loads.”</p><p>Right now he had his money and what the gang left him from the last robbery, but it wouldn’t last forever, especially if he was going to build a house. He needed a job, maybe not a permanent one but something like helping by the construction seemed good enough for now.</p><p>“From what I heard, they’re waiting for the new owner,” the clerk explained. “It’s said he’s bringing his own workers so don’t know if he’ll find any work for you but you can try.”</p><p>John nodded. The previous owner of the saloon lost a lot of money in the fire and because of them, he couldn’t afford building a new one. Not to mention he was devastated after his son’s death. John wished things were different. He would’ve saved the boy if Micah didn’t shoot him before the fire even started.</p><p>He couldn’t even apologize for what happened without putting the blame on himself. And so the man left yesterday without hearing how sorry John was for his loss.</p><p>“That would be all?”</p><p>“Huh?” John turned back to the clerk and stared at him confused before his brain registered what was the question. “Yeah, that’s all,” he answered with a smile and put some of the groceries into his satchel, balancing the rest in his arms to carry it outside. “Thanks for the assistance, see you.”</p><p>“Come back any time,” the clerk responded friendly, waving at John as he left.</p><p>Old Boy nickered softly upon seeing him and paced in place while John packed everything into his saddlebags. “We’ll be home soon, boy,” John assured him with a pat on the shoulder, then hoisted himself into the saddle. “Alright, let’s go.”</p><p>He nudged the gelding into a trot and directed him towards the exit from the town. They passed the new sheriff on their way, some old fella that was in the army before that. Very strict and fixated on catching those responsible for the fire. He was going to be disappointed, because John wasn’t suspected even in the smallest way and the gang was gone already.</p><p>Dutch and the others left three days ago, a day after John left them. There was no point in sitting here any longer and deputies were getting closer and closer to finding their camp. So they packed up and in an hour they were gone, going north.</p><p>John only knew about all this because Hosea came by in the morning to say goodbye one last time, telling him where they were leaving and promising to write once they’ll be safe in the new place. John was going to start checking the post office soon to see if he had a letter already. He only left the gang four days ago but he was missing them like crazy and couldn’t wait to hear how everyone was doing. He hoped they were safe, both from the law and Micah.</p><p>They got to be. Hosea promised to keep an eye on that rat, John had to believe everything was airtight if he didn’t want to worry too much and ruin not only his mood, but Arthur’s as well. No need to spoil their new shared life like that. They just started it, they should enjoy it.</p><p>And they were.</p><p>First day after the gang’s departure was hard, John spent all of it telling Arthur stories from the past till he was sure the merman was sick of it already, only hearing about John’s gang, their adventures and many travels. John blushed when he realized how much he was talking for the past two or three hours, practically without a stop, just jumping from one story to another. He started to apologize but Arthur told him it was fine and he loved listening to those stories. That now he had faces to match the people in them, they were even better.</p><p>So John had no reason to stop till late evening when he eventually fell asleep in Arthur’s arms.</p><p>The next day was better. Not very productive but it didn’t have to be. John’s stuff was left forgotten in exchange for fun. They swam for hours, staying near the shore where the water was warm and John didn’t have to return back to land too quickly. If someone was to tell John that one day he would enjoy the whole day in the water, not even fearing for his life but splashing and playing, then he would’ve laughed at them. But that’s exactly what happened.</p><p>It was an unfair fight for John, but not less fun as he wrestled with Arthur in the ocean, not worrying that he could drown. He wasn’t scared with Arthur by his side. He only screamed like a little girl when while resting on some lone rock sticking out above the surface, the merman suddenly grabbed him and effortlessly tossed him right back into the water. He jumped right after John and fished him up quickly, but John still cursed for a full minute before being satisfied.</p><p>And then they kissed. And kissed and kissed till their lungs burned.   </p><p>John spent so much time in the water that day that his feet and hands were all wrinkled, which Arthur thought was funny and examined them for a while when they got back to the bay to eat something.</p><p>They stayed up till late night, making love in the light of the fire, sharing gasps and moans between each other and crying into the night. While falling asleep, with Arthur already snoring softly next to him, John realized that up until now, he hadn’t thought of his family even for a second that day and he felt guilty about it.</p><p>He wondered if they were thinking about him.  </p><p>Next day was busy, spent on planning their future. They obviously couldn’t stay in the bay forever, they didn’t even unpack many of John’s things he brought with himself because it would be pointless when the flood would come. </p><p>Arthur was very excited about finding a new beach for them to leave on.</p><p>“Won’t you miss this place?” John asked him, gently stroking Arthur’s tail resting on his chest while the merman laid opposite of him, massaging his feet.</p><p>“I will,” he admitted with a sigh. “I’m happy here, and it’ll always have a special place in my heart.” Arthur took John’s feet from his chest and crawled up his body till they were aligned. “But I’ll be even happier in a new place with you where we’ll both be comfortable,” he finished with a tender kiss to John’s lips.</p><p>John hummed into it, caressing Arthur’s jaw and cheek, his stubble scratching the sensitive skin of John’s palm.  </p><p>“It would’ve been perfect if it wasn’t for the flooding,” John pointed out, staring into Arthur’s eyes.  </p><p>“But it’s not perfect.” Gently, Arthur put his body on John’s, resting comfortably on his chest. “It was perfect for me.”</p><p>John raised an eyebrow at him. “Was?”</p><p>Arthur chuckled and pecked his lips. “Need a little more now to make my life content,” he explained. “My home needs to fit you perfectly as well as myself now. And Old Boy,” he added after a second, glancing at the gelding.</p><p>John did so too, watching how his horse ate the hay he brought him this morning. “Sorry for making your home imperfect,” he apologized with a bashful smile.</p><p>“You didn’t,” the merman assured, stroking John’s cheek with his claws and looking at him fondly. “You made it even better.” Arthur grinned when John blushed bright red in response to that. “It just couldn’t be perfect for you.”</p><p>“It’s still great.” John pressed their lips together again.</p><p>“But the next one will be perfect,” the merman whispered and kissed John once more.    </p><p>John couldn’t agree more.</p><p>It was another day when he didn’t think about his family till nighttime. But he didn’t feel guilty this time. He would always miss the gang and its people but those three days were one of the happiest of his life despite his family being away. Not thinking about them didn’t mean he wasn't missing them or loved them less. If anything, it was proving that he made the right choice by staying. He adjusted. He couldn’t imagine not thinking of Arthur every second of the day if he chose to stay with Dutch and the others.</p><p>He was happy while in the gang. But now he was going to be even happier in his and Arthur’s home, wherever it would be. The gang was perfect for the old John. For new John it simply wasn’t enough, but it would still be in his heart no matter what.</p><p>OId Boy entered the forest through a new path John found while returning to the bay after releasing Arthur back to the ocean with some of the gang members. It was better than the last one, with trees not growing as dense and it made getting to the bay faster. And easier to bring hay and water for Old Boy.</p><p>John dismounted when they reached the path and led his horse down. He wasn’t leaving him up on the cliff since he wasn’t traveling much anymore.</p><p>Walking down, John took in the bay with his eyes, still not used to seeing his stuff there. It felt so strange yet so right that he couldn’t help but to smile at the sight. With a new spring in his step, he and Old Boy got all the way to the bottom.</p><p>“I’m home, darlin’!” he shouted to inform Arthur of his return.</p><p>The merman was nowhere to be seen but John knew he was somewhere in the water. He said he would take  a nap before John left to town for some supplies.</p><p>Humming, John led Old Boy to his spot under the cliff and took off the saddle and bridle from him to let him rest. “Eat up,” he told the gelding, offering him a sugar cube.  </p><p>Old Boy licked his palm clean and walked away to drink fresh water from the barrel.</p><p>“I wanted to feed him treats,” John heard behind himself.</p><p>He turned around and grinned at the sight of Arthur climbing the rocks sleepily. The merman shook off the water from his body like a wet dog, only to get himself wet again when he slipped down to the shallow water to swim to John.</p><p>“I’m sure he won’t refuse another treat,” John pointed out and started unpacking the saddle bags.</p><p>Arthur grumped something and John heard him shaking again before joining him on the beach. “You bought me candies?”</p><p>John pulled out a round and flat tin can from the saddle bag and put it on Arthur’s open palm. “I’m gonna get out of money if I keep buying you these, you know?”</p><p>Arthur rolled his eyes at him. “It’s the first time I asked you to, calm down,” he said, unscrewing the lid and eating candy right away. “Besides, you introduced me to them in the first place.”</p><p>“Oh, so it’s my fault?” John asked teasingly, taking everything in his arms to carry it to the crate by the fire that they decided to use to hold canned and fresh food.</p><p>“Pretty much, yeah,” Arthur confirmed, following John as best as he could only using one hand.</p><p>John huffed in fake offence and organized their food, then plopped down on the ground, Arthur taking a seat next to him, chewing on his sweets. “Good?” John asked him.</p><p>Arthur turned to him and smiled. He swallowed before answering. “Perfect, thank you, sweetheart.” He took another one and offered John the tin can. “Want some?”</p><p>John looked at the colorful sweets, then back at Arthur and grinned mischievously. Before the merman could ask what was going on, John brought him closer and connected their mouth.</p><p>Arthur moaned, surprised, opening his mouth just for John's tongue to slip in. Turning their heads to the sides, they let the kiss continue for a moment, their tongues stroking one another lazily.</p><p>John started it and he ended it as well, pulling away slowly. He watched Arthur fluttering his eyes open, still a bit dazed by the kiss. And when he got his lover’s full attention, John opened his mouth and showed the candy laying in the middle of his tongue.</p><p>Arthur blinked in confusion and searched with his own tongue inside his mouth for the lost sweet. John laughed at his irritated expression when the merman realized he didn’t have it anymore.</p><p>“You’re right,” John told him after closing his mouth. “It’s perfect. Really sweet.”</p><p>“You little shit,” Arthur growled, putting the rest of the candies away. John tensed in anticipation and just for more fun, he stuck his tongue at the merman, showing him the candy again. “That was mine.”</p><p>“I bought it, it’s mine,” he argued back smugly.</p><p>When Arthur turned on his front and curled his tail, John already knew he was screwed. But he still remained in place and braced for impact when the merman ejected himself at him, pushing him to the ground. But to John’s surprise, instead of wrestling him long enough to put the weight of his tail on him, Arthur simply kissed him aggressively, pressing his long tongue inside his mouth.</p><p>It wasn’t a kiss, or it wasn’t supposed to be, but in his search for the candy, both Arthur and John forgot what it was all about and just started kissing like nothing happened to lead to this. John opened his mouth wider, eager, and pressed back against Arthur’s tongue with his own.</p><p>The pressure in John’s body started growing rapidly and he pushed his hips up, rubbing them and his growing erection on Arthur’s tail, asking for more. The merman groaned and obeyed, grinding back and finding one of John’s wrist with his hand, then the second, pinning them both to the sand on both sides of John’s head while deepening their passionate kiss.</p><p>John moaned in delight and threw his leg over the merman’s tail, rutting against him hurriedly and freely as their tongues tangled inside John’s mouth, making him quickly lose his breath.</p><p>And suddenly the moment was over when John wasn’t just slightly breathless anymore but really felt his air circulation cutting out without a warning. He pushed Arthur off him and turned to his side, coughing to clear his pipes. He almost laughed when after a couple of coughs he coughed out a candy, but he was too busy with getting his breathing back to normal to laugh at it just yet.</p><p>“You okay?” Arthur asked, concerned, soothingly rubbing at his back.</p><p>“Yeah,” he breathed out and picked out a candy, showing it to Arthur, then laughed. “Think it was a bad idea to kiss with it still in my mouth.”</p><p>Arthur returned John’s laugh. “Yeah, it was,” he agreed and took John’s fingers into his mouth, sucking the candy in, not caring about the sand it was coated with.</p><p>John watched him, feeling himself blush and his cock hardening even more than it already was. Not even the brief choking could weaken his lust. </p><p>With one last lick to John’s fingers to clean them, the merman pulled away, looking at John with a heated gaze and raised eyebrow, as if daring him to do something.</p><p>So John did. He pushed Arthur to the ground and after taking off his clothes, he laid on him, kissing him briefly before pushing his fingers back into the merman’s mouth. “Geth them nice and wet for me, sunshine,” he said huskily, watching Arthur nod enthusiastically and then working his tongue and lips around the digits in his mouth, moaning softly whenever John moved them in and out “Just like that,” he praised his lover.</p><p>And when his fingers were wet enough, he replaced them with his mouth while reaching behind himself, pressing two inside his hole at once and groaning into the kiss. He worked himself open quickly and once he was ready, and so was Arthur, John rode the merman slowly, making him claw at the ground desperately.</p><p>“John, please,” he begged with a broken moan, his hips jolting up quickly to fuck John faster. But John wasn’t giving up. He smirked down at the merman, still keeping the painfully slow pace, fighting with himself whenever Arthur was pushing back deep into him. It required all of John’s self-control to not snap his ass down then and fuck himself hard and fast on that wonderfully long cock.</p><p>But seeing Arthur so helpless was so much more fun.</p><p>“Please what?” he teased, closing his eyes and parting his lips in a bliss as the cock in him slowly slid deep inside again.</p><p>“Please, make me cum,” the merman groaned, bucking without any success when John settled fully on his length and leaned down, stroking his sweat covered chest gently.</p><p>“I will, don’t you worry,” he promised and lifted his hips again. Arthur whimpered and grabbed them with his hands, and although he could tug John down with ease, he didn’t do it, enjoying this torture as much as John himself. “Just want to hear you plead some more. Come on, beg for this.”</p><p>Arthur’s breath got stuck in his throat when John sat all the way down on his cock again and rolled his hips back and forth teasingly. “Please,” he gasped, curling his fingers tighter and piercing John’s flesh with his claws.</p><p>John moaned loudly at the pain, and at the begging tone of the merman’s voice that went straight to his dick, making it twitch with need. “Again,” he coaxed his lover and clenched his hole around Arthur’s cock to feel it slipping out better when he lifted himself from it. And to reward his lover for being so good to him. </p><p>The merman’s hips bucked helplessly again. “Please, John,” he breathed out, looking up at him pleadingly. That look alone was almost enough to make John toss his plan away and just ride the merman till they would both make their throats sore from moaning. “Please, please, please, please,” he repeated desperately, breathless. “Please, darlin’, let me cum.”</p><p>And just like that, John’s self-restraint was gone. “Fuck!” he cursed and wrapped his palm around his leaking cock, squeezing it at the base to stop himself from cuming himself. He started to stroke it, spreading the precum from the head onto the whole length slowly while jumping on Arthur’s cock faster. “You beg so nicely, Art, you have no idea.”</p><p>Just thinking about it again was bringing him closer to the edge.</p><p>Arthur didn’t respond beside panting quickly and loudly when John finally gave him the stimulation he needed. Whenever John was snapping his ass down, Arthur was meeting him in the middle, impaling him just right, pressing as deep as he could in that position and making him moan loudly.</p><p>John stroked himself faster to match the speed of his bouncing and soon he was shooting seed up his chest with a hoarse cry as the orgasm shook him. Arthur moaned when John clenched tightly around his length while still keeping his hips in motion, even if the need to let go and just enjoy the pleasure was overwhelming. But he promised to make Arthur cum and he was going to keep that.</p><p>So he kept riding the merman even when his cock became soft, his seed started drying off and his hole became so sensitive that every snap of Arthur’s hips was making him choke on too much pleasure. But he endured it for his lover, and when he felt the merman’s dick pulsing with the incoming release, John sagged in his lap with a sigh of relief. Tired, he rolled his hips in small circles and squeezed around the length filling him one last time before it spurted deep and hot inside him, with Arthur’s lovely moan to accompany it.</p><p>John smiled satisfied and laid down on the merman’s chest as it raised fast with deep breath. Arthur let go of his hips and wrapped his arms around John’s naked back with a sigh. John’s smile grew and he nuzzled his lover’s neck. “You good?” he asked, kissing the pulse point where the blood was flowing quickly right under the skin.</p><p>“Yeah,” he replied, rutting lazily into John’s ass with the remains of his orgasm, groaning every now and then. “Love you,” he sighed, kissing John on the head.</p><p>“Love you too,” John replied with a blissful smile, rubbing his hand up and down the side of the merman’s chest, at some point grabbing the fistful of his breast. Muscles twitched under his palm and he grinned. “We should wash up.”</p><p>“In a moment,” the merman hummed, holding him tighter.</p><p>John chuckled and settled more comfortably on Arthur’s chest. “’kay,” he yawned back and closed his eyes.</p><p>They didn’t sleep, even if they were close to it. They simply rested and when the strength returned to them, they entered the water to wash together. After this, they simply lazed around, Arthur drifting in the water and John laying stretched on the blanket he used to cover the rocks with and not hurt his naked skin on them. He brought his drawers with him to put on after washing but he never bothered with it in the end and they just laid forgotten next to him.</p><p>With the hat to protect his face and head from the sun, he enjoyed its warmth and how it was tanning his skin more and more. He didn’t remember ever gaining so much color in his pale skin. If it keeps going like that, he would soon pass as a Mexican. But wearing clothes seemed pointless when he could end up in the water at any moment. Or have his way with an irresistible merman.  </p><p>Just as he finished thinking about that, he felt droplets of water hitting his warm, naked chest. With a smile, he lifted the hat from his eyes and looked at Arthur who swam closer and leaned against the rocks right next to John’s face. “Did I wake you up?”</p><p>“Nah, I wasn’t sleeping.” John adjusted the hat on his head and propped himself on his elbows. “Why? You have something in mind?” he asked in a suggestive way.</p><p>Arthur chuckled. “Just wondering.” John waited for him to finish. “How about we move to some island? One without any people. No one would bother us there.”</p><p>“I can’t drive a boat. I ain’t sure if this is even the right term.” That was only one of his concerns. “Besides, I don’t want to be away from the mainland and the gang. I doubt American post office is delivering mail to the lone islands.”</p><p>“Right.” Arthur stared down, disappointed. “It’s just… It’ll be hard to find an isolated beach for you and me. People are noisy, I’m surprised they never discovered this one.”</p><p>“I did.”</p><p>“Because you was noisy.”</p><p>“Not really, it was an accident,” he reminded his merman and looked sadly at him. “I know what you mean. Living together will be hard.”</p><p>Arthur nodded. “If you’re having second thoughts…”</p><p>“Woah, that’s not what I said,” John stopped him immediately.</p><p>Arthur shrugged. “Just saying that’s an option.”</p><p>“I ain’t leaving anywhere,” he promised, grabbing Arthur’s hand in his and giving him a reassuring smile. “We’ll find some solution to this problem. We don’t have to move away right now anyway. We’ll be fine.”</p><p>Arthur looked at their joined hands, then into John’s concerned eyes and returned his smile. “We will,” he agreed.</p><p>John let out a happy, relieved huff and brought his face closer. Arthur did the same and their lips met in the middle, still curled into smiles. He cupped the merman’s face in his free hand and Arthur put his into John’s hair, tilting his head to the side.</p><p>“Well, well, well.” The unexpected, ominous voice made them part. Arthur revealed his teeth and hissed at the intruder right away while John turned slowly to face none other than Micah coming down the path slowly, gun raised and pointed at both of them. John reached to his hip, looking for his holster even though he knew it was on the beach, because he wasn’t expecting to be attacked in his own home. “Ain’t you two disgustingly cute.”</p><p>“Micah” John whispered in surprise and moved to the side to shield Arthur. He didn’t care he was still naked, Micah didn’t seem to care either as he made his way towards them, entering the water, never stopping aiming at them. “How did you find us?”</p><p>“It was surprisingly easy after that thing mentioned that it didn’t go that far on the night I captured it,” Micah explained with a crooked smile.</p><p>“He’s not an it.” It wasn’t the best moment to teach Micah the correct pronuncs but he couldn’t help himself.  </p><p>“I’ll call it for what it is, a monster.” Micah spat into the water, finally stopping, just six feet away.</p><p>John gulped seeing the hammer of Micah’s revolver cocked, the gun ready to shoot. The man didn’t come here to just threaten them. “What are you even doing here?” John asked, slowly getting into a kneeling position to gain more mobility. “Dutch is back?”</p><p>“Of course not, I returned alone,” Micah answered, moving to the side, no doubt to look at Arthur. John couldn’t do much to stop him. “That fool wouldn’t let me shot your little pet like I wanted to. I have no idea why, it would give us riches beyond riches. I bet rich like Rockefellers would love to have something this freaky hanged in their mansion to show their equally rich friends.”</p><p>Arthur screeched lowly at Micah’s comment. “Tell it to stop or I’ll make it,” Micah growled. John didn’t have to say anything, Arthur got silent himself, at least with the sounds that Micah could hear, because John could feel the rock he was kneeling on resonating lightly with the deep sounds human ears couldn’t register and which Arthur was making.</p><p>“So what, you came here to kill both of us, is that it?” John asked.</p><p>“I would be happy with just killing that freak,” Micah explained, waving his gun. “But you really pissed me off lately, Marston.”</p><p>“Oh yeah? Happy to hear.”</p><p>Micah chuckled. “Still in for jokes, I like it.” The man chuckled again before his expression became grim. “You know, if you weren’t such a naïve fool, we would’ve made a great pair.”</p><p>“I’m not interested in working with you.”</p><p>“I noticed that. That’s why instead of getting you on my side, I simply decided to get rid of you.”</p><p>John clenched his fists and glared at Micah. “I knew you was a rat,” he growled.</p><p>Micah smiled proudly. “Bu you had no proof,” he reminded smugly. “Because I know how to hide all the evidence. Or kill them.”</p><p>The kid from the saloon. “You killed an innocent kid because he knew too much.”</p><p>Micah rolled his eyes. “Just a minor casualty.”</p><p>“You’re disgusting,” Arthur spoke up. John didn’t like how Micah’s whole attention went to the merman immediately.  </p><p>“Said a monster who would’ve killed me if it had a chance.”</p><p>“Oh trust me, I would have a good reason to kill you.”</p><p>“Why did you even do this?”</p><p>That’s what John wanted to know. Micah risked himself by going to the law. What he was trying to gain that was worth the risk?</p><p>“When you started disappearing, I couldn’t let such an opportunity pass,” Micah explained with a smile. “I couldn’t use you in any way, you never liked me, and you was in my way to Dutch. So I needed to get rid of you.”</p><p>“That’s what it was all about?” John actually laughed. “You was jealous of me so you decided to get me kicked out of the gang?”</p><p>“I wasn’t jealous!” Micah shouted. John raised his hands in surrender. Shit, that wasn't the best idea to anger someone like Micah. In camp it was harmless but now, when he was here with intent to kill both of them? It was just stupid and reckless. “You had too much influence on Dutch. ‘Oh, Micah, meet my golden boy John Marston, he’s my favorite.’” He mocked how Dutch introduced them. “And you and Hosea were always on the same side, making sure Dutch wasn’t doing anything stupid. You even tried to talk him out of the ferry job in Blackwater.”</p><p>“And we were right, it was a disaster!” John argued back.  </p><p>“It wouldn’t have been if someone didn’t alert Pinkertons!”</p><p>“Maybe you should check Micah Bell, heard he’s very close to the law,” John suggested with a snarl.</p><p>How he wasn't shot on the spot, he had no idea, but he was glad his stupidity didn’t end like that. Instead, Micah laughed. “Oh, it’s a real shame we couldn’t be friends, John. I like you.”</p><p>“The feelings aren’t mutual I'm afraid.”</p><p>“See, this is what I’m talking about,” Micah chuckled. “I felt almost sorry plotting against you, but I had no choice.”</p><p>“And why is that?” John probed. He was just trying to gain more time to come up with some way out of this. But he couldn’t see any. He was naked for god’s sake, he had no gun and Arthur wouldn’t be able to get to Micah fast enough to shred the man’s artery with his fangs. There was no way out of this.</p><p>“Needed to climb up the ranks in the gang. Could be a bit hard with you on the way. But you put yourself on a silver platter for me by leaving every day and hiding secrets.”</p><p>“So you tried to get rid of me,” John finished for him. “By framing me. You hoped Dutch would kick me out or execute me.”</p><p>“Or that you would get killed in one of the robberies that the law knew about,” Micah added. “But you were more interested in fucking monsters than helping the gang. Still, everything was going well with framing you, and after that, getting rid of Hosea would be easy. He’s old, no one would bat an eye if he didn’t wake up one day.”</p><p>“Don’t you dare lay a hand on him!” John shouted, furious.</p><p>Micah grinned maliciously. “Who said I didn’t already?”</p><p>The only thing stopping John from jumping straight at that bastard was Arthur's hand on his ankle, keeping him and his anger grounded. “John,” he whispered softly as well. John felt the merman’s worried eyes on his back and settled down despite wanting nothing more but to tear that bastard apart with his bare hands.</p><p>“Listening to your pet, how adorable,” Micah mocked, stepping closer to them.</p><p>“If it was all about throwing me from the gang, why return to kill me?” John asked. “You got what you wanted.”</p><p>“Who knows if Dutch wouldn’t get back for you after Hosea’s death?” So Hosea was alive for now. John could die here but not without hurting Micah fatally as well to make sure he wouldn’t come after people John loved. “Or that you wouldn’t change your mind and return yourself? I needed you gone for good. You didn’t die in the fire, I couldn’t kill you then myself, Dutch went soft after your touching story about heartbreak. Was hoping to prove that there was no woman in your life for Dutch to change his mind, or at least blackmail you into leaving for good, but I found this freak instead. And it turned out even better. But even knowing you hid something so valuable from him, Dutch still couldn’t kill you or even throw you out. So I came to finish what I started. And take your pet with me to become a rich man.”</p><p>“Over my dead body.”</p><p>“What an unfortunate choice of word,” Micah joked and put his fingers on the trigger. “It was nice meeting you, Marston.”</p><p>“Wait!” Micah actually stopped and watched him curiously. John looked around in panic, there had to be some way out of this! He refused to be killed by Micah of all people. “Let me at least dress. Save some dignity,” he said finally. In a way, he was telling the truth, he didn’t want to die naked, even if nobody would find his body later.</p><p>“You lost your dignity when you fucked that thing.” Micah pointed at Arthur. “You disgust me, Marston. But go on, dress.”</p><p>John slowly reached for his drawers and equally as slow started putting them one, buying himself as much time as he could. Think Marston, think!</p><p>“You know,” Micah spoke up again. Good, he better talk as long as possible. “I really respected you once, Marston. You’re a good outlaw and great gunslinger. You had a possibility to go far but you’re too restraining, too good. You even wanted to leave the gang for some woman and I couldn’t understand why. I really wanted to see if she was worth it but you surprised me again with that monster.” Micah pointed his gun at Arthur again. “Oh look, it’s leaving you alone.” </p><p>John turned around quickly. Arthur was gone but when he stared into the water, he saw a blink of blue light, just for half a second, but it was enough for him. Arthur had a plan.</p><p>With a pounding heart, John turned back to Micah. “You ain’t worried?” he asked the man, noticing the confident smile on his face.</p><p>“I’m sure he’ll return for your body when I kill you, even if just to eat you.” Micah looked him over. “Feel good enough to die?”</p><p>“Should’ve killed you the day you joined,” John growled, his body shaking from fear. He didn’t want to die.</p><p>“Maybe you should’ve,” Micah agreed with a smile. “Goodbye, Marston.”</p><p>Arthur grabbed him by the leg just before Micah pulled the trigger and his revolver shot. The bullet flew with unavoidable speed from this distance but John was already out of its trajectory, falling on his back into the water.</p><p>He took a deep breath automatically as he hit the surface and fell under. Arthur’s strong arm wrapped around him the very next moment and the merman tugged him forward, towards the exit from the bay and through it. John clutched to him for dear life, seeing Micah shooting blindly to hit both of them, the bullets entering the water only to stop shortly after, slowly falling towards the bottom and leaving a trail of white bubbles behind them.</p><p>Arthur entered the open ocean with him and resurfaced just behind the rocks surrounding the bay, hiding behind them. John let out of the remaining air and took another breath, hearing Micah still shooting.</p><p>“You can’t keep him underwater forever, you freak!” they heard the man yell. “He needs to get back at some point and I have all day and a lot of ammunition!” Another six shoots at nothing ended with Micah cursing loudly.</p><p>“Shit, what do we do?” John asked the merman. “Can you get me to the normal shore? I can steal some guns and shoot him from the path.”</p><p>“Or I could deal with him right now,” Arthur suggested. “He’s on the rocks, I can drag him into the water like I did with you. He doesn’t stand a chance against me there.”</p><p>“No,” John forbade him instantly. “He’s a good gunslinger, he’ll shoot you while falling into the water.”</p><p>“Then he needs to be distracted,” Arthur decided and kissed John quickly, comforting him. “I’ll get you to the other side of the rock belt, you get his attention and I’ll deal with the rest?”</p><p>“You sure?” John asked, worried. “My plan is safer.”</p><p>“He may shoot Old Boy in his rage,” Arthur pointed out. “And the longer he shoots, the more attention he’s drawing. The law is still looking for your gang, they may come here.”</p><p>That sounded reasonable. Especially saving Old Boy. John wouldn’t put it past Micah to not shoot a defenseless horse just to get back at someone. And John really pissed him off.</p><p>“Okay,” he agreed reluctantly, still worried. This time he kissed Arthur. “Just be careful.”</p><p>“I always am,” the merman assured. “Deep breath.”</p><p>John obeyed and they got back under water. Micah wasn’t shooting anymore but when they got closer to the rocks, John could hear him cursing, most likely at both of them. Thankfully the water was keeping them safe, too dark for Micah to see anything.</p><p>Arthur swam to the far left end of the rock belt and left him clinging to the stones. One lift and John would get out on his own. John nodded at his lover, giving him a sign he was fine and Arthur creeped towards Micah, fangs ready to sink themselves in the soft, human flesh and rip it apart. John hoped it was going to hurt.</p><p>John lost the sight of Arthur very quickly, so he wasn't sure if the merman was in the right spot already, but he assumed he was. The air in his lungs was escaping fast, he didn’t have much time to wait anyway. Gripping the rocks tightly, he lifted himself out of the water and searched Micah with his gaze.</p><p>Micah heard John and turned to him with a cruel smirk, aiming his gun. Before he could even pull the trigger, Arthur’s hand shot out from the water and grabbed him by the leg, dragging him down. Micah fell onto his back with a scream that was quickly silenced by the water filling his mouth as he was pulled deeper under the surface.</p><p>John lifted himself up completely and observed the water. There was some trashing at the beginning when Micah was still on the surface, but once underwater, there was almost no sign of anything happening, only air bubbles that no doubt belonged to Micah fighting for his life. </p><p>Until the blood appeared, lots of it, rich red color. There was no noise to join it, no screams of terror, just one, quick, dull sound, like a hammer hitting the nail and then Micah appeared on the surface.</p><p>Facing down, boneless, he floated on the water, a string of red following him from his neck where John could see the open flesh.</p><p>He did it. Arthur did it.</p><p>The merman appeared a few seconds later, breathing heavily as he climbed the rocks.</p><p>“Shit, Arthur,” John chuckled, happy to see his lover alright. “You got him good. You was right, he had no chance.” The lack of an answer from Arthur, even some cocky comment about his plans being the best, almost made John’s heart stop. “Arthur?”</p><p>Still no response. Arthur climbed the rocks all the way but then slipped unexpectedly and tumbled down on the other side of them.</p><p>“Arthur!”</p><p>John rushed on the rocks, almost slipping from them himself, only into the deeper side of the bay. He was pretty sure he cut his foot on some sharp edge as well but he didn’t care. He rushed to the merman, already noticing a small wound in his chest.</p><p>Bullet hole.</p><p>He shot him. That bastard shot him!</p><p>Panic arising, John jumped down next to the merman and grabbed him under arms to drag him to the shore. Arthur’s eyes were wide open in shock, but the blue in them was dim and he was looking around frantically.</p><p>Arthur weighed almost nothing to John as he pulled him to the dry land. He didn’t even feel tired at the end, yet he was panting as he finally settled them both on the sand. John put the trembling merman into his lap, pressing his hand to the wound to stop the bleeding and using the other to get his attention.</p><p>“Arthur, hey,” he whispered hysterically, slapping the merman gently. “Arthur, look at me.”</p><p>He did and it seemed that the initial shock passed and he was finally seeing John. Arthur opened his mouth to say something but only blood came out.</p><p>“No, no, don’t speak,” he urged the merman, gently stroking his cheek and wiping the blood from the corner of his lips. It didn’t help, the new on replaced it, slipping down Arthur’s chin. John’s eyes filled with tears. “It’s going to be okay, alright?”</p><p>He didn’t know who he was trying to convince more, Arthur or himself, because nothing was going to be okay. Arthur was dying before his eyes and there was nothing John could do, only ease the pain as much as he could, making him less scared.</p><p>Arthur nodded, trusting John and it only made it hurt more. John sobbed, not being able to keep the façade just like that.</p><p>“Don’t you dare die, you sonofabitch,” he whispered desperately. Tears blurred his vision but he could still see Arthur smile at him faintly. “You can’t die. You hear me? You can’t die. Please don’t die,” he begged.</p><p>Arthur coughed, more red escaping his mouth. He was choking on it, drowning in his own blood that flooded his lungs. The flow of it under John’s palm wasn't stopping, no matter how hard he was pressing against it, even to the point of losing circulation in his own hand. </p><p>John sobbed harder. “Please, Arthur,” he begged again, his tears falling onto the merman’s face. Weakly, Arthur lifted his hand towards him. John caught it and kissed it tenderly with quivering lips before placing it over his heart that cried with him. “Please, I just got you,” he said, his voice cracking. “Please, don’t leave.”</p><p>This wasn't fair. They were supposed to be living together, sharing a lifetime. Why did Micah have to come back? What was John supposed to do now? He was so happy just a couple of minutes ago and now he was entering the pain and suffering like no else he’d ever felt before.</p><p>It already hurt so much it was causing him physical pain, his chest felt like something heavy was crushing it and the sensation was only getting stronger.</p><p>Arthur squeezed his hand before it went slack in John’s hold. He was still alive, and watching John with love in his fading eyes. Even like that, they were still the most beautiful eyes John has ever seen. And he was looking at them last time, and it was breaking his heart into million tiny pieces that he wasn't sure were possible to put together again.</p><p>“Arthur,” he cried and leaned down, resting his forehead on Arthur’s. “Stay with me, okay? Stay with me,” he asked haplessly and in vain. He knew it wouldn’t change anything but the words kept coming, every single one of them that he didn’t say when he still had a chance. “I don’t want to live without you now that I got you.”</p><p>John moved his face away and watched Arthur moving his lips. There was no sound but John knew what he was saying and he smiled through the tears.   </p><p>“I love you too,” he replied, sniffing. “You can tell me that again later, just please, don’t leave,” he asked again, feeling Arthur's chest raising lower and lower with each breath. “Come on,” he whined like a little child. “Don’t leave,” he whispered.</p><p>Arthur's eyes became unfocused and fluttered closed as his chest raised high with one last breath, then slowly fell down with it.</p><p>Just as the last puff of air left his parted lips with a soft sigh, John acted on instincts, quickly pressing their mouths together.</p><p>That press of lips was everything.</p><p>The bitter-sweet goodbye kiss and a desperate plea to stay.</p><p>The helpless fight with reality and the last string of hope as he breathed the air into Arthur’s mouth and into his lungs, feeling the merman’s chest rising once again with it.</p><p>Hiccupping with sobs, John kept their lips locked, crying harder and shedding tears over the face of his lover when his chest fell down.</p><p>And then raised.</p><p>And fell.</p><p>Raise.</p><p>Fall.</p><p>Raise.</p><p>Fall.</p><p>A steady rhythm of breathing.</p><p>John pulled away shakingly, not daring to hope, sure it was just his imagination, his wishful thinking. But then he felt the air on his lips and saw Arthur's chest moving under his palm as he kept breathing slowly, steadily, as if he was just sleeping.</p><p>Raise.</p><p>Fall.</p><p>Raise.</p><p>Fall.</p><p>“You’re breathing,” he whispered, amazed, and so, so relieved he cried again. “You’re breathing,” he repeated, hoisting Arthur higher into his arms and holding him tightly, swearing to never let him go as he rocked their bodies together. John’s palm was still on the raising and falling chest, feeling it move, scared that if he was to take it away, it would all turn out to be a dream, a cruel joke of faith.</p><p>But Arthur kept breathing on his own and there was no blood flowing under John’s palm anymore. When he lifted it slightly and peeked under it, the wound was already sealed with a healed tissue.</p><p>“You’re breathing,” he kept sobbing, this time crying with relief. He was still scared, but it was going to be okay. It has to be. Because Arthur was breathing. “You’re breathing,” he cried again, nuzzling into his lover’s hair, taking in his scent. Old Boy neighed in distress somewhere behind him and soon after, John felt his trusty steed nudging the side of his face gently, checking on him. John choked on his own sobs. “You’re breathing, you’re breathing, you’re breathing.”</p><p>John repeated that till his throat got sore and dry. And even then he kept mouthing those words into Arthur's hair as the merman continued breathing, John’s palm on his chest raising and falling without a single stop or hitch in the pattern.</p><p>Raise.</p><p>Fall.</p><p>Raise.</p><p>Fall.</p><p>“You’re breathing,” John whispered tiredly and cold hours later, when the moon was high in the sky above their heads and he couldn’t feel his legs anymore, cramped from sitting in one postion for so long. “Oh god, Arthur, you’re breathing.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ngl, I cried writing this chapter, even though I knew everything would be fine. Just seeing the boys suffering breaks my heart.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. Walking Forward</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello after a long break! So sorry for it but I've been busy writing a fic for the minibang and with work but now I can wrap up this story. Only one chapter left. I'm gonna miss this fic!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The tail was first to change. Scales started falling off. First only a couple of them, then more, revealing white and sticky tissues under them instead of skin or muscles. It looked like a cocoon when all of the scales fell off along with all the fins. Near the end, the tail simply dissolved, changing into something like a foam and then just soaking into the sand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>By the time the first scale started falling off, John moved Arthur under the cliff after hours of sitting in one position. His legs were stiff and he could barely walk, but he just couldn’t move earlier. He was too scared to let go of Arthur, to take his hand from his chest and stop feeling him breathing. He still was, it could still only be a dream or his miserable mind creating an illusion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But they couldn’t stay in the open like that, whatever was happening, he needed to get Arthur comfortable and take care of himself to not be exhausted or sick from sitting in the sun for too long when Arthur would wake up again. Because he would wake up, John was sure of that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The merman was still breathing, even hours after he gave his supposedly last breath. In all those hours that John kept watch, Arthur never stopped breathing, it had the same rhythm and nothing was suggesting that it would change any time soon.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So after the long panic mashed with relief and fear finally passed, and John got himself back together to do something instead of mumbling the same words over and over again, he relocated them both, laying Arthur down on a blanket and washing him, cleaning all the blood from his chest and face, including his mouth. Only then John covered him with the other blanket, just to be safe and not risk hypothermia.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That’s when he started noticing the scales falling off. He didn’t even touch them but they still fell off like leaves in the autumn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As much as John was scared to leave Arthur alone even for a moment, he had to do it. So after he stretched his legs by walking in circles around the bay, and washed the blood away, eyes always on the merman, on his chest, John climbed the cliff to get hay and fresh water for Old Boy, telling the gelding to keep an eye on Arthur while he would be gone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John relieved himself while he was up there and he made sure he was quick with everything. He was back in five minutes, out of breath because of his rush. Nothing changed when he was gone, Arthur was still sleeping peacefully and most importantly, he was breathing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John let out a breath of relief and took care of his horse before returning to his lover’s side. Watching Arthur all the time, he drank and ate some food before exhaustion finally got to him and he practically passed out next to Arthur, curled around him, with his head resting on the merman’s chest, raising and falling steadily.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John didn’t sleep long, only a few hours before the nightmare woke him up. He dreamed about Micah succeeding and killing Arthur after all. He got scared for a few seconds before he realized Arthur was okay, just still unconscious, and Micah’s body was still floating on the surface of the bay, with water birds pecking on him to eat some meat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John sat up and rubbed at his sleepy eyes before looking at Arthur. There was no sign of the bullet wound, not even a scar, his chest was as perfect as ever. If John wasn’t there when it all happened, if he didn’t hold his hand over the wound, trying to stop the bleeding, he would’ve never known that Arthur ever got shot.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was unbelievable, this quick recovery was simply impossible. Yet it happened in front of his very eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Because of him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And he didn’t even know what he was doing at the time, he acted on instinct, out of desperation, and what he did was the only thing coming to his mind then. The only way to save Arthur, if it was even possible.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And it was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Was this magic?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John had no idea and he didn’t really care, he only cared that Arthur was safe, and alive and breathing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John pulled off the blanket, uncovering the tail and the way it was changing. Dozens of scales stayed on the blanket. He felt like he should be freaking out about it but he wasn’t. He knew everything was fine despite the tail looking like it was rotting.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>By the end of the day, the only thing left from the tail was a white stump. Anything that didn’t morphed into it just turned into foam. John collected as many scales scattered around the stump as he could, putting them into a small jar and hiding them in the chest by the cliff wall. He didn’t know why he did it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Claws were next to go. John noticed them moving too loosely earlier but in the evening, they just fell off, revealing normal human nails under them. And when John picked up Arthur’s hand to look at the change, he noticed the web between his fingers gone too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John entwined their fingers together, Arthur’s hand warmer than it usually was, but the feeling of it in John’s hold was still very much the same. John smiled and kissed the top of the merman’s palm before laying down next to him, his head once again on Arthur’s chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Listening to his heartbeat and breathing, John drifted off to sleep and didn’t wake up till next morning.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was easier to leave Arthur alone this time. He was still nervously looking back at him from the water where he washed himself, or when he was dressing up to go to town, but he wasn’t terrified anymore. If something was supposed to happen, it would’ve happened earlier, not two days after Micah almost took Arthur away from him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John only went to get more fresh water and food for his horse. And some medicine. He didn’t waste time on anything else, not even on checking the mail or to get himself hired when he heard the news that the new owner of the saloon was looking for local men to help with the construction.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nothing was very important right now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The whole time he was away, John was anxious and he couldn’t wait to go home. His heart was restless and the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach didn’t want to leave him alone, but he endured it for his and Old Boy’s sake. Arthur wouldn't want John to starve his horse or not take care of himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So no matter how hard it was to stay in town and continue buying everything he needed, John only returned home when he had everything he needed. He hurried back to the bay, needing to see Arthur. He was gone for only two hours and he was starting to regret it. Maybe Arthur wasn’t dying but he was helpless as ever right now. What if birds that couldn’t eat Micah anymore, would try to eat Arthur?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shouldn’t have left him for so long without anyone to keep a watch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thankfully, the merman was fine when John walked down with Old Boy. Some crab was walking his way but John picked it up without worrying about being pinched and threw it into the water. The animal was probably harmless but he wanted to be safe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just to be sure, John checked the merman all over, noticing more changes. The stump started to part into two. John touched it in awe, amazed by the shape of legs it was already taking. He could already distinguish knees and calves where the excess of the white tissue already fell off like scales before it, the rest of it slowly molding into human limbs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was hard to believe it was happening, that his last, desperate attempt really worked. John only heard about it happening the other way around, and even in that case he didn’t see it with his own eyes. Now he was witnessing the merman turning into a human and he felt like crying and laughing at the same time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That evening, the gills were the last thing to go. The only thing still connecting Arthur to the ocean just closed like the fatal wound on his chest, John couldn’t feel them anymore when he was touching the merman’s neck. If he could even call him that still.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Because a few hours later, after John woke up, there was no stump under the blanket anymore, just two normal looking legs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John held the blanket in his hands and looked at Arthur’s naked body for a while, having a hard time believing in what he was seeing. Even when he touched those legs, it still didn’t feel real. Just like when he touched the beautiful tail for the first time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The said tail was no more, Arthur was a human just like him. With legs, without any addition in form of claws or gills. He was pretty sure there were no fangs as well. And when John opened Arthur's one eye, there was no second eyelid covering his blue irises.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur was human. Perfectly shaped, regular human. He looked just as if he was born like that instead of as a merman who spent almost his whole life living underwater. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And John was terrified of what that meant for Arthur, but he couldn’t help but be relieved as well. He still had his lover. At least for now. He couldn’t tell how Arthur would react after discovering what happened, what John did without thinking to save his life. Arthur liked to say that he would be happy to join John on land, but saying that and it actually happening was two different things. Maybe Arthur said that in the first place because he was sure he would never have to make that choice, to choose between the ocean and John.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And now even his choice was gone. John took it from him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hoped Arthur was going to forgive him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t do it if there was some other way,” John whispered with tears in his eyes. He covered Arthur back and looked at his peaceful face. With a shaking hand, he brushed Arthur’s warm cheek, feeling the few days stubble scratching his skin. “I just couldn’t let you go,” he explained himself weakly and bent down to place a soft kiss on Arthur’s lips. “Wake up soon, okay? You can yell at me, you can punch me and tell me to get the hell away. Just wake up. Please.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With the transformation complete, all John could do now was wait. Not that it was different from what he was doing earlier. Those three days all he did was wait. His job – or damage depending on how to look at it – was done the moment he parted his and Arthur’s lips in what he believed was the last kiss.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John was riding Old Boy around the bay to keep the gelding in shape when he heard the groan coming from the beach. In normal circumstances he wouldn’t have heard it, but he was waiting for any sign of Arthur waking up for so long that this one sound was like a gunshot right next to his ear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He urged Old Boy to return to the beach and dismounted a few feet before Arthur, running the rest of the way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Arthur?” he asked while getting onto his knees next to his lover. Arthur’s eyes were still closed but he was moving them under the eyelids. John cupped his face in one palm and stroked it gently with his thumb. “Come on, love, wake up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Arthur did, his eyes fluttering open and looking around in confusion before focusing on the face in front of him. “John?” he asked with a hoarse voice. He sounded like even a small word like that hurt. But John was prepared for that and reached for a waterskin he left right next to Arthur a day before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, it’s me,” he said, keeping Arthur’s face still as he brought the waterskin to his lip. “Here, drink this, just slowly.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tried to give Arthur some water while he was unconscious but it no doubt wasn't enough. A big amount of water could make him sick so John tilted the waterskin gently, allowing only two small gulps before he took it away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur licked his wet lips, clearly still thirsty but John wanted to be careful. “How are you feeling?” he asked, wondering if Arthur noticed something was wrong already, if he couldn’t feel his tail, or that his claws, gills, fangs and long tongue were gone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Um… tired, mostly,” he answered, shaking his head gently and groaning after. “My head hurts.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Probably because you’re thirsty,” John realized and let him drink a few sips again. “And hungry. You’ll feel better once you eat.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, probably,” he agreed and looked at John, the confusion still present on his face. “I don’t understand. I… was sure I was dying.” Arthur looked around and he clearly wasn't expecting to see his bay. “Wasn’t I?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You was,” John confirmed, sitting down next to the man. He took his hand in his and squeezed it to give himself some courage. Here it was, the moment of truth. He could still lose Arthur after this. “But I saved you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur looked away, deep in thoughts, trying to understand all of this. His free hand touched his chest where the wound was supposed to be. “Micah shot me,” he recalled, glancing again at John who nodded. “It hurt, I remember that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You still managed to kill him,” John helped him. “Then you got out of the water and collapsed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The image of that in his head was still making him sick. He was never so scared in his life like in that moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was dying,” Arthur repeated. He was still trying to feel the wound on his chest. “I couldn’t breathe, even with my gills.” John let out a quivering breath when Arthur mentioned them but thankfully didn’t reach for them. Good, he wanted to say it to him himself. “How did you save me?” he asked. “I didn’t know humans could do that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We can’t,” John confirmed. “Even a doctor would have trouble with that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur narrowed his eyes at him. “Then how?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John was scared to say it but he had no other choice. Hopefully the news coming from him would hurt less. Would make Arthur less angry.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I turned you into a human,” he blurted out all at once.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur blinked in surprises and stared, his eyes growing bigger. John gulped, waiting for the outburst. “What?” Arthur choked out instead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John looked away and closed his eyes, squeezing Arthur’s hand tighter, praying that he wouldn’t take it away. “I turned you into a human,” he repeated.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He gasped in pain when Arthur tugged his hand free to grab the blanket and throw it away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur just froze when instead of tail, he saw two human legs in its place. John watched him carefully, terrified, still expecting the anger to appear at any moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Arthur only stared at what was once his tail. He didn’t move, he didn’t say anything, just watched in disbelief while John was slowly losing his mind waiting for any reaction.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Arthur finally moved his hand, John jumped startled. He followed the other man’s hand, how it slowly touched the new limb. Arthur took back his hand very next second, gasping and John couldn’t tell if it was shock or disgust. Maybe both.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn’t stand the silence anymore, if Arthur didn’t want to yell at him, John was going to beat him to it with his apology.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” he said, dropping his head low to hide away the shame. “If there was some other way, I would’ve used it. I didn’t even think, I panicked, I didn’t want to lose you and…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you apologizing?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John snapped his head back when Arthur suddenly interrupted him, more confusion on his face. No anger.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No anger.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“B-because I turned you into a human,” he explained, his turn to be confused. Why wasn’t Arthur angry? “I stole your life from you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You stole my life?” Arthur repeated, sounding almost offended. Without any warning, he sat up, dragging his legs on the ground like it was still a tail, and got closer to John. “You didn’t steal my life, you idiot, I wouldn’t have it if it wasn't for you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But you ain’t a merman anymore,” John pointed out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But I’m alive,” he explained, bringing their faces together. John wasn’t expecting a light press of their lips. He expected shouting, being pushed away, not being brought closer. It was so unexpected he didn’t react at first but when he did, he wrapped his arms tight around Arthur without any intent to let go and kissed him back, making both of them whimper with the intensity of it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They kissed like crazy and groped each other hard anywhere they could reach. There was no softens in their touch, just pure need and longing for what was almost taken away from them. Arthur was a warm, solid form in John’s arms, a reminder that everything was alright and John almost wept being able to touch him, or feel his pounding heart under his palm when he laid it on Arthur's chest, brushing the soft hair.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur wrapped his arms around him and dragged him back with him till they landed back on the blanket, their legs tangled together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Legs. John still couldn’t believe there was no tail there, and Arthur couldn’t as well apparently because he gasped in surprise when John rubbed their calves together before focusing on the kiss entirely, deepening it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur arched under him, his big hands gripping John’s hair roughly, smashing their mouth closer, to the point it hurt, but both of them didn’t care. Their hearts raced in their chests that brushed together with each of their heavy breaths. And any gasp coming from Arthur was relieving. It sounded so good that John wasn't sure if he wanted to continue this and hear more or break the kiss in fear of having it stop suddenly, even if he had no reason to be scared of that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur was alright, he was safe and his lips moved hungrily against John’s, taking away any remains of fears that kept John company through the last few days. He was alive and John felt so too, just like before Micah almost ruined it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They broke the kiss, panting, their foreheads resting together. John opened his eyes and looked into Arthur’s, no trace of anger in them, only love. The other man brought his hand to John’s cheek and smiled. “Don’t you ever apologize for saving my life, John. You have nothing to be sorry for.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John nodded. “I just… I didn’t give you a choice,” he noticed, not being able to help but feel guilty about it anyway.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You think I would rather die as a merman than continue living as a man?” Arthur asked seriously. “I would always choose this. So don’t you dare say you stole my life, you gave it to me.” Arthur grabbed him with both of his arms and hugged him close, nuzzling their cheeks together. “Thank you, John. I thought it was my end.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought so too,” John said in a trembling voice, shutting his eyes tight and taking a deep breath of Arthur scent. He still smelled of the ocean. “God, Art, I was so scared when I saw you shot. I didn’t know what to do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You shared your breath with me,” Arthur realized, pulling away to let them look at each other. There were tears in both of their eyes. “How did you know it was going to work?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t,” John admitted, sitting up and taking Arthur with him. The other man wasn’t using his legs, at all. John hoped it was just because he wasn't used to them and not because there was something wrong. “I didn’t really think it through, the story of your grandmother just suddenly popped up in my head and I acted without thinking. I didn’t know if it was going to work but what did I have to lose?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wasn’t risking anything. If they were to try the transformation when Arthur or him would've been okay, John would've never agreed to that risk. But four days ago he could only gain and he didn’t hesitate when he gave Arthur his breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m glad you did that,” Arthur admitted, resting his head on John’s shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John wrapped his arm around him. “You sure?” he asked, still uncertain that what he did was wrong. “You will never return to the ocean.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It isn’t going anywhere,” Arthur replied, shifting to look at the water for a moment before focusing his gaze on John. “I prefer not having an ocean in my life than not having a life at all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John smiled and kissed the top of his head. “I would’ve still done things differently if there was any other way,” he said, rubbing his palm up and down Arthur’s shoulder. It was so strange to feel him warm against himself instead of the chill he got used to by now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know.” Arthur sighed deeply, leaning heavily against John. He was probably tired still. “But I don’t mind being human.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not going to miss the ocean?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John didn’t know how he would react, not being able to walk on land anymore, riding a horse, being able to visit towns and see his friends and family. Arthur didn’t have the latter but he loved the water, he was used to it, it was his home.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course I will.” Arthur raised his head to kiss John in the corner of his lips, smiling sadly. “It’s where I was born and raised, where I lived for thirty six years. But just like the bay, it’s just the place and I can always return to it, even if to just watch it from afar or get my new feet wet,” he chuckled, then placed another kiss on John’s lips, this time in their center. “I’ll be home wherever you are,” he said after, his smile turning into more joyful, the one that John couldn’t help but return, along with the kiss.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m really sorry it came to this,” he apologized again. It was stronger than him, he wished there was another way to save Arthur without taking away who he was his whole life. “You know I didn’t do it on purpose, right?” he asked nervously, looking anywhere but at Arthur.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“On purpose?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know…” Maybe it was a bad thing to mention it. Arthur probably didn’t think of it, but now he could. “To make living together easier for me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For the first time since Arthur woke up, he finally looked angry. And John didn’t like it. “You think so low of me, John Marston?” he asked seriously.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John chuckled anxiously. “You’re right, I'm sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I noticed, you keep saying that,” the other man teased, successfully easing the tension after John’s suggestion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bastard,” John said with a smirk, hugging his lover closer. Arthur let him, so he wasn't really angry. “Just don’t want you to think I made a choice for you because it benefited me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You didn’t make a choice, John, you had no choice just like me. Micah made it for us,” he fumed, his eyes darkening. “Where is that bastard’s body anyway?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yesterday some small sharks got into the bay and ate it,” John answered with a chuckle. “And earlier birds ate his entire face.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good,” he stated simply, making John smile even wider. “He deserved worse. If he didn’t shoot me, I would’ve taken my time with him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter anymore, he’s dead and you’re alive,” he reminded and nuzzled the side of Arthur’s head. “I love you so much.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur turned to face him and pressed their lips together in a loving kiss. “Love you too,” he replied during a short pause and then they continued, kissing slowly, so different from how they were doing it earlier. They needed calmness and peace more than ever now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Old Boy thought differently and, coming out of nowhere, he pushed his face into the back of Arthur’s head, successfully ending their kiss when their noses bumped together painfully. John rubbed his to ease the pain while Arthur laughed at the gelding.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey there, boy,” he greeted the horse, stroking its forehead. Old Boy blew air into his face in a friendly gesture. Arthur chuckled again. “Glad Micah didn’t hurt you. You recognize me without my tail?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He couldn’t wait till you wake up,” John informed him, watching his lover and horse interact. He never got tired of it, even if the attention Arthur was giving Old Boy was still making him jealous, just a little. Like right now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He liked to lay next to you,” John explained. Maybe it was a coincidence but John knew horses well enough to suspect it wasn't. “He’s so used to having you every day and giving him treats that he missed you. And you never gave him those treats that day.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aww, I missed you too, pal,” Arthur cooed softly at the gelding that suddenly dropped onto the ground, laying next to Arthur and nudging him with his head. “He wants treats, can you pass them to me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John snorted. “Have some more water for yourself,” he said, pushing the waterskin into Arthur’s open palm. The man drank from it right away, still thirsty after all. “I’ll make you something to eat too, you must be hungry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am,” Arthur admitted, scratching Old Boy between the ears and brushing his mane away to look at his eyes. “Guess I can’t eat raw fish anymore, huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Better not,” John replied, picking some cans and fresh bread. Well, not fresh, he bought it yesterday. “But you can still eat them cooked. I can even take you to the forest so you can eat berries right from the bush. Berries are the best that way.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If I have legs, does that mean I can ride Old Boy now?” When John turned to look at Arthur, the man’s eyes were shining with excitement. He was taking this being a human thing surprisingly good. Better than John would probably take becoming a merman.  “He can carry me now, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, you can’t be much heavier than me now,” he answered, bringing the cans and bread to the fire that was barely lit. “Legs are much lighter than the tail.” Arthur looked at his new limbs then but without moving them. John got worried again. “Can you… move them?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If he couldn’t…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t finish that thought because Arthur slightly bent his left leg in the knee and it looked like he struggled a lot with it. “It’s strange,” he admitted. “I feel like there are a lot of new muscles and bones there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, your tail did split into two,” John pointed out, starting to prepare food. “Don’t know how many bones your tail had but legs don't have that many. Maybe only in the feet. Each toe has several separate tiny bones that move.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How do you know that?” Arthur asked. “I don’t even know that and I ate humans.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I saw skeletons before,” John explained, putting canned vegetables into one bowl and putting it above the fire. “Humans look really strange under all those skin and muscles.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can imagine,” Arthur murmured and wiggled his toes, letting out an adorable chuckle right after. “That’s funny.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” John agreed, watching his lover trying out his new legs. “You like them legs?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t know how to use them.” So far, Arthur was just checking in which direction he could move his foot, not moving the rest of the leg much. He was probably nervous.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s okay.” John sat down next to Arthur, leaving the food to cook for a while. “I’ll teach you how to walk. And run, and ride a horse. We’ll make you into a human in no time,” he promised with a smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur quickly returned it. “Can’t wait.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John couldn’t too. Because no matter how guilty he was for turning Arthur without asking him first, now life would be easier for them. Arthur wasn't bound to the ocean anymore, he could follow John anywhere. They could even chase Dutch and join the gang.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They could go anywhere and there was nothing stopping them anymore. They would’ve been happy regardless but this? This was even better. He only wished it was accomplished differently, the decision made by Arthur himself not by Micah.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then again, if it wasn't for Micah, they would’ve never known it was possible for a merperson to turn into a human.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You did one good thing in your life, Micah,” John murmured under his breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just thinking out loud,” John explained with a smile and checked the food. “Once you eat you should sleep some more. Your body needs more rest.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re probably right.” Arthur yawned, but even without that he looked really tired. John could only imagine how tiering this transformation was to his body. “I’m not even that hungry, just want to sleep.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eat first,” John insisted, picking up the bowl with food and the spoon, then handing it to Arthur. “You need it, you haven’t eaten for three days.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t feel like it,” he admitted and lazily took the first bite. “Must’ve been hard. Waiting for me to wake up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John nodded. “It was. I was losing my mind and I was afraid to even let go of you for the first few hours,” he admitted, looking at Arthur seriously. “I’ve never been so scared in my life.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur gave him a reassuring smile. “I’m okay now. Thanks to you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John smiled back, grateful. It was nice to hear that he did good when his conscience kept screaming at him that he hurt Arthur. Arthur’s word made it shut up for now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without answering, John wrapped his arm around Arthur and held him against his side while the other man ate.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur didn’t finish everything, but it probably wouldn’t be healthy anyway so John let him. His lover became even more tired after and didn’t need convincing to go to sleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Will you lay with me?” Arthur asked sleepily, already curled on his side, facing the fire. Old Boy moved to some other place by now, hanging by the water. “I feel cold.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John hoped it wasn’t the beginning of some sickness. “It’s probably the lack of clothes,” John explained and after putting the rest of the food away, he walked to Arthur. “I should give you something of mine to wear till I buy you something.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His clothes probably wouldn’t fit, Arthur was bulkier than him, but it would be better than nothing. The man shook his head though. “Don’t want to, I’m comfortable,” he said, yawning again. “Will you then?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John smiled at him. “Of course,” he agreed and laid down behind Arthur and under his blanket, wrapping a protective arm around him, his palm resting over the other man’s heart, feeling it work and the chest moving with a steady breath. “Sleep and tomorrow we’ll teach you how to walk.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur moved his legs experimentally, bringing them closer to John’s and tangling them together like he had always done with his tail. Used to the cold, John didn’t even wince when the cold feet touched his calves. He rubbed his own up and down Arthur’s shin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The other man hummed. “Feels nice,” he murmured and grabbed John’s hand on his chest. “Night, John.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John kissed the back on Arthur’s neck and nuzzled his face into the blond locks. “Night,” he sighed back. “Love you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t get any answer, Arthur was already asleep. John sighed again, relaxing behind his lover and squeezing his hand as both of their palms moved with each of Arthur's breaths.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur slept through the rest of the day and a whole night. John napped with him for about two hours before leaving him to sleep on his own while John made a list of things to buy for his lover and made a plan how to teach him to walk. He supposed the way toddlers learned wasn’t the best way to do it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He returned to Arthur’s side for the night but left it again in the morning to get hay for Old Boy, fresh water for all three of them and visited the town for clothes so Arthur wouldn’t have to walk around naked or squeezed inside John’s tight shirts. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he returned to the bay, he almost got a heart attack.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you doing?!” he shouted at Arthur sitting in the middle of the bay and apparently trying to stand up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John’s shout startled the other man and he fell on his ass after he barely lifted it from the ground. “Learning to walk,” he explained, annoyed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John tried not to rush down the path since he was leading Old Boy behind him, but he still got down as quickly as possible. “You could’ve hurt yourself,” he said, panicked, and once at the bottom, he rushed to his lover.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur rolled his eyes at him. “Don’t be ridiculous.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You think I’m joking?” John asked, angry that Arthur acted so irresponsibly. “People can break their bones falling the wrong way. You could’ve got hurt!” he repeated in a raised voice. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fine, didn’t do much, anyway,” Arthur assured, pushing himself up with his arms to try again. “Legs are so confusing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still irritated, John huffed and grabbed Arthur’s arm, helping him up. Which wasn’t easy, because the other man was heavy, like grown men tend to be. And with how little help Arthur provided with his legs, it felt like carrying a drunk Uncle from the saloon back to the camp.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Back on the blanket,” John ordered, adjusting his grip so Arthur’s arm was draped around John’s shoulders. “We need to dress you up before you go scrap your knees.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You bought me clothes?” Arthur asked, his legs wobbling a lot under him. He wasn’t putting a lot of pressure on them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just some drawers, pants and a shirt,” John answered, slowly walking with Arthur in tow. “We’ll buy more once you can walk to the store yourself and be measured.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thankfully Arthur didn’t go far with his lone tries and step by step, they reached the blanket by the fire. John gently sat Arthur down on it and returned to Old Boy to get everything he bought. “You probably need help putting this one right?” he asked, showing the clothes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I only mastered the art of taking it off,” Arthur chuckled, smiling suggestively.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John laughed back. “This is going to be awkward.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Feels like I’m dressing a child and you’re my lover,” he explained, maneuvering Arthur’s legs to pull the drawers on first.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have the same problem with me undressing you,” Arthur noticed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John smiled and shook his head. “You’re right, I'm being silly. Ass up.” Slowly, he helped Arthur dress, leaving him the shirt to try on his own since it didn’t require moving his legs to do so. It took two attempts but he’d done it without any real problem. “Alright, first we eat something, then you can try to walk.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur made a displeased face but otherwise didn’t protest. He let John cook for them something first, using the meat John bought in town, deciding that a full meal was required for such a hard task awaiting for Arthur.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur had a better appetite this time and ate everything, his hunger finally catching up to him. John was glad that he bought more than for two men, because otherwise he would’ve to give Arthur his own portion to properly feed him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once both of their bowls were empty and Arthur drank some water, there were no more excuses to delay the practice anymore. “Ready to start your first walking lesson?” John asked standing up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was ready before you returned,” Arthur noticed, moving his legs more surely today. They seemed to work okay, bending the right way and not causing any pain.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Walking needs strength,” John explained, walking up to his lover and kneeling next to him. “And an assist. Like I said, you could get hurt.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How do babies do that?” Arthur asked, watching John take his leg in his hands and bending it for him all the way to Arthur’s chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If I remember correctly, Jack was about a year old when he started to try to walk,” John recalled and stretched Arthur’s leg. Yup, definitely worked right. “He started crawling first, then moved while holding onto things. We’ll skip the first part but walking next to a wall of the cliff seems like a good idea.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re the expert.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John chuckled and moved behind Arthur to help him stand up. “You’re damn right I am.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With John’s help, Arthur got to the wall and leaned against it while he was left alone to stand. His knees buckled under his weight but he managed to stay upright, holding onto the wall for dear life. “Now what?” he asked, looking nervously at John.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” he admitted. He wouldn’t even know how to teach a child how to walk, how do you do it with a grown man? Jack learned on his own, everyone seemed to do so while they were babies. You just know this stuff.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur rolled his eyes. “Some expert you are.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just… move your legs I guess.” He had no idea what else to tell.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Move your legs,” Arthur repeated under his breath, slowly lifting his left foot from the ground. His right legs couldn’t hold him alone and he flew forward with a surprised shout. John rushed to catch him before he could bust his head open on the wall, but the other man regained his posture on his own, quickly putting the other foot back on the ground. John remained close, just in case. “How did I do that?” Arthur asked. “I didn’t make my leg move.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s probably instinct,” John realized. “You were going to fall so your body tried to save you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Standing on shaking legs, Arthur looked down at them. “You do it so effortlessly. You’re standing without a problem and I will no doubt fall if I let go of the wall.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ll learn,” John assured him. “I had my whole life to learn but I’m sure I was clumsy at first too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wish I could see that. Saw a baby human once wobbling on the pier. It was adorable.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, they’re cute,” John agreed. Arthur was too. It was strange to see a grown man learning to walk for the first time, but adorable as well. “Try moving again, maybe dragging your feet on the ground?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Like this?” Arthur slowly moved his left foot without lifting it from the ground, then followed with the right one, making his first uncertain step.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, like that. Try putting more pressure on them legs, you need to let them gain strength.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It feels strange with clothes on,” Arthur admitted, doing what John told him. The shaking in his legs increased when he shifted more of his weight into one of them, but the knee didn’t give up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You get used to them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John realized that’s how a parent must feel when they see their child taking first steps. He watched Arthur walking along the wall, getting more confident with every step, his legs shaking less until he could lift his foot off the ground like he tried at first.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well done, Arthur,” he praised him, grinning.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur smiled loopily at him and turned around, going the other way now, crossing the path faster than the first time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John didn’t let him walk without support that day, even when Arthur insisted he could do it. The other man was feeling confident, but John could see that his legs still weren’t as strong as they should. They got tired easily and started to wobble after half an hour of instant walking, so John ordered a break.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll try again tomorrow,” John decided, cutting an apple to share with Arthur, who could use a snack after the exhausting training.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why not today?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s not push your luck. Better take it slow than strain your legs on the first day.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess.” Arthur munched on his apple, watching the fire in front of them. Leaning against John, he released an annoyed sigh. “Just want to walk already, you know? Go with you to town.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John placed a kiss on his lips, tasting the sweetness of the apple there. “You’ll soon,’ he promised. “Don’t want you to get hurt.” He already almost lost him and now that he got him back, human at that, John wasn’t going to risk Arthur losing all of his mobility because they rushed through his walking lessons. They had time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But I did good today, right?” Arthur asked, excited. “I almost walked on my own.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You did excellent, sunshine,” he confirmed and kissed the other man again. “Soon you’ll be walking and running as if you was born human.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur grinned, accepting another piece of apple John handed him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They started again in the morning, right after breakfast. During it, Arthur kept moving his legs, bending them, stretching, spreading, anything to get them used to moving. John watched it fascinated, how Arthur was discovering a new range of moves. He wasn’t used to someone being this captivated by a regular limb.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But to Arthur it was fun, a new way of locomotion without which he would be helpless, both on land and in the water. Only watching him now, John really appreciated his own legs, as strange as it sounded. He would be no one without them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur was so eager to learn that he ate his breakfast faster than John and had to wait for him. He sketched in his journal in the meantime and it was fun to watch for John, because he was leaning against the wall of the cliff, the journal open in his lap while his legs kept shifting as if they had their own life.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John smirked more than once watching it happen. And once he finished breakfast and Arthur threw the journal carelessly on the ground, still open on the page he was drawing on, John almost laughed discovering the reason behind those restless moves.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur was drawing his own goddamn legs in different positions, studying them. It was both funny and heartwarming.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They started by the wall again but after a few minutes of warm up, John figured out it was time for a more challenging lesson.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let go of the wall.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The other man looked unsure despite his earlier eagerness, but after a few seconds of self-encouragement, he took his hands away from the cliff and…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m standing,” Arthur said in awe. There was a faint shiver in his legs, but they were holding him. Arthur looked up from them at John, grinning widely.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John couldn’t help but grin back while pride filled his chest. “You’re,” he confirmed and walked closer, grabbing Arthur’s hands. “Let’s go for a walk, yeah?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur nodded eagerly and took a first, unsure step. And then another, and another, following John slowly. Soon, they left the shade of the cliff and got closer to the water. Arthur lost his balance at one point, but his legs were even quicker to save him this time and John was there too, ready to catch him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eyes on me,” John told him, wanting him to walk naturally, without watching his steps. Arthur raised his gaze at him, so damn beautiful when his eyes were sparkling like this. “Very nice, Art, you’re doing it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not on my own,” he said and then shouted in surprise when his legs gave out under him again. He stumbled forward but John caught him and helped him stand straight again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ll get there,” he promised, smiling warmly at his lover. “Let’s enter the water. Bet you miss it,” he added guilty.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur didn’t seem to notice the sorrow in John’s eyes before it was replaced with pride again as the other man continued to walk, his pace faster than at the beginning.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Walking backward, John stepped into the water first and Arthur shortly after, gasping when he felt the water on his new limbs. John watched him carefully, ready for his lover to even burst into tears or finally realize how John fucked up his life.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Arthur only grinned at him when he lifted his gaze from the water washing over his feet. “It feels nice,” he said, curling his toes in the wet sand. “Can we go deeper?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure,” John agreed, glad to see his lover so happy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They reached the deepest part of the water on this side of the rock belt. Surprisingly, it was easier for Arthur to walk there despite the water putting resistance. Maybe there was something of a merman left in him and his body never forgot where it came from.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Either way, they walked around in the water for a while, John eventually going to Arthur’s side and holding him under the arm as his lover continued walking, his legs already looking stronger than in the morning. Seeing Arthur learning this new thing was filling John with a new kind of love for the other man.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur was a fighter. Despite the situation he found himself in, he kept walking forward. Literally. John had no doubt that by the end of the week, he was going to see Arthur running.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They took a break after an hour, sitting on the rock belt and looking at the ocean. John was nervous being there, the ocean wasn’t calm today and if one of them would fall into the deep water, they could die. But he agreed to sit there because Arthur wanted to.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I hope no merperson will eat us,” John joked, watching the waves crashing into the rocks separating the bay from the rest of the ocean. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, me too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John looked at Arthur surprised. “You was supposed to assure me there was nothing to worry about.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur shrugged. “Happened once, could happen again,” he pointed out with a chuckle. “You’ll be fine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John rolled his eyes at him. “That was really comforting.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Next day, Arthur tried to walk on his own. He walked with John’s assist first, then he was on his own. He was clumsy like at the beginning, falling more times than the amount of steps he took. But after cursing under his nose, he was back on his feet, faster each time, almost jumping back onto them. Then, he would take a few awkward steps and fall again, making John’s heart jump to his throat every time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur complained that it shouldn’t be this hard, he was walking fine with support, why couldn’t he do it alone? But John wasn’t surprised by the regress. Toddlers had a lot of time to learn how to use their tiny legs, always progressing with each stage of their learning. Arthur already had fully developed ones, long and awkward, it was understandable he had problems with learning how to walk.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he wasn’t giving up and John kept encouraging him till Arthur was able to cross the few feet separating them and reach John without falling even once.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John laughed happily and gathered his lover into his arms, hugging him tight. “You did it, Art! You walked on your own!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur hugged him back just as tight, laughing cheerfully himself. “Let me try again,” he demanded, already moving away from John. He didn’t master walking backward yet and he almost fell back, but John held him still with a chuckle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Get to Old Boy,” he suggested, carefully letting go of his lover.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Arthur did. With a determined nod, he headed towards Old Boy who watched them this whole time, curious about all the commotion they kept making.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After he did it once, walking any other time seemed easy now. With next few hours of almost constant practice, Arthur not only gained more confidence in his steps, but his posture changed as well. And that helped with the walking too. Once he wasn’t slouched anymore, he stopped stumbling and losing his footing, only having some problem when he kept forgetting to raise his feet high enough to make a step.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was doing amazing and John almost cried when by the end of the day, Arthur was able to walk at a fast pace and look natural while doing so. John kissed him for a long time after this as a congratulation, their legs tangled as they laid on the sand by the fire, and it was the best feeling in the world.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want to go to town,” Arthur announced the next day during breakfast.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Only after a few seconds John remembered to close his mouth that stayed open mid eating when he heard that request.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You sure?” he asked. He thought they would visit the town together much later, after Arthur would learn how to ride a horse, which they still haven’t started yet. There was still running and jumping to learn first. And keeping balance on the narrow space.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur nodded. “I need more clothes, this one smells,” he said and sniffed his shirt, wincing in disgust after.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John chuckled. “Alright, sure,” he agreed. “You can walk now so no one will pay much attention to you. I needed to go there anyway.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John got them ready after they ate. He led Old Boy up the cliff first and then returned for Arthur who was just done adjusting the hat on his head. John smiled at him. “Ready?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ready.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur had some troubles climbing up the cliff, not used to so little space and to walking on the ground that had a slope, but they got to the top without accidents.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I remember this place when I climbed here drunk,” Arthur said, looking around the forest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This time you won’t get hit on the head,” John promised jokingly and mounted Old Boy, extending his hand towards Arthur. “Ready to see the world?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur grinned and hurriedly, if clumsily, climbed behind him. “Take us to the town, sweetheart.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John stroked his horse’s neck. “You heard that, boy?” The gelding shook his head. “To the town we go. Hold tight.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur wrapped his arms around John’s waist after that, and with a soft nudge from his rider, Old Boy trotted towards the exit from the forest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even without looking behind, John knew Arthur was smiling, being able to ride the horse again. As much fun as it was the last time, this no doubt was better. And soon Arthur would learn how to do this on his own. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur was ecstatic being able to see so many new things. He only saw a tiny bit while John and the gang were bringing him back to the water. He was covered from almost every side and Jack was getting all of his attention then, but now he could watch around, admiring the scenery, plants, other riders or animals running away from them as Old Boy trotted along the road.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There is so much of everything,” he said at some point. “In the ocean there is often a lot of open space, nothing but water and sand for miles.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We have deserts that are similar in that aspect,” John mentioned, stirring Old Boy left at the turn to town. “But yeah, land is full of life everywhere.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love it,” Arthur decided, leaning against John’s back and resting his chin on his shoulder. “I can’t wait to see the town. I only ever saw it from afar or from the pier but only at night.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re almost there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John’s lover actually gasped at the sight of the town. John had no idea how exactly merpeople’s colony looked like, but he could imagine it was anything like towns built by humans. And this one wasn’t even that breathtaking. John couldn’t wait to show Arthur bigger metropolises, real cities.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Close your mouth, you’ll catch a fly,” John chuckled when he turned around and noticed Arthur’s mouth wide open.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The other man closed it shut quickly but didn’t stop looking at everything with amazement. There were people everywhere, going with their life, children playing, dogs barking, cats resting away from anyone’s reach and so many horses that Arthur didn’t know where to put his gaze first.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John slowed down Old Boy so his lover could take it all in, but that still probably wouldn’t be enough. Something was telling John they were going to spend all day here so Arthur could really enjoy this trip. But first thing first.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is a tailor's shop,” he said, stopping the gelding by the hitching post in front of the building. “He sold me the clothes you have now, he can give you more.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur didn’t really listen, still too captivated by the city and all the life going on here. John didn’t have the heart to make fun of him because of that, his lover was most likely overwhelmed. Some girl walking by didn’t help when she noticed Arthur being all handsome and perfect.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good morning, sir,” she said to him giggly, giving him a gentle wave.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur was so caught off guard he only responded when the girl was out of earshot. “Morning,” he mumbled, making John laugh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think she liked you,” he noticed and climbed down from Old Boy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She doesn't even know me,” Arthur noticed, still looking around. He seemed fascinated by two dogs running around together, playing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She knows you’re handsome, that’s enough.” John raised his hands towards Arthur and helped him get down. “Let’s get you some nice clothes, yeah?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wanted to see the town,” Arthur protested, looking towards the dogs again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The town ain’t going anywhere,” he assured, leading his lover towards the tailor. “We get you clothes and I’ll show you the town, how about that? You can even pet the dogs you keep watching.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright,” he agreed, reluctantly letting John stir him away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The visit to the tailor took them an hour. The man owning the business measured Arthur and helped him pick clothes in his size he had in his store, anything else would require fixing and adjusting the size first.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But there was still a lot of clothes to try on and Arthur was happy to do that, forgetting about the dogs and about the town for now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Knowing how to dress himself already, Arthur didn’t need John’s help so after a while, he went outside to wait there, leaving Arthur the money to pay for the clothes when he would be done.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once outside, John leaned against the hitching post next to Old Boy and lit up a cigarette, trying to ground himself somehow. It was so hard to believe that Arthur was still alive after John was sure he would never see him again. Not only that, he was human and currently buying clothes for himself. John dragged a fucking merman to the town and he could do that because the merman was a human man now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It shouldn’t be real, it felt like a dream and not a real life, something he was going to wake up from soon and find Arthur dead after all. John pinched himself to be sure, even annoyed Old Boy into biting him but the dream continued and the pain in his finger where the gelding’s teeth nipped him was real.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not a dream, Marston,” he said to himself, rubbing the aching place before taking a deep drag of his cigarette, the smoke burning his lungs pleasantly, another reminded that it was real. Everything was, Arthur being alive, being human. And this was their new life, a new start. Something even a goddamn Death herself couldn’t take away from them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The door opening behind him pulled John out of his thoughts. He turned around and a cigarette almost fell off his mouth at the sight of Arthur in his new clothes. The tailor dressed him in a blue shirt, black pants, got him a nice pair of riding boots and loosely tied a black neckerchief around his neck. He looked so good John wanted nothing more but to run to him and kiss him till they would lose their breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But all he could do with people around them was smile dumbly with all the love he felt for the other man.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur looked at him shyly, playing with his suspenders. “How do I look?” he asked, pushing the hat higher up his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before answering. “Breathtaking, darlin’.” And even that didn’t seem to cover the beauty that was Arthur right now. He looked simply outstanding, the bright blue of his shirt bringing out the color of his eyes, making them even more vibrant than they already were. He was the most beautiful man on Earth and he became even more beautiful when he smiled widely at John, making his heart skip a beat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good, help me get the other clothes, will you?” he said, pointing back at the store. “I bought a lot.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>John laughed and eagerly followed him back inside. The happiness that filled every fiber of his body was so strong, stronger even than the pain, that John didn't have any more doubt that it was all real. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>At first, I wanted to turn John into a merman. But halfway through the story I changed my mind, deciding it would be a better idea to turn Arthur into a human. John already gave up a lot to be with Arthur and Arthur being human now and discovering the world on land just seems like a more interesting idea.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Where Roads Would Carry</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's over! 😭 I honestly cried writing the last sentence, I'm gonna miss this story so much!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>John turned in his sleep, trying to snuggle closer to the body laying next to him, only no one was there. He woke up and panicked momentarily, sitting up and looking around for Arthur. No, no, no, this couldn’t have all been just a dream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He opened his mouth to call for his lover when his eyes finally noticed a figure sitting on the rock belt, barely visible so far away from the fire. John breathed out in relief and stood up, walking to the other man through the chilly water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur turned to look at him briefly then got back to watching the dark ocean ahead, the surface almost completely flat, looking like a void. John climbed the rocks and took a seat next to his lover, staring ahead as well. They sat like that in silence for a few moments, Arthur kept his legs in the water, which was making John anxious but he wasn’t going to say anything, especially to pull them out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why ain’t you asleep?” he asked instead. Bad dream? John knew well how haunting near death experiences could be. Arthur didn’t look shaken though, so it probably wasn’t it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Got to think,” he answered, waving his legs in the water. John watched them, remembering how not long ago there was a tail in their place doing the same and it hit him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want to swim, ain’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur didn’t have to nod, it was obvious now, his body was practically shaking to get into the ocean.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wonder if that desire will ever go away.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably not.” John wanted to lie and say it would, but losing something so important suddenly is never easy. He had nothing to compare it with, but he could imagine it would hurt a lot to not be able to ride a horse ever again. “We can find someone to teach you to swim if you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It won’t be the same. Hell I think it will be worse, that when I’ll get into the water, knowing how many things I can’t do still, I’ll miss being a merman even more.” Arthur pointed out with a sigh and looked at John. “Don’t take it as me blaming you for turning me, I’m just thinking out loud.” John smiled and dropped his gaze, the tiniest of guilt already forming in his chest. He tried to crush it, throw Arthur’s words at it but it refused to die, so he just ignored it while Arthur continued. “No more diving, no more swimming with wales, dolphins. No more Boadicea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How was John not supposed to feel guilty with all of that? He knew he wasn’t to blame, that he did what was right and he wasn’t regretting it, but his conscience didn’t exactly understand that. Especially hearing Arthur now, mentioning in a defeated voice everything that he had lost forever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was right, learning to swim wouldn’t be the same as having a tail, gills and whatever else merpeople had, and what was making them such perfect swimmers. Humans were clumsy in the water and no matter how hard Arthur would practice, he would never swim like before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ocean wasn’t going anywhere, but Arthur wasn’t going anywhere in said ocean either. He was a land animal now and nothing would change that, no matter how much they both would like for things to be different.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” That was the only thing John could say right now. Because what else could he say? He was never in a similar situation, he had no idea how Arthur was feeling right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, me too.” John watched how Arthur kicked the water into the air and observed it longingly. “It’s not that I regret becoming a human, you know? I stand by what I said, I rather be alive as a human than dead as a merman. I’m glad I'm alive, that I can be with you and see all that is on land. I’m just gonna miss the ocean more than I thought I would.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carefully, John wrapped his arm around the other man’s shoulder, offering comfort. Arthur didn’t reject it, he leaned into John’s side and sighed, his eyes dropping closed. “I know what you mean,” John said, rubbing Arthur’s arm. “Would it be better if you could turn on a whim, huh? Live both lives?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that would be perfect,” he admitted with a smile. “And that’s the problem, it would be too perfect. And right now turning back into a merman whenever I would miss the ocean would be dangerous, if even possible after one change already.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Silence fell between them again as they watched the ocean together, a world they both didn’t belong too now. “I’m gonna miss swimming with you too. I actually enjoy water now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur looked at him with a smile. “You’re welcome.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John returned his smile and kissed Arthur’s temple when an idea popped up in his head. “Hey, how about we learn how to swim together?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur looked at him surprised. “You serious?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John shrugged. “I think I waited enough with that, don’t you think? And I want to be with you then instead of only cheering from the shore. And then we could swim together again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The grin on Arthur’s face was enough of an answer. John wished he could do more to cheer up his lover but unfortunately, he couldn’t turn back the time or give Arthur the tail whenever he wanted. If he could, he would.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I tried to convince you to learn how to swim for a while and now you finally agree?” Arthur asked teasingly. “When I can’t protect you out in the water anymore?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think you were suited to teach a human how to swim,” he reminded the other man and tangled his fingers in Arthur’s hair, bringing him closer for a comforting kiss. “Learning together is more fun anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess we’ll find out,” Arthur decided, and kissed him again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John hummed into the kiss and held their lips a little bit longer before pulling back. “Ready to go to bed?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Arthur breathed out, licking his lips. John’s eyes were instantly drawn to the movement and he felt his mouth going a bit dry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on then,” he urged. “It’s freezing out here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur chuckled and followed him, giving the ocean one last longing look before jumping down after John and losing his balance. John steadied him and they returned to their ‘bed’ by the fire. John was just about to lay back down and open his arms for his lover when he felt Arthur coming behind him and plastering himself against his back. John’s breath hitched when he felt the semi hard bulge pressed against his ass.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Make love to me,” Arthur whispered and nuzzled his neck, placing small kisses on it as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John shuddered and looked behind himself. “You sure?” he asked, grabbing Arthur’s hands that started to suggestively play with the buttons of John’s union suit. He needed to ask, to be absolutely sure. They haven’t had sex since Arthur become a human, too busy with the walking lessons. There wasn’t much time to think about being intimate then, but now with the offer on the table, John burned for his lover’s body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur nipped at his neck and nodded against it. “The ocean wasn’t the only thing I was thinking about,” he purred and made a work on one of the buttons. “I’m a human now, you could fuck me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God, yes,” he sighed and turned around to kiss smiling Arthur hungrily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kissing and groping each other, they somehow managed to lower their bodies on the blanket and start undressing, tossing the clothes away. John’s union suit was the last one to go, he tugged it from his legs and returned to Arthur’s open arms, kissing him again and pushing back onto the blanket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur’s legs fell open, welcoming John between them. They moaned into the kiss when their groins rubbed together as John settled comfortably against his lover, never stopping kissing him. Their tongues tangled together in Arthur’s mouth, John had no mercy on him and controlled the kiss, quickly turning the other man into a breathless, moaning mess. Arthur didn’t mind, he submitted eagerly, quivering under him with each roll of John’s hips against him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John wasn't feeling any better, his body was on fire, burned by the desire growing bigger and bigger whenever he felt the legs around him tightening. They felt so good, strong yet so weak with how they were shaking already.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Growling into the kiss, he grabbed one of Arthur’s legs and hooked it further across the lower of his back, the other man’s thigh pressed against his hip. The other leg wrapped itself around him automatically and John was successfully trapped in a tight grip that made him tremble with desire.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Breaking the kiss, he bent his head and put his lips on Arthur’s pulse point, sucking on it hard as the blood under his tongue sped up, rushing through the vein. Arthur moaned out loud and bared his neck, one of his hands flying to John’s hair and grabbing it, just holding, anchoring himself. The other landed on John’s shoulder, piercing it with the nails that couldn’t do no harm anymore but gave enough pain that it caused John to rub their pelvises together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur moaned again and John with him, feeling how his lover’s legs brushed against his hips with the roll of them. It made John’s blood boil, urgent, he let go of the now bruised patch of skin and licked the warm hickey, soothing the aching before moving down Arthur’s body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With the strong legs falling open around him, John kissed his way through the hairy chest and the soft stomach, finally reaching Arthur’s erect cock resting against his abdomen. It was still long, not as long as before, but thicker and it smelled so good it made John’s mouth water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without hesitation, he put the tip between his lips and swirled his tongue around the head and across the slit. Arthur cursed, his hips bucking to try sink deeper into the warmth of John’s mouth, but John held them, feeling them tremble under his palms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Humming, he lowered his head, taking more of the cock into his mouth. He closed his eyes in a bliss as it slid against his tongue, going deeper and deeper till it poked at the opening of his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck,” Arthur breathed out, his fingers curling in John’s black locks. “John.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John hummed again, took a deep breath and opened his throat, taking the hard shaft further till his nose rested in the bush of hair at the bottom. John inhaled deeply and stayed like that for a moment, listening to Arthur’s loud pants and quiet curses. He tried to move his tongue a little but it was trapped under the meaty flesh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a deep breath through his nose, John raised his head again, making sure to give the cock in his mouth good lick as he pulled back. Fingers in his hair tightened and Arthur gave out a long moan that was cut short when John reached the head and sucked on it, moaning himself at the taste of the precum on his tongue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He lapped at it hungrily and went down again, bobbing his head in a steady rhythm. “John,” Arthur moaned again, shyly rutting into John’s mouth with the little freedom John allowed him to have, holding him only with one hand now, the other sneaking lower. “God, your mouth… It’s perfect.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John felt his cock jumping at the praise. Swallowing a moan along with the shaft in his mouth, he brushed his fingers against Arthur’s balls. They were tight, drawn, ready to shoot deep into John’s throat and it practically made John drool. Or maybe it was the cock filling his mouth to a brim, going in and out with Arthur’s soft, careful thrusts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you taking me so well?” his lover asked breathlessly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John only hummed in response and raised his head to the tip, playing with it again. He grabbed the rest of the shaft with his hand and stroked it a few times, collecting the spit from it. He wiped his mouth from it as well and with fingers wet like that, he returned his hand between Arthur’s legs, going lower than the balls, slipping one finger between the cheeks and rubbing the tight hole there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur gasped and bucked his hips widely, pushing deep into John’s throat. John barely managed to relax it to not choke, but it still brought some tears to his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit,” Arthur breathed out, letting his hands drop to the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John lifted his head from his lover’s cock and looked at him, continuing playing with the pucker of muscles between his cheeks. “Good?” he asked in a rough voice, watching Arthur’s face for any signs of pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But there was only blush and awe on it, the other man’s chest rising with a ragged breath. “Yeah,” he answered, staring back at John. “Didn’t know it feels this good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John chuckled. “And I didn’t do anything yet,” he noticed, pleased and gently probed the clenching hole, watching how Arthur closed his eyes and tossed his head back. His hole tightened around the tip of John’s finger and he already couldn’t wait to feel it on his cock that pulsed with need to be touched, wrapped by something, be that a hand or Arthur’s wonderfully tight hole. “Imma get the gun oil,” he informed his lover, pulling his finger out and smiling at Arthur’s disappointed whine. “It would hurt like hell with just spit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to know how you know that,” Arthur noticed, laying boneless on the blanket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John almost didn’t want to return to him, just keep watching him like that, trusting and open, his whole body flushed, glimmering with sweat in the orange glow of the fire. Arthur smiled at him and John’s heart started to beat faster with love.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grabbed the gun oil quickly and returned to his lover, kissing him slowly. Arthur cupped his face with his hands and returned the kiss with a hum of pleasure. “I love you,” he whispered when they broke apart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too,” John said back and with one last peck to those red, plump lips, he returned between Arthur’s thighs the other man eagerly opened for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John stroked his hand up and down the strong thigh, squeezing it gently, his nails scratching the sensitive flesh and pulling a broken moan from Arthur. Smiling, John coated his fingers with oil, probably putting more than necessary but he didn’t want to hurt Arthur. He kept the oil close and returned his clean hand to Arthur’s thigh, spreading it wider while he slipped the fingers of the other back between the cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur was completely relaxed when John slowly slipped one finger in, spreading the oil on the smooth walls that contracted around the digit, pulling it deeper. John’s lover was breathing hard to stay relaxed but didn’t look like he was in pain, still John watched him in concern as he moved his finger in and out of him slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?” he asked to hear it himself and stop worrying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Arthur sounded completely lost in the pleasure, he wasn’t even looking back at John, only staring at the roof of the cliff above them. “God, John, it feels amazing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he agreed, pushing the finger all the way to the knuckle, watching how Arthur’s breath hitched at the fullness. If this was how he was reacting now, John already knew he was going to love the moment he would slide his cock inside. “Tell me if it hurts at any moment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will,” he promised, finally looking at John with fogged eyes. “Keep going.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never stopped,” he pointed out with a smile, moving his finger with ease.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With each slide in, Arthur started opening up more, moaning softly into the sky. John didn’t stop watching him even for a moment, captivated by the pleasure his lover was in, how it was consuming him and making his body writhe. John never saw him in a more beautiful state and god, did he want to draw this image to never forget it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he added a second finger, it slipped in without a resistance. Arthur was already so loose after a few minutes of only one finger, John had to grab his cock and squeeze it to not shoot his load right here and there, but it wasn't easy when Arthur moaned so lovely at another intrusion and pushed his hips back at it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John took a deep breath and counted to ten before releasing it, his lip almost bleeding from how hard he bit into it to distract himself from pleasure. But even for a moment he hadn’t stopped pleasuring Arthur, getting closer to the bundle of nerves he was avoiding so far and which he knew would drive Arthur crazy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Feeling that he regained control over himself, John let go of his cock and exchanged it for Arthur’s, stroking the shaft gently. His lover’s body tensed for a second or two before going slack with a hoarse groan. Arthur dug his fingers into the blanket and breathed out deeply. “That’s so good,” he said, sounding almost amazed. “Human body is so much better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John chuckled. “You think so?” Arthur nodded in response. “Wanna feel something better?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur curiously looked at him with one eye, the second one quickly joining the first, both wide open when John brushed his fingers over the pleasure point inside. Arthur didn’t make a sound but all the air was unexpectedly punched from his lungs and he started panting, with John watching him smugly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shocked, Arthur gaped at him. “That’s the place I’ve been hitting sometimes while fucking you?” he asked, still out of breath after pleasure took it for itself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup,” John confirmed and brushed it again, watching Arthur’s mouth going slack as he mewled this time. “It’s nice ain’t it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur laughed, his laugh quickly turning into a moan when John pleasured that one spot again. “’Nice’ ain’t exactly covering it,” he replied, twisting with pleasure at another contact. John was slowly massaging him there, watching how he was losing any last senses he had. “God, John.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” he asked, pressing harder into the small ball. Arthur gasped and his hips jumped on their own, chasing John’s fingers. They didn’t have to, John was happy to touch that place again, and again while Arthur haplessly tossed in front of him, looking for the words to say but all that was coming from his mouth were endless spits of moans. “Wanted to say something?” John teased, increasing the speed of his strokes on Arthur’s cock. He could feel it pulsing with approaching orgasm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ngh, bastard,” Arthur growled with another moan, not sounding even a little bit scary. “If you stop now…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I ain’t planning too,” John assured smugly, and rubbed both the ball of nerves and the cock fast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was all it took for Arthur’s body to tremble as the pleasure took it in its possession. Arthur moaned brokenly into the night, arching from the blanket in his orgasm and shooting seed onto his stomach, some of it even onto his chest as John milked his cock with his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John held his breath watching, admiring the amazing sight for a few seconds it lasted. Arthur dropped back onto the blanket then, his chest rising and falling fast with heavy breaths. John could swear he could even hear his lover’s heartbeat, wild and racing, but it was probably his own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blood rushed through his head, all of it going down to his neglected cock. John grabbed it again and slowly pulled his fingers from Arthur who sighed at the loss. Through foggy eyes, he looked at John and smiled. “That was something,” he summed up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John bursted out laughing and climbed his lover’s body to kiss him lovingly. “It certainly was,” he agreed during a short break and then kissed Arthur again. “You have enough or…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t finish, with a lot of surprising strength, Arthur grabbed him by the nape of the neck and brought to a bruising kiss. John’s arms almost gave out under him with how aggressive that kiss was. “Fuck me, John Marston,” Arthur ordered sternly. “Don’t you dare stop now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John watched him shocked with an open mouth before nodding eagerly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He got back between his lover’s legs, grabbed the oil and quickly rubbed it on his cock, hissing at how sensitive it was. He wasn't going to last long but it was probably for the better since Arthur already came.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grabbing his lover’s gorgeous legs to keep them open, John positioned himself at the slick, glistering entrance and looked up at Arthur. “You’re ready?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur nodded without hesitation. “Give it to me, sweetheart,” he begged in a low voice that sent a shiver straight to John’s cock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John pressed forward, breaching the opening with the fat head of his cock that was slowly enveloped by an amazing heat. Arthur’s mouth went slack and he let out a quivering breath that quickly turned into a steady panting to keep him relaxed as he was being filled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The slide in was so painfully slow but so good that John was surprised he didn’t finish in a second like a goddamn teenager. He needed to stop to collect himself, but Arthur was so wonderfully tight and warm he just couldn’t. He entered to the middle and started rolling his hips lazily, letting Arthur adjust to the new intrusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Christ,” Arthur gasped, his body trembling again and toes curling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hurt?” John asked, breathing through gritted teeth and giving his lover a deep thrust.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he answered with a groan, meeting the next of John’s thrust with his hips. “It feels amazing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled at him and increased his speed, pushing deeper with each move and pulling soft gasps from Arthur with every thrust. “I’m glad.” Dropping onto his forearms positioned on each side of Arthur’s head, John kissed him as he rocked both of their bodies. Arthur’s hands came around his shoulders right away, his legs closing around John’s hips as well. With ankles crossed just above John’s ass, he pulled him deeper till John’s pelvis was flush against Arthur’s ass, making them both lose it for a moment. “You feel so good, darlin’,” John whispered against the other man’s lips, rutting against him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur brought his hand to John's face and caressed it gently while staring into his eyes. “You too,” he admitted with a rasp and kissed John messily, lips slipping from one another. “So good,” he added with a grunt and hid his face in the side of John’s neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John braced himself better on his knees and forearms and thrusted harder into the willing body under him. Arthur gasped into his neck and tightening his hold on him, both with his limbs and with his hole.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John choked up on the wonderful squeeze and with a new found ravenous, he grinded into Arthur desperately, chasing his own orgasm. Their bodies were pressed tight together, John could feel Arthur’s cock filling up again against his stomach but he couldn’t reach it without losing the rhythm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead he adjusted his angle, entering shallower and pressing against that bundle of nerves. Arthur trashed under him with a moan, squeezing on him again. John hit that spot once more, grinding his teeth painfully as the tightens started to bring him closer to the edge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just like that, Art,” he panted, abusing that one spot constantly now, taking pleasure in how much it was affecting Arthur, making him tremble and fall apart again, so soon after the last time. “Keep squeezing me, darlin’,” John encouraged his lover, rolling his hips faster and faster, losing his rhythm. “Just a little longer, just a…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John felt hot wetness on his stomach and thighs quivering around him at the same time as Arthur cried into his neck, reaching another orgasm just like that. Cursing under his breath, John gave three more rapid thrusts and came as well, spilling into the tight heat. With grunts of pleasure, he kept rolling his hips, stroking his cock with the smooth walls till there was nothing left in him and he just stayed as deep as he could.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur clung to him still, coming back to himself after another orgasm, his breath warming up the colling skin on John’s neck. Both of them didn’t move for a while, just resting. But when John’s arms started to shake, exhausted just like the rest of his body, he proceeded to pull out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Only he met a resistance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur held him tighter, digging his heel into John’s lower back to keep him inside. “Stay,” he asked, his breathing evening out slowly. “Just for a moment longer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even with ache in his arms, John didn’t have a heart to refuse. So he gently lowered himself on Arthur’s body, pressing him into the blanket. The other man grunted in satisfaction and relaxed under John’s solid body as they held each other through the afterglow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Next day, Arthur and John finally began riding lessons, starting with taking care of the horse and saddling it. Old Boy was very patient with Arthur and didn’t react much to mistakes or when the man was doing something too hard. It’s like the gelding understood that Arthur was pretty much clueless about everything and was forgiving him even the mess that was putting the bridle on. John was sure Old Boy would bite Arthur sooner or later but he didn’t, only huffed in irritation a lot but left the man harmless. John rewarded the horse with a carrot for that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After the basics, it was time to hop on onto the saddle for the first and learn everything, step by step. It was impossible to learn everything on day one, it took John years to become a really good rider. The goal was to teach Arthur how to ride, simple as that, that meant proper mounting and giving commends, both with voice and using the legs or spurs, in later days also how to gallop and jump over small obstacles so Arthur could handle being on the road, even alone. Everything else would come naturally to him, as the bond between him and a horse he didn’t have yet would tighten. There was no better way to learn horse-riding and gain a companion in a horse, than by traveling. And John would be there every second of this travel to give tips and offer help whenever it would be needed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As much as Arthur liked saddling Old Boy and grooming him, his favorite part of the first lesson, the one he was waiting for the most, was riding of course. He was vibrating with excitement, waiting for the nod from John to get on horseback. John couldn’t not smile seeing this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, mount up,” he finally allowed, getting a big grin from Arthur in return. “Remember how I showed you how to do it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got this,” he assured and put the left leg into the stirrup. His legs were getting even stronger with each day since he got them and started learning how to use them, so pushing himself from the ground was effortless. Arthur swiftly tossed his leg over Old Boy’s back, he lost some balance but he quickly regained it and adjusted himself in the saddle, making sure his right foot was in the stirrup as well. “Did I do good?” he asked, proud already and still grinning at John from above.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did it perfectly, sweetheart.” John gave him a pat on the thigh and walked closer to Old Boy’s head, grabbing the bridle there. He was going to lead the horse first, to give Arthur the idea of how the animal moved. Riding only as a passenger was different than as a rider. “Let’s walk around the bay a little, okay? Hold the reins if you want, get used to them. Just don’t tug at them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur picked up the reins gently, almost fearfully, clearly trying to do it the way John was always doing, because his hold wasn't the hold of a beginner, but rather someone who rode enough horses to hold the reins loosely in one hand. John smiled at that. “Alright, let’s go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Clicking at Old Boy, they moved slowly, leaving the shade of the cliff and entering the sun, only brims of their hats protecting them from the heat falling from the sky.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s so different than riding behind you,” Arthur told him after just a couple of feet. “Or when I was still a merman.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Old Boy is less massive than that Breton I got for you. And the rump moves differently than the back when you ride,” John explained, turning Old Boy to get into the water. The gelding shook his head when coolness surrounded his legs. “You need to learn how it works so you can move your body with it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s why you move your ass so much while you ride?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John chuckled. “Yeah, that’s how you do it. Just stay relaxed and let your horse move you,” he advised. “So don’t sit stiff, don’t hunch, back must be straight, legs not gripping the sides.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur put all those tips to work right away. He was already relaxed but now even more so, and it didn’t take long for his body to adjust to Old Boy’s movement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh, it actually feels much better,” Arthur pointed out with a smile and looked around, admiring the world from the spot on the horse’s back, even if the said world was limited to the bay for now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s ride around a little bit more and I’ll show you how to lead a horse with your legs,” John suggested. “Then you can try on your own.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Few minutes later, they were just going through basic nudges to make the horse go left or right when John heard a movement behind them. He turned quickly, grabbing the gun and pulling it from his holster to point it at whoever found the path to the bay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a second or two, he stood tense, aiming at the stranger he recognized not being a stranger at all. “Charles?” he asked, surprised and lowered his gun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Charles stood in the middle of the path, staring with eyes wide open and John knew his friend’s gaze wasn’t aimed at him but at Arthur, who gave the younger man a gentle wave. “Howdy, Charles,” he greeted the other man like nothing was wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Charles stepped lower and John led Old Boy and Arthur riding him closer to meet their friend halfway through. “Charles, what are you doing here?” John asked when he was sure they would be able to hear each other clearly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other man didn’t answer, he stopped in front of them, with his attention only on Arthur. John couldn’t blame him, but he needed to know why Charles was here, if the rest of the gang was with him, and this wasn’t helping him get the answers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Charles.” The louder tone finally snapped Charles out of the shock, but he was still sneaking glances at Arthur, sitting calmly on the horse. “Focus. Why are you here? Didn’t you all go north?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Charles set his eyes on John when he answered. He still looked shocked, more so than when he first met Arthur as a merman. “We did, but Micah wasn’t returning for a while now so we headed back,” he explained, not being able to focus on John for long. His gaze fell on Arthur again, precisely on his legs. “We sent him scouting but he never returned. Hosea worried that he might’ve come back here to get Arthur but I assume he was met with disappointment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not quite,” Arthur mumbled sadly. Even without looking at him, John knew his lover was touching his legs. “Bastard took away my tail,” he added, with more anger this time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened?” Charles asked, more with concern than curiosity about how that was really possible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a longer story,” John answered, checking on Arthur, worried that bringing up the subject would make him melancholic again like last night. His lover didn’t seem so gloomy though, more angry than sad, so John faced Charles again. “Is the gang with you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re probably a day behind, Hosea wanted someone to check on you as fast as possible so I went first.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then I’ll explain when they get here,” John decided. “Don’t want to talk about it two times.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted to spare Arthur and himself the pain. And anger. Thinking about what happened was making John see Arthur shot and dying in his arms again, and he really didn’t want to relive those memories too often. Arthur didn’t either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, but… What happened to Micah?” Charles looked at them both, waiting for an answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Some of his remains are probably at the bottom of the bay.” Arthur nodded towards the water. “And others in some shark’s digestive system.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That only confused Charles even more but he didn’t ask further questions. He did one, but he didn’t expect the answer to it. “Jesus, what the hell happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John had an answer for him anyway. “Fucking Micah,” he growled, quickly getting riled up. But before he could really get angry and start spitting how much he despised that rat bastard, he felt a nudge on his ass. Completely knocked out of his emotions, he looked at Arthur, who smiled down at him. It was enough to drag John away from spiraling into fury.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Smiling back, John rested his hand on Old Boy, just next to the saddle and Arthur grabbed it without hesitation, holding his fingers loosely in his palm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wanna join us in my riding lesson?” Arthur offered to Charles, already back to being cheerful. John was glad that mentioning what happened didn’t ruin Arthur’s excitement with today.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not?” Charles answered with his own smile. “What are you doing now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna ride on my own soon,” Arthur answered happily while John stirred Old Boy back into the shade where they were going through theory before Charles interrupted them. “John just needs to explain to me how to use my new legs. You can help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can do it on my own,” John reminded quickly and glared at Arthur for even suggesting that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be rude, John,” his lover scolded him before looking at Charles. “So what do you say?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine with just watching,” Charles answered, smiling knowingly at John who blushed and looked away. “Let me just get Taima down, she could use the hay and the water you have here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, we have plenty to spare,” John assured, still feeling a little awkward with how Charles was looking at him, clearly amused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Be back in a second,” he informed, still smiling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John avoided his gaze till his friend was gone, but then Arthur’s replaced it, only instead of amusement, there was smugness on his face. “What?” John snapped, pouting just slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing. Like you jealous like that, that's all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John huffed in annoyance. “Bastard.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Charles left them for the night. He said he wanted to meet the others in the morning but John suspected he just wanted to give him and Arthur some privacy. And they were very glad for it when Arthur got on his fours and John fucked him from behind before they went to bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The gang arrived before noon, all of them. Charles returned to inform them about their arrival and John went up the cliff to welcome them. They parted ways not so long ago, yet they missed each other so much John hugged every single one of his friends, being happy to see them alive and well. And the feeling was mutual, they’ve been all worried what Micah could’ve done. Hosea told him as much when they hugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad you’re okay,” he whispered next to John’s ear before pulling away and looking at him with a happy smile. “Arthur okay too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, thankfully.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hosea narrowed his eyes at him, not sure what that meant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We shouldn’t stand in the middle of the road like that,” Dutch noticed, wearing a big grin on his face. He took John away from Hosea, giving him a one arm hug. “It’s really good to see you, John. How about you show us where you live?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Arthur was still a merman, he would say no. But there was no reason to hide the location of the bay anymore. Arthur wasn’t worth any cent anymore. No to other people at least, because to John he meant more than the world itself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So John led them to the bay where Arthur was just practicing riding on his own, gaining more and more confidence with every lap he was doing around the bay. Everyone was too focused on not tripping while going down to notice that Old Boy wasn’t walking around on his own and had a rider on his back. But when they did, everyone was not less shocked than on the day Micah and Bill dragged Arthur to the camp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seeing so many people, even though he saw them before, was a little intimidating to Arthur. He stopped Old Boy and dismounted, stroking the horse’s neck for comfort while everyone except Charles stared at him in disbelief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was definitely Arthur they were seeing, they couldn’t mistake him for anyone else, the face never changed, but the appearance of the legs was enough to shock everyone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oi, wasn’t your boy a fish or something?” Sean asked first. “Am I going loony?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but that began a long time ago,” Lenny answered him, not even looking at him or smiling at his own joke. “I see legs instead of a tail too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it’s even stranger than seeing the tail,” Sadie admitted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hosea seemed the least shocked out of all of them, probably because he knew transformation from a human to a merperson was possible so he connected the dots already.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then there was Jack, simply confused why the nice merman with a pretty tail had legs suddenly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come sit by the fire, I’ll explain everything,” John promised and walked to Arthur, still shyly standing in the middle of the bay. He grabbed his lover's hand and led him and Old Boy closer to everyone. Arthur smiled at him, grateful and followed, holding Old Boy’s bridle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The gang was already taking seats all over the place, more or less subtly staring at Arthur simply walking like it was something strange. And to them it was, it was even catching John off gourd sometimes. He kept forgetting he didn’t have to cast his eyes down to look at Arthur anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After finding their own space to sit, John looked around the gang. It was strange seeing so many people in the bay. There was enough space for them, but for a while it was only his and Arthur’s place, so now John wasn't used to seeing so many faces in here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You two have a nice home,” Tilly spoke, a bit awkwardly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled at her. “Thanks.” They couldn’t stay here forever or live on the beach, but it was nonetheless a home, and John was going to remember it as such.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So.” Dutch lit up a cigar, sitting on a bale of hay to not put sand on his fancy pants. “I’m sure I speak for all of us asking what the hell happened?” he started, chuckling. “Last time we saw you and your boy, he wasn’t exactly a human.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But the last time we saw each other Micah tried to kill Arthur too,” John recalled, clenching his fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Told you he would want revenge,” Hosea said to Dutch and glared at him. “And that letting him out scouting was a bad idea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How should I’ve known he would get back so far?” Dutch asked, annoyed. “I thought he cooled off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That lunatic? He’s constantly on fire. Or should I say ‘was’?” Hosea looked at John and Arthur, expecting an explanation. “What happened with Micah, boys?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur shrugged nonchalantly. “Killed him,” he answered simply. “Tore his throat to pieces.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John wasn’t even the least surprised when some of the gang members reacted with relief or even joy at the news.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He came here bragging how he is going to kill me and sell Arthur to a museum,” John followed up. “And how he was the rat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dutch looked up shocked at him. He was the only one and John wanted to laugh at how blind the leader was. “Are you sure?” the older man asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I heard it,” Arthur answered for John. “He wanted to get rid of John that way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But that doesn’t make sense,” Dutch pointed out. “He was putting all of us at risk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe because he’s a lunatic who doesn’t care about anyone but himself?” Hosea suggested and he and Dutch glared at each other. John doubted it started just now, it must’ve been going on for a while now, probably since the gang left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, John, I didn’t think he would do something like that, it’s not like him,” Dutch said eventually, sounding sincere.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t about him, so John didn’t mention how unfair that was to him. “Whatever you say,” he sighed and squeezed Arthur’s hand harder. His lover squeezed right back, giving his support. “He almost killed Arthur.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talking about this, even without going into details, was still painful, and it brought back even more painful memories. The blood flooding through his fingers, the fear in Arthur’s eyes as he kept drowning in it, the slowing down of his chest as he seemingly gave his last breath before John shared his with him, miraculously saving his life.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He needed to stop a couple of times even saying so little, he was reliving everything. No one hurried him up, Jack even came to him and gave him a hug, staying in his lap for the rest of the story. John held him as he explained how turning into a merperson or into a human is possible between the two species and how it saved Arthur’s life in the end. No one had trouble believing in it when they had a living proof sitting in front of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dutch apologized again, saying how sorry he was for trusting Micah. John didn’t care, he almost lost Arthur because of Dutch’s blindness and he was so angry at him for it. It seemed that they would have to wait a little while longer for things between them to be just like before this whole mess. If ever, because this pushed them apart again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thankfully Dutch must’ve realized John was furious with him again and didn’t ask for forgiveness, not directly at first.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what are you going to do now?” he asked them both. “If you want to return to the gang, there is a free place for you and Arthur. Everyone would love for you to come back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John wouldn’t. He missed the gang but he didn’t want to get back. Not now at least.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a nice offer but we have other plans,” he refused and looked at Arthur. “Once Arthur learns to ride we gonna travel America. I want to show him the land.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could do it with the gang, it would be safer, but John didn’t want to join them. He wanted it to be just him and Arthur, riding horseback through the deserts and plains and forests, everywhere they could go without having to worry about others interrupting them, tagging along or finding a secluded place to have sex.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just two travelers on the trail.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I assume you’ll need a horse then,” Hosea pointed out with a smile, fond of John’s idea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s no problem, I’ll buy one soon to get Arthur used to it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Some ranchers had to have cheap horses to sell in this place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or I can give you the Shire I have,” the older man suggested. “I don’t know what to do with it anyway, I thought about selling it but I could give it to Arthur.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That mean thing?” John asked with concern. “I don’t think giving it to Arthur is a good idea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not to mention it was tall. And a tall horse meant worse injury when you fell from it. Even John would be wary while riding this horse and he had a bigger experience with them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe we’ll let Arthur decide,” Hosea suggested and looked at the other man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I see the horse first?” John's lover asked eagerly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the evening, when the gang returned to their wagons after the whole day spent in the bay on drinking and having a party because of Micah’s death, the black Shire of Hosea stayed with Arthur and John and slept next to Old Boy while John and Arthur made love again, with John on his hand and knees this time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The gang left again in the morning, which resulted in another heartfelt goodbye between everyone and John. And this time they knew they wouldn’t have any form of communication between them. With how much Arthur and John were planning to travel, sending letters or telegrams would be impossible. But John promised they would see each other again one day, maybe taking Dutch’s offer this time and joining the gang. Arthur should know how to shoot by then.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took two weeks for Arthur to master the simplest riding. John watched him with pride how he rode around the bay on his Shire which was surprisingly gentle for a beast so mean. Maybe the gelding just liked Arthur enough to not be a menace to him. Or just like Old Boy he was sensing he was dealing with an armature. Either way, the horse was perfect and Arthur loved it already, naming him Buttercup for how gentle he was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With nothing but memories holding them in the bay anymore, it was time to leave. So they packed and then the next day, they got ready to ride off, swearing they would return here at the end of their trip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the early morning, with the bay still cast in the dark, they took it in one last time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna miss this place,” Arthur said, leaning against John.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, me too,” he admitted and finished buttoning his sleeveless denim jacket, then tied a choker around his neck. “But we’ll come back after we see all that the world has to offer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had big plans, John wanted to show Arthur so many things, simple things that wouldn’t impress anyone else but a merman recently turned human. There was snow and meadows covered with wildflowers. Wild fruits to eat fresh from the bushes, so many animals to see, people to meet, cities and towns to visit. Theaters and people putting shows on the streets to watch, music, dancing and food that Arthur would’ve never imagined.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And John was going to be by Arthur's side though all of this, watching him explore the new world. And he couldn’t wait for that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Arthur agreed with a smile and nodded at the path. “Shall we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John grinned back and together, they climbed the path with their horses they next mounted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Standing next to each other, John looked at Arthur, dressed in his favorite blue shirt and yellow jacket, a hat John bought him sitting on his head. Despite missing the bay already, he was eager to see new things and places, and it was showing on his face. He looked simply beautiful like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loosely griping the reins in one hand, John adjusted himself in the saddle. “Ready, Mr. Morgan?” he asked, using the second name Arthur picked for himself. Or rather opened his compendium, safely tucked in his saddle bags right now, on the chapter about horses and blindly pointed at one of the breeds, deciding this is how he was going to name himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It suited him. John rarely rode Morgans but he always liked how strong, reliable and loyal they were. A good strong name for an equally good strong man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After you, Mr. Marston,” he answered in a chirpy tone and pointed with his hand ahead of them, towards the exit of the forest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John smiled wide, adjusted the hat on his head and with a nudge to Old Boy, he trotted in the pointed direction, hearing Arthur right behind him. They soon left the forest and rode side by side to wherever the road was going to carry them first.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is it, the last chapter. I started this story nearly a year ago, simply translating two first chapters, not sure if I would ever finish it. But now I'm posting the last chapter and I couldn't be more proud of myself and the progress I made through this year. Thank you all so much for reading it, no matter if you commented or not, you kept me going, I'm so glad I could write this story for you all! It was a pleasure! Maybe one day I will add and one-shot or two to this but for now, this is goodbye to merman Arthur and his human lovers. </p><p>See you in other stories! Still have a lot to add to the Morston tag to get it to 1000 works here!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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